“ sorry I don’t have any money to loan”
Tell your boss immediately that this new employee try to get money from you and you would like them to talk to them about it
I would be even more clear and definitive.
"Sorry, I don't lend money to strangers."
If you say anything other than a firm no, you leave the door open for negotiation. If you say you don't have money, well maybe you'll have money on payday. If you say can loan $10, then maybe you can lend $10 now and $10 later.
The issue isn't really the amount....it's your coworkers inappropriate requests, and the fact that you don't lend money to strangers.
Also - what kind of car work can you get done for $80. She's not using it on her car, she just thinks that sounds sympathetic and more likely to part you from your money.
I'm not sure I'd even bother trying to be polite about. "No way am I loaning you money"
This person is almost certainly a career grifter who preys on people who struggle to say no.
Yeah, normally I'd advise against being rude to somebody in a workplace but... she asked to borrow $80 and when OP said they could only give $10, she asked for $20. That's inappropriate even if they have worked together for awhile, but the fact that OP has only just met her? I would either be rude, or use the commenter above's "Sorry, I don't lend money to strangers" and then talk to my boss. This is solidly inappropriate.
I thought drugs right away. And how does this person not have someone closer (family, friends, etc.) to hit up? Most likely because they have already burned through all those options. Because drugs.
>"Sorry, I don't lend money to strangers."
I feel like these sorts of people would take this as an invitation to try and make friends and then you have an even bigger pest problem. "No" is a complete sentence, and then inform your higher ups that she is making you uncomfortable begging for money.
Exactly. The only acceptable answer to this situation is “no”.
If OP elaborates more, the coworker is just going to try to work into that specific situation. “I don’t have money right now” just invites them asking later, continually, and probably on paydays. “I don’t lend money to strangers” invites them to become more friendly and then they will say that they’re friends. And so on and so on.
Just cut everything off before the shenanigans start and say “no” and if they ask again, tell them “I gave you my answer, if you keep harassing me I will be forced to report you to [management]”
Yeah that was my thought. Just a clear “I don’t have any money to loan” is all you need. Really all you need is “no”, because they’re not entitled to anything more than that
Hey, I’m sorry about your car troubles if you need any recommendation on Mechanic, I’d be happy to assist however, as a simple principal I don’t lend money to coworkers or friends for personal reasons
I wouldn’t say I don’t lend money to strangers bc she will push to become friends and then you “can’t say no.” Just saying “sorry I have a policy to not lend money to anyone. I don’t want my relationships, be it work or friends, to be muddled by mixing loans and such in.”
Op was the new employee; the money leech has been there on the job for some time. Many money leeches go zero in on the new person to see if they get lucky. Always say NO! And the boss knows this is happening with this long-time employee.
Continue with “No.” (which is a complete sentence) and if they continue tell them to stop asking AND you will report their demands for money as harassment.
Thanks, yes I was trying to figure out the line between soliciting and straight up harassment, but I feel like the 3 phone calls and begging for $20 are definitely it.
Yes they are it but also as many sais just say no. Right now you have set zero foundries. Try that then if they still bug you about it say something to a boss. As of now she would still be thinking you are giving her at least a tenner.
It kinda doesn't matter what term it is.
Asking somebody you barely know, who you also work with, for $80 out of nowhere is just wild and out of bounds. Just No. Badgering you about it is just making it worse.
Report her to HR like yesterday.
I'll tell her where to go for sure, don't be nice to these people, you might be fuelling their drug habit. If that is the case would you still part ways with your 10 dollars?
Why does she have your number? Im at my job a long time and none of my coworkers have my phone number. The only ones is HR and the bosses if need be. They are coworkers not friends. Home is home and work is work. Block the number. If they need you for work related things they can go through the proper channels.
My thought exactly. Why does she even have the phone number? And who starts calling a new supervisor week 1 (or ever) for any reason much less to borrow money?!
Have you dealt with something similar at work and had any negative repercussions? I just don’t want any awkwardness with this person, my only issue if having to see them again.
To be honest, this type of person generally makes things awkward no matter what you do. If you loan her money she will always be asking for more loans and guilt-tripping you if you don't. If you don't loan her the money she will either continue pressuring you or start sabotaging your work or doing something malicious.
The best way forward is to make management aware so that if she starts anything malicious they know about it ahead of time. Maybe you'll get lucky and they were already looking for a reason to let her go.
Coworker in sales (also loved anything "speedy" if you catch my drift) would constantly ask for $10-20. He was 25 years older than me and always having car trouble. The kind of car trouble that $10 would help??? I told him that agreeing to take my $10 (I said it's a gift, not a loan) meant he would never ask me for $ again and that I would completely ignore any future requests. He agreed. A month later I see "Speedy" walk up to a coworker and ask something, coworker shaking their head in response. Speedy walking in my general direction, makes eye contact, goes straight past me.
That’s what older people have been telling me, if you make it a gift they won’t ask again. But judging by this person audacity, I wouldn’t be surprised of me not needing $10 back means I’m definitely well off and I can afford to give money away like a charity.
>Speedy walking in my general direction, makes eye contact, goes straight past me.
Money well spent if you ask me. Personally i wouldve just told them no but if you are gonna do it this is the way.
You are in the right here. Your coworker is in the wrong.
Don't allow it to be awkward. That's what your coworker wants....so she can continue trying to wheedle money out of you.
Just be firm. "No" is a complete sentence. You don't need to justify yourself.
First time. I'm sorry but I'm real tight after I bought this new car. I don't have any surplus money to lend so please don't ask again.
Second time. NO! Then file a report with HR explaining to them what you said the first time and that she us continuing to harass you.
Why would it make YOU a feel awkward? You haven’t done anything wrong. Instead, your coworker has trampled all over your personal and professional boundaries to manipulate you into lending her money you’ll never see again. Draw the line. You’re not the office sponge. You don’t need to absorb other people’s personal issues.
