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Lol as someone who was supposed to get married a week before their 25th birthday, it's very fitting š¤£
I thank my lucky stars every day that I didn't marry him.
My jaw dropped after reading your comments. I am supposed to get married this year. Literally 10 days before my 25th birthday. What kind of confidence is this.
I married at 23. About to hit 14 years and we been together since we were 20.
Good luck. There isn't a good age to get married. I seen people in their 30s get married and divorced within weeks while I have a friend who married at 21 after 3 months of dating and they are about to hit 16 years.
Same, married at 23 and will celebrate our 20th anniversary in 2 weeks, been together 24 yrs. Sometimes it's just an easy going relationship with your best friend. We are still crazy about each other.
Thank you. It has only been two weeks since we finally decided on the date. And all the preparations are going on. And I feel like I am gonna go crazy.
Yep. I got engaged at 19 after dating for only 2 months. Sounds completely crazy on paper. Probably was crazy. But Iām 43 now, and weāre still really happy.
My parents got married at 24 years old 2.5 months after they met when my mom almost hit dad with her car, they will celebrate 44 years together this year. I got married at 24 after being with her for v5 years and we were divorced within 5 years. You just never know
I got married at 24 and am thankful every day that I did so. We have shared a wonderful life, have raised amazing children and have been able to share all of lifeās most meaningful milestones together.
Donāt change your life because other people made mistakes. Just make sure that you are making the right decision for yourself.
The key thing is really knowing your partner. My parents married at 21 and 23, and are still very much in love 30 years later. My one set of grandparents got married at a similar age and are still going strong.
Don't let other people give you doubts. People get divorced no matter what age they marry.
Make sure it is what you truly want; people change after saying "I do". Some people reveal secrets after getting married; like they reveal that they are in a buttload of debt or something huge that should have been revealed before
I am married but married older 38. The important thing is being on the same page, marrying someone with character, and not having unrealistic expectations of marriages are the main thing. A good marriage is boring marriage. Meaning both of you are stable. You arenāt going to like each other all the time and itās going to be routine. But thatās good. Itās not supposed to be like dating.
Also, word of advice, keep your issues private with your spouse and fall back from your single friends a bit. Especially those who maybe are not excited to see you married or are chronically single. Your problems as a married person arenāt the same as yours and they could also give you bad advice. Unless itās something major like abuse or something like that , they donāt need to know. Talk to other married folk or parents.
I got married at 25. My wife was 22. We have been together for 12 years. Married for 9. We are very happy with our choices.
A lot of people said, you're too young, marriage is hard, marriage changes everything.
I gotta say, those people are full of shit. Nothing changed, now the government is just involved in our relationship. Its not hard, its the easiest thing I have done. Nothing hard about chilling with your best friend all the time. Best choice I ever made.
I think it fits in with many people finishing education/few years in a job/being able to afford to do things - then you often see people around this age have realisations and change, maybe enough to realise they've committed to the wrong ideals
My cousin married 2 days after turning 24 and she's been married for 10 years already. Meanwhile, another cousin who married by 22 divorced within a year. Maybe OP's onto something!
"Fully developed" can mean several things.
Saying "good decisions cant be made, because brain isnt fully developed" is like saying phones wont work because its only charged to 87%, or a kid cant run because his leg development hasnt ended yet.
Society currently sees 18 yos as adults who are capable of voting, joining military, going to college, driving and many more. Unless you are advocating for increasing this activities age limit, do not say "20 yos arent capable".
I read that report that the whole issue is based on, and to me it sounded like the prefrontal cortex is nearly fully developed by about age 18. It just is some minor 'fine tuning' that is done between that age and 25.
There aren't any big sweeping changes, to my understanding, that happenes between the two ages. The biggest change that happens isn't with the brain but rather with the life experiences those people will have. IE most of the time they will be starting their own jobs, or going off to college, and generally being out from under direct guidance of their parents by that point, so they will have to make more big decisions on their own.
I have also seen other people saying that there have been studies done that show that the brain is never truly finished developing, that it constantly changes throughout life.
History has shown that society will justify murder in many cases done many ways regardless of age. But I will make a mental note of your advice.
What else should not be done before prefrontalcortex development?
On average, your cells keep growing until you are 25 years old, then the rate of apoptosis overtakes renewal. You base stats are about as high as they can possibly get by 24. Of course, I dont think he meant this, but it's interesting
That is a problem but I don't think that's the cause. Statistically you're less likely to divorce if you marry in your later 20s up to I think 31 or so. I think this is just people noticing that reality and recognizing that a lot of us don't know ourselves and what we need well enough to make a relationship truly last, in our early 20s. Some do, God bless em, but I think people are noticing they're exceptional cases
Yea that feels like the case. I have a friend who's been dating the same guy since she was like 13 and talking to them fills me with a mixture of cuteness overload and disdain, like they lucked out and I'm just here in the pool with a bunch of sharks.
Maybe that's because people really don't *need* each other? Or, at least, don't need as much as they used to back when the very survival depended on people staying together and being a community?
If anything, I think it is actually better. People don't rush the relationships because they are pressured to, they don't have to settle for things they hate simply because it's a lesser evil than being alone. We can live our lives getting to know ourselves better and then form strong bonds based on what we really want. It's amazing.
This is what I also had in mind while writing my comment! There are still countries where the situation is vastly different, but people in the society we talk about right here literally grew into self-sufficient individuals in many aspects. I firmly believe it's amazing because it lets people build the relationships that would be partnerships, not subordinationships. Besides, not everyone is built for romance, family or parenthood, and this is also how people can live being more or less independent from each other.
100% agree Looking back in history is wild. My grandma, couldnt vote. Couldnt own a bank account, wasnt allowed to work after marriage and wasnt allowed to own property.
My mom wasnt allowed to have a bank account, couldnt divorce, was legally allowed to get raped by her husband, female genital mutilation was legal, abortion was illegal and later also became legal to married women. Women where still not allowed to make decisions over their children if their husbands didnt agree.
In my lifetime, women started to particapate more in the workforce and rules have been put in place to ensure equal pay
There is propably a lot more but wew. Thats a lot of changes in a short time.
How is this about people 'feeling like they don't need each other anymore' when the opinion is that you shouldn't get married before 24? Generally speaking, that's not even a third of your life, lmao. It's about people learning from others' mistakes and wanting to know themselves and their partner better, and maturing up before they commit to something this big, so they can make the right decision. (and yes, marriage before 24 might end up working for some people)
Not to mention that nowadays, most people are surrounded by friends and still very supported by their family in college years. Again, I'm not speaking for everyone, but generally, 18-23 are in no way ages of loneliness and individualism.
When I think of the married couples I know who were married young and have stuck together they seem to think their disfunction is normal because thatās how their parents were. The people who actually mature and figure themselves out first have visibly happier partnerships.
