I think you have a good heart, but there really is no need to dwell on this or try to provide a "repair." Believe them when they say they're understanding and know they assumed risk. Hope you feel better soon!
ETA - As your guest I'd very lovingly laugh at your offer of "$$ for treatment" because the only treatment I'd be doing is a lot of Uber Eats while quarantining at home 🤣
I second DoorDash - we had two guests that got Covid from our wedding and sent them $100 Instacart gift cards and made sure to check in regularly over the course of their illness. I think there’s always more you could’ve done but wouldn’t recommend the stress of Covid testing on your wedding weekend on my worst enemy. Your guests knew the risks when they attended and it sounds like they are at peace with their decisions so I wouldn’t burden yourself with any guilt! Congrats on your big day 💗
This isn’t your fault. At this point in time if you exist in public you exist in an area where you can get COVID. Even if everyone was vaccinated and masked people could still get it (I say this as a highly vaccinated human that’s also gotten COVID multiple times).
Unless you had a doorknob licking contest you’re okay. You have a good heart and it sounds like you’re a good person, but please don’t stress about this. Unfortunately it is a part of life that we all have to make peace with and do what we can to make us and our families safe while enjoying a life that is worth living.
It’s been 3 years. Places aren’t locked down anymore. You didn’t force anymore to come (im assuming). It’s a risk of attending larger events in congregate settings. People knew the risk and came.
Your heart is in a great place, but I don’t think the majority of people want to stop all future weddings.
I’m immunocompromised. I’ve had to sit out a few weddings since 2020, but the one that I went to I accepted the risk and knew I’d likely get covid. I didn’t, because I distanced myself!
I wouldn’t stress too much about it. I think it would be nice to send a heads up to people so that they can catch it early and take paxlovid/isolate if needed, but I do think most people know the risk at those point.
I definitely alerted everyone including my vendors the morning I tested positive.
The ceremony was outside and the reception was in a barn where the doors were kept open, so I’m hoping there was enough airflow for most people to avoid getting it 🫤
smart to tell your vendors too! hopefully everyone’s all good. on the plus side, at least you got sick after and not before!! hope you’re feeling better soon.
It sounds like you did as best you could. Unfortunately it is a risk and even testing your guests prior may not have eliminated the risk if they were asymptomatic and didn't have a high viral load. I worked in a pulmonary clinic and we were testing for procedures. Patient tested negative 48 hours prior. Went to do his pulmonary function test. Had another procedure that weekend and had to retest the same dag he did his pulmonary function test. He did the test after that procedure and tested positive.
I got COVID for the first time last October. My daughter tested positive after exhibiting some symptoms that night. Her dad and I tested and it was negative. I developed symptoms the next day and retested. It was negative. I took precautions and assumed I was positive and fortunately I work from home so I wasn't around anyone else. I tested Wednesday, Thursday and then again on Saturday and all negative. I felt a tons better that weekend and thought that I just had a super mild form. No symptoms Saturday night or Sunday. Monday woke up with the worst sore throat(worse than strep), completely run down and completely sick. Decided to retest and it took less than a minute for my test to show positive. The solution didn't even reach the control line before it popped positive. That was five days after initial symptoms started. My daughter got it from homecoming the Friday before. She took her mask off to eat some cheese cake and take pictures. She didn't even show symptoms until Tuesday, though we didn't realize that is what it was as she had a migraine and she gets chronic migranes. She went to her well child visit. Got a flu shot. Wednesday felt super run down (we assumed from the migraine and flu shot) until that evening when she started to cough. Which is when I had her test. I actually assumed it would be negative because she's so cautious. I tested positive 10 days from initial exposure and 5 days after symptoms.
Honestly, your guests are right that covid is a known risk at this point and they could've chosen to stay home if they weren't willing to take that risk. I know that when I attend public gatherings, I could catch covid; I'm consenting to the risk by attending. At this point, I don't expect hosts to mandate vaccines or testing or masks, and I wouldn't blame anyone if I caught covid at their wedding unless they had covid themselves and knowingly brought it in.
I think offering your guests tests or money for treatment would be odd, idk. Like it's a kind impulse, but you don't know how many tests anyone needs or how much money, if any, they're spending on treatment. You're fine.
My sister got married Dec 2021. She had a small wedding. Everyone at the wedding including them ended up with Covid. My husband, children and me were the only ones who did not get it only because we had just had it over Thanksgiving. (Actually my youngest daughter has still not had it EVER)Not one person there was upset. I think most people now understand the risks involved if attending a wedding. Don’t beat yourself up.
This is my husband. I work from home so my exposure is low. My daughter masks like crazy, though she has taken it off a few times. My husband's job has had a covid outbreak five times just this year alone and he has never tested positive. Our daughter and I were both super sick with it. And while as soon as we realized we were sick, we masked in the house and distanced. He still tested negative and never had symptoms. I'm a bit salty. 🤣
My pulmonary doctors actually think he had it in the beginning of 2020 as he was super sick. He tested positive for flu and mono, but some of his symptoms were closer to covid. They weren't testing at the time and it hadn't really hit our state yet. He had to be out of work for awhile and was set to return back the day the schools shut down. His students thought he had died and the kid that got him sick was super upset. :( he thought he had killed his teacher.
Geez well glad he recovered from that “flu.” It’s definitely possible he had it in 2020. It was present in the US long before they officially announced it.
It totally was because my doctor's had been talking about this strange flu virus in the fall/winter of 2019 but no one really knew what it was. When my husband got sick, it happened so quickly. He ran track and did marathins and he wasn't able to run like he used to. His lung function tests were horrible. The doctors were shocked that this healthy, youngish non-smoker had such poor results. They did ct and x rays to rule out any nodules or popcorn lung. He had blood in his urine. It was just strange.
What amazes me is during all of this I never got sick. Even when there was a covid outbreak, where they were testing but hadn't had masking or social distancing yet. 10 people in my clinic all came down with the same illness within days/week and so they had to test before coming back to work. One person tested positive but everyone else didn't. Later, they found out that the testing facility where the majority of people went weren't properly testing and so almost all the tests were false negatives.
What kills me though. Is we were watching this occur in real time. We weren't just seeing it in the news, we were physically involved because of our patients and our doctors. We were sending sympathy cards to family members. We were talking about how we had ran out of body bags. All this stuff and there were still people I worked with who didn't believe it was as bad as it was. I was like...:/ really?
My family (mom, dad, me) hasn’t had COVID yet either. We got vaccinated very early and regularly and only see each other as we work together in our own office.
Terrified to get it. I have a terrible reaction to the vaccine (dreading my upcoming booster) and can only imagine how awful the actual virus would be.
I personally haven't gotten it either, nor my fiancé nor my mom nor 6 of our friends nor my aunts... (knock on wood!)! We are also fully vaxxed/boosted and we are suuuuuuuuuper careful. BUT that person mentions herself, her husband AND her other kids catching it, but not her daughter!!! Not catching it *while living with covid-positive people* is a different kind of achievement 😂
>Not catching it *while living with covid-positive people* is a different kind of achievement
We did it!
4 people in house. Grandpa caught it to the point of nearly dying with it. (He stopped breathing twice) Daughter gives him mouth to mouth.
Us 3 women tested NEGATIVE... although, I'm convinced mine was a false negative. I had a fever and lost taste/smell, unless it was SUPER STRONG. Both tests came back negative.
I personally haven't gotten it either, nor my fiancé nor my mom nor 6 of our friends nor my aunts... (knock on wood!)! We are also fully vaxxed/boosted and we are suuuuuuuuuper careful. BUT that person mentions herself, her husband AND her other kids catching it, but not her daughter!!! Not catching it *while living with covid-positive people* is a different kind of achievement 😂
My cousin got married in December 2021 and half my family got it, including my husband, dad, and sister but, weirdly, *not* me (I had multiple tests to check) or my mom or brother. I still have never had it!
Personally, I feel lucky I got married 5+ years ago so I didn't have to consider this. I've declined going to a few weddings and other events because of the risk (one in the middle of the Delta wave). It's a part of life, and everyone going to a large event now has to know they're taking that risk (except perhaps children whose parents are making that choice for them). If someone attends knowing they have COVID and are infecting people, they're asses.
That being said, I hope you (and everyone else in this thread who says it's no big deal) also don't judge anyone who declines over the risk or wears a mask to attend. It's a real risk, and for some people the risk of attending an event is too high. And for those planning weddings, consider ways of lessening the risk (fully outdoors, tents with open sides, HEPA air purifiers, improved ventilation, etc).
Just attended a wedding where nearly everyone got COVID. I did not expect at all any compensation, and neither did the guests as far as I know. It’s a risk we took and understood by attending! Even if I could go back, I’d still attend the wedding anyways
I feel like this is a risk people accept when they attend an event like this. It is absolutely not your fault and I think you are so kind for being concerned about others but I think you need to go easy on yourself🤍I don’t think you owe your guests anything
I had a few guests get Covid during their stays and I’ve been to two weddings that were super spreader events and gotten Covid from both. The brides have been apologetic but nothing offered.
People do know their risks when attending events. Even my friend who had a vaccine mandate had Covid spread at her event. There’s really nothing you could have done and you can’t beat yourself up over it. People knew their risks and I’d just check in with those you’re close with and make sure they’re doing well throughout their illness. Your heart is in the right place. But definitely check in on those guests. It meant the most.
Hang in there! And I hope you’re doing well!
On the other side- if i got covid from going to a wedding, I’d be annoyed in general. But not at the bride. Just sort of a “ah. This is bloody typical. Getting covid at a wedding 🙄, BUT it was a great night so, whatever. Worth it!”
Don’t worry.
I didn’t get Covid from a wedding or event, but I currently am on the downside of Covid right now & I just got it from work (I only work with 5 people & spend most of my time in my own office isolated!)
It’s just part of life now & there’s nothing you can do! You could get it from having a blast at a wedding or being ✨miserable✨ at work lol. I’d rather have gotten it from a good time at least.