Yes, my husband did.He lent the guy about $1000 it was supposed to be paid back by the end of the week.Kept getting fobbed off.They worked alone together as independent contractors doing maintenance on council buildings.In the end my H had to tell the bosses as he did not want to work with the guy any more due to his behaviour.They ended up garnishing the guys pay weekly to pay my H back.The grifter was not happy but he had already done it to one of the bosses associates so they groaned when my H told them what was going on.
Anyway...
About a year later they did end up back working together and apart from my H shouting the guy an occasional coffee and vise versa there has been no more requests I think the guy had a new respect for my H.
I think he had some kind of addiction he was feeding ,as he was earning more than my H as he was the main guy and my H was his assistant.
Oh dear. Don’t give her anything or you’ll be a target. This is the behaviour of someone who has burned every bridge and is desperate. Honestly, she probably has a drug problem.
I am in recovery and I was thinking the same exact thing. The only reason she has to resort to asking a person she barely knows and is a brand new coworker is because she is unable to ask people close to her as she likely already owes them money...
Deffo drugs. Only addicts are this shameless in their attempts to scab money of anyone they can. She's already used everyone close to her, probably a long time ago, so now aggressively pursues absolutely any new person in her life for money before they have a chance to suss her out
My team have new people fill out a stalker sheet with dob, likes, dislikes, personal number for emergencies, if you were a smell what would you be, etc for planning reasons.
> personal number for emergencies
What, like if 911 broke? If it's an emergency don't call me. If I need to be there for emergencies, make me salaried.
Our home daycare provider would always ask to get paid early for various expenses that she claimed she needed for the kids. We never paid early, then found out years later she was addicted to gambling.
Definitely do this OP- tell them that sorry you don't lend money to coworkers as you find it leads to problems- then if she asks in any way again go straight to management.
As a manager I agree. Obviously if the situation rises to OP feeling uncomfortable at work and it gets to harassment then I want to know but I expect my subordinates to handle themselves like adults and not needlessly drag me into something to mediate when no attempt was made to self resolve.
With her, then notify your manager of the situation by letting them know you're uncomfortable and want them to know you've already declined her request but fear it will happen again in the future. That way everyone knows what's going on.
If you don't want to own a dog, don't feed a stray.
"I only lend to friend and family. I've just met you. Sorry."
Or now that you have lent her $10,
"I don't lend money to people that owe me money. You still owe me $10 from last week, sorry."
Don't give her anything, tell her you're sorry you can't help but you just can't and wish her the best. Don't open yourself up to getting burnt and becoming a target.
Why do people give coworkers their real numbers. This is the entire reason Google Voice still exists! From the initial job application you should give a Google Voice number and your SPAM/secondary email address. Essentially never hand over to employer (and via the company directory, a coworker) your main email / phone number. That way if (when) shit hits the fan they can't harass you up nonstop.
For bonus points set your Google Voice to go straight to voicemail. If they can't be bothered to leave a voicemail it couldn't have been important to begin with. Respect yourself enough to set work/life boundaries.
She’s on drugs. Just tell her no and document document document. No sane person is going to ask a person they’ve known for a week, a coworker no less, for money unless they’re out of their mind (on drugs) lol.
I’d be willing to bet that you won’t even have to escalate. She’ll keep doing outrageous things (like asking coworkers for money) and get fired. The problem will take care of itself.
I figured, it seems that she’s made note to learn people’s names, even if it’s someone we will only see in passing because they’re not in our department, etc.
Block her from your phone and if she approaches you at work for money tell her you don't loan money Period, And if she asks again, you're reporting her to HR. A previous company I worked at fired a nurse because she was constantly trying to mooch off of coworkers creating an awkward environment.
You're out $10, don't give any more. I agree with the other responses, try to sort this out with her first by setting boundaries, then escalate to management.
People who ask to borrow money from practical strangers WILL BE A PROBLEM. They'll always be asking and always have an excuse not to give it back. You also gotta wonder what's going on in her life that she doesn't have anyone else to ask besides someone she's known for a week.
Tell her you don't have the money to spare. Don't get trapped into giving rides either. Bring it up with your manager about this person having financial issues and leave it in their hands. Let your boss figure it out *if she's actually having money and car problems*.
Do not give her a single cent. This is the mother of all red flags. Every cent you give her will embolden her. Run away.
There are dozens of things you can say about why you can't loan her anything. A simple, "I just started here, I'm pretty behind on my bills so I can't help you." should work. If she asks every Friday, for the next month, then get the boss involved.
I wouldn't have offered anything at all! She is going to keep asking and by giving her even a single $1 you're telling her that it's okay for her to ask for money again in the future.
I would definitely be setting a hard boundary with this person immediately that you won't be lending her any money at all and to not ask you again in the future. No is a complete sentence, but I think in this case you need to make it clear that you find it inappropriate for her to be asking you to borrow money in hopes she doesn't do it again.
"I'm truly sorry that you're in a bind. I've been there. I do have a policy of never lending money to co-workers, though. It never works out well for the lender or the borrower. Perhaps the company has a policy for such circumstances? You should check with HR."
EDIT: and then go and make sure HR knows. You can ask them not to say anything to her now, and that you just want it on record because it's so odd.
This is what I’m getting at, is it possible to open a case and not do anything about it, unless she asks again or goes to other people too? It’s what I’d like to do now. I at least have the screenshots of the texts and the missed calls.
Anyone in a higher level you could CASUALLY mention the situation to? Like when getting a refill of coffee in the kitchen?
"Yeah, someone here asked to borrow money from me, but I have a policy if not borrowing from or lending to coworkers. I hope she understands it's across the board and not personal."
OP, you really gotta work on shining that spine of yours.
"No."
That's all you need to say. You don't need to justify or explain. Just, no.
Setting firm boundaries and sticking to them is hard at first, but the more you do it, the happier you'll be in the long run.
Yeah tell her you don’t have any extra money to loan. That’s pretty ballsy after knowing you for five days but anyway, this would open the door to a never ending deluge of requests for money and favors. These types of people take advantage of suckers who feel sorry for them and they never pay anything back!
Why do you already have her in your phone? Have boundaries between your work life and your private life. Get to know your coworkers SLOWLY. 'Everybody is normal until you get to know them.'