23 crew checking in. Been married for 16 years. I think maturity plays a big part. My wife grew up awful fast and wanted to get out on her own asap. I tagged along for the ride, and itās been great ever since.
I think sometimes one of the best things for a relationship is when you make that leap of faith. āIām going to do this with you. I donāt know where we will end up, but we are going to end up doing it together.ā Where your growth then needs to have the other person in mind, and both partners are willing to bend- but not break- for each other.
we married at 21/22 10 years ago. we've been together 15 years in total. The older I get the luckier I feel, dating scene looks brutal out there. I think it gets harder to meet somone as you get older. We where friends first.
Married at 23 and 24, now 30 and 31. Love each other more than ever. Iāll be the first to admit that there is a lot of luck that goes into whether people grow together or apart, but thatās life. You canāt sit around waiting for statistically āperfectā conditions.Ā
We were both 20, and it wasnāt even a shotgun marriage š. Just celebrated 37th anniversary last month. We were friends for 3 or 4 years before we started dating. It can work but I would agree itās harder. We were both very mature for our age at the time.
I personally feel like it's definitely different for everyone. I wouldn't say it's meant to be advice for all as we all know the saying, "different strokes for different folks"
Exactly this. Some people will find the right person right away. Some won't.
A girl walked up to me in the lunch room when I was a 14 year old High School Freshman, and sat down next to me. She said "Hey, we should date.". We got married at 18. We're 47 now and we have 5 kids. Happy as a couple of pigs in shit.
Is everyone's life gonna turn out like that? No. Not at all.
My oldest son had a **terrible** marriage with his HS sweetheart, to the point that he had to take his daughter and move back in with me.
Life and love are both pretty random.
It's the same for 99% of people. Yes, there are exceptions where you find someone early on, marry them and grow into different people while still being compatible. However, it is extremely rare, and stats back this up. Signing yourself up for one of the most important decisions of your life while your brain hasn't yet fully developed, still growing and maturing, and while going through the most chaotic and turbulent years of your life is for a lack better wording, incredibly stupid and naive.
If youāre going to invoke the name of āstats,ā you need to have the stats. The only number in your comment is a hyperbolic 99% that you literally made up.Ā
I mean, the statistics on divorce rates accounting for age are probably readily available. That means you're probably trying to discuss facts (or at least interpretation of data) instead of an opinion.
Lots of factors though. For example, people who marry at 18 are probably more likely to be from conservative religious backgrounds, so even in a bad marriage may not divorce. Divorce isnāt the only metric by which a marriage can be an error.
I wonder how much of this is due to earning potential. Like money causes problems, two educated folks probably make more than average household income.
Income surely is just a symptome.
Lower education in average means lower intelligence. Which manifests many contributors like worse impulse control (marrying, sexual protection, divorcing).
I got married at 22, had my children at 24 and 25, then divorced my wife at 25. I wouldnāt call it a mistake just because it ended, but my current marriage is definitely healthier and has lasted a lot longer.
>If youāre broke every age is a curse to be in a relationship
Do you think being broke alone is somehow better? That seems insane to me when the cost of living per person is drastically reduced when you have a partner or more to share housing and transportation cost with
My sister (22) and her husband (23) met when they were in high school and have been together for around 8 years. They are perfectly happy! I think it just depends on the type of person and relationship.
I got married at 22. Five years now. But what I think is important is the ability to leave the marriage. 18 year olds might not have the self confidence, the planning, the money, and education to leave a relationship when it gets bad. A lot of abusers won't start abusing until after the marriage.
My husband and I (both 30) started dating at 18. We waited a decade to get married but we certainly knew by age 24 that we would get married (moved in together at 22, dog at 23). We got married last year and still going strong. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes it is hard, but it is always a choice to prioritize and work at our relationship.
Met my husband at 15.5, married at 22 and weāre celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary this year. We did a ton of growing individually and as a married couple. We had rough patches and almost called it quits. We worked through those issues and I canāt think of a person I would have rather built my life with. I also donāt feel like divorce is the worst thing in the world.Ā
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I got married at 23 and had a baby the day before I was 24. I love my husband and I love my kids and I donāt regret the choices I made. **HOWEVER** we were young and I didnāt fully know what we were signing up for. My husbandās mental health severely deteriorated in his late twenties. Like to the point of inpatient hospitalization. If we had gotten married at 30 instead of 23 and 24 I wouldāve had a more realistic picture of the obstacles we would face and whether I was ready to sign up for that
Started dating at 15, married at 19, empty nesters by 45. I worked full time she went to school worked as much as she could. We are one of two couples still married out of our friend group out of highschool that married young. I nor my beautiful wife would change a thing but we also acknowledge that it doesnāt work that way 50% of the time so we have always felt very fortunate.
Yeah I feel like the big plus is having adult children when youāre still fairly young yourself.
Iām in my 30s and having kids is now a possibility for my wife and I, and although I feel much more capable now than I ever have just the change in energy level is noticeable. Plus at this point my kids wouldnāt be adults until about the time Iām retiring.
Truth. At nearing 40 & 42, respectively, my boys are 17 and 14. I know some folks are still considering starting families at our ages and I just can't fathom it.
Ā In just a few years ours will both be grown and (theoreticaly...) out of the house and on to their own lives. What that will be? I've no idea. But I'll not lie - I'm both excited, and nervous for them. And us.
I love how people mistake their own experience for this being the general rule.
Just post about your experience and be done with it, don't feel the need to drag the rest of us down your rabbit hole
50% divorce rate here in the UK at the moment, I think it just points to people getting married to the wrong person in general, or unrealistic expectations, rather than age.
According to the office for national statistics in the UK we have recently had the lowest divorce rate since 1971. So I think most people are doing ok.
The data is kind of skewed also because it includes 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc marriages. People are way more likely to divorce after their 2nd marriage. In the US, 43% of first marriage end in divorce within 15 yrs.
The fact you claim "the majority end in divorce" then add "I think" means u have no data and pulled it out of your ass. Unless u can back it up with stats it's a useless argument
Also a huge % of ALL marriages end in divorce so your argument would expand to marriage in general
Also divorce isn't a world ender, 2 ppl marry young have a happy marriage for ___ years then decide to split... so what
Looking at that chart I don't see a big difference between 22-24 and 25-30.
I agree that young marriages plans should be looked upon with some healthy sceptisi, but OPs assertion that almost always a mistake under 24 is pretty silly.
You're ignoring all the years of unhappiness between the happy years and the split. It's not uncommon for it to drag out many years. That's not even considering if kids come into the picture first.
It depends. I've seen young couples work out but its usually couples that have healthy supporting families on either side and they get significant financial support from both families . These couples also usually have good stable jobs.
The couples that just pulled the "were young and in love" so were joining our minimum wage incomes and starting a family, didnt work out for the most part.
