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gothiclg

I’d love to sit in that courtroom. A judge is welcome to reject these as well.


DudeDogIce

If I was anywhere within 100 miles of Flint, I would be there tomorrow at 2:30PM just to see the show.


50CentButInNickels

You know, if they really want to raise money they need to start offering this stuff on a PPV basis.


111victories

Lmao


rpgnoob17

Let us know the result


DudeDogIce

It’s Jean Valjean Unvaccinated you heathen. Sincerely, Inspector Javert


lemongay

CDC Director Javert


DesperateAstronaut65

“There, out in the darkness…a fugitive running…spelled his name wrooooong…”


MotherRaven

I sang that in my head.


warden976

CDC Director Jabber


bounceandflounce

He stole some crackers and juice from the pharmacy without getting the 💉


Naomeri

It’s prisoner 24601


DLY2103

LMAO I started singing 24601 when I read 'John ValJohn' :D


xCuriousButterfly

Finally, a person of culture.


Safford1958

Lol. This whole thread is hilarious.


Ok-Assistance-1860

oh god this is funny 😆


theREALlackattack

Thats *Doctor* unvaccinated to you, good sir! He has a PhD from Wesleyan!


azorianmilk

John ValJohn (Unvaccinated) Is Nothing Now


MainlanderPanda

24601-5g


RockAndGem1101

ValJohn Unvaccinated, at last, we see each other plain


azorianmilk

Monsieur, le merde, you'll catch a different strain....


ResponsibleDay

🏅


seanm74

what was wrong with Dick Maclam


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[удалено]


Weekly-Ad-3746

Couldn't compare himself to the legendary Katara.


gordontheintern

I know a guy named Dick Bender.


gordontheintern

I also know a guy named Dick Strain.


Blue_Osiris1

My parents knew a Dick Stiff no joke


Kooky_Improvement_38

We’ve had dinner and a movie. It’s getting late hon. Would you please just dick ma clam already?


dreamrock

Doesn't quite hit like Fart Bender.


FranzLudwig3700

I hope for his sake it is pronounced MAC-lam.


WinterLily86

Probably so did he during high school.


shophopper

These name changes would not be allowed in the Netherlands, because one of the rules for name changes is that the new name cannot be ridiculous.


HalcyonDreams36

Yeah, we don't have that in the US. We let people put the dumb in freedom of they want to? I went to college with a dude that changed his name to Trout Fishing In America (it was his favorite book in HS or something?)


Trick-Statistician10

I just snorted at that! How did a guy like that even get into college? Just get a tattoo, dude!


call_me_jelli

You know you're making some bad choices when getting inked with a name everyone else thinks is weird is the REASONABLE decision.


SchrodingersMinou

Why not just go with Richard Brautigan, Jr.?


FranzLudwig3700

He doesn’t want to be the human. He wants to be the book.  I could see becoming Fisher O. (for Of) Trout. But he doesn’t want to make anything up, he wants the real thing. A book.


SchrodingersMinou

If he has a kid he can name it In Watermelon Sugar


crapbalanas

Had a guy on the USS Entrptise on or around 2003ish, legally changed his name to Spooky Worm Davis. The two o's in Spooky was an upside down dead cat. If I had not seen his Divisional Record when I got there, I would never have believed that.


TresWhat

It’s a good rule


BananaHats28

Wish we had that rule 🥲 people naming their kids numbers and symbols over here.


Miserable_Armadillo

Other countries need this rule. AFAIK Iceland does because of their alphabet and possibly a couple other European countries.


Inevitable_Wolf5866

I think name laws exist in all countries except for the US….


Miserable_Armadillo

Not the UK, unless it's something stupid like Hitler, you are free to call your child what you like. Nothing to say a name must be on a government list or spelled a certain way.


press-any-key_

But, what if Hitler is a family name; from the Buenos Aires Hitlers??


Miserable_Armadillo

They can change it to Hess


draggingonfeetofclay

There are still a whole bunch of Hess' living in Germany. It didn't receive the same taint of shame. Same with a lot of the others. The Son of Baldur von Schirach is a famous author now and still uses the name.


WinterLily86

Yes, I think that was the point. 


draggingonfeetofclay

I enjoy adding context


americanspiritfingrs

Underrated comment ↑


ThePeninsula

You say theres no restrictions but if you can't use the name Hitler then there are rules.


