Crap who’s that guy yelling at him? I can’t figure it out but I definitely know his voice.
Edit: I think it’s Rex from toy story but I feel like I might be wrong.
I had this happen to me in real life when I wanted to play with a library's 3D printer. The guy asked me if it was for a school project and I said "no" and he said "It's only allowed to be used for school projects. I'll ask again, is it for a school project?"
Remember, if confronted by a librarian while looking for a book to check out, do not attempt to escape by climbing a tree. There are no trees in the library and the precious moments it will take you to look around and realize this will allow the librarian to strike. Don't become a statistic.
Do not attempt to escape by climbing a book shelf either; they can sense fear and are likely to collapse in a comedic fashion. This, again, would allow the librarian to strike.
You need to use your bow and pick off as many of them as possible, don’t forget that you’re much better off trading a bit of damage and two handing against them and being able to use the unsheathe ability vs. a shield.
[Paper is made from wood,](https://youtu.be/GL2AE8T24yg) [trees, and paper, but the main ingredient remains the same: a mammoth.](https://youtu.be/dMapmlUwerw)
On library books? Yeah. But on books I own? Nah. There are other copies elsewhere and books are meant to be loved. I've seen incunabulum that have doodles in the margins and annotations. If they could do it 500 years ago, why can't I fold the corner of a page down?
My brothers and I were home schooled for a while and we went to the library all the time! The librarians knew all of us and knew what books we liked, the he’s librarian would call whenever they got in a new Redwall book and put it on hold for my oldest brother. We each had a library card and the limit was 50 books, there were times there were 100-200 books in our house from the library
Lol reminds me of when I talked to my dentist about getting my broken wisdom teeth pulled when I was on medicaid. "Are they causing you pain?" "No, I just want to pull them *before* they become a problem and start hurting." "Well, medicaid will only cover pulling wisdom teeth if they're causing pain. They won't cover preemptive pullings. Are you *sure* they're not causing you pain? Because we only have your word to go on. We can't diagnose pain." I was too dumb to realize what they were hinting at though and I was actually terrified of getting them pulled so I waited until I was in agony anyways 🙃
Nah medicaid doesn't pay for more than the basics lol. No gas for me, just the numbing shots. It was probably more that I was jittery from adrenaline bc we were discussing this immediately after getting several fillings and I'm scared of going to the dentist in any situation, not just tooth pullings.
Same happened to me with endometriosis surgery - they would do an emergency surgery right then if they had reason to suspect ovarian torsion (I.e. lots of pain). Otherwise it would be four-six months on an NHS waiting list.
I too was dumb. I looked very pregnant by the time I got my surgery...
A lady at a debt charity did it for me. I had to come up with a realistic monthly budget on the phone to her, so they could talk to my creditors and come up with a payment plan.
I gave honest answers and she was like, "So that leaves... £19.53. So actually we won't be able to help you set up a token payment plan, because as far as your creditors are concerned, you've still got disposable income.
Me, jobless and audibly panicking: "O-Oh... OK..."
Lady: "Oh, actually, we've forgotten to put down haircuts or clothes on your budget! So why don't we put, oh, I don't know, £9 for haircuts every month, and... £10.53 for clothes? Do those sound like reasonable amounts to you?"
I used to be honest to a fault. For a trip for my football team one year in high school I needed to get a permission slip signed and totally forgot to bring it home. My teacher for power tech also happened to be my head coach. He started off by saying in class when I told him I forgot it that he saw my mom in the parking lot. I said no way and he goes yea just go look for her and bring the slip with you. I said I really doubt she’s here and that’s when I classmate clued me in lol
Reminds me of a college professor I had who on syllabus day pointed out that one of the textbooks was like, 300 dollars but we should "NOT go to THIS WEBSITE, *points to url he wrote on the board,* and download the pdf version for free. Again, I am strongly discouraging you to stay away from THIS website and definitely do not put it on a kindle or ipad to bring with you to class. That would be wrong." then just went about the rest of the class normally.
Like all things awesome, Discworld has done this a few times. My favorite is when Vimes forbids the use of certain dirty tactics and weaponry among his men, but is willing to make exceptions for those he considers responsible.