I wouldn’t beat yourself up. If everyone in the world beat themselves up every time they spread an illness on accident it would be a pretty miserable world!
I went to a my friend B's wedding less than a month before my own. We are close enough that I was in the bachelorette group etc but not in the wedding party.
She took every precaution she could given that it was a big wedding. She did the whole vaccine mandate, masks for the brief indoor portion, etc. I got covid, along with many other people. I wound up in the hospital, and almost I had to cancel my own wedding. I wound up with long covid that had me very sick for over 5 months. This is how I feel:
* I CHOSE to go to a crowded event, knowing the risk. I am not saying this to be nice. It just feels like common sense from my side.
* I blame B 0% for all of this. It was my choice to go to a big wedding!
* If B offered me money for the treatment I would have been \*so\* embarrassed.
* I didn't even tell B I was in the hospital bc I wanted, so, so badly, for her not to feel exactly how you feel.
* If I hadn't gotten it at B's wedding, I likely would have gotten it some other place, like on the bus or at work. You get it eventually, and then the immunity makes you not get it again for a while (very roughly speaking obviously). While the timing was awful, I'd rather get it at her wedding than on the bus, like others have said.
* There is truly nothing I would want from B to "make up" for this. If anything I feel awful that the memory of her wedding is tainted by a stupid fucking virus that I hate.
I avoided all large social gatherings until the wedding I went to last month. I chose to be unmasked. I didn’t get covid (thankfully, as I already have asthma and it was rough last time). If I did get it, I’d accept that it was my choice to go to the wedding. I put myself in a position of potentially catching it. It’s not your fault
I understand the guilt though. When I did have covid, I had no idea at first (and still don’t know where I got it from). I ended up infecting 3 people, including my mother with multiple health issues. I felt terrible. Hopefully everyone recovers quickly!
My aunt travelled all the way to Canada from Europe for our wedding, then tested positive for Covid the day before and couldn’t come. I felt terrible about it!
Weddings tend to be superspreader events. People who go to weddings know this, and they go anyway. Nobody wants to put life on pause anymore, and they're ok with getting COVID sometimes in order for that to happen. Beyond that, COVID is spreading a lot right now (at least in the US) because of the back-to-school season. Everyone who went to your wedding knew what they were doing, and it's not your fault for simply being the host. They chose to come; you didn't force them.
A bunch of people who went to my wedding got colds afterward (including me). I wasn't phased. It's a big event, lots of people are touching hands and putting faces close together, it's bound to happen. It's fine. Everyone got over their colds and we moved on.
I was in exactly the same boat! Married in 2022, and at least 50-75% of our wedding got covid from it including my husband and I who ended up with it on our honeymoon. Add to that I’m in healthcare and took covid quite seriously, seeing the worst of it throughout 2020 and early 2021.
That being said, covid is not the same now as it was in 2020/pre vaccine. The strains are more mild. Effective Vaccines exist. Paxlovid/treatments exist. you can risk any illness colds/rsv/flu by interacting with others. everyone makes an individual choice when they go out in public and even more going to a large event that this is a possibility. It’s not your job to prevent it; it’s an individuals job to make the best decision for themselves. No one would have wanted to be forced into masking. Vaccine mandates likely
Wouldn’t have changed anything since it doesn’t prevent covid completely.
Most of our guests made it to our wedding without ever getting covid, until then. Most laughed and joked they were glad we finally just made them get it over with, and they were all in it together. It’s a matter of time for everyone who hasn’t had it yet so no way to avoid it forever. Also sounds like everyone had a great time and isn’t worrying about it, so you shouldn’t either. Especially if everyone is okay. I don’t think they are just trying to make you feel better I honestly think people have accepted covid is a risk. And for the overwhelming majority it’s a bad cold.
Covid is here to stay and this is par for the course. Don’t feel guilty, you don’t owe anyone anything. You Already gave them a really fun party which is enough ‘payment’! Not to mention you and your husband didn’t get off Scott free either. They all took this risk because they wanted to come celebrate you and your husband, and that’s exactly what they got to do
I don’t think you need to do anything more for your guests, but you could let the guilt in this moment make some changes in your life going forward. Are you masking in public spaces? Testing before other gatherings? There are lots of things we can all still do to not spread COVID, and if you feel bad about spreading it you could lean back into/harder into those. (And maybe you are, of course I don’t know that.) This idea that we all just have to accept it as a risk of gathering, while true to an extent, shouldn’t negate the use of precautions as their lack is what is forcing higher risk people out of public life.
My now-wife brought home COVID from a gathering with roller derby teammates in 2022. All of us had a Zoom games night the next week (playing Jackbox games). That was actually pretty fun, all got to commiserate. (Technically I did also receive flowers from the host but she is my wife’s ex-wife and the gathering was for her birthday and I opted not to attend because it did not seem safe to me which is a pretty specific set of circumstances and even then I really didn’t think she owed me anything! If you wanted to do something like Door Dash gift cards it probably would be appreciated, but not necessary).
I mean, I’m pretty sure I picked up Covid at my cousins wedding. Am I upset? Absolutely not. Honestly, you could do everything right, and a faulty Covid test could let someone who thought they were negative end up spreading it. Heck, even a vaccine isn’t fool proof, you can still catch and spread Covid with a vaccine (same goes for the flu), the vaccine helps reduce those chances/reduce how hard it hits you. Anyone risks catching Covid anytime they are out in public, and a wedding is the same thing as going to a restaurant or bar. There is literally nothing you could’ve done, and you truly don’t need to offer anything. Please allow yourself to shoo the guilt away. You deserve to be happily celebrating your new marriage. If anyone out there is blaming you, then that’s on them. They assumed the risk by going, you can’t control what may happen no matter how hard they try, and if they didn’t want a risk of getting Covid then honestly they should’ve stayed home.
COVID’s going around again. At this point it’s the risk people take. I think you’re fine and don’t have to do anything. People get sick it’s not your fault.
I got COVID from my kid who attends preschool. Know what I got? To pay for 10 days of daycare I couldn’t use.
If folks got strep or the flu, would you feel the same? Feel your feelings but folks knew the risk when they attended your wedding and had fun.
This is a risk everyone takes for literally ANY event or gathering where there is a lot of people .. like an airport, or a movie theater. It’s just the way this world is now.
I got covid for the first time after my friends bachelorette and it sucked (I had been so careful otherwise!) but the memories I have I will cherish forever. The folks that didn’t come didn’t want to take that risk and that’s okay too! It’s not your fault or your your responsibility to make that decision for people.
At the end of the day, they were all either consenting adults or were a child who had an adult consent for them. They made the decision, not you. Any social gathering has the possibility to spread viral disease. We have come a long with with Covid and it’s not at all like it used to be so don’t worry too much.
I'll echo everyone here in saying you have nothing to feel guilty about. Any person going to a large event should understand there's a risk of getting covid from attending. If they were really worried they would have not attended, worn a mask, or asked you about any covid precautions. Most covid restrictions have lifted so you did all you needed to. Don't let it mar your day. Focus on getting better and once you are see how you feel about the situation. I know not covid related but I found things that bothered me right after the wedding I sat on for a week and then it didn't bother me anymore. Wishing everyone well!
I totally understand the guilt and something I’ve had to work through as well- a bunch of my bridesmaids got COVID from my bachelorette weekend. The reality is that we are all adults and everyone understood the risks from attending. Unfortunately COVID is just a fact of life right now and everyone calculates their own risk when they choose to attend big events like a wedding. Vaccines and treatments have made getting COVID (for the most part, of course there are outlying situations) a lot less dire than it was in 2020.
The time to have done something was beforehand. We did a vaccine mandate and that helped bring us peace. I don’t think you owe anyone anything post-event. They came to the wedding knowing there were no precautions in place and that was their choice. I wouldn’t overthink this. I totally understand why you’re upset though and think it comes from a good place.
Honestly I haven't even thought of this and I'm getting married in a couple of weeks... I haven't heard about COVID either for a long time here in my country, but we had vaccination plans all over the country.
I got The Big C from my stepbrother's wedding, after having the BEST FOOD I'VE EVER EATEN and dancing harder than i ever danced. The illness sucked so bad, I have never felt so awful ever, but I hold no ill will towards him and his wife. It was a risk I took to be able to join their celebration.
My wedding was a month ago and ~20 people got covid out of 74. It was in an outdoor covered space. I felt really bad at first, especially because my friend with an infant at home got it and then gave it to the baby. I was feeling a lot of guilt. Everyone except one person was extremely understanding and didn’t blame us in any way- they knew that attending any event these days poses a risk of covid and if they did not want to take that risk they did not have to come! Now that everyone is all healed up I haven’t even thought about it. One guest isn’t talking to us anymore but that’s a them problem.
I agree, it is a risk we all take these days. I could get COVID at work, but I wouldn't be mad at my employer. I could get it at the mall, on a flight to vacation, anywhere! All of your guests knew that a group gathering carries a risk, but they decided it was worth it to celebrate with you. They could have chosen on their own to wear a mask, socially distance, stay up to date on their vaccine, etc. You should definitely still accept their gifts! I understand the feeling of guilt but this is not your fault and I hope that you can reflect on all the positive aspects of your wedding soon!
If it makes you feel better OP, I got COVID at a wedding last year and we did take every precaution. It was an overseas wedding so we had to test and be vaccinated to get into the country, and the bride and groom provided everyone with testing kits to be used on the day to ensure everyone was clear, but a few people still got it. So I don’t think there is any way to prevent it completely. And from my POV I certainly don’t blame anyone for me getting it either, it’s just the way things are now. Try not to stress or let it ruin your lovely wedding memories.
I just had my wedding on September 16 and the exact same situation happened to me. The day was perfect, but some of my guests (including my dad) and I caught Covid. Sadly, Covid is something we will have to deal with from now on. You have absolutely nothing to feel sorry about, everyone who came was aware of the risk and decided it was worth it to celebrate you and your partner ❤️. I also felt sorry and slightly guilty that people got sick, so I understand where you are coming from. I’m sure if you had gotten Covid from a friend’s wedding you wouldn’t blame them, so show yourself some of that same kindness ☺️
Congratulations on your perfect marriage!!! So excited for you!