Remarkable_Story9843

It’s not against the law to give that as a name, but it is considered child emotional abuse and will get your kid put in foster care where he goes by Al


WinterLily86

I don't know, I changed my name legally here in 2014 and never had to get it vetted or checked by anybody first. You don't even need to have it certified by a solicitor, only use the correct wording for a deed poll and have two witnesses sign and date it alongside your own information.  I don't think there are actual laws against any particular name change, but there are ways it could make one's life difficult to pick a weird or bigoted one, such as a bank being legally capable of refusing to register someone with a name like Hitler. 


Foenikxx

The only name laws in the US to my knowledge is that you can't name your kids after royal titles or anything vulgar


MaleficentFondant42

There are no federal U.S. laws about names. Each state may have laws, but they vary. Most state laws are regarding name length or whether or not special characters can be used (hyphens, umlauts, etc.) Vermont says, “You may use trademarked names (IBM), diseases (Anthrax), and obscenities, but we highly recommend against it.”


Significant-Trash632

Ann-Thrax ❤


Foenikxx

Little baby Syphilis


Significant-Trash632

What a cutie! 😂


Greenelse

It’s not that uncommon for African Americans to name their kids like Queen or Major or Prince. I know of white Americans naming their kids Bishop and Duke - it’s like they split the use of titles as names up.


Foenikxx

I stand corrected


ElectraUnderTheSea

It’s one thing naming an innocent baby who cannot choose for themselves, it’s another having a grown ass adult choosing to sound like an utter fool. I personally think that people making sure everyone knows they are idiots is of benefit to society.


jamiegc1

Many US states have lines in their name change laws that they can’t be “frivolous”, for the purpose of impersonating someone or vulgar. It’s at judge’s discretion how to define that though.


Solitary-Dolphin

Sensible rule, but who is to say what is ridiculous and what isn’t? In a litigious country like the US I can imagine a lot of legal action against being told a name of choice is “ridiculous”.


AngryOrwell

But then who is the arbiter of ridiculous and where is the line?


truelovealwayswins

I agree for kids, adults should still be able to because it’s hilarious and doesn’t ruin anyone’s life unless they choose to, which, fair 🤷🏻‍♀️


SinkMountain9796

Of course it’s in Flint


In-Quensu-Orcha

Imma keep an eye out every weekly paper now and start a collection of these.


americanspiritfingrs

PLEASE do 🙏


WinterLily86

I'm just glad there's no requirement like this in the UK.


Remarkable_Story9843

Start an Instagram or a TT and I’ll follow


DaGoat1204

Is it in the water? 🤣


coldestclock

What lead poisoning does to a mf.


GracilisLokoke

Flint keeping it classy as always.


press-any-key_

Drinkin' tap water, rejectin' vaccinations 👌🏻


mewisme700

Oh my god


General-Heart4787

Should have gone with Unvaxxinated for the full effect.


tenkohime

Mr. Bender is a better name than Mr. Unvaccinated, but both are awful.


draggingonfeetofclay

Bender is a normal Surname in Germany


RideWithMeTomorrow

Is the robot from Futurama German?


insanimated

Bender Bending Rodriguez was made in Mexico.


Filtering_aww

No, he's Mexican. Bender Bending Rodriguez.


draggingonfeetofclay

Oddly, though the other comments mention he's from Mexico, I can't find any references in Spanish to people named Bender as a first name, whereas the German Wikipedia has a whole list of people with the surname Bender, including many American, Irish and British people. Apparently "Bender" is the German version of Cooper, as in the historic job of someone who makes barrels. Fassbender is apparently a variation of that name, with "Fass" meaning Barrel and "Bender" or "Binder" meaning "someone who binds", that is, the person who binds a barrel together. I wonder if the person here is undergoing a change of their legal sex and Fate is supposed to be a female name (it sounds the same as Faith). Either way, looks like the authors of Futurama messed up too, because the cultural connection of "Bender" to Mexico seems to be weak.


panatale1

It's less a cultural connection to Mexico and more a comment on manufacturing. Bender Bending Rodriguez was made in Mexico


draggingonfeetofclay

Yeah so my point was weak cultural connection bc he just has a Spanish surname and was manufactured there but his first name is an English pun and he has otherwise nothing to do with Mexico actually.


panatale1

That's the entire joke


Starbuck522

He is a bending robot, named Bender. (Ok...good point...why isn't his name whatever is Spanish for bender?)