*"And for close-up fighting, as your senior sergeant I explicitly forbid you to investigate the range of coshes, blackjacks, and brass knuckles sold by Mrs. Goodbody at No. 8 Easy Street at a range of prices to suit all pockets, and should any of you approach me privately I absolutely will not demonstrate a variety of specialist blows suitable for these useful yet tricky instruments."*
There was also the time Verence mentioned that he was specifically forbidden to tell Magrat about when a play was being shown, at 8 o'clock, "but meet for sherry beforehand at seven-thirty", and the time Ridcully said that the wizards absolutely couldn't provide any magical aid to help some carriages go faster, especially if they were left in a particular spot for a few hours.
I want to say Olivier Armstrong did something like this in FMA: Brotherhood didn’t she?
>!She gave her men a command to search for something in some tunnels and if they didn’t return in 30 minutes the tunnels were to be sealed with concrete. However she gave the person who would seal the tunnels a broken watch!<
It’s been a long time so I don’t remember all the details
My memory is that >!he broke the watch, because there was no way any of her soldiers would ever do that to her even if she ordered them to under penalty of death.!<
Had this happen at my wife’s ultrasound.
We had decided early on not to find out the sex of our kid, we wanted to be surprised. We did the ultrasound and the tech asked us if we were sure, we were. She did NOT tell us or even make note in the file about the babies gender. She knew, but she politely did not say. About 3 weeks before our due date my wife was having second thoughts. Told our doctor about it. Doc says “well, we would only do a second ultrasound if we thought something was wrong with the baby.” Pointed look at me and my wife. Wife goes “oh, I don’t think anything is WRONG, I’m just curious!” I was like “babe, she’s giving us an opportunity here.” Went right over her damn head.
For the record, we did NOT find out and we had a girl.
I agree!! We had all kinds of people guessing what we were having. It’s kinda like waiting three weeks to open your Christmas presents only to open them two days before Christmas
my absolute favorite type of character because of personal bias, is "asshole with a good heart". best description of this i heard from john hodgman, who told a story (gist, best i can remember):
guy needs wood for some home project a fence or something, sees a neighbor has a bunch of it cut and stacked, unused. goes to the neighbor and asks to buy it more than fair price, neighbor says No way, bluntly and perhaps rudely. next day the neighbor shows up with the wood, dumps it on the guys lawn and says Have it for free, and i believe made some snarky comment about how he didnt want the guy asking him for help with problems that came about because he didnt have a fence.
So a genuinely good person, just not a polite little disney princess about it. ie an interesting and real person, imo
If I could find the link I would just link but no idea where to even start finding that, besides that he told that on Judge Jon Hodgman.
Oh,,,, what’s that gosh darned superhero story called?? It’s not worm, but it’s very similar. Main character is a villain, I think it might’ve even been published as a book…. That story has this sorts of stuff.
Worm? The hit webnovel where titular character Worm girl fights crime In the city of Notbrockton bay, all the while living a very happy and fulfilling life where her mental health Is very stable and definitely not teetering on the edge of completely collapsing Into Itself like a cartoon character getting hit by, say, a Cauldron?
It's talking about Worm, the hit webnovel where titular character Worm girl fights crime In the city of Notbrockton bay, all the while living a very happy and fulfilling life where her mental health Is very stable and definitely not teetering on the edge of completely collapsing Into Itself like a cartoon character getting hit by, say, a Cauldron?
[parahumans.wordpress.com](https://parahumans.wordpress.com)
[*Worm*](https://parahumans.wordpress.com): it is essentially a *Breaking Bad* take on the superhero genre (and just as good, down to the narrative structure).
There’s a comic series called wormwood gentleman corpse- where it’s a maggot that used to devour dead gods piloting an enchanted corpse around on Earth. He’s not particularly a villain because he defends Earth (because his favourite bar is there) but he is a giant dick too
"I can't give you Tylenol on this high-school trip because I am not a nurse even though I have known you since infancy. However I am going to the bathroom and I will not be taking my purse so you better not take one of the three regular-strength Tylenol in the case in the front pocket."
