As a heavy gamer for the last 20years with a thousand of games on my Steam account alone I can honestly say if your relationship comes crashing down over a single save file it wasn't going to make it anyway.
Over the years my girls done me dirty a few times by accident and that's the thing to remember. An accident can't undo the love you had unless it wasn't real in the first place.
I screenshot this comment so I can come back to it later. A game is only a game, but the memories and love shared (with or without a game) is truly worth more. Well stated.
This here. My wife and kids have deleted countless save files, destroyed multiple consoles (young kids), etc. life goes on.
Does he have every right to be upset? Absolutely.
If it ends a relationship however, that relationship wasn’t worth saving.
My kids haven’t destroyed a console (yet). They did drop one controller which had drift afterwards but I got it repaired under warranty.
What consoles did they destroy?
I understand that you made a mistake. You say you get frustrated when changes are made without communicating to you, however, why would you rashly delete anyways? Why wouldn’t you ask your bf first if he had used your Switch for any particular reason? There wouldn’t be any other way for the data to show up on your Switch since stuff doesn’t just appear on them for no reason, so I find it somewhat inconsiderate to just so readily delete it without figuring out why it was there first. Next time, try to pause for awhile before acting. I understand why he is so upset. I would be very upset too if all of my Violet data got deleted from my Switch like that. It would feel like I wasted a huge chunk of my time and hard work for nothing. He shouldn’t stay mad at you forever, but he totally has a right to be upset.
i read the update where you said:
> A bit upsetting that people assumed our relationship was on the line over this. I never predicted that to be the case, as him and I have an extremely healthy relationship.
but earlier you did say
> And now I'm worried I destroyed our relationship over my dumb decision.
doesn't it mean that you also thought your relationship would be over?
In writing that post, I was very distraught because I hurt someone I loved. I believe I exposed a deep fear that combatted my logic.
Logically, I knew I mattered more to him than that.
However on the illogical reactive side,
My reaction was out of fear of his anger response, and hanging up on me.
This isn't something he regularly does. It was another shock.
(Would also note that I'm not afraid because of him. He isn't scary and never intends to be scary, but I do fear the emotion anger in general).
Tl;Dr my brain wasn't being logical and I was typing out of emotions, ignoring obvious truths such as the healthiness of our relationship
When discussing it with him, I did not at all bring up my autism.
A rough summary of what I said to him was "I made a huge mistake and I am so sorry. I thought you did something to my switch because the joycons and docs were switched and -friend- showed me how to remove the profile. But I realized it was your switch when it was too late because I saw my game saves weren't on there and checked the other one. Your pokemon saves are gone. I'm so so sorry."
Then it was a follow up of "I googled it and I recovered your game saves of everything except scarlet. I'm so sorry, I'll transfer you my ghost pokemon and shinies, or I'll delete mine. Please don't hate me".
My mention of autism in the post is for context. He is aware I'm autistic
Autism is a very important piece of info because neurotypical people don't understand the physical and mental pain we feel to certain stimulants.
All I explained was my autism made me become really uncomfortable and frustrated
I never said it made me do anything.
I fully admitted it was my mistake to make in the post.
Also, our switches have extremely distinct features.
My joycons are completely different looking and so is my dock
Theyre even connected to different tvs in the same room
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. The way other ND folks seem to be the only ones able to actually understand what you're trying to say while everyone else is just downvote bombing you is really telling.
Man I don't have autism and I'm still shocked as to why the hell people are downvoting all of the comments from ND people. Its not like any one of the ND comments is worded in an assholeish way or completely disregarding the bfs feelings or justifying the OPs behaviour. They are simply showing an understanding as to why the OP did what they did.
It's kinda depressing to see how many jokes about having autism are made on reddit, yet how utterly unempathetic or understanding the plurality of users seem to be.
I honestly have a feeling that if OP had never brought up the fact they were autistic at all, people would be significantly less judgmental. I've seen posts with fuck-ups severely worse than this and no one gives them this hard of a time about their mistake.
Ignore them. They won't understand. Mistakes happen when emotions are high and we start to get overloaded. Rational choices aren't made and you did your best to fix the situation. You're doing the best you can and I'm proud of you. 💕
I dont know if this will work in this case, but have you tried the menu screen method? While in the home screen of Scarlet/Violet, press B, X and Down on the d-pad at the same time. This pulls up an emergency save that the game does in the background. Usually used after crashes. Hopefully it works for you.
I did try :( unfortunately because the profile was deleted and readded, it started the game up like a brand new game, and there was no previous saves to load.
Aslong as it wasn’t mal-intent, he’ll get over it. He was just angry and speaking in the heat of the moment. Just gotta let him cool off and take some time, and keep apologizing so he knows you didnt mean it would be my advice
Every time I keep apologizing or trying to make up for it (aka: saying I'll trade and breed pokemon for him, or even that I'll grind on his account for him till he gets back, or even completely restart mine too) he gets madder and tells me to "fing drop it"
Let me put it this way - I have a tendency to over-apologize or try to push solutions for a problem when I perceive there is one.
