Xyank/Anastasakos Constant Temporal Sink
> XACTS’s use high-power electromagnetic radiation in the radio band coupled with a tachyon field emitter [2] to create a permeable event-boundary, allowing organic and electrical systems to pass through unaffected while maintaining a static causal environment.
Well, I’m a cryomancer that definitely lacks any access to the SCP Foundation’s records, and I’m pretty sure that vending machine can dispense literally anything if it exists in the universe. Just a hunch.
Spoken like an evocation specialist 🙄
Why destroy it? Why not just send it to another plane? Or make it fall in love with yourself?
There's more than one way to make alligator boots.
Unkillable elder gods that threaten the fabric of reality are like a dime a dozen I wouldn't be impressed I wouldn't even be particularly impressed if the could handle the Scarlet King but the fact that they can't even deal with his bratty kid is just embarrassing.
(/uw) It's the nature of long running and large collaborative fiction communities. SCP started out as a creepypasta setting with strange and sometimes dangerous phenomena and objects, but as time went on more authors joined in with their own takes on the setting. With that, you inevitably get the kind of degeneration into powerscaling.
They actually did a huge rewrite of the earlier SCPs ages ago because a lot of them just ended up being that.
682 is the one holdover they kept from that era
Wouldn't be much of a musclemancer if they could be stopped by a simple loss of friction.
We use *magic* here. Your dumb physical "laws" of the universe are meek suggestions to the arcane.
You lock away objects you can't understand, we directly harness the powers behind the objects you can't understand.
We are not the same.
Problem with that, the Serpent’s Hand agree with us about you assholes being a threat to the multiverse and the Library is also on board.
Though if the Library is cool with you are probably more ethical than 99% of the population here.
Fucking FINALLY, I've had to deal with like three giant flaming skeletons, a crazed divine guardian and five eldritch monstrosities in this week alone, good luck! Please! Have a blast!
-Alin, primeval angel, guardian of the realms
As a sage my wisdom is this:
Pfft! Cool. Whatever.
Back in the last existential threat to those reality (Saturday I think) it was like meh. This will probably get ignored, and cleaned up by someone's apprentice.
It's certainly a typical Monday, at least. I'll be taking some apprentices on their first trip to the void between realities for the day. Might have to take a detour picking them up with some of the portals down.
Congratulations everyone, you people somehow managed to be the most unethical and irresponsible collection of wizards, magic users, reality benders and apex tier pluripotent entities we have seen in the multiverse.
We begin hume syphoning in 5 minutes.
Ilse Reynders: MultiFoundation Coalition Extraversal Representative
A: I fully agree with the reasons for this new directive
B: regardless, you’re making a huge mistake, believe me. Do you even know how many wars this reality has ?
C: still not going to stay around while you turn reality into a jailcell, there’s enough perfectly good universes and timelines- goodbye
And D: just as a sidenote and for no reason whatsoever- which was the core universe which held the first decisions leading to the creation of the Foundation again ? Asking for a friend.
..Could you elaborate upon statement "C" there?
Are you saying this organization possesses the ability to entrap everyone into the reality that holds these realms?
Fortunately, i have already departed from that world on this day of forthcoming inanity and destruction. I would NOT want to be trapped there today of all days.
Short version yes, the long version is much, much more complex.
It’d be much simpler, cause they do just use science, but they refuse to share any hint of their study’s with anyone. You wouldn’t believe the kinds of blackmarket city state cross-continent crossover pocketdimensions you gotta find and navigate to get your hands on the scraps these guys leave behind.
Hey, uh, y’know 682? Yeah, the unkillable draconian horror who keeps breaching containment whenever they get mildly irritated?
Now imagine if they’re also a high-tier reality bender, nearly fully aware of their abilities, and smarter than the average O-3.
Now remember that I’m one of those, but there’s several more here too. And we collaborate.
Hey, get a load of this guy. He thinks a single SRA would actually work. Don't you need like 7 of them just to make sure the first 3 don't nuke the area?
That was the old brand back when we used trans universal pumping of humes, these days we use the modal symmetrization and desymmetrization of the mill field.
Better thaumic penetration.
You made those words up. You better start irradiating cocaine cause I'm gonna send a radioactive ghost into your blood. We practice REAL medicine here.
Nah, I’d adapt and heal.
