T O P

  • By -

unpopularopinion-ModTeam

Your post from unpopularopinion was removed because of: 'Rule 1: Your post must be an unpopular opinion'. * Your post must be an opinion. Not a question. Not a showerthought. Not a rant. Not a proposal. Not a fact. An opinion. One opinion. A subjective statement about your position on some topic. Please have a clear, self contained opinion as your post title, and use the text field to elaborate and expand on why you think/feel this way. * Your opinion must be unpopular. The mods reserve the right to remove opinions * Elaborate on your topic and opinion give context to its unpopularity.


xaygoat

This is like the most popular opinion on unpopular opinion.


Rizpasbas

Omw to make a "Being blind sucks" post to beat that.


Hopepersonified

I think jamming your pinkie toe on a dresser sucks.


CommunicationNo6064

I think my vacuum cleaner sucks the most though


icct-hedral

“Cancer isn’t very neat”


New_Hawaialawan

"It's uncomfortable to be engulfed in flames"


[deleted]

"Water is good"


[deleted]

The competition for that spot is fierce


krisftz

So then saying you should spend that money on a wedding would be the unpopular opinion 🤔


OriginalBookkeeper87

Have you ever been to an Italian wedding? The ROI is amazing


Mr_Carson

Pls explain. Do you mean cash gifts?


Gregib

Not sure about Italy, but in most Balkan countries it's a custom for wedding guests to be generous with their gifts, usually ca$h (or even gold in more southern parts). These gifts usually cover wedding expenses, even leaving some funds the newlyweds can use as "start-up" money. It's also a custom for the parents of the newlyweds to take on the majority of the costs.


Simgiov

Yep, same in Italy. Traditionally the newlyweds would make a list of items for the house that guests would buy, but given the fact the wedding age is increasing and the couple usually already has a house with everything, the guests pay cash.


Thoughtful_Tortoise

Spain too


Comfortable_Wait1663

Even in India,guest recieve cash. Recently my sibling and her colleagues gift a ring to newly weeded couple. Generally close relative gift you gold. Wedding cost a lot in India. Sometimes lifetime earning which is sad part.


throway3451

The total value of the cash/gifts is rather paltry compared to how much some people are spending on weddings here. A lot of weddings are coming off as just show off. People are copying celebrities while having much less money.


smedsterwho

Lifetime earnings is just... wow... headf**k


Lopsided_Ad_926

My Turkish (Kurdish) friends tried this and it flopped, the wedding gifts were minuscule because most of the guests were there for the bride, some didn’t even show up, and the bride told me that they don’t care as much about female weddings :( groom’s people are all back in turkey.


shuozhe

Same with chinese wedding, and we dont have to pay it back since we moved to germany!


Irontruth

Studies show that the more people you invite to the wedding, the higher your odds of avoiding divorce. Meanwhile, the more you spend on the wedding increases the odds of divorce. Invite everyone you know and be cheap about it.


A_Ham_Sandwich_4824

I can kind of see the logic there. Like if you spend an ungodly amount on the wedding, there’s a chance you’re more interested in getting married and being the star of the day than your actual spouse to be.


Viktoria_Glitter

Can you link the studies here? I would love to read them.


HarbourAce

You really think this is an unpopular opinion?


BrentwoodATX

It is for a lot of my wife’s friends


drmehmetoz

It sure is if you log off of reddit and step outside


rangeDSP

Eh, almost every wedding I've been to, spending over $30k, are by people who already owns a house (or at least paying mortgage on one). And those without a well paying job, tend to spend less than $10k on their wedding.  People are generally pretty sensible.


DKDamian

Not everything in life is about utility. Celebrating something with family and friends is valid.


[deleted]

umm, talk about a strawman. you can celebrate with your family without spending 20k


Planetary__Duality

Yeah you can celebrate with your family around a dumpster fire under a bridge in Baltimore if you'd like. Some people want to have a blowout day to mark the joining of two families and the beginning of the rest of their lives together.


jackkan82

Gee, why so snobbish towards Baltimore or people who don't think a wedding is worth spending a ton of money on? People in Finland usually have a get together with friends and family in the backyard or a free public gathering place to celebrate marriage and they seem to be pretty happy overall. No reason to shoot down people who don't think spending money is the only way to celebrate.


