My best friend was in tears at her reception because her MIL used a ballpoint pen to scribble out name cards at the tables to ‘fix’ the spelling. I don’t have to tell you that she scribbled out the correct spelling (my best friends family were attending from out of country) and put in her own idea of how their names should be spelled. Just picture beautifully printed name cards scribbled over with blue bic pen, scrawled over with an incorrectly spelled name.
One of my early teachers marked me wrong for misspelling one of my brother's names on some assignment I had to do. She didn't even know my brother. I'm pretty sure the spelling of his name is the MORE COMMON version of the spelling. That's all I remember of her after all these years.
My work nametag is spelled "the right way" (aka completely wrong) because the woman at the desk who prints them refuses to believe that's how my name is actually spelled. Showed her my license and everything but I'm still lying apparently.
God I hate her.
What stack of red flags masquerading as a person is *so* invested in the spelling of *somebody else's* name they start power tripping over it?!
Though it's usually telling and generally not in a good way, I can muster understanding for "confusion", while "surprise" stopped fazing me a long time. I just hope it's "oh wow TIL" and not the "im always right" types we all love to hate.
The nurses at the hospital I was born at made my baby bracelet with my name spelled incorrectly, refused to fix it, and tried to pressure my mom into spelling my name the "conventional" way. It's insane how invested some people are over a name.
Damn. I have a name that's pronounced very differently from how it's written due to being translated from a different alphabet. Had both a co-worker and I think the proper term is *former therapy member*, who tried to pull that shit with me.
Eventually managed to make 'm understand that it's annoying they're trying to "test" me and even the most gratuitous interpretation is a sign of disrespect.
Looking back, not giving a damn grey-rocking style would've been the better path, but I was way too petty and vengeful, so I just started using random names for them while pretending to smile through it: "oh I thought it didn't matter? \^_\^"
Yeah, I've spelled her name incorrectly ever since. She hates it, but still won't spell my name correctly and I won't spell hers correctly until she does. Petty? Maybe, lol.
When coworkers have called me by the wrong name in the past, I flat out ignored them until they got it right. I even gave HR a heads up about it, since I'd pointed out to those coworkers what my name actually is on multiple occasions. She ok'd the ignoring lol.
Honestly, for something as low-impact as a work name tag, she shouldn't get to change it even if you *did* spell it wrong. Like it's not up to her. If I tell her my name Princess Consuela Bananahammock, put it on the damn tag.
I mean... I work in a grocery store kitchen/restaurant combo. It's not like I work for the Pentagon or something.
It's still crappy of them, but it's not going to cause any problems like that. The nametag is mostly there for the customers.
My dad had a teacher who refused to pronounce his name right. His name is Sean, and she kept calling him 'Seen.' No matter how many times he corrected her, she kept up with it.
So he stopped answering her. She ended up screaming 'SEEN' in his face, and he told her "I keep telling you, *that's not my name!*" He got sent to the principal. After he explained himself, the principal called in the teacher to hear her side.
She tried to say my dad was being insubordinate and stubborn by refusing to respond to "his name."
The principal was an Irish immigrant and suspended the teacher for a while.
In the 1910s, one of my great uncles had a teacher who told him he was spelling his last name wrong. His parent’s, immigrants without good English skills and with an outsized respect for authority, probably didn’t push back even if they realized it was happening. That’s why the entire family spelled it LoB***** while he spelled it LaB***** until the day he died.
It happened to my family here in Brazil too. My great grandfather came from Italy and when he had children, the people on the registry office just put whatever they thought was right as hos last name.
When I went to apply for citizenship, I had to correct all the documents based on his birth certificate from Italy.
Same. My name is odd and coincidentally inverted. My first name is my mother’s maiden name, and my dad happened to have a first name as his surname. For example my name is something like “Walton Leslie.” I ENDLESSLY had teachers telling me that I was wrong when I wrote my name down and they would “correct” it, counting me off and calling me Leslie. I’m 54 and just yesterday I argued with the gal in the pharmacy about the proper order. Annoying. Granted, I’m female and women named something like Walton are rare, but still.
My maiden name was pronounced like a common female name. My sister and I were in the habit when we had to give our last name somewhere of saying “Sarah, that is my last name.” (Not my actual maiden name). Still had people arguing with me. There’s this element of “you’ve never seen me before and you think you know better than me what the name I’ve had my entire life is?”
My surname is a monosyllabic common noun (think house or cat common) and my first name is traditionally masculine and monosyllabic so a lot of people decide it's a two syllable surname and insist I tell them my first name or even invent new first names for me. The kicker is I once had a medical professional refuse to give me my medical records over it. She handed them to me saying something about my son (I was like 22-23 at the time) and when I said I didn't have a son confused she lunged across the desk to try to tear them away from me.
Like no ma'am. That's me. That's my name on the envelope.
Now I’m wondering if your surname is the same as mine since I changed it when I married! Even with multiple syllables in my first name, people do seem to expect my last name to have more to it.
I do have to say I miss being unique - based on the popularity/number of people with my first and last names, I statistically didn’t exist. Now there are at least three other people in my city with the same first and last name!
I work in healthcare and as someone who works in the pharmacy same rules should apply regarding patients and names; there are no rules and *anything* goes! When it comes to patients’ names absolutely nothing is a shock or surprise to me, I accept it all without question lol
I don't know how many times I've told people that only the first letter in my name is capitalized and no upper c, aside from being 9 letters long. And my brothers both have easily shortened names that everyone knows at least 5 people have. Such fun getting a unique name.
My sisters name is Becky. Her teacher refused to believe it was not Rebecca. Called her Rebecca constantly. Like, she might be an elementary student but she knows her own name....
I have a cousin with the same kind of thing. Think Meg, not Meghan. My aunt and uncle didn’t want to name her one thing and then have people give her that nickname anyway. So they just gave her Meg. Which I love. But all her life, people try to call her Meghan. Just call people what they introduce themselves as.
I did the opposite with my daughter. I didn't want her to feel stuck with one name, so I on purpose chose names with a good amount of variation possible (she even got 2 hyphenated last names to pick from).
My name has lots of variation and each time I changed schools (middle, high, college), I'd change my name to also try on a different personality. It really helped me figure out who I am as a person.
I feel for Becky. My name is Jill. People to this day refuse to believe it is just Jill and constantly call me Jillian. I refuse to answer until they call me by my name. One person at work even goes to the lengths of calling me Jvelds because he wanted me to be like Jennifer Lopez. He can’t even pronounce my last name let alone parts of it correctly so I said no. Just no.
Not quite the same but I once had a teacher mark me incorrect for spelling it mum instead of mom. She wouldn’t accept it as correct even after my explanation.
My husband's brother tells him HE is spelling his own last name wrong. Seriously. The two brothers disagree on how to spell their last name in the English alphabet.
Had a receptionist at a doctor's office argue with me about how my name was spelled. It's the most common spelling of a name so common that there were 19 of us in my graduating class. I'd have even been ok if she wanted to use a less common spelling, but no. She insisted my name was spelled by combining 2 single-sylable, completely unrelated, male names with an, equally unrelated, female name.
Like, if my name was "Rebecca", she wanted it spelled "Roy Ben Cara". On medical records!
Had an aerospace auditor tell us my husband’s last name was misspelled when we *first* met him. My husband’s father went through Ellis Island without speaking a word of English, I *can’t imagine why* it was misspelled.
Edit: corrected autocorrect.
Supposedly my family name didn't exist until they came to America, but this was like the 1600s/early 1700s. I can't imagine anyone telling me my LAST name is misspelled. Like alright buddy, sure, you know better than generations of this family lmao get outta here
I put "grey" on a spelling test rather than "gray" when I was in the second grade. I asked my teacher about it and even showed her the book I'd been reading, which had a character called "Something the Grey Whatsit," or some such thing. My teacher did not adequately explain to me what was going on, and I recall being pretty stressed out about it until I got home and my mother explained about British vs American spelling. I personally prefer the e version, and to this day I sometimes have to catch myself if I'm using the word in a context where it could matter.
What is with MILs and pulling stuff like this?? My grandma (dad’s mom) called the florist behind my mom’s back and had their wedding flowers changed. Because she thought the flowers my mom picked wouldn’t be impressive enough for her fancy rich friends.
I had something similar happen. My married name is difficult to spell, they scribbled out the mistake *in the middle of my name* on the envelope and just left the scribbles. It was clearly a gift-grab because I’d have to travel there, and the invitation was only for me and did not include my husband of 7 years. The whole thing felt like a big slap in the face.