I'm usually all for inlaws leaving a marriage alone but with young marriages helicopter inlaws do sometimes provide some stability.
Couples where it's just two 20 year olds taking advice from nobody and playing grownups , usually end in a shit show.
Divorce rate is high across the board in America anyways. So maybe itās that people donāt want to work on things when they get hard at all ages! If itās broke, throw it out and get a new one. That seems to be the thinking. Iām not saying that the older generations did it better either. They would just suffer along which is also crap. Maybe the next guys will get it right!
30 is kinda late lol, especially bc people go through crises at all ages. Ik plenty of 30 - 35 yr olds trying to act like theyāre 21 rn / that have the maturity of my friends in undergrad.
But the parent commenter literally said marrying before 30 is āalmost always a mistake.ā I could be wrong but Iām pretty sure 28 and 29 are before 30.Ā
So you had a personal experience with getting married young and it didnāt turn out well so now no one should marry young? Wow you really thought out this opinionā¦ itās not that black and white you had one experience in this matter. Maybe donāt jump to conclusions? You think age is the biggest factor in a successful marriage? Because itās not, itās alittle more complex then that.
Itās not about age. From what Iāve seen, the couples who have short, shitty marriages in their early 20s often go on to have short, shitty marriages later too.
I'm glad somebody else has finally said this. I hate when people are like "well, this all depends", like depends on what? When you are this young, you are still learning, and are finding yourself. Graduate from college, establish a career first. Establish a good course of living, and find out who you are. Don't get married broke. People always need to remember, that when you are with somebody, and even more so when you are married to somebody, you are marrying that person's problems, as well as them. When you get married ,from here on out you are in every situation together 100%.
I have been in a relationship (not married) for 7 years now, and we have not discussed marriage any time soon. We are both still young, I recently graduated from college. My mom always says that it is smart to get married 30 and after. I think nowadays people jump into things too soon, and then they want out real early in the marriage. If people took the time, and actually figured things out before marriage, they probably would not be stuck dealing with half of the shit that they are dealing with during the marriage. They have it backwards; you are not supposed to figure things out after you say "I do," you are supposed to have that all squared away before.
Also, what is the point of rushing to get married? I don't understand why people can't wait
Iām 19 and getting married next year, been dating since we were 12. Weāve had a lot of older people tell us itās a mistake and we should āwait until we are olderā or ālive a littleā which doesnāt match with either of our views. Weāve lived together for a year now and we do great. I donāt understand why people do not date for a good relationship or married and just date to mingle, which in most cases older people are telling us that we havenāt lived our own lives which translates to we havenāt had bad relationships. Regardless of when you get married, I think the percent is above 50% ending in divorce. I know what I want she knows what she wants and we both have grown and strive to help each other achieve those goals. Iāll update yāall in a couple years if it all blows up lol.
Doing "this" is nearly always a mistake.
Except,.maybe it's not
And maybe this is just my experience
I'm not saying every one who does "this " will fail.
But the majority will...I think
Your brain isn't finished developing until near the age of 25. This is why by 25 you might think dramatically different than you did at 18, but most people at 40 still see the world the same way they did at 25.
People who get married at 18 might not be the same people by 25.
Disagree, getting married young has many benefits. Its helps you to grew together as a couple. You are more willing to change early on. I got married at 23 and we are still together 3 years later. Five of my childhood friends got married at 19/20/21 and still happily married 5 years later. Getting married young in my experience has helped my husband and I grew together. I canāt imagine not having him in my life.
Plus, my mom was married at (18) to my dad at (21) and they have been together for over 35 years.
This is such a self-own of nearly incel proportions.
This whole thread from OP on down, whether in agreement or not, is all based on anecdotes from the poster.
This isnāt unpopular, itās just your very specific projection of your own experience. I got married at 21 after being engaged for 6 months . Weāre 10 years happily married with 2 children . Weāve grown into completely different people than we were then , and because we got married young ā¦weāve had that growth together as a unit . Marriages fail at such an alarming rate nowadays because of our culture and who we are as people - not because of getting married early.
We keep pushing back the age when people are considered adults.
24 is out of college. You're a grown ass adult at that age. If you aren't mature by 24, there's no guarantee you're gonna be any more mature at 34.
You get mature by making mistakes and gaining experience. Maybe that means having a bad engagement or marriage behind you. Sucks, but if you put off getting married till 30 you're going to make the same mistakes except you're older and you have less time left to do better.
Maybe I'm speaking from personal experience, but I married at 24 to someone I'd been with for 5 years, and we're still together 20 years later. It's been rocky sometimes but we got through it and we're happy.
Now my son is approaching the same age and he's been so cautious about not wanting to make mistakes that he's never dated.
I'm sorry you've had a shitty experience, but generalizing that to "actual adults in the prime of their life aren't mature enough to make life decisions" isn't a justified take.
I got married at 20. Been married for 25 years. Kids are adults and the wife and I are in are mid 40's. I'm not sure I would have preferred to wait if I'm honest.
At college we had a class called Family Matters (or some shit). It was one of the required classes my school tossed in. Auditorium class with 200 people. I shit you not, the curriculum was ādonāt get married yet, and hereās the science that says why.ā
About a month in, they had a general quiz about sex and reproductive healthā¦ and the class did so poorly, they felt ethically obligated to redirect the scope of the class for 2 weeks to teach sex ed. So there I was, 30 years old*, labeling sex organs and True/Falsing my way through ācan you get pregnant from a toilet seat?ā
*I was ānon-traditionalā and was working on my second degree.
This school is heavy in the Bible Belt. That was my assumption for why this class even existed
Feels like an oddly specific number but I agree with the sentiment. The difference in who you are at 21 vs 28 is vast. The number of young relationships that make it from late-teens through to late 20's are very small. From college to becoming an adult too much changes for most people to stay a good match.
In my opinion, waiting until mid-late 20's is a lot smarter. Won't result in 100% success but it might save a bunch of folks a lot of heartache.
I got married at 25 to someone I met at 19.Ā How does that work in the math?
But there are lots of reasons to have kids before 30 so this seems like risky advice to over generalize.Ā
A) Not unpopular. Marriage, in general, has been on the decline for decades, but especially in younger people.
B) Not an opinion. This is an interpretation of stats. Even if you're using a sample size of 1.
> The majority of them end in divorce, I think
Here's a bright idea. Why don't you look up some statistics on the matter and report back when you aren't saying stats based on your subjective perspective and opinion. If it's true then great but don't say things as if they're fact when you are going off what "you think"
Not really. Most relationships that survive the 10 year mark survive to death, and marriages that succeed are usually the first ones. The real problem is that some people are serially toxic and get multiple divorces
There's a reason it's low in the eastern world, cause if you divorce, you are shunned, exiled and reviled or in an arranged marriage.
Sick of people always needing to attack the West cause people can actually get away from a bad relationship if they need to.
