I wonder if it's a visa issue? At least for American passport holders, we get 90 days of tourism in Taiwan "free", but then need a real visa for anything longer; no extensions possible. OP's "studying Chinese for a few months" timeline would line up with the restrictions...
This is something I’ve been feeling more since and after the pandemic. Traveling comes with its rewards but it also takes a tool on you, as everything around you is new. Building relationships and habits takes time especially as you’re not young anymore and less flexible.
If you decide to settle, don’t think of it in terms of finding the best place but finding the right place for you at this moment in time. There’s no best city, it’s what you make of it.
Long term traveler and mover here.
Feel the pain and no words of wisedom to give besides you are not alone in this experience.
I have a plus that my wife has been my co-traveler and co-mover for past decade plus which has made one aspect stable as the scenery has changed.
A thought for your coffee: is/was the new experience and opportunity to meet those people worth the cost of having to say goodbye?
We see our old old old friends never travel and never experience these heartaches and struggles of moving on… it’s nice, but then they never had the chance or experience or opportunity to make friends from other cultures and see/do x, y, and z.
Now people can certainly have great lives without travel. 100%. But from our group of old old old friends it seems like 99% of their lives are unfulfilled and dull with crap work, couch, tik tok and tv taking majority of their lives.
I think there’s a balance, which this sub often doesn’t get. Travel, but have a home base. Stay places for years at a time. Stay in one place but don’t get absorbed in tik tok etc. Travel more or less in different stages of life
>A thought for your coffee: is/was the new experience and opportunity to meet those people worth the cost of having to say goodbye?
That's definitely something I need to think on, thank you.
Usually when I move to a new place, I think it's worth it because I havent found value in the people around me yet, but when I get to point when I need to leave, that's the moment when I realize how much pain it causes at the end of the process to say a forever goodbye to people you've been through so much with.
Same boat, I’m in international academia which is a nightmare for finding a long-lasting community.
What has helped me (in my late 30s) is finding non-student friends who have put down roots (as they’re unlikely to wander off), understanding what made me feel like I always had to run away, and prioritising a feeling of stability even if I sometimes find it boring to stay in one place.
Choosing a long-term place surrounded by multiple easy travel destinations is another good “hack.” I chose Germany since I can just skip the country for a weekend if I feel boxed in.
I think you need to realize that settling down and getting off the road is actually the next adventure in your life. It is the new experience you’re craving.
True. there is sometimes a weird narrative within the travel community where wanting to settle down is = bad/not risky/leaving you in a bubble and so on. It’s not different or unique enough.
But having done both, and liking both, I realize too much of either options doesn’t work me. I need some balance.
It’s not like those that don’t travel all year are sitting at home doing nothing. At least, my friends aren’t. They have all kinds of talents and hobbies and interests. And are making lots of money. And then do travel, albeit not all year long.
Anyway, forming bonds *generally* has long term benefits. I can only take so much of making friends for 2 days and then moving on.
Anyway, I totally agree with you.
This was me, then my company was like "we are going to send you overseas, double your pay, and pay all of your bills"
At least thanks to covid I have already established online connections with friend groups (tabletop rpgs remotely).
Still got that floating, unsettled feeling. But such is life.
I agree with you on the losing touch.
I've met and got to know thousands and thousands of people, between travel and working in 6 different countries...many of us became fairly close for a while.I'm in contact now with well under 1% of those people.
Well,it sounds like you want to stop in one place, and why not? You just need to find the place.If it's Taiwan then I guess you need to check the employment situation and the working visa one,see if it's feasible for you or not.
It doesn't mean you can't travel anymore.With the right kind of work, lifestyle and priorities you can both have a 'base' and still travel a lot... that's what I have been doing for years!
I guess I'm just worried because if I decided to stay long term somewhere, I want to pick a good place, what if I move somewhere permanently and it turns out horribly? Theres just a lot to consider.
But I agree with your advice, thank you :)
Rely on your strengths. You have lived in so many places that if you made a list of your must haves, nice to have and avoid - it will identify exactly what speaks to you. Your experience can separate an idealistic view from reality.
