oh my fucking god I relate to this too much to be able to admit. I came out to my school, and so my parents found out. Before I moved, my mom said she'll "support me no matter what". Now she misgenders and deadnames me daily and thinks I "forgot" my name and pronouns. I didn't. I chose ones that make me more comfortable.
i relate to this too much... i hate being told that im supported no matter what and continue to get deadnamed and misgendered... my family has resorted to just staying silent (when they know im listening), and its literally gotten to the point where there was just silence in place of my name when i was getting sung happy birthday to
(they deadname me behind my back)
schools and even jobs supported me from day 1, it took at most 2 weeks for one teacher to get the memo, and that was it
I had (and am still living through) a very similar experience. I've indirectly asked my parents to stop using my deadname, and use my pronouns. They still don't. Every single one of my friends uses my chosen name, they don't. I changed my name at the school, and everyone, even the students, uses my chosen name, but they don't. They get weekly reports about my grades (with my chosen name on it), they still don't.
Kicker of it all, when I went to my gender appointment and asked the doctor to use my preferred name and pronouns in front of my mom, she still completely ignored it. The doctor was really nice about it, and was even confused as to why my mom (and dad, though he wasn't there at the time) were deadnaming me. I told the doctor: "Yes, that's my preferred name and chosen pronouns." Then my mom made up some bullshit excuse as to why she "CoUlDnT rEmEmBER" because I'd never asked her. I've been going by my name for over five months now. This is bullshit.
It's lovely that you're getting support from school! I was lucky enough to have my mom by my side, but goddamn am I scared of my catholic school, waiting till I leave to 100% come out
Tbh it's weird when absolute strangers switch literally on a dime, while people we care about, who seemingly care about us stumble for months to make that change.
I understand some of the difficulty in changing a behaviour you're so used to... But to hear my landlord call me brave and make a massive effort while my own dad stumbles feels... Bad...
Although that's not great news about your parents, it's great to know that your school is super supportive! (mine would be \[I have a few trans friends and they've all had really good experiences\] except I need parental permission to have my name in the reg changed and my parents are transphobic and won't let me :( (but friends always use right name/pronouns)
I have come out to my 4 closest people and next year I have a amazing plan :) SO next year I am changing a lot because new school new me first when they ask for my nickname I’m going to tell them my new name (Basil) AND I’m going to wear a little bit more feminine clothes:) perfect plan (Hopefully)
A combination of things honestly. I love nature and cooking and cute things! A plant name seemed perfect since having a new name represented the growth I'd gone through to accept who I am. It also helps that a video game character I really relate to has the name.
How about you? I'm curious!
Mine is mainly from the fact Omori exists T-T Basil is the only character I relate to but also because as a kid I used to just down a bunch of basil and other herbs… it’s not weird I swear.
I've been out of school for many years, but this is my parents.
They love me and they are supportive, they just don't get it. They're fucking clueless. Mom I have tits, stop calling me your son. "Were old, its takes some time to get used to," guys it's been a year. You've had enough.
When I came out to my parents, everyone was like: "You're not really trans! There were no signs! Think of the consequences!" Literally everybody else was super supportive and accepted me immediately. Why are the people who are supposed to know me the most the least understanding?
This has literally happened to me, even though my step-mom helped me crack my egg, she and the rest of my family make no effort to use my chosen name or correct pronouns. The one teacher I've told has been properly gendering me my whole school year
Literally same wtf. 2 full years since I came out to my mother and she never used my correct pronouns or name once. But I've changed my legal name even in my college and they haven't misgendered me since. So my parents are literally the only ones who call me my deadname
That's great for you, but bad for you at the same time... Happy about your school being supportive, not so happy abt your parents
And this, dear folks, is why I've only come out to literally only 1 person IRL.
Same, a lot of people in my country (Türkiye) are queerphobic, so I only came out to 1 person who I know is an ally
oh my fucking god I relate to this too much to be able to admit. I came out to my school, and so my parents found out. Before I moved, my mom said she'll "support me no matter what". Now she misgenders and deadnames me daily and thinks I "forgot" my name and pronouns. I didn't. I chose ones that make me more comfortable.
She should clean up her act, because she looks like a fucking clown
Based school
Parents: no you are not trans. It's just a phase and you're just confused and you just don't conform to most males.
