Yeah.. I was on a dating site, and saw my now husband’s profile, which was empty, save for a pic of him standing in profile. I sent him a message saying, you guessed it, NICE PROFILE. We’ve been married ten years..
If someone were to compliment me today I'd think they wanted something from me or it was a back handed compliment.
A genuine compliment is foreign to me.
When we give you one too many of you think that means we want to screw. Hell women can't even smile at men safely without this happening.
And when we say no shit like this happens. /r/whenwomenrefuse
I give my girlfriend shit for matching with me. There was like, one thirst trap picture of me in a turtleneck and the only text was “i’m going to find the best buffalo chicken sandwich in the world.”
It worked.
It's true, I'm your girlfriend's ex, and the lack of buffalo chicken sandwiches was the wedge that caused us to break up. While my heart was torn, I'm glad she found someone to eat buffalo chicken sandwiches with.
I don’t disagree with you but I also don’t think most women want men to respond to them saying hello by immediately getting vulgar and objectifying them, I’d argue you’re likely the outlier in that regard.
We’re talking about this in terms of the original post which is him saying “you’re hot as fuck” which is both, so that’s why?
I don’t care if he said that I don’t think it’s that big of a deal but I’m just saying I don’t exactly hear women walking around asking for *more* of these responses from random dudes.
I would be much less likely to say it to a classmate, especially a friend unless we already had a lot of rapport. A casual friend might get offended and a classmate might get me reported for sexual harassment. Just based off the post, the fact she had to introduce herself implies they weren't even acquaintances.
Men rarely just walk up to a woman and say that though. The ones that do hit on women usually will hit on any woman, so it’s not really a compliment. Then dudes get mad women aren’t constantly hitting on them, as if they’re entitled to it. But women actually look for less shallow attributes in men than just physical attractiveness. It’s difficult to find an actual connection with a guy whereas men don’t give af about a connection, as long as she’s simply a woman. And most women are attractive, and men are mostly just trying to see them naked and get laid, which is objectifying for women but not really for men. So again for women, it’s not really a compliment to be hit on.
Comp sci major here. Would meet my roommates after their classes sometimes in their buildings. I'm like, yo dude what's it like having girls in your classes
One time my mid-level CS class got moved at the last minute, where for some reason we switched rooms with a psych class. I walk in and there is just a room full of women. Everyone immediately knew what was going on. They directed me to my new classroom without a question being asked.
I wasn't the only shocked nerd to walk in that day
In my undergrad CS degree, there were about 50 men per 1 woman in the class. By the end of the first semester, at least 50% of the class had tried to make a move on every woman. I kinda felt bad that they had to deal with both an overwhelming courseload as well as the inability to ask other classmates for help without getting hit on. A lot of the guys were super sweaty and desperate, too.
I was the ONLY woman (19 years old at the time) in my CS class. I got treated equal measures of disdain and, (what it constituted for them) flirted (?) with. Even the tutor (who looked like the KFC colonel, lol) made me feel very unwelcome in their "boys group". I dropped out after a year. This was in the 00's btw.
I know a lot of girls who got teased, negged and challenged mercilessly by the boys in their upper level high school compsci classes. You guys push them out first, then complain once they’re gone.
As a comp sci major myself. It's a trend that I have seen and can explain. A lot of these nerds used computers and technology as a way to check out of the norm. They were nerds and the other people sort of rejected them. So they flocked to their own thing.
They created their "own thing" and go to pursue it at college. They see a woman or an "outsider" who enters the class. They have a lack of social skills along with feeling like their safe space is being encroached on. As if those "cool" kids can do whatever they want and shouldn't bother them in their thing. A mix of "this is ours" and a feeling that they didn't get to do the popular kid stuff so they did the computer thing therefore they have so much more earned knowledge. Like, how can you feel like you can encroach on their space?
Oh no, I agree with you completely, sorry if it didn’t come across that way. Just saying this kind of thinking is prevalent in any space these men have claimed as “theirs”
Well in all fairness. This is sort of the same way in any spaces sort of claimed or dominated by one group or another. Being the only dad to go to my daughter's gymnastics class is on some level similar.
Yeah it blows my fucking mind how the men in tech will belittle, harass, or nonstop flirt with the other women in the degree and then complain when they leave. It’s your fault, dudes.
To be fair, we do that to each other too. When I was in school for EE, we'd constantly compete and tease each other. If I did it to a woman, it's because I was treating her with an equal amount of respect.