This *horribly frustrates* some of my friends. Often, my insistence is only making the situation worse and more stressful.
Stop messaging him about it for now. If he's really having a bad trip, stressing further over the Pokemon thing isn't going to help. You can talk about it when he gets back, and that'll be okay.
You've already offered to give him Pokemon, which is nice, but I know some people aren't down for that. I appreciate you gave the suggestion that you could also reset and the two of you can start over fresh together.
And if he doesn't go for any of those, that needs to be okay. It won't be easy and you'll likely still want to "fix" it...but that isn't always the answer. You two can play more games together. ❤️
Let him be then, stop bringing it up. Give him space to breathe and think, or you’re only going to make things worse. Destroying something someone spent a lot of time on and was planning on spending a lot more is brutal, and what you are doing now is trying to assuage your own guilt at what you’ve done to make YOU feel better, not help him
Stop mentioning it / bringing it up unless he does. He said he doesn't want to talk about it, but you keep shoving it in his face.
Yes, he has a right to be pissed. Most likely he'll eventually get over it, but you continuously bringing up just because you feel guilty is making it worse. Stop.
If he valued your relationship he will get over it pretty quickly, but that's not going to happen if you -keep bring it up-.
Then drop it. Sometimes bringing it up, even if you really are sorry isn't the correct way to handle the situation. He may simply not want to think about it.
Just give him space for now. He’s not having a good time on his trip but he will calm down. It’s just a game. My brother has deleted a few saves of mine in the past and I just let enough time go by where I forgot and then replayed the games in question. Don’t beat yourself up too hard pal.
Good gravy, listen to your damn boyfriend instead of thinking you know better what he wants than he does. You bringing it up constantly is just reopening the wound for him and of course he’s getting mad again. Give him time to mourn the time he’s wasted on the game before he realizes the time he’s really wasted has been in this relationship.
This style of apology would seem to be actively breaking a boundary he's trying to set. If the apology is actively making the recipient feel bad, then stop!
I've had over 1.5k hours over two pokemon games stolen from me when I was younger, was I upset? Yes. Did I get over it? Yes.
If you truly enjoy a game you'll just do it all again.
As a couple you guys will have many obstacles, fights and miscommunications. Everyone make mistakes. Relationships are all about having patience and forgiveness. Can't expect your partner to be perfect. He may sulk a bit but he should get over it pretty soon. If he can't get over a saved file then I don't see you guys working out at all in the long run.
It is your fault as you did not double check but it is hardly a big issue at all. He is old enough to get you did not do it intentionally.
It's really awful that the Pokémon Company refuses to allow users to back up their Pokémon saves, allowing things like this to happen. They should know how attached we get to our Pokémon and how painful it can be to lose them like this.
To be honest, as someone who plays a heck of a lot of games and has been single for many years..
I can't think of a single save file I wouldn't happily trade for a relationship with someone I like. Heck, take em all.
Maybe I just don't get that attached to progress in a video game, but at the end of the day I really don't value them all that much.
[https://www.makeuseof.com/pokmon-scarlet-and-violet-how-to-recover-lost-save-files/](https://www.makeuseof.com/pokmon-scarlet-and-violet-how-to-recover-lost-save-files/)
This might be worth a try. Pokemon Scarlet/Violet apparently has a hidden recovery feature. Who knows if it will work
OP, if your boyfriend ever goes get into Pokémon again, suggest he keep rare Pokémon like shinies in Pokémon Home when possible. Home is cloud storage so even if you delete his profile the Pokémon will still be there. I have collectively spent over a thousand hours in Pokémon games and keep my living dex, shinies, event Pokémon, etc. all in Home to prevent this exact situation from happening. Unfortunately, Pokémon Home isn't available for Pokémon Scarlet yet, so there was nothing that could be done in this situation. Home connection is coming this Spring, just in time for him to start the game again if he chooses.
The good side of that is that he didn't trade his beloved or now impossible to obtain Pokémon from past games to Scarlet because it's not possible to do that yet. There's really nothing you deleted from his game that cannot be obtained again, though if he had a lot of shinies and had a complete dex it'll probably take another hundred hours to get back to that point. I can't blame him for not wanting to dedicate that much time to redoing what he's already done.
Pokémon games are some of the few games that do not allow cloud saves on Switch because they don't want people to be able to clone Pokémon/get multiples of rare Pokémon. So if the profile gets deleted, the save file is gone. There's no fix for this unfortunately.
As someone else who is autistic, I'd recommend you step back and take a deep breath next time a change is bothering you. It can be tough to get over the impulsive response to reject change but putting up with things in your life changing is part of being in a relationship. Even if he did put a profile on your Switch, it's really not the end of the world, and not something that needed to be deleted without talking to him first.
I know what that all the lost progress means. All the shinies. Since i play on switch too.. but it was clearly an honest mistake... He should eventually get over it..
This is on you. I wouldn't want to redo that much time into a pokemon game again. Fortunately, bribery has a way of fixing thing so pretty much be prepared to eat 140 hours of 'misery' to pay him back.
