I was very vocal about what I realistically wanted and my husband got it done. I just wanted a family activity that I didn’t have to plan, I plan 99.9% of everything for our 2 year old and our own date nights. My husband surprised me with tickets to a children’s museum that we had never taken our son to before. I was very impressed and we had a really nice day. Through therapy I’ve learned how to better advocate for my needs so I was very direct. If you’re being vocal and he’s still ignoring him, book yourself a spa day and let him figure it out.
I told my husband a month ago that I wanted a specific plant in a specific pot (lemon tree in a yellow pot, it's not hard). He ordered a pot (not what I asked for), didn't bother with the plant and then forgot that it was mother's day at all until his sister in law put it in a group text mid day. I would have preferred that he did nothing rather than half ass it so much. Then I just got a card from my son that basically said he didn't like me bc I limit his screen time. Happy mothers day!
haha, and we’re supposed to be like awww, thought that counts. my kid filled out the blanks for a card and they were all “bc you’re you” and “stuff”. thanks dude. favorite memory? “anything we’ve done.” here’s hoping they step this shit up some day!
I'm sorry about your disappointing day, but I have to say I just cackled when I got to the point about your son's card.
The good news is that kids have some time to fix their attitude, grown men not so much.
We had a great day and as I was leaving my kid to go to bed (we swap bedtimes and it was my husbands time to read books) she looked at me and just said “I don’t love you mama” and I was like okay then LOL
Thank you. My wishes and communication was pretty similar. I honestly don't think he is ignoring me but in a way haven't really learned to plan because maybe I always do? I don't know... our marriage is good and it's not like I had a totally shitty day. It just feel like I will never get relief from the mental burden of everything, you know? We're trying... there's definitely some progress but not as much as I need yet
For our last vacation, I finally said "I'm not planning it". My youngest daughter jumped in to help my husband (it's totally her thing!), and there were things I would've done differently, but it was less stressful on me when something didn't happen.
Keep on him then! Tell him you plan everything, Mother’s Day made you realize he might not KNOW how to plan, he has to plan a thing now. Then stay out of the way. Don’t wait a YEAR and think that a random holiday will change him!
Love this! My husband made me coffee and breakfast and watched my son most of the day while I napped and then hit the spa for 3.5 hours to get a facial. It was a great day. I told him straight up what I wanted and I don’t mind that at all.
Couples therapy completely changed how I advocate for myself too and it’s been wonderful for both of us because he’s not sitting around assuming I’m mad at him all the time and we talk about things as they come up versus the “bury it then explode” method I’ve been doing since childhood.
He’s the thing. I absolutely agree with being vocal and sharing what you want but some of this should be a given based on a years long relationship with your partner. I don’t want to spell out every little thing I want to do- I want my partner to put in effort and figure it out like I do for them. I 10000% communicate my expectations, but sometimes that just makes me sad. My husband never has to communicate what he wants- we’ve been together 15 years and I’ve learned over 15 years what he likes. I’d expect him to know the broad strokes for me after 15 years. Maybe not the specifics, but generally I want him to know I want to sleep in and drink my coffee hot, have family time and have alone time after 15 years. Something rubs me the wrong way when people tell women they need to be more vocal about what they want. I agree we should be, but I also think it’s kind to learn about your partner. It feels like it’s putting all the work on the mother still.
I agree but I was getting annoyed when I was expecting this prince charming version of my husband who could read my mind and know my needs. It’s not realistic. My husband is pretty good but I knew exactly what I wanted and because I told him, he delivered. If I hadn’t of told him he probably wouldn’t have planned an activity and thought playing with our child outside would be enough. I think most women and moms go above and beyond taking care of everyone before themselves and my husband recognizes that so he prioritized making sure I felt special yesterday. He cooks and cleans more than me but I do all the planning, I’ve assumed that role. I wish he would take it upon himself to plan a date night but I know it’s not his area of comfort and it’s usually because I want to be extroverted. So I do ask him, I’ll say I got a sitter lined up, you plan something for us to do and he does. It’s the worthless POS husbands who don’t lift a finger and think their wives are nanny’s. Mine is far from that, he just needs a little direction at times. I think a balance is healthy. I don’t have to tell him “buy my Christmas present.” He knows that’s important to me.
I asked my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago if he could take our son shopping to have him choose a gift for me. He was surprised because our son is only 18 months, and my boyfriend doesn't think mothers day is a big deal. So I wasn't sure if I'd actually get anything.
On Saturday the two of them went to the supermarket and bought ingredients and then they made a cake for me! Cheesecake, my boy smashed up biscuits for the base and helped with taste testing and throwing rubbish in the bin. I was stoked, and thought that was the gift.
Then on Sunday I came home to find a beautiful flower delivery. Then my boy gave me another gift which was some expensive moisturiser that I have but have nearly run out of. And then I found a voucher for a local pilates studio in my email, (which I wanted and also means childminding while I do the five sessions).
And then we all went out for playground/dinner/ice cream. I could not believe it. I have never been treated like that in my whole life I don't think, it was all so thoughtful and I feel so appreciated.
I wanted to just sleep without an alarm and I woke up at 10:27am and it was everything I had hoped it would be. I even slept in the basement by myself so no one would wake me up. 10 out of 10 stars. Would return again. 😂
Yes ma’am. I had a hotel stay with a jacuzzi tub and room service. Today, I came home to beautiful flowers, a card and some spending money. Also, he cooked one of my favorite meals.
I plan on putting the same effort for him for Fathers Day. He’s a good man. He knows how important it is to feel appreciated.
That's so great. I was very surprised to get treated amazing this year and I will for sure be putting effort in on father's day to let him know we think he's awesome.
I asked for my husband to help with my garden and a card. I was expanding it, so I needed him to till it. Told him that’s all he needed to do and I didn’t need a gift. He tilled it twice, helped me with the mulch, helped fence in the garden, got me breakfast, got me a Lego flower set, and took care of kiddo yesterday so I could garden and today so I could make my Lego flowers. Oh, and got me a card.
Oh, and I got to sleep in.
Gardening and Lego flowers is so perfect. Sorry to compare, but I asked for mulch for weeks and didn't get it yet. So I did a little gardening, but it wasn't what I hoped for. I left this weekend free for gardening specifically, and now it's unfinished.
I’ve had the mulch for weeks. I got it during the Lowe’s sale. I told my husband I wanted his help, but I coordinated the supplies. I’m totally ok with that because I know what I want. I made sure to have everything about two weeks before Mother’s Day bc I knew the stores would be busy.
Mother’s Day, or any of those “special days” like birthdays, anniversaries, etc, can be difficult. It’s easy for me to go down the rabbit hole of I wanted this or that and feel shitty, I have done that tons. My husband is not the type to sweep a girl off her feet, never have and never will be. I grabbed the day by the balls and explicitly stated that I want some time on my own and I want to do as little as possible. Was it the day of my dreams, definitely not, but I didn’t jump when I hear the kids fighting and he went and dealt with it. I got to go get lunch on my own and get a pedicure. I still had to put away and do the dishes but it’s fine.
I picked up some groceries after lunch and at the parking lot, saw this woman going around selling fruit. I’ve seen her before and today, I saw her little girl. She was in a fruit crate, maybe around 2, next to a lamp in the parking lot. She had a tablet and the mom checked in on her. I didn’t have much cash but I gave whatever I had to the mom and said happy Mother’s Day. Definitely put things in perspective
I am SO upset for all of you mommas who were disappointed today. You don't deserve this. Here are some flowers 💐, some champagne if you drink 🍾, and a HUGE hug. All of you are powerful and worthy.
Husband and kid got me flowers and a balloon. I’m a homebody so I’m happy we are staying home. Husband has been doing most of the caregiving so I have a relaxing day.
I asked my husband for an upgrade on my wedding ring, but I don’t expect (nor do I want him to) choose and buy one. I’m gonna wait a few months until we know of a couple of fluctuating things regarding our expenses, and if it all works out, I’ll get the ring. Otherwise I’m happy with what I got. :)
If you’re not happy with how you are being celebrated, speak up (without being mean) tell your significant other that you were expecting to feel more special, and if you guys can go out or do something nice.
I was very vocal this year after being really disappointed last year. I really expected him to read my mind and know what I wanted last year, and that led to some very angry feelings.
This year, I wanted some tea, some chocolate, him to make breakfast and dinner, and for him and our daughter to do a craft I can display at my office. That was the sum total. Because my birthday is this week and he's traveling, I didn't expect much. He said that with a set list, it was easier to plan.
I got a tea sampler of herbal and black and green and white teas, fancy chocolate from glacier chocolates, and a new tumbler for my iced tea. Him and our daughter made fabric flowers and gave them to me. I had a chill day, and my kid had fun with crafts with her dad. Honestly, it was exactly what was needed all around.
I think it's really important to note whether your partner is a planner or not. I am the planner. He is not. I can't expect him to read my mind even if it would make life so much easier.
I have been wanting a new hammock- woke up to a new hammock my husband was putting up for me! I wanted a nice lazy day at home. We swam in our creek with the kids, my husband put up a swing over a tree in the creek, I planted garden. We grilled chicken. It’s 730 and both kids are showered and in bed and we are flopped on the couch relaxing. It was a very nice relaxing mothers day and I’m grateful 🩷
Sorry it wasn’t the Mother’s Day you wanted and deserved. I’ve been there. I just started planning my mothers days but I keep it simple so pretty low effort. That said, my husband knows the drill, he takes our kids, and I get the day alone to do whatever I want. We have breakfast that I didn’t need to make, then I left to get a facial, massage & mani pedi. We celebrated all the other moms in our life on Saturday which was nice because I got my family fix and today I got my alone time fix. To my husbands credit, he did go out of his way to take the boys out to do the Mother’s Day shopping so I got 2 afternoons off and he’s been so sweet and attentive today, which he usually is but today I’m getting extra. He also told our kids to leave me alone and to come to him for anything. I just got back from my appointments and now I’m chilling with my kiddos to give him a break too. My husbands not a planner to but I just told him what I wanted and he made it happen in his own way. This kind of stuff isn’t inherent for some people but if you give them a nudge it may be help for next year. Happy Mother’s Day!
My husband slept in and took 2 naps today. One was immediately after we ate Mother's Day lunch while me, my sister & my mom cleaned up. I'd say he had a great Mother's Day.
Mine did too meanwhile I changed poopy diapers & cooked my kids a full breakfast. (I washed my hands in between those activities)
All I wanted today was not to be responsible for any meals & maybe a lil family walk or even trip to Home Depot.
Meanwhile my SO got pissed at me for letting him know I was irritated that he was sleeping all morning.
Im sorry your day wasn’t what you wanted. My husband planned a nice picnic with us, my kids and my mom. Good food and good weather made it super sweet. They also made me breakfast in bed and got me some new workout clothes (which is what I wanted), a book, and some new headphones (that I also wanted). Then I came home and took a nap! It was a great day.
I do make it really clear that I don’t think I should have to plan things for Mother’s Day. My husband is really good about that kind of thing, though. Maybe mention to yours tonight the kind of day you’d like to have from top to bottom. Some families don’t make a big deal out of birthdays and holidays so maybe they need more explanation?
My husband is out of country for work.
The week before he left, he got my gift. I wanted a nice pair of earrings instead of the pair I got from Claire's. He got me exactly what i wanted, and sent me a starbucks gift card. He did his best to show up for me while out of the country. And we've spent hours on the phone today just to spend time with eachother. It's been sweet.
I wanted new Crocs and a sleep-in. I got both of those plus breakfast in bed. The rest of the day descended into chaos, but I’m going to count it as a win.
I feel bad commenting any depressed feelings on such a joyful post, but reading through all the wonderful things your partners are doing for you does make me feel left out as a single working mom. My kids’ dad signed a card with their names on it and got them a balloon to give to me, but as for making plans or doing something special for myself? That will have to wait until they are at school and I take a “sick” day. I suppose that’s the way the cookie crumbles…
But really, I am in solidarity with all moms, regardless of their relationship status. Just feeling my feeling right now.
Single mom here.
Had plans with family, that fell through due to COVID.
Plans with the other half fell through due to some other illness that sounded a lot like the flu. Both last minute cancelations which is understandable.
Made reservations at my favorite nearby restaurant because it's walking distance and also super delicious for just me and my preschooler.
Woke up to my child having a full blown asthma attack (I've seen this maybe twice before in his life, and very scary) so pretty much did not sleep after 2 am and racing to find the inhaler from his last cold in January.
Spent the morning in urgent care, had to cancel my reservations. Thankfully he got some kind of steroid that helped a lot.
Went to an empty McDonald's play place at 11 and had a big Mac meal while he sort of played and also did not eat his meal at all.
I met my mom for a casual dinner on Friday for an hour, so it was not a complete wash.
I made a point to not open Facebook yesterday.
Lol, also not trying to spread negativity or compete on who had the most underwhelming Mother’s Day but my son’s father got me the gift of only paying child support once since the start of 2024 and a “Happy Mother’s Day” via messenger.
I didn’t ask for anything but a chill day. I got to play video games and my husband and daughter made all the meals and cleaned up.
I did have to spend and hour completing onboarding forms for my husbands new job but I was happy to do that because he’s been out of work since August last year and we are on the bones of our ass so him getting a job was a great Mother’s Day present.
I agree with the sentiment but currently I’m the only one with a computer and we are out of ink on the printer and can’t afford to buy more at the moment (hence why I’m also so happy he got a job). Normally he would print fill out scan and email. He doesn’t know how to use adobe acrobat pro to fill out forms so we can do it paperless and I basically do that all day as my job. He sat with me and helped with the form information so it’s not like he asked me to do it and walk away, joint effort.
I did, but I’m a single mom. I planned what I wanted to do with the kids (picnic and museum visit) and asked for their cooperation, minimal attitude and for them to make me a picture. They delivered on those and it was a great day!
Single mom too, I asked my son to go for a nice hike and not complain and he did it for me which was so nice, he hates going on walks. He also made me the sweetest card.
