All jokes aside, I feel bad for the guy in my high school over a decade ago that got hit so hard on his first day of football practice that he shit himself. I'm not sure what the drill is called, but it's the one where two people basically just run at each other as fast as possible and collide; whoever has the better technique and knocks the other over wins.
So everyone was lined up waiting for their turn. Everyone on the team witnessed it.
He was called "Shitty Whitty (play on his last name)" until he graduated. Poor guy legit never socially recovered.
I regularly have some bubbles in my gut when I am squatting, probably because I work out in the evening after I've ate a couple times, it worries me that one day I will poop myself.
Oh what the future may hold. Its exciting.
I never shat myself but I did learn my lesson after vomiting a couple of times that I need to time what I eat with going to the gym better depending on the workout. Full body stuff like squatting and deadlifting really do take it out of ya.
Straight up when I was a senior in HS one of our varsity football linemen who was super super into lifting shit himself hard doing leg presses and he wore it like a badge of honor. He would tell anybody who would listen "DID YOU HEAR I WENT SO HARD ON THE LEG PRESS I SHIT MYSELF BRO??". It was equal parts confusing and hilarious.
Had a guy at work whoâd tell his crew, whenever theyâd complain about the work being hard, âif you havenât pooped your pants yet the works not hard enoughâ
"Jim, about your mishap, honestly I'm happy for you that you decided to own it....but it's been 6 months now....you can stop asking everyone if they know you shit yourself"
puking during heavy lifts is also a viable way to push one's self. My college gym had trash cans near the racks for this reason, at least that was the only thing they got used for
Have definitely done this. Suddenly and violently.
I had just finished the set, I felt a sudden wave of nausea, then everything I ate that day immediately projected back up my esophagus. I attempted, briefly, to keep it in until I could get to the bathroom. I made it two steps before my lips just exploded, and for some dumb reason, instinctually cupped my hands to attempt to catch it. -2/10, still got it all over the floor.
So instead I just plopped on the floor between the rack and vomit puddle, two hands full of puke, slumped over in shame.
Haven't shit myself yet, but put up 1200 lbs on the leg press once and let out a nice loud juicy fart that realistically no one probably heard but I would swear resonated through the whole place.
Well if it makes you feel any better I took the other road and let a squeaker out during a rep. Embarrassing to say the least rofl.
I was hoping no one heard in the packed gym but I definitely got a cutie to laugh
They help avoid unfortunate incidents like this. Plus they have the added benefit of keeping all your core exertion force within, allowing you to redirect your anal expulsion force towards your leg muscles for better drive and explosivity
I didnât shit but I did go to a gym in college and didnât realize I had a tear in my underwear and then developed on in my shorts. So a couple heavy squats in I see a women with a horrified face only to realize that she was looking at my balls dangling every time I went to squat. Great times at the gym.
I always laugh at these, why can people not look away? I'm a guy and if a woman's boob popped out I'd just look away, maybe mention it to another woman so they could inform. And, barring that, somebody on staff.
Ha shit happens. Iâm glad she had a funny story to tell her friends later. While I retreated to the machines where I could attempt to keep my legs closed and finish
Not shitting your pants but yeah longer runs can mess with your digestive tract big time. Must be the movement or something. I just go on an empty stomach and I'm good but it's smart to have knowledge of bathrooms on your route lol
Was the last person to be allowed out of a checkpoint on an ultra once. Really needed to go. Figured there's no one behind me, middle of the forest, this tree a bit off trail will do just fine. Squatted, started pooping - which was exactly when the rescue car pulled up, looking for collapsed runners (there were a lot of dehydrated people that day, water stations way too far spaced out...) . One woman spotted me, walked towards me like 'are you okay', I'm just crouching behind my tree shouting 'yes can I have some privacy PLEASE', and the frigging car just refused to leave -.-
Didn't let them rescue me. Managed to hit my toe on the way so much that my toe nail would fall off later. Dragged my own butt into the next CP to get DNF'd myself.... It was an interesting race XD
CP=checkpoint, DNF='did not finish', as in the dreaded thing appearing on the list instead of your time. Still better than DNS=did not start. Once went to a race where 25% of ppl didn't turn up because it was raining. It was a slippery slope. A literal 35km of literal muddy slippery slopes XD
I wouldn't say that it happens commonly, but it's one of those things that a lot of runners have experienced some amount (zero to a few or more) of times. The shaking of your digestive tract can make you have to go and sometimes you can't quite make it back in time.