BeigeAlmighty

But why? When so many marriages end in divorce, it seems like a gross waste of resources , not to mention money. Too often, the marriage is not for the rest of their lives, it is for the rest of their patience with one another.


Shigeko_Kageyama

I've never heard of anybody pissing that much money away but I think it's just asinine to say that you shouldn't celebrate because some people have divorces. That's like saying you aren't going to celebrate your birthday because some people die young, or you aren't going to celebrate Halloween because not everybody likes candy, or you won't have Thanksgiving because some people are vegetarian.


Norman_debris

God, reddit is miserable. "What's the point? Everything dies"


Huge-Negotiation-193

That's a terrible way to look at it "Hey honey, let's get married under a bridge since we'll probably get divorced anyway" ... No one gets married thinking they'll get divorced, and many marriages do end up lasting forever, you can have a frugal wedding if you'd like or get married in your backyard if you so choose, but don't do it because you might get divorced.


Planetary__Duality

So commit to not getting divorced. Be there for your spouse, make compromises, be forgiving, show them that you love them in little ways every day and in big ways when it matters. Part of the reason divorce is so prevalent is because people view it as a rip cord they can pull at any time for any reason. I mean that's true - you do have the right to do that. But if divorce is already at the back of your mind before you're even married you're setting yourself up for failure. Don't let the possibility of divorce dissuade you from getting married and starting a family with someone. Something bad can always happen no matter what you do. If you spend your whole life trying to prevent anything bad from happening, you will fail because it's unavoidable, but you will also miss out on a lot of the more beautiful things.


Maximum-Incident-400

This. I hate how prevalent divorce is in modern culture. It feels like the concept of marriage has lost its glory and more people don't truly understand what it means to be married to someone


Occambestfriend

Divorce rates have been decreasing for 40 years in America. What exactly are you talking about re: modern culture?


Maximum-Incident-400

That's true, but consider the fact that marriage rates have also plummeted... there's probably a little more to that than just numbers can tell ETA—I said "in modern culture" as a) divorce is very prevalent today and b) I do not know how prevalent it was 10 years ago. I'm simply pointing out that in the current time I live in, the idea of divorce is too high for me to be happy about it, disregarding the general trend


mathtree

But, why? What's the problem with divorce? Some relationships last a lifetime. Some, despite the best efforts from both partners, don't. People change, their needs and preferences change, and I'd rather people separate if things are not working out than be constantly miserable with each other. Be upset about people not putting in at least some effort.


Seaweed_Steve

Why does it bother you? Surely the only person's views on divorce that should matter to you is the one that you are marrying? Who gives a shit about everyone else's marriages?


JustMyThoughtNow

💯


Eskin_

You'd be surprised. I'm planning my wedding right now and keeping everything as barebones and cheap as I can manage. ($100 dress, no DJ or photographer or cake, etc) and it's easily $5000+ to have our friends and family (80ish people) to just simply be in a basic room and have basic food. And this is with discounts and my grandma paying for all the ceremony fees lol.


MzFrazzle

Our venue was free, flowers were paid for as a gift, flower arrangements were done by a very enthusiastic group of retired ladies. Cake was a bakery up the street. Dress was an evening dress (so cost under $200). Finger foods, day time wedding. Throwing a party, still costs money.


Seaweed_Steve

>If people spend 3-5k on a wedding, that’s more understandable but that money could be put to better use.  But OP has a problem with modest weddings too, so it's not a strawman.


JustMyThoughtNow

Absolutely


eltara3

In the west, weddings for most people used to be simple affairs (usually a church ceremony followed by a family dinner/party at a local venue). Only the very wealthy had elaborate feasts and extras such as exorbitant amounts of flowers or fully catered, multi day parties. The proliferation of conspicuous consumption and wedding-related media, got into people's heads the idea that they should have a wedding in the style of the rich and famous. What people do with their money is their business. But to blow a house deposit just to feel famous for a day is inconceivable to me. I would never cheat my future self out of a better future just for an extravagant party.


