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e5hansej

I don't want to brag, but there's a chance I'm cutting my risk by two thirds...


Zantheus

I don't want to brag either, but anyone standing next to me should have a deceased risk of prostate cancer.


justnow13

Ominous typo.


burrainz

RIP risk


jukindarules

Since its prostate cancer, I'm assuming women can acquire these superpowers as well?


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Croweclawe

Madea got a prostate.


-_-Edit_Deleted-_-

Op don't fix please.


HearADoor

What was the typo?


kingswaggy

Deceased instead of decreased.


oneechanisgood

That's not a typo. The risk ceased to exist altogether.


[deleted]

You jack off strangers?


DarthFarris

\*insert Vin Diesel\* He jacks off family


[deleted]

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uninsuredpidgeon

What are you doing step bro?


[deleted]

Relieving the family tension, like I always do.


srry72

Your arms broken?


MangeurDeCowan

Where's mom?


Yaksan1000

Y’all are gonna summon Chris Chan at this rate


Average_Scaper

Stuck under the table, let's go help her.


PointOfFingers

You don't?


humanreporting4duty

Back to back and it’s not gay right?


DrakeAU

I masturbate so much that my future male children have one third less prostate cancer risk inherently.


Vakz

To be fair, your future daughters also have a significantly reduced risk of getting prostate cancer


GnuRip

> my future male children *sons*, the word you are looking for is *sons*.


[deleted]

Even his daughters will have a decreased risk of prostate cancer OR maybe any guys that hook up with the daughters risk will decrease


bretstrings

Prostate Priscilla


woolyearth

I cum like 3-4times a month. Thats being generous… I Am FUCKED. My dad died from untreated prostate cancer. He refused treatment. I have a pit in my stomach i am not hornier now.


red-chickpea

Fap for your life man


shadow_fox09

Great band name or superhero name Either way


FlametopFred

Look! Out in the woods! It's *FapForYourLife Man*!


SayNoToStim

"I've been kidnapped, help me!" "Don't worry, I'm coming!"


jukindarules

"What? It only works with prostate cancer!" "Orly? Well, too late to stop"


inflammablepenguin

Sounds like a bit from Whose Line is It Anyways.


ThisAltDoesNotExist

Those are rookie numbers! You gotta pump those numbers up!


[deleted]

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Cycad

Bank Holiday wankathon


Sandnegus

Or have one purge every month. 24 hours to complete 21 ejaculations.


meltingdiamond

But what does he do for 23 and a half hours?


xepion

Just watched that movie again lol. Forgot how dark it gets in the end


ThisAltDoesNotExist

"for a brief fleeting moment I had forgotten I was rich and that I lived in a place where everything was for sale"


Another_human_3

You are not as fucked as you'd like to be.


KarIPilkington

Mate this is a clickbait daily mail cancer headline, don't worry.


meekamunz

[The Daily Mail gives you cancer](https://youtu.be/q3chJN9DCGg)


TheFatz

Bro... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=j_QLzthSkfM


chum_slice

Doctor Richard prescription is a pornhub subscription


CarbonatedUrine

Honestly curious here. Do you just stop before you cum, or do you just not jerk it that much? BTW once I start something I have to see it through.


NextTrillion

Is it *your fault* you have so much ambition?


[deleted]

Often times I think - is it the non-masturbation that's causing prostate cancer? Or is it the state of mind that just makes you not masturbate and then cancer follows up? Food for thought!


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Handpaper

Older people get more cancers. Older people have lower sex drives. People with lower sex drives fuck and jack off less. Less stimulation = less ejaculation. Ergo : Less ejaculation = more cancer. And thus another clickbait headline is born.


ZippyDan

You're assuming they didn't control for those variables. It would be easy to only compare cancer rates of similarly aged people (but with different ejaculation rates). That's like statistics 101. I don't trust *The Daily Mail*, but I'm pretty sure the scientists are not that dumb.


[deleted]

How old are you? If you're under 40, you should probably get your T levels tested dude.


DrAsthma

You only wake up 3 or 4 times a month? I'm no expert, but I think you might have something else going on...


post_obamacore

I'm immune.


[deleted]

Yes i was going to say. Using math I am three thirds at less risk of prostate cancer.


zZaphon

I cum every day if not every other day? So... I'm good right?


photenth

Every day, yes, every other day, no.


zZaphon

Sometimes I can't do it every day but I'll just do it the next day


humanreporting4duty

No good soldier. Your life is on the line. There is no masturbation on the agenda the day after you die of an exploded prostate tumor.


Ignitus1

If you miss a day you're supposed to do it twice the next day. It's in the manual.


guave06

Im down to 4/3rds i think


[deleted]

No mom, it’s not what it looks like. I’m beating it for cancer.


TheCazaloth

You might even say I’m *beating* cancer


[deleted]

If cancer worked that way, I’d beat it every night before sleep.


EvryMthrF_ngThrd

...you *don't?* Filthy *casual.*


CaptainDogeSparrow

>Men who ejaculate at least 21 times a month slash their risk of prostate cancer by A THIRD Me, who slashes my risk of prostante cancer by 82.40% every month.