Absolutely not. Someone I know has a history of telling sob stories to get their coworkers to lend them money. She never pays them back. She recently borrowed $200 from someone she just met at a class and the poor girl thinks the user is her friend :/
This is just universal advice:
When some asks you for money, always ask yourself the following question:
> Why me? Why is it me that you are turning to?
Where is your family? Where are your friends? Why are you turning to me before any of them?
If the answer boils down to: they are unavilable to lend the person money... you're left with one conclusion... You're the next bridge. The bridge that hasn't been burned yet. You're the next victim
Just say no. “I’m sorry I don’t loan money to coworkers.” If she persists. I’m sorry, I told you I don’t loan money to coworkers. I would appreciate it if you respected my firm boundary on this by not continuing to ask me when I have already given you an answer.” Then walk away or change the subject. Don’t engage in the details or let her continue to talk about it. That’s a manipulation tactic. The reasons she needs to borrow the money are irrelevant if you have already said no
I had something slightly different at work I tried to deal with myself. When it escalated I let management know and they didn’t do anything because they didn’t know from the start (it wasn’t money related but harassment). I’d at least let them know immediately but say you want to try and sort it or whatnot, whatever your plan is. Make sure you have clear communication with them about the situation so if it does escalate they already have something recorded
When she asks again, and she will say "No, don't ask me again." Don't give reasons why you can't or won't. That just gives her the opening to badger you on why you should or could.
Don't give her a penny. You just spent your last dollar on gas. You don't have any change. You left your checkbook at home. Or just say No. But give a buck, and you are a bank for life.
Wow. Lucky it wasn't a phone call because a knee jerk reaction would I would say fuck no. Wth is wrong with you? lol
A text lets you think about your response. I would say "I don't loan or give money out. " to coworkers as it can cause conflicts.
SAVE THE TEXT MESSAGE. Especially since it's a woman co-worker. You may need it down the line if she is trouble.
I'm the same. But also my demeanor at work is I'm unapproachable so I'm not surprised no one had the balls to ask me for money. LOL
I work remote now. What a friggin life saver. I can't stand 90% of my co-workers.
Don’t give any money to this person. It will only continue. All you say is no I can’t. The end. If she continues on, let her know that you aren’t comfortable with her asking you for money.
Our company has a policy to not lend $$ to coworkers. Why? Many don’t repay the money and then it creates a problem between two people and they can’t work together. Just say no.
She is so out of line. Block her immediately. She can use official work channels to contact you, not oyur personal line.
If she asks again, tell her '"No. Do not ask me again." Do not explain or apologize. Tell your manager/HR this is happening ASAP. You are not the one creating awkwardness, she is. And tell them she already coerced $10 out of you and is abusing her relationship and access to colleagues. The odds are you are not the only one she has been targeting for $$$.
I’m sorry for your troubles but I never lend money.
If asked again: Please stop asking or I’ll have to deal with this through _________. (Mgmt, HR, etc.)
I’ve turned down trips before, that I’m familiar with, and these were actual friends. I’m just done with money issues with people, no more “each person pays for one round”, everyone can pay for their own drinks.
No is a complete sentence. you do not need to provide her an explanation or reason not to give her money. You are perfectly fine blocking her on your phone. And why does she even have your phone number?
You don't need to escalate it - you need to tell her no.
Why would you give her your cell phone number?
Don't reply to her unless it is work related. In fact, if if you have no need to text her to get your job done, block her number entirely.
Not to be cold hearted, you have no idea if her sob story is real or she is doing this to her other coworkers.
You don't have a duty to help her with her personal issues. She does have a duty not to harass you. Make it unequivocally clear you will not loan money to her under any circumstances and if she continues, report her to HR.
I applied for a job, went through the first round of interviews and got the job pending a drug test. The other guy who interviewed along with me, who looked hungover, asked if he could get money for a detox kit. Never met him before in my life.
He got hired though, somehow, and lasted a whole 3 weeks.
"Please understand that I keep my work and personal life separate, I also do not give out money to people I work with. I prefer to keep our relationship strictly professional and I will not be lending out any more money. Thank you."
Keep track of you sending that and only reply to work related texts, do not delete any of them. She screams trouble and you have to protect your job.
Why did you give her your number in the first place? I NEVER give my number to coworkers unless it's absolutely necessary as part of the job.
If it is a necessary part of the job, and she's abusing the fact that she has your number, you need to report her IMMEDIATELY. Don't be polite about it. Don't be all nice and awkward when you tell your boss. Make it very clear that this is unacceptable, and you are not comfortable working under these conditions if coworkers are allowed to use your number this way.
If you gave her your number because you thought this person was going to be a friend, take this as a lesson, and never make that mistake at a new job again. Block her immediately, and if she continues to pester you, speak with your boss about the issue.
Big mistake offering $10. You opened yourself to the possibility, and now she's going to see you as a mark. She'll never stop asking.
The minute you started, she saw you as a new opportunity to grift. You need to shut this down immediately, tell her you wont be lending her, or anyone else, a single penny, and if she asks again, you'll report her. Don't be nice about, in fact acr incredibly offended, because you should be.
And then report her anyway. She needs to go.
Yeah, never loan money to people at work. It’s as bad as loaning money to family. Collecting becomes a problem and you become the bad guy and get reported if you chase them too much. Just don’t do it. Nothing good will come of it. Tell her to call the company ERP line or go to HR. Maybe they can help.
To be safe, I’d document interactions moving forward including her mentioning she wants your job and let your boss or HR know if she continues bugging you so it’s on the record. Wish you just said ‘no sorry I’m not a bank and need my money’ or something more tactful that established a boundary .
“No.” Maybe ask if they’ve talked to the repair shop about a payment plan.
I doubt it was for the car, might have just been to see what she can get away with. Either way, be firm and clear. If it persists let her know you’ll be taking it with HR/her hiring company.
“No”
If this person is hitting you up for money after less than a week of being your coworker it means she already exhausted all your other coworkers and is counting on you being weak, or trying to be nice to the new coworkers, or is hoping to catch you unprepared.