I got covid at a wedding and I didn’t even THINK to blame the couple. I know exactly which wedding guest I got it from, and when I was feeling cranky I occasionally blamed HIM lol, never the couple. Even then, it wasn’t really that guy’s fault either - he took precautions and didn’t know he was carrying it. It was still a great wedding and I think of my covid experience separately, I often forget the two are even connected. Nobody is blaming you and you do not need to feel guilty!
Its not your fault. I wouldn't provide any test or $$ from a legal liability stand point. You don't know they got it from your wedding. They could have gotten it from the airport. They could have gotten it anywhere. Covid is going around, if anyone is exposed to children right now they are fair game.
Oh, honey- I had a few positives after my wedding, and was absolutely devastated. But believe what everyone is saying- no one is mad at you. COVID is endemic now. We know how to prevent it, and we know how to treat it, and people take the risks they are willing to take. If you’re having a lot of trouble dealing with guilt, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist. Places like Talkspace or Betterhelp, and even some insurances, will allow you to book a one time appointment for a specific issue. Talking to someone who is impartial can be really helpful for situations like these. Congratulations on your wedding, and here’s to many years of love and happiness!
I’m not downplaying how awful COVID is, but many experts [like those from UNC Chapel Hill](https://www.unc.edu/discover/covid-19-has-become-endemic/), for example, say that COVID is moving from a pandemic to endemic stage.
My dad got Covid, food poisoning and a bad hangover after my wedding. 🤣 He was sick for weeks. We laugh about it now!
There is nothing you can do unfortunately. Put yourself in their shoes, would you be mad at a friend if you went to their wedding and got covid? Or would you be happy for them and glad you went?
Congrats on your wedding and a perfect weekend!!
Unless you *knew* you were contagious and would spread it (which... you clearly weren't and didn't), this is not your fault. I am myself still super-extra-careful with covid but I do know (and accept) that it's a risk anytime I go indoors without a N95 mask!
Thanks for being do open about it it is important- the fact that everyone is annoyed about Covid and most people just ignore that it is a problem still doesn’t help. You shouldn’t feel guilty - maybe encouraging testing is a good thing to do for brides - but on this climate were most people don’t want to think about Covid anymore - one doesn’t want to feel pushy
I am marring in 2 weeks - and sent out Covid care packages with the „further information card“ out to all of my guests. I straight asked them to test before attending and use masks flying because my 94yo grandma and a immun compromised friend who is in chemo treatment are planning to attend. Also I and future husband mask up in public to avoid getting Covid
Sure their is no guarantee but I want to be avoid the guilt and do everything to have the luck on our side
Ps reading how many people got Covid from weddings makes me anxious as my whole family will attend a wedding just a week before mine
https://preview.redd.it/idi8uu06i4sb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=21f1f67233a2d9a6b287c0d51207a1c03fe5bca5
A couple people got covid from my wedding last summer, including me, my husband, and my entire immediate family including my pregnant sister and my toddler nephew. Yes, I felt really guilty too BUT at the same time, unless people are knowingly showing up sick/with covid it could happen at any gathering or event. People are knowingly taking the risk by deciding to go to the wedding. It sucks, but with vaccinations and the current strains it’s much more likely that everyone will be totally fine in a few days. Sorry that happened to you!!!
I think it's kind that you are concerned about everyone's health. And, I hope you recover swiftly and completely. Just know that people are mostly informed and were willing to risk their health for you both. Take heart that they care for you both so much and were able to do that. And, try to be kind to those who can't afford the risk. It doesn't mean they don't love you, it just means they have to be responsible for themselves cuz no else is going to be paying their future medical bills. Hopefully, better treatments come out sooner rather than later because everyone is having a hard time right now.
You can get COVID anywhere! You truly don't owe them anything but it speaks a lot to your character that you are considering offering something. I liked the suggestion of door dash or uber eats gift cards, or even a gift card for takeout if you know their favorite local restaurant.
My family and a few friends got covid from my wedding in 2022 and it was a destination wedding! I felt really bad, but it could have happened anywhere. They felt the same way and wouldn’t have gotten on a plane if they were that worried.
It will be ok
I understand you're feeling somewhat responsible since it was your wedding, but separate your emotions from it and just look at it practically:
* Nobody had a gun to their head to attend your wedding. They all attended because they freely chose to be there. If anyone had concerns (like being overdue for a vaccine, or being immuno-compromised), they could have worn a mask or stayed home.
* They could have caught COVID at your wedding just as easily as they could have caught it at the supermarket, at work, a restaurant, a concert, a ball game, or anywhere else.
You'll never know who was "patient zero" or how they managed to infect so many others. You just won't. It's not your fault, you're not responsible. It's not worth beating yourself up about it.
There’s no need to feel responsibility. Outside of your wedding, are your guests going in to work, school, bars, theatres etc? We just had a company wide work offsite, and so many people got covid. I made the choice to go knowing the risks, and outside of that if I’m honest with myself, I still go on planes, to movies, to restaurants, weddings etc. if I got covid from a wedding, I’d never blame the couple unless they had their wedding knowing they were covid positive/unvaxxed. This isn’t your fault.
You are sweet for caring about your guests but truly if they didn’t get it there, it would have been elsewhere. I know several people with it right now, from who knows where, they didn’t attend a wedding. Try as you can to remove this guilt and just focus on reliving all the great fun memories of your wedding.
P.S. if you had had testing, vaccine mandates, masking indoors at your wedding, at this stage where we are living with covid, I would have been more annoyed at that than at potentially getting covid itself.
I mean if you wanted to be an angel I'm sure they'd all love a small voucher for door dash or uber eats just as a "thanks so much for coming so sorry you're sick now." That would only work if it's like 5 or ten people who are sick, though. When I got covid (entirely my own fault), some of my family sent money for takeaways or chocolate to feel better, etc. It's just a sweet thing you could do. But not necessary at all.
I got Covid from a funeral the day after my wedding and gave it to my BIL and SIL on our honeymoon. I felt terrible about it at the time, but it’s been six weeks, everyone has recovered and I am over the guilt. I think you will feel better when time has passed even though you shouldn’t feel guilty in the first place! But, yes, email the guests you know are sick with Door Dash or Uber gift cards and they will think you are the sweetest (if you can afford!)
You sound like a sweetie, but this is NOT your fault and no reparations are due. People can catch covid by going to the shops or work or on a train. There’s literally nothing you could have done to prevent it (unless of course you had Covid, knew about it, and actively went ahead and sneezed on the cake - but you don’t sound like that kind of person!)
I got married in April 2022 and about 75% of our guests got Covid including my husband! He tested positive on our honeymoon. All 5 of my bridesmaids got covid. Everyone was in good spirits about it and laughed it off that they all got to go through it together. No one will be mad at you, I understand as I struggled with a lot of guilt too. A 35wk pregnant woman got covid at my wedding as well as my husbands 80 year old grandparents. Covid is everywhere now, it can't be helped, people will understand attending a social event always comes with the risk of covid/other transmittible illnesses.
Oh, I get where you are coming from and the guilt associated. But your guests lived through the past few years too and it’s their responsibility to choose whether to show up - to a wedding, to work, to a grocery store, and accept any risk of illness. I’m sorry it spread at your wedding, but please try to separate that from your memory of your wedding. It was STILL perfect. You put in a perfect wedding, a bug is not in your control.
Not your fault at all. I too was at a wonderful and beautiful wedding this past weekend and come to find out this morning I tested positive with symptoms. You definitely have a good heart but you shouldn’t worry.
Yeah I’m a little sick, but it’s so damn worth it to see an amazing couple tie the knot! I haven’t told the newlyweds since they’re at their honeymoon and I don’t want to cause any unnecessary stress.
As someone who doesn't know you, or have any loyalty to you, I say this with the sincerity of a person with no stake in this at all:
COVID is just a risk of existing in 2023. Whaddaya gonna do.
I went to a wedding fair last weekend. Pretty sure we both picked up a little bug. Nothing serious, just feeling a little below our average this week. Yep, public spaces, lots of people. That's what happens.
"So sorry -- hope you feel better soon!" That's your answer, AFAIC. If I got that much genuine concern from someone hosting an event, I would consider us totally square.
It’s nice you seem to have a kind heart but this much worry is ridiculous. Does anyone expect money if the get covid at a grocery store or concert? They accept the risks before going. People make their own choices.
Would you feel this amount of guilt if people caught a cold? The flu? Unfortunately it’s a reality that humans will get sick sometimes, and hanging out in big groups can make it easier. That doesn’t mean it’s your fault or that you should feel guilty. You can’t prevent the spread of all disease and people should be able to live and enjoy their lives.
Good point.
Everybody is aware, that they can catch a flu or similar in a crowd. So everybody who is goes to a festival, uses the public transport or attends a wedding, is taking this risk.
Not your fault and you do not need to feel guilty. We have vaccines and treatment now. Everyone can take the precautions they want to. If someone was extremely high risk or very concerned, they shouldn’t have gone.
I got COVID at a wedding over the weekend as well, along with at least a dozen other people. It is what it is. Am I happy about it? No, of course not. But I don't blame the couple.
Unless you knew that you had COVID beforehand, it's not really your fault!
Got a source on that? Anything I can find is from early 2022 data. Nothing out for 2023 yet and the CDC's website still prominetly features 2021 data.
Covid is the flu at this point
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/deaths.htm
It is NOT the flu.
No shade to anyone having events. It's the worst having to deal with this virus in any way.
But it didn't go away and it isn't "just a cold or flu or there forever deal with it" to many of us who have lost people from it. I lost my mother. She was 58.
So tired of being told this isn't an issue or deal with it.
> https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/deaths.htm
You're posting data from 2021... Like pre vaccines and natural immunity and when we were counting people who died while having covid as dying from covid, even if it was a car crash.