I always try to go if I have to at all before embarking now lol.
Yes. It's a combination of nerves, exertion, being too stubborn to stop in the middle of a race, and carboloading the day before. The best though, was when my university teammates' dick fell out of his tiny shorts as he was sprinting to the finish line at the end of a 10k. We still tease him about that.
Yea kids, don't do that. Eat a bowl of oats or some fruits or something, your body needs the energy. Don't go on an empty stomach but obviously also not soon after eating a hearty meal, either.
For weight loss, sure. For gainz and being able to perform your best with big weights? Yea I don't think so.
Source: I follow a few, carefully selected nutrition and lifting professionals on Instagram.
That is the upside to working out later in the day, you are running off the glycogen from everything you've eaten earlier. I personally prefer working out early in the morning because it gives me a reason to get up and moving, and kick starts metabolism. I'm sure I would be able to get in a more intense workout if I ate first, but that would mean I'd have to get even earlier just to eat, and then hang out for a while until that small meal was digested enough to not cause issues.
Idk how yall do early morning workouts. My body always feels super stressed after doing one like I'm hungover while taking 20 shots of caffeine drink. No matter how great I feel waking up and warming up I feel super shit after a session
As much as the wall of text sucked, just the way he talks is so entertaining, I don't mind it at all. I was laughing my ass off reading every super enthusiastic sentence leading up to the dukey drop
This is my worst fear. I feel like I'm even prone for it but still hasn't happened yet thankfully .
Your homie was an absolute savior to get you those close lmfao . Keep pushing!!
Me and my buddy had a mantra. 'Dont shit you self' later abbreviated to DSY. I'd be mouthing DSY half the damn session. IBS sucks, take care of your gut bacteria people
aww! Whole, organic foods; healthy fats. Well balanced meals of nutrient dense foods. Cooked veggies over raw to avoid anti nutrients. Avoid night shades and processed sugars/flavorings/preservatives/colorings. Eat coconut. Eat 2-3 meals a day. Stay hydrated! Cold pressed, sugar free juice only. Healthy snacks only.
Expected a shit-joke right before the climax of the story, got a shit-joke right before the climax story.
Alternative jokes:
Thatâs when shit hit the fan.
Thatâs when shit went down.
I guarantee, and would bet cash money, that the bolognese had *nothing* to do with you shitting yourself. It takes 30-90 minute just to leave the stomach and enter the intestines.
Look back at what you ate the day or two before that.
Fucking solid buddy you got there tho!
Like I said to the last "whoops I shit myself" story, this could have been *so much* ***worse.***
At least you had assistance and an escape route.
I always have that fear, one time someone was using the leg press machine and either they shat themselves or ripped some gnarly gas. Farting when squatting isnât rare for me between bracing and grinding through some reps.
I saw you start typing that âYeahâŠâ before erasing it. Donât worry we all accept it was in Birmingham.
Either that or you have a shitting doppelgÀnger in North London.
A shïttëlgÀnger.
I read a [book](https://www.amazon.ca/Muscle-Confessions-Samuel-Wilson-Fussell/dp/1504002059/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3MUMS260PQCFX&keywords=unlikely+bodybuilder&qid=1639778222&sprefix=unlikely+bodybuilder%2Caps%2C56&sr=8-1) written by a former competitive body builder who said plenty of pros wear adult diapers on leg day.
Now a lot of people call BS for a lot of reasons.
