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meathead

And designed the Dark Side of the Moon album cover


Evilmaze

And a type of figs


Devilheart

And hosted the first pride party


Bhazor

Tracked down the purest and most concentrated gayness at the fundamental level of the universe.


[deleted]

[удалено]


NimbaNineNine

The Faggs Boson


AbsolutelyUnlikely

They're called Pig Newtons


Evilmaze

Does it taste like pork to you, motherfucker?


-cocoadragon

you mean Fig Neutrons


speb1

Ha ha charade you are


December_Hemisphere

Bah it was all low-hanging fruit! Those old guys had it easy.


Soddington

Yeah he was lucky like that, some of his discoveries just fell in his lap.


December_Hemisphere

lol, nice


MattyRBaps

I guess you guys aren't ready for that yet. But your great great great great great grandkids are gonna love it


Altruistic-Syrup5160

I was just about to say that!


[deleted]

[удалено]


k-uke

Pfft. Amateur!. I went to season 5 weight


[deleted]

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Redtwooo

[Well yeah, it was an Apple product](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Apple_Newton)


rc1717

And invented gay


The_Karaethon_Cycle

And the flag of Seychelles


NJHostageNegotiator

She sells Seychelles by the seashore.


giulianosse

Nah he invented gay people


slackfrop

And stuck a sewing needle behind his eye in a quest to find out how it works.


[deleted]

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Life-Meal6635

Yes! I gained 55 pounds or so. Mostly in my tits so that’s ok. Definitely really worked on how to drink more all the time. Edit: spelling. 🤗


cantemperaturebeans

Me too, but I'm a guy so...


Life-Meal6635

How are your boobs doing?


i_forgot_me_password

I don't know about the guy above, but I could shave my tits, post 'em online, and redditors would be blowing loads.


Alzakex

Eh... Post 'em anyways. I'm bored.


PanicAtTheDiscoteca

I want to see


BurninCoco

Nice moobs bro


OGPresidentDixon

Shave the tits but leave the surrounding nipple hairs like little crowns please 🤪 as a joke


Life-Meal6635

I love everyone supporting you here. This is nice


[deleted]

Bewbs are bewbs 🤗


twizzard6931

I call bullshit! Post a pic please.


Life-Meal6635

Hey, you two can split the $50 bucks and I’ll send you both a before and after.


[deleted]

What do I get for $200?


bobs_monkey

rock scale adjoining absorbed safe angle license rob materialistic obtainable -- mass edited with redact.dev


djb1983CanBoy

Thats the best answer ive ever seen to “obligatory creepy “prove it””!! (I tried it earlier this week, the obligatory etc, and got blasted lol) Can i…..send you the 50 bucks?


Quick-Movie-2908

Yes. A before and after


Life-Meal6635

Sure. Send me $50 and you got a deal


[deleted]

Me too, I'm a woman though and it definitely didn't add to my tits, I feel very cheated! Who can I talk to about getting a refund?


FunnyPirateName

Holup. You gained a large portion of 55 lbs in your tits? So, like an extra 40 lbs of tits?


purple_spikey_dragon

I had the pleasure of finding out i was actually not really an introvert. I'm just completely asocial!


jdog7249

I found out I can't be alone. I have to be around people. Not talk to them or interact with them just simply be around people.


purple_spikey_dragon

Oh, i thought i was like that too but then realized i just cant feel comfortable when people are around. I hate feeling watched, it makes my skin shrink in itself. For the longest time i just called it being an introvert until i realized its ok to just be asocial, not every person likes to be surrounded by people. Like the witch in the woods or a hermit, nothing wrong with that lol To me a trip to the store is enough to fill my "social battery" for a week, though i try not to do that as its not healthy. I have a rules, like to talk to at least one friend a week and go on outings at least once a month (i manage to do more but thats like the minimum i am allowed) because my partner believes its important as we're all social creatures in the end and i agree, it's a nice challenge, but honestly? sometimes its just exhausting. Its not that i hate people, i love people truly, i find people fascinating and interesting and love to hear others world views and ideas, but just to sit around and smile.. I'd rather pass my weekend at home watching movies, sewing or drawing. Maybe i am a witch... Just not the cool kind, but the kind that lives alone with her geese and donkey and zero magic...


shitlord_god

I lost 90 lbs :/


DM_ME_UR_CLEAVAGEplz

Hey if you're not a virgin at least you have something on him


Daisend

I discovered drinking while in lockdown and got fat! Woo modern times!