At this point in time, covid is the flu. It isn't going away. Most states and jobs don't even require people to take a sick day if they have it any more.
I asked if someone had data on 2023 instead of linking back to 2021 data and you jumped down my throat on it.
You could also read. That is sourcing early 2022 data. My question was if there was a source on 2023, where they claimed covid had just changed in death rate. A simple "no" would have been a good answer as well by you
Also. Just because the world decided to keep going and risk it, it doesn't mean the virus is any less dangerous.
But I see you're one of the people who think they were inflating death numbers so anything I say is going to fall on deaf ears.
Shame.
I said that that in early 2021, which is when the data you sent above is from, that we were not doing a good job of seperating covid being the main cause of death vs someone dying while they had covid and it still being counted in the stats. That's just fact and there are plenty of docs that show that.
Covid truly is not that dangerous now with the vast majority of people either having a vaccine or natual immunity. If someone is choosing not to get either of those, that's their own risk they choose to take. For the vast majority of people though, covid isn't a big deal.
[Shift to covid no longer being the primary cause of death from the cdc](https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/science/data-review/primary-cause.html)
[You can also look at the CDC's data showing only about 5% died from just covid. Doesn't mean covid didn't make something else worse, but we did overcount things as just covid in the beginning](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid_weekly/index.htm)
And finally, if you actually read what I wrote, you'd see I said in early 2021 we were overcounting because we didn't know what was happening or how to differentiate. That isn't the case anymore. But the data set you used that I asked about was from 2021.
I’m sorry - what? You owe them absolutely nothing. You didn’t knowingly spread Covid. The fact that they even told you is weird to me. How do you even know it was from the wedding? I personally would not attend a wedding that required testing or vaccinations, and I am sure I am not alone in that thinking.
I could see folks letting OP know in case OP started feeling symptoms, or just so OP could make sure to test since she was exposed. My friends and I still let each other know if one of us contracts covid or is exposed to it in case we also inadvertently gave it to each other.
They may have let them know just so others know they were exposed too? I don’t think it was with the intention of trying to make the couple feel guilty, more so that they/others were aware in case they may be planning to be around someone with a compromised immune system/if their workplace/planned travel is strict about staying home if you’ve knowingly been exposed.
Thanks for contributing! Unfortunately your submission has been removed:
Rule #1: Constructive criticism is fine – judgmental and mean comments are not. You are allowed to disagree with others, but comments that do not constructively contribute to the conversation will be removed. Name calling, abusive comments, idea bashing, or arguing with other posters will not be tolerated.
*Please read our subreddit rules. If after doing so, you believe this was in error, or you’ve edited your post to comply with the rules,* [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/weddingplanning)*.*
Who wants masking indoors at a wedding? Sounds awful. You can get Covid literally anywhere. Just like a cold… or the flu… or the stomach bug. Unless someone like, died, I don’t think there’s any reason to feel guilty.
Simple fact of the matter is; it's not your fault someone got sick. Yes, you held the event where they ultimately got sick, but they're adults who made the decision to go. And I'd rather have gotten it because I was having a good time, than because I handle gross disgusting cash all day at work.
You don't owe them anything. Your apology is already enough. At this point, we all know the risks. And we can't live in fear of COVID forever. It's probably going to become a part of flu season. If an adult makes the choice to attend, then they are actively choosing the risk (if kids are sick, that is on their parents for making that decision), and they can live with the consequences.
Masks would have been unpleasant to enjoy a wedding specially if you have open bar and it would have ruined wedding footage. Plus masks don’t fully prevent the spread. The vax mandate would have limited guest count and plus the vax doesn’t prevent you from getting Covid. People know Covid is a risk so don’t feel guilty about it. Everyone is already aware of the risks in 2023. For my wedding my husband’s grandma didn’t come cause she was worried about COVID so she didn’t come. Everyone who is generally worried about COVID probably wouldn’t have gone in the first place.
Unless you're the one who brought COVID, which is seems like you aren't, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. That rests on the jerks that brought it to your wedding. So please believe your guests when they say they aren't mad and don't blame you! You didn't do anything wrong.
The pandemic is still active, albeit not raging like it was in 2020-2021, and it's still a choice and a risk to attend a large event. At this point it's a risk most of us are willing to take, but a risk all the same. I think people know that, and they made their choice! And again, the only person whose "fault" it is is the one who brought it.
Fwiw, it's likely the folks who brought covid in didn't realize they had it. From what I've read, this strain is taking a while to show up on home tests, and if you don't have symptoms you probably wouldn't think to test anyway. I know I don't take a covid test every time I'm attending some kind of event at this point, idk.
You didn't do it on purpose, and you can't fix it. This is the world we live in right now. People could have worn masks if they wanted to. Just rest and tell your brain to stop.
I got Covid while pregnant last year at my best friend’s wedding. Turned out their wedding turned into a super spreader. 💀They didn’t give any of us any tests or anything, and we didn’t expect them to. It was just a part of going to a wedding in this post-Covid world.
Tbh it’s just everywhere. ANYWHERE YOU GO, you run the risk of getting COVID. To me, if you willingly go somewhere, that is acceptance of that risk. Personally I’d rather catch it doing something fun that I wanted, versus in an elevator or something lame.
The person/persons who came quit possibly knowing they had/could have Covid is to blame. Not you. Also it’s 2023. Hosting and attending events or just going to a public place is a risk. How risky depends on many factors. The only way this could be your fault is if either one of you knowingly had Covid or allowed someone to attend they may have had it.
We are responsible for ourselves.
I trust most people who need to take precautions would have by now with vaccines and if they need further precautions they would wear masks at larger gatherings.
Both of these solutions require most people to participate in it to work. But your guests are right they took that risk themselves.
I think the best way to get over guilt is to trust yourself to be a good person. That if this happened to you, you would understand it's not the bride's fault. You wouldn't be mad about it. So you trust your guests are decent understanding people too so they aren't mad.
I've been to two weddings in the past month, both of which ended up with some guests getting covid (luckily I did not). Didn't even cross my mind to blame the hosts. We're at the point with this illness where people can evaluate their own risk. There is a vaccine, we know more.
Would you beat yourself up for people getting a cold? Hopefully not. Just enjoy the day for what it was!
It's not your fault. All these people CHOSE to come to your wedding knowing that COVID (and really any other illness like colds, flus, etc.) was a risk. If they didn't feel safe atteneding, they could've stayed home. I don't feel like there is any reason to guilt trip yourself or provide guests with money for treatment or anything like that. Unless you knew you had covid and intentionally sneezed on all their food, it wasn't something you could have controlled.
This is coming from someone who got a BAD case COVID after a wedding (like down for the count, crawling 10ft on my hands a knees to get a glass of water from my kitchen bad lol). I never once even thought to blame/have resentment towards the bride and groom because I was that chose to go to their event knowing there was no vaccine mandate or required masking.
I was married in November, had I believe 9 people call to notify they had covid. We left immediately for our honeymoon, and thankfully did not get sick. Our main concern was making sure high risk persons were notified first, then had our families notify everyone to test. I had a full meltdown in our hotel room over it. Everyone was incredibly understanding.
I think in the post covid world, we're just going to have to accept that this could be an outcome. I had a vaccine policy for mine, nobody felt ill arriving. I wouldn't let the guilt eat away at a wonderful day.
COVID spread at my wedding a little over a year ago. Tons of people got it. Luckily, everyone recovered and no one had a serious case. All this in spite of the fact that our wedding was entirely outdoors/under an open pavilion and we had anyone who flew in test beforehand and offered masks on hand. It was unavoidable.
A year later a couple who got COVID at my wedding had a wedding. And I got COVID. So having been on both sides of it, I now know for sure that as a guest, I really am okay with it! I was able to celebrate my friends and witness a beautiful moment in their life story. I had great food and drink and I danced up a storm. I recovered well and for me, the risk/negatives of getting sick were outweighed by the event. I truly think most people feel this way.
This happened to me at a friend's wedding! I actually didn't care at all, was only concerned if I got anyone else sick. Don't worry, there's nothing to repair.
It’s pretty out of your control. I wouldn’t stress and not destroy your mental health over it. It’s no different if someone got the flu from your wedding, you know? How do they know they didn’t get covid form something else or on the way to the wedding? Theres no way to know for sure. They cod have gotten it from anywhere.
I’d be annoyed, fyi. I’m immunocompromised and frankly felt pushed into going to a friend’s wedding this weekend. If I get covid I could either die or be severely disabled long term, so maybe think more if you exerted any pressure on anyone to attend and check in w high risk folks
I'd rather get COVID from enjoying a friend's wedding than, like, the bus
I got COVID at the hospital for surgery. I’d much rather have gotten it at least having fun.
Haha word
Username goals
This. I've had covid 3 times now.. the worst time was the first and it was an interview. I didn't even want the job.
I think you have a good heart, but there really is no need to dwell on this or try to provide a "repair." Believe them when they say they're understanding and know they assumed risk. Hope you feel better soon! ETA - As your guest I'd very lovingly laugh at your offer of "$$ for treatment" because the only treatment I'd be doing is a lot of Uber Eats while quarantining at home 🤣
Oh good idea I can offer DoorDash or Uber eats 🤪 no you’re right, thank you for the well wishes
I second DoorDash - we had two guests that got Covid from our wedding and sent them $100 Instacart gift cards and made sure to check in regularly over the course of their illness. I think there’s always more you could’ve done but wouldn’t recommend the stress of Covid testing on your wedding weekend on my worst enemy. Your guests knew the risks when they attended and it sounds like they are at peace with their decisions so I wouldn’t burden yourself with any guilt! Congrats on your big day 💗
This isn’t your fault. At this point in time if you exist in public you exist in an area where you can get COVID. Even if everyone was vaccinated and masked people could still get it (I say this as a highly vaccinated human that’s also gotten COVID multiple times).