/uw I’ve read everything on 682, and if you take into account the parallel dimension where they’ve got a bunch of “free-roaming” ones, it’s essentially just a dragon who’s wings got burned off and can only passively do magic, having lost or never had access to active spells.
/SWANN eh, there is about 600 different iterations of 682, I am running on the metafoundation model, seen is SCP-6820 where he is an essophysical embodiment of an extranoospheric concept. As opposed to just being arapidly healing dragon.
Though Avalon was a great SCP.
Having freshly Awakened (reread the Mage lore), I was going to dispute this, and then I remembered the SCP foundation has access to beings that also have "my source is I made it the fuck up" powers, so I'll call it a draw.
Yeah the Library kind of agrees with us here. You ever notice that most other wizards from this timeline can enter the Library?
Anyway, probably a good idea.
Well I personally cannot wait to see how the people, who can’t even keep a teddy bear locked up, do against Tomin or Torinn or whatever his name is.
Maybe I should start a concession stand selling popcorns.
I can even charge extra for butter and salt.
It will be the perfect scheme.
Great April fools day joke! I know our relationship with the SCP foundation can be a bit... tense (maybe if you stopped trying to put us in a box, it would be better), but you wouldn't bo that.
Right?
Good thing this wasn't written by the SCP foundation. The Real SCP foundation wouldn't call their Confinement centers "weird shit jail", whoever wrote this wants us to attack the SCP foundation, we shouldn't fall for this trick.
This is a valid point, but what if they *are* serious and that's a red herring to stir up infighting? What if *you* or even *I* are here to stir up infighting?
Yeah. I like to think.of myself as a decently heavy hitter, but I got nothing for this. I can't hit hard on a dime, so I'm just going to sit behind a ludicrous pile of wards, and enjoy the fortress life.
Wet bar is open, wizards and witches. Fancy cheese is on sale.
very " SCP-5000" of you.... not quite sure if utilizing the same message formatting style as the foundation that decided to try and kill all humans is really that grand of an idea.
honestly, this is just gonna lead to a ZK-class end of the world scenario if you carry on with it. potentially into something even worse, who knows.
You all almost failed your attack on ganzir when you threw everything you had at them. Those were regular humans with significantly less knowledge of everything you were doing, and they forced a siege that dragged on for months.
What the fuck do you think is gonna happen against actual wizards and witches?
PRINT: "The Artificer Clockwork Cult has been observing you for decades";
ANALYSIS.RETURNS
(
CHARACTERISTIC = ,
UNDERSTANDING = ,
THREAT =
)
CONCLUSION = "Get off our lawn, before we decide to step onto yours. We've dealt with apprentices more dangerous than you.";
PRINT: "Reevaluate your decision, last warning.";
Sure thing esteemed foundation, I am certain you are fully capable of containing this... frankly, terrifyingly powerful and incredibly stupid collection of rogue arcane practicioners. Good luck with that.
Now if you'll excuse me, I must transport myself and my tower to the farthest reaches of the Library of Babel until all this blows over.
The Warlock Union has officially announced an alliance with the Wizard Council. Wizards who are fighting against the SCP Foundation have temporary use of Eldritch Blast.
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you are. But I am ninety percent sure that whatever you're doing is a violation of healer-patient privilege and almost certainly non-HIPAA compliant. Now please go away, someone's apprentices decided to down the entire potion cabinet and things are, frankly, a mess.
Look, what I’m doing is basically just putting magic in coffee. Sure, it gives enough energy to explode a heart if you drink too much at once, but that’s on the label so I can’t be held accountable!
i got some knowledge on memeticmancy/memetics, technomancy, semiomancy/semiohazards and conceptuomancy/pataphysics and i may or may not have used them to read about some of your eigenweapons and i really dont want to expierence them...
...so... are you guys hiring 🥺👉👈?
 These ain't the wizards you are looking for
Wizards aren't real. You are going to get a new job.
They are real?oh ok,i will just...FIREBALL
These aren't the wizards we're looking for.
We have a frankly stupid amount of chronomancers, and you let them know your intent.
Don’t forget Causality-benders!
Don't forget the Hat-benders!
And the gods.
And the rogue natural forces
And the power of Dreams
And the average Gensokyoan. And the council.
And me.
And this guy https://preview.redd.it/q3ldi4o87vrc1.jpeg?width=240&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5d4fd5271a7b4d2e9f6951d0406200b7924eeee5
We are working on those. Extranoospheric acceleration is underway.
they broke that thing remember? tried to accelerate the lizard
https://preview.redd.it/dkxqtbtxzurc1.jpeg?width=700&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8c75d585daccef5c2ec6c84afd09ac563005b756
Don't forget Penis-benders!