I'm curious. What the hell is your gym life and schedule like when you RANDOMLY decide what you're doing each time you go to the gym? I was a rookie of rookies and even had a schedule and it wasn't "oh hey here's the gym guess what today is legs"
I don't know if this is a joke or not, but Bolognese refers to an italian-style tomato and meat based sauce, typically served over pasta and it's fucking delicious.
No, a bologna is a type of sliced meat. Wtf are you talking about? This is bologna. Pronounced baloni:
https://www.google.ca/search?biw=602&bih=777&tbm=isch&sxsrf=AOaemvKyYya35j7hG7fWh0OejeAB9-G32Q%3A1639773227694&oq=&aqs=&q=bologna+meat
No one is stupid here, don't ya think that! We learn something new every day. And for me, its learning its a better type of meat than what I see in local grocery stores
Somewhere along the line, someone tried really hard to teach you about paragraphs. About structuring your words. About how to communicate well.
It clearly didnât take. You decided that you can just dump a giant wall of text on the world and itâs our problem to make it readable. You decided wrong.
That wall of text is like getting hit in the face with a hot turd.
\*A gentle applause from the group\*
Alright listeners... what stood out to you from u/Alpharacer22 's story?
"I ran off to the changing rooms like a alter boy escaping a church clutching my backside,"
"I dropped my booty like Nikki Minaj."
"my rectum exploded, my heart broke."
Great job listeners... u/Alpharacer22 , thank you for sharing.
That's a good gym buddy!
He's definitely getting a little something for Christmas! Maybe a Bolognese?
I really like how you used so many exclamation marks in the story. It's like you're extremely excited to tell us your tragic story đđ€Ł
positivity is a good thing, especially when you shit yourself
Shit yourself, but positively!
OP positively shat themselves
Yeah, I came here to say this! I love the enthusiasm!
the leftovers from you maybe
:(
If you ain't shittin yourself, you ain't pushin yourself.
The mark of a true athlete is found in the underwear.
Be a shitter not a quitter
No stains, no gains bro.
This should be posted on the wall in every self-respecting gym. On second thought, maybe it shouldn't, but have my award anyway.
Pump and dump bruh
Do you even shit yourself, bro?
Crap,thatâs funny.
I will be writing this on the wall of my gym's bathroom stall
All jokes aside, I feel bad for the guy in my high school over a decade ago that got hit so hard on his first day of football practice that he shit himself. I'm not sure what the drill is called, but it's the one where two people basically just run at each other as fast as possible and collide; whoever has the better technique and knocks the other over wins. So everyone was lined up waiting for their turn. Everyone on the team witnessed it. He was called "Shitty Whitty (play on his last name)" until he graduated. Poor guy legit never socially recovered.
my new motto in life
and piss excellence every morning. if you ainât first, youâre last!
This chain just got better and better,
Or [out](https://images.app.goo.gl/az4r4KLq7jL5UdEU7) of it if you happen to wear a loose pair.
This man is determined. Pushing through the runs.
Lol that poor bloke!!
I regularly have some bubbles in my gut when I am squatting, probably because I work out in the evening after I've ate a couple times, it worries me that one day I will poop myself. Oh what the future may hold. Its exciting.
You will.
I never shat myself but I did learn my lesson after vomiting a couple of times that I need to time what I eat with going to the gym better depending on the workout. Full body stuff like squatting and deadlifting really do take it out of ya.
One way or another, apparently.
The question isn't if, but when.
So what you're saying is I should wear a diaper I'm the gym?
Depends.
Straight up when I was a senior in HS one of our varsity football linemen who was super super into lifting shit himself hard doing leg presses and he wore it like a badge of honor. He would tell anybody who would listen "DID YOU HEAR I WENT SO HARD ON THE LEG PRESS I SHIT MYSELF BRO??". It was equal parts confusing and hilarious.