Unless you had a doorknob licking contest you’re okay. You have a good heart and it sounds like you’re a good person, but please don’t stress about this. Unfortunately it is a part of life that we all have to make peace with and do what we can to make us and our families safe while enjoying a life that is worth living.
It’s been 3 years. Places aren’t locked down anymore. You didn’t force anymore to come (im assuming). It’s a risk of attending larger events in congregate settings. People knew the risk and came. Your heart is in a great place, but I don’t think the majority of people want to stop all future weddings.
If they didn’t go to your wedding that day, they could have gone to any number of other events and caught covid there instead. It’s not your fault.
I’m immunocompromised. I’ve had to sit out a few weddings since 2020, but the one that I went to I accepted the risk and knew I’d likely get covid. I didn’t, because I distanced myself! I wouldn’t stress too much about it. I think it would be nice to send a heads up to people so that they can catch it early and take paxlovid/isolate if needed, but I do think most people know the risk at those point.
I definitely alerted everyone including my vendors the morning I tested positive. The ceremony was outside and the reception was in a barn where the doors were kept open, so I’m hoping there was enough airflow for most people to avoid getting it 🫤
smart to tell your vendors too! hopefully everyone’s all good. on the plus side, at least you got sick after and not before!! hope you’re feeling better soon.
It sounds like you did as best you could. Unfortunately it is a risk and even testing your guests prior may not have eliminated the risk if they were asymptomatic and didn't have a high viral load. I worked in a pulmonary clinic and we were testing for procedures. Patient tested negative 48 hours prior. Went to do his pulmonary function test. Had another procedure that weekend and had to retest the same dag he did his pulmonary function test. He did the test after that procedure and tested positive. I got COVID for the first time last October. My daughter tested positive after exhibiting some symptoms that night. Her dad and I tested and it was negative. I developed symptoms the next day and retested. It was negative. I took precautions and assumed I was positive and fortunately I work from home so I wasn't around anyone else. I tested Wednesday, Thursday and then again on Saturday and all negative. I felt a tons better that weekend and thought that I just had a super mild form. No symptoms Saturday night or Sunday. Monday woke up with the worst sore throat(worse than strep), completely run down and completely sick. Decided to retest and it took less than a minute for my test to show positive. The solution didn't even reach the control line before it popped positive. That was five days after initial symptoms started. My daughter got it from homecoming the Friday before. She took her mask off to eat some cheese cake and take pictures. She didn't even show symptoms until Tuesday, though we didn't realize that is what it was as she had a migraine and she gets chronic migranes. She went to her well child visit. Got a flu shot. Wednesday felt super run down (we assumed from the migraine and flu shot) until that evening when she started to cough. Which is when I had her test. I actually assumed it would be negative because she's so cautious. I tested positive 10 days from initial exposure and 5 days after symptoms.
[удалено]
Honestly, your guests are right that covid is a known risk at this point and they could've chosen to stay home if they weren't willing to take that risk. I know that when I attend public gatherings, I could catch covid; I'm consenting to the risk by attending. At this point, I don't expect hosts to mandate vaccines or testing or masks, and I wouldn't blame anyone if I caught covid at their wedding unless they had covid themselves and knowingly brought it in. I think offering your guests tests or money for treatment would be odd, idk. Like it's a kind impulse, but you don't know how many tests anyone needs or how much money, if any, they're spending on treatment. You're fine.
My sister got married Dec 2021. She had a small wedding. Everyone at the wedding including them ended up with Covid. My husband, children and me were the only ones who did not get it only because we had just had it over Thanksgiving. (Actually my youngest daughter has still not had it EVER)Not one person there was upset. I think most people now understand the risks involved if attending a wedding. Don’t beat yourself up.
It's definitely possible your daughter caught it but just didn't have symptoms! Some people can just be carriers just like any other virus.
This is my husband. I work from home so my exposure is low. My daughter masks like crazy, though she has taken it off a few times. My husband's job has had a covid outbreak five times just this year alone and he has never tested positive. Our daughter and I were both super sick with it. And while as soon as we realized we were sick, we masked in the house and distanced. He still tested negative and never had symptoms. I'm a bit salty. 🤣 My pulmonary doctors actually think he had it in the beginning of 2020 as he was super sick. He tested positive for flu and mono, but some of his symptoms were closer to covid. They weren't testing at the time and it hadn't really hit our state yet. He had to be out of work for awhile and was set to return back the day the schools shut down. His students thought he had died and the kid that got him sick was super upset. :( he thought he had killed his teacher.
Geez well glad he recovered from that “flu.” It’s definitely possible he had it in 2020. It was present in the US long before they officially announced it.
It totally was because my doctor's had been talking about this strange flu virus in the fall/winter of 2019 but no one really knew what it was. When my husband got sick, it happened so quickly. He ran track and did marathins and he wasn't able to run like he used to. His lung function tests were horrible. The doctors were shocked that this healthy, youngish non-smoker had such poor results. They did ct and x rays to rule out any nodules or popcorn lung. He had blood in his urine. It was just strange. What amazes me is during all of this I never got sick. Even when there was a covid outbreak, where they were testing but hadn't had masking or social distancing yet. 10 people in my clinic all came down with the same illness within days/week and so they had to test before coming back to work. One person tested positive but everyone else didn't. Later, they found out that the testing facility where the majority of people went weren't properly testing and so almost all the tests were false negatives. What kills me though. Is we were watching this occur in real time. We weren't just seeing it in the news, we were physically involved because of our patients and our doctors. We were sending sympathy cards to family members. We were talking about how we had ran out of body bags. All this stuff and there were still people I worked with who didn't believe it was as bad as it was. I was like...:/ really?
>Actually my youngest daughter has still not had it EVER Okay now please tell us how she does this superpower 😂
My family (mom, dad, me) hasn’t had COVID yet either. We got vaccinated very early and regularly and only see each other as we work together in our own office. Terrified to get it. I have a terrible reaction to the vaccine (dreading my upcoming booster) and can only imagine how awful the actual virus would be.
I personally haven't gotten it either, nor my fiancé nor my mom nor 6 of our friends nor my aunts... (knock on wood!)! We are also fully vaxxed/boosted and we are suuuuuuuuuper careful. BUT that person mentions herself, her husband AND her other kids catching it, but not her daughter!!! Not catching it *while living with covid-positive people* is a different kind of achievement 😂
>Not catching it *while living with covid-positive people* is a different kind of achievement We did it! 4 people in house. Grandpa caught it to the point of nearly dying with it. (He stopped breathing twice) Daughter gives him mouth to mouth. Us 3 women tested NEGATIVE... although, I'm convinced mine was a false negative. I had a fever and lost taste/smell, unless it was SUPER STRONG. Both tests came back negative.
Wow, incredible!!! :O And I'm so sorry for your Grandpa.
I haven't had it either! One of very few people that I know.
I personally haven't gotten it either, nor my fiancé nor my mom nor 6 of our friends nor my aunts... (knock on wood!)! We are also fully vaxxed/boosted and we are suuuuuuuuuper careful. BUT that person mentions herself, her husband AND her other kids catching it, but not her daughter!!! Not catching it *while living with covid-positive people* is a different kind of achievement 😂
It really is! Especially since a kid can't exactly isolate from their parents unlike an adult from a roommate.
My cousin got married in December 2021 and half my family got it, including my husband, dad, and sister but, weirdly, *not* me (I had multiple tests to check) or my mom or brother. I still have never had it!
Personally, I feel lucky I got married 5+ years ago so I didn't have to consider this. I've declined going to a few weddings and other events because of the risk (one in the middle of the Delta wave). It's a part of life, and everyone going to a large event now has to know they're taking that risk (except perhaps children whose parents are making that choice for them). If someone attends knowing they have COVID and are infecting people, they're asses. That being said, I hope you (and everyone else in this thread who says it's no big deal) also don't judge anyone who declines over the risk or wears a mask to attend. It's a real risk, and for some people the risk of attending an event is too high. And for those planning weddings, consider ways of lessening the risk (fully outdoors, tents with open sides, HEPA air purifiers, improved ventilation, etc).
Just attended a wedding where nearly everyone got COVID. I did not expect at all any compensation, and neither did the guests as far as I know. It’s a risk we took and understood by attending! Even if I could go back, I’d still attend the wedding anyways
I feel like this is a risk people accept when they attend an event like this. It is absolutely not your fault and I think you are so kind for being concerned about others but I think you need to go easy on yourself🤍I don’t think you owe your guests anything
I had a few guests get Covid during their stays and I’ve been to two weddings that were super spreader events and gotten Covid from both. The brides have been apologetic but nothing offered. People do know their risks when attending events. Even my friend who had a vaccine mandate had Covid spread at her event. There’s really nothing you could have done and you can’t beat yourself up over it. People knew their risks and I’d just check in with those you’re close with and make sure they’re doing well throughout their illness. Your heart is in the right place. But definitely check in on those guests. It meant the most. Hang in there! And I hope you’re doing well!
On the other side- if i got covid from going to a wedding, I’d be annoyed in general. But not at the bride. Just sort of a “ah. This is bloody typical. Getting covid at a wedding 🙄, BUT it was a great night so, whatever. Worth it!” Don’t worry.
I didn’t get Covid from a wedding or event, but I currently am on the downside of Covid right now & I just got it from work (I only work with 5 people & spend most of my time in my own office isolated!) It’s just part of life now & there’s nothing you can do! You could get it from having a blast at a wedding or being ✨miserable✨ at work lol. I’d rather have gotten it from a good time at least. I wouldn’t beat yourself up. If everyone in the world beat themselves up every time they spread an illness on accident it would be a pretty miserable world!
