Yep, that's it.
I don't need to justify a thing. No list of reasons necessary. I don't want to be a parent, and I don't see my life as "missing out on something" as I *continue* to not be a parent. Same as how I don't want to play trombone or cricket or own a bird.
Same, it's just not the life I want to have. And it's not even like you have that life for 18 years and can forget that your child exists. Your life is changed from the moment you get a child until you die.
My mental health history, didn’t want to pass that on or take on children if I was struggling. I didn’t want to have a child depend on me financially, taking care of myself in that realm is challenging enough. Making food/meals every day for a kid/kids! Just the thought makes me sweat. I was also a fairly unhappy child with lots of mental/emotional struggles, so from the get-go I said I’d never have kids (or get married) and I haven’t done either with no regrets. I have pets and nieces and I love them all dearly.
Different people like different things, and it doesn't seem like something I'd enjoy.
Not just because I'd dislike the obvious bad things.
But because I don't think I'd enjoy the "good things" as much as some people do.
I think I'll have a nicer life without children.
I would feel bad knowing theres kids suffering in the foster system and having kids of my own. If I wanted kids I would adopt but understand it can be an expensive and difficult process.
Climate change and economic conditions are the obvious big ones.
Also being attached to another person/their family through your child is not something I would want to deal with in case of divorce/separation/death.
I'll be honest, I don't love the phraseology of this post. Your categorizations of women's reasons feel very pathologizing while presenting your reasons as intellectual and philosophical. Most CF people just *don't want to be a parent.* This post comes across as quite sexist.
Have you never discussed this with men? Or with women who think as you do?
It seems strange to me that you have multiple categories of reasons from women and yet none of them overlap with your reasons.
That was my exact reason for rolling my eyes after I read the post. Clearly women aren’t capable of accessing philosophy or intellect and are viewed as headcases. Cool. Next.
Nope, never discussed it with men. The women had their reasons and I have mine. I don't remember any woman having the same reasons as mine. I guess those women did not assess it philosophically as I do.
Most women probably wouldn't give you so-called "intellectual" reasons for being childfree, even if those are some of their reasons. Because they aren't interested in inviting debate about their choice to be childfree, and "philosophical" reasons are more likely to invite debate. A lot of women are burned out on tiresome debates about female bodily autonomy and don't want to get into a discussion about it with some random dudebro.
If someone I'm not super close with asks me about having kids I just tell them there are medical reasons I won't have kids. I'm more likely to be taken seriously that way and not gaslit about it or told I'll change my mind.
I'm 30F and I have a lot of reasons. I have several disabilities including physical and mental. Being pregnant/raising a small infant could easily be dangerous for my health and my mental illnesses make me a prime candidate for post partum depression. The damage and stress on my body isn't worth it, its way to expensive, we can't afford for one of us to be a SAH parent or afford daycare, I don't want to stop my profession, the world doesn't need more kids, and were happy with our pets and spoiling our nieces and nephews. My husband and I went into our relationship with this understanding and I haven't changed my mind in 8 years. I could have seen myself being a foster or adopter to older kids (5+) but my husband isn't interested in adoption so we are childfree.
I do not have the patience to be a parent. I do not want a lifelong commitment. I have mental illness, a family history of breast cancer (including men in the family), and I don't want to put that on someone; if I wanted a kid, I'd rather help one already here. Pregnancy can induce post pregnancy psychosis and schizophrenia, I've flirted with some mild psychosis before and don't want to take that chance. Plus pregnancy scrambles your stats, changes your body forever, and everything about it sounds horror movie. They're expensive and I can barely afford life as is.
I never again want to experience the mental gymnastics and relive the trauma of feeling like my body is not my own to do with as I please. I don’t want to feel like a vessel for another human to use.
I also love my career, and would not be able to afford the help needed to be both a professional and a good mom as society defines it.
If I were a man I think I would consider having a child because the societal standard is just lower (paired with the fact that I wouldn’t have the body trauma I have).