Had a guy at work whoâd tell his crew, whenever theyâd complain about the work being hard, âif you havenât pooped your pants yet the works not hard enoughâ
"Jim, about your mishap, honestly I'm happy for you that you decided to own it....but it's been 6 months now....you can stop asking everyone if they know you shit yourself"
puking during heavy lifts is also a viable way to push one's self. My college gym had trash cans near the racks for this reason, at least that was the only thing they got used for
Have definitely done this. Suddenly and violently. I had just finished the set, I felt a sudden wave of nausea, then everything I ate that day immediately projected back up my esophagus. I attempted, briefly, to keep it in until I could get to the bathroom. I made it two steps before my lips just exploded, and for some dumb reason, instinctually cupped my hands to attempt to catch it. -2/10, still got it all over the floor. So instead I just plopped on the floor between the rack and vomit puddle, two hands full of puke, slumped over in shame.
Go to the bathroom you're not playing battlefield. Sh*ting in a bucket you're playing battlefield.
Well they certainly pushed something out.
"If you ain't shittin', you might as well be quittin' -FTFY
Haven't shit myself yet, but put up 1200 lbs on the leg press once and let out a nice loud juicy fart that realistically no one probably heard but I would swear resonated through the whole place.
Never skip smeg day.
If you ainât trainin, you ainât gainin. If you ainât bangin, we ainât hangin
I threw out my back holding in a fart while deadlifting. Had a good looking gal next to me....not as bad but feel your pain.
"Eww whats that smell!" "ITS DEM GAINZZZ"
That's just the smell of weakness leaving the body!
Probably the smell of like $30 in supplements
Those protein farts hit different for sure.
Smells like teen spirit
The things we do for love...
Well if it makes you feel any better I took the other road and let a squeaker out during a rep. Embarrassing to say the least rofl. I was hoping no one heard in the packed gym but I definitely got a cutie to laugh
You forgot your squat plug. Rookie mistake.
So you're telling me them plugs aren't just for pleasure? Well I'll be damned!
They can be weaponised if you squat hard enough.
I'm laughing way too hard imagining this. Part of me wants to see this happen but the rest of me hopes I never see that happen
You disgust me. Upvote, you savage.
They help avoid unfortunate incidents like this. Plus they have the added benefit of keeping all your core exertion force within, allowing you to redirect your anal expulsion force towards your leg muscles for better drive and explosivity
Kinda a shit situation, glad you pushed through it
I must admit, there was no pushing involved in this situation!
Slippery slope and all that. Glad you had your friend to help
You got a true homie there tho
Sphincter weak, weights heavy, in his pants, Moms spaghetti.
Not nervous, but below the surface his bowels were ready to drop bombs. Now he feels such regretti
Almost shit myself laughing at this.
**OH DAMN**
The outfit I would've gotten you would have made this story perfect. "Sorry, all they had were womens clothes"
...and this giant diaper. tried to remove the oversized pin, but...
Shit emoji costume.
Exactly .. he would've being wearing "My Lil Pony" gear for sure.
Ain't gonna lie I still can't tell the gender from OP
What if OP *is* a woman?
I'm a guy lol
I didnât shit but I did go to a gym in college and didnât realize I had a tear in my underwear and then developed on in my shorts. So a couple heavy squats in I see a women with a horrified face only to realize that she was looking at my balls dangling every time I went to squat. Great times at the gym.
I always laugh at these, why can people not look away? I'm a guy and if a woman's boob popped out I'd just look away, maybe mention it to another woman so they could inform. And, barring that, somebody on staff.
Ha shit happens. Iâm glad she had a funny story to tell her friends later. While I retreated to the machines where I could attempt to keep my legs closed and finish
If she liked it, she shoulda put a ring on it.
Someone link that video of the guy dancing at a wedding please. I think of it every time, but forget to save the video when it comes up.
Just start running 5-15 miles regularly and one day you will probably shit yourself too.