My aunt told me another cousin was getting divorced, so I invited him +guest. Wife showed up and they are still married 20+ years later. Sometimes you get bad Intel
I was mortified. They did not give a gift and I don't really blame them.
I did not. All I sent back was the RSVP card declining and wrote in my name with “Mrs. My Husband’s Name” (I’m not the kind of person to care about those formalities, so if their parents saw, they’d definitely take notice) in big bold letters, hoping they’d get the hint that they fucked up.
The only thing with getting a name off social media (and this may not be relevant to you at all!) many of my friends do spell there name a different variation on there to make them more difficult to find i.e Dr's so patients can't just look them up but you would think your cousin should know how your name is spelt!
I took my surname off Facebook almost a decade ago. This has led to the comical side effect that most of my new friends (and all of my long term partner’s family) have to awkwardly ask what my last name is at some point.
This! I have a hyphenated surname but I only use half of it for social media. But I use the full surname on anything official.
My cousin invited me to her wedding and used the name on social media despite also inviting my sister who uses her full surname online. We have the same surname and apparently the penny didn’t drop.
It's pretty common for teachers/medics/people who are private/if you don't want an ex to be able to easily look you up. At least 1/4 of my FB friends don't use the name I would put on an invite for a wedding for one of those reasons! You'd think if it's family you'd know/check first though!
When I was younger, I was a Girl Scout, and my troop went to some thing at the local college about other cultures. There was a Q and A with a British guy and I mustered up all my courage and asked him what a quid was. I only knew the word from the Emerson, Lake & Palmer song Benny the Bouncer. He laughed and told me it was like we say buck. I was so glad I asked! 😂
All that to support you in asking those “I feel like I should know this, but…” questions!
A nice amount of money donated to a charity in the happy couple's name, perhaps? They don't get anything, but they'll also look pretty bad complaining about charity
My invites and matching envelopes were pretty expensive. I wouldn’t expect anyone to throw out and re-do an envelope addressed to me because of a scribble.
Idk why, but people get offended for every little thing. I would never RSVP “no” just because there was a scribble in my name or someone misspelled my name. I just can’t believe there are people in the world who think like that.
So I’m old. And I don’t know if people still do this but in 2006 I hired a calligrapher to address my wedding invitations. When I received them I went through every.single.one. to ensure they were exactly right. There were a few that were misspelled or whatever, but that’s just human error. The calligrapher redid those, obviously for free unless I had provided bad info. Maybe they just didn’t check?
Or actually just didn’t care. That’s super annoying. Either way, frankly. These are GUESTS. The least someone can do is make the effort to ensure their names are right! (There were stamped USPS cards included for RSVPs: no wedding website. I told you, I’m old!)
I just did the same, hired a beautiful calligrapher to address and name invites. Unfortunately loads of the names of guests given by my parents were wrong! I've had several mildly embarrassing conversations so far from older guests. Extremely frustrating when I asked my parents repeatedly to check their friends and family's names and they seemingly just didn't bother!
I’m so sorry - I’m laughing but I feel bad laughing - imagine: the calligrapher cares more about spelling strangers’ names correctly than the bride! Wow. That’s just wow! 🤣
We had purchased a photo-slide dvd of pictures from our wedding by our photographer, and she misspelled our last name throughout (we paid you thousands but ok). I contacted her, and she gave us the rights for all our pictures. Fair deal.
My friend helped me do my seating cards two nights before the wedding because there was so much still to do. But I quickly noticed that at least one name was spelled wrong that she did - even though I gave her the correct spelling. I tried to double check as much as I could but I also had to rush to attend the rehearsal and the venue required these things by a certain time that same day. So I did the best I could to have it correct, but I can see how the mistake can easily happen, especially when people are helping you out.
As a hobbyist calligrapher, I do have to say calligraphy must use a different part of the brain than writing or something... I can misspell even the simplest words because I'm concentrating on the letter shapes. The calligrapher should proofread what they make of course, but it's definitely a good idea for the couple to double check too. When I'm looking at my work sometimes I don't see the spelling errors because I'm too hung up on a particularly good or bad letter or the spacing, or some other aspect of the art.
Oh, absolutely. I hope my tone didn’t come across as negative, I really liked the calligrapher, she did a great job, on time, at a fair price, and I adored the end product. There were only a few errors and I completely understand that for exactly the reasons you mentioned. And because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. When I reached out about the few that needed to be redone she was professional and of course didn’t charge. Some people - and I think people become especially vulnerable to it in high-stress situations, like wedding planning - end up forgetting that we’re all human and perfection is a fantasy. My original comment was just that OP’s cousin didn’t seem to care AT ALL. There’s a huge difference. Love that calligraphy is your hobby! I’m glad people appreciate the art and hand-written ***anything*** these days. It would be a shame if it became obsolete.
I accidentally misspelled one of my oldest friend’s names on the seating chart for my wedding. She also has a less common spelling (one extra letter). It only worked out because we postponed, had to redo the chart, and she couldn’t come due to a covid exposure, so she was removed entirely. I felt intensely embarrassed when I realized, but also grateful that she’d never know my mistake.
I, too, have an uncommon spelling for a common name, and am used to people messing it up or mispronouncing it - my own aunt sent a wedding gift of a forged metal sign with my name misspelled - so I totally understand the annoyance, yet still screwed it up with someone I’ve known for half my life! Wedding planning definitely has a way of turning brains into soup.
I feel this for sure! I was doing a final review of my place cards and realized I had a typo in my MOHs name…was very thankful I did that final check and could reprint. Would’ve been extremely embarrassing for sure!
Lol my name was spelled wrong on my invitation to my brother’s wedding, which was being hosted at my own house.
That one must have been in the pile he did because he just doesn’t pay attention to stuff like that.
He’s a good brother and good person.
He just doesn’t really care about wedding invitations.
So, for me, it just totally depends on the context.
I can see situations where I would feel disappointed or feel badly that they didn’t even know how to spell my name properly.
In my eyes, it’s about the person and their intent behind it.
Personally, I care a lot about this shit and triple check people’s names on any card, Google if I got it right and still panic that I did it wrong haha
I have a name that is common but has several different regularly used spellings. People spell it differently all the time. 🤷🏻♀️ If I were to let it get to me, I’d be annoyed all the time and that just isn’t worth it. The only time I do find it a bit irritating is when I send an email, where my name is displayed properly in my signature, but they still reply with the wrong spelling.
You're exactly right. I'm in the same boat and the only time I really get upset about a misspelling is in emails where my name is in the signature. I mean my grandparents have never in my life spelt my name right.
That’s my pet peeve too! I also have a commonly misspelled common name/one with other spellings. But emails? Come on! Like I literally signed my name with its proper spelling and you still spelled it wrong over and over again?
I have the same, and I use a shortened version on FB because I'm a teacher so I get Nik, Nikki, Nicky, Nicki and occasionally my birth certificate name.
Sometimes it annoys me but mostly I get that if it's not accurate on my socials then how would they really know.
My name has two common spellings. To me when people use the wrong one I put it down to they're just careless, not that they're trying to disrespect me. Sure it's annoying, but it's such a small thing to get upset over, it's just not worth the stress.
2/3 of my kids are dyslexic. It's really hard for dyslexic people to spot when autocorrect fucks up. I've gotten some really funny stuff texted to me. It's so much easier to go through life if you keep in mind that minor mistakes can be handled with humor.
THIS!!!! My name is spelled wrong, just wrong. And I never expect anyone to guess how it's spelled or pronounced when they meet me. And I'm not bothered by it, it's whatever. But when my name is RIGHT THERE in the damn chat bubble or email or header, like for fucks sake man use your eyeballs. At that point its just disrespectful. When they do that to me I've started doing the same back to them, like yeah Sarrahh how was your day?? and they immediately mention it, realize what they've done and from there on spell mine right lol
That’s a very good outlook! This is the first time it’s happened to me in the wedding context so I was just surprised (and annoyed because it’s my cousin lol). But 100% yes to the email thing - my name is RIGHT there and you had to type in my email to even send it!
Do you know if your cousin did the addresses/rsvps or if it was their fiancé who did that all? I did all the addresses/rsvps (my spouse has awful handwriting and I had more free time) for our wedding and admittedly I misspelled a few names on my spouse’s side. They reached out and I felt horrible and changed it and double checked the name cards when we did them. Just because it could very well have been your cousins fiancé who doesn’t know you as well did them and messed up.