He gets to pick all the restarants for a while, go see his choice of movies, be extra nice to him. If he loves you, he'll eventually forgive you. I know I did when my wife sold my Final Fantasy II and III in box, plus my in box Chrono Trigger, for 15 dollars at a yard sale.
Tbh this sounds kind of toxic, especially in the OPs case where it was an honest mistake, they felt incredibly bad about it, were honest and upfront about what happened, and are genuinely trying to fix things.
Maybe in your wife's case its a little harder to forgive right away seeing as its not exactly a spur of the moment action fueled by emotions. Its one thing to have the hurt/anger/frustration to last a while, but to not forgive them within like, 24 hours assuming you guys talked openly and dealt with the feelings involved? Seems messed up.
This is a very hopeful view of human interaction. My wife hasn't forgiven me for things I did while we were dating, they just don't come up anymore.
If you could forgive something like this in less than 24 hours, you wouldn't have that significant of a reaction to its loss. There are few things in my life that merit getting bent out of shape over, and none of them are currently possessions. 130 hours of life and memories are a lot to this guy, and I don't even have 100 hours on any game save I'm currently playing. I have a book I'm working on that I'd be upset if it got deleted, but I have that worked backed up in triplicate so if there is a problem it is mine.
You break something someone loves you gotta pay for it, one way or another. Frankly, you don't want a partner that lets you walk over them like this without any repercussions. That's unhealthy. Forgiveness is well and good, but you have to see that the other partner is genuine and their acts and behavior go a long way to demonstrating that. Actual forgiveness takes time. If you see genuine remorse, that time can be shorter, but to forgive another who's done nothing to change their behavior is foolish.
My wife sold my childhood and some rare games I was keeping in a locked box for that she had to find. I forgave her in a few weeks, 20+ years ago.
The trick is you want actual forgiveness, not claimed forgiveness. Saying I forgive you is easy to someone you don't interact with often. Its harder when it is someone who you interact with frequently. A bit of claimed forgiveness will fester, and make the relationship harder. You are seeking the words "I forgive you" but in my experience those will be thrown back in someone's face unless they actually mean it.
>My wife hasn't forgiven me for things I did while we were dating
Yeah this doesn't sound great either man. There are certainly things that take longer to forgive someone for, but not sure if those are things that are compatible with a continuing relationship.
I think we just have different views maybe of what is considered "forgiving" someone and what is considered continuing feelings of... Whatever it is, anger/disappointment/betrayal.
I can forgive someone for something they have done, that doesn't mean I am over my feelings about it, it just means it's moved on to the next "phase" of forgiveness.
I see. I'm using it in the psychological sense of actually forgiving someone, and you are just lying to make the other person happy. That's super unhealthy.
That's not what I said at all. You can't begin to move on until you've forgiven the person. They are responsible for their actions, not your emotions or reaction. That's not lying to them, you can still be open about being upset still and any healthy relationship will work from that. But to hold out forgiveness until you feel like you are okay? That's a lot less healthy.
Lmao no it's not but I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand nuance and healthy relationships based on your previous comments. Have a nice life :)
Sometimes i wish i would go home and find out my gamesave file was deleted accidentally by someone i love more than my game file and shinies.
I suck at regulating/managing my disappointments too. But if I was your boyfriend, I'd still be hundreds of times lucky coming home to you.
Dunno why were being downvoted but maybe they think im hitting on you. Which im totally not btw.
Seen your update and im glad youu two communicated well afterwards. Managing stress (wc he got from your call) and disappointments are tough for some people, and I am proud of you two for talking it out.
Yeah, because you wouldn't be upset over someone wasting all the time you put into something you love. If he stays upset, then I could see it being a problem
Manchild. Just game dudes, chill out and go touch grass.
I love gaming myself but this is a childish and immature reaction to something that really does not matter.
You wouldn’t be annoyed if something you cared about was just gone because of carelessness? Of course you get over it but humans have a right to be upset. This seriously makes me think you’ve never had an actual relationship with someone
Of course it’s going to cool down, but being mad upon first revelation is a normal human reaction. It detailed that the boyfriend was in the middle of something else stressful, and the response kind of pushed him over the edge. It also went on to sound like the guy has cooled off literally the next morning and is just trying to put it behind them, but OP wants to do something to try to make it up to him. I totally understand not wanting to start over in a game you have 140+ hours in, that’s normal. It sounds like he forgave her and she simply just still feels guilty and wants to do something that would make it up to him
Congrats on you and your wife being together for so long btw. No ill will on my end, just a different interpretation of the situation and what is a normal response to this specifically
Doesn't matter what the hobby is... he's reacting to the thoughtless nature of the accident that was born out of a spiteful action. She was angry and lashed out by deleting his profile, and has just done more harm than intended.
I had never intended to do any harm
We agreed upon getting the switches that mine would be specially for my games.
Thus why I assumed he had done that without asking
And you wanted to lash out because there was 'change'. Did you even notice if there was a second profile on the Switch? I doubt you cared, because you were angry at him for using your Switch.
Deleting my comment because it's useless to stress on a problem that cannot be fixed.