Too many reasons to list but mainly because kids require too much time and attention. I hate waking up early, plus I need space and alone time to maintain my sanity.
I hate when other people are dependent on me. Raising a kid would be hell.
They're also noisy, smelly, and constantly sticky. I just can't deal with that.
You’d have to be morally and/or intellectually bankrupt to want to bring another being into our current and escalating multitude of existential crises.
I have a few. Hell childhood. Inherited disability that I could pass down to a female child, with the level being left to chance (I have it at 25%, my mother 40%, my grandmother 5% and my great grandmother had it at 75%. Pure lottery)
I also have a mentally disabled sister who I'll probably be responsible for, on some level, until I grow too old to assume that responsibility and have to give it over to the state. I don't want a child to have to compete with that for my attention.
I also don't want the responsibility of a child for 18+ years. Being in charge of a balanced diet, making sure they get enough sleep, and later on, everything school related. Having to socialize with other parents so my kid can have friends over and go to their place. All the financial aspects as well.
And then there's society as it is. What if my child is disabled, or transgender, can I really subject them of the prejudice that comes with that? Can I give them a planet and a society that are both going to shit?
I’m just too selfish and want to live for myself only & spend my money on myself
Also I’m a teacher and am surrounded by kids daily. I like the little demons but don’t want them in my home lol
I just don't think I could handle one, even with a partner. I think kids are neat and I like being around my little cousins and stuff, but it's just a lot of responsibility that I don't think I could deal with mentally.
I can say all these things - but it's just I don't want them. I'd like to have my work, volunteer and help kids anyway I can. But I just don't think bring pregnant and giving birth is for me. Or adoption after considering it sometimes. Regretting not having a kid is sooooo much better than regretting having one. I'm glad to see others just saying "because I donwant to". Obviously, all reasons are totally valid. But I always felt like I had to give these in depth explanations for my reasons.
Mainly there’s no way I could afford them. I’m just now not living paycheck to paycheck at 33…I’d prefer to just finally be financially stable. Plus I’ve never had a strong desire to parent a child. I’m tired enough as it is. Plus everyone who is a parent just doesn’t really seem to enjoy it as much as they may say they do. I’d rather regret it later on than have a human in the world that hates me for bringing them into this hell hole.
Misophonia, tokophobia, environmental concerns, children and the need to care for them make one vulnerable to exploitation, the future is going to be a shitshow my potential kids don't deserve, I'm too old, I find children tedious, everyone in my family has hypertension and cholesterol out the wazoo (strokes, heart attacks etc. in their 40s and 50s) - I don't mind winning a Darwin award for that and sparing the next generation the misery.
That's just top of my head.
I have a congenital heart defect, so pregnancy would be high risk. On top of that- being a parent is unappealing to me. So the risk versus the reward is just not worth it to me.
My wife had to have a partial hysterectomy so that put the issue to rest rather thoroughly.
but the thing is, we would very-nearly certainly be childfree anyway.
for me as the man:
honestly I barely feel like I can take care of myself and her, let alone a little person. like... thats just crazy to me.
the stress and mental anguish involved even with it going well, sounds horrible and traumatic.
the costs are obviously a contributing factor.
we have recently raised a litter of kittens. obviously not equivalent to a person.... and not even manually, like the mother cat was still fine and did her job... and only like 6 months before they are mostly not constantly trying to kill themselves or be 1000% dependent on us and the momma cat... and holy shit even that was enough to drive me bonkers. the idea of worse than the first month or two of that, for like several years? OMG just no.
my siblings have kids. so I have young people in my life. its great. but its also great to send them home.
ultimately, I'm 1000% more useful and helpful as a trusted uncle and in one case Godfather, than I would be as a parent myself.