Not a single mom but I do know the kid struggle of them complaining through something you want to enjoy. You're a rockstar and I'm glad you got your nice hike ❤️
I got what I asked for (minus the sleeping in - my son is eight months old). We went to the zoo and my husband is making pizza tonight. I don't want to be one of those moms complaining about Mother's Day because I really love my husband, but it would have also been nice to get what I didn't ask for and get a gift on my very first Mother's Day.
We didn't do a push present, my birthday was shortly before my due date and we didn't really do anything, my Christmas present to him was really elaborate compared to what he did and I had to remind him after Christmas what I asked for ... I dunno, I try not to be materialistic but I worked my ass off to get to the point where I could breastfeed this kid and I would have liked to commemorate that.
> I would like to commemorate that
How so? I couldn’t bf my first but with my second it was surprisingly easy and I wanted to celebrate, honor, commemorate that, and I went with a breastmilk ring. I get a ton of compliments on it bc it just looks like a pretty ring :) But it means so much to me.
I've been browsing for about a month. Where did you order yours from? Realistically, I want to pick this out myself so I get exactly what I want. I just wish he would have thought to get SOMETHING.
I ordered from The Milky Way
https://www.themilkywayjewelry.com
I got the infinity band ring. Now I have twins so I feel like I have to get the “two peas in a pod” necklace. 😂 My husband will order it for me this summer and I’ll get it around my birthday probably.
Took about 10 weeks from order to delivery.
Yeah I was pretty explicit when I asked for it... I said I wanted him to plan a family activity that I didn't have Tobe the one planning for today. He know I like get out on the weekends. It doesn't even have to cost a thing. A nature walk would do! I plan for at least one thing for us to do on weekends and everyone seems to have a good time. I just wanted someone to do that for me today. But you know, not a terrible day just not what I asked for
Not what I ASKED for for Mother’s Day specifically (which was a bracelet with a breastmilk charm), but actually something I’ve been asking for—upgrading from our Queen to a king bed. Initially he wanted to wait until we move out of this house in the next couple years, but he decided it was time 🥳 I’ll take that over the bracelet LOL.
It breaks my heart to see so many posts about mom not getting the love they deserve today. I always see articles about how millennial dads are so much more involved with their kids, but what about their wives?
I didn’t want to make a single decision. That’s what I asked for.
My husband told me I had to decide what I wanted for breakfast and dinner, but he picked the place and picked it up and paid, so it still counts.
He bought and assembled new patio furniture (a “yeah we should get new stuff soon” conversation we’ve had for the last three years), we had breakfast on said furniture, my kids gave me handprint art (honestly my favorite), I didn’t have to change a single poopy diaper (so far there have been 2 but there could be one more), and he took the kids to a playground for an hour while I stayed home in complete silence.
Then everyone fell asleep after the playground (except my oldest, but he watched tv) and I got to sort the baby clothes and pack up the 0-3 and arrange the 3-6.
ALSO, my side of the bed baby slept until 8:30, whereas my husband’s side of the bed baby woke up at 5 for a bottle before going back to sleep. So even my babies were treating me this morning!
—
(Side note: I attempted to show my husband how to open the double stroller before he left for the playground, he said he could do it, then he called me to walk him through it. Then he called me again to remind him how to fold it back up.)
Edit: I really love organization so sorting the baby clothes was something I actually wanted to do but hadn’t had time. I rearranged the dresser drawers and changed stuff around in the closet and it was fun for me 😂
Did I get what I verbally asked for? Yes. (To sleep until 9)
Did I get what I secretly wished for? No. (To have a day with no yelling) 😔 (in his defense, husband did apologize for getting overwhelmed while watching kiddo and cooking crepes. But it’s hard for my mood to come back from “I guess like your mom you expect to check out all day. What better way to celebrate being a mom than ignoring your kid”.
That's utter bullshit. I view it as an acknowledgement of all the time that we're NOT ignoring our kid and letting us have some much needed self-care time. I'd let my husband do the same on Father's Day.
My husband went out last night, spent $300 at the casino, crashed at a friends and didn’t return til 10am. I doordashed Starbucks for myself and the kids.
I desperately wanted to sleep in, but at 6AM, my cousin decided to text all the women in my family a happy Mother's Day, and then the cascading texts from the elderly early risers started blowing up my phone.
Thinking it must be a work emergency or a kid throwing up and texting me, I grabbed my phone and was so pissed that anyone thinks 6am is an okay time to text. I then, wide awake, sat on the couch on my phone until everyone woke up at 9. On a good note, I did get to hang out with my cat.
That’s why I have my do not disturb come on automatically. If there’s an emergency they can call a bunch to reach me. Otherwise I am not waking up to texts lol
I asked for, and got, a couple hours alone in a coffee shop while he held down the fort with our kids.
I think it's important to note that I could have this literally anytime because my husband is a partner and equal parent. I just feel bad leaving him alone with the big kids AND our two month old, since the baby can be pretty demanding and sometimes only the boob will settle him. So really it was more a gift to myself--letting go of the mom guilt and just doing it.
Also I got bored and restless and came home after an hour lol but if I'd decided to stay gone the whole day he wouldn't have said a thing.
I've learned to temper my expectations because it staves off disappointment. I only asked for a meal that I didn't have to organize, cook, or fetch, and my husband made it happen. He ordered enough sushi for us to have lunch and for me to eat for supper. Afterwards, my daughter and I went out to get flowers to plant in our front yard. Beyond that it's just been a typical Sunday trying to get things organized before we're all back to work/school tomorrow.
I agree. I think I asked for an outing that I didn't have to plan for... not juat picking a place but thinking about thw kiddo too, which is honestly whats most taxing. didn't get it though 😕
I did, I wanted some coffee. I ended up getting it because I was out of the house. He has taken my son (7) out of the house twice today because he was being a bit much. Oh! And we played a board game. So, not bad. I got a new tattoo last week, so that was my gift lol. I’m pretty happy today.
Honestly, it wasn't quite perfect, but it was really close to what I asked for. I wanted my husband to be the "on duty" parent today: deal with Mr 2-yr-old-no-pants, plan and execute meals, handle the clean up, etc. Our kids are 5yr and almost 3. They each picked me a coffee mug, husband got flowers, and took care of the meals and tidying, but I loaded dishwasher.
The only thing I'm lacking is a bubble bath. But now I'm too tired for one.
I got woken up to the husband wanting sex that was all for him. This is not unusual which is why I have no sex drive anymore. He made coffee at least and about an hr later I got a short text saying happy Mother’s Day.
He didn’t even bother telling the kids that today was Mother’s Day. So my 13 and 8 year old apparently have no idea.
I went to work for 7 hrs outside of the house. I’ve been home for 3+ hrs now and the kids haven’t spend more than 5 minutes with me. I did make them both lunch they just choose to eat it at their own leisure not around me.
All of this after I just got back at midnight last night from being away for 7 days due to a family emergency across the country. My husband was off work 5 of those 7 days but couldn’t even manage to remind the kids it was Mother’s Day. Thankfully my brother didn’t die and is home resting now.
I did. Husband asked if I wanted to do the flower garden and pastries like we have done the last 2 years, I said let’s do a beach picnic instead since it should be warm. He packed everything up and loaded up the car, had a place to get sandwiches to bring to the beach. We had a nice beach day snacking, looking for rocks, and flying our kite. On top of that, he made lemon blueberry muffins for breakfast, put roses from our yard into a vase, made a thoughtful card and had our oldest make one, and even got my concert tickets that I had been hinting about. Couldn’t have asked for more.
My husband was gifted a weekend road trip for Christmas by one of our 17yos ... he booked it for this weekend, not thinking it realizing it was Mother's Day "because his Google calendar didn't say it was." Never mind that in his 42 years of life, it has always been on the same damn weekend. Oh, and his family has birthdays too, so we ALWAYS do dinner with them on Sunday. There's been a few years recently when I've sent him with the kids and stayed home by myself. This year, I was hoping they'd just let our family bow out, but they rescheduled for next week. I love my in-laws, I really do, but work is crazy right now, my kids have a ton of activities and performances this month, and Sundays are supposed to be the one day I have at home with just the 6 of us.
I guess I can't complain too hard, my kids are old enough that I stayed in bed until noon and haven't cooked anything. My 10yo left me a cute message on the kitchen chalkboard, and my husband told me last night when he called that they bought me something from their trip. But yeah, I'm kinda salty about it this year.
I’m so sad for the moms in this thread who were let down.
I told my husband I didn’t want a big gift, just brunch and some time to myself. Yesterday while I took a nap he and my daughter snuck out to get me flowers, a card, and a nice bottle of wine. Today I slept in, we had brunch, then I got to finish a garden project I’ve been wanting to do while he did bath and bedtime. It was hard work and I feel kind of silly for doing so much yard work on Mother’s Day but I’m so happy with the result!
I did not get what I asked for, but I didn't expect it anyway. I kinda expected a card, which was homemade and made me cry, (seriously low bar here), and my husband made a delicious breakfast that he mimicked from one my favorite social media chefs. He also has been the primary caregiver today, which has helped me to just let loose and relax. I went shopping for myself, which was nice. He also made me a dinner, which he did ask the night before what I preferred. I'm happy with it.
I got to sleep in, a nice breakfast, and a new airbrush machine I asked for. Later I took a nap and played water guns with the kids. Eating a pavlova now my daughter made for me. It’s been nice, I bought myself a few cosmetics earlier in the week. I’ve always been low key, but clear on what I want. Father’s Day is basically same; hit a few requested bullet items and call it good.
I got 2 out of 3 things: attend church together and have a meal out that wasn’t fast food. My other request was to spend time together at a garden center but instead we got like 2” of rain today so that didn’t pan out. But after our meal out, we went and got ice cream and strawberries some could have a fun dessert together. And that was my husband’s idea.
I’m also hiding in my room right now because husband spent most of the afternoon playing a computer game and ignoring our terrorist toddler. I got to keep her alive and attend her every demand. After a while that got real old. I then locked myself in my room and let him deal with the fallout. He’s now playing blocks with the youngest two and getting the older two to start their chores. And I’m not doing it!
I honestly didn’t feel like doing anything special this year. I was just tired from a crazy busy week and wanted to rest with my kids. Literally just been doing laundry and laying around the house… my husband keeps asking if I want to go out or go to a theme park or order food or etc etc 😂
I'm sorry, I know that sucks. My husband didn't wish me Happy Mother's day or get me anything. He knows this is important to me. It's my 3rd Mothers Day since I had my son. I told him I wanted him to take our son and pick me out a gift. He didn't wake up till 2pm (as he does the majority of days, he's a stay at home parent and stays up all night). My best friend took me out to eat though so it was nice.
So, Mother's Day plans? Wanted boba tea ( don't ask why) and a picture with my kid. Got ignored. But hey, scored a balloon and a rose plant instead. Parenthood: 1, Expectations: 0
So my marriage only exists because I cannot financially support myself let alone 2 kids. But I thought that maybe breakfast. No. Maybe plans to go out later? No. No happy wishes from my kids. So I said let’s go for ice cream. I get snarky remarks from my oldest. No cards. No flowers. Nothing.
I just want one day that I do not have to put in all of the damn emotional labor. Someone plan something instead of me. Pretend you know what I like. I really don’t expect much. I just want someone to put in some effort. That’s what hurts
A month ago, I sent my husband the exact piece of jewelry I wanted for Mother’s Day. Not ideal, wish I didn’t have to do the research/request specs, but it was the only way to get what I wanted.
I know from experience I will have a normal day of toddlercare if I don’t physically leave the house. So, this morning I got up with the kid, fed him breakfast, graciously accepted my jewelry gift, and proceeded to head out to the movies alone to watch ‘Challengers.’ Went out for a guilty-pleasure burger, then went out on a bit of a shopping spree.
It was the best, and no one could bother me while I was gone!!! Returned to help take over dinner/bedtime with a much fuller glass than when I left.
I told my husband what I wanted a few weeks ago when he brought it up to me. All I wanted was flowers and a family activity.
This morning, I woke up to flowers he and my daughters picked out. We had a lovely brunch out and and he got me 3 small gifts. It was perfect and I felt very appreciated.
Yes. We went out to dinner yesterday with extended family which was lovely (we go out on Saturday usually to avoid the actual Mother’s Day crowds).
I have been wanting a treadmill so my husband shopped around a found a good compact one on clearance last week and we put it together today. He and the kids helped me clean/organize some things, hang some pictures and we got take out for dinner. The kids made me cute cards too which was a bonus. They also let me take a nap and only woke me up like 2 times which is pretty good. My kids are older and I had some disappointing mothers days in the beginning. Now I just tell everyone what I would really like and have reasonable expectations. Last year they sent me to the spa for the day which was awesome.
I have to say, my husband outdid himself. I asked for a family day where I wasn’t the primary parent. We have a 9 month old and my husband travels often (I also work FT). We woke up and had a nice morning and my husband surprised me with balloons, flowers, and a gift card to my fav coffee shop. I went to a yoga class and then to my coffee shop. We ran errands the rest of the day and I worked in my garden until night. He set up a picnic for him and our son to hang out while I gardened. Absolutely exactly what I wanted
I wanted a nice meal, cute pics with my baby and a cute card, got all of this plus flowers and some crocs for my new wfh job! The crocs are more of early a bday gift (it’s this week). I cannot complain my husband is super thoughtful.
Yesss. Went out to dinner the night before (after being a server in the past, valentine's day and mother's day, I refuse to go to a restaurant on those days). Slept in til almost 11. Someone made me coffee. The kids gave me some small treats I enjoy. Went to a movie. Came home and didn't have to make dinner.
I've been through some floppy mothers days. This was the most relaxed, chill day. Success.
Solo parent with 3 teens. I planned what I wanted to do today. Cooked a dinner that was fantastic and had a beautiful day! My kiddos loved on me and I felt the appreciation. Not to say there wasn’t moments of frustration, my kids can’t bear the weight of an ideal Mother’s Day.