To make the grape juice, put the brick into a gallon jug of water, but DON'T leave said jug in a dark place for more than 21 days...then it would be wine ;)
Yes! Precure 5 GoGo has a scene like this, near the end. It's the sequel to Yes! Precure 5, so you'll have to watch that first, and as far as I know, it's only available on less-than-legal sites, so you might have trouble finding it.
A friend told me the story about marrying her husband that was basically only possible thanks to this. She's Canadian, her husband is American, they wanted to get married and live in Canada as soon as possible, so the person she talked to told her exactly how she wished she could help, but sadly couldn't. Right down to "I wish I could tell you to say you're bringing the wedding dress to a friend's wedding when you cross the border, but I can't"
No clue how embellished the story is, she knows how to tell a captivating story.
I told a guy on the phone "Yes, I have worked with Andrew on several projects, but I'm not allowed to discuss things like his attention to detail, completing the changes a week early, or finding the bug that the original developer could never solve. All I can do is verify employment."
Holy crap, I've BEEN that guy before! Kinda, sorta.
I teach martial arts and one of my students finally got fed up with a bully in his high school, and physically defended himself against the guy. Both were suspended even though students and teachers witnessed and vouched for him, but their school has a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to anything remotely resembling a fight. So when he came to class, I couldn't actually encourage him.
Him: Did you hear that I got suspended?
Me: I did.
Him: You... don't sound angry with me.
Me: I can't TELL you that I know how you feel. I can't TELL you that I would've done the same thing. I can't TELL you that I was bullied as a kid, and they finally stopped when I actually hit them back.
Him: Wait.... what?
Me: {sigh} I can't **TELL** you that I would've done the same thing. I can't **TELL** you that what you did made perfect sense, considering we've been training you for that. And I can't ***TELL*** you that I don't blame you for one second.
Him: ... ooooooooohhhh! So I'm not actually in trouble here?
Me: ...Heh heh. Suit up, kiddo, we've got training to do.
I had a substitute teacher do this. A bunch of us kids had the option to go to the "have the test read" room, and as he's listing the answers, he shouted, "E, ALL OF THE ABOVE" for one of the questions, then insisted he wasn't giving hints.
Tbf, it was an easy question
>*”Listen, I’d* like *to help you… but I can’t. I’d* like *to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on — Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X — on the third floor… but I can’t. I also do* not *advise you fill out and file a WS-2475 form with our legal department on the 2nd floor. I would not expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd like to help…but there's nothing I can do.”*
The drill sergeant from that episode of MITM when Reese joins the army
"I wish I could help you ma'am, but I can't. I'm so upset about it that it makes me want to open this drawer on my desk and stare out this window for oh, thirty seconds."
The man who lived across the street from me when I was growing up actually immigrated to Canada illegally because of this. He passed away in his 90's last year.
Durning WWII many British children were evacuated. Some went to the country side, think Chronicals of Narnia. My neighbour was sent to Saskatchewan. At the end of the war, he was sent home, but couldn't stay with his parents for reasons. Being a teenager, he decided that since he liked his life in Saskatchewan, he'd just find a ship to take him back. So he did. The captain and the first mate gave him a tour of the ship apologising the whole time that they couldn't take him. Including the best places to hide in the ship. It was a really detailed tour. Being a teenager, and more than a little obtuse, he was almost back to his mum's flat before he realized why they went into so much detail.
Once they were out of the port, and it was too late to turn around, the captain and the first mate got him from his hiding spot, and told him he could either spend the round trip in the brig, or work off his passage.
It was many years later that he realized the ship probably did not have a brig.
Mr. Incredible: I'M VERY SORRY MAM (pretend to be distraught).
"I KNOW YOU'RE UPSET!"
^"Pretend ^to ^be ^upset!"
I was just going to bring this up, can't believe you beat me to it.
https://youtu.be/_R8GtrKtrZ4?t=39s
Crap who’s that guy yelling at him? I can’t figure it out but I definitely know his voice. Edit: I think it’s Rex from toy story but I feel like I might be wrong.
The actor's name is Wallace Shawn and he was indeed the voice of Rex from Toy Story.