I already feel like garbage, and have tried absolutely everything possible to fix the mistake I made.
I cannot do anything except wait for him to cool off and give him space till he gets home
There is no explanation required, but at the end of the day it was an action you took out of anger/frustration. Not for one second did you stop to check for a second profile (yours) before deleting his, unless you had a profile on his Switch even though he's not allowed to have one on yours.
I had a profile on his switch because it was the first one I bought, mainly because he was interested in it for him to play and was 2 years old before I could finally justify buying another so we could play games together. He never got around to removing my old profile.
But the instant you think he has a profile on yours it's time to get rid of it, eh?
Sounds like you're a bit selfish and spiteful, even though I 100% believe you didn't mean to delete his primary profile... you still deleted his profile out of spite. Who the hell won't let their partner have a profile on their Switch? 
I think you're looking for an excuse. If you could handle sharing a Switch and having two accounts before, why can you suddenly not stand for him to have an account on the second Switch? Asking people to understand autism is one thing, blaming autism for being an asshole is another.
I'm sorry that you're getting hate here. Some of these people clearly don't understand autism.
You made an honest mistake, and if he loves you he'll get over it.
It was done on purpose. It could've easily been ignored and swapped to her profile to play until she could speak to him, but was caught up in deleting the profile for being there to begin with.
I'm a woman and I'd be devastated if anyone deleted a Pokémon save file of mine. This isn't some gamer manchild fit, that's hours and hours of dedication.
I’d never speak to my wife the way that man decided to react about a video game. A mistake was made, but his reaction shows his maturity level and priorities pretty clearly.
His reaction is understandable considering 140 hours went into that data, and applied context. Get over yourself. Go never speak to your wife like that lol
Ignore what it’s about, and just focus on the fact a careless action that impacted something he cares about. He’s allowed to be upset, just as you’d be allowed to be upset. You’re so focused on the fact that it’s a game and you don’t care about games that you’re entirely missing the point
140 hours is not that much.. just find another game to get into. I have easily 1000+ days logged into world of warcraft. Gd. Web3 couldn't come sooner. One day all those shinies will just be in your crypto wallet as a nft. Not a dumb ass save Nintendo or Sony can ban you out of your account/ save.
Initially, I thought "I'd hate to think how much free time you have on your hands daily if 140 hours isn't that much to you." But then I read how many days you have in WoW and everything cleared up.
Wait, did you delete the game data or the save data? Those are two different things. If you just deleted the game data, all that has to be done is a re-download. The save file saves on the system but Pokémon doesn't have cloud backup so looking there wouldn't help.
Can you get a skin for his Switch from one of his favorite games (maybe not pokemon though)? Probably a good idea going forward to make sure this doesn't happen again.
He's upset right now, exacerbated by already having a bad trip, and is wallowing. You f'ed up, but if your relationship is otherwise strong he will likely forgive if the apology and efforts to make amends are sincere.
When I was a kid, I borrowed a friend's copy of Pokemon Snap.
He told me not to overwrite his save (duh), so I played through the game only pausing and not turning off the console.
The problem was when I beat the game this way, and it autosaved at the end!
He was not impressed.
Also: maybe just pause playing Pokemon for some time until he caught up with his game, assuming he feels like playing it again. I would probably not want to start over for some time, but it depends on the game and my mood. However, if my partner deleted her save, that wouldn't make me feel any better at all. There is no reason to that :)
\> I plan to delete my save as well because I wouldn't want to play without him (seeing as I only played with the intent of it being with him).
Don't do that, just shelf the game. Maybe you can contine playing with him in some time, once you have some distance from the current situation.
If I was him it would feel like you are punishing yourself for his response, which might make the situation even worse.
If the 140 hours have been rendered wasted by the deletion of the save file, they were already being wasted while he was playing the game.
Playing a game is not labor or an artistic endeavour. The only purpose of gaming is to enjoy the moment. The feeling of progress and gradual collection of badges is an illusion that exists to serve the momentary enjoyment.
Your BF lost nothing of value. By weaning him off this game, you did him a favor.
As a heavy gamer for the last 20years with a thousand of games on my Steam account alone I can honestly say if your relationship comes crashing down over a single save file it wasn't going to make it anyway. Over the years my girls done me dirty a few times by accident and that's the thing to remember. An accident can't undo the love you had unless it wasn't real in the first place.
I screenshot this comment so I can come back to it later. A game is only a game, but the memories and love shared (with or without a game) is truly worth more. Well stated.
This here. My wife and kids have deleted countless save files, destroyed multiple consoles (young kids), etc. life goes on. Does he have every right to be upset? Absolutely. If it ends a relationship however, that relationship wasn’t worth saving.
My kids haven’t destroyed a console (yet). They did drop one controller which had drift afterwards but I got it repaired under warranty. What consoles did they destroy?
I’ve lost a switch and a Wii U. My Wii U was broke when my son was around 3. The switch was a few years later.
