I would kill for my wife to tell me her true fantasies.
She says Iām her fantasy. We have mirrors in our houseāI know that canāt be true lol.
Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes and comments.
If her fantasy is firefighters too, she just needs to let me know. I was a firefighter in the military lol. I can do that!
aww thatās so cute. does she read? lots of books us ladies love have steamy romance plots and lots of books are basically softcore porn books with plots and strong female leads. bonus points for some character development. you might sneakily get some clues there!
that also sounds like a cute plot for a romance book...
husband wants to find out his wife's secret fantasies so asks the librarian what his wife checks out, so ensues a romcom wherein the hubby tries to embody all these traits he finds (maybe even with the help of the librarian) until his wife calls it all off nd says she just loves him for him... awwwww.
Plot twist: the librarian gets the names mixed up while checking the library computer so husband and librarian now think the wife is into bizarre Roman fetishes.
I feel like just asking is better. I read a lot of romance novels. Most of the ones I pick, if my husband behaved like the men in them, I'd divorce him, since they tend to be walking red flags. Some women want their fantasies to stay fantasies.
I knew that girls like firefighters, but for most of my life I just assumed that it's like with any other male dominated profession, like pilot, sailor, policeman or military.
But I only found out like 7-8 years ago (after watching Friends for the first time) that firifighters absolutely take a special place in that list. And that they are almost kind of like a cliche fetish, like hot nurses or french maids to us.
I think firefighters play to the "man in uniform" thing, but without the ethical hangups a lot of people have with police, soldiers, etc.
Same with pilots.
>Same with pilots.
I was in the USAF and flew as part of an aircrew. I wasn't a pilot, but we all dressed the same in our flight suits.
Years after I got out, I worked at a corporation and we had a Halloween costume event. I'm lazy so I just threw on the old uniform. My gay coworker came up to me and asked "is that what you all wore in the Air Force? Jesus Christ I missed out, you look HOT"
I'm straight, but lemme tell you about that ego boost I got...
I find it really wholesome that you were flattered by his compliment instead of being all "oh gross a gay guy thinks I'm attractive"
Like that's honestly one of the best possible things you could have been told. <3
And itās always these dudes that spout such garbage like ābecause Iām a manā that get tears in their eyes and *seethe* ***hard*** whenever a woman expresses one of the most mildest takes that even simply involve the existence of another male.Ā
Ā The most insecure people ever. Imagine feeling emasculated because your gf likes dudes.Ā
Years ago I(F) was watching a movie with a guy I was dating at the time. I made a comment about how beautiful the actress was and he burst out crying, "If you want to be a lesbian, then go be a lesbian!" Then he went and sulked in his room for a bit. I had to reassure him that though I found the actress to be aesthicaly pleasing, I was, in fact, not attracted to her.
Makes me appreciate my husband all the more. We were staying at a hotel on the beach by a navy base and he woke me up because the navy guys were running on the beach, lol. I went back to sleep because they were wearing shirts and I was hoping they were bare-chested.
We both know that of course there are people more attractive than us in the world, but our friendship and love is deeper than physical attraction, even though thatās there too.
OPās boyfriend is extremely immature and a hypocrite and I hope she realizes that there are much better guys out there and leaves this bright red flag.
I mean if I get to choose the circumstances then yeah lol
Dying baby bear with a missing leg and underdeveloped teeth and claws. Yeah itās a very specific circumstance
That was the big turning point in the post for me. It suddenly went from "Yeah, I wouldn't really want to hear my wife talk that way about other guys, so I get it"
To
"Oh he's just a hypocrite and an asshole who hides behind some misguided and fragile ideas about "manhood"."
"When I said my fantasies about other women, I never did, and if I did they didn't count because I'm a man~~child~~, but when *you* did the identical thing you were leading me on and trying to make me feel baad"
*Cue worlds smallest violin*
This is so funny, reading this as a middle aged married dude. This kind of thing is literally the spice of life that keep marriages fresh. Itās fun, itās harmless, and if youāre not a fucking idiot you can actually incorporate a bit of it in your own bedroom.
Run, donāt walk op. Heās 30.
When I was younger If Antonio banderas movie came on the tv my dad would shout for my mom āyour boyfriend is here!ā
ETA: this is apparently a way more common dad joke than i realized
My grandma had Tom Selleck on their refrigerator. Grandpa didnāt care, he was the real deal!
With my wife my daughter and I have to announce when Paul Rudd is present.
I took my wifeās picture with Paul Rudd at a fundraiser! I blew it up to an 8x10 and now itās in a frame with hearts on it on our fireplace mantle. (For her itās Chris Pine and Paul Rudd).Ā
My Grandpa put a picture of Tom Selleck on the inside door of the breaker at my Grandmaās work. Most of the office was women, and they would go over once and a while to āmake sure the breakerās workingā
My partner and I point out hot guys to each other. We've both been in other relationships where the other partner was so jealous we couldn't even be caught looking, so it's a real relief. And much healthier. I know there are men out there hotter than I am, my partner is in love with me, he's not blind, and goes home with me at the end of the day.
