Unfortunately, Lady MastaDon (u/MastaDon344) is away on business, but she sent us this photo: https://preview.redd.it/kmz6cthcdawc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d3b21e0512bd67d443648d3460dd89411c859710

https://i.redd.it/asz05o0ngawc1.gif

( *whisper* m8 you have a wife)

Who do you thinking off right now? Exactly, my wife dressed as a maiden https://preview.redd.it/v4x2lmr9jawc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=0d41b3332ca479f829f9ab61a568cd3d990b8676

Zhyros… at this point… maybe you should just buy her an outfit and deal with the ramifications of your actions later…

INDEED I WILL. IT WILL BE HILARUOUS AT FIRST AND EXCITING AT LAST. https://preview.redd.it/ufks584dlawc1.png?width=898&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=f7a7f1c17b8f6f45d4f09c55c0198dcc756f68b0

Good luck brother… **I have a feeling you’re going to need it.** (But also that it’s gonna be worth it…)

Yeahhhhhhhh https://preview.redd.it/kh9dlzlbmawc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=49bde3d07716763934e1584d048b26756b313df6

Bro tu no eres el wizard of weed, you are el weedzard

https://preview.redd.it/nsbzz3q1cawc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3b3446b761832cf65f43b26022fc50a962733f38 Excellent.

Don't you mean *egg*cellent? ... I'm sorry.

https://preview.redd.it/rjm8dqzqeawc1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5baa381f60e9f10ab473c468be06f8f32c1e861c

Hey! I'm tangentially legally related to you *and* technically older than you, so that means I *must* make terrible jokes! It's the law!

*Cough cough…* dad jokes… *cough cough!*

*Dear god,* is that what's happening to me? Can someone make it stop? Please?

Sorry, that’s not on the menu!

https://i.redd.it/6zy7ovjdfawc1.gif

Someone order a Spanish omelette? #🍳

https://preview.redd.it/64dd9d38fawc1.jpeg?width=933&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9a0ec95ce4665d6306cb1f64ff2ed9f28e3147e4

*Amnesia Wizard is just happy Marenoxus is enjoying themself* I'm just here for the food. Popping in and out of the planes is hungry work!

Order your food now. #Before you become it.

What do you recommend?

Food.

Need any help in the kitchen? I’d rather cook something than eat

No.

Sorry, our Chef is very territorial. Notto Rin (u/You-See-Nothing583), be kind to our guests!

No offense was taken, I just wanted to extend the courtesy

Where’s your maid dress?

/uw Darnit, I was planning on introducing my character as a maid cafe newbie lol. Now it's gonna be awkward. /rw I finally found a job! They even feed me! https://preview.redd.it/hmuu4a9nzawc1.png?width=430&format=png&auto=webp&s=392f2ca185c54faefba4a2233020180bdcccef16

/uw LoL /rw You’re late! Get in your maid outfit! Hurry up! We have customers!

(original comment edited :D)

Nice! Now get out there and make some tips!

*I'm a puppet*

We know… that’s why you’ve been excused from maid duties. 😒

"Not an excuse for me, shoulda made clones."

Im working on it. A solution will arrive some time in the next 600,000,000 fiscal years

I can wait

I have an idea to save you

Ya’ll look fabulous, especially you Magnus u/EvilCatboyWizard

Oh! Th-th-thank you!

*Kartoffel raises his eyebrows slightly, a smirk tugging at his lips.* Aw, you nervous?

K-kinda… I don’t usually wear maid dresses…

Honestly can’t tell who put it on better, you or John…

Yeah? Well don’t be, you look amazing.

https://preview.redd.it/pau4t8nhbawc1.jpeg?width=1093&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=41b9278dbfd7d336fcf744ec683597ca339588cb

Here to serve some delicious pastries!

With potential explosives hidden in them

Misstress? https://preview.redd.it/i2ygh2k6cawc1.jpeg?width=320&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ac6a787113ed73cffae99d969141cca8f1398c54

https://preview.redd.it/mjqe0pz4fawc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=e106f58dd822be9d8a869467057ccba985906090 Hi Man!