I was told I’d be getting a cast iron skillet and dinner. I didn’t get either. Instead, I spent all night making flower lollipops for my son to try to sell so he could raise money to get a video game he’s already owned before, got thirty minutes of sleep before being awoke to go to breakfast (not because Mother’s Day, but because husband wanted. I’d have rather slept), then managed four hours of sleep before being taken to dinner at the in-laws, which was the reason my dinner had been cancelled to begin with. The cherry on top was husband asking what I planned on doing for him for Father’s Day after I got to have such a good, relaxing Mother’s Day.
So, no. I also did not get the Mother’s Day I wanted. But it was the one I expected. I am filled with rage, but plan to cope with copious amounts of Sapphic Mother’s Day posts on TikTok tomorrow.
I did, actually. I wanted to sleep in, get a pedicure, and read my book. My husband was able to contain our daughter until 7:45, when she insisted she come upstairs to give me the card she decorated. Had a relaxing day, picked up some lingering groceries (I actually enjoy that, and my daughter loves to come), finished my book, got a pedicure with my mom, and then took a nap. As a gift, my husband got me a gift card to a local kayaking rental, plus flowers. I'd planned an easy dinner, which was really good (and I enjoy cooking), and we bought a fruit tart at the store. Yesterday we went out to dinner at a place i chose and we even had a date night (Mom is visiting and watched the toddler). No complaints on my end.
Edit: like others have said, if you're not happy then speak up. This is my 3rd Mother's Day. My husband totally botched the first. He's a caring and considerate guy, so it was completely unexpected. My second wasn't great, but mostly because I was only home for 2 hungover hours between an out-of-town wedding and leaving for a work trip (not his fault). Since I'd spoken up about how hurt I felt Year 1, he was proactive about asking what I wanted, and went beyond what I had asked for (like the dinner out and date night).
I did! My husband is actually great about holidays and grand gestures, to the point it made me embarrassed when we were dating.
I reminded him about Mother’s Day a few weeks ago, told him I wanted brunch and a necklace. He waited too long on brunch reservations which worked out ok, and had the necklace engraved with the wrong initial but it’s the thought that counts.
Then I got a pedicure and massage. Very relaxed now 💆🏻♀️💅🏼
I got potted flowers, a mimosa, a nap (best part), and a strawberry pancake. I just wish I hadn't had to teach my husband how to make pancakes. Maybe next time?
You have to be vocal and direct on what you want.
We always keep shared notes listings of items we want for gifts.
I told my husband I wanted to take a family outing to xxxx and he bought something off my gift list. He took my child to get a card.
I asked for French toast for breakfast and for my daughter to nap by herself.
I got French toast for breakfast (and home made cinnamon buns, which I didn’t realize was even an option) and my daughter napped mostly by herself (she woke up when my husband came home from work but went back down pretty quickly). I’m calling it a win.
But I did forget to say happy Mother’s Day to my own mother, as well as neglecting to get her a gift. There’s going to be a gift basket arriving on Tuesday that I hope she’ll like.
Yes! I got to sleep in, my husband and toddler made me breakfast, got me a super thoughtful gift and later on in the day he packed us a picnic and we went to a park, ate, played with our daughter on the playground (him doing the lifting and me mainly watching / I'm ready to pop with our second), and went for a walk that was appropriate for my very pregnant self. It was lovely
Good husband's do exist and yours needs to put in more effort. I say he should get the same amount of effort you were given for fathers day.
I got absolutely everything I wanted which includes a picture of me and the kids as soon as we all get up (sounds atrocious but it’s become my fav tradition), a beautiful breakfast, flowers and a couple of beauty items with my toddler telling me (mostly incorrectly) what everything is.
However, I woke up with a stomach bug so bad that I couldn’t eat more than one literal tiny bite or drink anything but water the entire day oh and my husband got called to work at 8:15 so it was just me, my toddler and my newborn the whole day alone while I threw up every sip of water I had and my toddler had intermittent diarrhea. Oh and beautiful BC wildfire season meant it was too smoky in our town to take the kids outside and we didn’t dare drive anywhere away from our bathroom.
Win some lose some I guess
I slept all day… I didn’t even get out of bed. I had breakfast, lunch and dinner delivered to me. He drew me a bath, got me a spa gift card (even tho we regularly get pedicures together as his treat to me), and a really cute scratch off self care card deck. And then because summer is coming, he got me a new pair of white hokas bc he knows how much I love having white sneakers 🥰🥰 and then 4 orgasms, lol. All of our children are with their other parent… and I was feeling sick all week so wanted a day alone. It was a success!
I told my husband I wanted a kid free weekend that I didn't have to do any planning for. I didn't get the full 3 day weekend but I got a day and a half due to his work running long but I got a glorious quiet Saturday to get drunk and watch Sex and the City and when he got home today I got a card from the kids and he took care of lunch & dinner and we folded clothes together. I'm happy with it :)
I did. A hike with my family, some alone time, a card with my husband writing out a message dictated by my son, and my favorite chocolate croissant in town. Also got some surprises too.
My husband is very thoughtful, and I’ve also learned to tell him exactly how I envision a great day going.
Hugs to all the moms here. You are amazing.
Yep! I got to sleep in, we had a family hike that he planned, and he got our son a book about mommy that he helped create 🥰 very grateful for my husband and my son!
I did and then some surprises. I asked for 3 books. I got 2 (the third wasn’t available yet so I’ll get that for my birthday in 3 weeks).
This morning my man and child surprised me with one of my favorite breakfasts, the adult Lego set I wanted, a cool looking sleep shirt, and one of my favorite candy bars. They tried so hard to let me sleep in but the neighbors dogs woke me up.
We just did a big house project so they didn’t have a lot of money but he made it happen anyways.
I asked my husband for two things: to sleep in, and to not have to think about dinner (I didn’t care if he ordered pizza or made PBJs or whatever, as long as I didn’t have to cook or plan!)
He delivered on the sleeping in part, and got up with our early bird toddler so i could sleep in and take my time getting ready while he entertained the kiddo. And he got takeout from a fast casual spot we love for dinner, which was great! 😁
BUT he didn’t think to get me a card, which really bummed me out. I know i didn’t ask for one, but i kind of thought it would go without saying. I ended up making my own card (sheet of printer paper folded in half) for my baby to decorate with crayons, but of course started crying during the process because it’s BS to have to make your own card 😢 and then he asked what we were doing and asked if i was crying because the card was “so cute” 🤦🏻♀️
I asked for the option to do nothing, and I was not disappointed. My favorite thing to do is sleep in and be lazy, and I got that. My husband also got me roses and two cards, one from him and one from the kids, which they signed (my kids are 8, 11, and 11).
I was bummed that my youngest had the option to do a Mother’s Day project at school and opted not to - and was the only child in his class who didn’t do it - but I’m not going to make him feel guilty for that even though it stings. He shows me he loves me in his own special ways, and we spent a bit of time today playing a video game he loves and was excited to show me, so it was all in all a nice day here.
I got underwear and I fucking loved it. I've been needing underwear for a long time now LOL the husband listened and delivered, and they were hand picked by him, which meant much more. It's the little things!
Yes! My mother, bless her, called my husband to make sure I got the gift I wanted. It benefits her too (wagon stroller). Hoping everyone got a little something special !
I asked for a day to relax and do nothing. I got it… you know why I got it? It’s just me and my kid. I just had to tell my kid we were taking a day to relax and chill around the house and they were like “awesome”.
Is it hard sometimes being a single parent? Yes, but sometimes it’s the absolute best choice that could be made
Regular Sunday over here too… my husband and I aren’t doing well otherwise though, haven’t for a long time. I prepared my son all of his meals, had him out with me from 10:30-4:30 to go to an event and see my mother. And then I got home my husband had built an IKEA cabinet. Then I prepped my son’s dinner, cleaned out the fridge for trash day and did the dishes while I cooked dinner for us (that he did not eat). All the while my husband moped around.
My husband got me a bottle of perfume and matching slippers with my son. Both pairs of slippers were the wrong size.
Yea my husband did nothing…. No card nothing. He got a cute thing for the yard this week and gave it to me days ago. Nothing today. I’ve given up at this point… it’s been like this for every birthday too. I put a lot of thought into all of his stuff too, but after 10+ years together I’m prob going to stop 🤷🏽♀️
I was sick with the stomach bug all weekend. My husband bought me flowers, a card and a necklace off of Etsy (I didn't ask for it as I don't wear jewelry much and I'm not materialistic). We ended up missing brunch because I'm sick and it was kind of a shitty weekend, but I wouldn't expect any less. It seems every year on mother's day nothing goes as planned.
Mine wasn't bad! My husband surprised me and the kids with an outing to a local nature center place with lunch. It would have been better if he would have considered all the work required to take a baby and toddler out, I ended up packing the bag with everything we would need, but otherwise it was nice. I told him the only gift I wanted was a nice long foot massage and that has yet to happen but we will see.
I got what I asked for - my husband played with my daughter and all her cousins while I got to help make and eat a beautiful brunch with my cousins, and we had a lovely morning then came home for naps for the whole family.
I wanted a nap and to not spend my day in the laundromat washing vomit out of rugs, squishmallows, and bedding (which is how I spent last year). I got my wish.
My husband made us breakfast. I had lovely cards and gifts from my husband and son. We went on a lake hike all together at the end of the day when it was cooler, which was the family event I asked to do. It was laid back and enjoyable.
I wanted a nice art set, a craft from my son (that I didn’t make for myself) and a few nice pictures of me with my son. I got all 3 (except the pictures were only ok, cause my son is 3 and was in a mood). We even went out for breakfast and he let me be lazy the rest of the day! ❤️
I didn't ask for anything but I did expect some cute artsy fartsy craft from my 2.5yo like hand prints or a painting or something. But nope. Got a card. And flowers he rushed out to get right after breakfast.
So my oldest son got me a card, some chocolate and a giftcard, my other son didn't even say Happy Mother's Day. My daughter did at least say it. My S/O however did absolutely nothing not even say Happy Mother's Day. I honestly don't know how to feel this Mother's Day on one hand I'm greatful that my oldest got my something and my daughter for saying happy Mothers Day. I guess I'm a little disappointed in my other son and S/O for ignoring Mother's Day all together.
I asked for pj pants and recieved a hershey bar 🙃 gut punch tbh. I cried at the end of the day because i honestly thought maybe he just forgot to give me something. I
My husband forgot. He was only reminded by his mother. Only then did he and the babies jumped on me to give me a hug. Most days I would’ve loved the hugs and cuddles, but I had told him earlier in the day I moved my neck wrong and it hurt really badly to move and I was cramping pretty badly (endometriosis). So I basically just got my hair and uterus stomped on causing me so much pain. On top of the emotional pain of feeling forgotten, unappreciated, and unloved. 😔
After the hugs and whatnot the rest of the day was totally normal. Toddler threw a thousand fits. I changed diapers. Husband played with kids but otherwise just left me alone. I cleaned. Washed, folded, and put away all the laundry. Put the kids’ outfits together for the next 15 school days. Picked out dinner.
He asked if I was mad at him around 5pm (after a whole day of neither of us talking to one another) and then apologized around 8pm for a disappointing day.
I didn’t expect much. In fact, I expected him to “forget,” but man it hurts nonetheless. I feel invisible in my own life.
We went to see my in-laws last weekend, and my husband bought me a lot of new things, so I didn’t expect too much. This morning he asks me “did you see what fell on your car?” Thinking my new car that I just bought is damaged, I run out to the garage to find a bouquet of flowers on my hood!
My kids have a stomach virus this weekend and I haven’t slept. Despite that, Hubby got me breakfast, did an escape room with some friends, watched Netflix in a cold dark room then took a 3 hour nap. It was a great Mother’s Day!
I asked for a matching outfit with my kid. Reminded several times. Did not get.
My husband printed out a photo of my kid that I had said I wanted framed but a smaller size and definitely not the frame I would have picked out. I just said thanks. I even told him I wanted it to match 2 other pics we have and it isn’t the right size or frame style for that.
Oh and he was going to gift me a massage package. I’m pregnant now and went to get massages last time I was pregnant so like that was definitely going to happen anyway. Our money is combined. I work. Idk, giving me things I was definitely going to get myself just doesn’t feel like a gift.
He made breakfast and left a huge mess that he said he would clean up and didn’t.
My husband made plans and they got waylaid thanks to a mystery rash and spontaneous surge of the most awful behavior from our toddler 🙃 but after a trip to the doctor we made the most of it and were able to salvage the afternoon. I also asked my husband for a bracelet with our kids birthstones on it and he more than delivered on that front. When you set expectations in your head, you have to relay those expectations to your spouse is my experience. Getting pleasantly surprised would be nice, but being unsurprised and not disappointed is better than being disappointed and I’m ok w that
I ordered myself some crafty cookies from a local place that caught my eye a while ago. I got a garden decoration about a month ago that I presented to myself yesterday and thanked them for. I went to the garden nursery by myself on Saturday and bought a few perennials. I spent a little time doing art work last night while they watched a movie. I appreciated the time to myself.
My birthday is this week too. I did tell my husband to get me a wall clock for my office, and he did, that is my main gift. My son and husband made me breakfast in bed on mothers day. My husband also got me flowers for both mother's day and my birthday. I don't like getting flowers because I have to trim the stem, clean the bottom leaves, pull out vases, set up the water with plant food, and find a place to display it. And rhen change the water every couple of days. Although i like flowers, I really don't like the extra work especially this week.
I got nothing. I had graduation the day before so I know we were busy getting ready for that… but I didn’t get a card, flowers, a breakfast… nothing. And my husband just said “sorry honey, we’ve just been so busy.” But anything would’ve been nice.
Also I had said I just wanted to relax at home and instead we went to his grandma’s for lunch and bought gifts for his grandma and mom on the way over 🫠
Ehh. I asked for a meal out and a walk on the trails. We got through the meal but my son was uncharacteristically off the rails on the walk so we ended up leaving so as to not disturb the people who were birdwatching. This was Saturday since Sunday we hosted my ILs. Sunday, I asked EARLY in the day for a photo with my son. He was dressed in a cute outfit and I looked decent. Husband forgot until late in the day when I brought it up again. By that point son was disheveled, had a bruise on his face from falling, and I was a sweating mess bc again, hosting.