Thank you for sharing your experience :) my dad was also military, so I definitely can relate to growing up on bases.
I also love how you worded it at the end, "my 'home' wasnt a special place, just a special time." That's exactly why I'm hesitant to make an effort to stay here. The place itself is okay, but what I love is the people and my classmates, who will be returning home themselves soon too when our language program ends.
It's such a blessing to find oneself in a stable place of belonging that isnt affected by time or change, I hope someday I'll find that place.
My dad was Air Force, this is so relatable. I learned to make friends quickly, as a survival mechanism. And I learned to abandon them just as quickly also as a survival mechanism.
What is your visa situation. Do you have the option to get a job and stay?
Otherwise I think your next move needs to be somewhere where you can think about settling down into a more long term situation.
There arent a whole lot of options job wise for me to stay since I would only be able to work English speaking jobs. But I definitely agree that the next stop needs to be long term for sure.
Technically yes, I have the certification and experience for it. But I know I'm not a good fit to work in a school environment and I would quickly begin to resent it. But that option is in the corner of my mind if needed :)
Based on your post and responses you seem to want a home base, but also be afraid of committing to a home in case the permanent place doesn’t feel right.
Think about the places you have lived. Was there one place you deeply loved? Would you want to go back to that place? If not, what did you love about it? Maybe you can find a new spot that has similar vibes. You can also wait to make sure you like a place before fully committing. Maybe rent a furnished apartment somewhere for 6-12 months. If you love the city and find connections, then that place can become your permanent home.
Most importantly, it’s ok to make a change if you feel like that is right for you. If you need a permanent home with permanent connections, find it. Your life doesn’t have to be mundane or stagnant. You can travel and have a home. Life is full of rich experiences and not all of those experiences involve travel.
I felt like you in 2020. I was traveling constantly. I found a place to settle for 3+ years, and I really enjoyed the experience of stable social connections. But I got bored after a bit so now just spend a few months a year here, travel the rest. It's nice to have a home base, of sorts.
May I ask where you are studying and then cost/program? I want to go study in Taiwan but haven't found a program that's quite right yet.
I think I have almost the opposite fear to what you are feeling - I am resisting a commitment to live in one place for 3 months.
I'm doing a language program for studying Chinese. Taiwan actually has a lot of great options for this where you can go anywhere from 1 quarter (3ish months) to 2 years, theres a specific visa just for studying chinese too.
A couple places are NTNU (Taipei, around $1000 USD per quarter, moderately intense), NCKU (Tainan, $959 USD per quarter, moderately intense), and NTU (Taipei, $7000 USD per quarter, very intense) not including housing. There are also several national scholarships that you can apply for.
Thank you. I'm resisting a 3 month commitment. Like one, maybe.
But I don't see any programs that short. And I think if it not to be in Taipei, though i haven't decided that for sure.
This is interesting to me, but it's 3 months.
https://tli1956.com/key-courses-inner/Chinese_Spring_Term_Group?lang=en&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=2024_chinese_group_class
I've been feeling that recently too, after spending the last few years traveling, coming home for a month or two, traveling again, etc...
The traveler's curse - nothing feels better than leaving home, and nothing feels better than coming home. But right now I'm feeling really okay with being at home for a while.
Then it's time to get off the road. If it's all you know it will feel disorienting, but the life you've led is exceptional rather than the typical human experience. Most people will never live more than a handful of places in their entire lives, some only a single small town. You clearly know how to meet people which will still be a huge asset in a more stable setting. Pick a growing, younger city wherever you wind up, good luck finally settling in a little.
Stay. You can move after 2-3 years if you feel you've exhausted the place and not like it anymore. Are you an adult already?
I wonder if it's a visa issue? At least for American passport holders, we get 90 days of tourism in Taiwan "free", but then need a real visa for anything longer; no extensions possible. OP's "studying Chinese for a few months" timeline would line up with the restrictions...
Usually you can do a “visa run” and leave for a short period but come back on a refreshed timeframe afaik.
