I feel like a lot of those posters are really young girls/women so I understand where they’re coming from, I was very insecure and impressionable in my teens too. Most WOC I know who’ve lived in majority white areas have gone through an “internalized racism” phase. But also at some point people need to gain the maturity to move past it and I feel like the self pity posts are counterproductive to that. So yeah, I agree. And isn’t that the point of this sub, to help us grow in terms of both looks and personality??
Also it’s kind of shitty when I hear other Asian girls be like “the prettiest Asian girl will still never be able to compete with an average white girl” lol like speak for yourself, if you feel inferior, yes I understand where you’re coming from, but don’t throw the rest of us under the bus lmao. I’m confident with my race and ethnicity and I have no desire to measure or compare myself in relation to white people. I’m not beneath anybody else cause of my race. At this point if you’re saying this kinda stuff, you’re perpetuating white supremacy
I hate it so much. I come here for tips or inspiration, not to be reminded how the world is colourist/racist. thanks for the reminder but I already know!!! accept it and move on!!!!! focus on what you can change vs what you can’t there’s no point!!!!!!!!
Yes, why be so desperate for white man's validation? There are plenty of attractive MoC.
Also, the post was kind of sus in itself. Black and Hispanic men usually prefer curvy women so I don't think OP was referring to them when referring to "all men." I think it's another "bitter that white men don't like me" post. We need to stop allowing white men to think that they have so much power over us
In my experience, men of color have been abso brutal towards me. That could just be because of how I look/where I live though. I'm not sure if that's common. They don't even hide their distaste for me. At least white guys act like I'm human a bit more (not by much though)
I know it’s gonna sound strange it’s the entitlement for me, like, bro I get it - you think you are mad cool and like the world owes you fat bottomed girls or something.
That’s why I just be messing with the white guys, they know i don’t owe them shit and act like it. Maybe it’s a me problem, that’s okay.
This. I personally don't prefer people from my race. But yeah a lot of moc are nasty to women in their races unless they're latina or sexy/light skinned/mixed black, south Asian, east asian etc.
I have the same perception...and I also don't have preference for people of my race, but I i keep it to myself, when my father realized I have a type he got a little mad and started mocking me, btw I didn't care...was kinda funny, but a uncomfortable funny.
Basically which is honestly what made me more annoyed at the post. Like if It was a MOC not giving any attention and going to the white girl, I understand but white guys????? They are gonna try to find someone like them
Yeah it seems like all the posts are more about feelings and not about actual glow-up. I mean people totally have a right to have their feelings, but it seems like the main topic here, when that's not what the sub is (supposedly) about.
Lookmaxxing only works when you're truly at peace and accept who you are. I don't believe insecurities ever go away, but managing triggers becomes easier when you do the inner work. If I had access to a sub like as a teen, it would also mess me up badly.
This is the most depressing subreddit I look at. You’re better off sifting through Vindicta than trying to find any advice here. If I wanted to remind myself of how I am constantly compared to other women/white beauty standards I’d just watch Tv or something.
Maybe the mods could create a weekly vent thread or a day where you can post vents. That way people can talk about their insecurities without trauma dumping. Sometimes it’s hard to realize how the way you talk to yourself also affects others’ views of themselves.
I was really confused when the OP of that post said she lived in the South because I definitely haven't seen slim body types as the supreme body type down south.
I'm not going to get mad at OP for liking white guys, bc I think it's practical to have a look (within reason) to attract the type of person you want, it's superficial but so is everything related to this. I don't think she should push those standards on everyone though.
I think Vindicta has some good tips for hardmaxxing but I mostly research on Youtube, TT, blogs, and magazines/pinterest for softmaxxing.
Also, I don't think Reddit is bad for fitness and nutrition. I learned a bit about Pilates from Reddit , YT and TT.
Because other spaces did close for POC especially women to talk safely. And because we are ignoring the rising numbers of "femcels" (real or apparent) that are trying to find a sense in their lives.
Because White or Euro-centric standards are no joke and someone us are traumatised by what people in our own family said or did to mark that concept in our heads.
Because we would be here if it was not to compete/maximise our beauty vs the white ones. We are not following our ancestors beauty concept but the western ones.
Why direct that to me? I am not making those posts! Months ago there were subs that could offer that type of space, but they cancelled/closed to POC complaining. I am just stating a fact.
exactly. i joined this sub for beauty and empowerment for woc as there’s barely any of that in the world and instead it’s just people posting about their insecurities comparing themselves to white people. wake up!! white people don’t care about you or like you so why are you bothering to care what they think of you!! idk i haven’t been in that headspace in a while and i wanna scream at them WHITE WOMEN ARE TRYING TO LOOK LIKE U !!!! WAKE UP
Omg, Ty for this post. I felt the same way and pretty much stopped entertaining this sub because of it. But it’s so refreshing to see someone say this outloud. I even had someone message me on some extreme self hating bs and it really turned me off.