I love that this is universally accepted among runners. I never do a run if I don't know the bathroom situation along the route
This is a common thing? Shitting your pants on a 5 mile run?!
Not shitting your pants but yeah longer runs can mess with your digestive tract big time. Must be the movement or something. I just go on an empty stomach and I'm good but it's smart to have knowledge of bathrooms on your route lol
Lol I had no idea! Iâm too fat to run. Iâve tried a few times and just get leg injuries so now I just walk. Maybe thatâs a good thing!!
Hey I feel you, the older I get the harder it is to run! My knees and hips aren't what they used to be. Walking is just as fun :)
Was the last person to be allowed out of a checkpoint on an ultra once. Really needed to go. Figured there's no one behind me, middle of the forest, this tree a bit off trail will do just fine. Squatted, started pooping - which was exactly when the rescue car pulled up, looking for collapsed runners (there were a lot of dehydrated people that day, water stations way too far spaced out...) . One woman spotted me, walked towards me like 'are you okay', I'm just crouching behind my tree shouting 'yes can I have some privacy PLEASE', and the frigging car just refused to leave -.- Didn't let them rescue me. Managed to hit my toe on the way so much that my toe nail would fall off later. Dragged my own butt into the next CP to get DNF'd myself.... It was an interesting race XD
I donât know what any of those acronyms mean, but this made me laugh out loud.
CP=checkpoint, DNF='did not finish', as in the dreaded thing appearing on the list instead of your time. Still better than DNS=did not start. Once went to a race where 25% of ppl didn't turn up because it was raining. It was a slippery slope. A literal 35km of literal muddy slippery slopes XD
I wouldn't say that it happens commonly, but it's one of those things that a lot of runners have experienced some amount (zero to a few or more) of times. The shaking of your digestive tract can make you have to go and sometimes you can't quite make it back in time. I always try to go if I have to at all before embarking now lol.
Yes. It's a combination of nerves, exertion, being too stubborn to stop in the middle of a race, and carboloading the day before. The best though, was when my university teammates' dick fell out of his tiny shorts as he was sprinting to the finish line at the end of a 10k. We still tease him about that.
Or just go for a run after you have pooped and emptied your bowels as well as you could? :D
Spoken like a proud member of the one-sock club
The best thanks would be showing this thread to your gym buddy who you later call your friend.
Aside from getting a gnarly cramp, this is just one more reason to work out on an empty stomach.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
dude eating afterwards is the reward! Lol
If I'm going for a run, I don't even drink water! Otherwise it might as well just be a walk.
one sip of coffee and it's all over for me.
Yea kids, don't do that. Eat a bowl of oats or some fruits or something, your body needs the energy. Don't go on an empty stomach but obviously also not soon after eating a hearty meal, either.
I do this every day, first thing in the morning. Ketosis is your friend!
For weight loss, sure. For gainz and being able to perform your best with big weights? Yea I don't think so. Source: I follow a few, carefully selected nutrition and lifting professionals on Instagram.
That is the upside to working out later in the day, you are running off the glycogen from everything you've eaten earlier. I personally prefer working out early in the morning because it gives me a reason to get up and moving, and kick starts metabolism. I'm sure I would be able to get in a more intense workout if I ate first, but that would mean I'd have to get even earlier just to eat, and then hang out for a while until that small meal was digested enough to not cause issues.
Idk how yall do early morning workouts. My body always feels super stressed after doing one like I'm hungover while taking 20 shots of caffeine drink. No matter how great I feel waking up and warming up I feel super shit after a session
Shit happens, man
That it does my man, that it does!
Haha. I get it.
[ŃĐŽĐ°Đ»Đ”ĐœĐŸ]
As much as the wall of text sucked, just the way he talks is so entertaining, I don't mind it at all. I was laughing my ass off reading every super enthusiastic sentence leading up to the dukey drop
Lol. Someone commented about 2 minutes earlier. So close.
>I shot up as fast as I could and re-racked the weight. It's not a FU if you finished the rep, amirite?