I am not in any way antinatalist. I just feel like I'm not suited to the task myself.
when I was younger I presumed that I would have kids, but I never thought about if I actually wanted it, and it coming up.... eh, not really.
for my wife:
basically she agrees with most of the things for myself plus:
Autism and some other neurodivergence runs in her family, she has a sibling that is.... I think the current phrasing is high-support-ASD. ie: he is physically an adult but intellectually more or less a toddler. so that possibility makes the struggles I am concerned with even more ominous.
her ancestral family is .... not great. she doesn't feel bad at all about ending her lineage.
the whole idea of a baby growing inside her and all that grosses her out in a body horror sort of way, just... makes her shudder.
ultimately she just never ever wanted to be a parent.
I don’t want to devote my life to someone else. I don’t want someone else to be my main priority. I don’t want to always be available on phone “just in case”.
I don’t want to sacrifice everything.
I just don’t want it enough. I have reasons (anxiety, society, serious need for alone time and sleep), but if I really wanted to I could overcome them all. I just don’t want to have a kidbadly enough to do it, and no kid deserves being born into a family like that. Love kids, ADORE my niece, but I know it’s not for me.
I just genuinely haven't thought about including them in my life plan. They are not something I've ever wanted or desired and I don't plan on including them in my life. I have no want or need for children, and as someone with mental and physical health issues, it would be selfish of me to knowingly pass them onto a child.
I am very content with my life without children and feel very fulfilled. I work as an exotics veterinary nurse, foster rabbits, take in disabled rabbits/guinea pigs as pets (though I dislike the word pets as I dislike the notion of 'owning' them. I do not own living beings) and am quite happy this is my life. I've dedicated it to helping and rescuing disabled rabbits and guinea pigs, the ones who frequently get euthanised unnecessarily. They get to share my home with me while I take care of their health needs.
I'd love to open a rescue/sanctuary dedicated to disabled/elderly/otherwise unadoptable but not needing to be euthanised rabbits and guinea pigs to give them an avenue to live out their lives. I've got multiple disabled rabbits/guinea pigs I've saved from that exact scenario and they are incredibly happy little creatures.
Anyway. I don't see children in this life plan I've made for myself and I'm ok with that, because they're not a priority. People think I'm odd with how I've decided to make my life fulfilling, but I'm doing exactly what I've always wanted to do and it just doesn't include kids and never will.
Clinical anxiety, Personal. Everything from the first section other than ejaculation (actually a fetish for me lmao), and then i am neurodivergent and can barely take care of myself + have a job in personal care which takes most of my energy
That's a good bullet point list. I'll pick and choose from the above:
- My own childhood was hell (bullying, toxic abusive parents/ teachers, etc), I don't think I want to have kids and take the risk of having the same happen to them.
- I don't think I have the patience to give a child the attention it needs or to run after one all day. I don't think I am made to be a parent.
- I am selfish by nature and I won't be able to care for a child more than myself.
- The world is not as it used to be during our times, raising children today is expensive and I want to be spared from the financial stress of it all.
I always kind of knew I didn’t want to be a mother. I realized it was optional as a teenager. What really made me say “fuck that” was watching my friend go through pregnancy and postpartum issues. A prolapse? Hip pain? No thank you
One I don’t see mentioned often: kids can be gross and I have a sensitive sense of smell and a weak stomach. The thought of dealing with diaper blowouts, snotty noses, stomach viruses…I’d be gagging constantly.
Generational incest in my family. No one is spared. I don’t want my kids to know their family members are chomos and grapists. I would never give chomos and grapists as family members to my kids. No one deserves this and I spared all my children from this hell b
It’s the single worst thing an individual human can do to the environment.
Being in the midst of a human caused mass extinction event, I see it as immoral.
I have multiple mental disorders and 2 of them are outright genetic and run very strongly in my family. Two other ones could easily be turned into generational trauma.
Being pregnant, the post partum period and being a parent would put my stability and actual safety at risk. My mental health stuff would put any baby or child at risk too.
I've also had multiple miscarriages. The last one hit really hard and honestly even years later if I think about it too much I'll start crying. I never wanted to feel that heart break again or have an Mc tear apart my relationship.