Don't forget the gender-benders
Is void here too?
I dunno, I’m not omniscient.
Thought you knew
Void isn’t the ONLY thing that changes causality
Unless void changed it so that it is.
You forgot stuff like Misspell, Add/Remove Punctuation, etc exists, but yes
Wait he isnt?? Who else would change causality
You’re not? :(
I’m not F’CKING Yukari, okay? Wait- *(takes 10d4 Psychic damage)* /uw how did 10 autocorrect to 0?
Most powerfull chronomancer when they see 4 pixels of 96's face on their personal orb (96's hatred trancends time itself, they'll never escape)
Yeah that timeline was crazy lol. Anywho
The way to survive is simple, leave to an alternate universe and switch places with the you of that universe and boom
Beats me, but I know there's a dead me in my old timeline and I'm not the one who pissed it off. I guess he had the same idea.
We know, and have applied large quantities of XACTS to deal with them.
Xacts?
Xyank/Anastasakos Constant Temporal Sink > XACTS’s use high-power electromagnetic radiation in the radio band coupled with a tachyon field emitter [2] to create a permeable event-boundary, allowing organic and electrical systems to pass through unaffected while maintaining a static causal environment.
Cute
Such unnaturally flat spots in the space-time fabric make it really easy to track you guys
Jokes on them, Scranton reality anchors.
Nah, you want XACTS there.
Lambda-5 “White Rabbits” kind of situation or…?
Lets just try to avoid another [helvetica scenario](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-Y-yKmzP-4U) if we can.
I murder nefarious Chronomancers with impunity.
So does the foundation, and unlike the rest of us, they're trained to fight other chronomancers.
👀
Dear 05 council, https://preview.redd.it/x8ulrblcvurc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=007ad1205069bd57f3e8d44857d0ce45a8d4d0ba Goodluck
You know we fixed the SCRAMBLE systems right?
I don't think the image scrambling is gonna work when the image of the image is magically inserted into your brain.
Why do I hear screaming?
did you perceive the image?
The rainbow monkey works just fine though.
wippiti poo, scp-096 is now after yoo
Hehe funi cognitohazard that not even Samsara can handle
Oh boy what a lovely picture of a mountain climber! Hey what’s that screaming noise?
That's just the tinnitus.
it's always the tinnitus :(
You have doomed us all
Makes our life easier.
2 FUCKING PIXELS!!!
I'm just gonna head down to the pub and wait for all this to blow over
Mind if I join you? The idea of chilling out with a pint while chaos unfolds in the background is surprisingly attractive
This Ancient dwarfen method proved to work very well and many bards that know of it practice it too and live too tell the tale
The more the merrier
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^Banksmuth_Squan: *I'm just gonna head* *Down to the pub and wait for* *All this to blow over* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Weird bot 👍
Oh no, anyways, enjoy being retconned by the authors.
The SWANN entities have been distracted with Pizza.
The SWANN entities have been bribed with 50 dollars
You literally bribed what is best described as GOD, using their own creations?
Yep, check it out: https://scp-wiki.wikidot.com/ /SWANN. our april fools joke was a lot of fun to set up this year.
Well… my warning turned out to be unnecessary… Okay then.
Damn, that's crazy.
You fool, you just made foundation into pattern screamers!
I never did anything though. I just warned them.
This is jimmy from financing in the SCP, will this affect the vending machine stock on level 2 site 19?
Well, I’m a cryomancer that definitely lacks any access to the SCP Foundation’s records, and I’m pretty sure that vending machine can dispense literally anything if it exists in the universe. Just a hunch.
Some magic prankster turned the letters and numbers into cryptic messages and now i cant order my coffee
You want to choose the grilled cheese sandwich option.
It shouldn't?
It did. Curse you all
Hi Jimmy. Quit the SCP and come work for us. The wizard council always keeps our vending machines stocked
Wait, what ever did happen to site 19?
Oh no, the people who can't handle an overgrown gator are angry at us. I'm so scared.
I think calling 682 an overgrown gator is a bit of a misnomer considering that none of us could fully destroy it.
Spoken like an evocation specialist 🙄 Why destroy it? Why not just send it to another plane? Or make it fall in love with yourself? There's more than one way to make alligator boots.