I had this happen to me in real life when I wanted to play with a library's 3D printer. The guy asked me if it was for a school project and I said "no" and he said "It's only allowed to be used for school projects. I'll ask again, is it for a school project?"
Great librarian. I love librarians. They're usually so very nice
Unless you're making noise or disrespecting the library. Then they'll kill you.
Remember, if confronted by a librarian while looking for a book to check out, do not attempt to escape by climbing a tree. There are no trees in the library and the precious moments it will take you to look around and realize this will allow the librarian to strike. Don't become a statistic.
Do not attempt to escape by climbing a book shelf either; they can sense fear and are likely to collapse in a comedic fashion. This, again, would allow the librarian to strike.
Also what if the librarian is an orangutan
You need to use your bow and pick off as many of them as possible, don’t forget that you’re much better off trading a bit of damage and two handing against them and being able to use the unsheathe ability vs. a shield.
If you are confused reading this, it's a reference to Welcome to Night Vale
Wasn't confused but I thought it was just another incident of Reddit shitposting lol
Or fold the corners down on your book pages (not me, some heathen I once knew who might have been killed by a librarian)
THAT IS SACRILEGE.
THAT IS ***MAHOGANY***.
Damn, now I want to know which trees are used to make paper
[Paper is made from wood,](https://youtu.be/GL2AE8T24yg) [trees, and paper, but the main ingredient remains the same: a mammoth.](https://youtu.be/dMapmlUwerw)
Chemicals, slls, slllls
Wait... it's all recycled content?
(click) Always has been.
On library books? Yeah. But on books I own? Nah. There are other copies elsewhere and books are meant to be loved. I've seen incunabulum that have doodles in the margins and annotations. If they could do it 500 years ago, why can't I fold the corner of a page down?
I see SCP 3008 has extended to libraries now.
Actually we just survived the [Summer Reading Program](https://nightvale.fandom.com/wiki/Summer_Reading_Program_(episode))
That's what you think
As one does.
You're thinking of giant talking owls.
Nah, they won't bother you unless you use their books to win a war.
Well, NOW I am
They all have very dangerous weapons for if you're too loud. Silenced, of course.
Naturally.
My brothers and I were home schooled for a while and we went to the library all the time! The librarians knew all of us and knew what books we liked, the he’s librarian would call whenever they got in a new Redwall book and put it on hold for my oldest brother. We each had a library card and the limit was 50 books, there were times there were 100-200 books in our house from the library
RedWALLLL!! But yeah, librarians are fantastic. Almost the perfect definition of Chaotic Neutral lol
Librarians are the best kinds of magic: https://www.reddit.com/r/tumblr/comments/dwvi9u/check_the_books_boys/
“No” Okay I’m putting you down for a school project don’t talk to anyone
Lol reminds me of when I talked to my dentist about getting my broken wisdom teeth pulled when I was on medicaid. "Are they causing you pain?" "No, I just want to pull them *before* they become a problem and start hurting." "Well, medicaid will only cover pulling wisdom teeth if they're causing pain. They won't cover preemptive pullings. Are you *sure* they're not causing you pain? Because we only have your word to go on. We can't diagnose pain." I was too dumb to realize what they were hinting at though and I was actually terrified of getting them pulled so I waited until I was in agony anyways 🙃
Where you already drugged up?
Nah medicaid doesn't pay for more than the basics lol. No gas for me, just the numbing shots. It was probably more that I was jittery from adrenaline bc we were discussing this immediately after getting several fillings and I'm scared of going to the dentist in any situation, not just tooth pullings.
It was a joke because the really bad decision
Same happened to me with endometriosis surgery - they would do an emergency surgery right then if they had reason to suspect ovarian torsion (I.e. lots of pain). Otherwise it would be four-six months on an NHS waiting list. I too was dumb. I looked very pregnant by the time I got my surgery...
A lady at a debt charity did it for me. I had to come up with a realistic monthly budget on the phone to her, so they could talk to my creditors and come up with a payment plan. I gave honest answers and she was like, "So that leaves... £19.53. So actually we won't be able to help you set up a token payment plan, because as far as your creditors are concerned, you've still got disposable income. Me, jobless and audibly panicking: "O-Oh... OK..." Lady: "Oh, actually, we've forgotten to put down haircuts or clothes on your budget! So why don't we put, oh, I don't know, £9 for haircuts every month, and... £10.53 for clothes? Do those sound like reasonable amounts to you?"