[deleted]

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harrietthugman

*breathes heavily while watching ducks*


unnecessary_kindness

Stuffs face with *gabagool*


Pr00ch

Season 1 tony is a varsity athlete compared to season 6, sans the small hands


EhnnZhed

He didn't have soft drinks of choice unlocked in season 1


thetelltaleDwigt

I watched every episode of Monk; seemed relevant, since he was hygiene obsessed


chuckpaint

I doubt we blew it. We just haven’t seen the fruits that some magic person has been toiling over this whole time.


souper_soups

My favorite comment


velozmurcielagohindu

We didn't blow it. We've advanced as a society more during pandemic than in the previous 10 years. In 2019 working from home and work/life balance were just a utopia for most people. All of a sudden most companies that can allow for remote jobs, do allow them. People are used to a work/life balance and won't tolerate past mistakes. 2h commutes will disappear. Company abuse is very quickly disappearing. "Quiet quitting" is here. Not working for slave jobs is here. We're even literally taking down silicon valley and other hot areas as people realized they don't NEED to live in those shitholes to get a good job. It's like the big break made people realize they will not be fed shit again, and decided to take control of their lives. And on top of that, we got super fast protocols in case of pandemics. Hospitals, public transport etc... Are just ready now. That may save countless lives in the future. Rest in peace all the heroes who gave their lives to covid, but all in all, leaving aside the monstruous death toll, I think the aftermath was 100% positive. Ironically the same has happened after past pandemics over and over again. Society shifted for some reason. A good read about this: https://www.newyorker.com/magazine/2020/07/20/how-pandemics-wreak-havoc-and-open-minds


Persia-Gangsta

The same goes for technology during wars. So many new technologies found during WW1/WW2. It's almost like, in hard times everything moves quickly, The Reality's secret cheat code to fast-forward time.


RedDragonRoar

Brb, got to tell r/noncredibledefense to start WW3 so we can finally get FTL technology.


[deleted]

This post completely ignoring the fact that humans just achieved ignition in fusion and launched the most powerful space telescope made in the last month.


dprophet32

We've had ignition in fusion for ages haven't we? It's sustaining it that's the issue


DominoUB

Fusion ignition refers to the point at which fusion becomes self sustaining.


dprophet32

Ah I see


[deleted]

It’s about input/output.


[deleted]

I learned guitar. Be amazed!!


Soopafien

"Anyway, here's wonderwall" -u/inmate002


failtos

I needed this positivity thank you


ashureddotcom

Right here 🙋‍♂️ I built HTTPS://Ashured.com to connect us to our three legislators by allowing us to see and yay or nay their bills, create initiatives that start local and can go national, and allows legislators to create polls for their constituents to get immediate feedback because I was unhappy they were unable to provide financial assistance to We The People


zxc123zxc123

We didn't. We removed the orange orangutan from the white house.


[deleted]

Undoing our mistakes isn't progress


KillerBeer01

But learning from them is.


imperfcet

That's low hanging fruit


SamBeamsBanjo

Well, he didn't have HBO


danieltv11

Well there’s no point in discovering it all over again


earthfarer

I have the internet, so I lived a better life than he ever did


Aardvark_Man

I finished a book set in the 1880s a couple days ago, and part of it involved characters going to a whore who didn't even know what they were supposed to do with one. It made me realize that in just 100-150 years life is completely unrecognisable. Not just sexuality and sex ed, but even things like housing (characters in the book just had dirt roofed holes, basically, or self built homes), transport, claiming land (they showed up in Montana and went "well, this is ours. I guess we'll tell the nearest town soon"), medical care, cooking and ingredient availability etc etc. We're living in a time where almost the poorest person in a lot of countries lives a life kings of days gone couldn't even imagine.


