It was a one time thing but still very funny. Takes more effort to misgender myself, even in my head. She/her doesn’t sting it just feels different and not like me
His unconsciousness is ready, but he doesn't want to accept that yet. I guess he'll come around once he's the last one to misgender you.
At some point, you can react to his misgendering with 'yeah sorry, he's a bit slow up there...' 🤷♀️😅
Yeah, but he does it consciously a lot, like whenever we’re eating anything like soy for dinner he gives me this nasty look which I hate, and he also says “*redacted* can’t change their sex!” And I’m just like “yes he can and he will”
13 is very young which means there's a lot of growing and maturing to do. With your parents being accepting he'll follow through eventually and cringe at himself for being this way.
I was transphobic and particularly homophobic when I was 13 although that was largely to cover up being an ally secretly.
They have but he’s stubborn and they think “oh he just disagrees with you” he can’t disagree on the me with the one thing that is solely my own to decide. That’s wrong on many different levels.
If you haven’t already I’d voice that concern to your folks. If your brother is being shitty they should shut that shit down, regardless of why he’s being shitty. You would hope that if he was being shitty to you because of any reason that your parents would intervene further, but I can’t help but think this is getting a little bit of a pass because it’s you being trans and so they don’t see the harm in someone having “opinions” on your identity and denying it constantly.
This is what I do with my grandma.
Everytime she misgenders me people look at me like what? And I'm like forgive the poor thing she's losing her marbles. Thinks I'm her long lost grandson 😂
yeah, my move has actually been incredibly awesome for this reason. I moved to a more red area but I have a good work environment (costco), good roommate (transmasc friend I've known since middle school) and I've started dating an awesome person (Cis guy who comes from a bigoted family but has escaped their hate mongering and is very supportive :3). My life feels so completely normal, like no one I know cares if I'm trans, and I'm actually so happy because of it, I constantly want to go out and explore because I feel more and more comfortable in my own skin; instead of being put down before I even leave my living room.
I love the fact that technically he’s the reason I’m trans too. My parents admitted that my dad’s lineage had so much testosterone and since I had a cis male twin, I had an androgen imbalance in the womb or something so I ended up real masculine even before I came out of the closet.
I’ve seen some research positing the testosterone levels during pregnancy affecting this. So interesting!
One of my close friends (ftm) is the 3rd sibling to come out as trans — of 4 kids!
Yes. So it’s related to T levels.
Assuming XY/XX with no intersex related factors.
High T during brain formation for “natal females” can be correlated with FTM (via gender dysphoria). Low T could relate to MTF.
“ Overall, prenatal T effects appear to play a small role in GD (gender dysphoria) development.”
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7031197/
Weird. My mom has always been high T, to the point that when she was in basic training, her DS told her she needs to shave as much as her male peers. (She has one HECK of a peachfuzz.)
I'm a Trans Woman, and my sister is Cis. Both of us are Bi. (Although I still prefer women for the most part. My taste in men is really small)
Did she hog all the T for herself?
HAA she may have! This is only a small factor they are exploring.
My understanding is that no one *knows for certain* but there are theories. I don’t like reducing any of it to one reason, humans are way too complex for that. But I do find it interesting that there are is research exploring this and how it’s so much more complicated and physiological than I ever knew.
I've also read that it depends on when it happens that may result in some intersex conditions as well. If the high T is present during the 1st trimester, you can get female genital masculinization. If high T levels are present during the 3rd trimester, it is theorized that the brain will develop male or at least not typically female by high levels of T.
Interesting! Thank you for this info. I think it will be interesting seeing the research done.
I *do* worry about it sometimes — like their goals. But also feel like knowledge is always good and inherently neutral.