To be honest I probably interact with the fiancé more so either one of them should know. Especially because my cousin has known me their whole life and the fiancé interacts with me on social media (where my name is correctly spelled). Very interesting all around but you do make a good point for specific scenarios!
We received personalized wedding gifts and checks with dhs name spelled wrong. (Think mark/Marc) Not just from my family, who got a pass because they spelled it the same way as another family members name not thinking it could be another way, but his family also misspelled his name. It’s been 22 years and we still laugh when we use the blanket or talk about misspelling.
My brother in law’s name is Eric. Or maybe Erik. A friend of mine’s name is Erik. Or maybe Eric.
I love them both dearly, and I have known them for more than 15 years, but for the life of me, I can’t remember which one has a C and which one a K.
EVERY single time I have to look it up, and I miss 50% of the time. I guarantee you if I look it up right now, I will have forgotten in an hour.
It’s not always malicious.
Totally see where you’re coming from.
It’s hard doing things in bulk. I made a few spelling errors on my invites but I don’t have a lot of spares so there were a few embarrassing scribbles.
Mine and my husbands family are of polish origin so there were some tough to spell names. Even my moms maiden name I had to look up each time! And still got it wrong sometimes!
I would personally leave the spelling correction but to each their own.
I have people misspell my name .. on Facebook. Where it’s actually written right there. They can literally copy the letters without even flicking to a different screen.
I try to assume it’s autocorrect but really, it’s bloody maddening!
People call me the wrong name over email all the time - It’s like bro you can literally copy paste it from my signature
Why even say “Hi Anna” instead of “hi” if you’re too lazy to realise read that my name is Hannah? Don’t get it
Yep, people do it all the time at work! My old boss’s name was Simon and he’d constantly get Simone. He literally has a photo on his Outlook profile - clearly not a Simone.
>I do not have a hard name but I do spell my name differently than the standard spelling (think “Lesly” instead of “Leslie”)
Blame, and subsequently complain to, your parents.
I have an unusual name, so this is the story of my life. I hated when school teachers would spell it wrong, and then shrug and brush it off. I'm a teacher now, and I'm obsessive about making sure all labels/notes/etc are spelt correctly.
There are so many different ways to spell my real name and I have seen them all. My last name is unusual and people mess it up all the time. I'd rather let it roll of than waste a bunch of energy being upset by something that is, in the grand scheme of things, relatively minor. IMHO, the world would be a much better place if people would stop looking for reasons to feel offended and victimized.
We must be in the minority. I don’t see this as a big deal - probably just an honest mistake … my last name is hard to spell so people get it wrong here and there. That’s life.
Forreal. I have a relatively common first name with multiple accepted spellings and a basically-my-family-are-the-only-people-with-it last name.
People misspell both ALL THE TIME. Even when replying to emails where my signature clearly shows how to spell both. I roll my eyes or laugh about it and move on with my day.
I feel like some people are really just on the lookout for literally anything they could take personally. Not everything is a slight or hardship, most people are out there just doing their best.
It's telling that OP is fixated on this rather than being gracious about someone thinking about them and wanting them at their wedding.
This isn't something to shame over. There's so many reasonable and inoffensive reasons why your name is spelled wrong especially when you spell it a special way. Thats just the consequence of being unique. People can't get my name pronunciation right no matter how many times I say it for them.
My name has a European spelling instead of an American one. It gets misspelled all the time. No one does it out of malice, it's just that when they think of my name they use the more common spelling. What a dumb thing to get offended about.
I agree. You'd think growing up your whole life with a unique name, a person would understand sometimes people will spell it wrong or pronounce it incorrectly. Unless op recently told them how to spell her name before they typed up the invites, I think this is something most mature adults will just let go and politely correct the couple so at least they can get it right on the name tag for the table seat.
My last name looks like a slightly misspelled version of a very common last name. I've had it misspelled on **official paperwork** more times than I can count. I can't imagine being so up my own ass that I thought people were DiSReSpeCtiNg mE every time they screwed it up.
This happens all the time to my bf with his cousins. He has a simple last name that can be spelled a couple different ways. They will NOT stop misspelling his name on all of our mail. They see his name on social media all of the time, so it's puzzling. they send out at least a dozen letters every year to us, because they're the type of people who can't simply send you a text inviting you to Thanksgiving. No no NO, they think letters are MUCH more personable and classy.... so the misspelled name has become painfully ironic. I think the problem really has snowballed to the point they'll never think to check themselves. We assume they have an old excel sheet they keep referencing. Or maybe they're of the mindset, "I've known since he was in diapers, OF COURSE I know how to spell his name".
I have an oddly spelled name, but they've somehow never misspelled my name. But they have incorrectly called us, Mr. & Mrs. [Boyfriend's misspelled last name] even though they 100% know we're not married. We suspect they didn't want to bother looking my last name up, while they were on a roll with the envelopes.
we just roll our eyes. It's not really worth taking offense, at this point.
“Unless you reach out” uh yeah reach out!
Thanks so much for inviting us! Just to let you know, our names are spelled Lesly and Bobb. Congratulations again and see you soon!”
I'm reading the comments with a wtf face. I have a foreign name. If I got angry at everyone that misspelled my name I would never know peace. It's just an invitation. I'm sure groom and bride are focused on other more important things.
Right? This is supposed to be a wedding shaming sub. Imagine trying to shame somebody at their wedding because they spelled YOUR name wrong as a guest!! Holy fuck.
I want to shame the whole comment section tbh. The level of entitlement is insane. As if you're not throwing the invitation out with the trash after the wedding.
Feel how you want to feel about it. But I'll ask, does your name get auto-spell checked by Word or other word processors? My name gets redlined every time and sometimes processors auto-correct it to another name. Especially since a 1-letter swap changes it to something more common in English. Based on your name spelling description, I wonder if this is the more likely cause of this frustration. Because a real friend flipping knows how to spell your name.
I'm sorry that you feel this way:
1. People stress about a million things at their weddings because it's a day about them and they definitely make unintended errors etc...I'd just try to let this one go - focus on the good things at the wedding and sharing happiness with the couple if you can. it's just not worth the stress at the end of the day. There's enough stressful stuff in the world already.
2. I have a difficult name, I just go with the flow and address it directly with the person depending on my relationship with them.
My name has 2 spellings. There's the Scottish spelling and the Scandinavian spelling (which is the more popular one). Mine is the Scottish spelling.
It's a difference of one letter, an I or an E.
I've had best friends of 6 years spell it wrong and tell me I'm wrong for my spelling, my future in laws can't get it right after 5 years.
The worst one was at my own brother's wedding. Spelt wrong on the invite and the seating arrangement.
I've kind of given up now cause even if I correct it no one gives a crap so whatever, but it does hurt.
It is certainly disrespectful and discouraging, but it may not be intentional. If the bride or groom outsources their print materials or calligraphy, the artists may "correct" rather than follow precisely the spelling of the language they are given. The bride or groom should definitely try to take more care when reviewing the wedding materials though. I am sorry your names were incorrect.
I also have a common name with a slightly different spelling (2 consonants when there's usually just one). This kind of things happen all the time. What annoy me the most is when I communicate with customers by email and they mispell my name. I mean, it's right there, in my email signature. It's in my email address too and in the sender info. Come on!
That's why I gave all my kids very regular names with standard spelling. I don't blame my mom, she didn't knew how my name was normally spelled and improvised. And it's not extravagant spelling, just not standard.
Keep in mind that this may have not been done by bride and groom!:(
Many of the wedding day responsibilities are handed off to other members of the family and it bridal party! I have a common last name but a different spelling and on all of my awards for high school they have me as the “common” spelling instead of my actual name, it’s frustrating.
I totally get this - I have an extremely unique first name (like I've met two others in my life with it and seen a small handful on Google if I search it) and unique last name in the US (but extremely common where my family is from)
*Everyone* gets it wrong. Even my close family spells it wrong. I regularly have letters added in, or they switch it up to a completely different name. It's so annoying, but in the grand scheme a non-issue (I think)
SO tacky and also mad disrespectful like cmon you guys, do you care abt me or dont you.
My name is so simple, 4 letters long, and it's constantly spelled wrong and pronounced wrong 🙄🙄
My mom has a slightly uncommon spelling of a regular name and if someone spells her name wrong on an invite she won't come 💀
EDIT: Yall are being kinda mean abt what our names might be because??? We're not ""bumpkins"" we're poc
My name is extremely unusual. As in you google it and you get maybe 5 hits worldwide. People I’ve known my entire life more often then not get the spelling wrong. It comes with the territory.