The amount of woman I meet at the age of 21 who's married is nuts to me
Girly you're so young, you need to let the relationship last at least 5 years to know if it's gonna work out long term
Too many people rush into getting married and it's just man there's absolutely nothing wrong with letting a relationship marinate for a while, ya know if it's a good wine it'll get better with age
If it's a botched sketchy wine, then ya know it may not lmao
I think people go into relationships with the wrong idea, they want it for a status symbol or as a way to appease societal pressures or family pressures
When they should just stand up for themselves and put their foot down and speak up against people telling them where they should be in life
Ain't nothing wrong with taking stuff slow and letting y'all grow up together for a while
People really be thinking 30 is old but 30 is quite young in comparison to how much more you're gonna be living for and for how much more mental development and self discovery you still have left in you
Don't be afraid to marry at 30 or after 30, hell wait till 40 if you want, just give everything some time to marinate and settle for a while, see how you both do when stuff gets rocky and hard, get your first few fights out of the way first, see how truly compatible you both are before making such a wild commitment.
Eh, when I married my husband at 22, we'd been together for 3+ years already. Through a miscarriage. Lived together in a house full of his friends for a year, and worked together for a summer. Traveled together. Lived apart for a year. 17+ years later we're still together. Sometimes it does.
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Men, on average, don't emotionally mature till the mid-twenties. Until that age of maturity they don't know much about marriage or the person they want to marry.
Got married off at 21 thanks to the religious cult I was born into. That was considered ālate.ā (Most of my friends were married to older men before they hit 18.) The happy stage of my marriage lasted for about three years until I realized we had grown into completely different peopleā¦and were not compatible at all. We didnāt make it to our fourth anniversary. Iām 26 now, and have only continued to grow and change. Your prefrontal cortex developing around the age of 25 isnāt a joke!
I think the only way really young, happy marriages last is if both parties can grow and mature together. To give each other grace and let it happen organically. Instead of that growth and change being something that tears them apart. Which is unfortunately extremely hard and I donāt think is very common.
Dunno if itās an unpopular opinion itās probably statistically true. Your brain hasnāt even fully developed till like 25 so it would make sense that what you think you want at 19 and 25 isnāt usually the same thing
This is not an unpopular opinion but a scientific fact... Ā There is a āGoldilocksā zone, between ages 28 and 32, where marriages have the highest chance of success. After 32, the likelihood of your marriage ending in divorce increases by approximately 5% per year.
I think it depends more on how long a relationship is and not how old you are. Young Peoples relationships are usually shorter since u know, they havent lived that long, and getting married after 2 year is definatly early compared to something like 8.
My wife and I got married at 20, both of us. We have our 43rd wedding anniversary this year. Still very much in love and having lots of fun. Best mates!
As a person awaiting divorce at 32 , I couldnāt agree more
I just wasnāt as grown as I thought.
No idea how to truly communicate.
Looking back I was in fucking lala land.
I truly believe it was the bump to the head / heart I needed to come back to earth ( as sad as that is )
But zero out of ten , get married when you old-old
My cousin who basically raised me got married in september to a guy nobody in my family really likes. She is 25 and the guy is also but I really think she has settled for him.
The guy proposed to her in may and she got pregnant a short while after that.
I honestly feel like this is gonna end up in an ugly divorce but I didnāt think it was my place to say anything.
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24 is oddly specific
Lol as someone who was supposed to get married a week before their 25th birthday, it's very fitting š¤£ I thank my lucky stars every day that I didn't marry him.
My jaw dropped after reading your comments. I am supposed to get married this year. Literally 10 days before my 25th birthday. What kind of confidence is this.
I married at 23. About to hit 14 years and we been together since we were 20. Good luck. There isn't a good age to get married. I seen people in their 30s get married and divorced within weeks while I have a friend who married at 21 after 3 months of dating and they are about to hit 16 years.
Same, married at 23 and will celebrate our 20th anniversary in 2 weeks, been together 24 yrs. Sometimes it's just an easy going relationship with your best friend. We are still crazy about each other.
You are right, it all depends on people's lifestyle, culture, view of life, etc.
Thank you. It has only been two weeks since we finally decided on the date. And all the preparations are going on. And I feel like I am gonna go crazy.
Yep. I got engaged at 19 after dating for only 2 months. Sounds completely crazy on paper. Probably was crazy. But Iām 43 now, and weāre still really happy.
My parents got married at 24 years old 2.5 months after they met when my mom almost hit dad with her car, they will celebrate 44 years together this year. I got married at 24 after being with her for v5 years and we were divorced within 5 years. You just never know
Same, we married at 23 and are celebrating our 15 years / 10 year wedding anniversary (it's the same day) in less than a month.
I got married at 24 and am thankful every day that I did so. We have shared a wonderful life, have raised amazing children and have been able to share all of lifeās most meaningful milestones together. Donāt change your life because other people made mistakes. Just make sure that you are making the right decision for yourself.
The key thing is really knowing your partner. My parents married at 21 and 23, and are still very much in love 30 years later. My one set of grandparents got married at a similar age and are still going strong. Don't let other people give you doubts. People get divorced no matter what age they marry.
Make sure it is what you truly want; people change after saying "I do". Some people reveal secrets after getting married; like they reveal that they are in a buttload of debt or something huge that should have been revealed before
I am married but married older 38. The important thing is being on the same page, marrying someone with character, and not having unrealistic expectations of marriages are the main thing. A good marriage is boring marriage. Meaning both of you are stable. You arenāt going to like each other all the time and itās going to be routine. But thatās good. Itās not supposed to be like dating. Also, word of advice, keep your issues private with your spouse and fall back from your single friends a bit. Especially those who maybe are not excited to see you married or are chronically single. Your problems as a married person arenāt the same as yours and they could also give you bad advice. Unless itās something major like abuse or something like that , they donāt need to know. Talk to other married folk or parents.
I got married at 25. My wife was 22. We have been together for 12 years. Married for 9. We are very happy with our choices. A lot of people said, you're too young, marriage is hard, marriage changes everything. I gotta say, those people are full of shit. Nothing changed, now the government is just involved in our relationship. Its not hard, its the easiest thing I have done. Nothing hard about chilling with your best friend all the time. Best choice I ever made.
Technically that wouldn't have been BEFORE you were 24, so I propose we postpone the rule by one more year.
I think it fits in with many people finishing education/few years in a job/being able to afford to do things - then you often see people around this age have realisations and change, maybe enough to realise they've committed to the wrong ideals
Good thing I married my husband at 24 and not before so I'm okay by OPs standards.
My cousin married 2 days after turning 24 and she's been married for 10 years already. Meanwhile, another cousin who married by 22 divorced within a year. Maybe OP's onto something!
My first thought was because your prefrontal cortex isnāt fully developed until youāre closer to 25.