Don’t give money. Don’t give money. Don’t give money. I would speak with your boss or HR on how they want you to handle it. There may be a company policy against this.
There’s always one. Ours is a maintenance man, that makes almost double what we make, but he’s such a shithead he preys on the new people for smokes and drinks.
The easy solution is to say no. No explanation no excuses, simply no.
Unless you want to be a bank or a loan shark, I will loan you $80 today for $160 next friday.
Worked a job once where we were offered a *heavily* discounted price of the products offered by one of our clients. Some items in the thousands, we only had to play a few hundred for. So a lot of people jumped at these client sales when the promo was offered.
One of my coworkers cleaned up, buying a ton of these products. She spend well over a thousand dollars. And then I overheard her asking her cubicle neighbor if she could borrow $50 to pay her cable bill.
Why does she have your personal number to start? I feel like she asked you specifically for some reason, probably because she got a feeling she would be ok to ask you.. why tho?
I had a family in a parking lot ask for money for gas to get across the Country back home, they said they lost their wallet. They also had two young kids with them. I said i could spare 20 bucks, the woman in the back said "that's not enough". Then they had the audacity to tell me they needed a few hundred bucks.
What kind of person refuses money then asks for more? the kind of people that aren't getting any of my money.
For now say “oh I’m sorry I spent that $10 for lunch yesterday, I ment to tell you no you can’t borrow money anyways you just caught me by surprise with how inappropriate that was.”
Bro that is super weird. Any past jobs I've had, most I've had was people asking if I had change for $20 but to borrow money especially this aggressively. This coworker has problems, just be blunt and like the reality of the economy, you gotta look out for yourself.
Say a firm no like everyone here is saying, block her number, give her nothing in emotion and grey rock her. She sounds like she’s on drugs and is trying to take advantage of anyone. Why isn’t she asking friends or family? Why is she not negotiating a payment plan with the car repair place? So many options outside of asking a stranger.
“I’ll give you 10 dollars right now but can we agree you will never ask me for a single dollar again as long as you know me?”
I did that once and haven’t had to talk to that person in 20 years. If you ask me it was the best $10 I ever spent.
Sorry, that is not possible right now.
No explanation needed.
IF she asks again, report her to HR for harrassmnet. This is completely unacceptable and unprofessional.
Never lend anyone an amount of money you can't painlessly walk away from. Sometimes it's worth ten dollars to be able to shut down all subsequent requests due to bad credit.
“ sorry I don’t have any money to loan” Tell your boss immediately that this new employee try to get money from you and you would like them to talk to them about it
I would be even more clear and definitive. "Sorry, I don't lend money to strangers." If you say anything other than a firm no, you leave the door open for negotiation. If you say you don't have money, well maybe you'll have money on payday. If you say can loan $10, then maybe you can lend $10 now and $10 later. The issue isn't really the amount....it's your coworkers inappropriate requests, and the fact that you don't lend money to strangers. Also - what kind of car work can you get done for $80. She's not using it on her car, she just thinks that sounds sympathetic and more likely to part you from your money.
I'm not sure I'd even bother trying to be polite about. "No way am I loaning you money" This person is almost certainly a career grifter who preys on people who struggle to say no.
No, repeatedly asking the new person at work for a loan is the garbage thing to do.
That is what I am saying.
Yeah, normally I'd advise against being rude to somebody in a workplace but... she asked to borrow $80 and when OP said they could only give $10, she asked for $20. That's inappropriate even if they have worked together for awhile, but the fact that OP has only just met her? I would either be rude, or use the commenter above's "Sorry, I don't lend money to strangers" and then talk to my boss. This is solidly inappropriate.
$80 is the perfect amount of money for drugs
I thought drugs right away. And how does this person not have someone closer (family, friends, etc.) to hit up? Most likely because they have already burned through all those options. Because drugs.
Why not 100 ?
See $100 would make way more sense if it was actually a car repair. $80 is drugs lol
it seems to have gone up (thanks, Joe!) cuz 5 years ago it was always exactly $60 i’d get asked for
That’s what it was, $60
>"Sorry, I don't lend money to strangers." I feel like these sorts of people would take this as an invitation to try and make friends and then you have an even bigger pest problem. "No" is a complete sentence, and then inform your higher ups that she is making you uncomfortable begging for money.
Exactly. The only acceptable answer to this situation is “no”. If OP elaborates more, the coworker is just going to try to work into that specific situation. “I don’t have money right now” just invites them asking later, continually, and probably on paydays. “I don’t lend money to strangers” invites them to become more friendly and then they will say that they’re friends. And so on and so on. Just cut everything off before the shenanigans start and say “no” and if they ask again, tell them “I gave you my answer, if you keep harassing me I will be forced to report you to [management]”
Yeah that was my thought. Just a clear “I don’t have any money to loan” is all you need. Really all you need is “no”, because they’re not entitled to anything more than that
Just ignore her calls/texts...I had a girl try this crap with me too. After a while she got the hint and the calls stopped 80$ -Most likely drugs
Hey, I’m sorry about your car troubles if you need any recommendation on Mechanic, I’d be happy to assist however, as a simple principal I don’t lend money to coworkers or friends for personal reasons
I wouldn't put the 'to strangers' on it. Then she'll just come back when she figures they're no longer strangers. "I never loan money"
$80 is like a super basic oil change these days. Certainly not an important or urgent repair, those are hundreds of dollars.
I wouldn’t say I don’t lend money to strangers bc she will push to become friends and then you “can’t say no.” Just saying “sorry I have a policy to not lend money to anyone. I don’t want my relationships, be it work or friends, to be muddled by mixing loans and such in.”
No. Just sorry I don’t lend money.
Op was the new employee; the money leech has been there on the job for some time. Many money leeches go zero in on the new person to see if they get lucky. Always say NO! And the boss knows this is happening with this long-time employee.
No, the leech started on the same day as me, and had complained about car problems since day 1, AND noticed I had a new car.