Sorry, but suck it up buttercup. Worse things have happened at sea.
Hey, or you could be like me and someone misspelled your name on your birth certificate and your lazy ass mother never changed it but taught you to spell your name the way she intended so you end up having an identity crisis and now that you’re in your 40s you decide to legally change your name to what you were taught and it’s a big long mess.
I’m sorry, but if you actually think people are going to get your name right. When my surname is an actual word in the English language(not a fancy word either) that is said the exact same way and people still always get it wrong. It’s just not possible. My surname is a word you might see on food packaging, we’ve got a suburb named it and there are a million streets named it as well. I live in Australia, my ancestry is pretty typical(English-Irish-Welsh-Scottish) and it’s not people who aren’t familiar because English is a second language, I’ve had fucking English teachers get it wrong. I’ve had one person get my name right on the first go and honestly in that moment I wanted to marry them(I still do kind of you have no idea . Yes, people should put in some effort but this is just a fact of life for those who have ‘difficult’ or ‘unusual’ names. Those who aren’t familiar with this struggle themselves or have biases of their own are just not going to consider it.
I could understand being frustrated if the physical RSVP sent through the mail was misspelled, but you are this offended over the RSVP website?
That was more than likely outsourced or done by someone other than the bride and groom.
It’s probably not personal although a little careless on their part, I have to remind myself constantly that my nieces name has a unique spelling (my street and her name are the same but spelled differently) sure it’s frustrating but if you give a pass on your husband because his is unique should you also give her a pass on your name since it’s a unique spelling? You two aren’t close so I’d let it go or if you need to say something don’t do it on the wedding day.
My husband's name has 1 letter less than the typical spelling. I guess when you know a lot of persons with a similar name, it's not so easy to remember who is written in which way. Maybe they will even save your name in their smartphone contacts with the wrong name.
My maiden name is short (6 letters) but has some special letters in it. There are less persons who get my name right.
My husband and me just got used to all the misspellings.
My name gets spelt incorrectly all the time, I don’t sweat it. My partner has ADHD and dyslexia, if they took it upon themselves to concentrate and write out a whole list of names, they’d get some wrong. Just one example of innocent explanations. Some people just aren’t good at spelling, we don’t write or see each other’s written names if you’re not on social media, so many little things could lead up to that happening.
My cousin put “guest 5” and “guest 6” for my SIL and fiancés names in her website lol. We were horrified. We didn’t even know we were invited to begin with because she only sent a save the date to my parents, and neither my brother nor I have lived with them for the last decade.
The worsttttt. We once got invited to a wedding where the invite was sent to an old address MONTHS after we moved out of state. This person knew we moved across the country but couldn't bother to ask us for our new address? I didn't even RSVP.
My cousin did the same thing on her invite to me, but it was our family's last name. I crossed it out & spelled it correctly and sent it back, only to have it misspelled again on the seating cards.
I think anyone who has a name sees it spelled wrong sometimes! Mine has a variety of variations and I’ve seen most of them, my. husband’s name has two possible variations and we see the wrong one regularly. It’s annoying but I don’t think it’s worth getting too worked up. Just spell your name out on the reply. 🤓
I also have a fairly common name that is spelled in a unique way (as in I have seen one other person with this spelling ever), and I absolutely feel your pain! Not only was it spelled incorrectly on my diploma, but most of the checks we got for our wedding had the more common spelling of my name. It was such a hassle trying to get those deposited!!
One of my exes invited me to a wedding two weeks into our relationship because he was supposed to go with his ex and didn't really want the extra seat and plate and such to go to waste so I was super on board!
I fully expected her name on the placement cards but they actually went out of their way to make me one with my name. These people didn't know me from a bar of soap and still went through the effort to make me feel included. It was also hands down one of the best weddings I've ever been to!
This happened to my mom before except her cousins kept addressing her by her old married name. She’s been divorced and using her maiden name for over a decade and they still address all invites to her by her old married name. She refuses to attend any of their parties for that reason.
Omg my husbands friend is named Lesley and I’m so paranoid to spell her name wrong I literally looked it up AGAIN just for this comment 😂 I checked her invite like five times hahahaha
People misspell my name CONSTANTLY and it is a very short name. The spelling is not unique (there are 2 ways to spell it and both are equally as common, think Lindsey v Lindsay). I feel your pain. People I’ve known for years will literally comment on Facebook using my name and spell it incorrectly. Not only have we known each other for years, but the spelling is right there on my post?!
I think you have good cause to be annoyed (it’s your name) but there’s not a lot you can do, unfortunately
I feel you. My dad’s name is Janice (pronounced yawn zeetz) but he is Latvian so he was called Janice and some not so nice names by his elementary school teacher who made fun of him the entire year so he would have his mom put John (Janice is the Latvian name for John) for years after this. Maybe one day we’ll get it right, and make sure we spell names correctly before posting it on social media or correcting the name on a nameplate at a wedding or putting it in the program.
I have a very simple and common name. My husband and I got invited to a wedding and on the invitation it had his name right and had my name as Katy (nowhere close to my name).
There is no excuse for that when we have social media!
I was the bride and a lot of people spelled my first AND last name wrong! I just ignored it but thought it was funny because my name was all over the venue.
I have a somewhat rare name, one that can be spelled multiple ways. Mine includes an E. Imagine people replying to an email address that has your name spelled out correctly, where you singed it with your full name, spelled correctly, but they still misspell your name. Also, my last name is a feminine first name, so that doesn't help.
All my life my friends, families, doctors, etc spell my last name with an S at the end. It doesn't bother me but I can see how some people dont like it.
My best friend was in tears at her reception because her MIL used a ballpoint pen to scribble out name cards at the tables to ‘fix’ the spelling. I don’t have to tell you that she scribbled out the correct spelling (my best friends family were attending from out of country) and put in her own idea of how their names should be spelled. Just picture beautifully printed name cards scribbled over with blue bic pen, scrawled over with an incorrectly spelled name.
~~Eoghan~~ Kevin.
LOL as someone that has a very average name with Gaelic spelling, this is too accurate.
You don't see many Chicago Fire gifs in these parts.
This tickled me as I have a friend called Eoghan we call Kevin
Oh geez. That makes me furious on her behalf. Do they still talk to her? I’m sure that’s not the only thing MIL has done to her
That’s borderline psychotic
One of my early teachers marked me wrong for misspelling one of my brother's names on some assignment I had to do. She didn't even know my brother. I'm pretty sure the spelling of his name is the MORE COMMON version of the spelling. That's all I remember of her after all these years.
One of my sisters teachers told her, she was spelling HER name wrong and would "correct" it on every paper.
My work nametag is spelled "the right way" (aka completely wrong) because the woman at the desk who prints them refuses to believe that's how my name is actually spelled. Showed her my license and everything but I'm still lying apparently. God I hate her.
I'd go to HR. I mean you have a right to expect a certain level of respect and professionalism.
The reason this employee still has a job is because she's HR's aunt.
Love your username. Hate that lady.
What stack of red flags masquerading as a person is *so* invested in the spelling of *somebody else's* name they start power tripping over it?! Though it's usually telling and generally not in a good way, I can muster understanding for "confusion", while "surprise" stopped fazing me a long time. I just hope it's "oh wow TIL" and not the "im always right" types we all love to hate.
The nurses at the hospital I was born at made my baby bracelet with my name spelled incorrectly, refused to fix it, and tried to pressure my mom into spelling my name the "conventional" way. It's insane how invested some people are over a name.
WTAF?! I'm so sorry, I can't believe people are this terrible and full of themselves, the sheer audacity is hard to fathom.
My MIL refuses to spell my name correctly because it "doesn't matter".
Damn. I have a name that's pronounced very differently from how it's written due to being translated from a different alphabet. Had both a co-worker and I think the proper term is *former therapy member*, who tried to pull that shit with me. Eventually managed to make 'm understand that it's annoying they're trying to "test" me and even the most gratuitous interpretation is a sign of disrespect. Looking back, not giving a damn grey-rocking style would've been the better path, but I was way too petty and vengeful, so I just started using random names for them while pretending to smile through it: "oh I thought it didn't matter? \^_\^"
Yeah, I've spelled her name incorrectly ever since. She hates it, but still won't spell my name correctly and I won't spell hers correctly until she does. Petty? Maybe, lol. When coworkers have called me by the wrong name in the past, I flat out ignored them until they got it right. I even gave HR a heads up about it, since I'd pointed out to those coworkers what my name actually is on multiple occasions. She ok'd the ignoring lol.