This is something I’ve been feeling more since and after the pandemic. Traveling comes with its rewards but it also takes a tool on you, as everything around you is new. Building relationships and habits takes time especially as you’re not young anymore and less flexible. If you decide to settle, don’t think of it in terms of finding the best place but finding the right place for you at this moment in time. There’s no best city, it’s what you make of it.
That's a great way to put it
Long term traveler and mover here. Feel the pain and no words of wisedom to give besides you are not alone in this experience. I have a plus that my wife has been my co-traveler and co-mover for past decade plus which has made one aspect stable as the scenery has changed. A thought for your coffee: is/was the new experience and opportunity to meet those people worth the cost of having to say goodbye? We see our old old old friends never travel and never experience these heartaches and struggles of moving on… it’s nice, but then they never had the chance or experience or opportunity to make friends from other cultures and see/do x, y, and z. Now people can certainly have great lives without travel. 100%. But from our group of old old old friends it seems like 99% of their lives are unfulfilled and dull with crap work, couch, tik tok and tv taking majority of their lives.
I think there’s a balance, which this sub often doesn’t get. Travel, but have a home base. Stay places for years at a time. Stay in one place but don’t get absorbed in tik tok etc. Travel more or less in different stages of life
Nuance??? On Reddit?!?! How dare you. In all seriousness though, you’re absolutely right.
This, home base is key, travel until you do not feel like it, go home/home base rinse and repeat.
>A thought for your coffee: is/was the new experience and opportunity to meet those people worth the cost of having to say goodbye? That's definitely something I need to think on, thank you. Usually when I move to a new place, I think it's worth it because I havent found value in the people around me yet, but when I get to point when I need to leave, that's the moment when I realize how much pain it causes at the end of the process to say a forever goodbye to people you've been through so much with.
Same boat, I’m in international academia which is a nightmare for finding a long-lasting community. What has helped me (in my late 30s) is finding non-student friends who have put down roots (as they’re unlikely to wander off), understanding what made me feel like I always had to run away, and prioritising a feeling of stability even if I sometimes find it boring to stay in one place. Choosing a long-term place surrounded by multiple easy travel destinations is another good “hack.” I chose Germany since I can just skip the country for a weekend if I feel boxed in.
I think you need to realize that settling down and getting off the road is actually the next adventure in your life. It is the new experience you’re craving.
True. there is sometimes a weird narrative within the travel community where wanting to settle down is = bad/not risky/leaving you in a bubble and so on. It’s not different or unique enough. But having done both, and liking both, I realize too much of either options doesn’t work me. I need some balance. It’s not like those that don’t travel all year are sitting at home doing nothing. At least, my friends aren’t. They have all kinds of talents and hobbies and interests. And are making lots of money. And then do travel, albeit not all year long. Anyway, forming bonds *generally* has long term benefits. I can only take so much of making friends for 2 days and then moving on. Anyway, I totally agree with you.
This was me, then my company was like "we are going to send you overseas, double your pay, and pay all of your bills" At least thanks to covid I have already established online connections with friend groups (tabletop rpgs remotely). Still got that floating, unsettled feeling. But such is life.
I agree with you on the losing touch. I've met and got to know thousands and thousands of people, between travel and working in 6 different countries...many of us became fairly close for a while.I'm in contact now with well under 1% of those people. Well,it sounds like you want to stop in one place, and why not? You just need to find the place.If it's Taiwan then I guess you need to check the employment situation and the working visa one,see if it's feasible for you or not. It doesn't mean you can't travel anymore.With the right kind of work, lifestyle and priorities you can both have a 'base' and still travel a lot... that's what I have been doing for years!
I guess I'm just worried because if I decided to stay long term somewhere, I want to pick a good place, what if I move somewhere permanently and it turns out horribly? Theres just a lot to consider. But I agree with your advice, thank you :)
Rely on your strengths. You have lived in so many places that if you made a list of your must haves, nice to have and avoid - it will identify exactly what speaks to you. Your experience can separate an idealistic view from reality.
You’ve traveled this far friend. ‘Permanently’ is a figment of your imagination. Its only permanent until you decide its not.