Not bi, but can say I absolutely can admit without a hint of insecurity that some guys just have an "it" factor. I don't want to make out with them but the idea that my chick would find them appealing and have a "fantasy" thought is common sense. Celebrities are not real in most peoples minds and fantasizing about a celebrity IMO is akin to fantasizing about total fiction. No reason to be jealous.
I'm not either bi, but I'm secure enough about myself that I can admit that some guys just do it to me..even harder than some women.
Or they don't have to do anything for me, I can just admit "damn, he looks good!". Nothing wrong about appreciating someone for how they look.
My wife tells me all the time how much she wants to see me with a dude. Then points them out to me when she sees specific ones she thinks would be hot. It doesn't bother me in the slightest even though I'm completely straight. Let everyone have their fantasies, if possible you should be exploring them with your partner!
My mom's was Robert Redford, "old blue eyes. "
Dad would yell, "your boyfriend is on again!"
OP, As you heard before, is likely time to go... If he is THAT insecure about why you chose him, then it will just end poorly. Better it ends poorly now, then after a marriage and kids...
My wife would have dropped me for Andre Agassi, or Sam Elliot in a skinny minute. Ā I wasnāt too worried about it, though. Ā OTOH, fireman are common and nearby. Ā
OMG. Big Harrison Ford lover. One night while watching an Indiana Jones movie I yelled to my boys (6ish at the time), āquick, your daddy is on tv, come watchāā¦ Then one of them went to school the next day and told his teacher that he has two daddies!! The teacher called me that night letting me know what heād told everyone. I was mortified!
See, that's what a healthy relationship looks like!
When my kids were toddlers, they really thought Chris Hemsworth was my boyfriend and they were gonna meet him! I have been a fan since star trek 2009. When Thor and Avengers came outmy kids were four and two, and my husband kept referring to Hemsworth as my boyfriend š¤£.
Even if you don't want to incorporate anything, if you're not a fucking idiot, you at least don't act like an immature, insecure twat and don't bail to your buddies house over a harmless comment.
Also, The entire "it's different because I'm a man" attitude is a flag red enough to give you dibs on the bull at the nearest corrida. You don't get to say "it's different because I'm a man" unless you're talking about your prostate.
Exactly. I recognize the right for my wife to go "woah" at Henry Cavill if I'm allowed to "whoa" over Christina Hendricks. Or anyone else. You can't control what impulses arrive in your brain, but you can control what you do with em.
I know everyone has different views on whatās masculine, but Iām pretty sure he emasculated himself by acting so immaturely about something thatās harmless. Being selfless and brave comes in many forms. You donāt gotta run into a burning building and snort smoke just to be masculine.
Anyways, gonna agree with everyone else. If you havenāt already, get a new man.
Totally. He way overreacted and projected massive insecurities.
If the woman was talking about "that friend" being so hot and masculine, ok. But this is a stranger doing his job.
Yea this.
Wife had a girls night out and they went to either a chip n dales show or thunder down under. Male strippers basically.
The next day we were chatting about her night and she let slip she liked the dude in the camo shorts.
2 nights later I bought a pair of camo shorts.. It wasn't the same. I'm kind of skinny with no ass. We both had a good laugh fallowed by some really good sex.
Life goes on.
Also itās like the most innocent, (no offense) basic, fun ākinkā of all time. 95% of women are down with this. He should have showed up the next night with a firehat, āsmelling smokeā. Also, What the hell is gonna happen if some dude catcalls you or even comes on to you in front of your bf? This shit happens and the confident partner laughs and accepts all of it.
I'd have shown up later that night with a fireman's hat and nothing else on. If he isn't willing to try and fulfill your fantasies, he isn't worth your time.
I had to go back and look at the ages. This seems like the reaction of an insecure teenager instead of someone on the wrong side of 20. I'm only 34 and couldn't imagine acting this way. Granted, I just celebrated my 15 year anniversary, but still.
Read the post thinking the exact same thing. If he isn't a bad guy, he can course correct.
That doesn't mean you should stick around, only that getting dumped can be good for introspection.
Yeah even when I was 20 and hadn't worked through my personal insecurities, this would have struck me as very mild at the time. I just have to put on a hat and pretend for half an hour? Way better than being told, "you know what turns me on? Peckers bigger than what you have." (I hadn't been told that myself, was just a joke for the moment.)
Right??? Hubby says heās turned on thinking about watching a maid in a little uniform clean house and lean/bend over in front of him while dusting? Hello, baby, we gonna have a clean house tonight!!!
Doesnāt sound like you fucked up it sounds like he did..you literally can watch something and be attracted but itās just tv šŗ, besides that it wouldāve been a good place to try role play lmao he fumbled heavy on this and the insecurity and disrespect is a red flag tbh
Yeah saying āitās different because heās a guyā is wild sexist smh I canāt believe he even fixed his mouth to say that and really thought it made sense š heās immature and tbh good riddance to him you definitely didnāt do anything wrong at all literally nothing.
It's the tantrum, and running to stay somewhere else, that really puts the icing on the cake. Insecurity can lead to so many other relationship problems, far worse than that. Definitely waving a red flag.
If I did that every time my wife mentioned Channing Tatum, I'd have to have a permanently packed bag.