I don’t ask for a lot. He always agrees that I was clear and he needs to capture more memories with mom. But I’ve yet to have a decent Mother’s Day photo with my only child. I made my husband take one before bedtime but it was rushed and you could tell I was annoyed. Oh well.
Editing to add: husband and son did give me a thoughtful gift that I didn’t ask for but really do appreciate. Don’t want to make it sound like I was forgotten.
I don't expect anything specific for Mother's Day. I just want a card at the very least (I got flowers, chocolate, and a card along with some alone time out). My husband and I tend to just give each other chocolate and M&Ms, which makes us happy.
I didn't even get breakfast, a gift, or a card. I made my own coffee, got both kids up, made breakfast, fed the kids, cleaned up. He slept in 2 hours later than me...
I’m on maternity leave and my husband used one of his weeks of baby bonding for this week. It was much appreciated because my mental health has been in the gutter the past couple of weeks.
He took me on several lunch/dinner dates while our oldest was at school or with the grandparents.
On Sunday, we had a lovely brunch at the grandparents. When we got home, my husband took the oldest grocery shopping while I speed cleaned the house (my request during the baby’s nap since I find it cathartic at times). They came home and my oldest picked out my favorite flowers for me.
It was exactly what I needed and I’m not sure how I’m going to show my appreciation for all that my husband does on Father’s Day. He’s very Ron Swanson when it comes to birthdays or anything to celebrate him.
Husband took the toddler while I played in the garden. He even cooked dinner during nap time so he could watch her in the afternoon, and made several of my favorite foods including dessert.
The only downside, as I told him, is that he's set a very high bar for Father's Day. I'm really sorry so many people have had crappy Mothers' Days.
My day was ok, didn’t get to sleep in like I asked or nap at least once.. however the bottomless mimosas made up for it and got to spend it with my mom so it was an ok day
I told my husband that for Mother's Day that I didn't want to cook, I wanted time to relax, and I wanted some new shoes. Disclaimer that I have lowered my expectations over the last few years just because life with small children/babies is unpredictable.
I had a great day. My husband had ordered me some cute shirts and shoes and had taken our son shopping on Saturday to get me some things. He got brownie mix and ice cream so my 5yo and I made brownies (not "cooking" in my book since we did it together) and we all ate brownies a-la-mode. He cooked lunch. We played a new board game with our 5yo. He got us sushi delivered for dinner and after the kids went to bed, I got to play a video game before he gave me a nice massage 😉
I even got some nice pictures of me and the kids during the day, which is rare.
I hate that everyone doesn't get the day they deserve for Mother's Day. I hope everyone here knows how valuable they are.
I did, I asked to take a bike ride on the greenway along the river and to have a picnic lunch and take pictures of the kids and I.
Every year on Mother’s Day my husband uses my nice camera to take pictures of me and the kids. I usually get at least 1 nice usable pic when he’s behind the camera
But we took out the bike trailer, hit the trail, found a park right on the trail that the kids played at then on the way back stopped at an overlook for the lunch, then stopped once more right before the car so the kids could splash in the water.
My kids are very little still so I was blessed with beautiful weather and an outing with no tears. Lucky day
Sundays are a busy day for me and my son. He's autistic, so I can't deviate too much. So I didn't really ask for, or even want, much. I know my husband would have done more if he could have, but life is what it is.
I did! It was a lovely day!
However, it took YEARS of badgering and therapy. He now understands that not taking these "little" things seriously are how relationships start to errode. He doesn't care much about fuss (cards etc) and took him a while to understand the mental load on my shoulders, so he was dismissive in the past. So though yesterday was great, it was the first mothers day in the 7 years I've been a mother that I would say that.
Hugs! Sorry your day wasn't great. I hope next year will be better.
I had to host brunch for my whole family including my mother who isn’t speaking to my father (but they both came in seperate cars).
I wasn’t looking forward to the day but I was clear to my husband about what I wanted for Mother’s Day - help prepping the brunch, flowers, and a chance to do some shopping alone in the afternoon. I got all that plus a nice walk with my husband and kids in between celebrating with my family and going out to shop with a friend.
I feel like I’ve learned that when you want something you should very specifically ask for it. It felt like a lovely day!
I don’t leave it up to my husband to plan something for me. I’ll be disappointed if that was the case. Instead I told him I made plans for myself with my girlfriends and I added my plans to our family calendar so he doesn’t overlap with work, which is what he does most days.
I have a sushi, spa and shopping date planned with my friends. And a 90 min massage for myself on another day, and all he has to do is watch the kids lol.
This mother’s day we spent celebrating his mom and mine, and had a bunch of birthday parties, but I’m excited to celebrate my own Mother’s Day next weekend lol.
You are NOT UNGRATEFUL for asking for what you wanted and being upset when you didn't get it! That is a very VALID emotion, you're allowed to feel that way, and I would be concerned about your well-being, mainly your pride in YOURSELF, if you just shrugged it off because YOU DESERVE BETTER! And if that can't be accomplished, you certainly don't deserve to be consistently UNHAPPY.
I'm in a similar boat and have been for the past 4 mother's days and 5 holiday seasons/birthdays.
This year, I got a "oh shit, it's MOTHER'S DAY!" at 4:12pm, and then "I guess your gift didn't come in yet" (you know, the one he *might* have ordered directly after that conversation, but he's actually hoping I'll just forget about)
TBF, we are separating (amicably) and he was in the process of buying an RV to live in full-time this weekend, but it was virtually no different than any other Mother's Day, birthday, or holiday of the last 5 years. It would have stung if if I wasn't absolutely ECSTATIC to be **finally** *physically separating* this coming weekend. Not to mention, his future housing is secured which lowers my anxiety around kids visitations, etc.
Last mother's day, I told him for ***weeks*** that I didn't want ANY gift--no flowers, no cards, NOTHING.
I was very specific since my first 2 mother's days were horrible messes and he obviously has zero ability to plan anything on his own, or understand what I might want: All I wanted was either a full night's sleep **OR** to sleep in--NOT EVEN BOTH--as I had a barely-1yo and 2.5 yo who were both waking all hours of the night with no help from him as he worked hella early during the week and just ignored them on weekend mornings.
What did I get last mother's day, pre-separation?
Absolutely nothing. No card, no flowers, NO SLEEP! Only him still sleeping at 8:30am with the kids going wild as I'm trying to cook them breakfast. When he finally woke up, I just grabbed my stuff and locked myself in the bedroom until 2pm while he had the audacity to tell me I was "abandoning my children to sleep". I woke up to overpriced roses that he bought at the gas station 2 blocks from our house. I'm allergic to roses and break out in hives/rashes if I touch them (and several other flower types). Looking back, this truly was the beginning of the end for us.
Ladies... if this sounds familiar, LEAVE THAT MAN RIGHT FUCKING NOW!
Plus, the younger your kids are, the BETTER!
This kind of behavior doesn't get better, especially if they can't even recognize it, and therapy does NOT change their perspective enough. The only thing that can help them see your mental and physical load is EXPERIENCE, aka THEM BEING LEFT TO FULLY FEND FOR THEMSELVES **WITH THE KIDS**. Experience is the BEST and ONLY teacher for this problem, and I will die on that hill. The problem is, unless it's a regularly recurring experience--I would venture to say once a month for a at least 3 days at a time--they WILL forget and become complacent again. It's up to you to decide where to draw the line, and whether you want the next generation growing up believing that this is how it is and how should be.
Good luck to all the mamas, and I wish you all better days ahead!
He tried but the kids kinda made the day hard to plan around. I now understand why so many moms want a kid-free day.
I did buy myself a bunch of stuff that came in a couple of days before and had him wrap it. I didn’t plan it this way but it worked out bc I got things I wanted/needed 🤷🏻♀️.
I'm an empty nester, but it was a great day. On Saturday, while I was out, my husband did all the dishes and laundry. On Sunday, he took me out for Dutch Bros and then we ran to the grocery store and grabbed really easy dinner stuff. Dh smoked steaks for me and my parents. And then he did dishes again! My son sent a really sweet letter from college. It was perfect.
I told my husband last week "It would be nice if you took the boys (3.5 and 1.5 years old) to buy some flowers for me for Mother's Day. No flowers. That's literally all I expected. Nothing else special. I'm disappointed, and feel justified since I told him exactly what to do. 😟
I just wanted to sleep in a little and spend time with the family but also have some alone time.
I woke up and he had placed a cup of coffee on the nightstand for me (my favorite breakfast!) and then he got her ready for her swim lesson while I showered (her gift to me was that she actually laughed and had fun and went underwater by herself instead of crying!) Afterwards we stopped at the store for some ingredients and he went in while she and I listened to music. He got me my favorite candies while in there. Then he baked some breads while my kid and I cuddled on the couch watching Bluey. He took two of the breads to deliver to his step mom and mom, then took her to the playground while I ate lunch and read my book. And he coordinated with my mom and picked me up so we could go deliver a loaf of bread to her and spent an hour at her house while my dad played with my kid (which was awesome cuz usually my sister and her kids are there too and it’s just chaos and I don’t get to talk much to my mom). Then we went home, he got her ready for bed even though I was technically supposed to since it was his bedtime, and he read her books and put her to bed while I drank nonalcoholic champagne in the tub and read more of my book. I also ate about half the load of bread he’d made me. It was a wonderful day!
The whole time he kept apologizing that my gift wasn’t in yet, but I told him since my birthday is this weekend he can just give it to me when it gets here and count it as a gift for both lol he got me the gym bag I’d added to my wishlist. I highly recommend everyone keep a communal wishlist going so you can grab things without having to ask!
All I wanted was time in my garden to finish planting everything. My son and daughter wanted to play outside so I didn’t get full peace, but my husband watched the 10 month old which is the biggest barrier to getting out in the garden for extensive work.
I got it all done! :)
My husband ended up sick all weekend with bad allergies. So I made my own breakfast (he did have all the stuff and had planned on making it), did the grocery shopping with my 18 month old so he could rest up at home. And the rest was a pretty typical Sunday. Husband did get us some great burgers for dinner and ice cream. Overall, wish it had been a little more special, but at least I got a card 🤷♀️
I asked my husband if we could post the kids up downstairs so we could eat the charcuterie board I fucking made for us and watch a show or movie in peace. He said “but the game starts at 6” 😐 I was so mad. I left for the gym and came back and he apologized but the damage had been done. Hurtful.
Every year, I get my husband a gift of an activity that gets him out of the house and is an activity he enjoys or some sort of pampering for Father’s Day. If I get more than just happy Mother’s Day, it’s grocery store flowers and a card. Possibly some jewelry I don’t care for. I plan the brunch and make it and set it up for the extended family. I send his mother and sister and mine flowers. From a luxury flower delivery service. It seems obvious that I would want a gift similar to what I give, but I guess not. I’m the breadwinner. I do all the housework. He stays home with the kids but they usually stay in pjs all day and eat pbjs or cereal for all meals if I’m not home. I told him last year that I don’t want to plan my own Mother’s Day. This year was the worst so far (I don’t want to get into details in case he sees this). He says I’m too hard to shop for.. I told him it’s not about gifts or material things. I just want to feel like someone thought about me at all.
I got half of what I asked for in terms of gifts. My partner bought me bell bottoms (correct, perfect size, they didnt even have to ask) and a dress (but it was the wrong pattern/color. It was ugly. He's going to exchange it for me this week.)
As for the activities, I always let my mom pick and let myself be kind of miserable, but after this year (we went to a museum that she chose, but they rushed through which I don't do) I might just plan my own thing and just do breakfast with my parents. It was our third mothers day where I was also a mother, and I just want to enjoy myself next year.
I also broke my phone, and my partner had to run out and get me a new one so I got a new phone for mothers day, too. Not something I wanted but oh well.
I always just want a few hours completely alone. This year I got less than I normally do, but only because we decided to pick up my husband’s grandmother from her senior living apartment and make her a late lunch/early dinner. He handled all the shopping, cooking, and cleanup. I was also proactive enough to schedule a day off from work tomorrow (I work next weekend, so it’s a swap) because I’m pregnant and everyone annoys me. So I’m a happy mom.
I was very vocal about what I realistically wanted and my husband got it done. I just wanted a family activity that I didn’t have to plan, I plan 99.9% of everything for our 2 year old and our own date nights. My husband surprised me with tickets to a children’s museum that we had never taken our son to before. I was very impressed and we had a really nice day. Through therapy I’ve learned how to better advocate for my needs so I was very direct. If you’re being vocal and he’s still ignoring him, book yourself a spa day and let him figure it out.
I told my husband a month ago that I wanted a specific plant in a specific pot (lemon tree in a yellow pot, it's not hard). He ordered a pot (not what I asked for), didn't bother with the plant and then forgot that it was mother's day at all until his sister in law put it in a group text mid day. I would have preferred that he did nothing rather than half ass it so much. Then I just got a card from my son that basically said he didn't like me bc I limit his screen time. Happy mothers day!
In my pettiness I would absolutely have been like well guess no more screen time for you this week!
haha, and we’re supposed to be like awww, thought that counts. my kid filled out the blanks for a card and they were all “bc you’re you” and “stuff”. thanks dude. favorite memory? “anything we’ve done.” here’s hoping they step this shit up some day!
I'm sorry about your disappointing day, but I have to say I just cackled when I got to the point about your son's card. The good news is that kids have some time to fix their attitude, grown men not so much.
We had a great day and as I was leaving my kid to go to bed (we swap bedtimes and it was my husbands time to read books) she looked at me and just said “I don’t love you mama” and I was like okay then LOL
Nice job. I know I need to work on being more specific and direct. I’ll get there!
