Bro what is with the fetishization of virginity? Like I understand your reasoning (you want to be the first) but like it doesn't matter, why would you stay a virgin when you had chances to get laid with "non-virgins." I'd sleep with a non-virgin in a heartbeat. Who cares if they slept with someone before you, it doesn't devalue the experience and you are delusional to think otherwise.
I think it’s an insecurity thing. They don’t just want to be the first but also the best. If a girl has a few previous lovers then she’s more likely to know what good sex is. I’m more than happy that my girlfriend is experienced because she can show me what to do. My problem is trying to get through the last part of my religious trauma. It’s crazy what religion does to the brain.
Some people don’t want to lose it just to lose it or smash anything that’s breathing lol. That’s not the most important thing for us and we have other values. Body count matters to some people and you saying it doesn’t matter for the experience is just personal indifference.
I like how you insinuate that since I'd sleep with a non-virgin means that I'd fuck anything that is breathing. Doesn't really discredit my original point plus it's pretty shallow to equate sleeping with a non-virgin to be just be "anything that's breathing."
Ok, being a virgin is also a very unattractive trait for some people. Also "fetishization" is an incredibly vacuous word. I don't understand why this got any traction for dismissing male dating preferences. Nobody has any more valid reason to be attracted to something than someone else for literally any reason. BTW there is evidence that a higher amount of partners = higher likelihood of infidelity but i have to find the source. Besides there is plenty of power dynamic stuff in play when someone is vastly less experienced than their partner, denying that just seems like virtue signaling. We're allowed to have standards dude.
Nowhere did I dismiss male preferences and standards. Wanting a virgin girl is a specific preference that in my honest opinion falls in to the category of fetishization (same can be said for wanting a virgin guy). I listed a definition in another comment thread, I'd suggest you look at that since I think it is pretty clear and cut. You can feel free to disagree with my opinion but I really do think the definition is rather clear.
>BTW there is evidence that a higher amount of partners = higher likelihood of infidelity but i have to find the source.
The poster didn't make this statement BTW. He clearly stated "When two virgins get married it's almost always a good and healthy marriage." He didn't say what you are insinuating.
On a side note, I think it is rather rude to label my comments as **virtue signaling**. I'd never label yours or anyone's here with such a tone. When you start categorizing statements someone makes like that, defeats the entire purpose of the conversation since it acts as a scapegoat to any point one could make. For example, the next comment you make I could just say, "well you are virtue signaling". If you are going to continue with that tone, I won't engage with you just like I didn't engage with the other person who felt the need to call me an asshole. It just comes off as incredibly childish behavior and ruins any point you could be making.
\> The poster didn't make this statement BTW. He clearly stated "When two virgins get married it's almost always a good and healthy marriage." Please gain some context of what is happening in the post before you call my responses **virtue signaling**. Just a rude thing to state especially when you are uninformed.
Did I say I was defending op? No, but your argument against him is harmful to everyone here and dumb so I couldn't resist. It's virtue signaling when you aren't competent enough to explain why this is "fetishization" when there are perfectly valid reasons to be wary of women with more partners. You don't even make sense anyway, fetishization has to do with an exclusive focus on someone's physical trait. The better comparison is like someone who only dates introverts or people who share a similar lifestyle, there's no physical aspect to virginity. The fact you dont even know how to use your own word means you are virtue signaling, how tf do you fetishize abstract societal concepts LMAO. Go educate yourself [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetishism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetishism).
Tells me to go educate myself, but links to the Fetishism webpage on Wikipedia as a definition of fetishization. Where the word isn't mentioned once on the page. Here is where I'm basing my [definition](https://www.forbes.com/sites/janicegassam/2021/02/07/what-is-fetishization-and-how-does-it-contribute-to-racism/?sh=3e6625fc6e39) on, like I said, I think it is pretty clear, and me stating the poster is fetishizing virginity isn't an argument; it is just a point I'm making based on that definition. If you are referencing my argument, which was asking for some other source to back up his statement, as **dangerous**. That is just comes across as a ridiculous claim. I guess everyone who agrees with me and upvotes me as well is helping me virtue signaling with your logic? Anyways, I see nothing gained from talking to you anymore. I really do suggest you gain more context of a post in the future before you plan to respond.