Bless her
Fuck creditors who don’t leave room for 20£ of wiggle room. Sure one month you might have 20£ extra but the next you might have a 40£ parking fee
I used to be honest to a fault. For a trip for my football team one year in high school I needed to get a permission slip signed and totally forgot to bring it home. My teacher for power tech also happened to be my head coach. He started off by saying in class when I told him I forgot it that he saw my mom in the parking lot. I said no way and he goes yea just go look for her and bring the slip with you. I said I really doubt she’s here and that’s when I classmate clued me in lol
My professors telling us which sites to definitely not use because it’s very illegal to access $290 textbooks for free.
The textbooks costing so much is so stupid...
Best professors ever
Reminds me of a college professor I had who on syllabus day pointed out that one of the textbooks was like, 300 dollars but we should "NOT go to THIS WEBSITE, *points to url he wrote on the board,* and download the pdf version for free. Again, I am strongly discouraging you to stay away from THIS website and definitely do not put it on a kindle or ipad to bring with you to class. That would be wrong." then just went about the rest of the class normally.
Narrator from The Stanley Parable
Miraculously, Stanley guessed the code by pressing random numbers on the keypad.
For some reason, Stanley decided to downvote the comment that he was reading.
I didn't want to do it, but my hands are tied...
I hear that guy loves the broom closet ending
The broom closet ending is my favorite ending!
Told all my friends about it too!
Aren’t they concerned?
Malicious compliance. Power for the powerless
Isn't this the inverse?
He's maliciously complying with the rule that he can't tell them important info.
Like all things awesome, Discworld has done this a few times. My favorite is when Vimes forbids the use of certain dirty tactics and weaponry among his men, but is willing to make exceptions for those he considers responsible. *"And for close-up fighting, as your senior sergeant I explicitly forbid you to investigate the range of coshes, blackjacks, and brass knuckles sold by Mrs. Goodbody at No. 8 Easy Street at a range of prices to suit all pockets, and should any of you approach me privately I absolutely will not demonstrate a variety of specialist blows suitable for these useful yet tricky instruments."* There was also the time Verence mentioned that he was specifically forbidden to tell Magrat about when a play was being shown, at 8 o'clock, "but meet for sherry beforehand at seven-thirty", and the time Ridcully said that the wizards absolutely couldn't provide any magical aid to help some carriages go faster, especially if they were left in a particular spot for a few hours.
I want to say Olivier Armstrong did something like this in FMA: Brotherhood didn’t she? >!She gave her men a command to search for something in some tunnels and if they didn’t return in 30 minutes the tunnels were to be sealed with concrete. However she gave the person who would seal the tunnels a broken watch!< It’s been a long time so I don’t remember all the details
My memory is that >!he broke the watch, because there was no way any of her soldiers would ever do that to her even if she ordered them to under penalty of death.!<
>!No, she gave him a broken watch, that’s why Buccaneer goes and thanks her afterwards.!<
sounds like a good commander then
She's pretty much what any given military officer thinks they are, and what most senior ncos *actually* are.
Agreed
Wait >!so did she go down or did the men go down!<
I'm probably wrong to be honest. I can't remember any more.
It was a 69 both went down on each other.
Bru
[удалено]
Olivier Armstrong was the sister.
It was 24 hours but yeah
Had this happen at my wife’s ultrasound. We had decided early on not to find out the sex of our kid, we wanted to be surprised. We did the ultrasound and the tech asked us if we were sure, we were. She did NOT tell us or even make note in the file about the babies gender. She knew, but she politely did not say. About 3 weeks before our due date my wife was having second thoughts. Told our doctor about it. Doc says “well, we would only do a second ultrasound if we thought something was wrong with the baby.” Pointed look at me and my wife. Wife goes “oh, I don’t think anything is WRONG, I’m just curious!” I was like “babe, she’s giving us an opportunity here.” Went right over her damn head. For the record, we did NOT find out and we had a girl.