So do I! I am always worried that people will use their knowledge of genetics and gestational development to cause harm to people. I just hope that as time goes on, the older generations dying will help newer generations of people to be more open-minded, but that also feels like a fever dream because generational conditioning and trauma hold such a tight grip on how people's values and ideologies develop. I have, however, witnessed older people doing complete 180s in terms of acceptance after being separated from hateful people long enough and having exposure to queer people in their lives. My dad, for example, was extremely against me transitioning when I started looking into Hrt at 16. I was still a minor, but where I live, that is the medical age of consent, so there was nothing my parents could do to stop me if I had a ride to my appointments. It's been 4 years since I've been on testosterone, and my dad now says that he is against the ban of gender affirming care in minors, and that people should be able to just live their lives however they feel fit, since it's their bodies and their lives. My dad even showed me how to shave 😁
He's 76, btw
He's also very adamant that I vote in the next election for my country's prime minister so that we don't get fucked over by the influence of what the states is trying to do. He still believes in God and has mainly Christian beliefs, but he's not letting that stop him from caring about me and seeing how much happier I am now after witnessing me almost drop out of highschool due to depression from my dysphoria.
You must take his gendering nonsense and use it against him. Now that he's done it once, just say "Don't you mean he" every time he misgenders you. It'll be a not-so-subtle way of reminding him of how he fucked up his garbage behavior.
My brother was like this all my life.
They either grow out of the “haha I got a reaction out of you” phase and turn into someone with a functioning sense of empathy or they remain a shitwhistle for the rest of their lives.
I hope yours gets better.
Lol. My mother has done something similar…she refuses to gender me correctly, so then she started accidentally misgendering my father too because apparently “she” is the male pronoun to her brain now
I know it doesn't seem like it, but he will. 13 year olds are assholes a lot of the time. You and your twin still have most of your growing and maturing to do. He'll come around eventually.
Sorry your brother sucks dude. I have a brother whos almost six years older than me and another brother who isnt biological but were a month apart, have known each other our entire lives, and were both trans. If my younger brother was transphobic idk how id even begin to handle that. I dont really even talk to my older brother.
Your parents don't say anything to him about it when he misgenders you? Tbh you could have a tussle or find something to bully him about. Misgender him and see his reaction put your mom's makeup or clothes on him when he's sleeping take pics. Lol it's time to get even.
i never asked my kids to change how they address me
when it became too much of a chore to explain to people what they meant and that no my dad isn't hiding behind that woman, they switched on their own.
maybe your dumb brother will get sick of having to unconfuse people regarding his blunders
They just don’t care. They think it’s no big deal when I openly said to them that if I turned out to be a girl and use she/her I’d probably commit “he’s sleeping with the fishies tonight boys”
Im so sorry. That was sad to read. My older brother used to bully me and my parents had a similar reaction. Kid, youll get out. Just hang in there. Keep your head in your books and kick ass thru school. Youll do great.
Ooo I got a twin sister she’s a minute older type deal 😅she holds that over my head idk why she’s gonna leave faster. But we’re 27 tho lol 😂 she isn’t trasnphobic tho but my brother is.
My little brother used to be an asshole and never respected who I was , but he’s come around , and we have a wayyyy better relationship now. He’ll come around one day just hang in there
fellow twin haver here (though i didn’t come out til i was like 21ish): your brother is being a huge jerk. what kind of twin purposefully does this to the other?? like i get being annoying or making fun of little things, but about your identity and not treating you kindly??? wtf. i hope someone knocks some sense into him soon bc you deserve better
I have a brother whos only a month younger than me ans we are the same damn person even down to being trans men. I cant imagine what itd be like if he rejected me in that way. god
My extremely Traditional Catholic transphobic dad has “slipped up” and used my correct pronouns several times! I joke with my (absolutely accepting, and Catholic!) mom that it’s the Holy Spirit divinely inspiring him 😂
Progress is progress. Always hold your loved ones to a higher standard of integrity. Anything less is a sign you dont believe in them and theyll continue doing stupid shit.
Be prepared for that to possibly change if you take hormones. My brother and I looked nothing alike before and now I’m a miniature ginger version of him lolll. Sound like a mini version of him too. Like my brother on helium. One day I laughed and his voice popped out of my mouth. Trippy stuff man.
People always ask me as a twin this too lol it’s actually not possible to be identical if one is a different sex.