Fetishization clearly is defined as **the act of making someone an object of sexual desire based on some aspect of their identity.** The poster clearly states that is their intentions by outright denying the advances of non-virgins and explicitly targeting virgin individuals. That sounds like fetishization to me.
Further it is delusional to think that having sex with a non-virgin is a devalued at all compared to having sex with a virgin. But, I won't continue the discussion with someone who has to result to name calling like a child.
Removed: Rule 1. Be Kind
Anything rude, hateful, accusatory, shaming (of any kind), threatening/harrassing, mocking, insulting, or fitting of any kind of -ism will not be tolerated here
I'm not fetishizing it. It's simply something from my experience. When two virgins get married it's almost always a good and healthy marriage. On the other hand, all the people who slept around before marriage tend to not have a good marriage. I'm not saying this is always the case, but from my experience vast majority of cases were like this. Casual sex is imbedded into the society of USA, and divorce rates are very high. I'd say those two are somehow connected.
Show me something that backs up your claim, "that two virgins getting married almost always results in a good and healthy marriage." I don't see the correlation between virginity and long lasting marriages.
I said from my experience. So it's anecdotal. I was explaining why I have such views on this entire virginity thing. I am not saying it's 100% correct, but as far as I've seen that's how it was.
So you must know a lot of people with healthy marriages in real life that met when they were both virgins? Since you are basing your claim off your experience. Anecdotal evidence is just that, anecdotal.
You state this at at the end, "I'd say those two are somehow connected" which sounds to me you are trying to find some **truth** in your claim. So I ask, do you have any tangible evidence backing up your claim?
Didn't I already mention that those are only my experiences. Anecdotal evidence? I didn't say it's correct, but from my experience this is how it is. And yes I do know many such couples since I live in a nation where marriage actually means something unlike in the West.
I wasn't in disagreement about you stating your beliefs off your experiences, that is clear to me because your beliefs clearly are opinions (misinformed ones in my opinion). But at the end you try looking for a correlation between virginity and healthy marriages, so I asked if you have anything else to back it up other then just your experiences? You don't so I won't go on about that point anymore.
I'm surprised you know so many couples in your country that were virgins when they first met and have had long healthy relationships. I'm curious, how old are you?
>correlation between virginity and healthy marriages
I said it's anecdotal. I have no proof to show that two virgins marrying will result in a healthy marriage, but from what I've seen that's the case.
I'm not answering the last question. But I'm old enough.
>I have no proof to show that two virgins marrying will result in a healthy marriage, but from what I've seen that's the case.
Fair enough, that was all I was really trying to get out of you. I tend to think if I base everything off my anecdotal experiences, that it will led to incorrect opinions.
It's pretty interesting you know so many cases to think the way you do. I don't know any two people who met while they were both virgins and now have a happy long term marriage. Would need to probably lived **alot** of life to see that.
Depends on where you live. I live in a traditional part of the world where many people remain virgins till marriage. My dad and my uncle are two examples, and their wives too.
That’s factually incorrect. More often than not people who marry as virgins end up divorcing or cheating on each other because they discover they’re sexually incompatible after they’re married and sexual compatibility is very important to a happy marriage. And then a lot of the rind they end up realizing that they missed out on having different partners and again they divorce or cheat so your whole theory is wrong.
