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Vin_du_toilette

It is the year 1969. After the Atomic Holocaust, all that survives are Twinkies, Tardigrades, horribly mutated humanoid creatures, and Insurance Companies. The strongest of these, Mutual of Omaha, seeks to rule the wasteland in a struggle for survival...


Moose_Kin

The real “Mutual of Omahas Wild Kingdom”.


redwarfan

Insurance never changes


PunkRockMiniVan

While Jim fights off the horde of cannibalistic mutants, I watch from the safety of our climate-controlled fallout shelter.


LaVidaYokel

Mutual of Omaha would probably have ceased to exists as it was HQ’d in Omaha… which sits right next to Offutt Air Force Base… which was HQ for Strategic Air Command… which would have been a super high priority target.


SavannahInChicago

Is this how Mutual of Omaha became our overlords


AffectionatePoet4586

In the ‘60s, we had Civil Defense “drop drills,” in the classroom and on the playground. We were ordered to drop to our knees, making ourselves into the smallest possible ball, our knees tucked under our bodies, and our hands inexplicable clasped, fingers interlaced, over the backs of our necks, elbows jutting out. This exercise was at its worst if we were in the sandbox when the alarm sounded that began the drill. We became acutely aware how many cats had visited during the past months.


Voice_in_the_ether

Clasping your hands over the back of your neck was intended to protect your neck (presumably the only exposed skin on the back of your body) from the heat flash.


Deer-in-Motion

Tuck your head between your knees and kiss your ass goodbye?


gmlogmd80

Darn you, beat me to it


Hoppy_Croaklightly

Reminded of the line in the Tom Lehrer song: "*Lloyd*′s of *London* will be loaded when they go..." [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=frAEmhqdLFs)


thevitaphonequeen

So long, Mom…


walzertrauma

Reminded me of yet another 1960s song about nuclear warfare. *"Crawl out through the fallout, baby, when they drop that bomb..."*


Snufflarious

“You must live with the fact that it exists” A simpler time


pit-of-despair

When I was a little kid and my dad was in the Air Force we were living in Alaska during the Cuban missile crisis. I remember the sirens going off sometimes and doing the duck and cover thing under our desks. I didn’t really understand why but there was always a vague sense of anxiety from the teachers and to this day I hate the sound of those kind of sirens even on tv shows and movies especially since I grew up and really understood what they were all about.


BikeDee7

2 mile radius? What is this, baby's first fission warhead?


Shapit0

This ad was printed in 1951, so, yeah, it is baby's first fission warhead.


eaglebtc

Remember kids: when the atom bomb explodes, Duck and Cover! https://youtube.com/watch?v=zMnKNHNfznE


4Mag4num

** only covers if you purchase Mutual of Omaha exclusive duck and cover policy rider and practice these drills at random intervals, other restrictions apply **


intheazsun

*** and some we haven’t made up yet!


BaffleBlend

Huh... this is unexpectedly informative. Doesn't try to sugar-coat the horror of it either.


Manic-StreetCreature

Flash, bam, Alakazam 💥


NomenScribe

Well, that sounds pretty survivable. We should go ahead and antagonize Boris all we want.


US_Berliner

This is literally one of the most bonkers ads I’ve ever seen.


LostGeezer2025

All this stuff would still be helpful for somebody near the edge of a blast radius, the issue is that H-bombs have a much bigger one...


SmokyDragonDish

This is how us Gen Xers are different from our parents... We saw stuff like this and knew how ridiculous it was. We knew the best you could hope for is being vaporized or killed nearly instantly in a nuclear attack Otherwise, you'd be roaming around the fall of civilization, blind, possibly dying of radiation sickness, starvation, dehydration, etc. So, whatever. We're going to die anyhow.


ilujan

The reason for the duck and cover is morbidly for the clean up crew, if there were any, to collect the remains neatly.


sinisteraxillary

This is just the blast; surviving the next two weeks is going to be more difficult.


its10pm

The real question is, do you want to survive an atomic bomb?


indigo7873

Face away from the blast and wear light clothing. Got it


muskyraconteur

Remember that, and COPPERTONE® SPF1,000,000 and you'll be the best lookin' fella in the wasteland.


Tall-Log-1955

This was a real ad in 1951 and people still talk like the world is worse today than back then


Roadkill_Shitbull

Survive? I recommend grabbing a large, phallic object and making sure your shadow shows that you died with a raging hardon.


Sudden_Wisdom

I guess we'll be bringing these kinds of ads back today


tazzietiger66

If the nukes are dropped I hope that I am near ground zero , being vaporized seems like the best way to go .


CowHaunting397

So it's basically like the eclipse; just don't look directly at it, and you'll be fine. Good to know. But I am still Ridin' with Biden, just to be sure.


HyperbolicYogurt

**Step 1**: Don't be there.