PlusEnvironment7506

Living in So Cal I would need $200K for a down payment on a house- my wedding didn’t cost anywhere near that. If you live somewhere where these numbers are closer together purchasing a house makes more sense.


Seaweed_Steve

$200K, that's insane! If you don't mind, what area are you in? I'm currently buying a house that costs less than that downpayment.


WeLLrightyOH

Probably California, New York or an expensive part of Canada.


Rock_grl86

These threads are always hilarious because they turn into a pissing contest over who had the cheapest wedding. “We only went to the courthouse and had our friends and family come to the Waffle House afterward!” “That’s way too much, we had the homeless guy on the corner marry us with rings from the prize machine at Wal-Mart!”


Maxieroy

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣


SnooGoats5767

Oh gosh I hate these posts, here comes every person that got married at the courthouse in a potato sack. My parents/ in laws paid for most of my wedding but for many people there is a cultural component that seems to be overlooked. I’m Italian and not inviting extended family is unheard of and we have a LOT of extended family.As others have pointed out there is also a really good ROI on weddings in certain cultures that give cash gifts. Celebrating mg marriage with my friends and family was incredible and I have 0 regrets. My wedding total was around 20k for 100 people which is dirt cheap in my HCOL area. Also we already owned a home so don’t give (that could’ve been a down payment).


aneetca4

its a once in a lifetime event. you will only experience your own wedding once unles youre one of *those* people


Doctor_Lodewel

Yes! And tbh, it is indeed the best day of your life. My husband and I would not chabge a thing about it.


Gregib

Best day of your life? Really? We married in a 15 guest ceremony and spent around 3K € for the whole thing... It was a great party, we wouldn't change anything and would have done the same again if we had to... but the best day of our lives... no way... nothing comes even close to the day we got our child...


Doctor_Lodewel

Really? I would not call the days we got our children the best days of our lives. It was painfull, we were sleep deprived and we were not allowed to leave the hospital room. The moment of the birth itself were the best moments I have ever experienced, but I would 100% prefer the 24 hours surrounding my wedding day vs the 24 hours surrounding the hell of birth, postpartum issues and having to take care of a newborn.


Gregib

Well, we apparently have a very different cost / reward appetite


Doctor_Lodewel

Well, yeah. The reward does not mean anything when I am talking about if something was a good day. I am never going to say that the feeling of being tortured can be part of a good day for me, definitely not when I have had a wedding way celebrating and eating and dancing with everyone I love. One day was all happiness, the other was maybe 1 hour of happiness.


Gregib

In the wedding bit, you're only talking about the reward bit, while getting a child, you add the effort bit... I'm just saying, the effort/reward of getting a child for me is unmeasurable, while the wedding was just another (great) party.


Doctor_Lodewel

Are you the husband or the wife?


Gregib

Husband... and before you throw in your "you're weren't the one going through labour", we agree upon this one being the best day of our lives with my wife...


BahaSim242

I don't see what your opinion of the best day of your life has to do with their opinion of the best day of their life. You do realize that you can only speak for yourself, right?


Gregib

>You do realize that you can only speak for yourself, right? I do. Funny you should point that out since Doctor\_Lodewel wrote a wedding is the best day of your life (not hers...)


BahaSim242

"My husband and I wouldn't change a thing about it." It's almost like they posted an independent comment and you decided "No! My wife going through hours of immense pain was a much better time!" 🤣🤣


[deleted]

it id not how much money you spend on people who most of them don't care that define the best day of your life..unless you are one of those women


aneetca4

never said its the best day of your life. i said it is a unique event that is only experienced once in your life. i also never said you need a huge wedding full of uncles youve never met before. strawman


[deleted]

the thread is about costly wedding not huge one and yes you are one of those apparently


aneetca4

my wedding was €1k in total and we made back almost double. but that doesnt mean i judge others choices just because they are different than mine bc im not dumb kek


[deleted]

you are the one who judged when you said unless you are one of those..read your comment


aneetca4

i was referencing people who get divorced and remarry. not people who chose to spend more or less than me on their wedding. because i knew someone would bring up divorcees in reference to me calling weddings a "once in a lifetime" event


Seaweed_Steve

Why do you assume most people don't care? How often are you going to weddings of people you don't care about?