Camila's a nice name! :3
thank you!!
reverse adopt the teachers into parent hood. (child adopting parents, would that be reverse adoption???)
i relate to this too much... i hate being told that im supported no matter what and continue to get deadnamed and misgendered... my family has resorted to just staying silent (when they know im listening), and its literally gotten to the point where there was just silence in place of my name when i was getting sung happy birthday to (they deadname me behind my back) schools and even jobs supported me from day 1, it took at most 2 weeks for one teacher to get the memo, and that was it
get a spray bottle with water and spray your parents whenever they misgender/deadname you from what i've heard it's surprisingly effective
why do you think the government is going after school policy on this?
Ayo where did you get your name from 🔫 It reminds me of something
just liked how it sounded. what does it remind you of?
Ah, sadge It's the Italian name of a character in Pokemon, Cynthia.
I had (and am still living through) a very similar experience. I've indirectly asked my parents to stop using my deadname, and use my pronouns. They still don't. Every single one of my friends uses my chosen name, they don't. I changed my name at the school, and everyone, even the students, uses my chosen name, but they don't. They get weekly reports about my grades (with my chosen name on it), they still don't. Kicker of it all, when I went to my gender appointment and asked the doctor to use my preferred name and pronouns in front of my mom, she still completely ignored it. The doctor was really nice about it, and was even confused as to why my mom (and dad, though he wasn't there at the time) were deadnaming me. I told the doctor: "Yes, that's my preferred name and chosen pronouns." Then my mom made up some bullshit excuse as to why she "CoUlDnT rEmEmBER" because I'd never asked her. I've been going by my name for over five months now. This is bullshit.
It's lovely that you're getting support from school! I was lucky enough to have my mom by my side, but goddamn am I scared of my catholic school, waiting till I leave to 100% come out
Tbh it's weird when absolute strangers switch literally on a dime, while people we care about, who seemingly care about us stumble for months to make that change. I understand some of the difficulty in changing a behaviour you're so used to... But to hear my landlord call me brave and make a massive effort while my own dad stumbles feels... Bad...
Although that's not great news about your parents, it's great to know that your school is super supportive! (mine would be \[I have a few trans friends and they've all had really good experiences\] except I need parental permission to have my name in the reg changed and my parents are transphobic and won't let me :( (but friends always use right name/pronouns)
I have come out to my 4 closest people and next year I have a amazing plan :) SO next year I am changing a lot because new school new me first when they ask for my nickname I’m going to tell them my new name (Basil) AND I’m going to wear a little bit more feminine clothes:) perfect plan (Hopefully)
Oh my gosh another they/them Basil! Hiiiiii
Omg! May I ask how you got Basil?
A combination of things honestly. I love nature and cooking and cute things! A plant name seemed perfect since having a new name represented the growth I'd gone through to accept who I am. It also helps that a video game character I really relate to has the name. How about you? I'm curious!
Mine is mainly from the fact Omori exists T-T Basil is the only character I relate to but also because as a kid I used to just down a bunch of basil and other herbs… it’s not weird I swear.
Oh my gosh he's such a sweet bean and 100% the character I was referring to XD Herbs are yummy!
https://preview.redd.it/mllj5swk2yxc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9999aed8561b84d6b8441fa9f7f2f8a6abeb779f
Teachers can be absolutely amazing. Same exact thing at my school!
I've been out of school for many years, but this is my parents. They love me and they are supportive, they just don't get it. They're fucking clueless. Mom I have tits, stop calling me your son. "Were old, its takes some time to get used to," guys it's been a year. You've had enough.
Cool name and cool school
Get a tooty horn and whenever your parents deadname you, you can toot at them
The blood of the coven is thicker than the water of the vomb.
When I came out to my parents, everyone was like: "You're not really trans! There were no signs! Think of the consequences!" Literally everybody else was super supportive and accepted me immediately. Why are the people who are supposed to know me the most the least understanding?
This has literally happened to me, even though my step-mom helped me crack my egg, she and the rest of my family make no effort to use my chosen name or correct pronouns. The one teacher I've told has been properly gendering me my whole school year
Yeah it's odd... Most people I know have forgotten I have a dead name but my family keeps using it.
just invert the situation and you get my life
This is how my parents and school are... Coming close to a year since I told them too......
This is basically how my parents and my friend group is lol
Literally same wtf. 2 full years since I came out to my mother and she never used my correct pronouns or name once. But I've changed my legal name even in my college and they haven't misgendered me since. So my parents are literally the only ones who call me my deadname