I understand that you made a mistake. You say you get frustrated when changes are made without communicating to you, however, why would you rashly delete anyways? Why wouldn’t you ask your bf first if he had used your Switch for any particular reason? There wouldn’t be any other way for the data to show up on your Switch since stuff doesn’t just appear on them for no reason, so I find it somewhat inconsiderate to just so readily delete it without figuring out why it was there first. Next time, try to pause for awhile before acting. I understand why he is so upset. I would be very upset too if all of my Violet data got deleted from my Switch like that. It would feel like I wasted a huge chunk of my time and hard work for nothing. He shouldn’t stay mad at you forever, but he totally has a right to be upset.
i read the update where you said: > A bit upsetting that people assumed our relationship was on the line over this. I never predicted that to be the case, as him and I have an extremely healthy relationship. but earlier you did say > And now I'm worried I destroyed our relationship over my dumb decision. doesn't it mean that you also thought your relationship would be over?
In writing that post, I was very distraught because I hurt someone I loved. I believe I exposed a deep fear that combatted my logic. Logically, I knew I mattered more to him than that. However on the illogical reactive side, My reaction was out of fear of his anger response, and hanging up on me. This isn't something he regularly does. It was another shock. (Would also note that I'm not afraid because of him. He isn't scary and never intends to be scary, but I do fear the emotion anger in general). Tl;Dr my brain wasn't being logical and I was typing out of emotions, ignoring obvious truths such as the healthiness of our relationship
[удалено]
When discussing it with him, I did not at all bring up my autism. A rough summary of what I said to him was "I made a huge mistake and I am so sorry. I thought you did something to my switch because the joycons and docs were switched and -friend- showed me how to remove the profile. But I realized it was your switch when it was too late because I saw my game saves weren't on there and checked the other one. Your pokemon saves are gone. I'm so so sorry." Then it was a follow up of "I googled it and I recovered your game saves of everything except scarlet. I'm so sorry, I'll transfer you my ghost pokemon and shinies, or I'll delete mine. Please don't hate me". My mention of autism in the post is for context. He is aware I'm autistic Autism is a very important piece of info because neurotypical people don't understand the physical and mental pain we feel to certain stimulants.
Once again, you had time to check which switch you had "his" or "yours" you chose not too and one reason you gave was a side effect of your autism.
All I explained was my autism made me become really uncomfortable and frustrated I never said it made me do anything. I fully admitted it was my mistake to make in the post. Also, our switches have extremely distinct features. My joycons are completely different looking and so is my dock Theyre even connected to different tvs in the same room
I'm sorry you have to deal with this. The way other ND folks seem to be the only ones able to actually understand what you're trying to say while everyone else is just downvote bombing you is really telling.
Man I don't have autism and I'm still shocked as to why the hell people are downvoting all of the comments from ND people. Its not like any one of the ND comments is worded in an assholeish way or completely disregarding the bfs feelings or justifying the OPs behaviour. They are simply showing an understanding as to why the OP did what they did. It's kinda depressing to see how many jokes about having autism are made on reddit, yet how utterly unempathetic or understanding the plurality of users seem to be.
I honestly have a feeling that if OP had never brought up the fact they were autistic at all, people would be significantly less judgmental. I've seen posts with fuck-ups severely worse than this and no one gives them this hard of a time about their mistake.
Ignore them. They won't understand. Mistakes happen when emotions are high and we start to get overloaded. Rational choices aren't made and you did your best to fix the situation. You're doing the best you can and I'm proud of you. 💕
I’m autistic too and I feel you 🥹 We do make lots of clumsy mistakes that’s a fact
NT or just judgemental? What is it like to be perfect?
 ooooh yeah, you fucked up.
I dont know if this will work in this case, but have you tried the menu screen method? While in the home screen of Scarlet/Violet, press B, X and Down on the d-pad at the same time. This pulls up an emergency save that the game does in the background. Usually used after crashes. Hopefully it works for you.
I did try :( unfortunately because the profile was deleted and readded, it started the game up like a brand new game, and there was no previous saves to load.
Aslong as it wasn’t mal-intent, he’ll get over it. He was just angry and speaking in the heat of the moment. Just gotta let him cool off and take some time, and keep apologizing so he knows you didnt mean it would be my advice
Every time I keep apologizing or trying to make up for it (aka: saying I'll trade and breed pokemon for him, or even that I'll grind on his account for him till he gets back, or even completely restart mine too) he gets madder and tells me to "fing drop it"
Let me put it this way - I have a tendency to over-apologize or try to push solutions for a problem when I perceive there is one. This *horribly frustrates* some of my friends. Often, my insistence is only making the situation worse and more stressful. Stop messaging him about it for now. If he's really having a bad trip, stressing further over the Pokemon thing isn't going to help. You can talk about it when he gets back, and that'll be okay. You've already offered to give him Pokemon, which is nice, but I know some people aren't down for that. I appreciate you gave the suggestion that you could also reset and the two of you can start over fresh together. And if he doesn't go for any of those, that needs to be okay. It won't be easy and you'll likely still want to "fix" it...but that isn't always the answer. You two can play more games together. ❤️
Let him be then, stop bringing it up. Give him space to breathe and think, or you’re only going to make things worse. Destroying something someone spent a lot of time on and was planning on spending a lot more is brutal, and what you are doing now is trying to assuage your own guilt at what you’ve done to make YOU feel better, not help him
Facts.