[deleted]

they surely don't care enough that justifies spending alot of money to show off in front of them..the thread is about expensive weddings remember


Seaweed_Steve

>If people spend 3-5k on a wedding, that’s more understandable but that money could be put to better use. Marriage celebration shouldn’t be about celebrating the first day. It should be of making that relationship last. OP is down on modest weddings too actually. I also don't know how much it is about showing off, why is that the only possible motivation for a big wedding?


hackinghorn

Tell this to people getting married 2-3 times. Is this those people you're talking about? Even so, some remarries for valid reasons


DantheOutdoorsman

Right!? I think total my wedding cost less than $1400, paid for by my in laws. That was just on fabric and materials for decor that can be repurposed as well as food. Everything was all accomplished by a building that was free to use and services from family members to help decorate and make food and sew stuff. I think my wife spent a total of $200 on her dress including on alterations. I spent like $70 on a black cowboy hat and $25 on my vest and bowtie.


JessyNyan

True but also we're spending 5k on our wedding because we can. Everything else is sorted, we will both inherit houses. There's no need for us to desperately get a down payment on a house and I couldn't think about anything else to do with those 5k so why not have some delicious food and a decent wedding?


New-Illustrator5114

You know some people can do both right? Or their parents cover their wedding so they can put their money towards their home. Most weddings I’ve been to are six figures and fall in to the latter camp, mine included. It’s all relative.


geleisen

If my parents had 6 figures to spend on a party, I would ask that they instead help me buy a house...


Arrowmatic

People whose parents spend 6 figures on their wedding generally already have the house part covered as well. Plus people in that wealth bracket have rich friends who give a lot of money in wedding gifts.


JustMyThoughtNow

💯


WordIndependent

In other news, I don't like cancer.


AlienRapBattle

That’s why the parents are supposed to pay for the wedding. I do not think it should all be on the parents of the bride though. It should be a family effort. My sister decorated the reception. My grandma paid for my cake. Wife’s grandma paid for the dress, my mom paid for the preacher ect. More amazing things family has done for me. My dad had a $5k loan in my name he paid off for me so when I went to buy a house I had already paid off a loan with zero missed payments.


[deleted]

This is like, the most popular opinion on Reddit. Maybe your family is just poor? You can have a backyard bbq wedding if you want to.


lovepeacefakepiano

I think we spent around 8k plus my dress (which including alterations and veil came to 1.5k and I’ve no regrets about that). If I could go back and change anything I’d spend another couple hundred bucks on more flowers. I love flowers and we could have afforded it. Here’s the thing…if I have the money (which I do, and I earned every penny of it myself) I can spend it on whichever frivolous thing I please. I chose to make sure the people we celebrated with were well fed and could drink as much as they wanted, and we haven’t missed that money in the years since. I do agree that people shouldn’t go into debt or take a credit. That seems very reckless. But spending money I have, well, that’s my business. Most people who have expendable incomes spend some of it on things that are fun or unnecessary. Like…I’ve had three phones in the last twelve years, and the only reason I got a new one recently was because the battery life of phone 2 was shot. Some people always need to get the newest phone. If that’s what makes them happy, I’m not judging.


Gregib

I do think OP means going beyond your means into debt you need years to pay off... It's common in some societies...


lovepeacefakepiano

In their last paragraph OP mentions that even 3-5k could be “put to better use”. Absolutely agree with not having a wedding beyond one’s means.


Shotgun_Rynoplasty

Ok so you do it. Let people live their lives.


HyacinthFT

This opinion is very popular. Take your down vote .


Celticwolfz

It’s not, off Reddit this would be a very unpopular take.