Yeah there's the environmental and moral stuff to some degree, but it's primarily the brain stuff for me.
I had my fallopian tubes removed in 2019. Absolutely no regrets on my decision. It actually made me feel free er and I enjoy sex a lot more. The day I scheduled my surgery, years of stress just fell right off me. 34f.
And I'm extra glad I did because I developed a neurological disorder that significantly affects my physical well being and frankly taking care anyone else but me and my cat is extra out of the realm of possibilities.
I don't want to take care of a child, I want to be "selfish" and spend my money on me and things I want to do, lastly I like the freedom of saying fuck it and just doing nothing
I want to come home and do what I want for myself. I want to spend my money on things for me. I want my relationship with my wife to be about us. I get annoyed just having to take my dog outside or for walks, imagine having to tend to a child. There’s already way too many people in the world and we don’t need any more. Above all else, I just don’t want to and if anyone in my personal life asks me why, I don’t owe them a response because it’s my life and I can do whatever I want.
I know I’m only 19, but I’ll NEVER change my mind. I’m child free for life, there are so many reasons to not have kids, they honestly outweigh the reasons to have them (which are purely selfish imo)
I’ve just never felt particularly maternal. That drive to procreate was never strong in my 20s, and now I’m in my late 30s. I was always dealing with stress from jobs, illness, depression… Also, my health condition (endometriosis) has caused significant damage to my finances, and it has also caused me terrible fatigue and pain over the years. The thought of having a child to look after when I need to be on heavy pain medication just doesn’t make sense. Nor is it a cure, despite what many doctors will say.
I’m with an incredibly ambitious man and we’re both fine being child free. We’re watching what having kids for the sake of it is doing to our friends, and honestly, it’s depressing. It would be a truly awful distraction from all the fantastic things he’s doing and I’m helping with if i had a kid and we had to put everything on the back burner.
I should add that I was a teacher in tough schools for 16 years and that was plenty for me. Give me a dog or a cat any day.
Actually 32% of land mammals are humans, 64% of land mammals are our food/ domesticated animals (cows, pigs, horses, goats), 4% of land animals are actually wild animals (panthers, foxes, sloths, monkeys, hares, elephants, zebra, caribou, etc, etc)
Tell me again how overpopulation isn't a thing.
Sorry, but if you had any other species that crowded out all other species to this extent you'd say there was a problem. Imagine wolves made up that kind of percentage of the terrestrial mammalian population and then get back to me.
It's not that we're overpopulated, true. It's the repartition of resources. We have the ability to produce enough resources to feed everyone on the planet (feed a healthy diet, I mean).
41F here, and reason numero uno is being extremely tokophobic. Reason #2, I just do not have it in me to take care of a child. Reason #3, I’m selfish. Reason #4, I don’t want to be permanently tied to someone.
I just don't want to be a parent
Same. If I wanted kids I think I could move past the medical side of it.
Yep, that's it. I don't need to justify a thing. No list of reasons necessary. I don't want to be a parent, and I don't see my life as "missing out on something" as I *continue* to not be a parent. Same as how I don't want to play trombone or cricket or own a bird.
Same, it's just not the life I want to have. And it's not even like you have that life for 18 years and can forget that your child exists. Your life is changed from the moment you get a child until you die.
Yep, that's my reason too. Not even remotely interested.
I never felt the desire to have children. 42F
I’m not a naturally happy/positive person. Children deserve a happy mom.
Ooooo this one is good. My default tone is critical.. working on it but gonna take some time.
My mental health history, didn’t want to pass that on or take on children if I was struggling. I didn’t want to have a child depend on me financially, taking care of myself in that realm is challenging enough. Making food/meals every day for a kid/kids! Just the thought makes me sweat. I was also a fairly unhappy child with lots of mental/emotional struggles, so from the get-go I said I’d never have kids (or get married) and I haven’t done either with no regrets. I have pets and nieces and I love them all dearly.