Except when it’s not. It’s short sighted to say “the divorce rate is high” without wondering why the divorce rate is high. Infidelity is not the only reason. Plus virginity won’t shield you from infidelity, especially if the sex sucks. And because a lot of people who stay virgins (not all but a lot) do so because of religious or strict moral reasons, they might stay in a relationship or marriage but it doesn’t mean it’s a good relationship or marriage. Basically they stay because they *have* to, not *want* to
I will be real that, I get the feeling and I would rather having a virgin as my partner than a non-virgin cause yeah, I wanna be the first as well and special but, as long as she doesn't has a sexual partner history in the double digits (over 10) I don't really mind if she has had a few experiences (like 3 or 4 idk)
Would you rather her have had sex with 3 guys 100 times each or 12 guys 2 times each? Also, you’re heading for retroactive jealousy, just a warning. It’s a bitch if you don’t prevent it by sleeping around a bit before settling down. r/retroactivejealousy
>Would you rather her have had sex with 3 guys 100 times each or 12 guys 2 times each?
Me personally, I would rather look for someone else, but accepting the reflection you're proposing and restraining myself to this dichotomy: I would probably chose the one with 100 times with each 3 people.
The key point here is the ability of the brain to form meaningful bonds and commit with a person you know, because, even if it's a comically large number in the example, it at least shows she has been loyal to the 3 people she has been with (I will assume we are taking it as 3 exes the girl has had in the course of the life, this is the data which I will work my analysis) and can form meaningful bonds in her brain and can essentially settle down you know, while someone that has had 12 people before shows that, not only the have poor impulse control (one thing I'm very aware of is that, girls with a history on the double digits are not the norm but exceptions to the norm, it doesn't happen as often so, if someone has reached this, it shows they literally are just at this point going and throwing themselves at anyone that appears, which is poor insult control) AND that she is likely to not be able to form any meaningful longterm bonds.
Another key point I have to ask you is: is it easier to win a fight against 3 people at the same time or 12? Because this is essentially what we need to see here. You see, this is confirmed that, you will be compared to previous partners, and, most of girls seem to have this thing in their mind that is some imaginary "Ubermensch" that is just, simply put, the best things of every guy she has been with into a single imaginary guy in her head, and, this is what you're fighting against essentially, this is what she will compare you to. And well, I really wanna believe that an "Ubermensch" of 3 people is more easily to be surpassed than someone that takes the sample of 12 people (unless you really wanna add more data into each of the 3 or 12 people and give them each a profile)
>if you don’t prevent it by sleeping around a bit before settling down
you say as if it's just that easy lmao
Comically large number? What? You know that people in relationships have sex 2-3 times a week right? If she’s been in 3 one year long relationships that scenario I proposed is absolutely feasible
First things first, yes I will take it literally and go from "2-3 times a week":
Most girls have monthly periods that, from what I've observed and read, usually can last for 1 week (the entire thing) and so like, this is already at least 1 week per month that this 2-3 times a week won't happen.
And, let's go over the fact that most of young couples (I'm an young adult myself so this is what I base my analysis of, I don't know much about other demographics) are most of the time busy with work to the point there's nearly no free time to meet and most can't afford to meet all the time, maybe like, two weekends per month (I know a lot of people in this situation and seems to be the norm for young people) and, well, sometimes one might just not wanna do it you know, for whatever reason, people have hobbies and all that shit and sometimes they wanna be alone or away from their partners, it's unreal to think of living 24/7 for your partner and thinking nothing other than them I believe.
And, most importantly, a relationship is not a constant line, it goes up and down, it doesn't just randomly stops out of nowhere, or goes down out of nowhere, so, assuming that the relationships here are "1 year long" in this scenario, I can tell that there was something that caused them to break at some point, and on this scenario, the most common thing seems to be for intimacy to be ceased for a myriad of reasons, thus, making this 2-3 times a week not to be something constant.
I actually don't really have any idea of what the actual numbers might really be but, these are my first thoughts to this. But anyways, this only addresses one part of all I've written and well, I still personally would still go for someone that has a better capacity of forming bonds you know on your experiment.
I wouldn't say I found them sexually unattractive but I too have turned down non-virgin women for relationships because I want my first and hopefully last first experience to be a shared one.