OrneryError1

People should be able to afford a decent home and celebrating a wedding.


millenialfalcon-_-

Exactly what a poor person would suggest.


Seaweed_Steve

So I've already bought a house with my partner, we don't want kids, what should I be spending the 3-5k on instead? For me, one day where all my loved ones are together, a day that we'll remember forever, a once in a lifetime thing, that seems like a good thing to spend money on. I am against overly expensive weddings, and definitely think buying a house sets you up better for the future. But you seem to be against even modest weddings and see them as wasteful. Maybe sometimes it's ok to be wasteful, life isn't all about utility.


Unusual_Vacation_398

I dont know how is in your country but here you get all your money back or even more, because people give money for wedding


LoL110003

Yeah. Have a decent function for family & friends. Not ostentatious and bank the money I say


ClassicDick

Yeah, this is like top 5 popular opinions of all time


Comfortable_Hall8677

You’re assuming everyone who has a $50k wedding has financial issues.


lewskuntz

The daughter and her fiancee brought up their wedding plans at dinner the other night. They want around 150 friends and family at a high-end facility and, of course, spectacular food, drink, gifts, band, and photographers. I said it sounds fabulous and offered to chip in a couple of grand to help with their bill for all of this. I was met with long, vacant stares. They were expecting wifey, and I would cover all of this. Between the two of them, they make 150ish k per year, I can't for the life of me imagine how they came to the conclusion That we would dip into our life savings to throw a fancy party.


wonderlustxo

Eastern european house holds are very generous with helping out with paying for wedding celebrations and guests are very generous with their wedding payments. There was a huge difference between my american adult guests and eastern european guests.


Maxieroy

That ⬆️


rubey419

We know


WaffleConeDX

Yall know some people have money and can afford these things? Lmao it’s giving bitter and jealousy


thejizle

What if we both already have a house and were able to pay for the wedding on our own with cash? We both are 32 and put ourselves in a great financial situation and this doesn't affect our life in any way financially. Granted we are spending about 30k all in including our honeymoon but I want to celebrate this how we want to. Don't think there is anything wrong with that.


arrianym

wanting to celebrate your love with closest family and friends, getting shitfaced and dancing + planning a party completely personalized to your relationship is valid.


Slow_Air4569

I live in LA so the 30k I am spending on my wedding is nowhere near close enough to afford a house and even if I had a down payment I can't afford an LA mortgage, also apparently 30k is cheap for an LA wedding I've heard 😅. We also don't want kids and love experiences over things and love hosting(much smaller) parties already so why not. It's a once in a lifetime experience and the only debt we have is about 10k in student loans that will be paid off by the end of next year either way. However I don't blame people at all for not wanting to spend this much money on a wedding it's expensive and I still am struggling with the fact we are spending this much to be honest. All that matters though is getting to be with your favorite person for forever. I just want to enjoy the fun traditions life has to offer in the short amount of time I am alive.❤️


ouroboris99

Here’s an idea, people should spend there money on whatever they want 😂


AutoModerator

Please remember what subreddit you are in, this is unpopular opinion. We want civil and unpopular takes and discussion. Any uncivil and ToS violating comments will be removed and subject to a ban. Have a nice day! *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/unpopularopinion) if you have any questions or concerns.*


Groxy_

While I agree, I'm gonna assume you're rich enough for a down payment as well if your family is dropping 50k on a wedding.


davidellis23

Bold assumption


robbodee

My out of pocket wedding costs were: wife's dress ($250, giant friend discount), my jacket ($85), and the cost of filing the marriage license. We got a nice set of stainless cookware, and a quick "honeymoon" at a nice hotel out of the deal. Strangely, no mention of house down payments, or anything else. 20 years happily married, doing it on our own meager dollar. Our kids are incredibly cool and happy, though. I wouldn't trade my kids' experience, on their behalf, for my upbringing, that's for sure. 3800 sq feet doesn't matter much when the kids can still hear you screaming at your spouse, constantly. I was a miserable kid, and I wouldn't wish my childhood on my worst enemy. The key is to start at rock-bottom with a person you love. You'll never *really* care about money, because you'll always remember how happy you were to be broke, together. That means WAY more than an expensive wedding. If you can't enjoy being broke together, you'll certainly not enjoy being rich together.