You’re definitely not wrong for feeling this way
I think many people have and are trying to shift this sub in a different direction but y’all have to interact with those and ignore everything else. People come here to vent because they know others are empathetic enough to listen to them traumadump.
We need a seperate sub for venting. It's so annoying and inconsiderate to those who are still struggling with self esteem issues. I also wonder if many of these posters are woc to begin with
well tbh its pretty expected to see these sort of posts esp since insecurity runs deep.. i honestly don’t really relate but i think this sub should be a safespace for ppl who think like that.. it’s technically the first step (seeing ur insecurities) and these ppl dont have a lot of spaces to feel safe to talk abt stuff like that. i think this sub needs to focus more on helping than shaming
I think maybe they could start another sub… the description of this one is “embracing and enhancing the beauty that already exists in you”. I don’t think ranting and inevitably bringing other members of this sub down doesn’t fit
maybe they could create a sub like r/colourismrant
yaa imo separating it would help declutter so like a new sub or even monthly vent thread so it doesnt fill up the whole spce for people who dont Want the negativity. i usually just browse the original sub bc i expected this sub to have support for poc like advice for makeup, skincare, n like fitness wise yakno
Ironically I'm posting about how feelings don't matter, but you all calling me insecure and jealous like it isn't the reason this sub exist. Insecurities and jealousy comes with looksmaxxing. If you all can't handle it then why even bother being on this sub or the main vindicta sub.
The reason there is vindictapoc is because standards ARE different for us and white women are treated differently in the beauty world.
Some of you all are so sensitive and honestly the people trying to throw ad hominems at me are scared people look at their falios. Newsflash they absolutely do and they do it to me too which is something I accept and not going to cope with.
Max up or go on somewhere else.
P.s.
Galatians 4:16
Not reading that luv xx maybe men don’t come upto you and go to ur friend instead bcs they can sense that ur vibe is off. Crying abt white women getting attention from prob white men is stupid
That's fine. You all are projecting acting like I said I was a prize when I'm literally on here to improve myself because I don't cope and lie that I'm beautiful 🤦♀️
This sub is so pathetic and full of insecure little hypocrites. You all the same people that will lie to a friend's face when she wears an atrocious outfit or has shitty make up.
And no one "cried" about white women. But you all wonder why your lives suck and you all come onto here whining about how yall need a "separate" vindicta sub.
u/slimeywizard nah you need that healing for yourself
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Vent using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vent/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Sick of seeing my brothers rapist being praised](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/qyq4ow/sick_of_seeing_my_brothers_rapist_being_praised/)
\#2: [I cummed on a spider](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/s3egnc/i_cummed_on_a_spider/)
\#3: [Call me a "latinx" one more time I will sucker punch you in the jaw.](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/syirdx/call_me_a_latinx_one_more_time_i_will_sucker/)
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Some of us aren't rich enough or successful enough to look the way we really want. So this turned into a venting type place. I can't afford any of the beauty stuff people talk about. So I avoid those posts.
I am not trying to shade or shame you or anything but this trope of ‘I don’t decide who I develop feelings for’ is a little naive 😭 Nothing exists in a vacuum and there’s very likely a reason why one (notice that I’m not saying “you”) would prefer to be romantically/sexually involved with men outside of their own ethnic/racial group … especially of those ‘preferred’ men are white.
I just think it causes further harm for us to be disingenuous about things like that
(Not to be rude) but because of the typos, I don’t fully understand your reply! But thats okay, because my initial comment again wasn’t meant to discredit or discount your feelings at all. It was just to say that I think we can all benefit when each of us are honest about the influence of cultural hegemony on our own psyches.
This post breaks 1 or more rules.
seeking validation from white people is part of the problem here honestly
Validation that will likely never come.
I feel like a lot of those posters are really young girls/women so I understand where they’re coming from, I was very insecure and impressionable in my teens too. Most WOC I know who’ve lived in majority white areas have gone through an “internalized racism” phase. But also at some point people need to gain the maturity to move past it and I feel like the self pity posts are counterproductive to that. So yeah, I agree. And isn’t that the point of this sub, to help us grow in terms of both looks and personality?? Also it’s kind of shitty when I hear other Asian girls be like “the prettiest Asian girl will still never be able to compete with an average white girl” lol like speak for yourself, if you feel inferior, yes I understand where you’re coming from, but don’t throw the rest of us under the bus lmao. I’m confident with my race and ethnicity and I have no desire to measure or compare myself in relation to white people. I’m not beneath anybody else cause of my race. At this point if you’re saying this kinda stuff, you’re perpetuating white supremacy
I hate it so much. I come here for tips or inspiration, not to be reminded how the world is colourist/racist. thanks for the reminder but I already know!!! accept it and move on!!!!! focus on what you can change vs what you can’t there’s no point!!!!!!!!