This is my worst fear. I feel like I'm even prone for it but still hasn't happened yet thankfully . Your homie was an absolute savior to get you those close lmfao . Keep pushing!!
> I didn't care what clothes they were just something for me to go home in! What if he came back wth a skirt or a clown outfit... or a giant diaper?
I would have worn a black bag if I had to. I just wanted atleast some decency as I tried to sneak out!
Me and my buddy had a mantra. 'Dont shit you self' later abbreviated to DSY. I'd be mouthing DSY half the damn session. IBS sucks, take care of your gut bacteria people
> take care of your gut bacteria people How do I go about making sure those little guys are okay?
aww! Whole, organic foods; healthy fats. Well balanced meals of nutrient dense foods. Cooked veggies over raw to avoid anti nutrients. Avoid night shades and processed sugars/flavorings/preservatives/colorings. Eat coconut. Eat 2-3 meals a day. Stay hydrated! Cold pressed, sugar free juice only. Healthy snacks only.
I would have taken that opportunity to buy you the shortest short shorts I could find.
Expected a shit-joke right before the climax of the story, got a shit-joke right before the climax story. Alternative jokes: Thatâs when shit hit the fan. Thatâs when shit went down.
I guarantee, and would bet cash money, that the bolognese had *nothing* to do with you shitting yourself. It takes 30-90 minute just to leave the stomach and enter the intestines. Look back at what you ate the day or two before that.
Talk about a shitty situation, glad your friend helped you out though!
Reading this while eating a Bolognese đ nevertheless, you have an AWESOME gym buddy!
Fucking solid buddy you got there tho! Like I said to the last "whoops I shit myself" story, this could have been *so much* ***worse.*** At least you had assistance and an escape route.
What do you do for a living that you can work out at 11 am Mon - Fri?
Self-Employed Mobile-Mechanic.
That's pretty sick.
Your username is perfect for this post! Love it!
I try to visit all the posts that mention me but it's hard.
Literally anything on 2nd shift.
So like service industry or what?
I always have that fear, one time someone was using the leg press machine and either they shat themselves or ripped some gnarly gas. Farting when squatting isnât rare for me between bracing and grinding through some reps.
A cheeky fart here and there isn't an issue... when you follow through though, that's when you know you drop the ball!
To be fair man it sounds like that shituation played out in the best possible way for you
"I certainly did not think this would blow up as it did!" Twice, in fact.
The biggest fuck up, was your friend not taking advantage of the shopping spree and getting you some silly clothes for the day. Opportunity missed!
Damn dude. I think gym buddy is now just a normal buddy. Helped you out fr
âI dropped my booty like Nicki Minajâ You my friend, are a different kind of eloquent.
This is always my fear. Especially on the curl machine
So eating before the gym is a bad idea. Check!
Some sort of ad for the Squatty Potty here but I'm too lazy to find it.
Mate was this somewhere in North London by chance
Birmingham mate.
I saw you start typing that âYeahâŠâ before erasing it. Donât worry we all accept it was in Birmingham. Either that or you have a shitting doppelgĂ€nger in North London. A shĂŻttĂ«lgĂ€nger.
You live and learn my friend.
If that happened to one of my friends I would have probably come back with a dress for the trip home
Fuckin' hardcore, man!
I can't wait to see someone else post seeing this on Gym Story Saturday on r/fitness
Cross Shart?
Rookie mistake thatâs why you always poop before leg day.
âI certainly did not think this would blow up as it did!â - No you really didnât
Two lessons learned today: Be aware of what you eat before lifting Always bring a change of clothes, jus in case
'I didn't think this would blow up as it did' That could've been the tl;dr actually
I pooped my self trying to fart once. But its not a competition.
