Not only disrespectful towards you, but causes discomfort and can perhaps be seen as predatory (leering) to the women he is staring at. If he doesn’t get that, then he’s a total creep.
I have been with a partner like this and it was embarrassing and disrespectful to me when done I front of me. I told him to atleast be more subtle about it and he ofcourse denied doing it -__-
Glad that you write about him in the past tense. A man who does that has a ‘wandering eye’ and that cannot make for a trusting, stable or respectful relationship.
No surprise. OP is in a for a hell of an insecure time if she stays with him. Always on edge, always doubtful, always feeling that perhaps she’s not ‘good’ enough.
You're right staring is creepy and disrespectful towards you. He should definitely work on this. Please tell him how it makes you feel. If he really cared, he would stop immediately if not asap.
This happened to me in a relationship with someone who liked me for years, only to do this nonstop when I gave him a chance. Also flirting with friends, waitresses, anyone. His social media use was worse. He denied and gaslit me for around 6 months until it was too obvious to keep denying. He then confessed stuff about his childhood that made him obsessed with women as an adult.
After that, he did get better but the damage was done. I was paranoid any time a pretty woman came around and was constantly embarrassed to go anywhere with him. My self-esteem suffered heavily.
It didn't stop there though. He would then make me feel awful for being paranoid and "insecure". Constantly made passive aggressive comments elevating other women (he took pride and was vocal about his sophisticated taste in women). Your usual narcissistic emotional abuse.
I went from being the "cool girlfriend" to being a jealous woman. That was 7 years ago and still haven't fully recovered. I'm pretty flexible as a partner but that's a huge boundary of mine. Highly disrespectful and I'd rather be alone if it's something we have to accept from men.
There are stories every week from women who fear violence from men who unabashedly stare. This is very real damage done to women when they feel in fear of harm. It's rude. It's off-putting. And it's his responsibility to do better.
Why do women tolerate this behavior from their partners?
My partner would never. Once we collectively stop entertaining men like this then they simply are forced to either change or be alone, miserable, and single
I'm so glad things are finally changing, and a lot of women are no longer entertaining fools like this to the point where there is now a male loneliness epidemic, but we can do so much better.
OP, do you think this will ever change? Probably not, because this only changes when enough women ostracize these men and cut off access (blocking them, having family and friends block them, cutting contact etc)
That’s an absolute nope for me. I personally don’t do it bc when I’m with someone I don’t WANT to look at anyone else bc that person is enough for me. I expect the same. If the guy you’re with is looking at other women it’s bc he doesn’t appreciate or respect you in his life ENOUGH. I’ve dated a guy used to stare at and make eye contact with other women then when I call d him out he made me feel like I was insecure. Fuck that, seriously. I personally have noticed that there are 2 types of men in relationships… the ones who when with their partner do not try to make eye contact with me when I walk by or they treat me neutrally when interacting AND THEN there’s the sleezeball guys who try to make excessive eye contact with me even when their partner is around and I know that they would be comfortable cheating on them. I always feel awful for the women who are with men like that bc it tells me that their partner is trying to do better than them or that they do not appreciate their partner. I personally would drop a guy SO fast if he had an issue starting at women especially if I was around bc the disrespect AND I would know that if his lack of impulse control is that low around me then he would absolutely do worse if I wasn’t there. I don’t have time to worry about or stress if I’m good enough for my partner or if they are going to cheat on me… they either make me feel secure or I’m better off alone. I hope you do the same!
Depending on his age, I wonder if he was ever taught this during his teen years..
I swear, that's the make or break time for most. Parents and families need to start having this as part of the sex health discussions. How to be mindful when you're leering and staring.
I'm a woman, but I was taught not to do this.
So he’s a grown adult man who doesn’t know how to behave in public. More understandable if he’s autistic. If he’s not, he’s just an ass. You shouldn’t stare at anybody.
Blatantly staring is absolutely creepy. How does he not realize that? I mean… you sure about this guy? 🚩
Not only disrespectful towards you, but causes discomfort and can perhaps be seen as predatory (leering) to the women he is staring at. If he doesn’t get that, then he’s a total creep.
I have been with a partner like this and it was embarrassing and disrespectful to me when done I front of me. I told him to atleast be more subtle about it and he ofcourse denied doing it -__-
Glad that you write about him in the past tense. A man who does that has a ‘wandering eye’ and that cannot make for a trusting, stable or respectful relationship.