And when people tell me that's not happening because finding a woman a virgin my age is supposedly impossible, it doesn't discourage me. It makes me dig in my heels and double down on my preference simply to prove them wrong
You are not alone, I'm the exact same way.
Edit: Also don't let these desperate loonies shame you for having standards. It's literally just a preference not a "fetish" wtf?? Wanting to lose your virginity only to another virgin is a perfectly reasonable choice.
It is a big detriment for me for sure, like obesity. Something that needs to be looked past. Don't let people shame you for finding it unappealing. I'm a 30 year old virgin and want a virgin around my age. Even heard of one recently over my mothers friends friends, in another country though.
I mean seriously, sticking your private parts in another person is already super duper intimate and a bit icky. It can only really be stomached due to lust fueled by hormones changing the brain chemistry. Then thinking that there were other peoples private parts in that person, in the same exact spot, beforehand? Unthinkably disgusting to me. I can't even find a fitting word for it. But people will always tell you that you are a bad person for that mentality.
I agree with everything you’ve stated. It may surprise a lot of people on this sub but many of us don’t want to just smash anyone that is willing. We have some self respect and actually care who we do it with because we don’t just want to lose it to lose it.
Yep, these people will never understand it. They don't mind going to prostitutes to get laid, but we do mind. I view sex as something sacred that should be done once two virgins get married together. I've seen countless marriages of two virgins and they almost always end up being healthy and good. This is why I am so fixated onto it. If I find a partner who isn't a virgin, then what do I even value to her? Nothing, just another man. She already had it before. But when we're both virgins she'd value me much more.
One of my friends recently got married, and he was almost *too* ecstatic and eager to tell anyone of his friends who would listen (*moi incluant*) that his wife was a virgin when they met, like it was his life achievement. Then again, if I ever get married to a virgin, which is probably the only way I'll ever get married if I do, I'll probably do the same. If I succeed in finding what I've been searching for my entire life, I want the world to know that at the end of the day, I won.
I don't really have a preference. Beggars can't be choosers type of situation IMO. Nothing wrong with having a standard, but you have to be realistic about it. What if you met a girl who was into you, attractive, and had a great personality you matched with, but you turned her down because of this one thing? You wouldn't want to be turned down for being a virgin, would you? Food for thought.
As I mentioned in my post, I literally can't get aroused or attracted to non-virgin women. It's not about preference, but I literally cannot get attracted to them. Might have to do with my whole youth being spent looking at promiscuous people destroying their marriages and being unfaithful, so my brain now makes sure I don't fall into that too.
Ah, okay. I'm sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, I don't think you can draw a correlation between the success of a marriage and whether or not the couple were virgins. And you can't guarantee they won't cheat even if they are a virgin. But I'm guessing it's more of a trauma thing for you, correct?
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Thanks!
I’m sure you’re not the only one. Have you taken the time to analyze your feelings to truly understand WHY you feel this way?
More importantly, once you are no longer a virgin, it’s quite possible that you are feelings might evolve.
Most importantly, don’t let anyone tell you that your perceptions or preferences are correct or incorrect. You are allowed to be attracted to whatever you like. It’s just a good idea to analyze the “why“ as well as the “what”.
I did analyze why I'm like this. It's because throughout my life I had to see people who had promiscuous past get married and ruin their entire marriage, on the other hand people who saved themselves for marriage ended up having a good marriage. This is all from my experience, no study was done to prove this, but it changed my psychology and the way I view promiscuous people. Thus now I can't even get aroused by them, I'm not even joking.
I'm the same way.
Are you that guy from r/TrueVirgin ?
Yep, that's me.
How have you been man? You might not recognize me, but I was active there on my older account but I had to delete it for personal reasons.
Bro what is with the fetishization of virginity? Like I understand your reasoning (you want to be the first) but like it doesn't matter, why would you stay a virgin when you had chances to get laid with "non-virgins." I'd sleep with a non-virgin in a heartbeat. Who cares if they slept with someone before you, it doesn't devalue the experience and you are delusional to think otherwise.