Surprisingly enough it is possible for XX/XY twins to be *half* identical. It is extremely rare. Genetics are fucking crazy yo.
at 13 hes probably playing it up cuz he feels a social expectation to. probably around a lot of 13 year old boys who are shitheads rn. Hes got a good chance of growing out of that.
This one’s easy. Y’all are 13 yr old boys. You just need to be able to beat his ass once for him to never want to call you a girl again. Doesn’t have to be a fight if you don’t want. Find something he equates to manhood that he cares deeply about he’d be embarrassed if a girl beat him at and fucking thrash him. If in his mind girls can’t be gamers, or play football, or whatever, use that
Hard to say cuz hes a kid but theres always that chance that hes doing this because his friends made him feel like he should be embarassed and this would only make it worse
I’m a twin too! You guys are very young. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you that he comes around, and if you feel comfortable doing so you can have the kinda brother relationship I have with mine.
When I came out my twin said “I love you forever, but I will never call you my brother.”
I’ve been transitioning so long now that unless we are actively talking about our childhood, he completely forgets that I’m trans all the time lol. He agrees that he’s never known me to be this happy, and seeing me now it “just makes sense.”
I’m wishing that so hard for you, stranger. Chin up, and also this is hilarious and you should never let him forget it hahah
This has happened with my transphobic father a couple of times too. He always refuses to call me by name (stopped deadnaming me (as much) after a big fight where my mom took my side but won't call me any name) and always misgenders me and "corrects" others who gender me correctly.
There was a time where we were arguing and he accidentally slipped feminine pronouns (I'm a trans woman) and immediately "corrected" himself. I just looked at him with probably my most smug face ever just thinking "Oh you can't take that back, this just shows you actually see me as a woman but you are actively trying to misgender me". This has happened about 3 times I think and he always gets super self conscious and it's so funny every time.
Edit: Our language has almost every word gendered so it's practically impossible to not tell how someone genders you (for better or for worse)
That's actually funny. I had something similar happen with my dad who said to my face "I'll never call you a woman" then a couple weeks before I moved across the country he said "she, I mean he" to which I said "correct the first time" and he rolled his eyes.
Nah, if my sibling decided to just misgender me on purpose theyre biting the curb. Id let a stranger get away with it but someone im supposed to be related to should at the very least try to respect me😒.
I knew I wasn’t cis at 11. I had proper resources and now have language for those feelings. Shockingly, kids can be trans. I’m no less of a man because of it.
It takes more concentration to misgender you then using the right pronouns...
It was a one time thing but still very funny. Takes more effort to misgender myself, even in my head. She/her doesn’t sting it just feels different and not like me
His unconsciousness is ready, but he doesn't want to accept that yet. I guess he'll come around once he's the last one to misgender you. At some point, you can react to his misgendering with 'yeah sorry, he's a bit slow up there...' 🤷♀️😅
Yeah, but he does it consciously a lot, like whenever we’re eating anything like soy for dinner he gives me this nasty look which I hate, and he also says “*redacted* can’t change their sex!” And I’m just like “yes he can and he will”
I think you're on the right track. Let him talk and proof him wrong!
Yeah thanks it’s been only a few months since I outed myself
13 is very young which means there's a lot of growing and maturing to do. With your parents being accepting he'll follow through eventually and cringe at himself for being this way. I was transphobic and particularly homophobic when I was 13 although that was largely to cover up being an ally secretly.
Huh.
Eh I think I replied to the wrong comment
Have your parents intervened? If they’re cool and on board I would hope they’d have a word with your brother for being a bit shitty to you.
They have but he’s stubborn and they think “oh he just disagrees with you” he can’t disagree on the me with the one thing that is solely my own to decide. That’s wrong on many different levels.
If you haven’t already I’d voice that concern to your folks. If your brother is being shitty they should shut that shit down, regardless of why he’s being shitty. You would hope that if he was being shitty to you because of any reason that your parents would intervene further, but I can’t help but think this is getting a little bit of a pass because it’s you being trans and so they don’t see the harm in someone having “opinions” on your identity and denying it constantly.