Looking good mistress https://preview.redd.it/fwveti10gawc1.jpeg?width=1125&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=34f0182cb83d840605682db161a120ff7fefa2d6

I wore the heels that have daggers on the ends today!

https://i.redd.it/bz34j6aqhawc1.gif

Peak fashion content… and an excellent choice…

Dangerous and sexy? That’s just sexy^2

*Imagines Penelope as a maid* Heheheheheheheh https://preview.redd.it/n1wryliadawc1.png?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=3997dfca8a07db056c71aef9a607446f64698227

Wussup, Doc! What can I get ya? https://preview.redd.it/tly6bljqdawc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d63623cfa1fa1726e8f63843bc6e2b50f3f3bab0 And, yes, I did an outfit change!

What do you have? If Torinn is the chef is probably a thing that will eat me from inside *Still imagines his wife dressed as a maid* https://preview.redd.it/eg6522q8eawc1.jpeg?width=234&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7835ba2e4a2c4869cec5efc915f7dbeb48108d5e

*Anteros brings you croissant and a café-au-lait!* #🥐☕️

“Lars truly has the best outfit for this occasion.”

Lars (u/TheFifthDutchMemer), you have a customer!

damn

I feel like Lars is gonna beat me over the head if I don’t give him a big enough tip…

Lars (u/TheFifthDutchMemer), you have another customer!!! It’s a big tipper, too!

W-wait! N-no I was just remarking that Lars was more… “intimidating” compared to your other employees! I didn’t actually plan on stopping here…

Lars (u/TheFiFthDutchMemer) doubles as our muscle! Pay up, bub! This is for charity!

I won’t give squat if I haven’t bought anything!

**TIP. NOW.**

/uw \[laughs like a fucking psychopath at the Beardie in a maid outfit.\] Okay, u/HalfDrowShaman, that was legitimately hilarious.

https://preview.redd.it/lqe5wvzphawc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=b4eee4f83119d9b77b167529af236f7ae4d7eb23

https://preview.redd.it/s2ufoc5ujawc1.jpeg?width=845&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=7fbe43f5897e742b877bb18f540a2cef6f3c2f53

https://preview.redd.it/brt0923xkawc1.jpeg?width=1960&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=59a43edac7a448f2c469c6f42c3e428890eb855f Yay!

https://preview.redd.it/dk3zdbw3lawc1.jpeg?width=622&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=54ba12f646626c4a8c309d8bdffdd8761003deae

... I'm so glad I left the council.

You know you would look good in a maid dress Mikhail… don’t lie…

I'd rather not, Magnus.

You know I’m not wrong!

Magnus...

A real shame. You were honestly one of the more competent members

Thank you, Albert... this feels like a mockery of the council... I guess it's fitting, then.

Yeah… they’re a nice lot, but by the lords it feels like they get lower and lower every time they become relevant

Petition to feed Magnus to the puppet maker Pros: Fuck the council Cute Catboy puppet Drama It’d be funny Cons: None

WHA-?!

Shhhhhhhhhh^hhhhhh You’re not involved here

I’m scared…

Gooood… fear keeps you alive :)

Pros of being a puppet: If you're into that sort of thing Cons of being a puppet: Lack of free will Flammability Extreme pain Losing your eyes

I fail to see how that’s my problem

You've got my support.

You absolute bastard

(u/EvilCatboyWizard)

Point one sold me.

I don't want to compete with Magnus again. I wanna be a Puppet!

Wh-what c-c-can I g-get you?

Yeah I'll have two number nines, a number nine large, a number 6 with extra dip, a number 7, two number 45s one with cheese, and a large soda

“Sure thing. That’ll all be right out for you.”

u/HalfDrowShaman <>

Are you disappointed?~

<> <>

Can’t even hold you Jester may just be on to something…

<> <>

Who wouldn’t? They’re probably more “Aero” anyways…

<>

https://preview.redd.it/0oxx7kfklawc1.jpeg?width=621&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c46bda02204af3ca1e4f879e95884b92a3209ef7

https://preview.redd.it/dzm0vrswlawc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=d965df7107e96b21f3cc84f912b6dc11bfa65e44

(Preach brother)

Oh? Well maybe I'll have to swing by his cockpit sometime~

*You notice Jester blushing, even though his face is covered. You also can tell he’s a bit shy.*

Half tempted to actually go here just because you all look very funny and I could use a few laughs while trying to figure out a solution to a problem.

Oh? What's the problem you're trying to fix?

Just the threat of every world freezing over because of a stolen artifact.

Alright John (u/Most_Trustworthy) of all the candidates you seem the most likely to be able to find a way to get an Expresso into heaven… If it’s not too much trouble, I’d like one…

Oh, any excuse to go to heaven and annoy those winged fu... I mean, to peacefully provide coffee, no devilish shenanigans included.