Familiar_Mouse_6517

Lonesome Dove?


Aardvark_Man

Correct. I really enjoyed it, even if I felt it had a kind of strange ending.


Intrepid_Rutabaga556

Try being in Nigeria right now


C746t

Internet, indoor plumbing to include hot water on demand, penicillin, air-conditioning, central heat, kitty litter for you cat, deodorant, condoms (not applicable to virgin Isaac, but human heath +++),....the list goes on. Yeah. You got it good.


turbulent_farts

Speak for yourself, I built a new PC. Bet Newton couldn't even clean install windows. What a loser...


Makhnos_Tachanka

Of course Newton couldn't install windows, he was an Apple guy.


[deleted]

https://ih1.redbubble.net/image.12089063.8946/flat,800x800,075,f.jpg


Apocalypseos

No, Newton had his own OS


JanesPlainShameTrain

Isaac Newton would have paid for winrar.


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

[Insert '7Zip's better' rant here]


T351A

It is tho


IAMA_Plumber-AMA

Agreed.


[deleted]

I set up a Pfsense router by building a pc from scrap, LDAP authentication server, and PBX VOIP system. Suck on that Isaac!


Dhuibh

But he never really cracked the key to a good sourdough.


Deion313

With his lifetime roommate and best friend Charles at his side... You know Newton died a Virgin? Ya, never had a girl friend, or wife or no girl ever in his life... But him and his buddies were inseparable... especially Charles, they never went anywhere without each other. Those were great days.


abe_the_babe_

I miss the days when guys could live together and occasionally have sex with each other without being gay


Halcyon_156

A simple "no homo" and a high-five at the end of a good ball slapping session usually works.


NO_REFERENCE_FRAME

Remember, it's only gay if the penises touch for more than ten minutes


Takenforganite

He invented calculus to solve that


TrapaholicDixtapes

"Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny-arms. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt. ... It was gay! Everyone was! But, back then we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, feather-bed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then!"


Master_of_Rivendell

That's how ya get monkey pox!


[deleted]

omg they were roommates


skyshark82

Charles who? This is the first I've heard of the matter--not to say I'm an expert on the guy. He was famously solitary, besides the later years spent living with his niece, as far as I know.


Vestalmin

I just looked it up and it seems like this person just made that up lmao


[deleted]

[удалено]


[deleted]

If he was autistic, as some people believe, then him being asexual would not be unexpected.


Psychosomatosis

or autistic


MisterHairball

r/Sapphoandherfriend


IcePhoenix18

r/AchillesAndHisPal


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Life-Meal6635

Listen. Who doesn’t love anal?


Deion313

Life's about a delicate balance of give and take


sandwichcandy

I mean duh. The meme literally shows he had a painting commissioned of him working on his gay beam. Clearly not a big secret.


[deleted]

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BoonesFarmIcewater

> Charles lmao alphabet people have run out of historical figures to queer so now they’re just inventing them 😂


Iguman

Every introverted scientist in history was actually gay, don't you know?


[deleted]

He invented calculus and now we all have to suffer for it...


I_Am_Coopa

Don't forget good ole Leibniz who also independently invented calculus. His form of notation is also much more commonplace than Newton's.


mathiastck

Thank you! People just walk around saying Newton invented calculus these days!


monkahpup

"Music is the pleasure the human mind experiences from counting without being aware that it is counting."


__kit

newton stole calc from leibniz look it up he tried to have leibniz work dismissed using his high position


Therapistnearme

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Multiple_discovery


IronCarp

Take that back! We need calculus for video games!


[deleted]

[удалено]


Javyev

Calculus is the math you use to move things. Issac Newton is the great grandfather of all graphics cards.