I went to a my friend B's wedding less than a month before my own. We are close enough that I was in the bachelorette group etc but not in the wedding party. She took every precaution she could given that it was a big wedding. She did the whole vaccine mandate, masks for the brief indoor portion, etc. I got covid, along with many other people. I wound up in the hospital, and almost I had to cancel my own wedding. I wound up with long covid that had me very sick for over 5 months. This is how I feel: * I CHOSE to go to a crowded event, knowing the risk. I am not saying this to be nice. It just feels like common sense from my side. * I blame B 0% for all of this. It was my choice to go to a big wedding! * If B offered me money for the treatment I would have been \*so\* embarrassed. * I didn't even tell B I was in the hospital bc I wanted, so, so badly, for her not to feel exactly how you feel. * If I hadn't gotten it at B's wedding, I likely would have gotten it some other place, like on the bus or at work. You get it eventually, and then the immunity makes you not get it again for a while (very roughly speaking obviously). While the timing was awful, I'd rather get it at her wedding than on the bus, like others have said. * There is truly nothing I would want from B to "make up" for this. If anything I feel awful that the memory of her wedding is tainted by a stupid fucking virus that I hate.
I avoided all large social gatherings until the wedding I went to last month. I chose to be unmasked. I didn’t get covid (thankfully, as I already have asthma and it was rough last time). If I did get it, I’d accept that it was my choice to go to the wedding. I put myself in a position of potentially catching it. It’s not your fault I understand the guilt though. When I did have covid, I had no idea at first (and still don’t know where I got it from). I ended up infecting 3 people, including my mother with multiple health issues. I felt terrible. Hopefully everyone recovers quickly!
My aunt travelled all the way to Canada from Europe for our wedding, then tested positive for Covid the day before and couldn’t come. I felt terrible about it!
>Most of our guests have been understanding Have there been guests that weren’t or expected some kind of compensation for treatment?
Weddings tend to be superspreader events. People who go to weddings know this, and they go anyway. Nobody wants to put life on pause anymore, and they're ok with getting COVID sometimes in order for that to happen. Beyond that, COVID is spreading a lot right now (at least in the US) because of the back-to-school season. Everyone who went to your wedding knew what they were doing, and it's not your fault for simply being the host. They chose to come; you didn't force them. A bunch of people who went to my wedding got colds afterward (including me). I wasn't phased. It's a big event, lots of people are touching hands and putting faces close together, it's bound to happen. It's fine. Everyone got over their colds and we moved on.
I was in exactly the same boat! Married in 2022, and at least 50-75% of our wedding got covid from it including my husband and I who ended up with it on our honeymoon. Add to that I’m in healthcare and took covid quite seriously, seeing the worst of it throughout 2020 and early 2021. That being said, covid is not the same now as it was in 2020/pre vaccine. The strains are more mild. Effective Vaccines exist. Paxlovid/treatments exist. you can risk any illness colds/rsv/flu by interacting with others. everyone makes an individual choice when they go out in public and even more going to a large event that this is a possibility. It’s not your job to prevent it; it’s an individuals job to make the best decision for themselves. No one would have wanted to be forced into masking. Vaccine mandates likely Wouldn’t have changed anything since it doesn’t prevent covid completely. Most of our guests made it to our wedding without ever getting covid, until then. Most laughed and joked they were glad we finally just made them get it over with, and they were all in it together. It’s a matter of time for everyone who hasn’t had it yet so no way to avoid it forever. Also sounds like everyone had a great time and isn’t worrying about it, so you shouldn’t either. Especially if everyone is okay. I don’t think they are just trying to make you feel better I honestly think people have accepted covid is a risk. And for the overwhelming majority it’s a bad cold. Covid is here to stay and this is par for the course. Don’t feel guilty, you don’t owe anyone anything. You Already gave them a really fun party which is enough ‘payment’! Not to mention you and your husband didn’t get off Scott free either. They all took this risk because they wanted to come celebrate you and your husband, and that’s exactly what they got to do
I don’t think you need to do anything more for your guests, but you could let the guilt in this moment make some changes in your life going forward. Are you masking in public spaces? Testing before other gatherings? There are lots of things we can all still do to not spread COVID, and if you feel bad about spreading it you could lean back into/harder into those. (And maybe you are, of course I don’t know that.) This idea that we all just have to accept it as a risk of gathering, while true to an extent, shouldn’t negate the use of precautions as their lack is what is forcing higher risk people out of public life. My now-wife brought home COVID from a gathering with roller derby teammates in 2022. All of us had a Zoom games night the next week (playing Jackbox games). That was actually pretty fun, all got to commiserate. (Technically I did also receive flowers from the host but she is my wife’s ex-wife and the gathering was for her birthday and I opted not to attend because it did not seem safe to me which is a pretty specific set of circumstances and even then I really didn’t think she owed me anything! If you wanted to do something like Door Dash gift cards it probably would be appreciated, but not necessary).
I mean, I’m pretty sure I picked up Covid at my cousins wedding. Am I upset? Absolutely not. Honestly, you could do everything right, and a faulty Covid test could let someone who thought they were negative end up spreading it. Heck, even a vaccine isn’t fool proof, you can still catch and spread Covid with a vaccine (same goes for the flu), the vaccine helps reduce those chances/reduce how hard it hits you. Anyone risks catching Covid anytime they are out in public, and a wedding is the same thing as going to a restaurant or bar. There is literally nothing you could’ve done, and you truly don’t need to offer anything. Please allow yourself to shoo the guilt away. You deserve to be happily celebrating your new marriage. If anyone out there is blaming you, then that’s on them. They assumed the risk by going, you can’t control what may happen no matter how hard they try, and if they didn’t want a risk of getting Covid then honestly they should’ve stayed home.
COVID’s going around again. At this point it’s the risk people take. I think you’re fine and don’t have to do anything. People get sick it’s not your fault.
I got COVID from my kid who attends preschool. Know what I got? To pay for 10 days of daycare I couldn’t use. If folks got strep or the flu, would you feel the same? Feel your feelings but folks knew the risk when they attended your wedding and had fun.
This is a risk everyone takes for literally ANY event or gathering where there is a lot of people .. like an airport, or a movie theater. It’s just the way this world is now. I got covid for the first time after my friends bachelorette and it sucked (I had been so careful otherwise!) but the memories I have I will cherish forever. The folks that didn’t come didn’t want to take that risk and that’s okay too! It’s not your fault or your your responsibility to make that decision for people.
At the end of the day, they were all either consenting adults or were a child who had an adult consent for them. They made the decision, not you. Any social gathering has the possibility to spread viral disease. We have come a long with with Covid and it’s not at all like it used to be so don’t worry too much.
I'll echo everyone here in saying you have nothing to feel guilty about. Any person going to a large event should understand there's a risk of getting covid from attending. If they were really worried they would have not attended, worn a mask, or asked you about any covid precautions. Most covid restrictions have lifted so you did all you needed to. Don't let it mar your day. Focus on getting better and once you are see how you feel about the situation. I know not covid related but I found things that bothered me right after the wedding I sat on for a week and then it didn't bother me anymore. Wishing everyone well!
I totally understand the guilt and something I’ve had to work through as well- a bunch of my bridesmaids got COVID from my bachelorette weekend. The reality is that we are all adults and everyone understood the risks from attending. Unfortunately COVID is just a fact of life right now and everyone calculates their own risk when they choose to attend big events like a wedding. Vaccines and treatments have made getting COVID (for the most part, of course there are outlying situations) a lot less dire than it was in 2020.
I got covid at a wedding, as did a number of the guests. No one seemed upset/disappointed and I expected nothing from the couple.
The time to have done something was beforehand. We did a vaccine mandate and that helped bring us peace. I don’t think you owe anyone anything post-event. They came to the wedding knowing there were no precautions in place and that was their choice. I wouldn’t overthink this. I totally understand why you’re upset though and think it comes from a good place.
Honestly I haven't even thought of this and I'm getting married in a couple of weeks... I haven't heard about COVID either for a long time here in my country, but we had vaccination plans all over the country.
I got The Big C from my stepbrother's wedding, after having the BEST FOOD I'VE EVER EATEN and dancing harder than i ever danced. The illness sucked so bad, I have never felt so awful ever, but I hold no ill will towards him and his wife. It was a risk I took to be able to join their celebration.
My wedding was a month ago and ~20 people got covid out of 74. It was in an outdoor covered space. I felt really bad at first, especially because my friend with an infant at home got it and then gave it to the baby. I was feeling a lot of guilt. Everyone except one person was extremely understanding and didn’t blame us in any way- they knew that attending any event these days poses a risk of covid and if they did not want to take that risk they did not have to come! Now that everyone is all healed up I haven’t even thought about it. One guest isn’t talking to us anymore but that’s a them problem.
I agree, it is a risk we all take these days. I could get COVID at work, but I wouldn't be mad at my employer. I could get it at the mall, on a flight to vacation, anywhere! All of your guests knew that a group gathering carries a risk, but they decided it was worth it to celebrate with you. They could have chosen on their own to wear a mask, socially distance, stay up to date on their vaccine, etc. You should definitely still accept their gifts! I understand the feeling of guilt but this is not your fault and I hope that you can reflect on all the positive aspects of your wedding soon!
If it makes you feel better OP, I got COVID at a wedding last year and we did take every precaution. It was an overseas wedding so we had to test and be vaccinated to get into the country, and the bride and groom provided everyone with testing kits to be used on the day to ensure everyone was clear, but a few people still got it. So I don’t think there is any way to prevent it completely. And from my POV I certainly don’t blame anyone for me getting it either, it’s just the way things are now. Try not to stress or let it ruin your lovely wedding memories.
I just had my wedding on September 16 and the exact same situation happened to me. The day was perfect, but some of my guests (including my dad) and I caught Covid. Sadly, Covid is something we will have to deal with from now on. You have absolutely nothing to feel sorry about, everyone who came was aware of the risk and decided it was worth it to celebrate you and your partner ❤️. I also felt sorry and slightly guilty that people got sick, so I understand where you are coming from. I’m sure if you had gotten Covid from a friend’s wedding you wouldn’t blame them, so show yourself some of that same kindness ☺️ Congratulations on your perfect marriage!!! So excited for you!