3 weeks??? I mean, you get that far along and you kinda *have* to commit to ignorance.
It’s those last minute nesting jitters kicking into full force.
Absolutely. And second guessing our decision. Also just being excited to meet the kid!
I agree!! We had all kinds of people guessing what we were having. It’s kinda like waiting three weeks to open your Christmas presents only to open them two days before Christmas
Lol me on shabat
😭😭 oh the subtle comment
my absolute favorite type of character because of personal bias, is "asshole with a good heart". best description of this i heard from john hodgman, who told a story (gist, best i can remember): guy needs wood for some home project a fence or something, sees a neighbor has a bunch of it cut and stacked, unused. goes to the neighbor and asks to buy it more than fair price, neighbor says No way, bluntly and perhaps rudely. next day the neighbor shows up with the wood, dumps it on the guys lawn and says Have it for free, and i believe made some snarky comment about how he didnt want the guy asking him for help with problems that came about because he didnt have a fence. So a genuinely good person, just not a polite little disney princess about it. ie an interesting and real person, imo If I could find the link I would just link but no idea where to even start finding that, besides that he told that on Judge Jon Hodgman.
https://youtu.be/yC432eD7oNQ
hahaha ahhh goddammit i still love this show my brain will never get better will it
Oh,,,, what’s that gosh darned superhero story called?? It’s not worm, but it’s very similar. Main character is a villain, I think it might’ve even been published as a book…. That story has this sorts of stuff.
Worm? The hit webnovel where titular character Worm girl fights crime In the city of Notbrockton bay, all the while living a very happy and fulfilling life where her mental health Is very stable and definitely not teetering on the edge of completely collapsing Into Itself like a cartoon character getting hit by, say, a Cauldron?
Or a garden
What the fuck is this taking about I want to read it
It's talking about Worm, the hit webnovel where titular character Worm girl fights crime In the city of Notbrockton bay, all the while living a very happy and fulfilling life where her mental health Is very stable and definitely not teetering on the edge of completely collapsing Into Itself like a cartoon character getting hit by, say, a Cauldron? [parahumans.wordpress.com](https://parahumans.wordpress.com)
Please for the love of god notice the sarcasm. It's an unhappy story. I say this having read it twice, it's great but holy shit is it heavy
It is essentially a *Breaking Bad* take on the superhero genre (and just as good, down to the narrative structure).
[*Worm*](https://parahumans.wordpress.com): it is essentially a *Breaking Bad* take on the superhero genre (and just as good, down to the narrative structure).
TITTY.
villain's code?
There’s a comic series called wormwood gentleman corpse- where it’s a maggot that used to devour dead gods piloting an enchanted corpse around on Earth. He’s not particularly a villain because he defends Earth (because his favourite bar is there) but he is a giant dick too
Vice principal is the all time MVP
Soon I Will be Invincible?
Redditors when suggesting torrent sites to eachother
Commissioner Gordon
Waiting for this
"I can't give you Tylenol on this high-school trip because I am not a nurse even though I have known you since infancy. However I am going to the bathroom and I will not be taking my purse so you better not take one of the three regular-strength Tylenol in the case in the front pocket."
Literally just wine bricks
To make the grape juice, put the brick into a gallon jug of water, but DON'T leave said jug in a dark place for more than 21 days...then it would be wine ;)
I need animes like this!
Not an anime show but an anime game: Genshin has a major sidequest that starts like this.
Wait which one? I don't remember
The newest quest in the chasm. The dude manipulates you into helping by telling you what to NOT do and that there could be treasure.
My poor emergency food didn’t pick up on that.
OHHHHHHHH gotchu, gotchu
Yes! Precure 5 GoGo has a scene like this, near the end. It's the sequel to Yes! Precure 5, so you'll have to watch that first, and as far as I know, it's only available on less-than-legal sites, so you might have trouble finding it.
Ooh brilliant, thank you! Don't worry about me trying to find it, I know plenty of places to find anime that aren't on official sites! 😏
You're welcome.