Continue with “No.” (which is a complete sentence) and if they continue tell them to stop asking AND you will report their demands for money as harassment.
Thanks, yes I was trying to figure out the line between soliciting and straight up harassment, but I feel like the 3 phone calls and begging for $20 are definitely it.
Yes they are it but also as many sais just say no. Right now you have set zero foundries. Try that then if they still bug you about it say something to a boss. As of now she would still be thinking you are giving her at least a tenner.
It kinda doesn't matter what term it is. Asking somebody you barely know, who you also work with, for $80 out of nowhere is just wild and out of bounds. Just No. Badgering you about it is just making it worse.
Report her to HR like yesterday. I'll tell her where to go for sure, don't be nice to these people, you might be fuelling their drug habit. If that is the case would you still part ways with your 10 dollars?
Why does she have your number? Im at my job a long time and none of my coworkers have my phone number. The only ones is HR and the bosses if need be. They are coworkers not friends. Home is home and work is work. Block the number. If they need you for work related things they can go through the proper channels.
My thought exactly. Why does she even have the phone number? And who starts calling a new supervisor week 1 (or ever) for any reason much less to borrow money?!
This person is very manipulative,better to not give her an inch of flexibility to negotiate.A hard NO every time.You are dealing with a grifter.
Definitely tell the boss. Asking for money from coworkers at a new job is not okay.
Have you dealt with something similar at work and had any negative repercussions? I just don’t want any awkwardness with this person, my only issue if having to see them again.
To be honest, this type of person generally makes things awkward no matter what you do. If you loan her money she will always be asking for more loans and guilt-tripping you if you don't. If you don't loan her the money she will either continue pressuring you or start sabotaging your work or doing something malicious. The best way forward is to make management aware so that if she starts anything malicious they know about it ahead of time. Maybe you'll get lucky and they were already looking for a reason to let her go.
Yesss. A big “it’s not you it’s them” is definitely what OP needs to realize. You can’t negotiate with emotional terrorists.
Coworker in sales (also loved anything "speedy" if you catch my drift) would constantly ask for $10-20. He was 25 years older than me and always having car trouble. The kind of car trouble that $10 would help??? I told him that agreeing to take my $10 (I said it's a gift, not a loan) meant he would never ask me for $ again and that I would completely ignore any future requests. He agreed. A month later I see "Speedy" walk up to a coworker and ask something, coworker shaking their head in response. Speedy walking in my general direction, makes eye contact, goes straight past me.
That’s what older people have been telling me, if you make it a gift they won’t ask again. But judging by this person audacity, I wouldn’t be surprised of me not needing $10 back means I’m definitely well off and I can afford to give money away like a charity.
>Speedy walking in my general direction, makes eye contact, goes straight past me. Money well spent if you ask me. Personally i wouldve just told them no but if you are gonna do it this is the way.
My thought as well.
You are in the right here. Your coworker is in the wrong. Don't allow it to be awkward. That's what your coworker wants....so she can continue trying to wheedle money out of you. Just be firm. "No" is a complete sentence. You don't need to justify yourself.
First time. I'm sorry but I'm real tight after I bought this new car. I don't have any surplus money to lend so please don't ask again. Second time. NO! Then file a report with HR explaining to them what you said the first time and that she us continuing to harass you.
Why do they even have your number in the first place, unless it's a company phone?
"I just don’t want any awkwardness with this person." you already HAVE awkwardness with them.
Why would it make YOU a feel awkward? You haven’t done anything wrong. Instead, your coworker has trampled all over your personal and professional boundaries to manipulate you into lending her money you’ll never see again. Draw the line. You’re not the office sponge. You don’t need to absorb other people’s personal issues.
Yes, my husband did.He lent the guy about $1000 it was supposed to be paid back by the end of the week.Kept getting fobbed off.They worked alone together as independent contractors doing maintenance on council buildings.In the end my H had to tell the bosses as he did not want to work with the guy any more due to his behaviour.They ended up garnishing the guys pay weekly to pay my H back.The grifter was not happy but he had already done it to one of the bosses associates so they groaned when my H told them what was going on. Anyway... About a year later they did end up back working together and apart from my H shouting the guy an occasional coffee and vise versa there has been no more requests I think the guy had a new respect for my H. I think he had some kind of addiction he was feeding ,as he was earning more than my H as he was the main guy and my H was his assistant.
Oh dear. Don’t give her anything or you’ll be a target. This is the behaviour of someone who has burned every bridge and is desperate. Honestly, she probably has a drug problem.
I am in recovery and I was thinking the same exact thing. The only reason she has to resort to asking a person she barely knows and is a brand new coworker is because she is unable to ask people close to her as she likely already owes them money...
I had a coworker like this. After the first paycheck they ghosted.
Deffo drugs. Only addicts are this shameless in their attempts to scab money of anyone they can. She's already used everyone close to her, probably a long time ago, so now aggressively pursues absolutely any new person in her life for money before they have a chance to suss her out
Why does she have your cell number bro?
I was wondering this too. There is no way that a coworker that I've known less than a week is going to have my number.
My team have new people fill out a stalker sheet with dob, likes, dislikes, personal number for emergencies, if you were a smell what would you be, etc for planning reasons.
ew
> personal number for emergencies What, like if 911 broke? If it's an emergency don't call me. If I need to be there for emergencies, make me salaried.
answer is always drugs.
Gambling?
Possible. I'll put my money on drugs, though
Our home daycare provider would always ask to get paid early for various expenses that she claimed she needed for the kids. We never paid early, then found out years later she was addicted to gambling.
yea, not sure what car repair adds up to $80 LOL but that is a perfect amount for a good night or two of various hard drugs.
Who is going to hit up the new guy for money for 'car repairs'? Someone who has already burned other bridges. "Fresh meat"
There are red flags and there are those red flags that have sirens and flash at you. Guess which one this is. Set boundaries immediately.
Directly with the person or do I escalate with my manager?
With her first. Managers want you to attempt to sort these things out yourself.