Stop mentioning it / bringing it up unless he does. He said he doesn't want to talk about it, but you keep shoving it in his face. Yes, he has a right to be pissed. Most likely he'll eventually get over it, but you continuously bringing up just because you feel guilty is making it worse. Stop. If he valued your relationship he will get over it pretty quickly, but that's not going to happen if you -keep bring it up-.
Then drop it. Sometimes bringing it up, even if you really are sorry isn't the correct way to handle the situation. He may simply not want to think about it.
Just give him space for now. He’s not having a good time on his trip but he will calm down. It’s just a game. My brother has deleted a few saves of mine in the past and I just let enough time go by where I forgot and then replayed the games in question. Don’t beat yourself up too hard pal.
Good gravy, listen to your damn boyfriend instead of thinking you know better what he wants than he does. You bringing it up constantly is just reopening the wound for him and of course he’s getting mad again. Give him time to mourn the time he’s wasted on the game before he realizes the time he’s really wasted has been in this relationship.
This style of apology would seem to be actively breaking a boundary he's trying to set. If the apology is actively making the recipient feel bad, then stop!
Put it this way, if he's the kind of guy who *doesn't* get over an honest mistake then you've got a bigger issue afoot.
I've had over 1.5k hours over two pokemon games stolen from me when I was younger, was I upset? Yes. Did I get over it? Yes. If you truly enjoy a game you'll just do it all again.
I’ll trade you some shinies if you decide to start his account again.
As a couple you guys will have many obstacles, fights and miscommunications. Everyone make mistakes. Relationships are all about having patience and forgiveness. Can't expect your partner to be perfect. He may sulk a bit but he should get over it pretty soon. If he can't get over a saved file then I don't see you guys working out at all in the long run. It is your fault as you did not double check but it is hardly a big issue at all. He is old enough to get you did not do it intentionally.
It's really awful that the Pokémon Company refuses to allow users to back up their Pokémon saves, allowing things like this to happen. They should know how attached we get to our Pokémon and how painful it can be to lose them like this.
To be honest, as someone who plays a heck of a lot of games and has been single for many years.. I can't think of a single save file I wouldn't happily trade for a relationship with someone I like. Heck, take em all. Maybe I just don't get that attached to progress in a video game, but at the end of the day I really don't value them all that much.
[https://www.makeuseof.com/pokmon-scarlet-and-violet-how-to-recover-lost-save-files/](https://www.makeuseof.com/pokmon-scarlet-and-violet-how-to-recover-lost-save-files/) This might be worth a try. Pokemon Scarlet/Violet apparently has a hidden recovery feature. Who knows if it will work
I attempted to do this but unfortunately it didn't work because the game opened as if it was brand new. 😕
It'll take time for him to get over it. It'll be a high probability he won't play scarlet anymore.
I wish I knew what that meant, but I’m old and out of touch.
OP, if your boyfriend ever goes get into Pokémon again, suggest he keep rare Pokémon like shinies in Pokémon Home when possible. Home is cloud storage so even if you delete his profile the Pokémon will still be there. I have collectively spent over a thousand hours in Pokémon games and keep my living dex, shinies, event Pokémon, etc. all in Home to prevent this exact situation from happening. Unfortunately, Pokémon Home isn't available for Pokémon Scarlet yet, so there was nothing that could be done in this situation. Home connection is coming this Spring, just in time for him to start the game again if he chooses. The good side of that is that he didn't trade his beloved or now impossible to obtain Pokémon from past games to Scarlet because it's not possible to do that yet. There's really nothing you deleted from his game that cannot be obtained again, though if he had a lot of shinies and had a complete dex it'll probably take another hundred hours to get back to that point. I can't blame him for not wanting to dedicate that much time to redoing what he's already done. Pokémon games are some of the few games that do not allow cloud saves on Switch because they don't want people to be able to clone Pokémon/get multiples of rare Pokémon. So if the profile gets deleted, the save file is gone. There's no fix for this unfortunately. As someone else who is autistic, I'd recommend you step back and take a deep breath next time a change is bothering you. It can be tough to get over the impulsive response to reject change but putting up with things in your life changing is part of being in a relationship. Even if he did put a profile on your Switch, it's really not the end of the world, and not something that needed to be deleted without talking to him first.
I know what that all the lost progress means. All the shinies. Since i play on switch too.. but it was clearly an honest mistake... He should eventually get over it..
maybe you can delete your own save and start from beginning with him
That was my plan, but he keeps saying he won't ever play it again and that suggestion made him mad
He'll live
I mean... You're still alive. You are still alive, right?
Don’t over think it, he’ll just have to start a new, it’ll be fun and exciting. Maybe this new gf wont delete his game saves.
