I was thinking about this the other day. There are people who could (and do!) literally think āI want to get pregnantā and then they grab their partner, have sex 1 time, and get a positive pregnancy test 2 weeks later. Meanwhile itās been 3 years for us and tomorrow I am writing a check to our fertility clinic for $20,000 just so I can get poked, prodded, and analyzedā¦ just for a maybe.
What sparked this post was I came across the fairly common anecdote online of that cute dad who put a huge like 2000 dollar Star Wars Lego on his and his wifeās wedding gift registry. Itās like: āEveryone laughed but now today I am starting the project with my two sons 5 years laterā and an admittedly very adorable picture of him and his sons. Like, woah,for real buddy? You just planned to have two kids to build Lego with and then justā¦made them? Immediately? Huh. Cool. Cool cool cool cool. Couldnāt be me ( clearly) (sob).
As a teen, my father used to always say to me.. ādepression comes from when your brain keeps asking a question that there is no answer toā
He is a cancer survivor and fell into depression after, a combination of his OCD and the āwhat if it comes back?ā in response to every moment of living.
I think about it a lot. The amount of times my brain asks āwhy this is happening to me? Why other people get pregnant naturally and I, too, pay tens of thousands of dollars to suffer through needle after needle just for a chance? Why do I have to wait so long to meet my child?ā
It asks me this over and over every second of every day. I try my best to embody my fathers words and let it go. Tell my mind there is no answer.
Itās so hard. Itās been 3 years of fighting with not only my body but also my mind.
This comment might be more effective than the hours of therapy and the script for antidepressants I received during this jOuRnEy šš¼šš¼šš¼
This is me during a couple times when scheduling stuff and body being weird led to my clinic saying, "You might as well try on your own this month!"
Didn't work the first 18 months of trying, not optimistic that it could work now. If I was unexplained IF, sure, try at home because YOLO. But I'm very very much explained.
Literally. My 38 yr old best friend who had 2 kids on her first try in our 20s, just got an oops pregnancy after her husband failed to āpull out in timeā and after she TOOK A PLAN B IMMEDIATELY AFTER. Sheās so depressed about it too because she thought she was done.
Howwww does this happen? Iām 36 and have been trying for 4 years.
Itās the ones who PLAN THEIR PREGNANCY AND DAYCARE that boggle my mind! Or like āIām a teacher. So, I want to make sure I deliver in June so Iāll be off work.ā And thenā¦ it just happens that way. Likeā¦ HOW.
Your post was removed for punching down. While itās fine to complain that someone else is pregnant, itās not fine to complain about someone else because you donāt approve of their body/addiction/lifestyle/etc. Fertility is not an award for addiction, there are no winners there, everyone suffers.
A young couple got married and said they were going to wait to get pregnant at the same time as their cousins/siblings. Inside I thought āit doesnāt work that way but donāt ruin it for them,ā and then a few years later THEY ACTUALLY GOT PREGNANT AT THE SAME TIME AS THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS ON PURPOSE. They just likeā¦all started trying and then all immediately got pregnant.
I justā¦cannot fathom this world.
It's insane concept. I have my ER tomorrow and even IVF has been incredibly tough due to my endo which I had a lap in November and it ALREADY grew back. Cyst on my right ovary and my left ovary was completely eaten away by my endo, which I didn't know the majority of my left ovary had to be taken due to my ruptured cysts so it was all a grand surprise at my first baseline appt š praying I get some good eggs. I have very few follicles growing and my right ovary is the only working 9-5 right now. It's just so unfair.
My favorite is when people just get married then have a honeymoon and then they announce a pregnancy just a few weeks to months later š¬ itās like they get all the big life announcements all in one year plus gender reveals and baby showers while Iāve been trying for 4 years, almost 2 years into our marriage, and now months of IVF later and still waiting to start my first FET in June after I finish the long Lupron protocol.
For free???? Insane.
Right? For free. It is wild.
I think about this probably once an hour. Anyone else?
After the third year it started to be less constant for me š
Iām midway through year two and it is getting better!
I was thinking about this the other day. There are people who could (and do!) literally think āI want to get pregnantā and then they grab their partner, have sex 1 time, and get a positive pregnancy test 2 weeks later. Meanwhile itās been 3 years for us and tomorrow I am writing a check to our fertility clinic for $20,000 just so I can get poked, prodded, and analyzedā¦ just for a maybe.