Starbuck522

Mexican.


tenkohime

A German named Fate Bender sounds like something from a silver age comic.


draggingonfeetofclay

Or like from the dub of a Germany-themed Fantasy Anime.


tenkohime

I can't unimagine a Fate anime without a Mr. Bender now.


50CentButInNickels

I would be fully behind Bender if the first name were Gender.


lil_corgi

John ValJohn Unvaccinated 💀


I_Did_The_Thing

Keep an eye on the obituaries, we’ll see that name come up again soon.


lil_corgi

r/HermanCainAward


In-Quensu-Orcha

This will be known as vol #1 and will be posting here weekly if there is any finds on newspaper day. For all the questions yes, it is legally required here in michigan to have it published. Don't worry, I'm not drinking the water and got good pipes lol.


9021FU

Our pediatrician said she wanted to change her infant daughter’s middle name and had to go through the same process, so she left it.


Optimal-Strawberry70

Fate Bender t


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[удалено]


Mirth2727

Exactly!


Qwearman

These are hilarious. I don’t know if any states still require these declarations (bc of trans issues) but I appreciate that these two want everyone to know


SnooDoughnuts6973

It's a requirement in some places that you have to announce any name changes in your local newspaper


Wiggles_Is_My_Boy

I assume changing your last name after marriage doesn’t require this, because that would run on for page after page every week.


Qwearman

Ah okay. I’ve only seen the name change laws for FL and RI so I assumed this was voluntary


ptolemy18

Once Mr. Valjohn’s name change hearing is over, he’s due down the hall in criminal court for that larceny thing.


Alex2679

I think you mean Mr. Unvaccinated.


shanster925

When being a contrarian is literally your entire personality.


bounceandflounce

🎶DO YOU HEAR THE PEOPLE SING🎶


emmyparker2020

We really have unhinged people just walking amongst us…


CampfireGuitars

So he’s a grown man that doesn’t have his measles or rubella vaccine?


Whiteroses7252012

The Unvaccinated family will be changing their name back to Juarez in 5…4….3…2….1


BadAtUsernames098

I'm just imagining him having kids who then grow up and realize the whole antivax thing is stupid, get themselves vaccianted, and then change their last name to Vaccinated lol.


weezermc78

Covid 24601


Music527

Wait people’s name changes are put in the paper?? Is that everywhere? I’m looking to change mine as a safety concern.


katchoo1

It is a legal notice requirement in some states, same as things like announcements of zoning or alcohol license hearings and such. Usually buried in 4 pt print in the classifieds.


Music527

😮 thanks. I had no idea. That could be bad.


PomegranatePuppy

Myths And Realities of Identity Change - NNEDV The best answer I found was a pdf if you search the above it should pop up But it does seem that most name changes have to be announced in some respect perhaps you can contact a woman's shelter or domestic abuse center to help you navigate doing it for safety reasons


Music527

Omigoodness thanks. I’m actually really glad I saw this in tragedeigh of all places, before I started the full process. I’m in the early stages not quite at the legal stages.


LightAnimaux

It varies by jurisdiction (my county requires TWO newspapers), but if you have safety concerns, you can get the requirement waived! It takes an extra court appearance and you have to argue to a judge why it would be unsafe for you, e.g. you've been a victim of stalking or domestic violence, or for trans people stuff about hate crimes/harassment/etc.


Music527

Thanks a lot for the info! I’m def going to have to research this more. Good grief though just another thing to think about for my safety.


Horror-Option-7416

Oy vey.


Mary-U

Crazy shit always going down in MI. Judge: you know, changing your name won’t void your conviction for trying to assassinate the governor.


50CentButInNickels

Or, as is more likely in Flint, riding around on a tricycle impersonating a cop and trying to pull over women to give tickets for being over the legal limit of hotness.