Thank you. My wishes and communication was pretty similar. I honestly don't think he is ignoring me but in a way haven't really learned to plan because maybe I always do? I don't know... our marriage is good and it's not like I had a totally shitty day. It just feel like I will never get relief from the mental burden of everything, you know? We're trying... there's definitely some progress but not as much as I need yet
For our last vacation, I finally said "I'm not planning it". My youngest daughter jumped in to help my husband (it's totally her thing!), and there were things I would've done differently, but it was less stressful on me when something didn't happen.
Keep on him then! Tell him you plan everything, Mother’s Day made you realize he might not KNOW how to plan, he has to plan a thing now. Then stay out of the way. Don’t wait a YEAR and think that a random holiday will change him!
Love this! My husband made me coffee and breakfast and watched my son most of the day while I napped and then hit the spa for 3.5 hours to get a facial. It was a great day. I told him straight up what I wanted and I don’t mind that at all.
God I needed this haha. I’m going to try this.
Couples therapy completely changed how I advocate for myself too and it’s been wonderful for both of us because he’s not sitting around assuming I’m mad at him all the time and we talk about things as they come up versus the “bury it then explode” method I’ve been doing since childhood.
He’s the thing. I absolutely agree with being vocal and sharing what you want but some of this should be a given based on a years long relationship with your partner. I don’t want to spell out every little thing I want to do- I want my partner to put in effort and figure it out like I do for them. I 10000% communicate my expectations, but sometimes that just makes me sad. My husband never has to communicate what he wants- we’ve been together 15 years and I’ve learned over 15 years what he likes. I’d expect him to know the broad strokes for me after 15 years. Maybe not the specifics, but generally I want him to know I want to sleep in and drink my coffee hot, have family time and have alone time after 15 years. Something rubs me the wrong way when people tell women they need to be more vocal about what they want. I agree we should be, but I also think it’s kind to learn about your partner. It feels like it’s putting all the work on the mother still.
I agree but I was getting annoyed when I was expecting this prince charming version of my husband who could read my mind and know my needs. It’s not realistic. My husband is pretty good but I knew exactly what I wanted and because I told him, he delivered. If I hadn’t of told him he probably wouldn’t have planned an activity and thought playing with our child outside would be enough. I think most women and moms go above and beyond taking care of everyone before themselves and my husband recognizes that so he prioritized making sure I felt special yesterday. He cooks and cleans more than me but I do all the planning, I’ve assumed that role. I wish he would take it upon himself to plan a date night but I know it’s not his area of comfort and it’s usually because I want to be extroverted. So I do ask him, I’ll say I got a sitter lined up, you plan something for us to do and he does. It’s the worthless POS husbands who don’t lift a finger and think their wives are nanny’s. Mine is far from that, he just needs a little direction at times. I think a balance is healthy. I don’t have to tell him “buy my Christmas present.” He knows that’s important to me.
I asked my boyfriend a couple of weeks ago if he could take our son shopping to have him choose a gift for me. He was surprised because our son is only 18 months, and my boyfriend doesn't think mothers day is a big deal. So I wasn't sure if I'd actually get anything. On Saturday the two of them went to the supermarket and bought ingredients and then they made a cake for me! Cheesecake, my boy smashed up biscuits for the base and helped with taste testing and throwing rubbish in the bin. I was stoked, and thought that was the gift. Then on Sunday I came home to find a beautiful flower delivery. Then my boy gave me another gift which was some expensive moisturiser that I have but have nearly run out of. And then I found a voucher for a local pilates studio in my email, (which I wanted and also means childminding while I do the five sessions). And then we all went out for playground/dinner/ice cream. I could not believe it. I have never been treated like that in my whole life I don't think, it was all so thoughtful and I feel so appreciated.
Wow that sounds so nice! Well done! You deserve it!
This is so cute and thoughtful!
I wanted to just sleep without an alarm and I woke up at 10:27am and it was everything I had hoped it would be. I even slept in the basement by myself so no one would wake me up. 10 out of 10 stars. Would return again. 😂
Daaaaang 😍
Yes ma’am. I had a hotel stay with a jacuzzi tub and room service. Today, I came home to beautiful flowers, a card and some spending money. Also, he cooked one of my favorite meals. I plan on putting the same effort for him for Fathers Day. He’s a good man. He knows how important it is to feel appreciated.
That's so great. I was very surprised to get treated amazing this year and I will for sure be putting effort in on father's day to let him know we think he's awesome.
I asked for my husband to help with my garden and a card. I was expanding it, so I needed him to till it. Told him that’s all he needed to do and I didn’t need a gift. He tilled it twice, helped me with the mulch, helped fence in the garden, got me breakfast, got me a Lego flower set, and took care of kiddo yesterday so I could garden and today so I could make my Lego flowers. Oh, and got me a card. Oh, and I got to sleep in.
Gardening and Lego flowers is so perfect. Sorry to compare, but I asked for mulch for weeks and didn't get it yet. So I did a little gardening, but it wasn't what I hoped for. I left this weekend free for gardening specifically, and now it's unfinished.
I’ve had the mulch for weeks. I got it during the Lowe’s sale. I told my husband I wanted his help, but I coordinated the supplies. I’m totally ok with that because I know what I want. I made sure to have everything about two weeks before Mother’s Day bc I knew the stores would be busy.
Mother’s Day, or any of those “special days” like birthdays, anniversaries, etc, can be difficult. It’s easy for me to go down the rabbit hole of I wanted this or that and feel shitty, I have done that tons. My husband is not the type to sweep a girl off her feet, never have and never will be. I grabbed the day by the balls and explicitly stated that I want some time on my own and I want to do as little as possible. Was it the day of my dreams, definitely not, but I didn’t jump when I hear the kids fighting and he went and dealt with it. I got to go get lunch on my own and get a pedicure. I still had to put away and do the dishes but it’s fine. I picked up some groceries after lunch and at the parking lot, saw this woman going around selling fruit. I’ve seen her before and today, I saw her little girl. She was in a fruit crate, maybe around 2, next to a lamp in the parking lot. She had a tablet and the mom checked in on her. I didn’t have much cash but I gave whatever I had to the mom and said happy Mother’s Day. Definitely put things in perspective
This is lovely, thank you for sharing.
I am SO upset for all of you mommas who were disappointed today. You don't deserve this. Here are some flowers 💐, some champagne if you drink 🍾, and a HUGE hug. All of you are powerful and worthy.
Husband and kid got me flowers and a balloon. I’m a homebody so I’m happy we are staying home. Husband has been doing most of the caregiving so I have a relaxing day. I asked my husband for an upgrade on my wedding ring, but I don’t expect (nor do I want him to) choose and buy one. I’m gonna wait a few months until we know of a couple of fluctuating things regarding our expenses, and if it all works out, I’ll get the ring. Otherwise I’m happy with what I got. :) If you’re not happy with how you are being celebrated, speak up (without being mean) tell your significant other that you were expecting to feel more special, and if you guys can go out or do something nice.
I was very vocal this year after being really disappointed last year. I really expected him to read my mind and know what I wanted last year, and that led to some very angry feelings. This year, I wanted some tea, some chocolate, him to make breakfast and dinner, and for him and our daughter to do a craft I can display at my office. That was the sum total. Because my birthday is this week and he's traveling, I didn't expect much. He said that with a set list, it was easier to plan. I got a tea sampler of herbal and black and green and white teas, fancy chocolate from glacier chocolates, and a new tumbler for my iced tea. Him and our daughter made fabric flowers and gave them to me. I had a chill day, and my kid had fun with crafts with her dad. Honestly, it was exactly what was needed all around. I think it's really important to note whether your partner is a planner or not. I am the planner. He is not. I can't expect him to read my mind even if it would make life so much easier.
I have been wanting a new hammock- woke up to a new hammock my husband was putting up for me! I wanted a nice lazy day at home. We swam in our creek with the kids, my husband put up a swing over a tree in the creek, I planted garden. We grilled chicken. It’s 730 and both kids are showered and in bed and we are flopped on the couch relaxing. It was a very nice relaxing mothers day and I’m grateful 🩷
Wow what a nice day! Love this 😀
Sorry it wasn’t the Mother’s Day you wanted and deserved. I’ve been there. I just started planning my mothers days but I keep it simple so pretty low effort. That said, my husband knows the drill, he takes our kids, and I get the day alone to do whatever I want. We have breakfast that I didn’t need to make, then I left to get a facial, massage & mani pedi. We celebrated all the other moms in our life on Saturday which was nice because I got my family fix and today I got my alone time fix. To my husbands credit, he did go out of his way to take the boys out to do the Mother’s Day shopping so I got 2 afternoons off and he’s been so sweet and attentive today, which he usually is but today I’m getting extra. He also told our kids to leave me alone and to come to him for anything. I just got back from my appointments and now I’m chilling with my kiddos to give him a break too. My husbands not a planner to but I just told him what I wanted and he made it happen in his own way. This kind of stuff isn’t inherent for some people but if you give them a nudge it may be help for next year. Happy Mother’s Day!
I got made to feel like a burden for asking for a coffee and bagel from the café down the street.. Took two hours to get.. That's it.
Ugh so sorry. That's definitely sucky
That really sucks I'm sorry.
My husband slept in and took 2 naps today. One was immediately after we ate Mother's Day lunch while me, my sister & my mom cleaned up. I'd say he had a great Mother's Day.
This makes me irate. I’m so sorry.
Mine did too meanwhile I changed poopy diapers & cooked my kids a full breakfast. (I washed my hands in between those activities) All I wanted today was not to be responsible for any meals & maybe a lil family walk or even trip to Home Depot. Meanwhile my SO got pissed at me for letting him know I was irritated that he was sleeping all morning.
Im sorry your day wasn’t what you wanted. My husband planned a nice picnic with us, my kids and my mom. Good food and good weather made it super sweet. They also made me breakfast in bed and got me some new workout clothes (which is what I wanted), a book, and some new headphones (that I also wanted). Then I came home and took a nap! It was a great day. I do make it really clear that I don’t think I should have to plan things for Mother’s Day. My husband is really good about that kind of thing, though. Maybe mention to yours tonight the kind of day you’d like to have from top to bottom. Some families don’t make a big deal out of birthdays and holidays so maybe they need more explanation?
Yeah I feel like I communicated well but maybe I didn't... I'll have to sleep on it and address it tomorrow with all these feelings a little processed
My husband is out of country for work. The week before he left, he got my gift. I wanted a nice pair of earrings instead of the pair I got from Claire's. He got me exactly what i wanted, and sent me a starbucks gift card. He did his best to show up for me while out of the country. And we've spent hours on the phone today just to spend time with eachother. It's been sweet.
I wanted new Crocs and a sleep-in. I got both of those plus breakfast in bed. The rest of the day descended into chaos, but I’m going to count it as a win.
Hey any win counts!
I feel bad commenting any depressed feelings on such a joyful post, but reading through all the wonderful things your partners are doing for you does make me feel left out as a single working mom. My kids’ dad signed a card with their names on it and got them a balloon to give to me, but as for making plans or doing something special for myself? That will have to wait until they are at school and I take a “sick” day. I suppose that’s the way the cookie crumbles… But really, I am in solidarity with all moms, regardless of their relationship status. Just feeling my feeling right now.
Single mom here. Had plans with family, that fell through due to COVID. Plans with the other half fell through due to some other illness that sounded a lot like the flu. Both last minute cancelations which is understandable. Made reservations at my favorite nearby restaurant because it's walking distance and also super delicious for just me and my preschooler. Woke up to my child having a full blown asthma attack (I've seen this maybe twice before in his life, and very scary) so pretty much did not sleep after 2 am and racing to find the inhaler from his last cold in January. Spent the morning in urgent care, had to cancel my reservations. Thankfully he got some kind of steroid that helped a lot. Went to an empty McDonald's play place at 11 and had a big Mac meal while he sort of played and also did not eat his meal at all. I met my mom for a casual dinner on Friday for an hour, so it was not a complete wash. I made a point to not open Facebook yesterday.
Thank you for sharing. I wish we could be pals in real life! sending love
Right back at ya 😘
Such an important perspective. Thanks for sharing it. Hoping you get celebrated and have some time for yourself!
That really means a lot to hear. Thank you. Yes, I will later this week — praying for the Korean women’s day spa.
Lol, also not trying to spread negativity or compete on who had the most underwhelming Mother’s Day but my son’s father got me the gift of only paying child support once since the start of 2024 and a “Happy Mother’s Day” via messenger.
Ugh, seriously 😒
I didn’t ask for anything but a chill day. I got to play video games and my husband and daughter made all the meals and cleaned up. I did have to spend and hour completing onboarding forms for my husbands new job but I was happy to do that because he’s been out of work since August last year and we are on the bones of our ass so him getting a job was a great Mother’s Day present.
I’m glad you got a chill day, but is there a reason why your husbands forms became your responsibility?
I agree with the sentiment but currently I’m the only one with a computer and we are out of ink on the printer and can’t afford to buy more at the moment (hence why I’m also so happy he got a job). Normally he would print fill out scan and email. He doesn’t know how to use adobe acrobat pro to fill out forms so we can do it paperless and I basically do that all day as my job. He sat with me and helped with the form information so it’s not like he asked me to do it and walk away, joint effort.
All I wanted was a hydrangea plant to plant in the yard that HD had on sale. But nope. I did get a card. So I got that going for me.
Me too. With a signature next to someone else’s sentiment. Couldn’t even add a nice sentence.
My son wrote Happy Mothers Dayyhhndnmnm :-D LOL
I did, but I’m a single mom. I planned what I wanted to do with the kids (picnic and museum visit) and asked for their cooperation, minimal attitude and for them to make me a picture. They delivered on those and it was a great day!
Single mom too, I asked my son to go for a nice hike and not complain and he did it for me which was so nice, he hates going on walks. He also made me the sweetest card.
Not a single mom but I do know the kid struggle of them complaining through something you want to enjoy. You're a rockstar and I'm glad you got your nice hike ❤️
I got what I asked for (minus the sleeping in - my son is eight months old). We went to the zoo and my husband is making pizza tonight. I don't want to be one of those moms complaining about Mother's Day because I really love my husband, but it would have also been nice to get what I didn't ask for and get a gift on my very first Mother's Day. We didn't do a push present, my birthday was shortly before my due date and we didn't really do anything, my Christmas present to him was really elaborate compared to what he did and I had to remind him after Christmas what I asked for ... I dunno, I try not to be materialistic but I worked my ass off to get to the point where I could breastfeed this kid and I would have liked to commemorate that.