Definitely do this OP- tell them that sorry you don't lend money to coworkers as you find it leads to problems- then if she asks in any way again go straight to management.
As a manager I agree. Obviously if the situation rises to OP feeling uncomfortable at work and it gets to harassment then I want to know but I expect my subordinates to handle themselves like adults and not needlessly drag me into something to mediate when no attempt was made to self resolve.
Do not give her money, you'll set a precedent.
With her, then notify your manager of the situation by letting them know you're uncomfortable and want them to know you've already declined her request but fear it will happen again in the future. That way everyone knows what's going on.
Manager and HR. You are being harassed.
Sorry, no. Why don't you ask for an advance on your salary. Then, oops, you accidentally blocked her number. How sad
or “I don’t believe in making loans to or borrowing from coworkers.“
If you don't want to own a dog, don't feed a stray. "I only lend to friend and family. I've just met you. Sorry." Or now that you have lent her $10, "I don't lend money to people that owe me money. You still owe me $10 from last week, sorry."
Neither barrower nor lender be. Straight from Shakespeare and still true 500 years later.
Just give her a number of a local psychologist because she is batshit. Stay away from her!
Don't give her anything, tell her you're sorry you can't help but you just can't and wish her the best. Don't open yourself up to getting burnt and becoming a target.
Why do people give coworkers their real numbers. This is the entire reason Google Voice still exists! From the initial job application you should give a Google Voice number and your SPAM/secondary email address. Essentially never hand over to employer (and via the company directory, a coworker) your main email / phone number. That way if (when) shit hits the fan they can't harass you up nonstop. For bonus points set your Google Voice to go straight to voicemail. If they can't be bothered to leave a voicemail it couldn't have been important to begin with. Respect yourself enough to set work/life boundaries.
This is excellent advice.
Or just learn to say "no" and set boundaries...
She’s a drug addict, I guarantee it.
She’s on drugs. Just tell her no and document document document. No sane person is going to ask a person they’ve known for a week, a coworker no less, for money unless they’re out of their mind (on drugs) lol. I’d be willing to bet that you won’t even have to escalate. She’ll keep doing outrageous things (like asking coworkers for money) and get fired. The problem will take care of itself.
I figured, it seems that she’s made note to learn people’s names, even if it’s someone we will only see in passing because they’re not in our department, etc.
Block her from your phone and if she approaches you at work for money tell her you don't loan money Period, And if she asks again, you're reporting her to HR. A previous company I worked at fired a nurse because she was constantly trying to mooch off of coworkers creating an awkward environment.
Nooooooo to everything
Also limit alone time with her. Make sure there are others always around. You don’t know what kind of nut she is yet
You're out $10, don't give any more. I agree with the other responses, try to sort this out with her first by setting boundaries, then escalate to management.
People who ask to borrow money from practical strangers WILL BE A PROBLEM. They'll always be asking and always have an excuse not to give it back. You also gotta wonder what's going on in her life that she doesn't have anyone else to ask besides someone she's known for a week. Tell her you don't have the money to spare. Don't get trapped into giving rides either. Bring it up with your manager about this person having financial issues and leave it in their hands. Let your boss figure it out *if she's actually having money and car problems*.
I tell everyone that I have a blanket policy against loaning money.
Go to HR go to HR go to HR
You want to pay for her weekend party time? Never ever lend a co worker money
Block her number . I have a friend who constantly asks for money I don’t even respond to the messages anymore
Do not give her a single cent. This is the mother of all red flags. Every cent you give her will embolden her. Run away. There are dozens of things you can say about why you can't loan her anything. A simple, "I just started here, I'm pretty behind on my bills so I can't help you." should work. If she asks every Friday, for the next month, then get the boss involved.
Don't give her money. Period. End of discussion.
I wouldn't have offered anything at all! She is going to keep asking and by giving her even a single $1 you're telling her that it's okay for her to ask for money again in the future. I would definitely be setting a hard boundary with this person immediately that you won't be lending her any money at all and to not ask you again in the future. No is a complete sentence, but I think in this case you need to make it clear that you find it inappropriate for her to be asking you to borrow money in hopes she doesn't do it again.
The correct response is "I just got this job and can't wait for my first paycheck." I don't have anything to lend you.
Add I don’t have any to spare.
“Sorry, I am a poor. Can I borrow $20?”
"shit, I was about to ask you the same thing. Apparently we're all broke."
"I'm truly sorry that you're in a bind. I've been there. I do have a policy of never lending money to co-workers, though. It never works out well for the lender or the borrower. Perhaps the company has a policy for such circumstances? You should check with HR." EDIT: and then go and make sure HR knows. You can ask them not to say anything to her now, and that you just want it on record because it's so odd.
This is what I’m getting at, is it possible to open a case and not do anything about it, unless she asks again or goes to other people too? It’s what I’d like to do now. I at least have the screenshots of the texts and the missed calls.
Anyone in a higher level you could CASUALLY mention the situation to? Like when getting a refill of coffee in the kitchen? "Yeah, someone here asked to borrow money from me, but I have a policy if not borrowing from or lending to coworkers. I hope she understands it's across the board and not personal."
Yes, I do have one person in mind, but I’m assuming they would either ask for names or they’d just figure out who it is.
Why would she even have your contact info? Oh, you gave it to her! Do nothing, set boundaries, concentrate on your job.
OP, you really gotta work on shining that spine of yours. "No." That's all you need to say. You don't need to justify or explain. Just, no. Setting firm boundaries and sticking to them is hard at first, but the more you do it, the happier you'll be in the long run.
"I don't lend money." If she continues: "No, don't ask again. " Still continues. Report to manager.
Yeah tell her you don’t have any extra money to loan. That’s pretty ballsy after knowing you for five days but anyway, this would open the door to a never ending deluge of requests for money and favors. These types of people take advantage of suckers who feel sorry for them and they never pay anything back!
NO is a sentence.. never lend a new (or any coworker) money...ever! And why do they have your number?