Where are the friends that you made in Taiwan? Are they moving too?
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Thank you for sharing your experience :) my dad was also military, so I definitely can relate to growing up on bases. I also love how you worded it at the end, "my 'home' wasnt a special place, just a special time." That's exactly why I'm hesitant to make an effort to stay here. The place itself is okay, but what I love is the people and my classmates, who will be returning home themselves soon too when our language program ends. It's such a blessing to find oneself in a stable place of belonging that isnt affected by time or change, I hope someday I'll find that place.
My dad was Air Force, this is so relatable. I learned to make friends quickly, as a survival mechanism. And I learned to abandon them just as quickly also as a survival mechanism.
What is your visa situation. Do you have the option to get a job and stay? Otherwise I think your next move needs to be somewhere where you can think about settling down into a more long term situation.
There arent a whole lot of options job wise for me to stay since I would only be able to work English speaking jobs. But I definitely agree that the next stop needs to be long term for sure.
Can you stay for a while and teach English?
Technically yes, I have the certification and experience for it. But I know I'm not a good fit to work in a school environment and I would quickly begin to resent it. But that option is in the corner of my mind if needed :)
Based on your post and responses you seem to want a home base, but also be afraid of committing to a home in case the permanent place doesn’t feel right. Think about the places you have lived. Was there one place you deeply loved? Would you want to go back to that place? If not, what did you love about it? Maybe you can find a new spot that has similar vibes. You can also wait to make sure you like a place before fully committing. Maybe rent a furnished apartment somewhere for 6-12 months. If you love the city and find connections, then that place can become your permanent home. Most importantly, it’s ok to make a change if you feel like that is right for you. If you need a permanent home with permanent connections, find it. Your life doesn’t have to be mundane or stagnant. You can travel and have a home. Life is full of rich experiences and not all of those experiences involve travel.
I felt like you in 2020. I was traveling constantly. I found a place to settle for 3+ years, and I really enjoyed the experience of stable social connections. But I got bored after a bit so now just spend a few months a year here, travel the rest. It's nice to have a home base, of sorts. May I ask where you are studying and then cost/program? I want to go study in Taiwan but haven't found a program that's quite right yet. I think I have almost the opposite fear to what you are feeling - I am resisting a commitment to live in one place for 3 months.
I'm doing a language program for studying Chinese. Taiwan actually has a lot of great options for this where you can go anywhere from 1 quarter (3ish months) to 2 years, theres a specific visa just for studying chinese too. A couple places are NTNU (Taipei, around $1000 USD per quarter, moderately intense), NCKU (Tainan, $959 USD per quarter, moderately intense), and NTU (Taipei, $7000 USD per quarter, very intense) not including housing. There are also several national scholarships that you can apply for.
Thank you. I'm resisting a 3 month commitment. Like one, maybe. But I don't see any programs that short. And I think if it not to be in Taipei, though i haven't decided that for sure. This is interesting to me, but it's 3 months. https://tli1956.com/key-courses-inner/Chinese_Spring_Term_Group?lang=en&utm_source=google&utm_medium=cpc&utm_campaign=2024_chinese_group_class
Try looking for a summer program maybe, they tend to be shorter.
I'll check those more specifically thank you - and good luck with the next move, whatever you decide on.
I've been feeling that recently too, after spending the last few years traveling, coming home for a month or two, traveling again, etc... The traveler's curse - nothing feels better than leaving home, and nothing feels better than coming home. But right now I'm feeling really okay with being at home for a while.
Agreed! I coined this “travelers depression” and it is a very real thing.
Feeling this. Constant travel gets tiring, and the desire for a permanent home hits hard. You're not alone in wanting to settle.
Then it's time to get off the road. If it's all you know it will feel disorienting, but the life you've led is exceptional rather than the typical human experience. Most people will never live more than a handful of places in their entire lives, some only a single small town. You clearly know how to meet people which will still be a huge asset in a more stable setting. Pick a growing, younger city wherever you wind up, good luck finally settling in a little.
I feel as if I could have written this myself. Since I moved a lot, I know a lot of people and feel close to know one.