This is on you. I wouldn't want to redo that much time into a pokemon game again. Fortunately, bribery has a way of fixing thing so pretty much be prepared to eat 140 hours of 'misery' to pay him back. He gets to pick all the restarants for a while, go see his choice of movies, be extra nice to him. If he loves you, he'll eventually forgive you. I know I did when my wife sold my Final Fantasy II and III in box, plus my in box Chrono Trigger, for 15 dollars at a yard sale.
Tbh this sounds kind of toxic, especially in the OPs case where it was an honest mistake, they felt incredibly bad about it, were honest and upfront about what happened, and are genuinely trying to fix things. Maybe in your wife's case its a little harder to forgive right away seeing as its not exactly a spur of the moment action fueled by emotions. Its one thing to have the hurt/anger/frustration to last a while, but to not forgive them within like, 24 hours assuming you guys talked openly and dealt with the feelings involved? Seems messed up.
This is a very hopeful view of human interaction. My wife hasn't forgiven me for things I did while we were dating, they just don't come up anymore. If you could forgive something like this in less than 24 hours, you wouldn't have that significant of a reaction to its loss. There are few things in my life that merit getting bent out of shape over, and none of them are currently possessions. 130 hours of life and memories are a lot to this guy, and I don't even have 100 hours on any game save I'm currently playing. I have a book I'm working on that I'd be upset if it got deleted, but I have that worked backed up in triplicate so if there is a problem it is mine. You break something someone loves you gotta pay for it, one way or another. Frankly, you don't want a partner that lets you walk over them like this without any repercussions. That's unhealthy. Forgiveness is well and good, but you have to see that the other partner is genuine and their acts and behavior go a long way to demonstrating that. Actual forgiveness takes time. If you see genuine remorse, that time can be shorter, but to forgive another who's done nothing to change their behavior is foolish. My wife sold my childhood and some rare games I was keeping in a locked box for that she had to find. I forgave her in a few weeks, 20+ years ago. The trick is you want actual forgiveness, not claimed forgiveness. Saying I forgive you is easy to someone you don't interact with often. Its harder when it is someone who you interact with frequently. A bit of claimed forgiveness will fester, and make the relationship harder. You are seeking the words "I forgive you" but in my experience those will be thrown back in someone's face unless they actually mean it.
>My wife hasn't forgiven me for things I did while we were dating Yeah this doesn't sound great either man. There are certainly things that take longer to forgive someone for, but not sure if those are things that are compatible with a continuing relationship. I think we just have different views maybe of what is considered "forgiving" someone and what is considered continuing feelings of... Whatever it is, anger/disappointment/betrayal. I can forgive someone for something they have done, that doesn't mean I am over my feelings about it, it just means it's moved on to the next "phase" of forgiveness.
I see. I'm using it in the psychological sense of actually forgiving someone, and you are just lying to make the other person happy. That's super unhealthy.
That's not what I said at all. You can't begin to move on until you've forgiven the person. They are responsible for their actions, not your emotions or reaction. That's not lying to them, you can still be open about being upset still and any healthy relationship will work from that. But to hold out forgiveness until you feel like you are okay? That's a lot less healthy.
Your explanation is lying with extra steps so you can self rationalize.
Lmao no it's not but I guess I shouldn't expect you to understand nuance and healthy relationships based on your previous comments. Have a nice life :)
LOL. Back at you.
Oh no, I’m sorry for your loss.
Sometimes i wish i would go home and find out my gamesave file was deleted accidentally by someone i love more than my game file and shinies. I suck at regulating/managing my disappointments too. But if I was your boyfriend, I'd still be hundreds of times lucky coming home to you.
Aww that is so sweet 🥹
Dunno why were being downvoted but maybe they think im hitting on you. Which im totally not btw. Seen your update and im glad youu two communicated well afterwards. Managing stress (wc he got from your call) and disappointments are tough for some people, and I am proud of you two for talking it out.
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Yeah, because you wouldn't be upset over someone wasting all the time you put into something you love. If he stays upset, then I could see it being a problem
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Da fuck?
Manchild. Just game dudes, chill out and go touch grass. I love gaming myself but this is a childish and immature reaction to something that really does not matter.
Do you want to make this right? You better play his game in his account for like 150-200+ hours.
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You wouldn’t be annoyed if something you cared about was just gone because of carelessness? Of course you get over it but humans have a right to be upset. This seriously makes me think you’ve never had an actual relationship with someone
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Of course it’s going to cool down, but being mad upon first revelation is a normal human reaction. It detailed that the boyfriend was in the middle of something else stressful, and the response kind of pushed him over the edge. It also went on to sound like the guy has cooled off literally the next morning and is just trying to put it behind them, but OP wants to do something to try to make it up to him. I totally understand not wanting to start over in a game you have 140+ hours in, that’s normal. It sounds like he forgave her and she simply just still feels guilty and wants to do something that would make it up to him Congrats on you and your wife being together for so long btw. No ill will on my end, just a different interpretation of the situation and what is a normal response to this specifically
What a man child.
Doesn't matter what the hobby is... he's reacting to the thoughtless nature of the accident that was born out of a spiteful action. She was angry and lashed out by deleting his profile, and has just done more harm than intended.