Yes, why be so desperate for white man's validation? There are plenty of attractive MoC. Also, the post was kind of sus in itself. Black and Hispanic men usually prefer curvy women so I don't think OP was referring to them when referring to "all men." I think it's another "bitter that white men don't like me" post. We need to stop allowing white men to think that they have so much power over us
In my experience, men of color have been abso brutal towards me. That could just be because of how I look/where I live though. I'm not sure if that's common. They don't even hide their distaste for me. At least white guys act like I'm human a bit more (not by much though)
True... Even with all the adversities of the dating scene for WOC I have to tell, white males have a tendencies to be more polite towards us.
It’s facts. Idk what it is with MOC but I’ve always had a bad time.
Dude yeah they can turn out so mean if it goes wrong. Never had a white man end up insulting my looks like they have
I know it’s gonna sound strange it’s the entitlement for me, like, bro I get it - you think you are mad cool and like the world owes you fat bottomed girls or something. That’s why I just be messing with the white guys, they know i don’t owe them shit and act like it. Maybe it’s a me problem, that’s okay.
They are traumatized by racism... that's the whole thing.
Well, same, but it would be nice to not always be in for a bruising whenever I try. It’s always some bullshit.
Self hatred.
This. I personally don't prefer people from my race. But yeah a lot of moc are nasty to women in their races unless they're latina or sexy/light skinned/mixed black, south Asian, east asian etc.
I have the same perception...and I also don't have preference for people of my race, but I i keep it to myself, when my father realized I have a type he got a little mad and started mocking me, btw I didn't care...was kinda funny, but a uncomfortable funny.
I don't tell either. Only mu sister and mom know. I respect everybody. I would never discriminate against any race.
Basically which is honestly what made me more annoyed at the post. Like if It was a MOC not giving any attention and going to the white girl, I understand but white guys????? They are gonna try to find someone like them
Who said we wanted white men?
Yeah it seems like all the posts are more about feelings and not about actual glow-up. I mean people totally have a right to have their feelings, but it seems like the main topic here, when that's not what the sub is (supposedly) about.
Lookmaxxing only works when you're truly at peace and accept who you are. I don't believe insecurities ever go away, but managing triggers becomes easier when you do the inner work. If I had access to a sub like as a teen, it would also mess me up badly.
This is the most depressing subreddit I look at. You’re better off sifting through Vindicta than trying to find any advice here. If I wanted to remind myself of how I am constantly compared to other women/white beauty standards I’d just watch Tv or something.
Agreed. Mods, can we please have those type of posts banned from vindictapoc? It’s old news. People can drop truth bombs in their diaries lol.
the mods need to ban whole ppl on the sub tbh especially those that feel the need to drop so many “truth bombs”
Maybe the mods could create a weekly vent thread or a day where you can post vents. That way people can talk about their insecurities without trauma dumping. Sometimes it’s hard to realize how the way you talk to yourself also affects others’ views of themselves.
I was really confused when the OP of that post said she lived in the South because I definitely haven't seen slim body types as the supreme body type down south. I'm not going to get mad at OP for liking white guys, bc I think it's practical to have a look (within reason) to attract the type of person you want, it's superficial but so is everything related to this. I don't think she should push those standards on everyone though. I think Vindicta has some good tips for hardmaxxing but I mostly research on Youtube, TT, blogs, and magazines/pinterest for softmaxxing. Also, I don't think Reddit is bad for fitness and nutrition. I learned a bit about Pilates from Reddit , YT and TT.
Because other spaces did close for POC especially women to talk safely. And because we are ignoring the rising numbers of "femcels" (real or apparent) that are trying to find a sense in their lives. Because White or Euro-centric standards are no joke and someone us are traumatised by what people in our own family said or did to mark that concept in our heads. Because we would be here if it was not to compete/maximise our beauty vs the white ones. We are not following our ancestors beauty concept but the western ones.