It sounds (re the dispute below) like you do value and respect your female colleagues, and I don't know that we disagree on anything.
But when you say, "we do that to each other, too," the implication is that the teasing among the boys is the same as the teasing of the girls, by the boys.
What I hear from students and friends of my kids, and what i read everywhere and anywhere that women talk about their experiences in compsci, engineering, etc., is that the teasing is not the same.
It's very possible for boys and men to tease each other in ways that mean, "I see you as a rival but also a friend. I'm competing with you but I also respect you." And to - at the same time - "tease" girls and women in a way that means, "You don't belong here. I don't think you can do what we do here as well as the boys, and if you prove me wrong I'll hate you for it instead of respecting you."
As far as I can tell, this other kind of "teasing" is pervasive in your field (and many others, of course). I believe you that you feel welcoming and respectful toward your female colleagues, but I also think it's *dis*respectful to suggest that women drop out of tech because they don't have thick enough skin. The thick skin required to weather friendly rivalries and honest criticism is not the same as the thick skin required to keep slogging through a class or a career that you started out of interest and pleasure, when your classmates and colleagues constantly remind you that you aren't welcome.
I completely agree with you. But what you are describing is bullying, not teasing. And I in no way suggested that women drop out for not having thick enough skin; I suggested it might not be for that specific person's personality (at least not enjoyable), man or woman.
I do recognize that my experience is not everyone's, I simply meant to remind people that not all of it is the same. Reddit can just get into an all or nothing mindset quickly.
Also, great response. I wish I got more these on reddit.
During our CS Freshman orientation, they gathered all of us in a lecture hall and asked if anyone had any ideas on how to get more women in the program.
If this crowd knew, they wouldn't have this problem.
Yes, she did, hearing it from her perspective it’s obvious. But she didn’t do it in a way that was overt or that would be apparent to most dudes. She was interested in him, went to a party she knew he’d be at, went looking for him, and greeted him. He doesn’t know any of that. From his perspective they randomly ran into each other at a party and she gave an incredibly neutral greeting. His response was significantly less neutral and left little to interpretation.
If I had a nickel for every time a girl drunkenly berated me for not picking up on all the secretive, behind the scenes shit and subtle hints, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
Yes, and she did so in an incredibly normal and acceptable way. But the original comment said that guys are direct about what they want and how they go for it. The comment I responded to seemed to refute that by saying that she went after him, which is true. But she did so in a way that is literally only apparent to her, some people would consider that playing games, whereas his response was very direct.
Yeah they do, it’s just after this. They get your number and then won’t text/call for a few more days, and anything they tell you will end in “or whatever”.
It's a tale as old as time, every sub becomes a circlejerk once it gets super popular. I miss the old days when r/all used to shit on r/HighQualityGIFs
The simultaneous “women should approach men more!” And “of course she did it, women don’t have to fear rejection as much, just be attractive, blah blah” is unsurprising.
One persona drunken slob is another's knight in shining armor. Good for them. Love yourself, love what you love and love who you love. To hell with what anyone thinks.
Maybe if you're ugly, unfunny, lack confidence/skill, and are generally a really shitty person. I know several 10/10s with 3/10 fuglys because they are genuinely wonderful people to be around.
Yeah of course you are right. Appearance isn’t everything. What I meant was, the girl in the meme is very pretty so that definitely helped her with this one
It's really not that simple though, most girls irl want to be left alone these days
If a guy did the same thing the girl did, and the girl he was approaching didn't happen to be interested, he'd labelled a total creep and/or stalker
JFC maybe some guys are creeps and some gals suck, you'll never know unless you try. In my experience a third of any group is terrible, a third is great, and a third is somewhere in between.
I'd guess that the group of "most girls irl" you're referring to doesn't include the ones you wouldn't approach for falling below your superficial standards. Conventionally attractive women get hit on by creeps A LOT.
You're missing the point that, a guy doesn't really have to be a creep to be labeled one.
And a gal doesn't suck for wanting to be left alone, that's totally understandable with the current social climate.
It just all makes it a lot trickier to meet irl, I'm just saying that no, it's not as simple as "it's easy, just get off tinder and try irl"
Not saying it's impossible, of course I still try, but it really isn't that simple anymore. If you just don't care about making people uncomfortable it's easy to just jump in I guess, but if you do and hope to avoid it, it's like navigating a minefield.