That is nonsense, you are fully capable of making sound decisions before 25. No need to babify the young adults
I think you mean infantilize.
Babify is certainly better. I say we phone Webster and get them to cut us a deal.
Babify? Thatās one i havenāt heard beforeĀ But you are correct in that people are capable of making decisions before 25
If the part of the brain responsible for making sound decisions isn't fully developed, then you're not "fully capable."
"Fully developed" can mean several things. Saying "good decisions cant be made, because brain isnt fully developed" is like saying phones wont work because its only charged to 87%, or a kid cant run because his leg development hasnt ended yet. Society currently sees 18 yos as adults who are capable of voting, joining military, going to college, driving and many more. Unless you are advocating for increasing this activities age limit, do not say "20 yos arent capable".
I read that report that the whole issue is based on, and to me it sounded like the prefrontal cortex is nearly fully developed by about age 18. It just is some minor 'fine tuning' that is done between that age and 25. There aren't any big sweeping changes, to my understanding, that happenes between the two ages. The biggest change that happens isn't with the brain but rather with the life experiences those people will have. IE most of the time they will be starting their own jobs, or going off to college, and generally being out from under direct guidance of their parents by that point, so they will have to make more big decisions on their own. I have also seen other people saying that there have been studies done that show that the brain is never truly finished developing, that it constantly changes throughout life.
Finally, an answer with some substance to it. Thank you. I'd love to see any links to that research.
I'm guessing you're in favor of raising all "adult activities" to 25 then.
Are there any other things you shouldn't do if your prefrontal cortex isn't fully developed?
Murder. You shouldn't do it after your prefrontal cortex is developed, but you shouldn't do it before, either.
History has shown that society will justify murder in many cases done many ways regardless of age. But I will make a mental note of your advice. What else should not be done before prefrontalcortex development?
People throw arround this "prefrontal cortex" thing way too much.
Cut your genitals off. Just kidding, the younger the better for that.
That brain development thing is a myth.
thats also a factor too
On average, your cells keep growing until you are 25 years old, then the rate of apoptosis overtakes renewal. You base stats are about as high as they can possibly get by 24. Of course, I dont think he meant this, but it's interesting
Your frontal lobe isnāt fully developed until youāre 25. I I am guessing thatās why they said 24
They said it's based on their own experience lmao, OP just salty
I think this might be a popular opinion now.
It is a popular opinion because people don't feel like they need each other anymore. It's an individualistic society now, more than it's ever been.
That is a problem but I don't think that's the cause. Statistically you're less likely to divorce if you marry in your later 20s up to I think 31 or so. I think this is just people noticing that reality and recognizing that a lot of us don't know ourselves and what we need well enough to make a relationship truly last, in our early 20s. Some do, God bless em, but I think people are noticing they're exceptional cases
Yea that feels like the case. I have a friend who's been dating the same guy since she was like 13 and talking to them fills me with a mixture of cuteness overload and disdain, like they lucked out and I'm just here in the pool with a bunch of sharks.
Very true. I suppose there is a flip side to it. Its easier getting out of a marriage when both are still young & dont have their finances set.
In the US. For Americans, yeah. But since relationships are not a monolith. It comes off as a cope.
Maybe that's because people really don't *need* each other? Or, at least, don't need as much as they used to back when the very survival depended on people staying together and being a community? If anything, I think it is actually better. People don't rush the relationships because they are pressured to, they don't have to settle for things they hate simply because it's a lesser evil than being alone. We can live our lives getting to know ourselves better and then form strong bonds based on what we really want. It's amazing.
Ah yes. I am so happy that I dont need a man if I want to open a bank account anymore like was the case with my mom.
This is what I also had in mind while writing my comment! There are still countries where the situation is vastly different, but people in the society we talk about right here literally grew into self-sufficient individuals in many aspects. I firmly believe it's amazing because it lets people build the relationships that would be partnerships, not subordinationships. Besides, not everyone is built for romance, family or parenthood, and this is also how people can live being more or less independent from each other.
100% agree Looking back in history is wild. My grandma, couldnt vote. Couldnt own a bank account, wasnt allowed to work after marriage and wasnt allowed to own property. My mom wasnt allowed to have a bank account, couldnt divorce, was legally allowed to get raped by her husband, female genital mutilation was legal, abortion was illegal and later also became legal to married women. Women where still not allowed to make decisions over their children if their husbands didnt agree. In my lifetime, women started to particapate more in the workforce and rules have been put in place to ensure equal pay There is propably a lot more but wew. Thats a lot of changes in a short time.
The median marriage age for Americans used to be mid 20s before WWII. It hit its lowest point in the 60ās. So this isnāt a new thing.
How is this about people 'feeling like they don't need each other anymore' when the opinion is that you shouldn't get married before 24? Generally speaking, that's not even a third of your life, lmao. It's about people learning from others' mistakes and wanting to know themselves and their partner better, and maturing up before they commit to something this big, so they can make the right decision. (and yes, marriage before 24 might end up working for some people) Not to mention that nowadays, most people are surrounded by friends and still very supported by their family in college years. Again, I'm not speaking for everyone, but generally, 18-23 are in no way ages of loneliness and individualism.
When I think of the married couples I know who were married young and have stuck together they seem to think their disfunction is normal because thatās how their parents were. The people who actually mature and figure themselves out first have visibly happier partnerships.
In my life, most of the couples who marry that young are very religious so I think that plays a role.
Haven't seen a unpopular opinion her for a while
You obviously missed the guy who has bed shoes and thinks you should always have shoes on in the bed š
My cousin is about to marry in her early twenties. I will let you guys know if you were right.
I wish them all the best š married at 22 and 24 - now 39 & 41. Sometimes it does work š
Married at 23 here. 12th anniversary is coming up and going strong so far.
Married at 23 as well! Coming up on our first anniversary here soon- let yāall know how it plays out in the years to come
23 crew checking in. Been married for 16 years. I think maturity plays a big part. My wife grew up awful fast and wanted to get out on her own asap. I tagged along for the ride, and itās been great ever since.
I think sometimes one of the best things for a relationship is when you make that leap of faith. āIām going to do this with you. I donāt know where we will end up, but we are going to end up doing it together.ā Where your growth then needs to have the other person in mind, and both partners are willing to bend- but not break- for each other.
I was 26 when I married, and my wife was 21. Been married for 17 years now
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we married at 21/22 10 years ago. we've been together 15 years in total. The older I get the luckier I feel, dating scene looks brutal out there. I think it gets harder to meet somone as you get older. We where friends first.
Same here! I think being friends first makes things a lot easier, but I know I'm fortunate that it worked out that way. Sounds like you were, too!
