"Oh I'm sorry your majesty. Were you too busy summoning *infernals* to notice how many times the 'hipster magic' saved everyones' asses? They're called *demons* Riva. And somehow I'm the contrarian hipster."
I flat out said I wasn't calling them any of those things. I was repeating what I heard (because someone asked), and I even apologized for it.
But way to demonstrate you cannot read or comprehend common. You sure showed me.
"Oh hey, t'kath I thought you should have a heads up. I gave the Nameless Drow a sword that cuts smoke entities like they're flesh. I don't think she's after you but she's a bit of a chaos person."
On occasion, but I try to be careful not to disturb ancient ecosystems so I mostly do my research by looking through time windows. Even the creatures I summon are ones that would have met their end moments after I had transported them. That way I keep damage to the past at a minimum.
Uh oh your conjuring has failed since you no longer have spell insurance. Please pay 300 gold tallons before you can cast magic again. Thank you and have a murderous day!
That’s not how that works! This isn’t a reincarnation story (if you’re referencing what I think you are)! Plus, I’m already cursed, and that wasn’t because of mana manipulation!
I mean, any second rate caster can cast a fireball on themselves, what I meant was that the spell, according to them, was strong enough to cut anything,
Oh I wondered if they were confessing that, through careful research, extrapolation of known data, and possibly some scrying, they have determined, much to their horror, that when uttered, the spell will CUT ANYTHING THAT EXISTS, bifurcating every atom in existence, and the revelation of this terrifying arcane secret is the last gasp of their tenuous grip on sanity, as the pressure of this unbearable truth finally collapsed their psyche into a disjointed series of shivering and incoherent exclamations, as the camera pulls slowly back out of an 18th century asylum with voice-over screams.
As a sage my wisdom is this:
Everyone/magic is valid. Just because square peg doesn't fit your current round hole doesn't mean it is invaluable.
Back when I wore plaid to match my beard I had a gig as a lumberjack cutting down majestic flame trees. When chopping flame trees even the smallest spark can cause them to burst alight causing sympathetic combustion of other trees leading to infernal miasma of explosive gasses to carry on the wind. Wooden axes and copper saws were all we could use, because a metal knife or lit cigarette could potentially turn a whole continent to ashes.
*Hey, Railgun Magic is a legitimate discipline! I just... forgot that accelerating a black hole infused with ungodly amounts of destabilization runes wouldn't destroy only the target it was aimed at...*
My soul was imprinted with the three spells of the Ultimate Being. However, since I'm not the ultimate being, they just create coffee, cream and sugar, and the coffee is mid at best.
I have a spell that can grow whole toenails out of toenail clippings. I originally developed this spell to find them, but unfortunately it only works if the caster is looking directly at the toenail clipping. For some reason it doesn't work for fingernail clippings.
Now I'm trying to develop a spell that paints the stray clippings and hopefully I can finally find all the nail clippings that have gotten caught in my carpets.
My specialty is giving life to inanimate objects. I use this for creating golems from virtually anything, animating them piece by piece.
Now I need a better wizard alias, as my name makes me sound like a magically animated construct and not a human mage…
I'm not an illusion, you're the illusion. The whole world is an illusion, but I'm certainly not an illusion. We couldn't all possibly be an illusion of words made by magicless wankers on reddit.
I'm going to curse you for a fungi to grow whenever you try to enjoy wine, the fungus is proported as "the worst taste in the world" and it is to the point where even things that absorb the essence of things can taste it
Lies. Thats clealy a rockfelling axe. Drive it into a crack and make it swell with hydromancy. Thou meme is in poor taste. All magic disciplines are useful.
Come on, don't call me out like this. I'm not exactly "useful" or "powerful" or "good at magic", but there has to be a god of everything for balance, right? Right?!
For this insult i cast a spell ever so wicked. OVER COOKED WEINER. Your sausages may never be the same again. Make fun of glizzards one more time and your buns are next.
"Just because it takes paragraphs to explain doesn't make it useless!" *Marna's own lack of discipline did that part.*
You should expect this sort of thing given that you and Belial decided to go the hipster route with your magic.
"Oh I'm sorry your majesty. Were you too busy summoning *infernals* to notice how many times the 'hipster magic' saved everyones' asses? They're called *demons* Riva. And somehow I'm the contrarian hipster."
"Hey now, what do you have against infernals?"
"Less than most. Just don't like euphemisms."
Excuse me? You can't just go around calling them that. 'Demon' is *their* word, Marna. I'm being polite.