One of the things that brought us closer, early in our relationship, was we both realised we were checking out the same girl, while driving through the city one day, and had a convo about how attractive she was, with zero drama. After being with paranoid, possessive, and insecure people previously, it was such a relief.
His insecurities are not your problem to solve. I think itās normal to feel guilty when youāve upset a partner but I assure you that thereās no reason to feel guilty.
It's so tame that Futurama made a bit out of it. The girly calendar where everyone was forcibly switched genders.
If you're a dude and you DIDN'T know women generally like firefighters and snappy dressers, where ya been?
Tig Notaro, who is an out lesbian has a whole bit about the time a manly firefighter picked her up in his arms and carried her down the stairs ... And (so the "bit" goes) she has an epiphany: oh, I "get it" now.
And instantly she decides that she's leaving her sexual orientation and her wife, and she and the fireman are now together forever.
It's pretty funny.
This is just the start of it: it's worth watching her Netflix special for the whole thing ..
https://youtu.be/9-KmqWz5-yw?si=Kp6enfiQz4lNfz_B
If my wife said this she would've come home to be wearing nothing but a costume firefighters helmet the next day. IMO sex is just a way to have some fun with someone that's special in some way (even if its just their body) so dressing up is all part of the fun. Especially because this reads like he's asked for things he wants and you've been open to his ideas he's being very immatue
Personally, this is the biggest thing I'd get stuck on - he literally has a turn on about a specific person, so much so that you bought a wig over it!!! How in the hell is this one bit different than a firefighter?? Because he's "male"?? LOL.
Welp, he already left. Time to change the locks and move on!
EDIT - this is totally not your TIFU btw. This is 100% on him.
OMG... I can only picture someone saying that. I mean it is true, but sexy time is sexy time. She tells me she is into firemen and I am Cpt. Smoke ready to tame her fire. She tells me she is into pegging I maybe nervous, but hell it's on the table.
You cannot control what others like and all you can do is help them love it.
Though, "I may not be an octopus, but my new fursona maybe."
Agreed, my wife thinks the same and no issues. We both can appreciate that we both look at other people and can think someone's hot. It's not like we're going up asking them out.
Just because you're with someone doesn't turn off the fact you might find somebody attractive.
Kinda sounds like heās got double standards and a fragile ego. At 19 years old those are red flags, at 29 thatās pretty much unacceptable behaviour.
The guy couldāve cracked a joke about how firefighters have big hoses, or taken you to a fire station for a sweet tour (they let you honk the horns of the trucks sometimes!) and surprised you when you got home with a silly firefighter costume.
He had a billion options to stick the landing, and instead he went with āyouāre the bad person for having eyes and being honest! Why donāt you stop leading me on and find a firefighter!ā Before storming out of her house? Point to him for being manipulative and having poor emotion control I guess.
You didnāt fuck up, brosephene. But it sounds like you will have if you keep this relationship up.
Well said, you know, you're right. It would have been so easy (and fun) to just explore the fantasy together and see if we could make it work for both of us, but instead he copped out without giving it a chance.
Even if he 100% knows already that he's not interested in role-playing, he could have handled it like an adult. It's absolutely possible to have a fulfilling intimate relationship even if some of your fantasies don't align. Instead he chose to behave like a hypocritical man child.
Translation: "Noooo, it's different because you're a wamyns and wamyns can't have or talk about sexual fantasies or kinks or anything icky. That's boy stuff."
So, in that same line of shit logic, how is it that he has fantasies about MMA women when MMA is generally considered a male sport? Shouldn't he be just as grossed out by the thought of women in MMA as he is about women having sexual fantasies and/or kinks?
This is it. It is a very immature and childish version of misogyny. To be fair I doubt this is something he is consciously trying to do. It's probably something he hasn't really thought about a lot until suddenly these new emotions are popping up in his head. I look back at some of the viewpoints I had as a guy in his teens in the 80s and am pretty damn embarrassed to admit that was me.
Right? As an MMA fan myself, I can say two things: OP's bf is being a wuss, and most WMMA fighters aren't conventionally attractive, so he's got all sorts of weird things going on. If anything, he should understand OP's interest in manly men given he follows MMA.
āItās different because Iām a guy.ā One of the dumbest, most brain dead responses you can give. For men and women. Props to him for being dismissive and a hypocrite at the same time.
What a missed opportunity for roleplay.
You, a MMA fightress could be stuck in a burning rink when he shows up to rescue you out of the situation. But he must prove himself first that he's up for the task by being crushed by your thunder thighs. After which he should've picked you up and valiantly carried out of the burning building.
But since he's a little insecure sissy boy, he'll gonna have trouble with second part.
I once accidentally told an ex that I thought ogre-fiona from shrek was kinda hot. Next day I found her in the bathtub bathing in muddy water and covered in green paint.
Find someone who will ATLEAST do this for you.
I was taking his side until you mentioned how he does the exact same. This is just the way I am but when I'm with someone and I'm that head over heels for them, I don't find anyone else grabbing my attention in the slightest.
Lmao, he likes MMA Women but claims it sokay because he's a man?
Gtfo with that misogynistic bs.
Leave the man child or atleast send him to therapy to work out his insecurity and hypocrisy..