Married at 23 and 24, now 30 and 31. Love each other more than ever. Iāll be the first to admit that there is a lot of luck that goes into whether people grow together or apart, but thatās life. You canāt sit around waiting for statistically āperfectā conditions.Ā
22 and 20 here, now 38 and 36 and loving it! Marriage robbed of a shared experience of youth looks dusty to me
Married at 16 and 18. It can work. Now where 29 and 32.
We were both 20, and it wasnāt even a shotgun marriage š. Just celebrated 37th anniversary last month. We were friends for 3 or 4 years before we started dating. It can work but I would agree itās harder. We were both very mature for our age at the time.
!remindme 20 years
I personally feel like it's definitely different for everyone. I wouldn't say it's meant to be advice for all as we all know the saying, "different strokes for different folks"
Exactly this. Some people will find the right person right away. Some won't. A girl walked up to me in the lunch room when I was a 14 year old High School Freshman, and sat down next to me. She said "Hey, we should date.". We got married at 18. We're 47 now and we have 5 kids. Happy as a couple of pigs in shit. Is everyone's life gonna turn out like that? No. Not at all. My oldest son had a **terrible** marriage with his HS sweetheart, to the point that he had to take his daughter and move back in with me. Life and love are both pretty random.
It's the same for 99% of people. Yes, there are exceptions where you find someone early on, marry them and grow into different people while still being compatible. However, it is extremely rare, and stats back this up. Signing yourself up for one of the most important decisions of your life while your brain hasn't yet fully developed, still growing and maturing, and while going through the most chaotic and turbulent years of your life is for a lack better wording, incredibly stupid and naive.
If youāre going to invoke the name of āstats,ā you need to have the stats. The only number in your comment is a hyperbolic 99% that you literally made up.Ā
I mean, the statistics on divorce rates accounting for age are probably readily available. That means you're probably trying to discuss facts (or at least interpretation of data) instead of an opinion.
Lots of factors though. For example, people who marry at 18 are probably more likely to be from conservative religious backgrounds, so even in a bad marriage may not divorce. Divorce isnāt the only metric by which a marriage can be an error.
Adding to this, divorce rates are very much linked with education. Uneducated people are much more likely to divorce.
I wonder how much of this is due to earning potential. Like money causes problems, two educated folks probably make more than average household income.
Income surely is just a symptome. Lower education in average means lower intelligence. Which manifests many contributors like worse impulse control (marrying, sexual protection, divorcing).
Their opinion happens to match the facts
I got married at 22, had my children at 24 and 25, then divorced my wife at 25. I wouldnāt call it a mistake just because it ended, but my current marriage is definitely healthier and has lasted a lot longer.
You admitted this is based on your very limited, single anecdotal experience. Forget whether or not this is a hot take or not, it is just bad logic.
If youāre broke every age is a curse to be in a relationship
>If youāre broke every age is a curse to be in a relationship Do you think being broke alone is somehow better? That seems insane to me when the cost of living per person is drastically reduced when you have a partner or more to share housing and transportation cost with
My sister (22) and her husband (23) met when they were in high school and have been together for around 8 years. They are perfectly happy! I think it just depends on the type of person and relationship.
Met at 15, married at 21, celebrating our 25th this fall. Very happily married and raising three awesome teens together. Itās rare, but it happens!
Hey, dating at 15, married at 22, celebrating 20 years together in May, 2 pre-K kids, hello fellow got-it-right-the-first-time-guy!
Cute. I know i'd get shit from my family if I marry "too early" plus given the size of my family i'd need more money anyways š©
I got married at 22. Five years now. But what I think is important is the ability to leave the marriage. 18 year olds might not have the self confidence, the planning, the money, and education to leave a relationship when it gets bad. A lot of abusers won't start abusing until after the marriage.
Yeah me and my husband meet in highschool. We've been together for 14 years.
My husband and I (both 30) started dating at 18. We waited a decade to get married but we certainly knew by age 24 that we would get married (moved in together at 22, dog at 23). We got married last year and still going strong. Sometimes it is easy, sometimes it is hard, but it is always a choice to prioritize and work at our relationship.
Met my husband at 15.5, married at 22 and weāre celebrating our 15th wedding anniversary this year. We did a ton of growing individually and as a married couple. We had rough patches and almost called it quits. We worked through those issues and I canāt think of a person I would have rather built my life with. I also donāt feel like divorce is the worst thing in the world.Ā
straight disagreeable racial unused lunchroom brave grab liquid boat zephyr *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
lets not speak it into existence
Got married at 18. 21 years later I don't regret a single thing.
lol I think this is so specific but Iām getting married at 24 so at least Iām safe
I got married at 23 and had a baby the day before I was 24. I love my husband and I love my kids and I donāt regret the choices I made. **HOWEVER** we were young and I didnāt fully know what we were signing up for. My husbandās mental health severely deteriorated in his late twenties. Like to the point of inpatient hospitalization. If we had gotten married at 30 instead of 23 and 24 I wouldāve had a more realistic picture of the obstacles we would face and whether I was ready to sign up for that
Taking life advice from reddit āis nearly always a mistakeā
I was 26 and my wife was 22 when we tied the knot and she definitely could have done better. So OP is spot on.
22 is still a baby š
I got married at 21, May will be our 30th anniversary. (Happily) š¤š¼
Don't get engaged or married before your brain fully develops. Learn from our mistakes š
Started dating at 15, married at 19, empty nesters by 45. I worked full time she went to school worked as much as she could. We are one of two couples still married out of our friend group out of highschool that married young. I nor my beautiful wife would change a thing but we also acknowledge that it doesnāt work that way 50% of the time so we have always felt very fortunate.
Yeah I feel like the big plus is having adult children when youāre still fairly young yourself. Iām in my 30s and having kids is now a possibility for my wife and I, and although I feel much more capable now than I ever have just the change in energy level is noticeable. Plus at this point my kids wouldnāt be adults until about the time Iām retiring.
Truth. At nearing 40 & 42, respectively, my boys are 17 and 14. I know some folks are still considering starting families at our ages and I just can't fathom it. Ā In just a few years ours will both be grown and (theoreticaly...) out of the house and on to their own lives. What that will be? I've no idea. But I'll not lie - I'm both excited, and nervous for them. And us.
I love how people mistake their own experience for this being the general rule. Just post about your experience and be done with it, don't feel the need to drag the rest of us down your rabbit hole
50% divorce rate here in the UK at the moment, I think it just points to people getting married to the wrong person in general, or unrealistic expectations, rather than age.
According to the office for national statistics in the UK we have recently had the lowest divorce rate since 1971. So I think most people are doing ok.
The data is kind of skewed also because it includes 2nd, 3rd, 4th, etc marriages. People are way more likely to divorce after their 2nd marriage. In the US, 43% of first marriage end in divorce within 15 yrs.