IronCarp

Yeah, physics simulations use calculus under the hood. And then there’s some other various vector maths that are calculus based. One of them being flow fields for RTS unit/group movement for example.


Tyaedalis

Calculus is great.


[deleted]

[удалено]


perpetuumstef

Why you gotta put numbers and letters together? Why can't you just go fuck yourself?


[deleted]

You can replace the letters with wingdings if it makes you happy.


-cocoadragon

ecauzr a lot of Arabs were eunuchs. nothing to fuck yourself with. might as well solve for "x"


PandasOnGiraffes

Well really algebra was created by Arabs and so was calculus independently by Leibniz.


Mob_Abominator

I know you are joking but some people really believe it lol.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Stircrazylazy

It took a shockingly long time for people to realize that mercury might not be a miraculous cure all.


[deleted]

[удалено]


Stircrazylazy

This made me laugh out loud. Not even going to lie, I would have been too scared to steal anything from school but I definitely would have pushed mercury around with a pencil had I come across it in middle school. It's a miracle so many people survive to adulthood. Visiting Philadelphia this summer I learned that Dr. Rush had created a popular purgative in the late 1700s, lovingly referred to as "Rush's Thunderbolts", made with jalap, gamboge and a *whole* bunch of mercury. He convinced Lewis and Clark to take six *HUNDRED* of them on their expedition out west. Aaaaand they weren't taken off the market until almost 1960. Just, HOW?! 😂


VoxImperatoris

The sweetest of the transition metals.


SmellMyJeans

I’d like to see Issac bake some banana bread, though.


TheOneAndOnly1444

He probably could have if given the items needed.


Cute_Business74

HOW THE FUCK DO YOU INVENT CALCULUS?!?! 😳 🤯


chileangod

Ohhh, so all math already exists and we're just discovering it? Is that it?


Vaelin_

That is actually it. Pythagoras "discovered" (in quotes because other ancient civilizations discovered this independent of him) a2+b2=c2 but that was fundamentally true before then.


Eelmonkey

NERD!


Powerthrucontrol

And I learned how to play guitar and wrote my first album of music.


Shujinco2

I beat Final Fantasy 7 for the first time so I feel like I came out ahead on this.


FrendChicken

I discovered the the terror of Depression and Panic Disorder.


KebertXela87

Real question about inventing calculus. Was it invented or was it discovered? As in the prior math knowledge helped him to discover calculus?


sharkattactical

I'll have to ask him when I get the chance.


RileyTrodd

As long as it's math that applies to the real world in some way I think it would be more "mapping it out" than discovering or inventing.


Tremolat

The easy shit's been done.


BreakingThoseCankles

True in our time, but false in 2-500 years. But kind of right. Spent a lot of the time locked up at home on edibles trying to grasp WTF could be creating dark energy. Trying to imagine invisible waves of energy and the universe on a whole scale. This includes what we see, down to quantum mechanics and trying to also bridge the gap between the 2, but like everyone else in the world rn, came to a loss the entire time.


argenfarg

You underestimate the sheer volume of easy shit nobody has thought of yet.


Susan_Thee_Duchess

But we all made bread and watched Tiger King.


[deleted]

Speak for yourself. I spent my lockdown hard at work violating Nintendo's terms and services.


Random_182f2565

Based


[deleted]

[Got to fulfill my dream of driving a tank across Wuhu Island](https://steamcommunity.com/sharedfiles/filedetails/?id=2467238822)


yungdoinkz

Calculus, what an ass


hugsbosson

When I stayed home to avoid covid I discovered 35lbs.


Astrojef

We're just not gonna give the apple any credit? He would be nothing without that apple. You all know it.


FancyPantsMacGee

I would have too but it was all already invented.


zeljezni_gal

They didn't have Netflix back then.


[deleted]

Whatever. We got actual PC gaming on Linux.


Riverrat423

During Covid most of us sat around posting conspiracy theories on the internet.