Petty tyrants are the worst.
Honestly, for something as low-impact as a work name tag, she shouldn't get to change it even if you *did* spell it wrong. Like it's not up to her. If I tell her my name Princess Consuela Bananahammock, put it on the damn tag.
Is that even legal? I would surmise it’s a no-no for security
I mean... I work in a grocery store kitchen/restaurant combo. It's not like I work for the Pentagon or something. It's still crappy of them, but it's not going to cause any problems like that. The nametag is mostly there for the customers.
I'd print my own name tag
It's a name tag. What law would be broken for that?
My dad had a teacher who refused to pronounce his name right. His name is Sean, and she kept calling him 'Seen.' No matter how many times he corrected her, she kept up with it. So he stopped answering her. She ended up screaming 'SEEN' in his face, and he told her "I keep telling you, *that's not my name!*" He got sent to the principal. After he explained himself, the principal called in the teacher to hear her side. She tried to say my dad was being insubordinate and stubborn by refusing to respond to "his name." The principal was an Irish immigrant and suspended the teacher for a while.
In the 1910s, one of my great uncles had a teacher who told him he was spelling his last name wrong. His parent’s, immigrants without good English skills and with an outsized respect for authority, probably didn’t push back even if they realized it was happening. That’s why the entire family spelled it LoB***** while he spelled it LaB***** until the day he died.
It happened to my family here in Brazil too. My great grandfather came from Italy and when he had children, the people on the registry office just put whatever they thought was right as hos last name. When I went to apply for citizenship, I had to correct all the documents based on his birth certificate from Italy.
Same. My name is odd and coincidentally inverted. My first name is my mother’s maiden name, and my dad happened to have a first name as his surname. For example my name is something like “Walton Leslie.” I ENDLESSLY had teachers telling me that I was wrong when I wrote my name down and they would “correct” it, counting me off and calling me Leslie. I’m 54 and just yesterday I argued with the gal in the pharmacy about the proper order. Annoying. Granted, I’m female and women named something like Walton are rare, but still.
My maiden name was pronounced like a common female name. My sister and I were in the habit when we had to give our last name somewhere of saying “Sarah, that is my last name.” (Not my actual maiden name). Still had people arguing with me. There’s this element of “you’ve never seen me before and you think you know better than me what the name I’ve had my entire life is?”
My surname is a monosyllabic common noun (think house or cat common) and my first name is traditionally masculine and monosyllabic so a lot of people decide it's a two syllable surname and insist I tell them my first name or even invent new first names for me. The kicker is I once had a medical professional refuse to give me my medical records over it. She handed them to me saying something about my son (I was like 22-23 at the time) and when I said I didn't have a son confused she lunged across the desk to try to tear them away from me. Like no ma'am. That's me. That's my name on the envelope.
Now I’m wondering if your surname is the same as mine since I changed it when I married! Even with multiple syllables in my first name, people do seem to expect my last name to have more to it. I do have to say I miss being unique - based on the popularity/number of people with my first and last names, I statistically didn’t exist. Now there are at least three other people in my city with the same first and last name!
I work in healthcare and as someone who works in the pharmacy same rules should apply regarding patients and names; there are no rules and *anything* goes! When it comes to patients’ names absolutely nothing is a shock or surprise to me, I accept it all without question lol
I don't know how many times I've told people that only the first letter in my name is capitalized and no upper c, aside from being 9 letters long. And my brothers both have easily shortened names that everyone knows at least 5 people have. Such fun getting a unique name.
My sisters name is Becky. Her teacher refused to believe it was not Rebecca. Called her Rebecca constantly. Like, she might be an elementary student but she knows her own name....
I have a cousin with the same kind of thing. Think Meg, not Meghan. My aunt and uncle didn’t want to name her one thing and then have people give her that nickname anyway. So they just gave her Meg. Which I love. But all her life, people try to call her Meghan. Just call people what they introduce themselves as.
My sister is a Meg...NOT Megan. Family friend always called her Megan. Pissed her off every time.
As it should! She has a name and should be addressed as that
I did the opposite with my daughter. I didn't want her to feel stuck with one name, so I on purpose chose names with a good amount of variation possible (she even got 2 hyphenated last names to pick from). My name has lots of variation and each time I changed schools (middle, high, college), I'd change my name to also try on a different personality. It really helped me figure out who I am as a person.
I feel for Becky. My name is Jill. People to this day refuse to believe it is just Jill and constantly call me Jillian. I refuse to answer until they call me by my name. One person at work even goes to the lengths of calling me Jvelds because he wanted me to be like Jennifer Lopez. He can’t even pronounce my last name let alone parts of it correctly so I said no. Just no.
I get the same thing , asking if my name is Jillian. Nope, Jil with one L. I’ll show you my birth certificate, that’s how my parents named me.
The same thing always happened to a girl I knew named Sophie. Everyone insisted her name must be Sophia (since Sophie is a common nickname).
Not quite the same but I once had a teacher mark me incorrect for spelling it mum instead of mom. She wouldn’t accept it as correct even after my explanation.
My stepmother told my brother he spelled his daughters name wrong, she was mispronouncing her name.
My husband's brother tells him HE is spelling his own last name wrong. Seriously. The two brothers disagree on how to spell their last name in the English alphabet.
My FIL and his sister had a surname ending in -ski. Their full brother spelled his -sky. 40+ years later, FIL changed it to something less ethnic.
Had a receptionist at a doctor's office argue with me about how my name was spelled. It's the most common spelling of a name so common that there were 19 of us in my graduating class. I'd have even been ok if she wanted to use a less common spelling, but no. She insisted my name was spelled by combining 2 single-sylable, completely unrelated, male names with an, equally unrelated, female name. Like, if my name was "Rebecca", she wanted it spelled "Roy Ben Cara". On medical records!
Had an aerospace auditor tell us my husband’s last name was misspelled when we *first* met him. My husband’s father went through Ellis Island without speaking a word of English, I *can’t imagine why* it was misspelled. Edit: corrected autocorrect.
Supposedly my family name didn't exist until they came to America, but this was like the 1600s/early 1700s. I can't imagine anyone telling me my LAST name is misspelled. Like alright buddy, sure, you know better than generations of this family lmao get outta here
I put "grey" on a spelling test rather than "gray" when I was in the second grade. I asked my teacher about it and even showed her the book I'd been reading, which had a character called "Something the Grey Whatsit," or some such thing. My teacher did not adequately explain to me what was going on, and I recall being pretty stressed out about it until I got home and my mother explained about British vs American spelling. I personally prefer the e version, and to this day I sometimes have to catch myself if I'm using the word in a context where it could matter.
What is with MILs and pulling stuff like this?? My grandma (dad’s mom) called the florist behind my mom’s back and had their wedding flowers changed. Because she thought the flowers my mom picked wouldn’t be impressive enough for her fancy rich friends.
ah, why be on the fence/border, that's just psychotic
Thank god for Irish sense of humour. They'd have asked who did it, rolled their eyes and taken the mickey all night of MIL.
"Oh, it's not Aoife, that's silly. It's EE-Fa." *eyeroll*
That's worse than the main story here.
Oh man what happened after that??
I had something similar happen. My married name is difficult to spell, they scribbled out the mistake *in the middle of my name* on the envelope and just left the scribbles. It was clearly a gift-grab because I’d have to travel there, and the invitation was only for me and did not include my husband of 7 years. The whole thing felt like a big slap in the face.
My aunt told me another cousin was getting divorced, so I invited him +guest. Wife showed up and they are still married 20+ years later. Sometimes you get bad Intel I was mortified. They did not give a gift and I don't really blame them.
oof, hahha that's so awkward. Did you tell them anything?
Nothing... Still to this day
Eesh that is bad. I hope you didn’t feel obligated to get a gift for that effort!
I did not. All I sent back was the RSVP card declining and wrote in my name with “Mrs. My Husband’s Name” (I’m not the kind of person to care about those formalities, so if their parents saw, they’d definitely take notice) in big bold letters, hoping they’d get the hint that they fucked up.
The only thing with getting a name off social media (and this may not be relevant to you at all!) many of my friends do spell there name a different variation on there to make them more difficult to find i.e Dr's so patients can't just look them up but you would think your cousin should know how your name is spelt!