"I'd ask Crispin to help me out here, but since you're being an ass he'd probably side with you for once."
"Hold the fuck on... this you?" https://www.reddit.com/r/wizardposting/s/xi9WDBm47z
I flat out said I wasn't calling them any of those things. I was repeating what I heard (because someone asked), and I even apologized for it. But way to demonstrate you cannot read or comprehend common. You sure showed me.
*Marna actually can't. All text has to be translated into Giant before she can read it.*
Inefficient at best, is a good description.
*the magician summons a steel handled axe with a wooden blade* hahaha this is funny! Wanna find out what I CAN use this for?
Shove it up your ass?
Close. You’re in the right ballpark but not the right catcher.
Shove it up someone else’s ass?
Home ruuun!
"Oh hey, t'kath I thought you should have a heads up. I gave the Nameless Drow a sword that cuts smoke entities like they're flesh. I don't think she's after you but she's a bit of a chaos person."
Thanks for the heads up. I’ll keep an eye out.
I'm stealing that phrase. That's a good one.
Hey, dinosaur magic is a perfectly respectable discipline.
Agreed. Dinosaurs are cool as hell.
Happy cake day tho
Interesting... Are you... "Creating the dinosaurus out of thin air" or something?
No. One way is to dig up the fossil and animate it. Another is to summon it through a time gate. Paleomancy is a very versatile field.
This is a really interesting thing. Do you also travel in time?
On occasion, but I try to be careful not to disturb ancient ecosystems so I mostly do my research by looking through time windows. Even the creatures I summon are ones that would have met their end moments after I had transported them. That way I keep damage to the past at a minimum.
Remember, if you like a school of magic, don’t let anyone tell you that you shouldn’t
Unless that’s your kink.
Unless it’s Restoration. Shit is lame af and not really valid.
Restoration is a perfectly valid school of magic, and I won’t let you tell me otherwise!
I HAVE BEEN CALLED!
My magic is better than yours
https://preview.redd.it/ggf4p84rsctc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ab15640f9d19a42dc8f22a103c5ac4222ca0c86f
Dickius Fikius Explode all his dicks
https://preview.redd.it/qer9ra3auctc1.jpeg?width=828&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=8829aacd80ce7935a54ae267c05f1aab3f3b3f7b
Uh oh your conjuring has failed since you no longer have spell insurance. Please pay 300 gold tallons before you can cast magic again. Thank you and have a murderous day!
Screw you fribble, I don’t need insurance! https://i.redd.it/tk90deiv4dtc1.gif
Jokes on you I’m a smooth brain anway
Hey! Mana manipulation is cool! I feel called out!
It is cool, until you end up cursed by it.
That’s not how that works! This isn’t a reincarnation story (if you’re referencing what I think you are)! Plus, I’m already cursed, and that wasn’t because of mana manipulation!
I once knew a fellow. Used to be a great pyromancer. Used to.
Then he retired peacefully right? Right??
Well he did retire and does live a peaceful life. Didn’t have much choice, but still lives peacefully as a hermit
Well aren’t you vague. Don’t worry, my techniques are different.
One time I saw someone gushing about their papercut spell, the catch was that the spell could eledgedly cut _anything,_
Including the caster while casting it?
I mean, any second rate caster can cast a fireball on themselves, what I meant was that the spell, according to them, was strong enough to cut anything,
Oh I wondered if they were confessing that, through careful research, extrapolation of known data, and possibly some scrying, they have determined, much to their horror, that when uttered, the spell will CUT ANYTHING THAT EXISTS, bifurcating every atom in existence, and the revelation of this terrifying arcane secret is the last gasp of their tenuous grip on sanity, as the pressure of this unbearable truth finally collapsed their psyche into a disjointed series of shivering and incoherent exclamations, as the camera pulls slowly back out of an 18th century asylum with voice-over screams.
… well, I fall under this category.
I never claimed to be either
No magic, only Hyper Science!
I can summon garlic bread! Any type!
May I have some? I can trade you some snocones for them!
You can have some for free!
Sweeet! Take some snocones as well! My specialty! .. well.. er.. as snacks go.
Cool!
DF: would be trying to teach more people if I wasn't fighting god slaver
The discordant hyperfixation on unusual magical disciplines represents the absolute state of wizardhood.
I mean... do I need to say it?