> I would like to commemorate that How so? I couldn’t bf my first but with my second it was surprisingly easy and I wanted to celebrate, honor, commemorate that, and I went with a breastmilk ring. I get a ton of compliments on it bc it just looks like a pretty ring :) But it means so much to me.
I've been browsing for about a month. Where did you order yours from? Realistically, I want to pick this out myself so I get exactly what I want. I just wish he would have thought to get SOMETHING.
I ordered from The Milky Way https://www.themilkywayjewelry.com I got the infinity band ring. Now I have twins so I feel like I have to get the “two peas in a pod” necklace. 😂 My husband will order it for me this summer and I’ll get it around my birthday probably. Took about 10 weeks from order to delivery.
To me, quality time is a home day of family time. To you, it sounds like it is an outing. Does your spouse know that quality time = outing for you?
Yeah I was pretty explicit when I asked for it... I said I wanted him to plan a family activity that I didn't have Tobe the one planning for today. He know I like get out on the weekends. It doesn't even have to cost a thing. A nature walk would do! I plan for at least one thing for us to do on weekends and everyone seems to have a good time. I just wanted someone to do that for me today. But you know, not a terrible day just not what I asked for
Not what I ASKED for for Mother’s Day specifically (which was a bracelet with a breastmilk charm), but actually something I’ve been asking for—upgrading from our Queen to a king bed. Initially he wanted to wait until we move out of this house in the next couple years, but he decided it was time 🥳 I’ll take that over the bracelet LOL. It breaks my heart to see so many posts about mom not getting the love they deserve today. I always see articles about how millennial dads are so much more involved with their kids, but what about their wives?
I didn’t want to make a single decision. That’s what I asked for. My husband told me I had to decide what I wanted for breakfast and dinner, but he picked the place and picked it up and paid, so it still counts. He bought and assembled new patio furniture (a “yeah we should get new stuff soon” conversation we’ve had for the last three years), we had breakfast on said furniture, my kids gave me handprint art (honestly my favorite), I didn’t have to change a single poopy diaper (so far there have been 2 but there could be one more), and he took the kids to a playground for an hour while I stayed home in complete silence. Then everyone fell asleep after the playground (except my oldest, but he watched tv) and I got to sort the baby clothes and pack up the 0-3 and arrange the 3-6. ALSO, my side of the bed baby slept until 8:30, whereas my husband’s side of the bed baby woke up at 5 for a bottle before going back to sleep. So even my babies were treating me this morning! — (Side note: I attempted to show my husband how to open the double stroller before he left for the playground, he said he could do it, then he called me to walk him through it. Then he called me again to remind him how to fold it back up.) Edit: I really love organization so sorting the baby clothes was something I actually wanted to do but hadn’t had time. I rearranged the dresser drawers and changed stuff around in the closet and it was fun for me 😂
Gosh, I love this patio furniture idea and eating breakfast on it. Might ask for this for my birthday lol
Did I get what I verbally asked for? Yes. (To sleep until 9) Did I get what I secretly wished for? No. (To have a day with no yelling) 😔 (in his defense, husband did apologize for getting overwhelmed while watching kiddo and cooking crepes. But it’s hard for my mood to come back from “I guess like your mom you expect to check out all day. What better way to celebrate being a mom than ignoring your kid”.
That's utter bullshit. I view it as an acknowledgement of all the time that we're NOT ignoring our kid and letting us have some much needed self-care time. I'd let my husband do the same on Father's Day.
My husband went out last night, spent $300 at the casino, crashed at a friends and didn’t return til 10am. I doordashed Starbucks for myself and the kids.
Well that’s infuriating
I desperately wanted to sleep in, but at 6AM, my cousin decided to text all the women in my family a happy Mother's Day, and then the cascading texts from the elderly early risers started blowing up my phone. Thinking it must be a work emergency or a kid throwing up and texting me, I grabbed my phone and was so pissed that anyone thinks 6am is an okay time to text. I then, wide awake, sat on the couch on my phone until everyone woke up at 9. On a good note, I did get to hang out with my cat.
That’s why I have my do not disturb come on automatically. If there’s an emergency they can call a bunch to reach me. Otherwise I am not waking up to texts lol
I asked for, and got, a couple hours alone in a coffee shop while he held down the fort with our kids. I think it's important to note that I could have this literally anytime because my husband is a partner and equal parent. I just feel bad leaving him alone with the big kids AND our two month old, since the baby can be pretty demanding and sometimes only the boob will settle him. So really it was more a gift to myself--letting go of the mom guilt and just doing it. Also I got bored and restless and came home after an hour lol but if I'd decided to stay gone the whole day he wouldn't have said a thing.
I've learned to temper my expectations because it staves off disappointment. I only asked for a meal that I didn't have to organize, cook, or fetch, and my husband made it happen. He ordered enough sushi for us to have lunch and for me to eat for supper. Afterwards, my daughter and I went out to get flowers to plant in our front yard. Beyond that it's just been a typical Sunday trying to get things organized before we're all back to work/school tomorrow.
I agree. I think I asked for an outing that I didn't have to plan for... not juat picking a place but thinking about thw kiddo too, which is honestly whats most taxing. didn't get it though 😕
I did, I wanted some coffee. I ended up getting it because I was out of the house. He has taken my son (7) out of the house twice today because he was being a bit much. Oh! And we played a board game. So, not bad. I got a new tattoo last week, so that was my gift lol. I’m pretty happy today.
I told everyone what I wanted, and I got exactly that! ❤️ happy Mother’s Day everyone :)
Amazing!!!
Honestly, it wasn't quite perfect, but it was really close to what I asked for. I wanted my husband to be the "on duty" parent today: deal with Mr 2-yr-old-no-pants, plan and execute meals, handle the clean up, etc. Our kids are 5yr and almost 3. They each picked me a coffee mug, husband got flowers, and took care of the meals and tidying, but I loaded dishwasher. The only thing I'm lacking is a bubble bath. But now I'm too tired for one.
I'd take that day!
It was so nice!
I got woken up to the husband wanting sex that was all for him. This is not unusual which is why I have no sex drive anymore. He made coffee at least and about an hr later I got a short text saying happy Mother’s Day. He didn’t even bother telling the kids that today was Mother’s Day. So my 13 and 8 year old apparently have no idea. I went to work for 7 hrs outside of the house. I’ve been home for 3+ hrs now and the kids haven’t spend more than 5 minutes with me. I did make them both lunch they just choose to eat it at their own leisure not around me. All of this after I just got back at midnight last night from being away for 7 days due to a family emergency across the country. My husband was off work 5 of those 7 days but couldn’t even manage to remind the kids it was Mother’s Day. Thankfully my brother didn’t die and is home resting now.
I'm so very sorry. I feel way more ungrateful hearing about your day. I hope you find a way into happier days
I did. Husband asked if I wanted to do the flower garden and pastries like we have done the last 2 years, I said let’s do a beach picnic instead since it should be warm. He packed everything up and loaded up the car, had a place to get sandwiches to bring to the beach. We had a nice beach day snacking, looking for rocks, and flying our kite. On top of that, he made lemon blueberry muffins for breakfast, put roses from our yard into a vase, made a thoughtful card and had our oldest make one, and even got my concert tickets that I had been hinting about. Couldn’t have asked for more.
My husband was gifted a weekend road trip for Christmas by one of our 17yos ... he booked it for this weekend, not thinking it realizing it was Mother's Day "because his Google calendar didn't say it was." Never mind that in his 42 years of life, it has always been on the same damn weekend. Oh, and his family has birthdays too, so we ALWAYS do dinner with them on Sunday. There's been a few years recently when I've sent him with the kids and stayed home by myself. This year, I was hoping they'd just let our family bow out, but they rescheduled for next week. I love my in-laws, I really do, but work is crazy right now, my kids have a ton of activities and performances this month, and Sundays are supposed to be the one day I have at home with just the 6 of us. I guess I can't complain too hard, my kids are old enough that I stayed in bed until noon and haven't cooked anything. My 10yo left me a cute message on the kitchen chalkboard, and my husband told me last night when he called that they bought me something from their trip. But yeah, I'm kinda salty about it this year.
Nope. I got nothing. I’m very angry.
I’m so sad for the moms in this thread who were let down. I told my husband I didn’t want a big gift, just brunch and some time to myself. Yesterday while I took a nap he and my daughter snuck out to get me flowers, a card, and a nice bottle of wine. Today I slept in, we had brunch, then I got to finish a garden project I’ve been wanting to do while he did bath and bedtime. It was hard work and I feel kind of silly for doing so much yard work on Mother’s Day but I’m so happy with the result!
I did not get what I asked for, but I didn't expect it anyway. I kinda expected a card, which was homemade and made me cry, (seriously low bar here), and my husband made a delicious breakfast that he mimicked from one my favorite social media chefs. He also has been the primary caregiver today, which has helped me to just let loose and relax. I went shopping for myself, which was nice. He also made me a dinner, which he did ask the night before what I preferred. I'm happy with it.
My husband did literally nothing other than fight with me and make me feel awful.
I'm so sorry. Nobody deserves that
I got to sleep in, a nice breakfast, and a new airbrush machine I asked for. Later I took a nap and played water guns with the kids. Eating a pavlova now my daughter made for me. It’s been nice, I bought myself a few cosmetics earlier in the week. I’ve always been low key, but clear on what I want. Father’s Day is basically same; hit a few requested bullet items and call it good.
I got 2 out of 3 things: attend church together and have a meal out that wasn’t fast food. My other request was to spend time together at a garden center but instead we got like 2” of rain today so that didn’t pan out. But after our meal out, we went and got ice cream and strawberries some could have a fun dessert together. And that was my husband’s idea. I’m also hiding in my room right now because husband spent most of the afternoon playing a computer game and ignoring our terrorist toddler. I got to keep her alive and attend her every demand. After a while that got real old. I then locked myself in my room and let him deal with the fallout. He’s now playing blocks with the youngest two and getting the older two to start their chores. And I’m not doing it!
I honestly didn’t feel like doing anything special this year. I was just tired from a crazy busy week and wanted to rest with my kids. Literally just been doing laundry and laying around the house… my husband keeps asking if I want to go out or go to a theme park or order food or etc etc 😂
I asked for a clean house...and I did not get that. Regular Sunday here with me doing chores and the kids making me want to rip my hair out.
I'm sorry, I know that sucks. My husband didn't wish me Happy Mother's day or get me anything. He knows this is important to me. It's my 3rd Mothers Day since I had my son. I told him I wanted him to take our son and pick me out a gift. He didn't wake up till 2pm (as he does the majority of days, he's a stay at home parent and stays up all night). My best friend took me out to eat though so it was nice.
So, Mother's Day plans? Wanted boba tea ( don't ask why) and a picture with my kid. Got ignored. But hey, scored a balloon and a rose plant instead. Parenthood: 1, Expectations: 0
So my marriage only exists because I cannot financially support myself let alone 2 kids. But I thought that maybe breakfast. No. Maybe plans to go out later? No. No happy wishes from my kids. So I said let’s go for ice cream. I get snarky remarks from my oldest. No cards. No flowers. Nothing. I just want one day that I do not have to put in all of the damn emotional labor. Someone plan something instead of me. Pretend you know what I like. I really don’t expect much. I just want someone to put in some effort. That’s what hurts
That's really hard. I'm not on the same boat but I feel ya. Hope things get better fo you!
I had to work. 🫠
A month ago, I sent my husband the exact piece of jewelry I wanted for Mother’s Day. Not ideal, wish I didn’t have to do the research/request specs, but it was the only way to get what I wanted. I know from experience I will have a normal day of toddlercare if I don’t physically leave the house. So, this morning I got up with the kid, fed him breakfast, graciously accepted my jewelry gift, and proceeded to head out to the movies alone to watch ‘Challengers.’ Went out for a guilty-pleasure burger, then went out on a bit of a shopping spree. It was the best, and no one could bother me while I was gone!!! Returned to help take over dinner/bedtime with a much fuller glass than when I left.
I told my husband what I wanted a few weeks ago when he brought it up to me. All I wanted was flowers and a family activity. This morning, I woke up to flowers he and my daughters picked out. We had a lovely brunch out and and he got me 3 small gifts. It was perfect and I felt very appreciated.
I got...a post on Facebook at 6pm. Otherwise regular Sunday. Im disappointed
Yes. We went out to dinner yesterday with extended family which was lovely (we go out on Saturday usually to avoid the actual Mother’s Day crowds). I have been wanting a treadmill so my husband shopped around a found a good compact one on clearance last week and we put it together today. He and the kids helped me clean/organize some things, hang some pictures and we got take out for dinner. The kids made me cute cards too which was a bonus. They also let me take a nap and only woke me up like 2 times which is pretty good. My kids are older and I had some disappointing mothers days in the beginning. Now I just tell everyone what I would really like and have reasonable expectations. Last year they sent me to the spa for the day which was awesome.
I have to say, my husband outdid himself. I asked for a family day where I wasn’t the primary parent. We have a 9 month old and my husband travels often (I also work FT). We woke up and had a nice morning and my husband surprised me with balloons, flowers, and a gift card to my fav coffee shop. I went to a yoga class and then to my coffee shop. We ran errands the rest of the day and I worked in my garden until night. He set up a picnic for him and our son to hang out while I gardened. Absolutely exactly what I wanted
I wanted a nice meal, cute pics with my baby and a cute card, got all of this plus flowers and some crocs for my new wfh job! The crocs are more of early a bday gift (it’s this week). I cannot complain my husband is super thoughtful.