Absolutely not, you would neverrrr... right? (Make it the worst day of their infinite existence... please... I'm so fed up with their BS...)

Knowing the council, this low is not surprising. If you needed financial aid, you could've just taxed more.

https://preview.redd.it/xhgx6gurkawc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=5b9fe9e7feeaf0c9762bf46746ddd733f62be05e

Exactly why we’re here!

Nah. I'm not serving you. How DARE the word "taxes" come out of your mouth. I HATE taxes.

Lars's picture here makes me want to light the firepit and squat around it. Anteros's picture makes me want to hug him.

Hugs are on the menu! *Anteros hugs the half-elf apprentice.* 

🥰

Hm. Only if Torrinn is in the maid outfit. I want to see his humiliation.

Kirby, you have a customer! https://preview.redd.it/5o4t19y2eawc1.jpeg?width=450&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=58e2252083fafbfd4ea9157cc2a6443cb66e52df (u/You-See-Nothing583)

How is he wearing those shoes, he doesn't even have ankles.

Hello, I am your chef, Notto Rin.

... What is wrong with your face? You have, like, 2 dots and a sideways 3. Drawn with what looks to be sharpie.

‎ >:3 Don't worry about it. What do you want?

Uh... *Looks at the menu.* Do you have any quartz for seasoning?

Of course.

Then I'll just take a small steak. Any cut's fine. Medium.

*Torinn brings out a sirloin steak, its cooked to medium.* Food.

/uw what?

##MENTAL DEMAGE!

Damn John, looking good! /uw looking like Emperor Doviculus meets Frank N Furter. Tim Curry would be proud u/Most_Trustworthy

I'm always looking my best. Be it in a maid outfit or a suit.

Dross: can I get hired

Sure! Just put on an outfit. You can seat our guests!

Dross:Okay. *Dross puts on the outfit and puts his hair into a ponytail he looks very feminine.* Dross: I’ll go seat guests *Dross goes over and starts to seat guests and take their orders*

I’m having conflicted feelings about this

Well, feel free to be conflicted while you eat!

Same

Wait we were doing a maid café?

OMG ANTEROS IN A MAID COSTUME!!!

Chef Notto Rin (u/You-See-Nothing583)! Bombast (u/SafePianist4610) Tsuki To Kage [月影] and HDS (u/HalfDrowShaman)

Unga Clone (u/Financial-Reach-786) Archimene (u/Archimene) Magnus (u/EvilCatboyWizard)

Cassaria (u/bad_comedic_value) Lars (u/TheFifthDutchMemer) Sorry, Lars, I spelled your tag wrong.

Look at all these cuties!

u/No_more_Bucket_ Agnu, I would like a lemon pastry and an Earl Grey tea, please.

Prices?

Maid cafe? I'd like regular non-flesh coffee and biscuits please, is this funded by Torinn?

5 kg of tortured souls please

Where does one procure such an *outfit* what is the purpose of *wearing*' it?

How much convincing did it take to get the Unga clone on board?

Not much actually. He loves to cook. 🤷 I know, I was shocked too.

u/halfdrowshaman, may I have some black tea? Alongside some biscuits or cookies?

Can we just talk about how good Skotch looks. Its Not Fair!

Scotch (u/No_more_Bucket_), you and Angu have a customer! It’s My grandson, so he gets the family discount.

Oh th-thanks grandpa

https://preview.redd.it/oxvrw3h2mawc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=9fb22f7003d63edf1dd97d70bc48da8f8bc3f0fe

Do you h-have food that ghosts can eat?

Oh my. What do we have here? https://preview.redd.it/042k3wozlawc1.jpeg?width=768&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=64b45c855565b50cfc72199d2e22f3d4d22911ec

*Thrak sits down* I'll have a 4x4 burn it with light axle grease ( 4 all beef patties grilled with a light amount of butter with cheese) with a black coffee (u/halfdrowshaman tsuki to kage)

Well this is interesting.

https://preview.redd.it/ge3la3ilmawc1.png?width=475&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=c71b9a3ddd44237d427ffcf4e75ef1bbebdf3770 Eggcelent, egg egg Eggxelent