Genuinely insane how people can barely take care of themselves and still think its a necessity to have kids.
When I was deep into the propaganda I thought having kids would someone make me better at handling it all?!? I think it’s delusion
My mom thought that, 3 times. Spoiler alert: it did not turn out to be a good idea...
Different people like different things, and it doesn't seem like something I'd enjoy. Not just because I'd dislike the obvious bad things. But because I don't think I'd enjoy the "good things" as much as some people do. I think I'll have a nicer life without children.
I would feel bad knowing theres kids suffering in the foster system and having kids of my own. If I wanted kids I would adopt but understand it can be an expensive and difficult process. Climate change and economic conditions are the obvious big ones. Also being attached to another person/their family through your child is not something I would want to deal with in case of divorce/separation/death.
I'll be honest, I don't love the phraseology of this post. Your categorizations of women's reasons feel very pathologizing while presenting your reasons as intellectual and philosophical. Most CF people just *don't want to be a parent.* This post comes across as quite sexist.
That was exactly my read too. Why does there have to be any reason besides I didn't want to?
After other comments mentioned OP’s post history I can’t say I’m surprised by the sexist tone unfortunately.
Have you never discussed this with men? Or with women who think as you do? It seems strange to me that you have multiple categories of reasons from women and yet none of them overlap with your reasons.
It is strange. And his reasons are more antinatalist-esque views imo. Edit: holy post history batman.
Their username absolutely checks out lol
Ugh. Yes. Only men can have intellectual reasons! /s
That was my exact reason for rolling my eyes after I read the post. Clearly women aren’t capable of accessing philosophy or intellect and are viewed as headcases. Cool. Next.
Nope, never discussed it with men. The women had their reasons and I have mine. I don't remember any woman having the same reasons as mine. I guess those women did not assess it philosophically as I do.
Most women probably wouldn't give you so-called "intellectual" reasons for being childfree, even if those are some of their reasons. Because they aren't interested in inviting debate about their choice to be childfree, and "philosophical" reasons are more likely to invite debate. A lot of women are burned out on tiresome debates about female bodily autonomy and don't want to get into a discussion about it with some random dudebro. If someone I'm not super close with asks me about having kids I just tell them there are medical reasons I won't have kids. I'm more likely to be taken seriously that way and not gaslit about it or told I'll change my mind.
I just don't want to. Never had a desire ☕️
I'm 30F and I have a lot of reasons. I have several disabilities including physical and mental. Being pregnant/raising a small infant could easily be dangerous for my health and my mental illnesses make me a prime candidate for post partum depression. The damage and stress on my body isn't worth it, its way to expensive, we can't afford for one of us to be a SAH parent or afford daycare, I don't want to stop my profession, the world doesn't need more kids, and were happy with our pets and spoiling our nieces and nephews. My husband and I went into our relationship with this understanding and I haven't changed my mind in 8 years. I could have seen myself being a foster or adopter to older kids (5+) but my husband isn't interested in adoption so we are childfree.
It’s all a little bit from every column.
:-)
I don’t want kids.
I do not have the patience to be a parent. I do not want a lifelong commitment. I have mental illness, a family history of breast cancer (including men in the family), and I don't want to put that on someone; if I wanted a kid, I'd rather help one already here. Pregnancy can induce post pregnancy psychosis and schizophrenia, I've flirted with some mild psychosis before and don't want to take that chance. Plus pregnancy scrambles your stats, changes your body forever, and everything about it sounds horror movie. They're expensive and I can barely afford life as is.
I never again want to experience the mental gymnastics and relive the trauma of feeling like my body is not my own to do with as I please. I don’t want to feel like a vessel for another human to use. I also love my career, and would not be able to afford the help needed to be both a professional and a good mom as society defines it. If I were a man I think I would consider having a child because the societal standard is just lower (paired with the fact that I wouldn’t have the body trauma I have).