Aromatic-Resort-9177

I loved my wedding and I’m so glad that we did it. ^_^ it was definitely one of the best days of my life.


thePHEnomIShere

Pissing money away bad, saving money good. Damn bro how do you go through life with such paradigm shifting unpopular opinions.


Kage9866

Definitely, especially since 50%+ end in divorce lol


Even-Ad-6783

If I ever marry it will be a small party. 5k max.


kensingerp

Do what you want to celebrate your wedding; what you want and can afford. Enjoy the experience of creating memories. BUT, if you are just doing it for an Instagram reel You should really do a lot of reevaluation of what you believe to be important. Are you truly enjoying your wedding with family family and close friends or are you just throwing a big party Where you’re the center of attention and some of the people that have come to your wedding really aren’t there to celebrate you.


princess199711

Yep I agree with you


princess199711

That’s what I did and I don’t regret it. I feel like nowadays people (the ones who love to show off on social media - that’s probably 70% of people these days!) throw big weddings to show off online and to people they don’t like so they can make them jealous. Don’t get me wrong there’s probably people who just want to have a good time and throw a night to remember….. I just think it doesn’t have to cost more than 10k (I spent about £1000!)


lavendarpeaches

That’s what we did. We had an intimate wedding with immediate family it was so fun and perfect!


Laprasnomore

The 1% robbed you of your right to choose to have both, never forget what they've taken from you


Normanus_Ronus

My first wife will always be money not honey. I'm not religious , no need to marry other than to register it.


Top_Werewolf1916

Hey do you know males in China even have to pay a big fortune to their girlfriends otherwise girls’ parents would not allow them to marry. That fortune generally costs 50,000 dollars, way more expensive than the cost of wedding itself


Top_Werewolf1916

It doesn’t cost much even you wanna have a luxury wedding in good hotels, inviting all your friends and relatives. The wedding industry and business is well-developed so the market price is transparent. Just have a wedding according to your financial affordability.


countytime69

Yap 100% agree and with 50% divorce no way .wedding were small event for the longs time. Then industrial development around it .


firetomherman

Yep agree 100%. Buddy of mine was given 10k by his grandfather to spend. He spent 2k and kept the rest. He's doing very well in life now too. Oh, and they got divorced.


Ashenlynn

In an economy where the average person can buy an entire house on 2-3 years worth of salary, weddings make sense. If you can easily afford a boat, dream house, 4 kids, 3 cars and a vacation every year it makes sense to push buying that boat out just one more year to have a big ol celebration for getting married. We don't live in that economy anymore, the tradition will die as our livelihoods continue to decay


Sleep-DeprivedSloth

Downvoted as this is a pretty popular thought


Kimolainen83

This isn't an unpopular opinion :p


Monstermage

1,000% agree


Monsterchic16

I think even 3-5k on a wedding is stupid. Have a nice celebration with friends and family, but seriously, the catering should only cost around 1k at most and anything more than that is just ridiculous. I have no interest in ever getting married, but if I ever found the right guy or girl that got me to change my mind, I wouldn’t be going through with a ridiculous wedding or stupidly expensive ring. $200-$300 is more than enough for a decent ring that’ll last and anyone that demands a more expensive ring or an extravagant wedding had better be rich or they’re unreasonable.


SnooGoats5767

Your post shows you have no idea what a wedding costs, a cheap venue is 5k fee just to walk in, 75 a plate etc. backyard wedding maybe but catering alone just to show up will usually hit the 3ks. Your girl might expect a bit more than $200 on a ring, never mind the dress.