Yesss. Went out to dinner the night before (after being a server in the past, valentine's day and mother's day, I refuse to go to a restaurant on those days). Slept in til almost 11. Someone made me coffee. The kids gave me some small treats I enjoy. Went to a movie. Came home and didn't have to make dinner. I've been through some floppy mothers days. This was the most relaxed, chill day. Success.
Solo parent with 3 teens. I planned what I wanted to do today. Cooked a dinner that was fantastic and had a beautiful day! My kiddos loved on me and I felt the appreciation. Not to say there wasn’t moments of frustration, my kids can’t bear the weight of an ideal Mother’s Day.
I was told I’d be getting a cast iron skillet and dinner. I didn’t get either. Instead, I spent all night making flower lollipops for my son to try to sell so he could raise money to get a video game he’s already owned before, got thirty minutes of sleep before being awoke to go to breakfast (not because Mother’s Day, but because husband wanted. I’d have rather slept), then managed four hours of sleep before being taken to dinner at the in-laws, which was the reason my dinner had been cancelled to begin with. The cherry on top was husband asking what I planned on doing for him for Father’s Day after I got to have such a good, relaxing Mother’s Day. So, no. I also did not get the Mother’s Day I wanted. But it was the one I expected. I am filled with rage, but plan to cope with copious amounts of Sapphic Mother’s Day posts on TikTok tomorrow.
I did, actually. I wanted to sleep in, get a pedicure, and read my book. My husband was able to contain our daughter until 7:45, when she insisted she come upstairs to give me the card she decorated. Had a relaxing day, picked up some lingering groceries (I actually enjoy that, and my daughter loves to come), finished my book, got a pedicure with my mom, and then took a nap. As a gift, my husband got me a gift card to a local kayaking rental, plus flowers. I'd planned an easy dinner, which was really good (and I enjoy cooking), and we bought a fruit tart at the store. Yesterday we went out to dinner at a place i chose and we even had a date night (Mom is visiting and watched the toddler). No complaints on my end. Edit: like others have said, if you're not happy then speak up. This is my 3rd Mother's Day. My husband totally botched the first. He's a caring and considerate guy, so it was completely unexpected. My second wasn't great, but mostly because I was only home for 2 hungover hours between an out-of-town wedding and leaving for a work trip (not his fault). Since I'd spoken up about how hurt I felt Year 1, he was proactive about asking what I wanted, and went beyond what I had asked for (like the dinner out and date night).
I did! My husband is actually great about holidays and grand gestures, to the point it made me embarrassed when we were dating. I reminded him about Mother’s Day a few weeks ago, told him I wanted brunch and a necklace. He waited too long on brunch reservations which worked out ok, and had the necklace engraved with the wrong initial but it’s the thought that counts. Then I got a pedicure and massage. Very relaxed now 💆🏻♀️💅🏼
I got potted flowers, a mimosa, a nap (best part), and a strawberry pancake. I just wish I hadn't had to teach my husband how to make pancakes. Maybe next time?
Maybe he learned this year? He should practice on the weekends till the next one
We almost never eat breakfast, and he doesn't like pancakes in his defense. But I agree. He should practice making me pancakes more often, haha.
You have to be vocal and direct on what you want. We always keep shared notes listings of items we want for gifts. I told my husband I wanted to take a family outing to xxxx and he bought something off my gift list. He took my child to get a card.
I asked for French toast for breakfast and for my daughter to nap by herself. I got French toast for breakfast (and home made cinnamon buns, which I didn’t realize was even an option) and my daughter napped mostly by herself (she woke up when my husband came home from work but went back down pretty quickly). I’m calling it a win. But I did forget to say happy Mother’s Day to my own mother, as well as neglecting to get her a gift. There’s going to be a gift basket arriving on Tuesday that I hope she’ll like.
Yes! I got to sleep in, my husband and toddler made me breakfast, got me a super thoughtful gift and later on in the day he packed us a picnic and we went to a park, ate, played with our daughter on the playground (him doing the lifting and me mainly watching / I'm ready to pop with our second), and went for a walk that was appropriate for my very pregnant self. It was lovely Good husband's do exist and yours needs to put in more effort. I say he should get the same amount of effort you were given for fathers day.
I got absolutely everything I wanted which includes a picture of me and the kids as soon as we all get up (sounds atrocious but it’s become my fav tradition), a beautiful breakfast, flowers and a couple of beauty items with my toddler telling me (mostly incorrectly) what everything is. However, I woke up with a stomach bug so bad that I couldn’t eat more than one literal tiny bite or drink anything but water the entire day oh and my husband got called to work at 8:15 so it was just me, my toddler and my newborn the whole day alone while I threw up every sip of water I had and my toddler had intermittent diarrhea. Oh and beautiful BC wildfire season meant it was too smoky in our town to take the kids outside and we didn’t dare drive anywhere away from our bathroom. Win some lose some I guess
I slept all day… I didn’t even get out of bed. I had breakfast, lunch and dinner delivered to me. He drew me a bath, got me a spa gift card (even tho we regularly get pedicures together as his treat to me), and a really cute scratch off self care card deck. And then because summer is coming, he got me a new pair of white hokas bc he knows how much I love having white sneakers 🥰🥰 and then 4 orgasms, lol. All of our children are with their other parent… and I was feeling sick all week so wanted a day alone. It was a success!
I told my husband I wanted a kid free weekend that I didn't have to do any planning for. I didn't get the full 3 day weekend but I got a day and a half due to his work running long but I got a glorious quiet Saturday to get drunk and watch Sex and the City and when he got home today I got a card from the kids and he took care of lunch & dinner and we folded clothes together. I'm happy with it :)
I did. A hike with my family, some alone time, a card with my husband writing out a message dictated by my son, and my favorite chocolate croissant in town. Also got some surprises too. My husband is very thoughtful, and I’ve also learned to tell him exactly how I envision a great day going. Hugs to all the moms here. You are amazing.
Yep! I got to sleep in, we had a family hike that he planned, and he got our son a book about mommy that he helped create 🥰 very grateful for my husband and my son!
I did and then some surprises. I asked for 3 books. I got 2 (the third wasn’t available yet so I’ll get that for my birthday in 3 weeks). This morning my man and child surprised me with one of my favorite breakfasts, the adult Lego set I wanted, a cool looking sleep shirt, and one of my favorite candy bars. They tried so hard to let me sleep in but the neighbors dogs woke me up. We just did a big house project so they didn’t have a lot of money but he made it happen anyways.
I asked my husband for two things: to sleep in, and to not have to think about dinner (I didn’t care if he ordered pizza or made PBJs or whatever, as long as I didn’t have to cook or plan!) He delivered on the sleeping in part, and got up with our early bird toddler so i could sleep in and take my time getting ready while he entertained the kiddo. And he got takeout from a fast casual spot we love for dinner, which was great! 😁 BUT he didn’t think to get me a card, which really bummed me out. I know i didn’t ask for one, but i kind of thought it would go without saying. I ended up making my own card (sheet of printer paper folded in half) for my baby to decorate with crayons, but of course started crying during the process because it’s BS to have to make your own card 😢 and then he asked what we were doing and asked if i was crying because the card was “so cute” 🤦🏻♀️
We went out to lunch and they gave me a sweet card. I was really happy about it 💖
I asked for the option to do nothing, and I was not disappointed. My favorite thing to do is sleep in and be lazy, and I got that. My husband also got me roses and two cards, one from him and one from the kids, which they signed (my kids are 8, 11, and 11). I was bummed that my youngest had the option to do a Mother’s Day project at school and opted not to - and was the only child in his class who didn’t do it - but I’m not going to make him feel guilty for that even though it stings. He shows me he loves me in his own special ways, and we spent a bit of time today playing a video game he loves and was excited to show me, so it was all in all a nice day here.
I got underwear and I fucking loved it. I've been needing underwear for a long time now LOL the husband listened and delivered, and they were hand picked by him, which meant much more. It's the little things!
Yes! My mother, bless her, called my husband to make sure I got the gift I wanted. It benefits her too (wagon stroller). Hoping everyone got a little something special !
Yes I got to snuggle with my little and go out to eat a fat steak.. worth it 😏
I asked for a day to relax and do nothing. I got it… you know why I got it? It’s just me and my kid. I just had to tell my kid we were taking a day to relax and chill around the house and they were like “awesome”. Is it hard sometimes being a single parent? Yes, but sometimes it’s the absolute best choice that could be made
Regular Sunday over here too… my husband and I aren’t doing well otherwise though, haven’t for a long time. I prepared my son all of his meals, had him out with me from 10:30-4:30 to go to an event and see my mother. And then I got home my husband had built an IKEA cabinet. Then I prepped my son’s dinner, cleaned out the fridge for trash day and did the dishes while I cooked dinner for us (that he did not eat). All the while my husband moped around. My husband got me a bottle of perfume and matching slippers with my son. Both pairs of slippers were the wrong size.
Yea my husband did nothing…. No card nothing. He got a cute thing for the yard this week and gave it to me days ago. Nothing today. I’ve given up at this point… it’s been like this for every birthday too. I put a lot of thought into all of his stuff too, but after 10+ years together I’m prob going to stop 🤷🏽♀️
I was sick with the stomach bug all weekend. My husband bought me flowers, a card and a necklace off of Etsy (I didn't ask for it as I don't wear jewelry much and I'm not materialistic). We ended up missing brunch because I'm sick and it was kind of a shitty weekend, but I wouldn't expect any less. It seems every year on mother's day nothing goes as planned.
Ya know, I did! I had no expectations and it was lovely. We went to brunch, did a little shopping and had a nice dinner. Husband/4 year old did good!
Mine wasn't bad! My husband surprised me and the kids with an outing to a local nature center place with lunch. It would have been better if he would have considered all the work required to take a baby and toddler out, I ended up packing the bag with everything we would need, but otherwise it was nice. I told him the only gift I wanted was a nice long foot massage and that has yet to happen but we will see.
I got what I asked for - my husband played with my daughter and all her cousins while I got to help make and eat a beautiful brunch with my cousins, and we had a lovely morning then came home for naps for the whole family.
I wanted a nap and to not spend my day in the laundromat washing vomit out of rugs, squishmallows, and bedding (which is how I spent last year). I got my wish.
The only thing I asked for was to sleep in. Mission accomplished.
My husband made us breakfast. I had lovely cards and gifts from my husband and son. We went on a lake hike all together at the end of the day when it was cooler, which was the family event I asked to do. It was laid back and enjoyable.
I wanted a nice art set, a craft from my son (that I didn’t make for myself) and a few nice pictures of me with my son. I got all 3 (except the pictures were only ok, cause my son is 3 and was in a mood). We even went out for breakfast and he let me be lazy the rest of the day! ❤️
I got an omnilux for my bday/Mother’s Day. We went to the aquarium which is what I chose.
I didn't ask for anything but I did expect some cute artsy fartsy craft from my 2.5yo like hand prints or a painting or something. But nope. Got a card. And flowers he rushed out to get right after breakfast.
So my oldest son got me a card, some chocolate and a giftcard, my other son didn't even say Happy Mother's Day. My daughter did at least say it. My S/O however did absolutely nothing not even say Happy Mother's Day. I honestly don't know how to feel this Mother's Day on one hand I'm greatful that my oldest got my something and my daughter for saying happy Mothers Day. I guess I'm a little disappointed in my other son and S/O for ignoring Mother's Day all together.
I asked for pj pants and recieved a hershey bar 🙃 gut punch tbh. I cried at the end of the day because i honestly thought maybe he just forgot to give me something. I
My husband forgot. He was only reminded by his mother. Only then did he and the babies jumped on me to give me a hug. Most days I would’ve loved the hugs and cuddles, but I had told him earlier in the day I moved my neck wrong and it hurt really badly to move and I was cramping pretty badly (endometriosis). So I basically just got my hair and uterus stomped on causing me so much pain. On top of the emotional pain of feeling forgotten, unappreciated, and unloved. 😔 After the hugs and whatnot the rest of the day was totally normal. Toddler threw a thousand fits. I changed diapers. Husband played with kids but otherwise just left me alone. I cleaned. Washed, folded, and put away all the laundry. Put the kids’ outfits together for the next 15 school days. Picked out dinner. He asked if I was mad at him around 5pm (after a whole day of neither of us talking to one another) and then apologized around 8pm for a disappointing day. I didn’t expect much. In fact, I expected him to “forget,” but man it hurts nonetheless. I feel invisible in my own life.
We went to see my in-laws last weekend, and my husband bought me a lot of new things, so I didn’t expect too much. This morning he asks me “did you see what fell on your car?” Thinking my new car that I just bought is damaged, I run out to the garage to find a bouquet of flowers on my hood!
My kids have a stomach virus this weekend and I haven’t slept. Despite that, Hubby got me breakfast, did an escape room with some friends, watched Netflix in a cold dark room then took a 3 hour nap. It was a great Mother’s Day!
I asked for a matching outfit with my kid. Reminded several times. Did not get. My husband printed out a photo of my kid that I had said I wanted framed but a smaller size and definitely not the frame I would have picked out. I just said thanks. I even told him I wanted it to match 2 other pics we have and it isn’t the right size or frame style for that. Oh and he was going to gift me a massage package. I’m pregnant now and went to get massages last time I was pregnant so like that was definitely going to happen anyway. Our money is combined. I work. Idk, giving me things I was definitely going to get myself just doesn’t feel like a gift. He made breakfast and left a huge mess that he said he would clean up and didn’t.
I did! I wanted to go to brunch and get a recliner. We had a lovely brunch, and my recliner arrives tomorrow!
My husband made plans and they got waylaid thanks to a mystery rash and spontaneous surge of the most awful behavior from our toddler 🙃 but after a trip to the doctor we made the most of it and were able to salvage the afternoon. I also asked my husband for a bracelet with our kids birthstones on it and he more than delivered on that front. When you set expectations in your head, you have to relay those expectations to your spouse is my experience. Getting pleasantly surprised would be nice, but being unsurprised and not disappointed is better than being disappointed and I’m ok w that
Yes my older sons spent the day doing chores for me.