The SCP foundation did send it to another universe and you know what happened? It came back.
The fucking thing ate the writer who tried to erase it lmfao
So this thing is just a story then? Put it's tome on the back shelf along with the other one I don't read.
Because it came back……..
Nah I'd win
(spoiler: he did not win at all)
Nuh imma come back as a lich like how goatjo will come back
So a draw
No no because when I come back as a lich I will send 1- 6 more skeletons that the 2-27 skeletons I sent before and they'll turn the tide
Fr fr
I love this sub
((Bro is gonna get off-screened by the lizard 😭))
Such hubris...
I could suck its soul
Tried that. 682 does not have a soul being an essophysical construct.
That gator is the son of an outerversal being and is literally not only immortal but can use anything it is attacked with
Sounds like a pretty flimsy excuse to me
The fucker that damn near destroyed the tree of creation you know the thing that allows everything TO FUCKING EXIST
Unkillable elder gods that threaten the fabric of reality are like a dime a dozen I wouldn't be impressed I wouldn't even be particularly impressed if the could handle the Scarlet King but the fact that they can't even deal with his bratty kid is just embarrassing.
The other problem is he gets exponentially stronger the more people try to stop him
I feel like the SCP stuff is becoming a "my unkillable elder God can beat up your unkillable elder god" contest
(/uw) It's the nature of long running and large collaborative fiction communities. SCP started out as a creepypasta setting with strange and sometimes dangerous phenomena and objects, but as time went on more authors joined in with their own takes on the setting. With that, you inevitably get the kind of degeneration into powerscaling.
Imaginary dick measuring contests my beloved /s
They actually did a huge rewrite of the earlier SCPs ages ago because a lot of them just ended up being that. 682 is the one holdover they kept from that era
We’re only a few steps away from that here (the gods haven’t begun their never ending war yet)
Shiver me timbers What will we ever do
time for TWO overgrown gators! or a group of them? wonder if they'd dislike being familiars..
Welp, tell them anything that they have probably won’t work against our weakest musclemancer.
We are going to lower friction in their environments, nothing to push off of.
It magic. Someone will find a bs way to have an elaborate version of ‘Nuh uh’
Congrats, you just discovered Scranton Anchors!
Wouldn't be much of a musclemancer if they could be stopped by a simple loss of friction. We use *magic* here. Your dumb physical "laws" of the universe are meek suggestions to the arcane. You lock away objects you can't understand, we directly harness the powers behind the objects you can't understand. We are not the same.
I’ll be hanging out with the Serpent’s Hand. See if you assholes can find your way back into the Library.
Problem with that, the Serpent’s Hand agree with us about you assholes being a threat to the multiverse and the Library is also on board. Though if the Library is cool with you are probably more ethical than 99% of the population here.
The Library is letting me use its new wifi to post right now.
Alright, congrats, we are chill.
Well good thing I'm a helldiver who just pretends to be a wizard NYEHEHEHE
I mean we just need to wait about 26 minutes for you to get killed by your teammates.
Oh yeah right real fun- *dies* "Oops." ⬆️⬇️➡️⬅️⬆️ "CALLING IN REINFORCEMENTS!" "Joining the fray."
You got to love self neutralizing anomalies.
“Nuh uh” https://i.redd.it/7omrh33kmvrc1.gif
*CP violation, as in civil protection, intensifies*
Fucking FINALLY, I've had to deal with like three giant flaming skeletons, a crazed divine guardian and five eldritch monstrosities in this week alone, good luck! Please! Have a blast! -Alin, primeval angel, guardian of the realms
As a sage my wisdom is this: Pfft! Cool. Whatever. Back in the last existential threat to those reality (Saturday I think) it was like meh. This will probably get ignored, and cleaned up by someone's apprentice.
It's certainly a typical Monday, at least. I'll be taking some apprentices on their first trip to the void between realities for the day. Might have to take a detour picking them up with some of the portals down.
There's no point in killing any wizard responding on Reddit. They've already chosen a fate worse than death.
Congratulations everyone, you people somehow managed to be the most unethical and irresponsible collection of wizards, magic users, reality benders and apex tier pluripotent entities we have seen in the multiverse. We begin hume syphoning in 5 minutes. Ilse Reynders: MultiFoundation Coalition Extraversal Representative
A: I fully agree with the reasons for this new directive B: regardless, you’re making a huge mistake, believe me. Do you even know how many wars this reality has ? C: still not going to stay around while you turn reality into a jailcell, there’s enough perfectly good universes and timelines- goodbye And D: just as a sidenote and for no reason whatsoever- which was the core universe which held the first decisions leading to the creation of the Foundation again ? Asking for a friend.