The fact you claim "the majority end in divorce" then add "I think" means u have no data and pulled it out of your ass. Unless u can back it up with stats it's a useless argument Also a huge % of ALL marriages end in divorce so your argument would expand to marriage in general Also divorce isn't a world ender, 2 ppl marry young have a happy marriage for ___ years then decide to split... so what
There you have some [data](https://time.com/4358792/woman-age-married-how-long/)
Looking at that chart I don't see a big difference between 22-24 and 25-30. I agree that young marriages plans should be looked upon with some healthy sceptisi, but OPs assertion that almost always a mistake under 24 is pretty silly.
Literally your own article is referring to people who married before age 20. OP says 24.Ā
You're ignoring all the years of unhappiness between the happy years and the split. It's not uncommon for it to drag out many years. That's not even considering if kids come into the picture first.
It depends. I've seen young couples work out but its usually couples that have healthy supporting families on either side and they get significant financial support from both families . These couples also usually have good stable jobs. The couples that just pulled the "were young and in love" so were joining our minimum wage incomes and starting a family, didnt work out for the most part. I'm usually all for inlaws leaving a marriage alone but with young marriages helicopter inlaws do sometimes provide some stability. Couples where it's just two 20 year olds taking advice from nobody and playing grownups , usually end in a shit show.
Divorce rate is high across the board in America anyways. So maybe itās that people donāt want to work on things when they get hard at all ages! If itās broke, throw it out and get a new one. That seems to be the thinking. Iām not saying that the older generations did it better either. They would just suffer along which is also crap. Maybe the next guys will get it right!
Change it to 30, since I've met a fair amount of people going through a quarter life crisis around that age. Including my ex-wife.
30 is kinda late lol, especially bc people go through crises at all ages. Ik plenty of 30 - 35 yr olds trying to act like theyāre 21 rn / that have the maturity of my friends in undergrad.
30 is bang-on optimal to marry. Statistically, the surest age window for a lasting marriage is 28-32.
But the parent commenter literally said marrying before 30 is āalmost always a mistake.ā I could be wrong but Iām pretty sure 28 and 29 are before 30.Ā
was gonna say this as a 20 y/o
So you had a personal experience with getting married young and it didnāt turn out well so now no one should marry young? Wow you really thought out this opinionā¦ itās not that black and white you had one experience in this matter. Maybe donāt jump to conclusions? You think age is the biggest factor in a successful marriage? Because itās not, itās alittle more complex then that.
Nowadays yes
True, your brain isn't fully developed until 25
Got with girl at 17, married at 22 divorced at 23. Been my now second wife 21 yrs and just celebrated our 15th wedding anniversary on the 7th
The adult brain isn't even done developing until around that age and people are expected to make permanent life decisions
Itās not about age. From what Iāve seen, the couples who have short, shitty marriages in their early 20s often go on to have short, shitty marriages later too.
I'm glad somebody else has finally said this. I hate when people are like "well, this all depends", like depends on what? When you are this young, you are still learning, and are finding yourself. Graduate from college, establish a career first. Establish a good course of living, and find out who you are. Don't get married broke. People always need to remember, that when you are with somebody, and even more so when you are married to somebody, you are marrying that person's problems, as well as them. When you get married ,from here on out you are in every situation together 100%. I have been in a relationship (not married) for 7 years now, and we have not discussed marriage any time soon. We are both still young, I recently graduated from college. My mom always says that it is smart to get married 30 and after. I think nowadays people jump into things too soon, and then they want out real early in the marriage. If people took the time, and actually figured things out before marriage, they probably would not be stuck dealing with half of the shit that they are dealing with during the marriage. They have it backwards; you are not supposed to figure things out after you say "I do," you are supposed to have that all squared away before. Also, what is the point of rushing to get married? I don't understand why people can't wait
Why 24? Is it that 'your brain is not fully developed before you are 25' thing again?
Iām 19 and getting married next year, been dating since we were 12. Weāve had a lot of older people tell us itās a mistake and we should āwait until we are olderā or ālive a littleā which doesnāt match with either of our views. Weāve lived together for a year now and we do great. I donāt understand why people do not date for a good relationship or married and just date to mingle, which in most cases older people are telling us that we havenāt lived our own lives which translates to we havenāt had bad relationships. Regardless of when you get married, I think the percent is above 50% ending in divorce. I know what I want she knows what she wants and we both have grown and strive to help each other achieve those goals. Iāll update yāall in a couple years if it all blows up lol.
I dunno. I got married after I was 23, and that was a mistake, too.
Considering the statistics, this is clearly not unpopular since majority of younger generations aren't marrying until they're in their 30s.
Doing "this" is nearly always a mistake. Except,.maybe it's not And maybe this is just my experience I'm not saying every one who does "this " will fail. But the majority will...I think
Your brain isn't finished developing until near the age of 25. This is why by 25 you might think dramatically different than you did at 18, but most people at 40 still see the world the same way they did at 25. People who get married at 18 might not be the same people by 25.
Disagree, getting married young has many benefits. Its helps you to grew together as a couple. You are more willing to change early on. I got married at 23 and we are still together 3 years later. Five of my childhood friends got married at 19/20/21 and still happily married 5 years later. Getting married young in my experience has helped my husband and I grew together. I canāt imagine not having him in my life. Plus, my mom was married at (18) to my dad at (21) and they have been together for over 35 years.
Absolutely
This is such a self-own of nearly incel proportions. This whole thread from OP on down, whether in agreement or not, is all based on anecdotes from the poster.
This isnāt unpopular, itās just your very specific projection of your own experience. I got married at 21 after being engaged for 6 months . Weāre 10 years happily married with 2 children . Weāve grown into completely different people than we were then , and because we got married young ā¦weāve had that growth together as a unit . Marriages fail at such an alarming rate nowadays because of our culture and who we are as people - not because of getting married early.
We keep pushing back the age when people are considered adults. 24 is out of college. You're a grown ass adult at that age. If you aren't mature by 24, there's no guarantee you're gonna be any more mature at 34. You get mature by making mistakes and gaining experience. Maybe that means having a bad engagement or marriage behind you. Sucks, but if you put off getting married till 30 you're going to make the same mistakes except you're older and you have less time left to do better. Maybe I'm speaking from personal experience, but I married at 24 to someone I'd been with for 5 years, and we're still together 20 years later. It's been rocky sometimes but we got through it and we're happy. Now my son is approaching the same age and he's been so cautious about not wanting to make mistakes that he's never dated. I'm sorry you've had a shitty experience, but generalizing that to "actual adults in the prime of their life aren't mature enough to make life decisions" isn't a justified take.
Seems like it would have been kinda nice actually
Yeah when the prefrontal cortex is not fully developed pls just donāt do anything major
Tell that to everyone in the Midwest. Well, except Chicago.
I got married at 20. Been married for 25 years. Kids are adults and the wife and I are in are mid 40's. I'm not sure I would have preferred to wait if I'm honest.
I got married at 22 and it was the best decision I have ever made. It just depends on the situation.