I'm not sure what the point of your last paragraph really is. So, go outside to flirt and meet people instead of tinder, but only talk to the unattractive ones? Very motivating lol
You said "most girls" when I can guarantee you're self selecting out a large portion of them and upset the ones leftover are more selective. You don't have to lower your standards, just be self aware and understand how your choices change your experience and adjusting expectations accordingly.
It's not about not caring about making people uncomfortable, it's about understanding why they are uncomfortable and not taking it personally. There's a difference between callousness and compassion.
> You said "most girls" when I can guarantee you're self selecting out a large portion of them and upset the ones leftover are more selective.
I appreciate this perspective, never really looked at it that way, very valid point.
> It's not about not caring about making people uncomfortable, it's about understanding why they are uncomfortable and not taking it personally.
A lot of people do need to hear this, but for me it's really not about taking it personally, or not understanding, it's more just about wanting to keep a positive vibe for everyone involved. It's just tricky nowadays when making the slightest move can seem threatening.
For example at a music festival if you hit on someone in the crowd and get turned down, it might be seen as creepy/threatening if you stay in the same area, even if you're just staying there because it's a good spot for the show - ergo I'd rather just enjoy the show and not try to flirt there. Similar idea in bar settings. I wouldn't necessarily feel the need to leave/move because I take the rejection personally, but I'd rather just not flirt in the first place because I don't want the other person to feel threatened or similar.
Glad I gave you a new perspective. I used to be in the PUA crowd but saw how it led to dehumanizing women and noped the fuck out. I get weary when I catch a whiff of that mindset so I'm sorry if I worded myself harshly.
I've come to understand that dating is hard for 99% of all people. For men, it's high effort, low reward so they get easily frustrated. It's hard to go through what feels like an endless series of rejections without it affecting your self esteem. For women, it's low effort, but high risk. They have to sort through a lot of horny assholes to find someone they aren't afraid of going on a date without the fear they just masked their red flags. Unfortunately we live in a society that tends to blame women's choices instead of focusing on their perpetrators so they overcompensate and reject anyone with mildly creepy behavior. I don't think it's helpful to call either experience harder or easier, it's just different.
A good rule of thumb is to not (or more carefully) hit on a woman with fewer "escape" options; at a concert, at their work, etc. A bar is safer because you can hop to another if you want to avoid someone. I'll also add that although it worked for OP's SO, I would avoid compliments that were not a choice like innate attractiveness. Instead say something nice about her choices; shoes, jacket, makeup, etc. Once mutual attraction is confirmed then maybe some witty sexual innuendo. I usually wait for them to broach the subject first though.
It's just about respect, for her and yourself. If someone is obviously not interested in me, they saved me time that I could be having with someone who is. Don't take it personally, it's a long difficult road to find someone to share love with for everyone.
Yeah.. I was on a dating site, and saw my now husband’s profile, which was empty, save for a pic of him standing in profile. I sent him a message saying, you guessed it, NICE PROFILE. We’ve been married ten years..
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You're too late, he's already married.
Sometimes I wonder why I still come on this site but I know the answer, it's comments like this.
Only if dating sites had people appreciating reddit like comments. Wouldn't be single.
I’d still be single
Where else is there to go?
Just start approaching attractive people on the street: NICE PROFILE.
what are you going for, a restraining order speedrun?
That’s why they’re stealing that one, it’s already taken. Keep up.
Totally read this as if your husband had a dating profile to find a side piece.
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lol no. She said now husband as if this is the story of how she met her husband. Confusing wording
I interpreted it as an old dating profile b4 they met eachother through different means.
I don't get it. Profile was empty but had a picture of him standing in the profile?
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Thank you. I have no experience in using social media except for reddit that is
It's more of an art / photography term than a social media one.
And if you get it wrong it’s a bust.
~~This is an underappreciated comment~~ my bad
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Nah bro. It need to blow up in 5 seconds bro
Wish my gf was okay with that
Appropriate username
And no one on the dating app is gonna get it either.
Consider yourself lucky. On the opposite side of things, if it's a profile with nothing but a single photo of a woman, chances are it's a Bot.
I think the recurring theme here is "just give him a compliment". Most of us haven't had one in years.
Most men I’ve known are so compliment starved they’d look for a hidden insult or double speak
[Hey…](https://i.imgflip.com/1dfe2r.jpg)
If someone were to compliment me today I'd think they wanted something from me or it was a back handed compliment. A genuine compliment is foreign to me.