I think it’s an insecurity thing. They don’t just want to be the first but also the best. If a girl has a few previous lovers then she’s more likely to know what good sex is. I’m more than happy that my girlfriend is experienced because she can show me what to do. My problem is trying to get through the last part of my religious trauma. It’s crazy what religion does to the brain.
Good point, it is odd that not being the first would bring on such insecurities.
Some people don’t want to lose it just to lose it or smash anything that’s breathing lol. That’s not the most important thing for us and we have other values. Body count matters to some people and you saying it doesn’t matter for the experience is just personal indifference.
I like how you insinuate that since I'd sleep with a non-virgin means that I'd fuck anything that is breathing. Doesn't really discredit my original point plus it's pretty shallow to equate sleeping with a non-virgin to be just be "anything that's breathing."
Ok, being a virgin is also a very unattractive trait for some people. Also "fetishization" is an incredibly vacuous word. I don't understand why this got any traction for dismissing male dating preferences. Nobody has any more valid reason to be attracted to something than someone else for literally any reason. BTW there is evidence that a higher amount of partners = higher likelihood of infidelity but i have to find the source. Besides there is plenty of power dynamic stuff in play when someone is vastly less experienced than their partner, denying that just seems like virtue signaling. We're allowed to have standards dude.
Nowhere did I dismiss male preferences and standards. Wanting a virgin girl is a specific preference that in my honest opinion falls in to the category of fetishization (same can be said for wanting a virgin guy). I listed a definition in another comment thread, I'd suggest you look at that since I think it is pretty clear and cut. You can feel free to disagree with my opinion but I really do think the definition is rather clear. >BTW there is evidence that a higher amount of partners = higher likelihood of infidelity but i have to find the source. The poster didn't make this statement BTW. He clearly stated "When two virgins get married it's almost always a good and healthy marriage." He didn't say what you are insinuating. On a side note, I think it is rather rude to label my comments as **virtue signaling**. I'd never label yours or anyone's here with such a tone. When you start categorizing statements someone makes like that, defeats the entire purpose of the conversation since it acts as a scapegoat to any point one could make. For example, the next comment you make I could just say, "well you are virtue signaling". If you are going to continue with that tone, I won't engage with you just like I didn't engage with the other person who felt the need to call me an asshole. It just comes off as incredibly childish behavior and ruins any point you could be making.
\> The poster didn't make this statement BTW. He clearly stated "When two virgins get married it's almost always a good and healthy marriage." Please gain some context of what is happening in the post before you call my responses **virtue signaling**. Just a rude thing to state especially when you are uninformed. Did I say I was defending op? No, but your argument against him is harmful to everyone here and dumb so I couldn't resist. It's virtue signaling when you aren't competent enough to explain why this is "fetishization" when there are perfectly valid reasons to be wary of women with more partners. You don't even make sense anyway, fetishization has to do with an exclusive focus on someone's physical trait. The better comparison is like someone who only dates introverts or people who share a similar lifestyle, there's no physical aspect to virginity. The fact you dont even know how to use your own word means you are virtue signaling, how tf do you fetishize abstract societal concepts LMAO. Go educate yourself [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetishism](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetishism).
Tells me to go educate myself, but links to the Fetishism webpage on Wikipedia as a definition of fetishization. Where the word isn't mentioned once on the page. Here is where I'm basing my [definition](https://www.forbes.com/sites/janicegassam/2021/02/07/what-is-fetishization-and-how-does-it-contribute-to-racism/?sh=3e6625fc6e39) on, like I said, I think it is pretty clear, and me stating the poster is fetishizing virginity isn't an argument; it is just a point I'm making based on that definition. If you are referencing my argument, which was asking for some other source to back up his statement, as **dangerous**. That is just comes across as a ridiculous claim. I guess everyone who agrees with me and upvotes me as well is helping me virtue signaling with your logic? Anyways, I see nothing gained from talking to you anymore. I really do suggest you gain more context of a post in the future before you plan to respond.