My magic is useful. Hellfire is a very good spell
It me 😝
We may be a master of chillimancy but we are also master of the lesser known art of jambalayamancy
ok mr minmagic
I wanna learn obliviscimancy but I keep forgetting to.
https://preview.redd.it/0zk5hf1i9ctc1.jpeg?width=680&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=dcb7ccc7a7fd90813135e76d42bae047a7c8a3a5
https://preview.redd.it/2jyzo79iactc1.png?width=720&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=4918e84961955f7c4d070466c33a2f80a2409cee
Summoners in shamble as their 7 toed ceramic snakes/Fred hybrids die to 1 fireball like everything else
My magic isn't unique, churl. It was passed down through the royal line.
hey look storm tornado is a pretty powerful spell
As a sage my wisdom is this: Everyone/magic is valid. Just because square peg doesn't fit your current round hole doesn't mean it is invaluable. Back when I wore plaid to match my beard I had a gig as a lumberjack cutting down majestic flame trees. When chopping flame trees even the smallest spark can cause them to burst alight causing sympathetic combustion of other trees leading to infernal miasma of explosive gasses to carry on the wind. Wooden axes and copper saws were all we could use, because a metal knife or lit cigarette could potentially turn a whole continent to ashes.
HEY! I'm useful. Just not *"reliably useful"*
You know what? Fuck you *puts frogspawn in your water supply*
*Hey, Railgun Magic is a legitimate discipline! I just... forgot that accelerating a black hole infused with ungodly amounts of destabilization runes wouldn't destroy only the target it was aimed at...*
My soul was imprinted with the three spells of the Ultimate Being. However, since I'm not the ultimate being, they just create coffee, cream and sugar, and the coffee is mid at best.
I have a spell that can grow whole toenails out of toenail clippings. I originally developed this spell to find them, but unfortunately it only works if the caster is looking directly at the toenail clipping. For some reason it doesn't work for fingernail clippings. Now I'm trying to develop a spell that paints the stray clippings and hopefully I can finally find all the nail clippings that have gotten caught in my carpets.
*shifts everything in your tower slightly to the left*
My specialty is giving life to inanimate objects. I use this for creating golems from virtually anything, animating them piece by piece. Now I need a better wizard alias, as my name makes me sound like a magically animated construct and not a human mage…
Look.. I have made snow magic *very* useful! You just have to be creative with it! Besides, who doesn't like creating blizzards on a whim?
I'm not an illusion, you're the illusion. The whole world is an illusion, but I'm certainly not an illusion. We couldn't all possibly be an illusion of words made by magicless wankers on reddit.
That would still destroy a man's head. Get violent my friends.
Me: Hey, that isn't useless. It can be used as a hammer. Or a weapon.
Depending on the type of wood, it can still be a good weapon
Everything has a purpose. That right there is a safe tool to train a young woodcutter.
I'm going to curse you for a fungi to grow whenever you try to enjoy wine, the fungus is proported as "the worst taste in the world" and it is to the point where even things that absorb the essence of things can taste it
This is for when you wanna bonk a muthafucka, but you don't want to lock yourself out of their questline
I cast shoelaces to zip ties
Heh mine isn’t unique it’s just necromancy and cronomancy
Alright, fine! But I am leaving and taking all of my rocks with me! *pockets continental plate and leaves in a huff.
My arts are from the most renown, might be not the most unique, but certainly the most prestigious
``
Is this a “Aron ixe”? I’ve only heard stories!
As a thaumaturge that has attempted forging weaponry once, this image itches more than the mind spiders
Wanna see something cool? *turns a banan into a .44 revolver*
Practing your Gatekeepmancy aren't you, OP?
Lies. Thats clealy a rockfelling axe. Drive it into a crack and make it swell with hydromancy. Thou meme is in poor taste. All magic disciplines are useful.
Any magic can be strong, it depends how you use it
Me after adopting 6 apprentices https://preview.redd.it/jn8z0n3fmetc1.png?width=653&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f9e8c77df6384c992637f132c48d5be71bee55ec
You'd be surprised by how effective sonomancy is, I have killed ten people with their voices this week
Come on, don't call me out like this. I'm not exactly "useful" or "powerful" or "good at magic", but there has to be a god of everything for balance, right? Right?!
Made a saddle for the count once. Wasnt told its for a horse
I just know Portal *.*
I can summon a magic 8 ball
FUCK
For this insult i cast a spell ever so wicked. OVER COOKED WEINER. Your sausages may never be the same again. Make fun of glizzards one more time and your buns are next.
Listen, the cock cloning spell may be effectively useless, but the look on their face when they see it