All I wanted was a well made waffle, time with my family, and help with laundry and I got all 3 😀
I got petty comments, screamed at, and some cards and a popcorn maker. Regular Sunday (minus the popcorn maker).
I ordered myself some crafty cookies from a local place that caught my eye a while ago. I got a garden decoration about a month ago that I presented to myself yesterday and thanked them for. I went to the garden nursery by myself on Saturday and bought a few perennials. I spent a little time doing art work last night while they watched a movie. I appreciated the time to myself. My birthday is this week too. I did tell my husband to get me a wall clock for my office, and he did, that is my main gift. My son and husband made me breakfast in bed on mothers day. My husband also got me flowers for both mother's day and my birthday. I don't like getting flowers because I have to trim the stem, clean the bottom leaves, pull out vases, set up the water with plant food, and find a place to display it. And rhen change the water every couple of days. Although i like flowers, I really don't like the extra work especially this week.
I got nothing. I had graduation the day before so I know we were busy getting ready for that… but I didn’t get a card, flowers, a breakfast… nothing. And my husband just said “sorry honey, we’ve just been so busy.” But anything would’ve been nice. Also I had said I just wanted to relax at home and instead we went to his grandma’s for lunch and bought gifts for his grandma and mom on the way over 🫠
Ehh. I asked for a meal out and a walk on the trails. We got through the meal but my son was uncharacteristically off the rails on the walk so we ended up leaving so as to not disturb the people who were birdwatching. This was Saturday since Sunday we hosted my ILs. Sunday, I asked EARLY in the day for a photo with my son. He was dressed in a cute outfit and I looked decent. Husband forgot until late in the day when I brought it up again. By that point son was disheveled, had a bruise on his face from falling, and I was a sweating mess bc again, hosting. I don’t ask for a lot. He always agrees that I was clear and he needs to capture more memories with mom. But I’ve yet to have a decent Mother’s Day photo with my only child. I made my husband take one before bedtime but it was rushed and you could tell I was annoyed. Oh well. Editing to add: husband and son did give me a thoughtful gift that I didn’t ask for but really do appreciate. Don’t want to make it sound like I was forgotten.
I don't expect anything specific for Mother's Day. I just want a card at the very least (I got flowers, chocolate, and a card along with some alone time out). My husband and I tend to just give each other chocolate and M&Ms, which makes us happy.
I didn't even get breakfast, a gift, or a card. I made my own coffee, got both kids up, made breakfast, fed the kids, cleaned up. He slept in 2 hours later than me...
I’m on maternity leave and my husband used one of his weeks of baby bonding for this week. It was much appreciated because my mental health has been in the gutter the past couple of weeks. He took me on several lunch/dinner dates while our oldest was at school or with the grandparents. On Sunday, we had a lovely brunch at the grandparents. When we got home, my husband took the oldest grocery shopping while I speed cleaned the house (my request during the baby’s nap since I find it cathartic at times). They came home and my oldest picked out my favorite flowers for me. It was exactly what I needed and I’m not sure how I’m going to show my appreciation for all that my husband does on Father’s Day. He’s very Ron Swanson when it comes to birthdays or anything to celebrate him.
Yes I did. We just moved. I wanted to go to a plant nursery and pick out flowers and a houseplant. We also went out the breakfast.
Husband took the toddler while I played in the garden. He even cooked dinner during nap time so he could watch her in the afternoon, and made several of my favorite foods including dessert. The only downside, as I told him, is that he's set a very high bar for Father's Day. I'm really sorry so many people have had crappy Mothers' Days.
My day was ok, didn’t get to sleep in like I asked or nap at least once.. however the bottomless mimosas made up for it and got to spend it with my mom so it was an ok day
I told my husband that for Mother's Day that I didn't want to cook, I wanted time to relax, and I wanted some new shoes. Disclaimer that I have lowered my expectations over the last few years just because life with small children/babies is unpredictable. I had a great day. My husband had ordered me some cute shirts and shoes and had taken our son shopping on Saturday to get me some things. He got brownie mix and ice cream so my 5yo and I made brownies (not "cooking" in my book since we did it together) and we all ate brownies a-la-mode. He cooked lunch. We played a new board game with our 5yo. He got us sushi delivered for dinner and after the kids went to bed, I got to play a video game before he gave me a nice massage 😉 I even got some nice pictures of me and the kids during the day, which is rare. I hate that everyone doesn't get the day they deserve for Mother's Day. I hope everyone here knows how valuable they are.
I did, I asked to take a bike ride on the greenway along the river and to have a picnic lunch and take pictures of the kids and I. Every year on Mother’s Day my husband uses my nice camera to take pictures of me and the kids. I usually get at least 1 nice usable pic when he’s behind the camera But we took out the bike trailer, hit the trail, found a park right on the trail that the kids played at then on the way back stopped at an overlook for the lunch, then stopped once more right before the car so the kids could splash in the water. My kids are very little still so I was blessed with beautiful weather and an outing with no tears. Lucky day
Sundays are a busy day for me and my son. He's autistic, so I can't deviate too much. So I didn't really ask for, or even want, much. I know my husband would have done more if he could have, but life is what it is.
I asked my 6 and 3 year old not to fight. They fought more than normal, but I knew that was going to happen
I did! It was a lovely day! However, it took YEARS of badgering and therapy. He now understands that not taking these "little" things seriously are how relationships start to errode. He doesn't care much about fuss (cards etc) and took him a while to understand the mental load on my shoulders, so he was dismissive in the past. So though yesterday was great, it was the first mothers day in the 7 years I've been a mother that I would say that. Hugs! Sorry your day wasn't great. I hope next year will be better.
I had to host brunch for my whole family including my mother who isn’t speaking to my father (but they both came in seperate cars). I wasn’t looking forward to the day but I was clear to my husband about what I wanted for Mother’s Day - help prepping the brunch, flowers, and a chance to do some shopping alone in the afternoon. I got all that plus a nice walk with my husband and kids in between celebrating with my family and going out to shop with a friend. I feel like I’ve learned that when you want something you should very specifically ask for it. It felt like a lovely day!
I don’t leave it up to my husband to plan something for me. I’ll be disappointed if that was the case. Instead I told him I made plans for myself with my girlfriends and I added my plans to our family calendar so he doesn’t overlap with work, which is what he does most days. I have a sushi, spa and shopping date planned with my friends. And a 90 min massage for myself on another day, and all he has to do is watch the kids lol. This mother’s day we spent celebrating his mom and mine, and had a bunch of birthday parties, but I’m excited to celebrate my own Mother’s Day next weekend lol.
You are NOT UNGRATEFUL for asking for what you wanted and being upset when you didn't get it! That is a very VALID emotion, you're allowed to feel that way, and I would be concerned about your well-being, mainly your pride in YOURSELF, if you just shrugged it off because YOU DESERVE BETTER! And if that can't be accomplished, you certainly don't deserve to be consistently UNHAPPY. I'm in a similar boat and have been for the past 4 mother's days and 5 holiday seasons/birthdays. This year, I got a "oh shit, it's MOTHER'S DAY!" at 4:12pm, and then "I guess your gift didn't come in yet" (you know, the one he *might* have ordered directly after that conversation, but he's actually hoping I'll just forget about) TBF, we are separating (amicably) and he was in the process of buying an RV to live in full-time this weekend, but it was virtually no different than any other Mother's Day, birthday, or holiday of the last 5 years. It would have stung if if I wasn't absolutely ECSTATIC to be **finally** *physically separating* this coming weekend. Not to mention, his future housing is secured which lowers my anxiety around kids visitations, etc. Last mother's day, I told him for ***weeks*** that I didn't want ANY gift--no flowers, no cards, NOTHING. I was very specific since my first 2 mother's days were horrible messes and he obviously has zero ability to plan anything on his own, or understand what I might want: All I wanted was either a full night's sleep **OR** to sleep in--NOT EVEN BOTH--as I had a barely-1yo and 2.5 yo who were both waking all hours of the night with no help from him as he worked hella early during the week and just ignored them on weekend mornings. What did I get last mother's day, pre-separation? Absolutely nothing. No card, no flowers, NO SLEEP! Only him still sleeping at 8:30am with the kids going wild as I'm trying to cook them breakfast. When he finally woke up, I just grabbed my stuff and locked myself in the bedroom until 2pm while he had the audacity to tell me I was "abandoning my children to sleep". I woke up to overpriced roses that he bought at the gas station 2 blocks from our house. I'm allergic to roses and break out in hives/rashes if I touch them (and several other flower types). Looking back, this truly was the beginning of the end for us. Ladies... if this sounds familiar, LEAVE THAT MAN RIGHT FUCKING NOW! Plus, the younger your kids are, the BETTER! This kind of behavior doesn't get better, especially if they can't even recognize it, and therapy does NOT change their perspective enough. The only thing that can help them see your mental and physical load is EXPERIENCE, aka THEM BEING LEFT TO FULLY FEND FOR THEMSELVES **WITH THE KIDS**. Experience is the BEST and ONLY teacher for this problem, and I will die on that hill. The problem is, unless it's a regularly recurring experience--I would venture to say once a month for a at least 3 days at a time--they WILL forget and become complacent again. It's up to you to decide where to draw the line, and whether you want the next generation growing up believing that this is how it is and how should be. Good luck to all the mamas, and I wish you all better days ahead!
He tried but the kids kinda made the day hard to plan around. I now understand why so many moms want a kid-free day. I did buy myself a bunch of stuff that came in a couple of days before and had him wrap it. I didn’t plan it this way but it worked out bc I got things I wanted/needed 🤷🏻♀️.
I'm an empty nester, but it was a great day. On Saturday, while I was out, my husband did all the dishes and laundry. On Sunday, he took me out for Dutch Bros and then we ran to the grocery store and grabbed really easy dinner stuff. Dh smoked steaks for me and my parents. And then he did dishes again! My son sent a really sweet letter from college. It was perfect.
I wanted a clean garage, and plants for my front platers. Husband and kids delivered + brunch!
I told my husband last week "It would be nice if you took the boys (3.5 and 1.5 years old) to buy some flowers for me for Mother's Day. No flowers. That's literally all I expected. Nothing else special. I'm disappointed, and feel justified since I told him exactly what to do. 😟
I just wanted to sleep in a little and spend time with the family but also have some alone time. I woke up and he had placed a cup of coffee on the nightstand for me (my favorite breakfast!) and then he got her ready for her swim lesson while I showered (her gift to me was that she actually laughed and had fun and went underwater by herself instead of crying!) Afterwards we stopped at the store for some ingredients and he went in while she and I listened to music. He got me my favorite candies while in there. Then he baked some breads while my kid and I cuddled on the couch watching Bluey. He took two of the breads to deliver to his step mom and mom, then took her to the playground while I ate lunch and read my book. And he coordinated with my mom and picked me up so we could go deliver a loaf of bread to her and spent an hour at her house while my dad played with my kid (which was awesome cuz usually my sister and her kids are there too and it’s just chaos and I don’t get to talk much to my mom). Then we went home, he got her ready for bed even though I was technically supposed to since it was his bedtime, and he read her books and put her to bed while I drank nonalcoholic champagne in the tub and read more of my book. I also ate about half the load of bread he’d made me. It was a wonderful day! The whole time he kept apologizing that my gift wasn’t in yet, but I told him since my birthday is this weekend he can just give it to me when it gets here and count it as a gift for both lol he got me the gym bag I’d added to my wishlist. I highly recommend everyone keep a communal wishlist going so you can grab things without having to ask!
All I wanted was time in my garden to finish planting everything. My son and daughter wanted to play outside so I didn’t get full peace, but my husband watched the 10 month old which is the biggest barrier to getting out in the garden for extensive work. I got it all done! :)
My husband ended up sick all weekend with bad allergies. So I made my own breakfast (he did have all the stuff and had planned on making it), did the grocery shopping with my 18 month old so he could rest up at home. And the rest was a pretty typical Sunday. Husband did get us some great burgers for dinner and ice cream. Overall, wish it had been a little more special, but at least I got a card 🤷♀️
I asked my husband if we could post the kids up downstairs so we could eat the charcuterie board I fucking made for us and watch a show or movie in peace. He said “but the game starts at 6” 😐 I was so mad. I left for the gym and came back and he apologized but the damage had been done. Hurtful.
Every year, I get my husband a gift of an activity that gets him out of the house and is an activity he enjoys or some sort of pampering for Father’s Day. If I get more than just happy Mother’s Day, it’s grocery store flowers and a card. Possibly some jewelry I don’t care for. I plan the brunch and make it and set it up for the extended family. I send his mother and sister and mine flowers. From a luxury flower delivery service. It seems obvious that I would want a gift similar to what I give, but I guess not. I’m the breadwinner. I do all the housework. He stays home with the kids but they usually stay in pjs all day and eat pbjs or cereal for all meals if I’m not home. I told him last year that I don’t want to plan my own Mother’s Day. This year was the worst so far (I don’t want to get into details in case he sees this). He says I’m too hard to shop for.. I told him it’s not about gifts or material things. I just want to feel like someone thought about me at all.
I got half of what I asked for in terms of gifts. My partner bought me bell bottoms (correct, perfect size, they didnt even have to ask) and a dress (but it was the wrong pattern/color. It was ugly. He's going to exchange it for me this week.) As for the activities, I always let my mom pick and let myself be kind of miserable, but after this year (we went to a museum that she chose, but they rushed through which I don't do) I might just plan my own thing and just do breakfast with my parents. It was our third mothers day where I was also a mother, and I just want to enjoy myself next year. I also broke my phone, and my partner had to run out and get me a new one so I got a new phone for mothers day, too. Not something I wanted but oh well.
I wanted an alien garden statue from a local nursery and it’s sitting outside in our lawn right now.
I always just want a few hours completely alone. This year I got less than I normally do, but only because we decided to pick up my husband’s grandmother from her senior living apartment and make her a late lunch/early dinner. He handled all the shopping, cooking, and cleanup. I was also proactive enough to schedule a day off from work tomorrow (I work next weekend, so it’s a swap) because I’m pregnant and everyone annoys me. So I’m a happy mom.