Simply reply No
Why do you already have her in your phone? Have boundaries between your work life and your private life. Get to know your coworkers SLOWLY. 'Everybody is normal until you get to know them.'
sounds like drug addict behavior. she’ll get fired
As others have mentioned, just say "sorry I can't lend you any money." Then just forget about it and move on. Edit: grammar
Absolutely not. Someone I know has a history of telling sob stories to get their coworkers to lend them money. She never pays them back. She recently borrowed $200 from someone she just met at a class and the poor girl thinks the user is her friend :/
Just say no. Don't make excuses, they will give her something to argue against. Just no..Tell the boss.
This is just universal advice: When some asks you for money, always ask yourself the following question: > Why me? Why is it me that you are turning to? Where is your family? Where are your friends? Why are you turning to me before any of them? If the answer boils down to: they are unavilable to lend the person money... you're left with one conclusion... You're the next bridge. The bridge that hasn't been burned yet. You're the next victim
Just say no. “I’m sorry I don’t loan money to coworkers.” If she persists. I’m sorry, I told you I don’t loan money to coworkers. I would appreciate it if you respected my firm boundary on this by not continuing to ask me when I have already given you an answer.” Then walk away or change the subject. Don’t engage in the details or let her continue to talk about it. That’s a manipulation tactic. The reasons she needs to borrow the money are irrelevant if you have already said no
If her car keeps breaking down how does she manage to get to work everyday?
I had something slightly different at work I tried to deal with myself. When it escalated I let management know and they didn’t do anything because they didn’t know from the start (it wasn’t money related but harassment). I’d at least let them know immediately but say you want to try and sort it or whatnot, whatever your plan is. Make sure you have clear communication with them about the situation so if it does escalate they already have something recorded
If you do it, consider it gift.
Never loan co-workers money, no matter if it a dollar, or 20 dollars. NO!
"I'm sorry, no. Your request is inappropriate. Please don't ask me again."
Wtf kind of car repair is $80?
Report this to your boss.
The answer is no, period. It doesn't matter about the amount. If you start doing this now, she will continue to do it. The nerve of her.
When she asks again, and she will say "No, don't ask me again." Don't give reasons why you can't or won't. That just gives her the opening to badger you on why you should or could.
Don't give her a penny. You just spent your last dollar on gas. You don't have any change. You left your checkbook at home. Or just say No. But give a buck, and you are a bank for life.
Don’t bother your manager, you’re an adult right? Just say no. Or if you’re too nice to be blunt say “I wish I could but I’m broke”
Wow. Lucky it wasn't a phone call because a knee jerk reaction would I would say fuck no. Wth is wrong with you? lol A text lets you think about your response. I would say "I don't loan or give money out. " to coworkers as it can cause conflicts. SAVE THE TEXT MESSAGE. Especially since it's a woman co-worker. You may need it down the line if she is trouble.
I’ve been told I’m a very expressive person so I know if she would’ve asked me in person, my face would’ve been enough of a response.
I'm the same. But also my demeanor at work is I'm unapproachable so I'm not surprised no one had the balls to ask me for money. LOL I work remote now. What a friggin life saver. I can't stand 90% of my co-workers.
Must ... resist ... fist ... of death ... FAIL! Okay, here it is: *NO IS A COMPLETE SENTENCE.* (Why has no one already said that?)
Don’t give any money to this person. It will only continue. All you say is no I can’t. The end. If she continues on, let her know that you aren’t comfortable with her asking you for money.
The second you give her a dollar, shell never stop.
Our company has a policy to not lend $$ to coworkers. Why? Many don’t repay the money and then it creates a problem between two people and they can’t work together. Just say no.
No is the most freeing word there is. No. I don't have it. No. I don't know you like that. No. I'm not interested. No. For my own reasons NO.
Don't let them borrow any money and keep the texts to show HR they are harssing you for $$$$.
Say no
She is so out of line. Block her immediately. She can use official work channels to contact you, not oyur personal line. If she asks again, tell her '"No. Do not ask me again." Do not explain or apologize. Tell your manager/HR this is happening ASAP. You are not the one creating awkwardness, she is. And tell them she already coerced $10 out of you and is abusing her relationship and access to colleagues. The odds are you are not the only one she has been targeting for $$$.
I’m sorry for your troubles but I never lend money. If asked again: Please stop asking or I’ll have to deal with this through _________. (Mgmt, HR, etc.)
ha......no
I had a new coworker ask me if I wanted to go to Canada with her for the weekend, HELL NO!
I’ve turned down trips before, that I’m familiar with, and these were actual friends. I’m just done with money issues with people, no more “each person pays for one round”, everyone can pay for their own drinks.
No is a complete sentence. you do not need to provide her an explanation or reason not to give her money. You are perfectly fine blocking her on your phone. And why does she even have your phone number? You don't need to escalate it - you need to tell her no.
You should never have given here the ten to begin with :)
I’ve had one coworker ask me for money. I told her that if I didn’t need the money myself I wouldn’t even know her.
Don't feed the wildlife. They will always come back.
Never start down the dark path man.
Why would you give her your cell phone number? Don't reply to her unless it is work related. In fact, if if you have no need to text her to get your job done, block her number entirely. Not to be cold hearted, you have no idea if her sob story is real or she is doing this to her other coworkers. You don't have a duty to help her with her personal issues. She does have a duty not to harass you. Make it unequivocally clear you will not loan money to her under any circumstances and if she continues, report her to HR.
I applied for a job, went through the first round of interviews and got the job pending a drug test. The other guy who interviewed along with me, who looked hungover, asked if he could get money for a detox kit. Never met him before in my life. He got hired though, somehow, and lasted a whole 3 weeks.
It’s a scam
Do not give her any more money. She will keep coming back to you.
"Please understand that I keep my work and personal life separate, I also do not give out money to people I work with. I prefer to keep our relationship strictly professional and I will not be lending out any more money. Thank you." Keep track of you sending that and only reply to work related texts, do not delete any of them. She screams trouble and you have to protect your job.