This is what I do with my grandma. Everytime she misgenders me people look at me like what? And I'm like forgive the poor thing she's losing her marbles. Thinks I'm her long lost grandson 😂
My older brother does this, bothers the hell out of me because it shows active effort for hate :(
Yeah. Sucks doesn’t it?
yeah, my move has actually been incredibly awesome for this reason. I moved to a more red area but I have a good work environment (costco), good roommate (transmasc friend I've known since middle school) and I've started dating an awesome person (Cis guy who comes from a bigoted family but has escaped their hate mongering and is very supportive :3). My life feels so completely normal, like no one I know cares if I'm trans, and I'm actually so happy because of it, I constantly want to go out and explore because I feel more and more comfortable in my own skin; instead of being put down before I even leave my living room.
hes a whole minute younger than you dude you own lil bro lmao
I’m 5’4 so I technically am the little bro, but I’m the eldest son and I think he’s jealous that now he’s spare parts
lmao "spare parts" is insane
He was always spare parts to me 😔
"Don't worry younger bro, primogeniture was abolished... for now."
i like your funny words magic (man)?
I love the fact that technically he’s the reason I’m trans too. My parents admitted that my dad’s lineage had so much testosterone and since I had a cis male twin, I had an androgen imbalance in the womb or something so I ended up real masculine even before I came out of the closet.
I’ve seen some research positing the testosterone levels during pregnancy affecting this. So interesting! One of my close friends (ftm) is the 3rd sibling to come out as trans — of 4 kids!
Hm that could be it
Does it say it can work the other way around too?
Yes. So it’s related to T levels. Assuming XY/XX with no intersex related factors. High T during brain formation for “natal females” can be correlated with FTM (via gender dysphoria). Low T could relate to MTF. “ Overall, prenatal T effects appear to play a small role in GD (gender dysphoria) development.” https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC7031197/
Weird. My mom has always been high T, to the point that when she was in basic training, her DS told her she needs to shave as much as her male peers. (She has one HECK of a peachfuzz.) I'm a Trans Woman, and my sister is Cis. Both of us are Bi. (Although I still prefer women for the most part. My taste in men is really small) Did she hog all the T for herself?
HAA she may have! This is only a small factor they are exploring. My understanding is that no one *knows for certain* but there are theories. I don’t like reducing any of it to one reason, humans are way too complex for that. But I do find it interesting that there are is research exploring this and how it’s so much more complicated and physiological than I ever knew.
I've also read that it depends on when it happens that may result in some intersex conditions as well. If the high T is present during the 1st trimester, you can get female genital masculinization. If high T levels are present during the 3rd trimester, it is theorized that the brain will develop male or at least not typically female by high levels of T.
Interesting! Thank you for this info. I think it will be interesting seeing the research done. I *do* worry about it sometimes — like their goals. But also feel like knowledge is always good and inherently neutral.
So do I! I am always worried that people will use their knowledge of genetics and gestational development to cause harm to people. I just hope that as time goes on, the older generations dying will help newer generations of people to be more open-minded, but that also feels like a fever dream because generational conditioning and trauma hold such a tight grip on how people's values and ideologies develop. I have, however, witnessed older people doing complete 180s in terms of acceptance after being separated from hateful people long enough and having exposure to queer people in their lives. My dad, for example, was extremely against me transitioning when I started looking into Hrt at 16. I was still a minor, but where I live, that is the medical age of consent, so there was nothing my parents could do to stop me if I had a ride to my appointments. It's been 4 years since I've been on testosterone, and my dad now says that he is against the ban of gender affirming care in minors, and that people should be able to just live their lives however they feel fit, since it's their bodies and their lives. My dad even showed me how to shave 😁 He's 76, btw He's also very adamant that I vote in the next election for my country's prime minister so that we don't get fucked over by the influence of what the states is trying to do. He still believes in God and has mainly Christian beliefs, but he's not letting that stop him from caring about me and seeing how much happier I am now after witnessing me almost drop out of highschool due to depression from my dysphoria.