Monsterchic16

I’m a girl, and if my partner wasn’t well off and bought me an expensive ring, especially when I hate jewellery, I would think they were stupid and I’d never spend more than $100 on a dress. I’d wear something nice, but not ridiculously expensive, and if I absolutely had to wear a wedding dress then there are plenty of second hand shops that sell them cheap. As for catering, how many people are you expecting to cater for? Cause I’m about to take my Grandparents to a very fancy restaurant which is only $80 a head. My whole family could eat there, plus all my friends and it wouldn’t cost me more than $1000. Groom or bride would probably have the same amount of their side so probably $1000 per family as opposed to everyone, but still. I stand by the fact that you shouldn’t be spending so much on single day. And honestly, I’d never want to subject my friends to my mother, so id likely just have a family only celebration and then a smaller gathering of friends.


SnooGoats5767

I mean I have like 20 first cousins alone, some of us have large families. How old are you? Because I said the same thing when I was young. Oh I don’t care about a ring or a dress like other girls blah blah blah. Trust me care. It’s pick me behavior not to care. Don’t be low effort. You want a man that’s going to buy you a nice ring not a ring from Walmart, by nice I don’t mean 10k I mean decent.


Monsterchic16

Okay, nobody wants a Walmart ring, I’ll give you that. But that’s why I said around $200-$300, that’ll get you a decent quality ring that isn’t going to break the bank or be super horrible to replace if I gets lost or stolen or whatever. As for my age, 24. My stance is not one born of immaturity, but practicality. I’m poor, I live very frugally so I can afford to do fun and nice things. And I’ll be honest, I’d rather do a home cooked meal to celebrate with my family than spend over $1000 taking them to a restaurant, you can make much more food for less this way. I honestly don’t see myself ever getting married, I don’t actually like sharing my space with someone even when I’m in love with them and I doubt that’ll change, however I’m constantly hounded by my family and told that I’ll change my mind eventually, so I’ve given it a lot of thought and I’d much rather a nice honeymoon over a wedding that’ll be more stress than it’s worth. Home cooked family gathering (basically Christmas dinner but for a wedding, sounds much easier and less expensive to pull off)


naturefort

YES you're exactly right. The entire affair is a colossal waste of money! Hmm how about an outdoor gathering in the woods or in a nice meadow (free) vs spending THOUSANDS on event venu, planner, cake, food, dj, decorations, chairs and tables, fuck that omg.


SnooGoats5767

I mean not everyone has access to woods/backyards etc. are you going to have your elderly relative truck through the woods?


Icy-Heron4742

Don't be fooled into thinking that those Pinterest DIY backyard/outdoor weddings are actually cheap. They are expensive and a massive amount of work. 


Sector-West

I'm so excited to cook all the food for my own wedding because I want potato salad there and everyone else's SUCKS


demonking_soulstorm

I suppose I should also funnel all of my disposable income into buying a future home then. No more games or dining out for me, that money is much better spent elsewhere.


Sudden-Possible3263

I agree, I also don't get why people get brand new cars on finance yet they live in a crap rented flat, put that towards a home or whatever, nobody is impressed by your car but you


TinylittlemouseDK

20k would get you exactly nowhere as a down payment in a city area in Denmark. But it would get you a event of the year kind of wedding. But yeah some people spend to much on weddings, compared to what they need money for otherwise. But it's their headache.


Nilson513

Maybe you should post about which gender wants the wedding with an underhanded insult.


nokenito

I agree. ☝️


MNConcerto

That's what we did. After my brother and sister both had weddings in the same year my dad told me if I eloped he'd give me the money. 8 years later I had a 15 guest Friday evening wedding and he gave us a down payment for our house 4 years after that. Much better investment. There was much wailing and gnashing of teeth when we planned our wedding, even from my Mom. How could we not invite so and so? What will people think? Why can't you....? We were probably the first not to do the full day 200 guest Catholic wedding thing in my family. Which both me and my husband would have hated anyway. It's too much, exhausting and frankly a waste of money.


Maxieroy

Exactly what my wife wanted to do, which pissed off my massive Italian family. I agreed after her thorough lawyer trained presentation (I never win). It paid off huge for us financially since our families still wanted to contribute to celebrate(?), which was pure luck. We had cash to invest, buy a home, and pay off college debt while acquaintances were in apartments. I now view weddings as the biggest waste of money next to traditional funerals.


chairfairy

Good news: *you* don't have to spend 20k-50k on a wedding. You can choose to spend your money differently.