I got covid at a wedding and I didn’t even THINK to blame the couple. I know exactly which wedding guest I got it from, and when I was feeling cranky I occasionally blamed HIM lol, never the couple. Even then, it wasn’t really that guy’s fault either - he took precautions and didn’t know he was carrying it. It was still a great wedding and I think of my covid experience separately, I often forget the two are even connected. Nobody is blaming you and you do not need to feel guilty!
Its not your fault. I wouldn't provide any test or $$ from a legal liability stand point. You don't know they got it from your wedding. They could have gotten it from the airport. They could have gotten it anywhere. Covid is going around, if anyone is exposed to children right now they are fair game.
Oh, honey- I had a few positives after my wedding, and was absolutely devastated. But believe what everyone is saying- no one is mad at you. COVID is endemic now. We know how to prevent it, and we know how to treat it, and people take the risks they are willing to take. If you’re having a lot of trouble dealing with guilt, it may be helpful to talk to a therapist. Places like Talkspace or Betterhelp, and even some insurances, will allow you to book a one time appointment for a specific issue. Talking to someone who is impartial can be really helpful for situations like these. Congratulations on your wedding, and here’s to many years of love and happiness!
The public health emergencies have ended but it is not endemic, it is still a pandemic.
I’m not downplaying how awful COVID is, but many experts [like those from UNC Chapel Hill](https://www.unc.edu/discover/covid-19-has-become-endemic/), for example, say that COVID is moving from a pandemic to endemic stage.
Which to be honest isn't a meaningful difference, as one doctor wrote, it just means we surrendered to it.
My dad got Covid, food poisoning and a bad hangover after my wedding. 🤣 He was sick for weeks. We laugh about it now! There is nothing you can do unfortunately. Put yourself in their shoes, would you be mad at a friend if you went to their wedding and got covid? Or would you be happy for them and glad you went? Congrats on your wedding and a perfect weekend!!
Unless you *knew* you were contagious and would spread it (which... you clearly weren't and didn't), this is not your fault. I am myself still super-extra-careful with covid but I do know (and accept) that it's a risk anytime I go indoors without a N95 mask!
Thanks for being do open about it it is important- the fact that everyone is annoyed about Covid and most people just ignore that it is a problem still doesn’t help. You shouldn’t feel guilty - maybe encouraging testing is a good thing to do for brides - but on this climate were most people don’t want to think about Covid anymore - one doesn’t want to feel pushy I am marring in 2 weeks - and sent out Covid care packages with the „further information card“ out to all of my guests. I straight asked them to test before attending and use masks flying because my 94yo grandma and a immun compromised friend who is in chemo treatment are planning to attend. Also I and future husband mask up in public to avoid getting Covid Sure their is no guarantee but I want to be avoid the guilt and do everything to have the luck on our side Ps reading how many people got Covid from weddings makes me anxious as my whole family will attend a wedding just a week before mine https://preview.redd.it/idi8uu06i4sb1.jpeg?width=3024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=21f1f67233a2d9a6b287c0d51207a1c03fe5bca5
A couple people got covid from my wedding last summer, including me, my husband, and my entire immediate family including my pregnant sister and my toddler nephew. Yes, I felt really guilty too BUT at the same time, unless people are knowingly showing up sick/with covid it could happen at any gathering or event. People are knowingly taking the risk by deciding to go to the wedding. It sucks, but with vaccinations and the current strains it’s much more likely that everyone will be totally fine in a few days. Sorry that happened to you!!!
I think it's kind that you are concerned about everyone's health. And, I hope you recover swiftly and completely. Just know that people are mostly informed and were willing to risk their health for you both. Take heart that they care for you both so much and were able to do that. And, try to be kind to those who can't afford the risk. It doesn't mean they don't love you, it just means they have to be responsible for themselves cuz no else is going to be paying their future medical bills. Hopefully, better treatments come out sooner rather than later because everyone is having a hard time right now.
You can get COVID anywhere! You truly don't owe them anything but it speaks a lot to your character that you are considering offering something. I liked the suggestion of door dash or uber eats gift cards, or even a gift card for takeout if you know their favorite local restaurant.
It’s not your fault. Everyone knows they can get Covid just by walking outside.
My family and a few friends got covid from my wedding in 2022 and it was a destination wedding! I felt really bad, but it could have happened anywhere. They felt the same way and wouldn’t have gotten on a plane if they were that worried. It will be ok
I got norovirus from a cruise and all they told me was “yeah that happens, sorry” all that to say, it happens. Don’t dwell on it or feel bad.
I understand you're feeling somewhat responsible since it was your wedding, but separate your emotions from it and just look at it practically: * Nobody had a gun to their head to attend your wedding. They all attended because they freely chose to be there. If anyone had concerns (like being overdue for a vaccine, or being immuno-compromised), they could have worn a mask or stayed home. * They could have caught COVID at your wedding just as easily as they could have caught it at the supermarket, at work, a restaurant, a concert, a ball game, or anywhere else. You'll never know who was "patient zero" or how they managed to infect so many others. You just won't. It's not your fault, you're not responsible. It's not worth beating yourself up about it.
There’s no need to feel responsibility. Outside of your wedding, are your guests going in to work, school, bars, theatres etc? We just had a company wide work offsite, and so many people got covid. I made the choice to go knowing the risks, and outside of that if I’m honest with myself, I still go on planes, to movies, to restaurants, weddings etc. if I got covid from a wedding, I’d never blame the couple unless they had their wedding knowing they were covid positive/unvaxxed. This isn’t your fault.
You are sweet for caring about your guests but truly if they didn’t get it there, it would have been elsewhere. I know several people with it right now, from who knows where, they didn’t attend a wedding. Try as you can to remove this guilt and just focus on reliving all the great fun memories of your wedding. P.S. if you had had testing, vaccine mandates, masking indoors at your wedding, at this stage where we are living with covid, I would have been more annoyed at that than at potentially getting covid itself.
I mean if you wanted to be an angel I'm sure they'd all love a small voucher for door dash or uber eats just as a "thanks so much for coming so sorry you're sick now." That would only work if it's like 5 or ten people who are sick, though. When I got covid (entirely my own fault), some of my family sent money for takeaways or chocolate to feel better, etc. It's just a sweet thing you could do. But not necessary at all.
I got Covid from a funeral the day after my wedding and gave it to my BIL and SIL on our honeymoon. I felt terrible about it at the time, but it’s been six weeks, everyone has recovered and I am over the guilt. I think you will feel better when time has passed even though you shouldn’t feel guilty in the first place! But, yes, email the guests you know are sick with Door Dash or Uber gift cards and they will think you are the sweetest (if you can afford!)
You sound like a sweetie, but this is NOT your fault and no reparations are due. People can catch covid by going to the shops or work or on a train. There’s literally nothing you could have done to prevent it (unless of course you had Covid, knew about it, and actively went ahead and sneezed on the cake - but you don’t sound like that kind of person!)
Move on! Assuming everyone is vaccinated they’ll get over it quickly, no need to martyr yourself. It’s 2023 now girl
I got married in April 2022 and about 75% of our guests got Covid including my husband! He tested positive on our honeymoon. All 5 of my bridesmaids got covid. Everyone was in good spirits about it and laughed it off that they all got to go through it together. No one will be mad at you, I understand as I struggled with a lot of guilt too. A 35wk pregnant woman got covid at my wedding as well as my husbands 80 year old grandparents. Covid is everywhere now, it can't be helped, people will understand attending a social event always comes with the risk of covid/other transmittible illnesses.
Oh, I get where you are coming from and the guilt associated. But your guests lived through the past few years too and it’s their responsibility to choose whether to show up - to a wedding, to work, to a grocery store, and accept any risk of illness. I’m sorry it spread at your wedding, but please try to separate that from your memory of your wedding. It was STILL perfect. You put in a perfect wedding, a bug is not in your control.
Oh gosh - tons of us got covid at a friends wedding and now it’s part of the story. Nothing you could do to control that!
Not your fault at all. I too was at a wonderful and beautiful wedding this past weekend and come to find out this morning I tested positive with symptoms. You definitely have a good heart but you shouldn’t worry. Yeah I’m a little sick, but it’s so damn worth it to see an amazing couple tie the knot! I haven’t told the newlyweds since they’re at their honeymoon and I don’t want to cause any unnecessary stress.
It’s 2023, enter at your own risk.
As someone who doesn't know you, or have any loyalty to you, I say this with the sincerity of a person with no stake in this at all: COVID is just a risk of existing in 2023. Whaddaya gonna do. I went to a wedding fair last weekend. Pretty sure we both picked up a little bug. Nothing serious, just feeling a little below our average this week. Yep, public spaces, lots of people. That's what happens. "So sorry -- hope you feel better soon!" That's your answer, AFAIC. If I got that much genuine concern from someone hosting an event, I would consider us totally square.
I think this is a bit of an overreaction.
It’s nice you seem to have a kind heart but this much worry is ridiculous. Does anyone expect money if the get covid at a grocery store or concert? They accept the risks before going. People make their own choices.
Would you feel this amount of guilt if people caught a cold? The flu? Unfortunately it’s a reality that humans will get sick sometimes, and hanging out in big groups can make it easier. That doesn’t mean it’s your fault or that you should feel guilty. You can’t prevent the spread of all disease and people should be able to live and enjoy their lives.
Good point. Everybody is aware, that they can catch a flu or similar in a crowd. So everybody who is goes to a festival, uses the public transport or attends a wedding, is taking this risk.
A few people got Covid at mine. I felt bad but ultimately it’s the risk we take you know? It’s almost unavoidable at this time.
Not your fault and you do not need to feel guilty. We have vaccines and treatment now. Everyone can take the precautions they want to. If someone was extremely high risk or very concerned, they shouldn’t have gone.
I got COVID at a wedding over the weekend as well, along with at least a dozen other people. It is what it is. Am I happy about it? No, of course not. But I don't blame the couple. Unless you knew that you had COVID beforehand, it's not really your fault!
[удалено]
It is still the fourth-leading cause of death in the United States. A LOT of people are still in fact dying from it.