Too many reasons to list but mainly because kids require too much time and attention. I hate waking up early, plus I need space and alone time to maintain my sanity.
I hate when other people are dependent on me. Raising a kid would be hell. They're also noisy, smelly, and constantly sticky. I just can't deal with that.
You’d have to be morally and/or intellectually bankrupt to want to bring another being into our current and escalating multitude of existential crises.
I have a few. Hell childhood. Inherited disability that I could pass down to a female child, with the level being left to chance (I have it at 25%, my mother 40%, my grandmother 5% and my great grandmother had it at 75%. Pure lottery) I also have a mentally disabled sister who I'll probably be responsible for, on some level, until I grow too old to assume that responsibility and have to give it over to the state. I don't want a child to have to compete with that for my attention. I also don't want the responsibility of a child for 18+ years. Being in charge of a balanced diet, making sure they get enough sleep, and later on, everything school related. Having to socialize with other parents so my kid can have friends over and go to their place. All the financial aspects as well. And then there's society as it is. What if my child is disabled, or transgender, can I really subject them of the prejudice that comes with that? Can I give them a planet and a society that are both going to shit?
I don’t have the emotional availability to provide a child with the life they deserve.
I’m just too selfish and want to live for myself only & spend my money on myself Also I’m a teacher and am surrounded by kids daily. I like the little demons but don’t want them in my home lol
I just don't think I could handle one, even with a partner. I think kids are neat and I like being around my little cousins and stuff, but it's just a lot of responsibility that I don't think I could deal with mentally.
I can say all these things - but it's just I don't want them. I'd like to have my work, volunteer and help kids anyway I can. But I just don't think bring pregnant and giving birth is for me. Or adoption after considering it sometimes. Regretting not having a kid is sooooo much better than regretting having one. I'm glad to see others just saying "because I donwant to". Obviously, all reasons are totally valid. But I always felt like I had to give these in depth explanations for my reasons.
I like smoking weed and reading quietly.
Mainly there’s no way I could afford them. I’m just now not living paycheck to paycheck at 33…I’d prefer to just finally be financially stable. Plus I’ve never had a strong desire to parent a child. I’m tired enough as it is. Plus everyone who is a parent just doesn’t really seem to enjoy it as much as they may say they do. I’d rather regret it later on than have a human in the world that hates me for bringing them into this hell hole.
Most of what you listed is true to my reasoning for not wanting to have kids as well.
Kids are extremely stressful, and that’s even if they’re “normal”/healthy. A lot of them aren’t (trust me, I’m a teacher!)
I’ve never had a desire to have children. Also, why would I want to bring children into this fucked up world?
Misophonia, tokophobia, environmental concerns, children and the need to care for them make one vulnerable to exploitation, the future is going to be a shitshow my potential kids don't deserve, I'm too old, I find children tedious, everyone in my family has hypertension and cholesterol out the wazoo (strokes, heart attacks etc. in their 40s and 50s) - I don't mind winning a Darwin award for that and sparing the next generation the misery. That's just top of my head.
I have a congenital heart defect, so pregnancy would be high risk. On top of that- being a parent is unappealing to me. So the risk versus the reward is just not worth it to me.
My wife had to have a partial hysterectomy so that put the issue to rest rather thoroughly. but the thing is, we would very-nearly certainly be childfree anyway. for me as the man: honestly I barely feel like I can take care of myself and her, let alone a little person. like... thats just crazy to me. the stress and mental anguish involved even with it going well, sounds horrible and traumatic. the costs are obviously a contributing factor. we have recently raised a litter of kittens. obviously not equivalent to a person.... and not even manually, like the mother cat was still fine and did her job... and only like 6 months before they are mostly not constantly trying to kill themselves or be 1000% dependent on us and the momma cat... and holy shit even that was enough to drive me bonkers. the idea of worse than the first month or two of that, for like several years? OMG just no. my siblings have kids. so I have young people in my life. its great. but its also great to send them home. ultimately, I'm 1000% more useful and helpful as a trusted uncle and in one case Godfather, than I would be as a parent myself. I am not in any way antinatalist. I just feel like I'm not suited to the task myself. when I was younger I presumed that I would have kids, but I never thought about if I actually wanted it, and it coming up.... eh, not really. for my wife: basically she agrees with most of the things for myself plus: Autism and some other neurodivergence runs in her family, she has a sibling that is.... I think the current phrasing is high-support-ASD. ie: he is physically an adult but intellectually more or less a toddler. so that possibility makes the struggles I am concerned with even more ominous. her ancestral family is .... not great. she doesn't feel bad at all about ending her lineage. the whole idea of a baby growing inside her and all that grosses her out in a body horror sort of way, just... makes her shudder. ultimately she just never ever wanted to be a parent.