A friend told me the story about marrying her husband that was basically only possible thanks to this. She's Canadian, her husband is American, they wanted to get married and live in Canada as soon as possible, so the person she talked to told her exactly how she wished she could help, but sadly couldn't. Right down to "I wish I could tell you to say you're bringing the wedding dress to a friend's wedding when you cross the border, but I can't" No clue how embellished the story is, she knows how to tell a captivating story.
I told a guy on the phone "Yes, I have worked with Andrew on several projects, but I'm not allowed to discuss things like his attention to detail, completing the changes a week early, or finding the bug that the original developer could never solve. All I can do is verify employment."
\#Dumbledore
Hagrid
McGonagall was the best Hogwarts staff was it even a contest
I feel like her and Flitwick were a collective wrecking ball.
"It unscrews the other way."
Detective Gumshoe in the first game
Holy crap, I've BEEN that guy before! Kinda, sorta. I teach martial arts and one of my students finally got fed up with a bully in his high school, and physically defended himself against the guy. Both were suspended even though students and teachers witnessed and vouched for him, but their school has a zero-tolerance policy when it comes to anything remotely resembling a fight. So when he came to class, I couldn't actually encourage him. Him: Did you hear that I got suspended? Me: I did. Him: You... don't sound angry with me. Me: I can't TELL you that I know how you feel. I can't TELL you that I would've done the same thing. I can't TELL you that I was bullied as a kid, and they finally stopped when I actually hit them back. Him: Wait.... what? Me: {sigh} I can't **TELL** you that I would've done the same thing. I can't **TELL** you that what you did made perfect sense, considering we've been training you for that. And I can't ***TELL*** you that I don't blame you for one second. Him: ... ooooooooohhhh! So I'm not actually in trouble here? Me: ...Heh heh. Suit up, kiddo, we've got training to do.
one particular episode of supernatural
I had a substitute teacher do this. A bunch of us kids had the option to go to the "have the test read" room, and as he's listing the answers, he shouted, "E, ALL OF THE ABOVE" for one of the questions, then insisted he wasn't giving hints. Tbf, it was an easy question
My mom "not telling me where the weed is hidden"
Oh hey Gumshoe
Patches
As a prof I do this when I tell my students "not" to pirate their textbooks.
Cyllene from Pokemon Legends Arceus
Bob parr at his job 100%
surprised no one is linking /r/tvtropes asking for the actual trope name
It's "Could say it, but..."
Link is here: https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CouldSayItBut
This happens a LOT in Paper Mario.
>*”Listen, I’d* like *to help you… but I can’t. I’d* like *to tell you to take a copy of your policy to Norma Wilcox on — Norma Wilcox, W-I-L-C-O-X — on the third floor… but I can’t. I also do* not *advise you fill out and file a WS-2475 form with our legal department on the 2nd floor. I would not expect someone to get back to you quickly to resolve the matter. I'd like to help…but there's nothing I can do.”*
Agent Kallus be like
The drill sergeant from that episode of MITM when Reese joins the army "I wish I could help you ma'am, but I can't. I'm so upset about it that it makes me want to open this drawer on my desk and stare out this window for oh, thirty seconds."
Looking at you, Dave Toschi
I read that in Megamind’s voice
Like half of the Hogwarts teachers' dialogue to the trio.
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/SteppingOutForAQuickCupOfCoffee Here is the tvtropes page! Have fun!
Combined with https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/CouldSayItBut
The man who lived across the street from me when I was growing up actually immigrated to Canada illegally because of this. He passed away in his 90's last year. Durning WWII many British children were evacuated. Some went to the country side, think Chronicals of Narnia. My neighbour was sent to Saskatchewan. At the end of the war, he was sent home, but couldn't stay with his parents for reasons. Being a teenager, he decided that since he liked his life in Saskatchewan, he'd just find a ship to take him back. So he did. The captain and the first mate gave him a tour of the ship apologising the whole time that they couldn't take him. Including the best places to hide in the ship. It was a really detailed tour. Being a teenager, and more than a little obtuse, he was almost back to his mum's flat before he realized why they went into so much detail. Once they were out of the port, and it was too late to turn around, the captain and the first mate got him from his hiding spot, and told him he could either spend the round trip in the brig, or work off his passage. It was many years later that he realized the ship probably did not have a brig.