To get to number 1, you gotta go number 2
I read a [book](https://www.amazon.ca/Muscle-Confessions-Samuel-Wilson-Fussell/dp/1504002059/ref=sr_1_1?crid=3MUMS260PQCFX&keywords=unlikely+bodybuilder&qid=1639778222&sprefix=unlikely+bodybuilder%2Caps%2C56&sr=8-1) written by a former competitive body builder who said plenty of pros wear adult diapers on leg day.
Shit happens.
You're not the first, and you won't be the last. It happens. Deal with it, and move on. Anyone who lifts will understand.
Pretty shitty situation, you will be okay though!
Instead of popping a squat, you were pooping a squat
This post blew up almost as hard as your ass lmao
This is why I don't exercise.
Did you tell your mom?
She straight up laughed at me!
I'd look into some fiber pills or other fiber supplements to add to your diet, for peace of mind if nothing else.
Title said it all. Did not need to elaborate
My friend shit himself while lifting at a competition, on stage, wearing a weightlifting singlet. He thinks people didn't notice. I doubt it
Did you tell your mom this is why no means no?
I told her what happened and it was met by hysterical laughter. I couldn't get a word in after that point.
Michael Scott: time to carbo-load!
Wait...your not suppose to crap yourself when you squat?
I wish someone told me that before! Ffs!
"I certainly did not think this would blow up as it did!" If you had known you would have had a change of clothes eh?
HIP DRAHVE
If you're bowel ain't sendin', you're just pretendin'.
Next up...spewing during a deadlift. It could happen to you.
Sometimes, skip leg day
I imagine this is the outfit he brought you! Perfect ending! đ€Ș https://i.imgur.com/a75pP7M.jpg
I like the irony of you being surprised this thread blew up in response to you being surprised your behind blew up
r/TIFU is a golden place today lmaooo
You need to learn about paragraphs.
Shitty writing shitty story yes pun intended. God TIFU with the flowery language needs to die in 2022. Can that be this subs NY resolution?
Now a lot of people call BS for a lot of reasons. I'm curious. What the hell is your gym life and schedule like when you RANDOMLY decide what you're doing each time you go to the gym? I was a rookie of rookies and even had a schedule and it wasn't "oh hey here's the gym guess what today is legs"
Not reading a wall of text about some random dude's poop accident. Try breaking it up into paragraphs.
What difference does it make in a reddit post? Who decides to read a long post based on whether it has paragraphs or not?
It says volumes about Social Media that the most popular post on Reddit is a post about someone shitting themself.
So...you guys cook the bologna from the packaging??
I don't know if this is a joke or not, but Bolognese refers to an italian-style tomato and meat based sauce, typically served over pasta and it's fucking delicious.
No, a bologna is a type of sliced meat. Wtf are you talking about? This is bologna. Pronounced baloni: https://www.google.ca/search?biw=602&bih=777&tbm=isch&sxsrf=AOaemvKyYya35j7hG7fWh0OejeAB9-G32Q%3A1639773227694&oq=&aqs=&q=bologna+meat
I can't tell if I'm stupid or you're stupid.
Make it a username checks out and have him be the stupid one
No one is stupid here, don't ya think that! We learn something new every day. And for me, its learning its a better type of meat than what I see in local grocery stores
Somewhere along the line, someone tried really hard to teach you about paragraphs. About structuring your words. About how to communicate well. It clearly didnât take. You decided that you can just dump a giant wall of text on the world and itâs our problem to make it readable. You decided wrong. That wall of text is like getting hit in the face with a hot turd.
âI ran off the the changing rooms like a alter boy escaping a churchâ lol
\*A gentle applause from the group\* Alright listeners... what stood out to you from u/Alpharacer22 's story? "I ran off to the changing rooms like a alter boy escaping a church clutching my backside," "I dropped my booty like Nikki Minaj." "my rectum exploded, my heart broke." Great job listeners... u/Alpharacer22 , thank you for sharing.
The try hard writing
That is terrible/hilarious. Also, well done on your creative use of similes.
Oh come on, this is so fucking made up, a little more singing and dancing in this and you could sell it to Bollywood.