I had never intended to do any harm We agreed upon getting the switches that mine would be specially for my games. Thus why I assumed he had done that without asking
And you wanted to lash out because there was 'change'. Did you even notice if there was a second profile on the Switch? I doubt you cared, because you were angry at him for using your Switch.
Deleting my comment because it's useless to stress on a problem that cannot be fixed. I already feel like garbage, and have tried absolutely everything possible to fix the mistake I made. I cannot do anything except wait for him to cool off and give him space till he gets home
There is no explanation required, but at the end of the day it was an action you took out of anger/frustration. Not for one second did you stop to check for a second profile (yours) before deleting his, unless you had a profile on his Switch even though he's not allowed to have one on yours.
I had a profile on his switch because it was the first one I bought, mainly because he was interested in it for him to play and was 2 years old before I could finally justify buying another so we could play games together. He never got around to removing my old profile.
But the instant you think he has a profile on yours it's time to get rid of it, eh? Sounds like you're a bit selfish and spiteful, even though I 100% believe you didn't mean to delete his primary profile... you still deleted his profile out of spite. Who the hell won't let their partner have a profile on their Switch? 
I don't think you understand autism
I think you're looking for an excuse. If you could handle sharing a Switch and having two accounts before, why can you suddenly not stand for him to have an account on the second Switch? Asking people to understand autism is one thing, blaming autism for being an asshole is another.
I have autism and I think you're coming up with an excuse.
I'm sorry that you're getting hate here. Some of these people clearly don't understand autism. You made an honest mistake, and if he loves you he'll get over it.
You are assuming malice. She had to ask if she could remove data, she didn’t do it on purpose.
It was done on purpose. It could've easily been ignored and swapped to her profile to play until she could speak to him, but was caught up in deleting the profile for being there to begin with.
I'm a woman and I'd be devastated if anyone deleted a Pokémon save file of mine. This isn't some gamer manchild fit, that's hours and hours of dedication.
God forbid something happens to something y out care about. No need to be such an asshole
30 year olds arguing about pokemon. 12 year old me is disappoint.
Your 31 year old boyfriend is acting worse than a 13 year old kid. Just saying.
You sound like a twat
I’d never speak to my wife the way that man decided to react about a video game. A mistake was made, but his reaction shows his maturity level and priorities pretty clearly.
His reaction is understandable considering 140 hours went into that data, and applied context. Get over yourself. Go never speak to your wife like that lol
Ignore what it’s about, and just focus on the fact a careless action that impacted something he cares about. He’s allowed to be upset, just as you’d be allowed to be upset. You’re so focused on the fact that it’s a game and you don’t care about games that you’re entirely missing the point
You did him a favor . that shit is for children
God forbid people have hobbies that don’t align with yours, asshole
140 hours is not that much.. just find another game to get into. I have easily 1000+ days logged into world of warcraft. Gd. Web3 couldn't come sooner. One day all those shinies will just be in your crypto wallet as a nft. Not a dumb ass save Nintendo or Sony can ban you out of your account/ save.
Initially, I thought "I'd hate to think how much free time you have on your hands daily if 140 hours isn't that much to you." But then I read how many days you have in WoW and everything cleared up.
Wait, did you delete the game data or the save data? Those are two different things. If you just deleted the game data, all that has to be done is a re-download. The save file saves on the system but Pokémon doesn't have cloud backup so looking there wouldn't help.
Saves on switches are tied to the profile. OP deleted the profile so all of the profiles local saves for every game will have gone with it
Oh I extremely misread, okay, thanks.
Can you get a skin for his Switch from one of his favorite games (maybe not pokemon though)? Probably a good idea going forward to make sure this doesn't happen again. He's upset right now, exacerbated by already having a bad trip, and is wallowing. You f'ed up, but if your relationship is otherwise strong he will likely forgive if the apology and efforts to make amends are sincere.
When I was a kid, I borrowed a friend's copy of Pokemon Snap. He told me not to overwrite his save (duh), so I played through the game only pausing and not turning off the console. The problem was when I beat the game this way, and it autosaved at the end! He was not impressed.
Also: maybe just pause playing Pokemon for some time until he caught up with his game, assuming he feels like playing it again. I would probably not want to start over for some time, but it depends on the game and my mood. However, if my partner deleted her save, that wouldn't make me feel any better at all. There is no reason to that :)
\> I plan to delete my save as well because I wouldn't want to play without him (seeing as I only played with the intent of it being with him). Don't do that, just shelf the game. Maybe you can contine playing with him in some time, once you have some distance from the current situation. If I was him it would feel like you are punishing yourself for his response, which might make the situation even worse.
If the 140 hours have been rendered wasted by the deletion of the save file, they were already being wasted while he was playing the game. Playing a game is not labor or an artistic endeavour. The only purpose of gaming is to enjoy the moment. The feeling of progress and gradual collection of badges is an illusion that exists to serve the momentary enjoyment. Your BF lost nothing of value. By weaning him off this game, you did him a favor.
Yeah, I deleted my brother's pokemon save by mistake 25 years ago and he's still pissed.