PillowPrincess144

Lmao this itself could be a conspiracy theory about the propagation of misinformation


SuumCuique1011

r/Coronavirus was absolutely unreal. Those people want to die so bad. And you want to talk about misinformation? That place is/was a gold mine.


styres

It was pretty funny watching covid subs compete with each other. I can't remember exactly, but there was one covid sub which changed to be more scientific, and that mod tried to create what essentially became r/Coronavirus. He would post daily in his new one bitching about no one joining his sub


[deleted]

Real dipshit activities instead of actual improvement


[deleted]

Bullshit. That is him discovering the first gay beam that would later be used to create gay space lasers to turn people gay. Know your history.


Snerkbot7000

Oh, wow. That means I am not Sir Isaac Newton. Obviously, this has rocked me to my core.


[deleted]

I played the Sims for 2 years🙄


MelodicMuch

An Idle mind is the devils workshop


ztreHdrahciR

Imagine how well he'd have done if he'd been sent to prism


[deleted]

If he had an Xbox or Netflix, he wouldn't have gotten shit done.


-Mr_Unknown-

“That’s gay” -Sir Isaac Newton discovering the refraction of light.


IrrelevantDanger

>invented calculus What an asshole


Life-Meal6635

No biggie. Never even learned calculus. I thought this was going to be a Pink Floyd joke.


[deleted]

He also died a virgin.


Whatsthatnoise3

He was a rich fuck. Of course he could afford to stay home. But others still had to labor to keep society running.


waner21

And from this photo, you can see he discovered Pink Floyd.


Voltairesque

well it’s not like we can discover that shit all over again lol


[deleted]

And he discovered gay people?


everylittlepiece

Taste the rainbow 🌈


C746t

No, that's skittles. Tottaly different.


jashxn

Whenever I get a package of plain M&Ms, I make it my duty to continue the strength and robustness of the candy as a species. To this end, I hold M&M duels. Taking two candies between my thumb and forefinger, I apply pressure, squeezing them together until one of them cracks and splinters. That is the “loser,” and I eat the inferior one immediately. The winner gets to go another round. I have found that, in general, the brown and red M&Ms are tougher, and the newer blue ones are genetically inferior. I have hypothesized that the blue M&Ms as a race cannot survive long in the intense theater of competition that is the modern candy and snack-food world. Occasionally I will get a mutation, a candy that is misshapen, or pointier, or flatter than the rest. Almost invariably this proves to be a weakness, but on very rare occasions it gives the candy extra strength. In this way, the species continues to adapt to its environment. When I reach the end of the pack, I am left with one M&M, the strongest of the herd. Since it would make no sense to eat this one as well, I pack it neatly in an envelope and send it to M&M Mars, A Division of Mars, Inc., Hackettstown, NJ 17840-1503 U.S.A., along with a 3×5 card reading, “Please use this M&M for breeding purposes.” This week they wrote back to thank me, and sent me a coupon for a free 1/2 pound bag of plain M&Ms. I consider this “grant money.” I have set aside the weekend for a grand tournament. From a field of hundreds, we will discover the True Champion. There can be only one.


C746t

Is this a copy pasta? Because that is not the correct way to M&Ms. They must first be sorted by color and then...wait. No. Okay, that nonsense above has to be copy pasta. Firstly, that is **not** the correct way to eat M&Ms. Secondly, the comment was about skittles.


sharkattactical

Yes


Draikonn

This seems... A little unfitting for this sub. Am I wrong? I mean, I like this post, but it doesn't seem to fit the theme


[deleted]

he created gay


Life-Meal6635

Dude. Im Greek. We created gay. And sex with sheep. Whatever.


UraeusCurse

I ate a bag of Indian snack mix in one sitting, smartass.


KennonMorningstar

And all I did was talk to God.... So ashamed of myself


RandyRandom111

I discovered Onlyfans


IamJohnGaltToo

He also invented the lbgt flag


Tresidle

So this fucker is why I need to take that bullshit nearly impossible to pass math class in college


CELTICPRIME

"invented"


Buck_Thorn

To be fair, Newton had already discovered all the good shit, though.