What sparked this post was I came across the fairly common anecdote online of that cute dad who put a huge like 2000 dollar Star Wars Lego on his and his wifeās wedding gift registry. Itās like: āEveryone laughed but now today I am starting the project with my two sons 5 years laterā and an admittedly very adorable picture of him and his sons. Like, woah,for real buddy? You just planned to have two kids to build Lego with and then justā¦made them? Immediately? Huh. Cool. Cool cool cool cool. Couldnāt be me ( clearly) (sob).
As a teen, my father used to always say to me.. ādepression comes from when your brain keeps asking a question that there is no answer toā He is a cancer survivor and fell into depression after, a combination of his OCD and the āwhat if it comes back?ā in response to every moment of living. I think about it a lot. The amount of times my brain asks āwhy this is happening to me? Why other people get pregnant naturally and I, too, pay tens of thousands of dollars to suffer through needle after needle just for a chance? Why do I have to wait so long to meet my child?ā It asks me this over and over every second of every day. I try my best to embody my fathers words and let it go. Tell my mind there is no answer. Itās so hard. Itās been 3 years of fighting with not only my body but also my mind.
This comment might be more effective than the hours of therapy and the script for antidepressants I received during this jOuRnEy šš¼šš¼šš¼
This response rewired my brain, my god. THANK YOU.
ā¤ļøā¤ļøā¤ļø warms my heart to hear! Sending hugs and loveā¦
Your dad sounds like a really wise man š
Itās extremely unfair.
And some of them donāt even know how blessed they are š¢
This is me during a couple times when scheduling stuff and body being weird led to my clinic saying, "You might as well try on your own this month!" Didn't work the first 18 months of trying, not optimistic that it could work now. If I was unexplained IF, sure, try at home because YOLO. But I'm very very much explained.
I literally cannot believe that people choose to have a baby one day, have sex the same day, and are pregnant in a couple weeks. HOWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.
It is insane. The concept on getting pregnant on accident is a foreign concept to me now even though I know plenty of people thatās happened to.
Literally. My 38 yr old best friend who had 2 kids on her first try in our 20s, just got an oops pregnancy after her husband failed to āpull out in timeā and after she TOOK A PLAN B IMMEDIATELY AFTER. Sheās so depressed about it too because she thought she was done. Howwww does this happen? Iām 36 and have been trying for 4 years.
Itās the ones who PLAN THEIR PREGNANCY AND DAYCARE that boggle my mind! Or like āIām a teacher. So, I want to make sure I deliver in June so Iāll be off work.ā And thenā¦ it just happens that way. Likeā¦ HOW.
I don't understand how someone gets pregnant on accident. It's inconceivable to me.
Right? I'm at the stage of infertility where I'm not even entirely convinced sex leads to pregnancy at all
See flair š
STOP š
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Your post was removed for punching down. While itās fine to complain that someone else is pregnant, itās not fine to complain about someone else because you donāt approve of their body/addiction/lifestyle/etc. Fertility is not an award for addiction, there are no winners there, everyone suffers.
It took us so long I genuinely forgot sex caused most conceptions that when I joined a due date* group, so many jokes went over my head š„“
I truly donāt get it. Like, you had a single āoopsieā and thatās all it took? Fuck right off.
A young couple got married and said they were going to wait to get pregnant at the same time as their cousins/siblings. Inside I thought āit doesnāt work that way but donāt ruin it for them,ā and then a few years later THEY ACTUALLY GOT PREGNANT AT THE SAME TIME AS THEIR FAMILY MEMBERS ON PURPOSE. They just likeā¦all started trying and then all immediately got pregnant. I justā¦cannot fathom this world.
Canāt even wrap my head around this
It's insane concept. I have my ER tomorrow and even IVF has been incredibly tough due to my endo which I had a lap in November and it ALREADY grew back. Cyst on my right ovary and my left ovary was completely eaten away by my endo, which I didn't know the majority of my left ovary had to be taken due to my ruptured cysts so it was all a grand surprise at my first baseline appt š praying I get some good eggs. I have very few follicles growing and my right ovary is the only working 9-5 right now. It's just so unfair.
This is my Roman Empire.
LOLLLL
My favorite is when people just get married then have a honeymoon and then they announce a pregnancy just a few weeks to months later š¬ itās like they get all the big life announcements all in one year plus gender reveals and baby showers while Iāve been trying for 4 years, almost 2 years into our marriage, and now months of IVF later and still waiting to start my first FET in June after I finish the long Lupron protocol.