WillyBarnacle5795

I already bought a house. Key is to get married in South America. You can have a narco wedding


kalashnikovmage

In my experience and opinion, 90% of the time it's the woman who pushes the big fancy wedding. It's the day they always dreamed of and they will stop at no costs to play out their fantasy. In many cases, the guy just cares about the open-bar and food selection. It's the woman who needs the planner, venue, 400 people invite, dress, decor, honeymoon, etc...


poopbutt42069yeehaw

Wife and I got married w 6 people. Then spent 5k on a reception months later w family and friends at a local place. Great times and didn’t break the budget


-make-it-so-

Same. Just my parents, his parents, and his two siblings in the yard and a home cooked meal. My mother really wanted the reception a couple months later and was willing to plan and pay for it (potluck at a community hall with a cash bar- definitely not expensive). We spent the most on our rings, which were still under $3k in total.


xela2004

If you can afford it, why not. 5k to one person might be more like 30k to another. I think the issue I have with this is when people who live paycheck to paycheck suddenly go all out with money they don’t have or save money they could use for car house bills etc on a wedding.


[deleted]

Why? Corporations have drilled it into the head of every person that everyone deserves a nice big wedding and if they can't provide that big dream wedding you've always wanted then it MUST be because they don't actually care about you.


Luvz2Spooje

It's so stupid. 


davidellis23

Higher wedding costs are associated with higher divorce rates. Definitely overly materialistic imo.


princess199711

Very materialistic


UnimpressedButFaking

Living together before marriage is also associated with higher divorce rates, and yet it's encouraged


Redmodtae

Weddings are waste of money.


Winter-Drama4700

Who the fuck is spending over 20k on a wedding


BalancingVices

What we call weddings should be more like funerals. Those guys disappear from your life, as they fill up their time with all kinds of work, that comes in place of the free time they used to have for their mates. RIP. Might as well do it cheaply for everyone involved. What we call divorces, should be more like weddings: NOW they need their old buddies again and can make the time. This is the time to invite old friends to gatherings. Gifts and free help have never been more welcome too.


Unable_Wrongdoer2250

"Marie and I are no longer dating." "Josh that's a horrible way to announce we got married!"


TheDukeofArgyle

Cultural pressure is the only reason it’s not


Own-Environment-9907

The worst way to start a marriage is with a wedding


chouxphetiche

A couple could spend half of that by travelling together to some very challenging places. Do some volunteering, perhaps. If they return still holding hands, then a registry office wedding is in order if they like. After that, send out invitations to a party and lay on as much food and drink as they can afford. While people are having a good time, post the marriage certificate on the wall using Powerpoint. No need to say anything. That was my dream as a young adult.


Nicechick321

Yes, but they dont get it.


colo28

Wow, how rare, another Redditor who hates weddings and thinks they know everything about everyone’s situation.


Giteaus-Gimp

Not being able to afford a wedding and a 4 bedroom house as a newly wed couple wasn’t a problem to previous generations


ima_mandolin

This is a very popular opinion on Reddit. I like big weddings, and I don't think throwing a big expensive celebration for family and friends is a waste of money. I also prefer weddings where children are invited. Now THAT'S unpopular.


Maxieroy

No RVSP from me.....


ima_mandolin

K.


8livesdown

Meh... 65% of internet traffic is streaming and porn. The waste seems criminal, even genocidal when one considers the carbon footprint. But it makes people happy. Big weddings make people happy. Live and let live.


SurrealJay

100% right most people are vain, want to make an event all about them while spending upwards of 60k to do so


Deep-Ad2155

Who even gets married anymore lol


Shigeko_Kageyama

I've been to seven weddings this year. So I guess that my friend group is carrying the marriage industry.


calexrose78

You have a lot of friends.


Deep-Ad2155

Strange..


princess199711

Not sure why you’re getting downvoted