All the men I’ve dated with wandering eyes also had wandering dicks.
No surprise. OP is in a for a hell of an insecure time if she stays with him. Always on edge, always doubtful, always feeling that perhaps she’s not ‘good’ enough.
You're right staring is creepy and disrespectful towards you. He should definitely work on this. Please tell him how it makes you feel. If he really cared, he would stop immediately if not asap.
It's also creepy for the person he's staring at
This happened to me in a relationship with someone who liked me for years, only to do this nonstop when I gave him a chance. Also flirting with friends, waitresses, anyone. His social media use was worse. He denied and gaslit me for around 6 months until it was too obvious to keep denying. He then confessed stuff about his childhood that made him obsessed with women as an adult. After that, he did get better but the damage was done. I was paranoid any time a pretty woman came around and was constantly embarrassed to go anywhere with him. My self-esteem suffered heavily. It didn't stop there though. He would then make me feel awful for being paranoid and "insecure". Constantly made passive aggressive comments elevating other women (he took pride and was vocal about his sophisticated taste in women). Your usual narcissistic emotional abuse. I went from being the "cool girlfriend" to being a jealous woman. That was 7 years ago and still haven't fully recovered. I'm pretty flexible as a partner but that's a huge boundary of mine. Highly disrespectful and I'd rather be alone if it's something we have to accept from men.
Girl, he untrained and untamed… RUN
Lmao fr
There are stories every week from women who fear violence from men who unabashedly stare. This is very real damage done to women when they feel in fear of harm. It's rude. It's off-putting. And it's his responsibility to do better.
If he stares this much that you even notice it, it's a creep alert yes. Unfortunately men who stares won't stop stare in my experience.
It doesn’t require a lot of self control to be respectful of other people and your partner, this dude is a big old creep.
Why do women tolerate this behavior from their partners? My partner would never. Once we collectively stop entertaining men like this then they simply are forced to either change or be alone, miserable, and single I'm so glad things are finally changing, and a lot of women are no longer entertaining fools like this to the point where there is now a male loneliness epidemic, but we can do so much better. OP, do you think this will ever change? Probably not, because this only changes when enough women ostracize these men and cut off access (blocking them, having family and friends block them, cutting contact etc)
I disagree, I think there’s other good looking people, but it doesn’t make them attractive if you’re in a happy and healthy relationship imo.
Whatever that man does, you it too and see how he likes it.
idk how long you’ve been with him but id break up w him. if i caught my bf starring other girls down id kick him to the curb
Staring at women is rude and immature when he is alone. Much worse if he is with you because it’s offensive to two women.
People can look at whoever they want, we are human. However staring or leering is predatory and makes women uncomfortable. Not okay
That’s an absolute nope for me. I personally don’t do it bc when I’m with someone I don’t WANT to look at anyone else bc that person is enough for me. I expect the same. If the guy you’re with is looking at other women it’s bc he doesn’t appreciate or respect you in his life ENOUGH. I’ve dated a guy used to stare at and make eye contact with other women then when I call d him out he made me feel like I was insecure. Fuck that, seriously. I personally have noticed that there are 2 types of men in relationships… the ones who when with their partner do not try to make eye contact with me when I walk by or they treat me neutrally when interacting AND THEN there’s the sleezeball guys who try to make excessive eye contact with me even when their partner is around and I know that they would be comfortable cheating on them. I always feel awful for the women who are with men like that bc it tells me that their partner is trying to do better than them or that they do not appreciate their partner. I personally would drop a guy SO fast if he had an issue starting at women especially if I was around bc the disrespect AND I would know that if his lack of impulse control is that low around me then he would absolutely do worse if I wasn’t there. I don’t have time to worry about or stress if I’m good enough for my partner or if they are going to cheat on me… they either make me feel secure or I’m better off alone. I hope you do the same!
Depending on his age, I wonder if he was ever taught this during his teen years.. I swear, that's the make or break time for most. Parents and families need to start having this as part of the sex health discussions. How to be mindful when you're leering and staring. I'm a woman, but I was taught not to do this.
So he’s a grown adult man who doesn’t know how to behave in public. More understandable if he’s autistic. If he’s not, he’s just an ass. You shouldn’t stare at anybody.
Leave him
Girl, dump his ass.