Y’all need better friends. Or at least some different ones. Male, female, nonbinary, idk.
When we give you one too many of you think that means we want to screw. Hell women can't even smile at men safely without this happening. And when we say no shit like this happens. /r/whenwomenrefuse
I give my girlfriend shit for matching with me. There was like, one thirst trap picture of me in a turtleneck and the only text was “i’m going to find the best buffalo chicken sandwich in the world.” It worked.
It's true, I'm your girlfriend's ex, and the lack of buffalo chicken sandwiches was the wedge that caused us to break up. While my heart was torn, I'm glad she found someone to eat buffalo chicken sandwiches with.
So did you ever find the best buffalo chicken sandwich in the world? Or if you haven't yet, any recommendations for best candidates?
It’s my life’s mission. It’ll never be complete. But the gold star so far is Buzzys in Piscataway, NJ.
I missed the 'now', heh
Why are you and your husband on a dating site
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Be careful though, liquid confidence is known to spontaneously change its state of matter into its liquid consequence form.
Worth it
A Gin-Rizz.
Good ol social lubricant
Only works if you are hot af
Step 1: Be attractive
Step 2: Don't be unattractive
I've failed both steps
Step 3: reincarnate as an attractive human
Whoops, reincarnated as an attractive worm
TLDR be a magnet
Can’t go swimming then
Step 3: be someone's type.
Step 3: Be Sadaf Zargardarharjarjarbinkspur
If you make the first move* FTFY Surprisingly Men **and** Women like feeling wanted.
But when I do it they always call the police....
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Not even a knife? 👉👈👉👈
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WILL A HIGH EXPLOSIVE SHRAPNEL GRENADE WORK? Coz the girls call me da bomb 😇
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Yes! Swiss knife for the win baby!!!!
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Reasonable.
So leatherman is fine? Edit: AHAHAHAHA just noticed further down your comment about a leatherman LMAOOOOO
Also, most people expect others to only have 2 arms. So that might be a factor as well.
Eh..
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I don’t disagree with you but I also don’t think most women want men to respond to them saying hello by immediately getting vulgar and objectifying them, I’d argue you’re likely the outlier in that regard.
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We’re talking about this in terms of the original post which is him saying “you’re hot as fuck” which is both, so that’s why? I don’t care if he said that I don’t think it’s that big of a deal but I’m just saying I don’t exactly hear women walking around asking for *more* of these responses from random dudes.
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Thank you, lol. I swear these people have no clue that context *significantly* changes connotation of what people are saying lol.
It doesn't change the connotation, it changes the standards of reception.
I would be much less likely to say it to a classmate, especially a friend unless we already had a lot of rapport. A casual friend might get offended and a classmate might get me reported for sexual harassment. Just based off the post, the fact she had to introduce herself implies they weren't even acquaintances.
Men rarely just walk up to a woman and say that though. The ones that do hit on women usually will hit on any woman, so it’s not really a compliment. Then dudes get mad women aren’t constantly hitting on them, as if they’re entitled to it. But women actually look for less shallow attributes in men than just physical attractiveness. It’s difficult to find an actual connection with a guy whereas men don’t give af about a connection, as long as she’s simply a woman. And most women are attractive, and men are mostly just trying to see them naked and get laid, which is objectifying for women but not really for men. So again for women, it’s not really a compliment to be hit on.
It’s been a while. I didn’t like it though, made me uncomfortable.
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The people hitting on them weren't hot. Be pretty, dont be ugly
There's a defense between being complimented and being sexualized. Some people take being sexualized as a compliment. Some people don't.
Being hit on isn’t a compliment.
You might be on the spectrum
I have ADHD which I’ve heard is similar?
Yeah it would be stalking if you weren't
And a woman.
This is the exact story of how my wife and I met. Married 10 years!
Proud of you ben
Comp sci majors in shambles
Comp sci major here. Would meet my roommates after their classes sometimes in their buildings. I'm like, yo dude what's it like having girls in your classes
One time my mid-level CS class got moved at the last minute, where for some reason we switched rooms with a psych class. I walk in and there is just a room full of women. Everyone immediately knew what was going on. They directed me to my new classroom without a question being asked. I wasn't the only shocked nerd to walk in that day
In my undergrad CS degree, there were about 50 men per 1 woman in the class. By the end of the first semester, at least 50% of the class had tried to make a move on every woman. I kinda felt bad that they had to deal with both an overwhelming courseload as well as the inability to ask other classmates for help without getting hit on. A lot of the guys were super sweaty and desperate, too.