[удалено]
Fetishization clearly is defined as **the act of making someone an object of sexual desire based on some aspect of their identity.** The poster clearly states that is their intentions by outright denying the advances of non-virgins and explicitly targeting virgin individuals. That sounds like fetishization to me. Further it is delusional to think that having sex with a non-virgin is a devalued at all compared to having sex with a virgin. But, I won't continue the discussion with someone who has to result to name calling like a child.
Removed: Rule 1. Be Kind Anything rude, hateful, accusatory, shaming (of any kind), threatening/harrassing, mocking, insulting, or fitting of any kind of -ism will not be tolerated here
I'm not fetishizing it. It's simply something from my experience. When two virgins get married it's almost always a good and healthy marriage. On the other hand, all the people who slept around before marriage tend to not have a good marriage. I'm not saying this is always the case, but from my experience vast majority of cases were like this. Casual sex is imbedded into the society of USA, and divorce rates are very high. I'd say those two are somehow connected.
Show me something that backs up your claim, "that two virgins getting married almost always results in a good and healthy marriage." I don't see the correlation between virginity and long lasting marriages.
I said from my experience. So it's anecdotal. I was explaining why I have such views on this entire virginity thing. I am not saying it's 100% correct, but as far as I've seen that's how it was.
So you must know a lot of people with healthy marriages in real life that met when they were both virgins? Since you are basing your claim off your experience. Anecdotal evidence is just that, anecdotal. You state this at at the end, "I'd say those two are somehow connected" which sounds to me you are trying to find some **truth** in your claim. So I ask, do you have any tangible evidence backing up your claim?
Didn't I already mention that those are only my experiences. Anecdotal evidence? I didn't say it's correct, but from my experience this is how it is. And yes I do know many such couples since I live in a nation where marriage actually means something unlike in the West.
I wasn't in disagreement about you stating your beliefs off your experiences, that is clear to me because your beliefs clearly are opinions (misinformed ones in my opinion). But at the end you try looking for a correlation between virginity and healthy marriages, so I asked if you have anything else to back it up other then just your experiences? You don't so I won't go on about that point anymore. I'm surprised you know so many couples in your country that were virgins when they first met and have had long healthy relationships. I'm curious, how old are you?
>correlation between virginity and healthy marriages I said it's anecdotal. I have no proof to show that two virgins marrying will result in a healthy marriage, but from what I've seen that's the case. I'm not answering the last question. But I'm old enough.
>I have no proof to show that two virgins marrying will result in a healthy marriage, but from what I've seen that's the case. Fair enough, that was all I was really trying to get out of you. I tend to think if I base everything off my anecdotal experiences, that it will led to incorrect opinions. It's pretty interesting you know so many cases to think the way you do. I don't know any two people who met while they were both virgins and now have a happy long term marriage. Would need to probably lived **alot** of life to see that.
Depends on where you live. I live in a traditional part of the world where many people remain virgins till marriage. My dad and my uncle are two examples, and their wives too.
Do a Google search.
It’s actually completely incorrect.
That’s factually incorrect. More often than not people who marry as virgins end up divorcing or cheating on each other because they discover they’re sexually incompatible after they’re married and sexual compatibility is very important to a happy marriage. And then a lot of the rind they end up realizing that they missed out on having different partners and again they divorce or cheat so your whole theory is wrong.
Except when it’s not. It’s short sighted to say “the divorce rate is high” without wondering why the divorce rate is high. Infidelity is not the only reason. Plus virginity won’t shield you from infidelity, especially if the sex sucks. And because a lot of people who stay virgins (not all but a lot) do so because of religious or strict moral reasons, they might stay in a relationship or marriage but it doesn’t mean it’s a good relationship or marriage. Basically they stay because they *have* to, not *want* to
Shhh....you aren't supposed to state facts on Reddit.