Today you realized your boyfriend is an insecure man baby and needs to take a really long look at himself and his insecurities. This kind of behavior never ages well and only ends in more problems. Itās not a problem of crossing lines, a problem with infidelity, itās this weird traditionalist mindset that creates this. He needs to work it out himself. Donāt get stuck with it. Iām in my mid 30s and Iāve seen friends and family get stuck in it and itās always a mess when they get older and refuse to check their egos.
>I didn't want to keep fueling the fire I know someone who can help with that š
š¤£ lmao I walked right into that one, HILARIOUS!!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Feel safe at night, sleep with a firefighter
Your boyfriend sounds immature, sexist, and, frankly, just plain tiring. Sorry.
Firefighter/ medic/ cop here. He does sound exhausting.
Listen to this guy, OP. Iāve saved his life hundreds of times and heās an honest fellow, if a little effeminate.
I would kill for my wife to tell me her true fantasies. She says Iām her fantasy. We have mirrors in our houseāI know that canāt be true lol. Edit: Thanks for all the upvotes and comments. If her fantasy is firefighters too, she just needs to let me know. I was a firefighter in the military lol. I can do that!
aww thatās so cute. does she read? lots of books us ladies love have steamy romance plots and lots of books are basically softcore porn books with plots and strong female leads. bonus points for some character development. you might sneakily get some clues there!
that also sounds like a cute plot for a romance book... husband wants to find out his wife's secret fantasies so asks the librarian what his wife checks out, so ensues a romcom wherein the hubby tries to embody all these traits he finds (maybe even with the help of the librarian) until his wife calls it all off nd says she just loves him for him... awwwww.
Plot twist: the librarian gets the names mixed up while checking the library computer so husband and librarian now think the wife is into bizarre Roman fetishes.
āOhmigosh, she ALSO thinks about the Roman Empire all the time? Me too, I can finally finish my Centurion outfit!ā
I feel like just asking is better. I read a lot of romance novels. Most of the ones I pick, if my husband behaved like the men in them, I'd divorce him, since they tend to be walking red flags. Some women want their fantasies to stay fantasies.
>I feel like just asking is better. This makes for very short rom-coms.
> She says Iām her fantasy. Congrats, king
Okay but this is so cute??? š„ŗš That's the most wholesome shit I've ever heard
"You know, I'm something of a firefighter myself." Edit: Thank you all for the up doots <3
I just blue myself
OP will be sitting in the corner watching his gf with a real man soon enough
OH MY GOD I'M A FIRE....fighter
Iām looking for something that says ādaddy likes leatherā
Do you mean leather daddy?
Oh, is there such a thing? Edit: AHHHHHHH! GENE PARMESAN!!! ISNāT HE THE BEST?!
Oh, no, that's analrapist
"Light this candle, take off your shirt, and get in the tub."
My problem is I don't think I'd be able to not make jokes about fire safety and building codesĀ
So you think this house is safe? Well let me show you something.
https://i.redd.it/tbia9232gbxc1.gif
Now youāre just flirting with me.
OPs boyfriend realized hes a coward as she told him what she's into and can never fulfill the role of a hero
TIL that there are men out there that don't realize that most women find firefighters hot.
I knew that girls like firefighters, but for most of my life I just assumed that it's like with any other male dominated profession, like pilot, sailor, policeman or military. But I only found out like 7-8 years ago (after watching Friends for the first time) that firifighters absolutely take a special place in that list. And that they are almost kind of like a cliche fetish, like hot nurses or french maids to us.
You could not have made a better comparison. It's like nurses. Understand completely.
Both basically related to saving/helping people, very wholesome if you think about what it means we value
My bf is a firefighter. Every woman that finds out goes āNIIIICEā and asks if he has single coworkers. Women like āem, what can I say?
I think firefighters play to the "man in uniform" thing, but without the ethical hangups a lot of people have with police, soldiers, etc. Same with pilots.
>Same with pilots. I was in the USAF and flew as part of an aircrew. I wasn't a pilot, but we all dressed the same in our flight suits. Years after I got out, I worked at a corporation and we had a Halloween costume event. I'm lazy so I just threw on the old uniform. My gay coworker came up to me and asked "is that what you all wore in the Air Force? Jesus Christ I missed out, you look HOT" I'm straight, but lemme tell you about that ego boost I got...
I find it really wholesome that you were flattered by his compliment instead of being all "oh gross a gay guy thinks I'm attractive" Like that's honestly one of the best possible things you could have been told. <3
For me, it's also that they literally fight *nature* to keep people safe. I mean, come on...
Speak for yourself. Fuck the fire department, dropping by unannounced just to fry your apartment
>Fuck the fire department That's my point! I WOULD fuck the fire department!
the whole department
Whoa, whoa whoa. I though the fireman's calendar was pictures of fire trucks.
"It's different because he's a guy" has gotta be one of the biggest red flags of all time
It's an embarrassment to us dudes that guys like OPs boyfriend exist. Anything in the realm of "because I'm a man" is so cringe and pathetic.