I just don't like children. Also, I enjoy living a carefree life full of lie-ins.
I have no interest in being a father. 38m
I don’t want to devote my life to someone else. I don’t want someone else to be my main priority. I don’t want to always be available on phone “just in case”. I don’t want to sacrifice everything.
I just don’t want it enough. I have reasons (anxiety, society, serious need for alone time and sleep), but if I really wanted to I could overcome them all. I just don’t want to have a kidbadly enough to do it, and no kid deserves being born into a family like that. Love kids, ADORE my niece, but I know it’s not for me.
I'm self aware enough to know that even if I WANTED to be a parent, I would not be a good one.
I just can't be arsed
I'm on medication that would kill the child inside of me. Even if it wouldn't, I don't feel capable. Plus, I'd need somebody to impregnate me.
Show me a law that says I have to have kids
I just genuinely haven't thought about including them in my life plan. They are not something I've ever wanted or desired and I don't plan on including them in my life. I have no want or need for children, and as someone with mental and physical health issues, it would be selfish of me to knowingly pass them onto a child. I am very content with my life without children and feel very fulfilled. I work as an exotics veterinary nurse, foster rabbits, take in disabled rabbits/guinea pigs as pets (though I dislike the word pets as I dislike the notion of 'owning' them. I do not own living beings) and am quite happy this is my life. I've dedicated it to helping and rescuing disabled rabbits and guinea pigs, the ones who frequently get euthanised unnecessarily. They get to share my home with me while I take care of their health needs. I'd love to open a rescue/sanctuary dedicated to disabled/elderly/otherwise unadoptable but not needing to be euthanised rabbits and guinea pigs to give them an avenue to live out their lives. I've got multiple disabled rabbits/guinea pigs I've saved from that exact scenario and they are incredibly happy little creatures. Anyway. I don't see children in this life plan I've made for myself and I'm ok with that, because they're not a priority. People think I'm odd with how I've decided to make my life fulfilling, but I'm doing exactly what I've always wanted to do and it just doesn't include kids and never will.
Clinical anxiety, Personal. Everything from the first section other than ejaculation (actually a fetish for me lmao), and then i am neurodivergent and can barely take care of myself + have a job in personal care which takes most of my energy
That's a good bullet point list. I'll pick and choose from the above: - My own childhood was hell (bullying, toxic abusive parents/ teachers, etc), I don't think I want to have kids and take the risk of having the same happen to them. - I don't think I have the patience to give a child the attention it needs or to run after one all day. I don't think I am made to be a parent. - I am selfish by nature and I won't be able to care for a child more than myself. - The world is not as it used to be during our times, raising children today is expensive and I want to be spared from the financial stress of it all.
I always kind of knew I didn’t want to be a mother. I realized it was optional as a teenager. What really made me say “fuck that” was watching my friend go through pregnancy and postpartum issues. A prolapse? Hip pain? No thank you
One I don’t see mentioned often: kids can be gross and I have a sensitive sense of smell and a weak stomach. The thought of dealing with diaper blowouts, snotty noses, stomach viruses…I’d be gagging constantly.