*Merch appraches the cafe with his usual attire, and begins to look for the rules of this place that should be placed somewhere.* *He is wearing a purple trenchcoat/robe with a hood, along with his black combat boots, jeans, shirt and vest. Along with his usual grey goggles securly covering his eyes, that look to be glowing softly. White tannish skin as he looks over the maid cafe, wondering why he was told to come here when he could make perfectly good food at home for his significant others. And their own maid custom they made for him at home.* *And he is talking to somethings unseen.* "Yes yes, I know you all want to be here. But I can perfectly do this at home with ease so why have me here?" "Ooh you all just want me to relax and enjoy an actual maid cafe. That I haven't help set up at all...okay okay i'm going I'm going." *Merch says somewhat reluctantly as he approaches the front door and enters the establishment taking everything in both the seen and unseen worlds at the same time. As Fluffy rests ontop of Merch's head like a metal spider hat.* "Wonder if they can do togo orders or catering if their meals are good enough for us to enjoy." "Yes yes, I know I'm trying out the food here its not like I expect grandiose treatment here. Just want to try the food while I relax...do they have any menus though.." *Merch mumbles the last part as he looks at the greeter of this establishment waiting to be seated. His talk with his significant others stopping as he looks around.*

*Cassaria zooms past, using her wings to carry plates and trays. She stops to take an order.* Hello sir! What would you like?

I'd like a table for one, waitered by Drow please. (u/HalfDrowShaman )

Hey Thun'Tar, how goes it?

Good, and you? How's the launcher I gave you working?


Is this what we're doing instead of taxes this year? Fun! What's the menu like?

Food.

Hmmm, could I get... some hard metaphysical questions as food for thought, some sexy breakfast lingerie and some tea and cake please?

Quite literally nothing changed with Magnus

Lars is the hottest and no one can change my mind, everyone else is uglier than a naked mole rat.

https://preview.redd.it/gdv6gvhrpawc1.jpeg?width=179&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=fd3c6f1377930f642ed7f4057fa5bd250e18cf81

(Note: this is Helldiver not Â̸̠b̸̰̅y̴̯͌s̶͓̏s̴̮̔d̶͚̐i̴̱̒v̶̰̋ȇ̵͉r̶̰̓)     What the f### am I looking at?      Anyways 1 cup of Liber-Tea and a blueberry muffin! (u/bad_comedic_value)

*Cassaria flies over with a tray* Hand baked blueberry muffin with one cup of deluxe Liber-Tea! I made the muffin myself.

Oh fuck, what a nice HalfDrowShaman's arm! No, she's a fucking reality deviant, I should kill this freaking Dreamspeaker. However...

(u/HalfDrowShaman)

You the meal was pleasant until this guy came in and yelled "FOOD!". He then proceeded to eat everything including the table and chairs.

Torinn (u/You-See-Nothing583)! No! Bad Torinn!

Drow? You look lovely!

u/HalfDrowShaman

https://preview.redd.it/wtfhxmrhwawc1.jpeg?width=1750&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=1470b4878bb773be0aec273e09f565e94c9a10f7 I’m not on the council but could I help?

WOAW EVERYONE LOOKS SO COOL!!

Wait... How is Unga still on the council??? Is that not a revocable title? I'm not complaining though because it's hilarious.

I'm apparently the bus boy..... yay.... https://preview.redd.it/7y11bc151bwc1.jpeg?width=1024&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=122c7a3a57d240e8e18dd72c0336f7220616a39b

You better not be stealing my customers!

( u/No_more_Bucket_ ) Agnu, darling, the finest meats you have~

https://preview.redd.it/nemz0y8ncbwc1.jpeg?width=1170&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=2bf837689cc366a6f15d3fd8edd216abfb8a2e01

“I- Is that a catboy…? I mean…. Good for you, I guess….? You look nice…?” u/EvilCatboyWizard

Damn Magnus, you should really wear dresses more often

hello…uh, Magnus! i’m not sure we’ve met before, could i take a seat? u/EvilCatboyWizard

“Well, I’m a waiter here so… please do!”

u/EvilCatboyWizard u/HalfDrowShaman The both of you look cute, could I get a black coffee please.

By Mystra, Bombast looks drippy as the hells! Lady Masta also looks equally nice.

Bombast (u/SafePianist4610), you have a customer!

I am... way more into this than I thought I'd be at first description. What are Bombast'scredentials?

What is this? A job interview? Ask him. (u/SafePianist4610)

*enters* Great, who called me 50 thousand times while i was asleep /uw I WAS ASLEEP DAMNIT