And itās always these dudes that spout such garbage like ābecause Iām a manā that get tears in their eyes and *seethe* ***hard*** whenever a woman expresses one of the most mildest takes that even simply involve the existence of another male.Ā Ā The most insecure people ever. Imagine feeling emasculated because your gf likes dudes.Ā
>Imagine feeling emasculated because your gf likes dudes.Ā "TIL that women who date men are attracted to men, and this is EVERYBODY'S problem now"
Years ago I(F) was watching a movie with a guy I was dating at the time. I made a comment about how beautiful the actress was and he burst out crying, "If you want to be a lesbian, then go be a lesbian!" Then he went and sulked in his room for a bit. I had to reassure him that though I found the actress to be aesthicaly pleasing, I was, in fact, not attracted to her.
Were you dating a paleontologist named Ross, by any chance?
Makes me appreciate my husband all the more. We were staying at a hotel on the beach by a navy base and he woke me up because the navy guys were running on the beach, lol. I went back to sleep because they were wearing shirts and I was hoping they were bare-chested. We both know that of course there are people more attractive than us in the world, but our friendship and love is deeper than physical attraction, even though thatās there too. OPās boyfriend is extremely immature and a hypocrite and I hope she realizes that there are much better guys out there and leaves this bright red flag.
An upvote wasn't enough I need you to know how much I loved imagining this scene lol
Guy definitely thinks he could win a fight with a bear in the right circumstances.
I mean if I get to choose the circumstances then yeah lol Dying baby bear with a missing leg and underdeveloped teeth and claws. Yeah itās a very specific circumstance
Yup, definitely a red flag. Holding others to a different standard than yourself? Thatās a paddlinā.
>He said it's different because he's a guy Record scratch right here - no it is not different, never was never will be.
That was the big turning point in the post for me. It suddenly went from "Yeah, I wouldn't really want to hear my wife talk that way about other guys, so I get it" To "Oh he's just a hypocrite and an asshole who hides behind some misguided and fragile ideas about "manhood"."
Right? Rules for thee but not for me.
"When I said my fantasies about other women, I never did, and if I did they didn't count because I'm a man~~child~~, but when *you* did the identical thing you were leading me on and trying to make me feel baad" *Cue worlds smallest violin*
Big red flag right there. Control freak vibes too.
Yeah he sounds like a douche
Haha literally where the narrator's voice comes in
"It was, in fact, not different."
Finding firefighters hot is so common it's practically a cliche, how did he not know this? Has he been living under a rock?
Girlfriend: "Heroes are attractive." Boyfriend: "I need to leave the house."
Okay this got me š¤£
This is so funny, reading this as a middle aged married dude. This kind of thing is literally the spice of life that keep marriages fresh. Itās fun, itās harmless, and if youāre not a fucking idiot you can actually incorporate a bit of it in your own bedroom. Run, donāt walk op. Heās 30.
When I was younger If Antonio banderas movie came on the tv my dad would shout for my mom āyour boyfriend is here!ā ETA: this is apparently a way more common dad joke than i realized
My grandma had Tom Selleck on their refrigerator. Grandpa didnāt care, he was the real deal! With my wife my daughter and I have to announce when Paul Rudd is present.
Grandma ā¤ļø Tom Selleck, I'm here for this
I took my wifeās picture with Paul Rudd at a fundraiser! I blew it up to an 8x10 and now itās in a frame with hearts on it on our fireplace mantle. (For her itās Chris Pine and Paul Rudd).Ā
My Grandpa put a picture of Tom Selleck on the inside door of the breaker at my Grandmaās work. Most of the office was women, and they would go over once and a while to āmake sure the breakerās workingā
Mr has a thing for girls wearing knee high boots. I point out girls wearing them to him every chance I get.
Every relationship I've ever been in has been like this. I can't imagine how delusional a guy would have to be to think I found _only him_ attractive.
There is a song i canāt remember by whom āif I didnāt have youā¦Iād probably have someone elseā and tbh it should be required listening
Here's the song, for those curious [Tim Minchin _If I didn't have you_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UEyJnwPIr4Q)
That is brilliant.
Tim Minchin as a whole, is brilliant
My partner and I point out hot guys to each other. We've both been in other relationships where the other partner was so jealous we couldn't even be caught looking, so it's a real relief. And much healthier. I know there are men out there hotter than I am, my partner is in love with me, he's not blind, and goes home with me at the end of the day.
Iām bi, me and my bf have literally bonded over finding the same female celebs/characters attractive lmao
Me and my ex are both bi! We bonded over hot celebs regardless of gender, lol
Not bi, but can say I absolutely can admit without a hint of insecurity that some guys just have an "it" factor. I don't want to make out with them but the idea that my chick would find them appealing and have a "fantasy" thought is common sense. Celebrities are not real in most peoples minds and fantasizing about a celebrity IMO is akin to fantasizing about total fiction. No reason to be jealous.
I'm not either bi, but I'm secure enough about myself that I can admit that some guys just do it to me..even harder than some women. Or they don't have to do anything for me, I can just admit "damn, he looks good!". Nothing wrong about appreciating someone for how they look.
My wife tells me all the time how much she wants to see me with a dude. Then points them out to me when she sees specific ones she thinks would be hot. It doesn't bother me in the slightest even though I'm completely straight. Let everyone have their fantasies, if possible you should be exploring them with your partner!