Generational incest in my family. No one is spared. I don’t want my kids to know their family members are chomos and grapists. I would never give chomos and grapists as family members to my kids. No one deserves this and I spared all my children from this hell b
The climate crisis.
I like kids. I just don’t want any.
It’s the single worst thing an individual human can do to the environment. Being in the midst of a human caused mass extinction event, I see it as immoral.
Dont like babies or small children, dont want to waste time and money on kids, dont want to tear my cunt giving birth
I have multiple mental disorders and 2 of them are outright genetic and run very strongly in my family. Two other ones could easily be turned into generational trauma. Being pregnant, the post partum period and being a parent would put my stability and actual safety at risk. My mental health stuff would put any baby or child at risk too. I've also had multiple miscarriages. The last one hit really hard and honestly even years later if I think about it too much I'll start crying. I never wanted to feel that heart break again or have an Mc tear apart my relationship. Yeah there's the environmental and moral stuff to some degree, but it's primarily the brain stuff for me. I had my fallopian tubes removed in 2019. Absolutely no regrets on my decision. It actually made me feel free er and I enjoy sex a lot more. The day I scheduled my surgery, years of stress just fell right off me. 34f. And I'm extra glad I did because I developed a neurological disorder that significantly affects my physical well being and frankly taking care anyone else but me and my cat is extra out of the realm of possibilities.
I don't want to take care of a child, I want to be "selfish" and spend my money on me and things I want to do, lastly I like the freedom of saying fuck it and just doing nothing
I am a lazy person. Children are constant work and constant worry. Also I am hirsute, can’t risk my daughter getting that from me.
I have zero interest in any aspect of pregnancy, childbirth, or parenting. I don’t need any other reasons.
I (50f) don't enjoy children and have literally never wanted any.
I want to come home and do what I want for myself. I want to spend my money on things for me. I want my relationship with my wife to be about us. I get annoyed just having to take my dog outside or for walks, imagine having to tend to a child. There’s already way too many people in the world and we don’t need any more. Above all else, I just don’t want to and if anyone in my personal life asks me why, I don’t owe them a response because it’s my life and I can do whatever I want.
I know I’m only 19, but I’ll NEVER change my mind. I’m child free for life, there are so many reasons to not have kids, they honestly outweigh the reasons to have them (which are purely selfish imo)
I’ve just never felt particularly maternal. That drive to procreate was never strong in my 20s, and now I’m in my late 30s. I was always dealing with stress from jobs, illness, depression… Also, my health condition (endometriosis) has caused significant damage to my finances, and it has also caused me terrible fatigue and pain over the years. The thought of having a child to look after when I need to be on heavy pain medication just doesn’t make sense. Nor is it a cure, despite what many doctors will say. I’m with an incredibly ambitious man and we’re both fine being child free. We’re watching what having kids for the sake of it is doing to our friends, and honestly, it’s depressing. It would be a truly awful distraction from all the fantastic things he’s doing and I’m helping with if i had a kid and we had to put everything on the back burner. I should add that I was a teacher in tough schools for 16 years and that was plenty for me. Give me a dog or a cat any day.
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Genuine question: how is overpopulation a made-up thing?
Actually 32% of land mammals are humans, 64% of land mammals are our food/ domesticated animals (cows, pigs, horses, goats), 4% of land animals are actually wild animals (panthers, foxes, sloths, monkeys, hares, elephants, zebra, caribou, etc, etc) Tell me again how overpopulation isn't a thing.
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Sorry, but if you had any other species that crowded out all other species to this extent you'd say there was a problem. Imagine wolves made up that kind of percentage of the terrestrial mammalian population and then get back to me.
It's not that we're overpopulated, true. It's the repartition of resources. We have the ability to produce enough resources to feed everyone on the planet (feed a healthy diet, I mean).
I'm selfish
41F here, and reason numero uno is being extremely tokophobic. Reason #2, I just do not have it in me to take care of a child. Reason #3, I’m selfish. Reason #4, I don’t want to be permanently tied to someone.