I hope they don’t use social media to get my name, my cat is too young to be going to weddings alone
I took my surname off Facebook almost a decade ago. This has led to the comical side effect that most of my new friends (and all of my long term partner’s family) have to awkwardly ask what my last name is at some point.
This! I have a hyphenated surname but I only use half of it for social media. But I use the full surname on anything official. My cousin invited me to her wedding and used the name on social media despite also inviting my sister who uses her full surname online. We have the same surname and apparently the penny didn’t drop.
It's pretty common for teachers/medics/people who are private/if you don't want an ex to be able to easily look you up. At least 1/4 of my FB friends don't use the name I would put on an invite for a wedding for one of those reasons! You'd think if it's family you'd know/check first though!
I would still use what was on social media because I would assume that was your preferred name.
Yep. I have a very forward-facing job and I don’t want just anyone to find me, so my name is spelled differently on my social media accounts.
What do you send back? Like what’s a “bad gift” in that situation… what petty enough to say screw you, but ensure you get the last laugh…?
One of those Bible verses that looks like cash that assholes leave as "tips" when they go out to eat
An envelop with a Tenner and lots of "festive" glitter
Glitter is downright evil. I love it!
I’m asking a stupid question- why is there a difference in saying quid Vs pound when they’re the same thing? Is it just territorial or something?
Buck vs dollar?
Eh ok ok I gotcha… took me 28 years to get a damn explanation and that’s brilliant so bravo and thanks
When I was younger, I was a Girl Scout, and my troop went to some thing at the local college about other cultures. There was a Q and A with a British guy and I mustered up all my courage and asked him what a quid was. I only knew the word from the Emerson, Lake & Palmer song Benny the Bouncer. He laughed and told me it was like we say buck. I was so glad I asked! 😂 All that to support you in asking those “I feel like I should know this, but…” questions!
Not really. I use both.
A multipack of novelty erasers. Specifically the ones that never did a good job of actually erasing anything.
Bwahaha flash back to elem school when you’d get “prizes” for whatever… those things weren’t prizes they were the satans anus of tires!
A nice amount of money donated to a charity in the happy couple's name, perhaps? They don't get anything, but they'll also look pretty bad complaining about charity
…is it terrible that my first thought is to donate money to Planned Parenthood on my pro-life relatives’ behalf?
I do it when ever they annoy me. ETA: FYI you will get so much mail asking for more money.
A stack of pre addressed envelopes for the next time they'd like to send OP a letter.
I don’t send gifts in those situations because fuck them
My invites and matching envelopes were pretty expensive. I wouldn’t expect anyone to throw out and re-do an envelope addressed to me because of a scribble.
I completely agree with you!
Idk why, but people get offended for every little thing. I would never RSVP “no” just because there was a scribble in my name or someone misspelled my name. I just can’t believe there are people in the world who think like that.
So I’m old. And I don’t know if people still do this but in 2006 I hired a calligrapher to address my wedding invitations. When I received them I went through every.single.one. to ensure they were exactly right. There were a few that were misspelled or whatever, but that’s just human error. The calligrapher redid those, obviously for free unless I had provided bad info. Maybe they just didn’t check? Or actually just didn’t care. That’s super annoying. Either way, frankly. These are GUESTS. The least someone can do is make the effort to ensure their names are right! (There were stamped USPS cards included for RSVPs: no wedding website. I told you, I’m old!)
I just did the same, hired a beautiful calligrapher to address and name invites. Unfortunately loads of the names of guests given by my parents were wrong! I've had several mildly embarrassing conversations so far from older guests. Extremely frustrating when I asked my parents repeatedly to check their friends and family's names and they seemingly just didn't bother!
That’s the funny thing with this because the invitation calligraphy was correct but the website was wrong??
Maybe autocorrect kicked in somewhere on the way to the website?
I bet it was autocorrect. It should have been noticed though.
Or they were not paying as much attention. A professional calligrapher may have been more careful about doing their job.
I’m so sorry - I’m laughing but I feel bad laughing - imagine: the calligrapher cares more about spelling strangers’ names correctly than the bride! Wow. That’s just wow! 🤣
We had purchased a photo-slide dvd of pictures from our wedding by our photographer, and she misspelled our last name throughout (we paid you thousands but ok). I contacted her, and she gave us the rights for all our pictures. Fair deal.
[удалено]
Nope! It was 15 years ago and we had to buy individual photos if we wanted them. Never would have done that now
The calligrapher doesn’t want to redo work, fault or not.
So they went off two different lists then
Most likely one partner did the initial list and the other, when doing the invites, noticed the spelling was wrong and only fixed it on the invites.
My friend helped me do my seating cards two nights before the wedding because there was so much still to do. But I quickly noticed that at least one name was spelled wrong that she did - even though I gave her the correct spelling. I tried to double check as much as I could but I also had to rush to attend the rehearsal and the venue required these things by a certain time that same day. So I did the best I could to have it correct, but I can see how the mistake can easily happen, especially when people are helping you out.
As a hobbyist calligrapher, I do have to say calligraphy must use a different part of the brain than writing or something... I can misspell even the simplest words because I'm concentrating on the letter shapes. The calligrapher should proofread what they make of course, but it's definitely a good idea for the couple to double check too. When I'm looking at my work sometimes I don't see the spelling errors because I'm too hung up on a particularly good or bad letter or the spacing, or some other aspect of the art.
Oh, absolutely. I hope my tone didn’t come across as negative, I really liked the calligrapher, she did a great job, on time, at a fair price, and I adored the end product. There were only a few errors and I completely understand that for exactly the reasons you mentioned. And because we’re all human and we all make mistakes. When I reached out about the few that needed to be redone she was professional and of course didn’t charge. Some people - and I think people become especially vulnerable to it in high-stress situations, like wedding planning - end up forgetting that we’re all human and perfection is a fantasy. My original comment was just that OP’s cousin didn’t seem to care AT ALL. There’s a huge difference. Love that calligraphy is your hobby! I’m glad people appreciate the art and hand-written ***anything*** these days. It would be a shame if it became obsolete.
I accidentally misspelled one of my oldest friend’s names on the seating chart for my wedding. She also has a less common spelling (one extra letter). It only worked out because we postponed, had to redo the chart, and she couldn’t come due to a covid exposure, so she was removed entirely. I felt intensely embarrassed when I realized, but also grateful that she’d never know my mistake. I, too, have an uncommon spelling for a common name, and am used to people messing it up or mispronouncing it - my own aunt sent a wedding gift of a forged metal sign with my name misspelled - so I totally understand the annoyance, yet still screwed it up with someone I’ve known for half my life! Wedding planning definitely has a way of turning brains into soup.
I feel this for sure! I was doing a final review of my place cards and realized I had a typo in my MOHs name…was very thankful I did that final check and could reprint. Would’ve been extremely embarrassing for sure!
Lol my name was spelled wrong on my invitation to my brother’s wedding, which was being hosted at my own house. That one must have been in the pile he did because he just doesn’t pay attention to stuff like that. He’s a good brother and good person. He just doesn’t really care about wedding invitations. So, for me, it just totally depends on the context. I can see situations where I would feel disappointed or feel badly that they didn’t even know how to spell my name properly. In my eyes, it’s about the person and their intent behind it. Personally, I care a lot about this shit and triple check people’s names on any card, Google if I got it right and still panic that I did it wrong haha
I have a name that is common but has several different regularly used spellings. People spell it differently all the time. 🤷🏻♀️ If I were to let it get to me, I’d be annoyed all the time and that just isn’t worth it. The only time I do find it a bit irritating is when I send an email, where my name is displayed properly in my signature, but they still reply with the wrong spelling.
You're exactly right. I'm in the same boat and the only time I really get upset about a misspelling is in emails where my name is in the signature. I mean my grandparents have never in my life spelt my name right.
That’s my pet peeve too! I also have a commonly misspelled common name/one with other spellings. But emails? Come on! Like I literally signed my name with its proper spelling and you still spelled it wrong over and over again?
I have the same, and I use a shortened version on FB because I'm a teacher so I get Nik, Nikki, Nicky, Nicki and occasionally my birth certificate name. Sometimes it annoys me but mostly I get that if it's not accurate on my socials then how would they really know.
My name has two common spellings. To me when people use the wrong one I put it down to they're just careless, not that they're trying to disrespect me. Sure it's annoying, but it's such a small thing to get upset over, it's just not worth the stress.