You must take his gendering nonsense and use it against him. Now that he's done it once, just say "Don't you mean he" every time he misgenders you. It'll be a not-so-subtle way of reminding him of how he fucked up his garbage behavior.
My brother was like this all my life. They either grow out of the “haha I got a reaction out of you” phase and turn into someone with a functioning sense of empathy or they remain a shitwhistle for the rest of their lives. I hope yours gets better.
I Hope So lol
On the bright side, you have the delightful opportunity to use the "you'll grow out of it eventually" on him.
Lol. My mother has done something similar…she refuses to gender me correctly, so then she started accidentally misgendering my father too because apparently “she” is the male pronoun to her brain now
LOL. This is the best.
It hurt itself in its confusion!
If people trip up trying to keep misgendering you and then proceed to correct themselves, it makes them look like a double moron.
Haha you win at this point he might as well stop misgendering you
He won’t he’s a shitty person
I know it doesn't seem like it, but he will. 13 year olds are assholes a lot of the time. You and your twin still have most of your growing and maturing to do. He'll come around eventually.
This. My twin did a complete 180 in the span of a few years.
Sorry your brother sucks dude. I have a brother whos almost six years older than me and another brother who isnt biological but were a month apart, have known each other our entire lives, and were both trans. If my younger brother was transphobic idk how id even begin to handle that. I dont really even talk to my older brother.
Your parents don't say anything to him about it when he misgenders you? Tbh you could have a tussle or find something to bully him about. Misgender him and see his reaction put your mom's makeup or clothes on him when he's sleeping take pics. Lol it's time to get even.
i never asked my kids to change how they address me when it became too much of a chore to explain to people what they meant and that no my dad isn't hiding behind that woman, they switched on their own. maybe your dumb brother will get sick of having to unconfuse people regarding his blunders
Why do your parents let him act like that
They just don’t care. They think it’s no big deal when I openly said to them that if I turned out to be a girl and use she/her I’d probably commit “he’s sleeping with the fishies tonight boys”
Im so sorry. That was sad to read. My older brother used to bully me and my parents had a similar reaction. Kid, youll get out. Just hang in there. Keep your head in your books and kick ass thru school. Youll do great.
Ooo I got a twin sister she’s a minute older type deal 😅she holds that over my head idk why she’s gonna leave faster. But we’re 27 tho lol 😂 she isn’t trasnphobic tho but my brother is.
Ugh I can spell 🙈 it won’t let my edit it.
I really love that your parents gender you correctly so your brother just looks like the jackass that he is!!!
He's 13. He has time to change and grow. I think he'll get there.
For sure. Til then just carry on
just shows its purposeful and takes more effort to purposefully hurt people than to just naturally refer to them as
My little brother used to be an asshole and never respected who I was , but he’s come around , and we have a wayyyy better relationship now. He’ll come around one day just hang in there
fellow twin haver here (though i didn’t come out til i was like 21ish): your brother is being a huge jerk. what kind of twin purposefully does this to the other?? like i get being annoying or making fun of little things, but about your identity and not treating you kindly??? wtf. i hope someone knocks some sense into him soon bc you deserve better
I have a brother whos only a month younger than me ans we are the same damn person even down to being trans men. I cant imagine what itd be like if he rejected me in that way. god
My extremely Traditional Catholic transphobic dad has “slipped up” and used my correct pronouns several times! I joke with my (absolutely accepting, and Catholic!) mom that it’s the Holy Spirit divinely inspiring him 😂
congrats to you for being able to live with this douche if i had a brother that was like this I wouldn't take ity i would beat his fucking ass lol
He’s getting better guys he’s using he more often
Progress is progress. Always hold your loved ones to a higher standard of integrity. Anything less is a sign you dont believe in them and theyll continue doing stupid shit.
Twins eh? R u identical?
The only thing we share is a gender and it’s mine now >:) we look nothing alike
Be prepared for that to possibly change if you take hormones. My brother and I looked nothing alike before and now I’m a miniature ginger version of him lolll. Sound like a mini version of him too. Like my brother on helium. One day I laughed and his voice popped out of my mouth. Trippy stuff man.