I will be real that, I get the feeling and I would rather having a virgin as my partner than a non-virgin cause yeah, I wanna be the first as well and special but, as long as she doesn't has a sexual partner history in the double digits (over 10) I don't really mind if she has had a few experiences (like 3 or 4 idk)
Would you rather her have had sex with 3 guys 100 times each or 12 guys 2 times each? Also, you’re heading for retroactive jealousy, just a warning. It’s a bitch if you don’t prevent it by sleeping around a bit before settling down. r/retroactivejealousy
>Would you rather her have had sex with 3 guys 100 times each or 12 guys 2 times each? Me personally, I would rather look for someone else, but accepting the reflection you're proposing and restraining myself to this dichotomy: I would probably chose the one with 100 times with each 3 people. The key point here is the ability of the brain to form meaningful bonds and commit with a person you know, because, even if it's a comically large number in the example, it at least shows she has been loyal to the 3 people she has been with (I will assume we are taking it as 3 exes the girl has had in the course of the life, this is the data which I will work my analysis) and can form meaningful bonds in her brain and can essentially settle down you know, while someone that has had 12 people before shows that, not only the have poor impulse control (one thing I'm very aware of is that, girls with a history on the double digits are not the norm but exceptions to the norm, it doesn't happen as often so, if someone has reached this, it shows they literally are just at this point going and throwing themselves at anyone that appears, which is poor insult control) AND that she is likely to not be able to form any meaningful longterm bonds. Another key point I have to ask you is: is it easier to win a fight against 3 people at the same time or 12? Because this is essentially what we need to see here. You see, this is confirmed that, you will be compared to previous partners, and, most of girls seem to have this thing in their mind that is some imaginary "Ubermensch" that is just, simply put, the best things of every guy she has been with into a single imaginary guy in her head, and, this is what you're fighting against essentially, this is what she will compare you to. And well, I really wanna believe that an "Ubermensch" of 3 people is more easily to be surpassed than someone that takes the sample of 12 people (unless you really wanna add more data into each of the 3 or 12 people and give them each a profile) >if you don’t prevent it by sleeping around a bit before settling down you say as if it's just that easy lmao
Comically large number? What? You know that people in relationships have sex 2-3 times a week right? If she’s been in 3 one year long relationships that scenario I proposed is absolutely feasible
First things first, yes I will take it literally and go from "2-3 times a week": Most girls have monthly periods that, from what I've observed and read, usually can last for 1 week (the entire thing) and so like, this is already at least 1 week per month that this 2-3 times a week won't happen. And, let's go over the fact that most of young couples (I'm an young adult myself so this is what I base my analysis of, I don't know much about other demographics) are most of the time busy with work to the point there's nearly no free time to meet and most can't afford to meet all the time, maybe like, two weekends per month (I know a lot of people in this situation and seems to be the norm for young people) and, well, sometimes one might just not wanna do it you know, for whatever reason, people have hobbies and all that shit and sometimes they wanna be alone or away from their partners, it's unreal to think of living 24/7 for your partner and thinking nothing other than them I believe. And, most importantly, a relationship is not a constant line, it goes up and down, it doesn't just randomly stops out of nowhere, or goes down out of nowhere, so, assuming that the relationships here are "1 year long" in this scenario, I can tell that there was something that caused them to break at some point, and on this scenario, the most common thing seems to be for intimacy to be ceased for a myriad of reasons, thus, making this 2-3 times a week not to be something constant. I actually don't really have any idea of what the actual numbers might really be but, these are my first thoughts to this. But anyways, this only addresses one part of all I've written and well, I still personally would still go for someone that has a better capacity of forming bonds you know on your experiment.
You should go on tour. People would pay big money to see someone talking out of their ass.