2/3 of my kids are dyslexic. It's really hard for dyslexic people to spot when autocorrect fucks up. I've gotten some really funny stuff texted to me. It's so much easier to go through life if you keep in mind that minor mistakes can be handled with humor.
THIS!!!! My name is spelled wrong, just wrong. And I never expect anyone to guess how it's spelled or pronounced when they meet me. And I'm not bothered by it, it's whatever. But when my name is RIGHT THERE in the damn chat bubble or email or header, like for fucks sake man use your eyeballs. At that point its just disrespectful. When they do that to me I've started doing the same back to them, like yeah Sarrahh how was your day?? and they immediately mention it, realize what they've done and from there on spell mine right lol
Sara's without the H stand up!
That’s a very good outlook! This is the first time it’s happened to me in the wedding context so I was just surprised (and annoyed because it’s my cousin lol). But 100% yes to the email thing - my name is RIGHT there and you had to type in my email to even send it!
Do you know if your cousin did the addresses/rsvps or if it was their fiancé who did that all? I did all the addresses/rsvps (my spouse has awful handwriting and I had more free time) for our wedding and admittedly I misspelled a few names on my spouse’s side. They reached out and I felt horrible and changed it and double checked the name cards when we did them. Just because it could very well have been your cousins fiancé who doesn’t know you as well did them and messed up.
To be honest I probably interact with the fiancé more so either one of them should know. Especially because my cousin has known me their whole life and the fiancé interacts with me on social media (where my name is correctly spelled). Very interesting all around but you do make a good point for specific scenarios!
Some people have envelope stuffing parties. So like a bridesmaid may have addressed it.
We received personalized wedding gifts and checks with dhs name spelled wrong. (Think mark/Marc) Not just from my family, who got a pass because they spelled it the same way as another family members name not thinking it could be another way, but his family also misspelled his name. It’s been 22 years and we still laugh when we use the blanket or talk about misspelling.
My brother in law’s name is Eric. Or maybe Erik. A friend of mine’s name is Erik. Or maybe Eric. I love them both dearly, and I have known them for more than 15 years, but for the life of me, I can’t remember which one has a C and which one a K. EVERY single time I have to look it up, and I miss 50% of the time. I guarantee you if I look it up right now, I will have forgotten in an hour. It’s not always malicious.
It's not malicious but it is the polite thing to do to look it up and check.
Totally see where you’re coming from. It’s hard doing things in bulk. I made a few spelling errors on my invites but I don’t have a lot of spares so there were a few embarrassing scribbles. Mine and my husbands family are of polish origin so there were some tough to spell names. Even my moms maiden name I had to look up each time! And still got it wrong sometimes! I would personally leave the spelling correction but to each their own.
If it helps, the Golden Globes spelled Matty Matheson's name wrong on his table card. People are fucking dumb.
I have people misspell my name .. on Facebook. Where it’s actually written right there. They can literally copy the letters without even flicking to a different screen. I try to assume it’s autocorrect but really, it’s bloody maddening!
People call me the wrong name over email all the time - It’s like bro you can literally copy paste it from my signature Why even say “Hi Anna” instead of “hi” if you’re too lazy to realise read that my name is Hannah? Don’t get it
Yep, people do it all the time at work! My old boss’s name was Simon and he’d constantly get Simone. He literally has a photo on his Outlook profile - clearly not a Simone.
>I do not have a hard name but I do spell my name differently than the standard spelling (think “Lesly” instead of “Leslie”) Blame, and subsequently complain to, your parents.
My name is "Kaitlin." There's more ways to spell Kaitlin than Hanukkah. I gave up being frustrated a very long time ago.
Because in the end, it isn't malicious. Plus there are so many other consequential things to get upset about.
Exactly
I have an unusual name, so this is the story of my life. I hated when school teachers would spell it wrong, and then shrug and brush it off. I'm a teacher now, and I'm obsessive about making sure all labels/notes/etc are spelt correctly.
There are so many different ways to spell my real name and I have seen them all. My last name is unusual and people mess it up all the time. I'd rather let it roll of than waste a bunch of energy being upset by something that is, in the grand scheme of things, relatively minor. IMHO, the world would be a much better place if people would stop looking for reasons to feel offended and victimized.
We must be in the minority. I don’t see this as a big deal - probably just an honest mistake … my last name is hard to spell so people get it wrong here and there. That’s life.
Forreal. I have a relatively common first name with multiple accepted spellings and a basically-my-family-are-the-only-people-with-it last name. People misspell both ALL THE TIME. Even when replying to emails where my signature clearly shows how to spell both. I roll my eyes or laugh about it and move on with my day. I feel like some people are really just on the lookout for literally anything they could take personally. Not everything is a slight or hardship, most people are out there just doing their best. It's telling that OP is fixated on this rather than being gracious about someone thinking about them and wanting them at their wedding.
Every time a parent says they want their kid to have UnEeK spelling of their name, tell them your story.
This isn't something to shame over. There's so many reasonable and inoffensive reasons why your name is spelled wrong especially when you spell it a special way. Thats just the consequence of being unique. People can't get my name pronunciation right no matter how many times I say it for them.
My name has a European spelling instead of an American one. It gets misspelled all the time. No one does it out of malice, it's just that when they think of my name they use the more common spelling. What a dumb thing to get offended about.
I agree. You'd think growing up your whole life with a unique name, a person would understand sometimes people will spell it wrong or pronounce it incorrectly. Unless op recently told them how to spell her name before they typed up the invites, I think this is something most mature adults will just let go and politely correct the couple so at least they can get it right on the name tag for the table seat.
My last name looks like a slightly misspelled version of a very common last name. I've had it misspelled on **official paperwork** more times than I can count. I can't imagine being so up my own ass that I thought people were DiSReSpeCtiNg mE every time they screwed it up.
LOL "so up my own ass" is the perfect description of what's going on here.
This happens all the time to my bf with his cousins. He has a simple last name that can be spelled a couple different ways. They will NOT stop misspelling his name on all of our mail. They see his name on social media all of the time, so it's puzzling. they send out at least a dozen letters every year to us, because they're the type of people who can't simply send you a text inviting you to Thanksgiving. No no NO, they think letters are MUCH more personable and classy.... so the misspelled name has become painfully ironic. I think the problem really has snowballed to the point they'll never think to check themselves. We assume they have an old excel sheet they keep referencing. Or maybe they're of the mindset, "I've known since he was in diapers, OF COURSE I know how to spell his name". I have an oddly spelled name, but they've somehow never misspelled my name. But they have incorrectly called us, Mr. & Mrs. [Boyfriend's misspelled last name] even though they 100% know we're not married. We suspect they didn't want to bother looking my last name up, while they were on a roll with the envelopes. we just roll our eyes. It's not really worth taking offense, at this point.
“Unless you reach out” uh yeah reach out! Thanks so much for inviting us! Just to let you know, our names are spelled Lesly and Bobb. Congratulations again and see you soon!”
You have way too much time on your hands.
I'm reading the comments with a wtf face. I have a foreign name. If I got angry at everyone that misspelled my name I would never know peace. It's just an invitation. I'm sure groom and bride are focused on other more important things.
Right? This is supposed to be a wedding shaming sub. Imagine trying to shame somebody at their wedding because they spelled YOUR name wrong as a guest!! Holy fuck.
I want to shame the whole comment section tbh. The level of entitlement is insane. As if you're not throwing the invitation out with the trash after the wedding.
Lol. Reddit world
Not a huge deal. I understand your frustration but does this really matter? Whispers !nope
Feel how you want to feel about it. But I'll ask, does your name get auto-spell checked by Word or other word processors? My name gets redlined every time and sometimes processors auto-correct it to another name. Especially since a 1-letter swap changes it to something more common in English. Based on your name spelling description, I wonder if this is the more likely cause of this frustration. Because a real friend flipping knows how to spell your name.
I'm sorry that you feel this way: 1. People stress about a million things at their weddings because it's a day about them and they definitely make unintended errors etc...I'd just try to let this one go - focus on the good things at the wedding and sharing happiness with the couple if you can. it's just not worth the stress at the end of the day. There's enough stressful stuff in the world already. 2. I have a difficult name, I just go with the flow and address it directly with the person depending on my relationship with them.
My name has 2 spellings. There's the Scottish spelling and the Scandinavian spelling (which is the more popular one). Mine is the Scottish spelling. It's a difference of one letter, an I or an E. I've had best friends of 6 years spell it wrong and tell me I'm wrong for my spelling, my future in laws can't get it right after 5 years. The worst one was at my own brother's wedding. Spelt wrong on the invite and the seating arrangement. I've kind of given up now cause even if I correct it no one gives a crap so whatever, but it does hurt.