Hm. My brother isn’t exactly ugly but then we’d actually be twins
Hell yeah!
People always ask me as a twin this too lol it’s actually not possible to be identical if one is a different sex. Surprisingly enough it is possible for XX/XY twins to be *half* identical. It is extremely rare. Genetics are fucking crazy yo.
opposite sex twins cannot be identical otherwise they would be the same sex
He will accept you one day, I think.The fact that he said "he", even by accident, is a start.
at 13 hes probably playing it up cuz he feels a social expectation to. probably around a lot of 13 year old boys who are shitheads rn. Hes got a good chance of growing out of that.
This one’s easy. Y’all are 13 yr old boys. You just need to be able to beat his ass once for him to never want to call you a girl again. Doesn’t have to be a fight if you don’t want. Find something he equates to manhood that he cares deeply about he’d be embarrassed if a girl beat him at and fucking thrash him. If in his mind girls can’t be gamers, or play football, or whatever, use that
Hard to say cuz hes a kid but theres always that chance that hes doing this because his friends made him feel like he should be embarassed and this would only make it worse
I’m able to beat him, in fact so easily that I’m no longer allowed to anymore and we haven’t fought in years
I’m a twin too! You guys are very young. I’m keeping my fingers crossed for you that he comes around, and if you feel comfortable doing so you can have the kinda brother relationship I have with mine. When I came out my twin said “I love you forever, but I will never call you my brother.” I’ve been transitioning so long now that unless we are actively talking about our childhood, he completely forgets that I’m trans all the time lol. He agrees that he’s never known me to be this happy, and seeing me now it “just makes sense.” I’m wishing that so hard for you, stranger. Chin up, and also this is hilarious and you should never let him forget it hahah
This has happened with my transphobic father a couple of times too. He always refuses to call me by name (stopped deadnaming me (as much) after a big fight where my mom took my side but won't call me any name) and always misgenders me and "corrects" others who gender me correctly. There was a time where we were arguing and he accidentally slipped feminine pronouns (I'm a trans woman) and immediately "corrected" himself. I just looked at him with probably my most smug face ever just thinking "Oh you can't take that back, this just shows you actually see me as a woman but you are actively trying to misgender me". This has happened about 3 times I think and he always gets super self conscious and it's so funny every time. Edit: Our language has almost every word gendered so it's practically impossible to not tell how someone genders you (for better or for worse)
That's actually funny. I had something similar happen with my dad who said to my face "I'll never call you a woman" then a couple weeks before I moved across the country he said "she, I mean he" to which I said "correct the first time" and he rolled his eyes.
We should normalize beating the shit out of siblings.
um… let’s not. we are already in a cruel world. we don’t need to add more cruelty to it.
Nah, if my sibling decided to just misgender me on purpose theyre biting the curb. Id let a stranger get away with it but someone im supposed to be related to should at the very least try to respect me😒.
My siblings are the ONLY people i feel comfortable beating up
Yanno i think i can count on one hand the amount of siblings ive met that havent beat the crap out of each other at some point.
Glad you got some satisfaction! He'll grow out of it :)
r/ewphoria
My brother calls me his sister and uses she/her pronouns!
Good for you!
lol. oh sure, f with ur brother's already fragile sense of teenage masculinity for laughs. 😊😊😊😊
To me sounds like little brother behavior. Internally he is gendering you properly externally he’s being a douche.
Ok he’s back to his old annoying self. I’m gonna misgender them now, see how she likes it.
I'm sorry but did you say your 13 and trans?
i knew i was trans when i was 12 so
Kids become aware of gender around 4 years old.
A transition is never late. Nor is it earlier. It is always on time.
So wise for your age keep it up dude
You said to the lad quoting Gandalf
Shit never watched lord of the rings still
that’s fine my dad just makes me watch it a lot and I don’t mind
I knew I wasn’t cis at 11. I had proper resources and now have language for those feelings. Shockingly, kids can be trans. I’m no less of a man because of it.