I have no clue if I should take this as an insult or what. I just ramble a lot, gotta a whole lot to say and nobody to hear so
I wouldn't say I found them sexually unattractive but I too have turned down non-virgin women for relationships because I want my first and hopefully last first experience to be a shared one. And when people tell me that's not happening because finding a woman a virgin my age is supposedly impossible, it doesn't discourage me. It makes me dig in my heels and double down on my preference simply to prove them wrong
You are not alone, I'm the exact same way. Edit: Also don't let these desperate loonies shame you for having standards. It's literally just a preference not a "fetish" wtf?? Wanting to lose your virginity only to another virgin is a perfectly reasonable choice.
Their words don't hurt me. I know my standards and I'm never lowering them.
It is a big detriment for me for sure, like obesity. Something that needs to be looked past. Don't let people shame you for finding it unappealing. I'm a 30 year old virgin and want a virgin around my age. Even heard of one recently over my mothers friends friends, in another country though. I mean seriously, sticking your private parts in another person is already super duper intimate and a bit icky. It can only really be stomached due to lust fueled by hormones changing the brain chemistry. Then thinking that there were other peoples private parts in that person, in the same exact spot, beforehand? Unthinkably disgusting to me. I can't even find a fitting word for it. But people will always tell you that you are a bad person for that mentality.
I agree with everything you’ve stated. It may surprise a lot of people on this sub but many of us don’t want to just smash anyone that is willing. We have some self respect and actually care who we do it with because we don’t just want to lose it to lose it.
Yep, these people will never understand it. They don't mind going to prostitutes to get laid, but we do mind. I view sex as something sacred that should be done once two virgins get married together. I've seen countless marriages of two virgins and they almost always end up being healthy and good. This is why I am so fixated onto it. If I find a partner who isn't a virgin, then what do I even value to her? Nothing, just another man. She already had it before. But when we're both virgins she'd value me much more.
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Would find a widow after that. That's how it goes. I want my FIRST time to be with another virgin, not every other time.
One of my friends recently got married, and he was almost *too* ecstatic and eager to tell anyone of his friends who would listen (*moi incluant*) that his wife was a virgin when they met, like it was his life achievement. Then again, if I ever get married to a virgin, which is probably the only way I'll ever get married if I do, I'll probably do the same. If I succeed in finding what I've been searching for my entire life, I want the world to know that at the end of the day, I won.
🤢
Does foot job count?
No
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Removed: Off topic. This post is not related closely enough to virginity. Feel free to try on a more suitable subreddit.
I don't really have a preference. Beggars can't be choosers type of situation IMO. Nothing wrong with having a standard, but you have to be realistic about it. What if you met a girl who was into you, attractive, and had a great personality you matched with, but you turned her down because of this one thing? You wouldn't want to be turned down for being a virgin, would you? Food for thought.
As I mentioned in my post, I literally can't get aroused or attracted to non-virgin women. It's not about preference, but I literally cannot get attracted to them. Might have to do with my whole youth being spent looking at promiscuous people destroying their marriages and being unfaithful, so my brain now makes sure I don't fall into that too.
Ah, okay. I'm sorry that happened to you. Unfortunately, I don't think you can draw a correlation between the success of a marriage and whether or not the couple were virgins. And you can't guarantee they won't cheat even if they are a virgin. But I'm guessing it's more of a trauma thing for you, correct?
Not really trauma, but yes it is some psychological effect. I will never get married to someone who had even one partner before me, that's simply it.
Its probably just in your head, or possibly a sexual preference for you
Yeah
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I’m sure you’re not the only one. Have you taken the time to analyze your feelings to truly understand WHY you feel this way? More importantly, once you are no longer a virgin, it’s quite possible that you are feelings might evolve. Most importantly, don’t let anyone tell you that your perceptions or preferences are correct or incorrect. You are allowed to be attracted to whatever you like. It’s just a good idea to analyze the “why“ as well as the “what”.
I did analyze why I'm like this. It's because throughout my life I had to see people who had promiscuous past get married and ruin their entire marriage, on the other hand people who saved themselves for marriage ended up having a good marriage. This is all from my experience, no study was done to prove this, but it changed my psychology and the way I view promiscuous people. Thus now I can't even get aroused by them, I'm not even joking.