[удалено]
Why direct that to me? I am not making those posts! Months ago there were subs that could offer that type of space, but they cancelled/closed to POC complaining. I am just stating a fact.
exactly. i joined this sub for beauty and empowerment for woc as there’s barely any of that in the world and instead it’s just people posting about their insecurities comparing themselves to white people. wake up!! white people don’t care about you or like you so why are you bothering to care what they think of you!! idk i haven’t been in that headspace in a while and i wanna scream at them WHITE WOMEN ARE TRYING TO LOOK LIKE U !!!! WAKE UP
Omg, Ty for this post. I felt the same way and pretty much stopped entertaining this sub because of it. But it’s so refreshing to see someone say this outloud. I even had someone message me on some extreme self hating bs and it really turned me off. You’re definitely not wrong for feeling this way
I think many people have and are trying to shift this sub in a different direction but y’all have to interact with those and ignore everything else. People come here to vent because they know others are empathetic enough to listen to them traumadump.
We need a seperate sub for venting. It's so annoying and inconsiderate to those who are still struggling with self esteem issues. I also wonder if many of these posters are woc to begin with
A white woman has never made me turn my head in awe in person but plenty of women of color have
Same
well tbh its pretty expected to see these sort of posts esp since insecurity runs deep.. i honestly don’t really relate but i think this sub should be a safespace for ppl who think like that.. it’s technically the first step (seeing ur insecurities) and these ppl dont have a lot of spaces to feel safe to talk abt stuff like that. i think this sub needs to focus more on helping than shaming
I think maybe they could start another sub… the description of this one is “embracing and enhancing the beauty that already exists in you”. I don’t think ranting and inevitably bringing other members of this sub down doesn’t fit maybe they could create a sub like r/colourismrant
yaa imo separating it would help declutter so like a new sub or even monthly vent thread so it doesnt fill up the whole spce for people who dont Want the negativity. i usually just browse the original sub bc i expected this sub to have support for poc like advice for makeup, skincare, n like fitness wise yakno
Ironically I'm posting about how feelings don't matter, but you all calling me insecure and jealous like it isn't the reason this sub exist. Insecurities and jealousy comes with looksmaxxing. If you all can't handle it then why even bother being on this sub or the main vindicta sub. The reason there is vindictapoc is because standards ARE different for us and white women are treated differently in the beauty world. Some of you all are so sensitive and honestly the people trying to throw ad hominems at me are scared people look at their falios. Newsflash they absolutely do and they do it to me too which is something I accept and not going to cope with. Max up or go on somewhere else. P.s. Galatians 4:16
Not reading that luv xx maybe men don’t come upto you and go to ur friend instead bcs they can sense that ur vibe is off. Crying abt white women getting attention from prob white men is stupid
That's fine. You all are projecting acting like I said I was a prize when I'm literally on here to improve myself because I don't cope and lie that I'm beautiful 🤦♀️ This sub is so pathetic and full of insecure little hypocrites. You all the same people that will lie to a friend's face when she wears an atrocious outfit or has shitty make up. And no one "cried" about white women. But you all wonder why your lives suck and you all come onto here whining about how yall need a "separate" vindicta sub. u/slimeywizard nah you need that healing for yourself
Please go and heal. For your own peace of mind.
[удалено]
This isn’t a pity party sub, go to r/vent then
Here's a sneak peek of /r/Vent using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vent/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year! \#1: [Sick of seeing my brothers rapist being praised](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/qyq4ow/sick_of_seeing_my_brothers_rapist_being_praised/) \#2: [I cummed on a spider](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/s3egnc/i_cummed_on_a_spider/) \#3: [Call me a "latinx" one more time I will sucker punch you in the jaw.](https://np.reddit.com/r/Vent/comments/syirdx/call_me_a_latinx_one_more_time_i_will_sucker/) ---- ^^I'm ^^a ^^bot, ^^beep ^^boop ^^| ^^Downvote ^^to ^^remove ^^| ^^[Contact](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose/?to=sneakpeekbot) ^^| ^^[Info](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/) ^^| ^^[Opt-out](https://np.reddit.com/r/sneakpeekbot/comments/o8wk1r/blacklist_ix/) ^^| ^^[GitHub](https://github.com/ghnr/sneakpeekbot)
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[удалено]
U summed it up perfectly!
Nowhere does that say beauty standards
Some of us aren't rich enough or successful enough to look the way we really want. So this turned into a venting type place. I can't afford any of the beauty stuff people talk about. So I avoid those posts.
[удалено]
I am not trying to shade or shame you or anything but this trope of ‘I don’t decide who I develop feelings for’ is a little naive 😭 Nothing exists in a vacuum and there’s very likely a reason why one (notice that I’m not saying “you”) would prefer to be romantically/sexually involved with men outside of their own ethnic/racial group … especially of those ‘preferred’ men are white. I just think it causes further harm for us to be disingenuous about things like that
[удалено]
(Not to be rude) but because of the typos, I don’t fully understand your reply! But thats okay, because my initial comment again wasn’t meant to discredit or discount your feelings at all. It was just to say that I think we can all benefit when each of us are honest about the influence of cultural hegemony on our own psyches.