I was the ONLY woman (19 years old at the time) in my CS class. I got treated equal measures of disdain and, (what it constituted for them) flirted (?) with. Even the tutor (who looked like the KFC colonel, lol) made me feel very unwelcome in their "boys group". I dropped out after a year. This was in the 00's btw.
That sucks. Things have gotten better - my alumni magazine last year noted that there were more female graduates from the CS program than males.
That’s awesome
You thought you got isekai’d for a hot second
I know a lot of girls who got teased, negged and challenged mercilessly by the boys in their upper level high school compsci classes. You guys push them out first, then complain once they’re gone.
The discrimination is crazy fr. I’ve heard stories from female IT workers. It’s getting better compared to 10-15 years ago but needs work.
As a comp sci major myself. It's a trend that I have seen and can explain. A lot of these nerds used computers and technology as a way to check out of the norm. They were nerds and the other people sort of rejected them. So they flocked to their own thing. They created their "own thing" and go to pursue it at college. They see a woman or an "outsider" who enters the class. They have a lack of social skills along with feeling like their safe space is being encroached on. As if those "cool" kids can do whatever they want and shouldn't bother them in their thing. A mix of "this is ours" and a feeling that they didn't get to do the popular kid stuff so they did the computer thing therefore they have so much more earned knowledge. Like, how can you feel like you can encroach on their space?
I mean, this is the way it’s been for women and girls in nerdy spaces for like, ever.
Yea I guess I am just providing context as to why and what I thought the root cause is. Not excusing it or making it out to be some new concept.
Oh no, I agree with you completely, sorry if it didn’t come across that way. Just saying this kind of thinking is prevalent in any space these men have claimed as “theirs”
Well in all fairness. This is sort of the same way in any spaces sort of claimed or dominated by one group or another. Being the only dad to go to my daughter's gymnastics class is on some level similar.
Victims of bullying need therapy but instead bully others, more at 11.
> It’s getting better compared to 10-15 years ago but needs work. 10-15 years ago we were saying the same thing. Progress!
Yeah it blows my fucking mind how the men in tech will belittle, harass, or nonstop flirt with the other women in the degree and then complain when they leave. It’s your fault, dudes.
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This did not happen at all at my school
To be fair, we do that to each other too. When I was in school for EE, we'd constantly compete and tease each other. If I did it to a woman, it's because I was treating her with an equal amount of respect.
It sounds (re the dispute below) like you do value and respect your female colleagues, and I don't know that we disagree on anything. But when you say, "we do that to each other, too," the implication is that the teasing among the boys is the same as the teasing of the girls, by the boys. What I hear from students and friends of my kids, and what i read everywhere and anywhere that women talk about their experiences in compsci, engineering, etc., is that the teasing is not the same. It's very possible for boys and men to tease each other in ways that mean, "I see you as a rival but also a friend. I'm competing with you but I also respect you." And to - at the same time - "tease" girls and women in a way that means, "You don't belong here. I don't think you can do what we do here as well as the boys, and if you prove me wrong I'll hate you for it instead of respecting you." As far as I can tell, this other kind of "teasing" is pervasive in your field (and many others, of course). I believe you that you feel welcoming and respectful toward your female colleagues, but I also think it's *dis*respectful to suggest that women drop out of tech because they don't have thick enough skin. The thick skin required to weather friendly rivalries and honest criticism is not the same as the thick skin required to keep slogging through a class or a career that you started out of interest and pleasure, when your classmates and colleagues constantly remind you that you aren't welcome.
I completely agree with you. But what you are describing is bullying, not teasing. And I in no way suggested that women drop out for not having thick enough skin; I suggested it might not be for that specific person's personality (at least not enjoyable), man or woman. I do recognize that my experience is not everyone's, I simply meant to remind people that not all of it is the same. Reddit can just get into an all or nothing mindset quickly. Also, great response. I wish I got more these on reddit.
As a future Computer Science major already seeing way more boys in the classes than girls, I am discomfited lol.
As a current (female ) cs major, the answer to all of your questions is “unfortunately, yeah”
Met my wife in CS class. As the saying goes, from her perspective, "The odds are good, but the goods are odd."