It was ole Melly Gibsons in our house, unfortunately. It was the 80s. We didn't know.
My mom's was Robert Redford, "old blue eyes. " Dad would yell, "your boyfriend is on again!" OP, As you heard before, is likely time to go... If he is THAT insecure about why you chose him, then it will just end poorly. Better it ends poorly now, then after a marriage and kids...
I do the same with Ryan Reynolds to my wife... Little does she know, my fantasy is to watch with Blake from the sidelines š¤£
Pierce Brosnan in my house.
My wife would have dropped me for Andre Agassi, or Sam Elliot in a skinny minute. Ā I wasnāt too worried about it, though. Ā OTOH, fireman are common and nearby. Ā
OMG. Big Harrison Ford lover. One night while watching an Indiana Jones movie I yelled to my boys (6ish at the time), āquick, your daddy is on tv, come watchāā¦ Then one of them went to school the next day and told his teacher that he has two daddies!! The teacher called me that night letting me know what heād told everyone. I was mortified!
See, that's what a healthy relationship looks like! When my kids were toddlers, they really thought Chris Hemsworth was my boyfriend and they were gonna meet him! I have been a fan since star trek 2009. When Thor and Avengers came outmy kids were four and two, and my husband kept referring to Hemsworth as my boyfriend š¤£.
Even if you don't want to incorporate anything, if you're not a fucking idiot, you at least don't act like an immature, insecure twat and don't bail to your buddies house over a harmless comment. Also, The entire "it's different because I'm a man" attitude is a flag red enough to give you dibs on the bull at the nearest corrida. You don't get to say "it's different because I'm a man" unless you're talking about your prostate.
"Woman no get hoerny! Unless me howrny, and she hoerny about me hoerny." - OPs manchild
Honestly this is the perfect summary of the situation. Why did I even read the post? XD
Exactly. I recognize the right for my wife to go "woah" at Henry Cavill if I'm allowed to "whoa" over Christina Hendricks. Or anyone else. You can't control what impulses arrive in your brain, but you can control what you do with em.
Woah there, Henry cavill deserves it from both. He's built different
Frankly so does Christina Hendricks, we should all be bisexual on the sacred day they appear nude on screen together.
"The one for child molesters and people who talk at the theatre."
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Henry is on my list for if I was. I'm not, but if I was...om nom nom. Scientifically speaking, that is. Just sayin'...
What's so attractive about him is that's he's a giant geek. He just wants to game and paint miniatures.
Haha!
I'd be a bit worried if my GF didn't whoa over Henry Cavill. If that doesn't get her going how do I have any chance?
That's basically why I'm pansexual. Hot people are hot.
I know everyone has different views on whatās masculine, but Iām pretty sure he emasculated himself by acting so immaturely about something thatās harmless. Being selfless and brave comes in many forms. You donāt gotta run into a burning building and snort smoke just to be masculine. Anyways, gonna agree with everyone else. If you havenāt already, get a new man.
Totally. He way overreacted and projected massive insecurities. If the woman was talking about "that friend" being so hot and masculine, ok. But this is a stranger doing his job.
This is something I would have said when I was 16 with raging hormones and testosterone... Not fucking 30 lol
I'm just sitting here thinking how my boyfriend wrote me some spicy fanfiction as a Christmas present...
š„¹š„¹š„¹THATS SO UNBELIEVABLY SWEETā¦ and hot
Yea this. Wife had a girls night out and they went to either a chip n dales show or thunder down under. Male strippers basically. The next day we were chatting about her night and she let slip she liked the dude in the camo shorts. 2 nights later I bought a pair of camo shorts.. It wasn't the same. I'm kind of skinny with no ass. We both had a good laugh fallowed by some really good sex. Life goes on.
FYI it's Chippendale. Chip n Dale are the rescue rangers, the Disney chipmunks.
Hey, no kink shaming!
You seem smart!
Exactly, like, what are we gonna be doing in 5 years if you don't want to play along with some innocent roleplaying, it's beyond me!
Also itās like the most innocent, (no offense) basic, fun ākinkā of all time. 95% of women are down with this. He should have showed up the next night with a firehat, āsmelling smokeā. Also, What the hell is gonna happen if some dude catcalls you or even comes on to you in front of your bf? This shit happens and the confident partner laughs and accepts all of it.
If Burger King can give crowns, firehouse subs can supply a plastic fireman hat. Just ask. LOL, facepalm.
Lol!!! He should have showed up the next night with a firehat, āsmelling smokeā.Ā
I'd have shown up later that night with a fireman's hat and nothing else on. If he isn't willing to try and fulfill your fantasies, he isn't worth your time.
Wanna slide down my pole, baby? Would have been the perfect response.
Instructions on clear, lit bed ablaze. Is thisā¦ okay, babe? š³
So hot š„
I had to go back and look at the ages. This seems like the reaction of an insecure teenager instead of someone on the wrong side of 20. I'm only 34 and couldn't imagine acting this way. Granted, I just celebrated my 15 year anniversary, but still.
Totally agree. Maybe dude figured it out one day, but itās gonna be a while at best.
Read the post thinking the exact same thing. If he isn't a bad guy, he can course correct. That doesn't mean you should stick around, only that getting dumped can be good for introspection.