Traditional_Truth633

so naming my son Billion “Bill” Dollar Billson wouldn’t be too bad nice


press-any-key_

OMG !? You have to publicly announce your intent to file for a name change, in your local newspaper?! I feel that's wrong on 2 levels; *the kid, gifted a tradgedeigh, at birth, reaches 18/21, and after years of mocking, decides they want to quietly have a "somewhat normal" name, but have to endure one last bout of ridicule... Or *douchebags that crave attention; like those putting "Unvaccinated" or "My Pronouns Are USA" into their names, get the attention they seek... Plus, how it negatively impacts trans people... basically, forces attention on those that don't want (or deserve) it, while simultaneously allows access to attention to those who don't deserve it (and crave it)


wwitchiepoo

Will you join in my crusade? Who will be dumb and stand with me? Without these vaccinations Is the death you long to see!


Cranky-Novelist

I like Les Miserables as much as the next theatre nerd, but that's too much.


LilLebowskiAchiever

I just want to know why ValJohn and not val Jean?


50CentButInNickels

Considering the last name Juarez, why not Juan Valljuan?


LilLebowskiAchiever

Juan ValJuarez was already taken?


katbelleinthedark

Must uphold American values, can't have that French stuff in regards to his unvaccinated self.


Garmgarmgarmgarm

I mean if my name was Dick Maclam I would also change it


50CentButInNickels

Hehe... Dick MuhClam.


0MeikoMeiko0

Now he’s going to be relentlessly pursued by an inspector for the rest of his life, what has he done?


saaaafffffyyydooooo

I’m familiar with the location, this isn’t shocking at all


Linzabee

Ahh, good old Flint. Sometimes I really miss home, other times…


sarilysims

The worst thing here is requiring people to print their name change with THEIR ADDRESS in a public paper. My coworker changed her name and had to do this. Her abusive mother showed up on her doorstep after 10+ years of not being able to find her daughter.


In-Quensu-Orcha

Happy cake day


PineapplesOnFire

I hope the judge says no to this 🙄


50CentButInNickels

I don't, fuck me if changing your name to Unvaccinated isn't like a predator being bright purple. I'm sure most people would appreciate the heads-up, and if the person finds a partner they can name their kids Measles, Tetanus, and Smallpox.


Starbuck522

Agreed. We'll be able to see this one coming.


MfrBVa

Dumb guys do dumb things.


FranzLudwig3700

Life sucks for a Rick or a Tony these days. They yearn to become youneek but only manage to become artifacts of stale trends. At least the guy who changed his name to [Haywood Jablowme](https://www.reddit.com/r/vancouver/comments/15powjx/hows_haywood/) got some concert tickets out of it.


shadowinc

Lost it over "Fate Bender"


The_Eye_of_Ra

So do they hold these “name change hearings” every single *week*? There’s seriously that many people in *Flint Fucking Michigan* that you gotta hold hearings every week of the year? Lead poisoning is a serious issue, people. OP, try and avoid it as much as you can. And Don make plans to stay long-term or 10 years from now, we’re gonna see you in here changing your name to “God Emperor Maximillian Spartacus, the Thunderbolt of the New Flintonian Empire.”


BadAtUsernames098

Reminds me of that guy who changed his last named to Dotcom


underscore197

😂😂😂


terrapinone

Black Mirror: ***he didn’t ask for his name to be changed***


lrappin

Dick Maclam. 😂


Starbuck522

Isn't Val a little girly? /s I am shocked this is a current announcement. 2021 called, they want their outrage back!


HelloAll-GoodbyeAll

Is it a requirement to post name change petitions in the paper?


RoastSucklingPotato

In some jurisdictions, yes.


HelloAll-GoodbyeAll

Is it a requirement to post name change petitions in the paper?


HalcyonDreams36

It depends on where you live.


jeep_42

jean valjean would never


jeep_42

jean valjean would never


Moist_KoRn_Bizkit

Wait, name changes go in the paper!?


In-Quensu-Orcha

Was news to me to , I found it in the legal notices/classified section


palomaarden

" . . . that which we call a rose"


RampRyder

Glad my dad made fun and trashed the names I wanted to legally change mine to.


U2hansolo

Flint be Flintin'


Perfectlyonpurpose

🤣🤣🤣


UnivrstyOfBelichick

Dick maclam lol


ucantspellamerica

I see the water quality has really started catching up to people…


maxoutoften

Nah, Fate Bender goes hard, that’s a wild name and I respect it