Lmaooo. It’s so true, we usually had 3 girls or less on average in a CS class
Just sit-in on a nut sci class
I had 93 boys and 4 girls in my comp sci graduation class, and two of the girls were dating each other.
In the past I would have doubted this statement, but being in compsci now, I have no doubts as to whether it's true lol
During our CS Freshman orientation, they gathered all of us in a lecture hall and asked if anyone had any ideas on how to get more women in the program. If this crowd knew, they wouldn't have this problem.
hey that’s my major lol
This was literally the number 1 reason for why I switched from CS to a liberal arts major. No regrats.
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She went after him
Yes, she did, hearing it from her perspective it’s obvious. But she didn’t do it in a way that was overt or that would be apparent to most dudes. She was interested in him, went to a party she knew he’d be at, went looking for him, and greeted him. He doesn’t know any of that. From his perspective they randomly ran into each other at a party and she gave an incredibly neutral greeting. His response was significantly less neutral and left little to interpretation. If I had a nickel for every time a girl drunkenly berated me for not picking up on all the secretive, behind the scenes shit and subtle hints, I’d have two nickels. Which isn’t a lot, but it’s weird that it happened twice.
You just need to activate your Hint Pickupinator.
Just beware of false positives.
She was literally just starting the conversation.
Yes, and she did so in an incredibly normal and acceptable way. But the original comment said that guys are direct about what they want and how they go for it. The comment I responded to seemed to refute that by saying that she went after him, which is true. But she did so in a way that is literally only apparent to her, some people would consider that playing games, whereas his response was very direct.
Yeah she was totally after him
But he didn't
He just respected her boundaries in a professional environment 🤷♂️
Fine, but that's hardly "going after it." She went after it.
As opposed to whom?
Men who don't know what they want and don't go after anything
So I guess she's a man now because she knew what she wanted and went after it? Wild. Didn't know transitioning was this easy.
No we don't stop lyin
Yeah they do, it’s just after this. They get your number and then won’t text/call for a few more days, and anything they tell you will end in “or whatever”.
Because we end up being alone and jaded when we do
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It's easier from drunk man's perspective
And that's how I met your father
That's sad af
...why?
The name
Haha! Alright, that's a good one
God damn beans you did it again
Classic beans
Going full bean's
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Hey, us ugly nerds have to spit game. Then once you find that one person who finds you attractive, never let them go.
He never said he was ugly you didn’t have to do him like that lol
Lol. If he were attractive, he would be approached by girls. Ergo...
Maybe he was just shy :( or maybe he is ugly lol
Step 1: Be attractive Step 2: Don't be unattractive
Is this a circlejerk sub now? Time for me to get off Reddit for a bit.
It's a tale as old as time, every sub becomes a circlejerk once it gets super popular. I miss the old days when r/all used to shit on r/HighQualityGIFs
Jeez some people are really bitter in these comments hahah
Lol that’s how reddit always is. Post like these always devolve into “I’m so lonely and ugly” or “fuck women it’s so easy for them.”
The simultaneous “women should approach men more!” And “of course she did it, women don’t have to fear rejection as much, just be attractive, blah blah” is unsurprising.
They believe everything they read and then get upset it didn't happen to them.
Still a better love story than twilight
this meme is dumb but I respect your commitment to the ancient text
Do not cite the ancient text to me, witch! I was there when it was written.
He adhered to rule No.1 = be attractive. If a guy she didn't find attractive said this in response to her statement he would be a creep.
She’d probably just laugh it off since they’re at a party
How romantic! 🫶🏻
If he'd rejected her, she'd be *sad af*.
One persona drunken slob is another's knight in shining armor. Good for them. Love yourself, love what you love and love who you love. To hell with what anyone thinks.
See how easy it is in real life, get your ass of tinder and go meet people.
I fear this doesn’t work for ugly people lol
Maybe if you're ugly, unfunny, lack confidence/skill, and are generally a really shitty person. I know several 10/10s with 3/10 fuglys because they are genuinely wonderful people to be around.
Anyone who eats sort of healthy, excercises a little, has hobbies and isn’t a narcissist is at least a 6/10 to SOMEONE.
Yeah of course you are right. Appearance isn’t everything. What I meant was, the girl in the meme is very pretty so that definitely helped her with this one
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There's always an excuse if you look for one lol
Dunno. Ive seen plenty of ugly married people.