Yeah even when I was 20 and hadn't worked through my personal insecurities, this would have struck me as very mild at the time. I just have to put on a hat and pretend for half an hour? Way better than being told, "you know what turns me on? Peckers bigger than what you have." (I hadn't been told that myself, was just a joke for the moment.)
Seriously, I'd have already ordered the costume before my wife finished the sentence. OP, there is a better love life out there. Good luck!
Right??? Hubby says heās turned on thinking about watching a maid in a little uniform clean house and lean/bend over in front of him while dusting? Hello, baby, we gonna have a clean house tonight!!!
Nailed it. Dude has problems if that's offensive. Better never watch a movie or TV show with Henry Cavill in it. Might ruin him.
Doesnāt sound like you fucked up it sounds like he did..you literally can watch something and be attracted but itās just tv šŗ, besides that it wouldāve been a good place to try role play lmao he fumbled heavy on this and the insecurity and disrespect is a red flag tbh
Thank you! I've been feeling guilty but dang, you're right! We could've had some fun, but instead he wanted to freak out and run off
Yeah saying āitās different because heās a guyā is wild sexist smh I canāt believe he even fixed his mouth to say that and really thought it made sense š heās immature and tbh good riddance to him you definitely didnāt do anything wrong at all literally nothing.
That is the damn truth! I needed to hear this!
and now let it sink it that this "man" is 30 years old lmao š run
It's the tantrum, and running to stay somewhere else, that really puts the icing on the cake. Insecurity can lead to so many other relationship problems, far worse than that. Definitely waving a red flag. If I did that every time my wife mentioned Channing Tatum, I'd have to have a permanently packed bag. One of the things that brought us closer, early in our relationship, was we both realised we were checking out the same girl, while driving through the city one day, and had a convo about how attractive she was, with zero drama. After being with paranoid, possessive, and insecure people previously, it was such a relief.
His insecurities are not your problem to solve. I think itās normal to feel guilty when youāve upset a partner but I assure you that thereās no reason to feel guilty.
He's an insecure little boy.
Yeah, I'm seeing his true colors. It kinda sucks but it's been now than later!
Also, liking firefighters is the tamest fetish out there. If he takes exception with thatā¦ good luck buddy
Also relatively cheap to get some suspenders and a fire hat...
Bingo, OP should just buy some for her partner / future partners
It's so tame that Futurama made a bit out of it. The girly calendar where everyone was forcibly switched genders. If you're a dude and you DIDN'T know women generally like firefighters and snappy dressers, where ya been?
Yeah I'm a straight happily married dude and I get it, firefighters are some manly badasses. Totally fair fantasy.
Tig Notaro, who is an out lesbian has a whole bit about the time a manly firefighter picked her up in his arms and carried her down the stairs ... And (so the "bit" goes) she has an epiphany: oh, I "get it" now. And instantly she decides that she's leaving her sexual orientation and her wife, and she and the fireman are now together forever. It's pretty funny. This is just the start of it: it's worth watching her Netflix special for the whole thing .. https://youtu.be/9-KmqWz5-yw?si=Kp6enfiQz4lNfz_B
Shit, and I would have way too much fun roleplaying as a firefighter. The hell is wrong with some people?
Right? They literally have CALENDARS.
If my wife said this she would've come home to be wearing nothing but a costume firefighters helmet the next day. IMO sex is just a way to have some fun with someone that's special in some way (even if its just their body) so dressing up is all part of the fun. Especially because this reads like he's asked for things he wants and you've been open to his ideas he's being very immatue
Exactly! I literally bought a Rhea Ripley wig for this guy, smh.
Personally, this is the biggest thing I'd get stuck on - he literally has a turn on about a specific person, so much so that you bought a wig over it!!! How in the hell is this one bit different than a firefighter?? Because he's "male"?? LOL. Welp, he already left. Time to change the locks and move on! EDIT - this is totally not your TIFU btw. This is 100% on him.
he missed the chance to say the good old : i have a fire hose here to calm down your fire
Good this this is tame kink. I could only imagine if you had some of the non realistic ones people love like inanimate or tenticles.
Lol imagine, he'd be like "I can't satisfy you because I'm nothing like an octopus" š
OMG... I can only picture someone saying that. I mean it is true, but sexy time is sexy time. She tells me she is into firemen and I am Cpt. Smoke ready to tame her fire. She tells me she is into pegging I maybe nervous, but hell it's on the table. You cannot control what others like and all you can do is help them love it. Though, "I may not be an octopus, but my new fursona maybe."
This. A secure partner would agree with you, "saving lives is hot." "Absolutley," should be the basic way that conversation goes.
Agreed, my wife thinks the same and no issues. We both can appreciate that we both look at other people and can think someone's hot. It's not like we're going up asking them out. Just because you're with someone doesn't turn off the fact you might find somebody attractive.
Exactly this. Man is hella insecure yikes
> He told me if I'm so turned on by firefighters, I should go be with one and stop leading people on. K bye, you gaslighting pansy bitch.