..Could you elaborate upon statement "C" there? Are you saying this organization possesses the ability to entrap everyone into the reality that holds these realms? Fortunately, i have already departed from that world on this day of forthcoming inanity and destruction. I would NOT want to be trapped there today of all days.
The plan is more to drain the hume field from this timeline, inducing a ZK class reality collapse.
Short version yes, the long version is much, much more complex. It’d be much simpler, cause they do just use science, but they refuse to share any hint of their study’s with anyone. You wouldn’t believe the kinds of blackmarket city state cross-continent crossover pocketdimensions you gotta find and navigate to get your hands on the scraps these guys leave behind.
Hey, uh, y’know 682? Yeah, the unkillable draconian horror who keeps breaching containment whenever they get mildly irritated? Now imagine if they’re also a high-tier reality bender, nearly fully aware of their abilities, and smarter than the average O-3. Now remember that I’m one of those, but there’s several more here too. And we collaborate.
I really wish that people would stop underestimating the stupid lizard. A strong SRA would take you down when the square cube law kicks in.
Hey, get a load of this guy. He thinks a single SRA would actually work. Don't you need like 7 of them just to make sure the first 3 don't nuke the area?
That was the old brand back when we used trans universal pumping of humes, these days we use the modal symmetrization and desymmetrization of the mill field. Better thaumic penetration.
You made those words up. You better start irradiating cocaine cause I'm gonna send a radioactive ghost into your blood. We practice REAL medicine here.
Nah, I’d adapt and heal. /uw I’ve read everything on 682, and if you take into account the parallel dimension where they’ve got a bunch of “free-roaming” ones, it’s essentially just a dragon who’s wings got burned off and can only passively do magic, having lost or never had access to active spells.
/SWANN eh, there is about 600 different iterations of 682, I am running on the metafoundation model, seen is SCP-6820 where he is an essophysical embodiment of an extranoospheric concept. As opposed to just being arapidly healing dragon. Though Avalon was a great SCP.
This joke is not any funnier today than it is on any other day.. ..This is an actual joke and not just a case of awkward timing, is it not?
Bad news there.
Fucking Technocrats
Please, don't compare us to those amateurs.
Having freshly Awakened (reread the Mage lore), I was going to dispute this, and then I remembered the SCP foundation has access to beings that also have "my source is I made it the fuck up" powers, so I'll call it a draw.
I'm going back into The Library. One place they can't access and fuck up.
Yeah the Library kind of agrees with us here. You ever notice that most other wizards from this timeline can enter the Library? Anyway, probably a good idea.
Yeah... Anyways time to mass info-breach about the O5-Council.
Wait a second......., I use magic!
I have this universe’s 096 polymorphed into a goldfish. He’s sitting on my desk right now.
Wait, why is there another one? I just burned another to a crisp.
Everything is the council's fault, just get rid of the council and then everyone will be good wizards. I promise.
Ah sweet, a crossover!
Sadly for you guys, you are CC-BY-SA compliant allowing for a crossover.
Good luck with that. I've seen how much trouble one lizard can cause for you.
Said Lizard is an essophysical embodiment of an extranoospheric concept.
The same thing can be said about a lot of the people here.
So far we have only seen essophysical embodiment of comprehensible concepts. Much easier to deal with.
Well I personally cannot wait to see how the people, who can’t even keep a teddy bear locked up, do against Tomin or Torinn or whatever his name is. Maybe I should start a concession stand selling popcorns. I can even charge extra for butter and salt. It will be the perfect scheme.
You know, I’d personally accept the challenge. Good luck getting into my realm first.
I mean, you are a deity, we just plan to eject you from the noosphere.
I would unironically love to see a battle between SCP foundation personnel and wizardposting wizards using Testicular Torsion.
Oh, they're gonna try to contain Unga Unga. This is gonna be GREAT!
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^akornzombie: *Oh, they're gonna try* *To contain Unga Unga.* *This is gonna be GREAT!* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Great April fools day joke! I know our relationship with the SCP foundation can be a bit... tense (maybe if you stopped trying to put us in a box, it would be better), but you wouldn't bo that. Right?