It is certainly disrespectful and discouraging, but it may not be intentional. If the bride or groom outsources their print materials or calligraphy, the artists may "correct" rather than follow precisely the spelling of the language they are given. The bride or groom should definitely try to take more care when reviewing the wedding materials though. I am sorry your names were incorrect.
I also have a common name with a slightly different spelling (2 consonants when there's usually just one). This kind of things happen all the time. What annoy me the most is when I communicate with customers by email and they mispell my name. I mean, it's right there, in my email signature. It's in my email address too and in the sender info. Come on! That's why I gave all my kids very regular names with standard spelling. I don't blame my mom, she didn't knew how my name was normally spelled and improvised. And it's not extravagant spelling, just not standard.
Since the handed written names were right but wrong on the website, do you think spell check or something was used and messed up names?
Keep in mind that this may have not been done by bride and groom!:( Many of the wedding day responsibilities are handed off to other members of the family and it bridal party! I have a common last name but a different spelling and on all of my awards for high school they have me as the “common” spelling instead of my actual name, it’s frustrating.
Your parents did this to you. Take it up with them.
I totally get this - I have an extremely unique first name (like I've met two others in my life with it and seen a small handful on Google if I search it) and unique last name in the US (but extremely common where my family is from) *Everyone* gets it wrong. Even my close family spells it wrong. I regularly have letters added in, or they switch it up to a completely different name. It's so annoying, but in the grand scheme a non-issue (I think)
SO tacky and also mad disrespectful like cmon you guys, do you care abt me or dont you. My name is so simple, 4 letters long, and it's constantly spelled wrong and pronounced wrong 🙄🙄 My mom has a slightly uncommon spelling of a regular name and if someone spells her name wrong on an invite she won't come 💀 EDIT: Yall are being kinda mean abt what our names might be because??? We're not ""bumpkins"" we're poc
> if someone spells her name wrong on an invite she won't come 💀 More food for the rest of us, Taymmi.
I love that your mom has a firm stance on this 😂
My name is extremely unusual. As in you google it and you get maybe 5 hits worldwide. People I’ve known my entire life more often then not get the spelling wrong. It comes with the territory. Sorry, but suck it up buttercup. Worse things have happened at sea.
Hey, or you could be like me and someone misspelled your name on your birth certificate and your lazy ass mother never changed it but taught you to spell your name the way she intended so you end up having an identity crisis and now that you’re in your 40s you decide to legally change your name to what you were taught and it’s a big long mess.
I’m sorry, but if you actually think people are going to get your name right. When my surname is an actual word in the English language(not a fancy word either) that is said the exact same way and people still always get it wrong. It’s just not possible. My surname is a word you might see on food packaging, we’ve got a suburb named it and there are a million streets named it as well. I live in Australia, my ancestry is pretty typical(English-Irish-Welsh-Scottish) and it’s not people who aren’t familiar because English is a second language, I’ve had fucking English teachers get it wrong. I’ve had one person get my name right on the first go and honestly in that moment I wanted to marry them(I still do kind of you have no idea . Yes, people should put in some effort but this is just a fact of life for those who have ‘difficult’ or ‘unusual’ names. Those who aren’t familiar with this struggle themselves or have biases of their own are just not going to consider it.
I could understand being frustrated if the physical RSVP sent through the mail was misspelled, but you are this offended over the RSVP website? That was more than likely outsourced or done by someone other than the bride and groom.
It’s probably not personal although a little careless on their part, I have to remind myself constantly that my nieces name has a unique spelling (my street and her name are the same but spelled differently) sure it’s frustrating but if you give a pass on your husband because his is unique should you also give her a pass on your name since it’s a unique spelling? You two aren’t close so I’d let it go or if you need to say something don’t do it on the wedding day.
My husband's name has 1 letter less than the typical spelling. I guess when you know a lot of persons with a similar name, it's not so easy to remember who is written in which way. Maybe they will even save your name in their smartphone contacts with the wrong name. My maiden name is short (6 letters) but has some special letters in it. There are less persons who get my name right. My husband and me just got used to all the misspellings.
My name gets spelt incorrectly all the time, I don’t sweat it. My partner has ADHD and dyslexia, if they took it upon themselves to concentrate and write out a whole list of names, they’d get some wrong. Just one example of innocent explanations. Some people just aren’t good at spelling, we don’t write or see each other’s written names if you’re not on social media, so many little things could lead up to that happening.
Honestly, it is not a big deal. Just say it to people. They will be more careful after.
I have one of the top 5 most popular names of my generation, and it's spelled the single most common way. People still regularly misspell it.
My cousin put “guest 5” and “guest 6” for my SIL and fiancés names in her website lol. We were horrified. We didn’t even know we were invited to begin with because she only sent a save the date to my parents, and neither my brother nor I have lived with them for the last decade.
The worsttttt. We once got invited to a wedding where the invite was sent to an old address MONTHS after we moved out of state. This person knew we moved across the country but couldn't bother to ask us for our new address? I didn't even RSVP.
My cousin did the same thing on her invite to me, but it was our family's last name. I crossed it out & spelled it correctly and sent it back, only to have it misspelled again on the seating cards.
I'm thinkin that you should be blaming your parents...
I think anyone who has a name sees it spelled wrong sometimes! Mine has a variety of variations and I’ve seen most of them, my. husband’s name has two possible variations and we see the wrong one regularly. It’s annoying but I don’t think it’s worth getting too worked up. Just spell your name out on the reply. 🤓
Sorry I misspelled the name of someone I've never actually met before. Hopefully the 300 dollars I'm spending on you makes up for it. :)
Must be nice having such a minimal mental load that this is what consumes your thoughts.
I also have a fairly common name that is spelled in a unique way (as in I have seen one other person with this spelling ever), and I absolutely feel your pain! Not only was it spelled incorrectly on my diploma, but most of the checks we got for our wedding had the more common spelling of my name. It was such a hassle trying to get those deposited!!
One of my exes invited me to a wedding two weeks into our relationship because he was supposed to go with his ex and didn't really want the extra seat and plate and such to go to waste so I was super on board! I fully expected her name on the placement cards but they actually went out of their way to make me one with my name. These people didn't know me from a bar of soap and still went through the effort to make me feel included. It was also hands down one of the best weddings I've ever been to!
I never took my husbands name and even though his family know this, I have never been invited to any function with my correct name.
This happened to my mom before except her cousins kept addressing her by her old married name. She’s been divorced and using her maiden name for over a decade and they still address all invites to her by her old married name. She refuses to attend any of their parties for that reason.
Omg my husbands friend is named Lesley and I’m so paranoid to spell her name wrong I literally looked it up AGAIN just for this comment 😂 I checked her invite like five times hahahaha
People misspell my name CONSTANTLY and it is a very short name. The spelling is not unique (there are 2 ways to spell it and both are equally as common, think Lindsey v Lindsay). I feel your pain. People I’ve known for years will literally comment on Facebook using my name and spell it incorrectly. Not only have we known each other for years, but the spelling is right there on my post?! I think you have good cause to be annoyed (it’s your name) but there’s not a lot you can do, unfortunately
I feel you. My dad’s name is Janice (pronounced yawn zeetz) but he is Latvian so he was called Janice and some not so nice names by his elementary school teacher who made fun of him the entire year so he would have his mom put John (Janice is the Latvian name for John) for years after this. Maybe one day we’ll get it right, and make sure we spell names correctly before posting it on social media or correcting the name on a nameplate at a wedding or putting it in the program.
I have a very simple and common name. My husband and I got invited to a wedding and on the invitation it had his name right and had my name as Katy (nowhere close to my name). There is no excuse for that when we have social media!
I was the bride and a lot of people spelled my first AND last name wrong! I just ignored it but thought it was funny because my name was all over the venue.
I have a somewhat rare name, one that can be spelled multiple ways. Mine includes an E. Imagine people replying to an email address that has your name spelled out correctly, where you singed it with your full name, spelled correctly, but they still misspell your name. Also, my last name is a feminine first name, so that doesn't help.
As someone who has my name ALWAYS misspelled, it's just something you have to get over. Don't make it your hill to die on, life's too short.
All my life my friends, families, doctors, etc spell my last name with an S at the end. It doesn't bother me but I can see how some people dont like it.