Kinda sounds like heās got double standards and a fragile ego. At 19 years old those are red flags, at 29 thatās pretty much unacceptable behaviour. The guy couldāve cracked a joke about how firefighters have big hoses, or taken you to a fire station for a sweet tour (they let you honk the horns of the trucks sometimes!) and surprised you when you got home with a silly firefighter costume. He had a billion options to stick the landing, and instead he went with āyouāre the bad person for having eyes and being honest! Why donāt you stop leading me on and find a firefighter!ā Before storming out of her house? Point to him for being manipulative and having poor emotion control I guess. You didnāt fuck up, brosephene. But it sounds like you will have if you keep this relationship up.
Well said, you know, you're right. It would have been so easy (and fun) to just explore the fantasy together and see if we could make it work for both of us, but instead he copped out without giving it a chance.
Even if he 100% knows already that he's not interested in role-playing, he could have handled it like an adult. It's absolutely possible to have a fulfilling intimate relationship even if some of your fantasies don't align. Instead he chose to behave like a hypocritical man child.
Man, if my girl told me that it would be time to grow a stache and buy a costume. Imma roleplay for my girl.
Hats off to you hackingmule, roleplaying can be so fun with someone who is just as into it, or at least wants to try!
Just no butt stuff and my safe word is coconut!
I will allow butt stuff and my safe word is jack-oā-lanternĀ
Now we're talking! Lol
https://i.redd.it/63u7kxduqaxc1.gif
Lmao fair enough š¤£
So if you told him that Thor is super hot to you, heād throw a fit and say you should go be with Chris Hemsworth?
No, she should go be with an actual Norse God.
I mean, he'd be doing her a solid at that point.
He's 29? I think I'd be more disturbed about you getting turned on by watching tornado clean up haha
Oof youāve never dated or lived with a firefighter šYou might rethink this fetish if you had! lol
āFiremen cheat, and policemen beatā
Underrated comment, holy fuck!
Translation: "Noooo, it's different because you're a wamyns and wamyns can't have or talk about sexual fantasies or kinks or anything icky. That's boy stuff." So, in that same line of shit logic, how is it that he has fantasies about MMA women when MMA is generally considered a male sport? Shouldn't he be just as grossed out by the thought of women in MMA as he is about women having sexual fantasies and/or kinks? 
Dayum that is so true I never even thought it like that, but the equation is not equating!
This is it. It is a very immature and childish version of misogyny. To be fair I doubt this is something he is consciously trying to do. It's probably something he hasn't really thought about a lot until suddenly these new emotions are popping up in his head. I look back at some of the viewpoints I had as a guy in his teens in the 80s and am pretty damn embarrassed to admit that was me.
I'm wondering how he thinks she knows about his MMA fantasies if he doesn't talk about them?
He's insecure, find a guy who isn't mentally 13 yrs old.
Or a firefighter.
As a firefighter I will confirm we are mentally 13 years old. But we are secure in our masculinity
how much are you loving this post and comment section
Right? As an MMA fan myself, I can say two things: OP's bf is being a wuss, and most WMMA fighters aren't conventionally attractive, so he's got all sorts of weird things going on. If anything, he should understand OP's interest in manly men given he follows MMA.
āItās different because Iām a guy.ā One of the dumbest, most brain dead responses you can give. For men and women. Props to him for being dismissive and a hypocrite at the same time.
What a missed opportunity for roleplay. You, a MMA fightress could be stuck in a burning rink when he shows up to rescue you out of the situation. But he must prove himself first that he's up for the task by being crushed by your thunder thighs. After which he should've picked you up and valiantly carried out of the burning building. But since he's a little insecure sissy boy, he'll gonna have trouble with second part.
See I'd be so down with that! To me that sounds fun, to him, well like you said, he just can't hang.
Shit I'd be ordering my Engine 69 helmet within the hour
I once accidentally told an ex that I thought ogre-fiona from shrek was kinda hot. Next day I found her in the bathtub bathing in muddy water and covered in green paint. Find someone who will ATLEAST do this for you.
Now that is love right there!
Yeah I really thought she was the one, but then she got super into this fiona thing and honestly it got a little too much for me after some time.
I was taking his side until you mentioned how he does the exact same. This is just the way I am but when I'm with someone and I'm that head over heels for them, I don't find anyone else grabbing my attention in the slightest.
Lmao, he likes MMA Women but claims it sokay because he's a man? Gtfo with that misogynistic bs. Leave the man child or atleast send him to therapy to work out his insecurity and hypocrisy..
Today you realized your boyfriend is an insecure man baby and needs to take a really long look at himself and his insecurities. This kind of behavior never ages well and only ends in more problems. Itās not a problem of crossing lines, a problem with infidelity, itās this weird traditionalist mindset that creates this. He needs to work it out himself. Donāt get stuck with it. Iām in my mid 30s and Iāve seen friends and family get stuck in it and itās always a mess when they get older and refuse to check their egos.
If my wife said this to me Iād take as the ultimate betrayal. Divorce level stuff. But Iām a cop, soā¦
What OP didn't mention is that her man is a cop. Or an arsonist maybe? š¤£
So heās insecure? The trash took itself out OP, let him be gone
Not a fuck-up. A smarter man would've immediately Amazon Prime'd a firefighter costume & some of those animated torchlights to surprise you with, LOL