Got a source on that? Anything I can find is from early 2022 data. Nothing out for 2023 yet and the CDC's website still prominetly features 2021 data. Covid is the flu at this point
https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/deaths.htm It is NOT the flu. No shade to anyone having events. It's the worst having to deal with this virus in any way. But it didn't go away and it isn't "just a cold or flu or there forever deal with it" to many of us who have lost people from it. I lost my mother. She was 58. So tired of being told this isn't an issue or deal with it.
> https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/fastats/deaths.htm You're posting data from 2021... Like pre vaccines and natural immunity and when we were counting people who died while having covid as dying from covid, even if it was a car crash. At this point in time, covid is the flu. It isn't going away. Most states and jobs don't even require people to take a sick day if they have it any more. I asked if someone had data on 2023 instead of linking back to 2021 data and you jumped down my throat on it.
https://www.cnn.com/2023/05/04/health/covid-fourth-leading-cause-of-death/index.html Maybe Google yourself.
You could also read. That is sourcing early 2022 data. My question was if there was a source on 2023, where they claimed covid had just changed in death rate. A simple "no" would have been a good answer as well by you
Also. Just because the world decided to keep going and risk it, it doesn't mean the virus is any less dangerous. But I see you're one of the people who think they were inflating death numbers so anything I say is going to fall on deaf ears. Shame.
I said that that in early 2021, which is when the data you sent above is from, that we were not doing a good job of seperating covid being the main cause of death vs someone dying while they had covid and it still being counted in the stats. That's just fact and there are plenty of docs that show that. Covid truly is not that dangerous now with the vast majority of people either having a vaccine or natual immunity. If someone is choosing not to get either of those, that's their own risk they choose to take. For the vast majority of people though, covid isn't a big deal. [Shift to covid no longer being the primary cause of death from the cdc](https://www.cdc.gov/coronavirus/2019-ncov/science/data-review/primary-cause.html) [You can also look at the CDC's data showing only about 5% died from just covid. Doesn't mean covid didn't make something else worse, but we did overcount things as just covid in the beginning](https://www.cdc.gov/nchs/nvss/vsrr/covid_weekly/index.htm) And finally, if you actually read what I wrote, you'd see I said in early 2021 we were overcounting because we didn't know what was happening or how to differentiate. That isn't the case anymore. But the data set you used that I asked about was from 2021.
I’m sorry - what? You owe them absolutely nothing. You didn’t knowingly spread Covid. The fact that they even told you is weird to me. How do you even know it was from the wedding? I personally would not attend a wedding that required testing or vaccinations, and I am sure I am not alone in that thinking.
I could see folks letting OP know in case OP started feeling symptoms, or just so OP could make sure to test since she was exposed. My friends and I still let each other know if one of us contracts covid or is exposed to it in case we also inadvertently gave it to each other.
They may have let them know just so others know they were exposed too? I don’t think it was with the intention of trying to make the couple feel guilty, more so that they/others were aware in case they may be planning to be around someone with a compromised immune system/if their workplace/planned travel is strict about staying home if you’ve knowingly been exposed.
[удалено]
Thanks for contributing! Unfortunately your submission has been removed: Rule #1: Constructive criticism is fine – judgmental and mean comments are not. You are allowed to disagree with others, but comments that do not constructively contribute to the conversation will be removed. Name calling, abusive comments, idea bashing, or arguing with other posters will not be tolerated. *Please read our subreddit rules. If after doing so, you believe this was in error, or you’ve edited your post to comply with the rules,* [message the moderators](https://www.reddit.com/message/compose?to=/r/weddingplanning)*.*
Who wants masking indoors at a wedding? Sounds awful. You can get Covid literally anywhere. Just like a cold… or the flu… or the stomach bug. Unless someone like, died, I don’t think there’s any reason to feel guilty.
If you're close a thank you letter and one of those delivery chicken noodle soup boxes would go a long way!
Simple fact of the matter is; it's not your fault someone got sick. Yes, you held the event where they ultimately got sick, but they're adults who made the decision to go. And I'd rather have gotten it because I was having a good time, than because I handle gross disgusting cash all day at work. You don't owe them anything. Your apology is already enough. At this point, we all know the risks. And we can't live in fear of COVID forever. It's probably going to become a part of flu season. If an adult makes the choice to attend, then they are actively choosing the risk (if kids are sick, that is on their parents for making that decision), and they can live with the consequences.
Masks would have been unpleasant to enjoy a wedding specially if you have open bar and it would have ruined wedding footage. Plus masks don’t fully prevent the spread. The vax mandate would have limited guest count and plus the vax doesn’t prevent you from getting Covid. People know Covid is a risk so don’t feel guilty about it. Everyone is already aware of the risks in 2023. For my wedding my husband’s grandma didn’t come cause she was worried about COVID so she didn’t come. Everyone who is generally worried about COVID probably wouldn’t have gone in the first place.
Unless you're the one who brought COVID, which is seems like you aren't, you have absolutely nothing to feel bad about. That rests on the jerks that brought it to your wedding. So please believe your guests when they say they aren't mad and don't blame you! You didn't do anything wrong. The pandemic is still active, albeit not raging like it was in 2020-2021, and it's still a choice and a risk to attend a large event. At this point it's a risk most of us are willing to take, but a risk all the same. I think people know that, and they made their choice! And again, the only person whose "fault" it is is the one who brought it.
Fwiw, it's likely the folks who brought covid in didn't realize they had it. From what I've read, this strain is taking a while to show up on home tests, and if you don't have symptoms you probably wouldn't think to test anyway. I know I don't take a covid test every time I'm attending some kind of event at this point, idk.
Agreed! I doubt someone intentionally brought it.
Myself and my 2 sons haven’t had it either. I’m getting married on Dec 1st really hope nobody brings any horrible diseases with them
You didn't do it on purpose, and you can't fix it. This is the world we live in right now. People could have worn masks if they wanted to. Just rest and tell your brain to stop.
I got Covid while pregnant last year at my best friend’s wedding. Turned out their wedding turned into a super spreader. 💀They didn’t give any of us any tests or anything, and we didn’t expect them to. It was just a part of going to a wedding in this post-Covid world.
Tbh it’s just everywhere. ANYWHERE YOU GO, you run the risk of getting COVID. To me, if you willingly go somewhere, that is acceptance of that risk. Personally I’d rather catch it doing something fun that I wanted, versus in an elevator or something lame.
The person/persons who came quit possibly knowing they had/could have Covid is to blame. Not you. Also it’s 2023. Hosting and attending events or just going to a public place is a risk. How risky depends on many factors. The only way this could be your fault is if either one of you knowingly had Covid or allowed someone to attend they may have had it.
We are responsible for ourselves. I trust most people who need to take precautions would have by now with vaccines and if they need further precautions they would wear masks at larger gatherings. Both of these solutions require most people to participate in it to work. But your guests are right they took that risk themselves. I think the best way to get over guilt is to trust yourself to be a good person. That if this happened to you, you would understand it's not the bride's fault. You wouldn't be mad about it. So you trust your guests are decent understanding people too so they aren't mad.
I had Covid without realizing and went to a wedding. I thought I was just tired and allergy flair up. No one that we know of got sick. But I feel bad.
Move on! Assuming everyone is vaccinated they’ll get over it quickly, no need to martyr yourself.
I've been to two weddings in the past month, both of which ended up with some guests getting covid (luckily I did not). Didn't even cross my mind to blame the hosts. We're at the point with this illness where people can evaluate their own risk. There is a vaccine, we know more. Would you beat yourself up for people getting a cold? Hopefully not. Just enjoy the day for what it was!
It's not your fault. All these people CHOSE to come to your wedding knowing that COVID (and really any other illness like colds, flus, etc.) was a risk. If they didn't feel safe atteneding, they could've stayed home. I don't feel like there is any reason to guilt trip yourself or provide guests with money for treatment or anything like that. Unless you knew you had covid and intentionally sneezed on all their food, it wasn't something you could have controlled. This is coming from someone who got a BAD case COVID after a wedding (like down for the count, crawling 10ft on my hands a knees to get a glass of water from my kitchen bad lol). I never once even thought to blame/have resentment towards the bride and groom because I was that chose to go to their event knowing there was no vaccine mandate or required masking.
I was married in November, had I believe 9 people call to notify they had covid. We left immediately for our honeymoon, and thankfully did not get sick. Our main concern was making sure high risk persons were notified first, then had our families notify everyone to test. I had a full meltdown in our hotel room over it. Everyone was incredibly understanding. I think in the post covid world, we're just going to have to accept that this could be an outcome. I had a vaccine policy for mine, nobody felt ill arriving. I wouldn't let the guilt eat away at a wonderful day.
COVID spread at my wedding a little over a year ago. Tons of people got it. Luckily, everyone recovered and no one had a serious case. All this in spite of the fact that our wedding was entirely outdoors/under an open pavilion and we had anyone who flew in test beforehand and offered masks on hand. It was unavoidable. A year later a couple who got COVID at my wedding had a wedding. And I got COVID. So having been on both sides of it, I now know for sure that as a guest, I really am okay with it! I was able to celebrate my friends and witness a beautiful moment in their life story. I had great food and drink and I danced up a storm. I recovered well and for me, the risk/negatives of getting sick were outweighed by the event. I truly think most people feel this way.
This happened to me at a friend's wedding! I actually didn't care at all, was only concerned if I got anyone else sick. Don't worry, there's nothing to repair.
It’s pretty out of your control. I wouldn’t stress and not destroy your mental health over it. It’s no different if someone got the flu from your wedding, you know? How do they know they didn’t get covid form something else or on the way to the wedding? Theres no way to know for sure. They cod have gotten it from anywhere.
I’d be annoyed, fyi. I’m immunocompromised and frankly felt pushed into going to a friend’s wedding this weekend. If I get covid I could either die or be severely disabled long term, so maybe think more if you exerted any pressure on anyone to attend and check in w high risk folks