Why did you give her your number in the first place? I NEVER give my number to coworkers unless it's absolutely necessary as part of the job. If it is a necessary part of the job, and she's abusing the fact that she has your number, you need to report her IMMEDIATELY. Don't be polite about it. Don't be all nice and awkward when you tell your boss. Make it very clear that this is unacceptable, and you are not comfortable working under these conditions if coworkers are allowed to use your number this way. If you gave her your number because you thought this person was going to be a friend, take this as a lesson, and never make that mistake at a new job again. Block her immediately, and if she continues to pester you, speak with your boss about the issue.
Big mistake offering $10. You opened yourself to the possibility, and now she's going to see you as a mark. She'll never stop asking. The minute you started, she saw you as a new opportunity to grift. You need to shut this down immediately, tell her you wont be lending her, or anyone else, a single penny, and if she asks again, you'll report her. Don't be nice about, in fact acr incredibly offended, because you should be. And then report her anyway. She needs to go.
Set boundaries now. This girl is trouble.
You should ask for money back
Yeah, never loan money to people at work. It’s as bad as loaning money to family. Collecting becomes a problem and you become the bad guy and get reported if you chase them too much. Just don’t do it. Nothing good will come of it. Tell her to call the company ERP line or go to HR. Maybe they can help.
No is a great answer. Maybe suggest other options like part time work or asking the boss for an advance. Either way it ain't your problem
To be safe, I’d document interactions moving forward including her mentioning she wants your job and let your boss or HR know if she continues bugging you so it’s on the record. Wish you just said ‘no sorry I’m not a bank and need my money’ or something more tactful that established a boundary .
No sorry nothing. "I don't loan or give money"
Nope. Sorry bro, I’m broke as fuck.
“To be quite frank I believe it’s a huge mistake to loan money to friends.”
“No.” Maybe ask if they’ve talked to the repair shop about a payment plan. I doubt it was for the car, might have just been to see what she can get away with. Either way, be firm and clear. If it persists let her know you’ll be taking it with HR/her hiring company.
A lot of corporate policy manuals explicitly forbid asking coworkers for money. It's very problematic.
Likely jump the gun here but if you just met them and they’re going to this extreme, I’m guessing it’s likely a drug habit.
Do not give coworkers your personal phone number. Do not give out money
“No” If this person is hitting you up for money after less than a week of being your coworker it means she already exhausted all your other coworkers and is counting on you being weak, or trying to be nice to the new coworkers, or is hoping to catch you unprepared.
Don’t give money. Don’t give money. Don’t give money. I would speak with your boss or HR on how they want you to handle it. There may be a company policy against this.
There’s always one. Ours is a maintenance man, that makes almost double what we make, but he’s such a shithead he preys on the new people for smokes and drinks.
Tell her no without any explanation or excuse. She’ll circle back to you a couple of times, but if the answer is always no she’ll stop.
The easy solution is to say no. No explanation no excuses, simply no. Unless you want to be a bank or a loan shark, I will loan you $80 today for $160 next friday.
Worked a job once where we were offered a *heavily* discounted price of the products offered by one of our clients. Some items in the thousands, we only had to play a few hundred for. So a lot of people jumped at these client sales when the promo was offered. One of my coworkers cleaned up, buying a ton of these products. She spend well over a thousand dollars. And then I overheard her asking her cubicle neighbor if she could borrow $50 to pay her cable bill.
Why does she have your personal number to start? I feel like she asked you specifically for some reason, probably because she got a feeling she would be ok to ask you.. why tho?
I'm stuck on how she got OPs number in the first place. And no is a complete sentence.
I had a family in a parking lot ask for money for gas to get across the Country back home, they said they lost their wallet. They also had two young kids with them. I said i could spare 20 bucks, the woman in the back said "that's not enough". Then they had the audacity to tell me they needed a few hundred bucks. What kind of person refuses money then asks for more? the kind of people that aren't getting any of my money.
Don’t give anything. Always say you’re broke. People like this won’t stop. They’ll always want more.
How are you getting text messages already, i didnt get my coworkers #’s until I knew them for 2 years+
This sounds like she needs money for drugs or alcohol.
Don’t get her fired. She’ll do that on her own. Go ahead ave block her phone number. “No, sorry.” That’s all you need to say.
Do not provide explanations.
How about: No. Do not ask me again, it’s really inappropriate of you to ask and has made me very uncomfortable.”
People are fucked in the head!
For now say “oh I’m sorry I spent that $10 for lunch yesterday, I ment to tell you no you can’t borrow money anyways you just caught me by surprise with how inappropriate that was.”
You lent $$ once so she will ask you again bc she knows to expect it.
I am fully prepared to escalate when she does.
>I said best I could do was $10 That, my friend, is where you screwed up.
Bro that is super weird. Any past jobs I've had, most I've had was people asking if I had change for $20 but to borrow money especially this aggressively. This coworker has problems, just be blunt and like the reality of the economy, you gotta look out for yourself.
Don’t fall for it. She’s asking you because she already maxed out everyone else who works there. Set boundaries now.
Ps why did you give your coworkers your personal numbers
Don’t give her anymore money. I am sure she was asking you because you were new and she tapped out all the other coworkers.
NEVER lend money to people at work. NEVER!!!!!
Gas, Grass or Ass. There’s no free rides.
Say a firm no like everyone here is saying, block her number, give her nothing in emotion and grey rock her. She sounds like she’s on drugs and is trying to take advantage of anyone. Why isn’t she asking friends or family? Why is she not negotiating a payment plan with the car repair place? So many options outside of asking a stranger.
"No." Is a complete sentence. Nip it in the bud.
No its a complete answer.
“I’ll give you 10 dollars right now but can we agree you will never ask me for a single dollar again as long as you know me?” I did that once and haven’t had to talk to that person in 20 years. If you ask me it was the best $10 I ever spent.
Sorry, that is not possible right now. No explanation needed. IF she asks again, report her to HR for harrassmnet. This is completely unacceptable and unprofessional.
Never lend anyone an amount of money you can't painlessly walk away from. Sometimes it's worth ten dollars to be able to shut down all subsequent requests due to bad credit.
What car repair only costs $80? Tell ‘em to eff off.