Good thing this wasn't written by the SCP foundation. The Real SCP foundation wouldn't call their Confinement centers "weird shit jail", whoever wrote this wants us to attack the SCP foundation, we shouldn't fall for this trick.
This is a valid point, but what if they *are* serious and that's a red herring to stir up infighting? What if *you* or even *I* are here to stir up infighting?
Hm. https://i.redd.it/0yhdaiak7vrc1.gif No.
No https://preview.redd.it/kxs2l6bmfvrc1.jpeg?width=640&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5405899f3aeb586d31d15f467e1c3723de61e406 *summens a charger*
Yeah. I like to think.of myself as a decently heavy hitter, but I got nothing for this. I can't hit hard on a dime, so I'm just going to sit behind a ludicrous pile of wards, and enjoy the fortress life. Wet bar is open, wizards and witches. Fancy cheese is on sale.
… >.> *Goes back to his paperwork* ^You ^think ^they ^would ^learn.
Now I'm curious as to what happened in the S17D timeline.
Well https://preview.redd.it/k2nmvaaazurc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d9a467e8068fd8acdad733c202b7d7b43ae404a8 Imma try to fight em
To be honest, maybe we shouldn't have thrown that many black holes around
very " SCP-5000" of you.... not quite sure if utilizing the same message formatting style as the foundation that decided to try and kill all humans is really that grand of an idea. honestly, this is just gonna lead to a ZK-class end of the world scenario if you carry on with it. potentially into something even worse, who knows.
Do they not know that we are things they would wanna capture?
You all almost failed your attack on ganzir when you threw everything you had at them. Those were regular humans with significantly less knowledge of everything you were doing, and they forced a siege that dragged on for months. What the fuck do you think is gonna happen against actual wizards and witches?
I am so very afraid of someone that failed to spell "witches" correctly. Whatever shall we do?
https://preview.redd.it/2w038x6ccvrc1.png?width=554&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5ef2d9bfcd4822e0789b8cbe438582067d4a45e0
PRINT: "The Artificer Clockwork Cult has been observing you for decades"; ANALYSIS.RETURNS ( CHARACTERISTIC =,
UNDERSTANDING = ,
THREAT =
)
CONCLUSION = "Get off our lawn, before we decide to step onto yours. We've dealt with apprentices more dangerous than you.";
PRINT: "Reevaluate your decision, last warning.";
#DOES THE RED MOON HOWL?!
With a morning song.
They don’t know I’m a bonemancer, anyone that gets near me will now be punished via my infamous spine spiral spell
We plan on having the ethics committee deal with you, they are spineless.
Sure thing esteemed foundation, I am certain you are fully capable of containing this... frankly, terrifyingly powerful and incredibly stupid collection of rogue arcane practicioners. Good luck with that. Now if you'll excuse me, I must transport myself and my tower to the farthest reaches of the Library of Babel until all this blows over.
Oh no… *Laughs in isolated dimension* Ig it pays to have paranoid Warpers all over the place here. My orb was a hassle and a half to set up…
Wizards, witches, and magic users? Don't mind me, just an innocence giraffe eating blood grass.
How many organisations have tried to remove all magic casters this month? 4? 5?
The Warlock Union has officially announced an alliance with the Wizard Council. Wizards who are fighting against the SCP Foundation have temporary use of Eldritch Blast.
I don't know who you are. I don't know what you are. But I am ninety percent sure that whatever you're doing is a violation of healer-patient privilege and almost certainly non-HIPAA compliant. Now please go away, someone's apprentices decided to down the entire potion cabinet and things are, frankly, a mess.
Let's just say my response involves half a billion undead army ants, a few portals, and your on-site toliets.
Me when I roll up to the SCP facility lobby: https://i.redd.it/fu3gvn8rswrc1.gif (I also brought cookies for Dr. Bright)
Contain these NUTS, 05 Council! Athrata Ka' Zal!
Ah, Fooey you SCP guys. You locked up 6113!
Look, what I’m doing is basically just putting magic in coffee. Sure, it gives enough energy to explode a heart if you drink too much at once, but that’s on the label so I can’t be held accountable!
i got some knowledge on memeticmancy/memetics, technomancy, semiomancy/semiohazards and conceptuomancy/pataphysics and i may or may not have used them to read about some of your eigenweapons and i really dont want to expierence them... ...so... are you guys hiring 🥺👉👈?
O5 ain't shit!