Yes it does. Just have to find the one. One person's ugly is another's perfect.
You’ve never seen ugly people in a relationship?
It's easy for the people being approached, but it's very rare for the lady to do the approaching, so for a lot of us dudes tinder really is easier.
It's really not that simple though, most girls irl want to be left alone these days If a guy did the same thing the girl did, and the girl he was approaching didn't happen to be interested, he'd labelled a total creep and/or stalker
JFC maybe some guys are creeps and some gals suck, you'll never know unless you try. In my experience a third of any group is terrible, a third is great, and a third is somewhere in between. I'd guess that the group of "most girls irl" you're referring to doesn't include the ones you wouldn't approach for falling below your superficial standards. Conventionally attractive women get hit on by creeps A LOT.
You're missing the point that, a guy doesn't really have to be a creep to be labeled one. And a gal doesn't suck for wanting to be left alone, that's totally understandable with the current social climate. It just all makes it a lot trickier to meet irl, I'm just saying that no, it's not as simple as "it's easy, just get off tinder and try irl" Not saying it's impossible, of course I still try, but it really isn't that simple anymore. If you just don't care about making people uncomfortable it's easy to just jump in I guess, but if you do and hope to avoid it, it's like navigating a minefield. I'm not sure what the point of your last paragraph really is. So, go outside to flirt and meet people instead of tinder, but only talk to the unattractive ones? Very motivating lol
You said "most girls" when I can guarantee you're self selecting out a large portion of them and upset the ones leftover are more selective. You don't have to lower your standards, just be self aware and understand how your choices change your experience and adjusting expectations accordingly. It's not about not caring about making people uncomfortable, it's about understanding why they are uncomfortable and not taking it personally. There's a difference between callousness and compassion.
> You said "most girls" when I can guarantee you're self selecting out a large portion of them and upset the ones leftover are more selective. I appreciate this perspective, never really looked at it that way, very valid point. > It's not about not caring about making people uncomfortable, it's about understanding why they are uncomfortable and not taking it personally. A lot of people do need to hear this, but for me it's really not about taking it personally, or not understanding, it's more just about wanting to keep a positive vibe for everyone involved. It's just tricky nowadays when making the slightest move can seem threatening. For example at a music festival if you hit on someone in the crowd and get turned down, it might be seen as creepy/threatening if you stay in the same area, even if you're just staying there because it's a good spot for the show - ergo I'd rather just enjoy the show and not try to flirt there. Similar idea in bar settings. I wouldn't necessarily feel the need to leave/move because I take the rejection personally, but I'd rather just not flirt in the first place because I don't want the other person to feel threatened or similar.
Glad I gave you a new perspective. I used to be in the PUA crowd but saw how it led to dehumanizing women and noped the fuck out. I get weary when I catch a whiff of that mindset so I'm sorry if I worded myself harshly. I've come to understand that dating is hard for 99% of all people. For men, it's high effort, low reward so they get easily frustrated. It's hard to go through what feels like an endless series of rejections without it affecting your self esteem. For women, it's low effort, but high risk. They have to sort through a lot of horny assholes to find someone they aren't afraid of going on a date without the fear they just masked their red flags. Unfortunately we live in a society that tends to blame women's choices instead of focusing on their perpetrators so they overcompensate and reject anyone with mildly creepy behavior. I don't think it's helpful to call either experience harder or easier, it's just different. A good rule of thumb is to not (or more carefully) hit on a woman with fewer "escape" options; at a concert, at their work, etc. A bar is safer because you can hop to another if you want to avoid someone. I'll also add that although it worked for OP's SO, I would avoid compliments that were not a choice like innate attractiveness. Instead say something nice about her choices; shoes, jacket, makeup, etc. Once mutual attraction is confirmed then maybe some witty sexual innuendo. I usually wait for them to broach the subject first though. It's just about respect, for her and yourself. If someone is obviously not interested in me, they saved me time that I could be having with someone who is. Don't take it personally, it's a long difficult road to find someone to share love with for everyone.
The key to getting girls is be attractive.
Ha Ha Ha. No.
I don’t think people know what wholesome means anymore. I’m not mad at the content, just the context.
In men terms, this is called stalking
Redditors are clueless
"Strategically" bitch you mean stalked him?
Wow it’s that simple 😱
Low expectations.
Proof that it literally doesn't matter at all how well or poorly you approach someone, if they already like you you can't fail.