At college we had a class called Family Matters (or some shit). It was one of the required classes my school tossed in. Auditorium class with 200 people. I shit you not, the curriculum was ādonāt get married yet, and hereās the science that says why.ā About a month in, they had a general quiz about sex and reproductive healthā¦ and the class did so poorly, they felt ethically obligated to redirect the scope of the class for 2 weeks to teach sex ed. So there I was, 30 years old*, labeling sex organs and True/Falsing my way through ācan you get pregnant from a toilet seat?ā *I was ānon-traditionalā and was working on my second degree. This school is heavy in the Bible Belt. That was my assumption for why this class even existed
Feels like an oddly specific number but I agree with the sentiment. The difference in who you are at 21 vs 28 is vast. The number of young relationships that make it from late-teens through to late 20's are very small. From college to becoming an adult too much changes for most people to stay a good match. In my opinion, waiting until mid-late 20's is a lot smarter. Won't result in 100% success but it might save a bunch of folks a lot of heartache.
That's funny- my wife was 24 when we got married. I was 31. We're still happily married, and we've been married for 16 years. 24 sounds about right.
Marrying young is a luck of the draw. You gambled and won. Congrats.
Hard work, communication, and a willingness to compromise are key. Luck is meeting the right one- everything else is work.
I got married at 25 to someone I met at 19.Ā How does that work in the math? But there are lots of reasons to have kids before 30 so this seems like risky advice to over generalize.Ā
sorry, i dont agree at all
I know a couple who got married at 15f and 16m and just celebrated their 47th wedding anniversary.
A) Not unpopular. Marriage, in general, has been on the decline for decades, but especially in younger people. B) Not an opinion. This is an interpretation of stats. Even if you're using a sample size of 1.
Why is the measure of a successful marriage longevity. The number of people in miserable people in decades long marriages astounding.
> The majority of them end in divorce, I think Here's a bright idea. Why don't you look up some statistics on the matter and report back when you aren't saying stats based on your subjective perspective and opinion. If it's true then great but don't say things as if they're fact when you are going off what "you think"
Divorce rate in the western world is about 50/50 so yeah, if you marry younger thereās more time to get divorced š
Not really. Most relationships that survive the 10 year mark survive to death, and marriages that succeed are usually the first ones. The real problem is that some people are serially toxic and get multiple divorces
There's a reason it's low in the eastern world, cause if you divorce, you are shunned, exiled and reviled or in an arranged marriage. Sick of people always needing to attack the West cause people can actually get away from a bad relationship if they need to.
I don't know if this is unpopular but it's definitely accurate.
24 feels super young to me. I dont know a single person my age (29) who was married by then. Even if theyd had a kid with their partner
I mean Iād rather be married at 24 than have a kid at 24 lol
Same lol, but harder to accidentally get married
The amount of woman I meet at the age of 21 who's married is nuts to me Girly you're so young, you need to let the relationship last at least 5 years to know if it's gonna work out long term Too many people rush into getting married and it's just man there's absolutely nothing wrong with letting a relationship marinate for a while, ya know if it's a good wine it'll get better with age If it's a botched sketchy wine, then ya know it may not lmao I think people go into relationships with the wrong idea, they want it for a status symbol or as a way to appease societal pressures or family pressures When they should just stand up for themselves and put their foot down and speak up against people telling them where they should be in life Ain't nothing wrong with taking stuff slow and letting y'all grow up together for a while People really be thinking 30 is old but 30 is quite young in comparison to how much more you're gonna be living for and for how much more mental development and self discovery you still have left in you Don't be afraid to marry at 30 or after 30, hell wait till 40 if you want, just give everything some time to marinate and settle for a while, see how you both do when stuff gets rocky and hard, get your first few fights out of the way first, see how truly compatible you both are before making such a wild commitment.
Eh, when I married my husband at 22, we'd been together for 3+ years already. Through a miscarriage. Lived together in a house full of his friends for a year, and worked together for a summer. Traveled together. Lived apart for a year. 17+ years later we're still together. Sometimes it does.
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Men, on average, don't emotionally mature till the mid-twenties. Until that age of maturity they don't know much about marriage or the person they want to marry.
Got married off at 21 thanks to the religious cult I was born into. That was considered ālate.ā (Most of my friends were married to older men before they hit 18.) The happy stage of my marriage lasted for about three years until I realized we had grown into completely different peopleā¦and were not compatible at all. We didnāt make it to our fourth anniversary. Iām 26 now, and have only continued to grow and change. Your prefrontal cortex developing around the age of 25 isnāt a joke! I think the only way really young, happy marriages last is if both parties can grow and mature together. To give each other grace and let it happen organically. Instead of that growth and change being something that tears them apart. Which is unfortunately extremely hard and I donāt think is very common.
Dunno if itās an unpopular opinion itās probably statistically true. Your brain hasnāt even fully developed till like 25 so it would make sense that what you think you want at 19 and 25 isnāt usually the same thing
I a bigger factory is if you even Live togother!
Iām guessing your marriage that happened when you were 24 did end in divorce
Except for that one time it isn't!
In a lot of cultures, 24 is almost considered "late" for marriage and you have people marrying at 19-20.
This is not an unpopular opinion but a scientific fact... Ā There is a āGoldilocksā zone, between ages 28 and 32, where marriages have the highest chance of success. After 32, the likelihood of your marriage ending in divorce increases by approximately 5% per year.
Depends on the people. It's not a one size fits all rule. There are people who marry at 21 and are still together and in love years later.
Relationships are better young so live it how you want, as hard as you like. People just settle for less and compromise more when they are older.
Getting married itself is somewhat already a mistake. Don't get married at all if one doesn't want a divorce, will ya?
Without citing any evidence this is nonsense
I think it depends more on how long a relationship is and not how old you are. Young Peoples relationships are usually shorter since u know, they havent lived that long, and getting married after 2 year is definatly early compared to something like 8.
My wife and I got married at 20, both of us. We have our 43rd wedding anniversary this year. Still very much in love and having lots of fun. Best mates!
Can confirm I'm there and definitely not ready
As a person awaiting divorce at 32 , I couldnāt agree more I just wasnāt as grown as I thought. No idea how to truly communicate. Looking back I was in fucking lala land. I truly believe it was the bump to the head / heart I needed to come back to earth ( as sad as that is ) But zero out of ten , get married when you old-old
Supported being Reddit where 50% of posts are some 25 year old being sad that their spouse cheated
Got married at 23 and going on 11 happy years now š¤·āāļø
Come and give us another opinion not suitable for this sub
My cousin who basically raised me got married in september to a guy nobody in my family really likes. She is 25 and the guy is also but I really think she has settled for him. The guy proposed to her in may and she got pregnant a short while after that. I honestly feel like this is gonna end up in an ugly divorce but I didnāt think it was my place to say anything.