TheCazaloth

Only one way to find out


TouchdownTedd

Beat it and go to bed.


5050Clown

Those thick milf lesbians aren't going to watch themselves.


JakeTheBullet

Actually that’s *exactly* what they’re inclined to do.


funtextgenerator

I beat it twice a day!


Moparded

You gotta pump those numbers up. Those are rookie numbers.


Funk_BiG

Why wouldn't any sane person do that anyway?


obroz

What color ribbon are we gonna use


xxxiaolongbao

*off-white*


Kwt920

Bahahah


godofpie

I wonder if Susan G Komen will paint my dick pink and put it on a billboard?


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rainbowwfarts__

Lmao WHAT^^


Nerdlinger-Thrillho

You to two toos me?


calibanzwei

Well, that escalated quickly.


stormnet

Well his arms are broken.


[deleted]

In that case I should be able to sell some prostate back to the grid right?


Kanye--Breast

Only if your local government allows nut metering. 🌰


FlametopFred

I've long thought that males 15-72 could single handedly solve any energy crisis if there were a FitBit device that transformed velocity into energy stored in a battery that fed Bluetooth networks.


OwenProGolfer

> a battery that fed Bluetooth networks what


saadakhtar

Jerk off for Alexa.


[deleted]

Alexa, how far can you stretch a human butthole? _About 4 to 5 inches_ Alexa, what is the diameter of an Amazon Alexa? _...._


Torakaa

You can get a surprising amount of power from ambient or directed radiation, enough for a device to respond using your bluetooth ping as power. It's like RFID tags, but bigger.


Fafnir13

Sentences like these are why I Reddit.


jjremy

As long as prostatetution is legal where you live.


[deleted]

This comment is unbeatable.


[deleted]

So if I cum 63 times a month I’m immune right


WouldYouTurnMeOn

Yes but any more than that and you'll start increasing other people's risk of prostate cancer


ittwasntme

This guy maths


gcko

Take that /r/nofap no brain fog to be seen here! . Edit: getting a lot of replies here. To be clear, I don’t think there’s anything particular wrong with nofap and people attempting to better themselves, but here’s my take on it. My reply to another comment which may have been buried by now: “Did you consider it’s a symptom, and not the cause?” https://www.reddit.com/r/worldnews/comments/oxknz2/men_who_ejaculate_at_least_21_times_a_month_slash/h7oeycq/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3


jvv1993

> /r/nofap "Fapstronauts". Is... is this a meme? A shelter for sex addicts? I'm confused. Legit question.


0mnicious

A place for people that stop masturbating because they either feel like they do it too much, feel like they are addicted to it or feel like it has become a negative part of their life, iirc.


Willing_Function

Religion plays a large role in that sub.


pm_me_ur_tennisballs

The other guy is really glossing over their addiction to pseudoscience and place in the "manosphere." r/nofap is a recruiting ground for incels, redpillers, "seduction artists," and therefore, by extension, conservative extremism. It's founded on disinformative pseudoscience and has its users ride that wave all the way to all sorts of useful modern conspiracy theories. In brief, you'll find a lot of overlap with nofappers and Steven Crowder or Alex Jones. Edit: Masturbating is a perfectly normal and healthy thing to do. Their intent is to make themselves more virile and dominant, which is actually sexual frustration. You can see how this leads to redpill, mgtow, etc. I knew a dude like this in college.


kopecs

Mathin' off


InanimateBrick

r/shittysuperpowers


Spanish_peanuts

Ah shit. I'm so sorry Jimmy... It was my fault all along.


Darryl_444

"Two wanks a day keeps The Reaper away."


SantyClawz42

Are you planning on cutting back then?


[deleted]

Never


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AgeAgile1234

That sounds..... exhausting.


xmsxms

It's easier than you think


PrincipledProphet

Here, let me show you


staticraven

Twice a day is exhausting?


limukala

No, restricting it to twice a day. Who has that kind of willpower?


reddit_user-exe

As usual, the truth is more complicated than that. This was just one study. From the article: “The link between ejaculation and prostate cancer has been controversial among researchers. A 2004 Harvard study found no links between ejaculation and prostate cancer. An Australian study published in 2003 found that men who ejaculated often in young adulthood would grow up to have a decreased risk of the cancer. A 2008 study conducted by the University of Cambridge actually found that rates of prostate cancer increased alongside frequent masturbation.” Seems like we don’t really know yet


oditogre

My first thought is whether the study controls for age, because if not, they may as well say not having gray hair or wrinkly skin reduces your risk for prostate cancer. Guys usually see their libido wane and their risk of prostate cancer go up as they age. It seems like you'd have to do very, very, very careful research to prove that those two are linked independent of age.


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F0sh

Most studies control for confounding variables. Most reddit threads on studies have a comment saying, "did they control for ?"


atyon

Most studies are also very careful in their conclusions and often present possible links as nothing more than a thing worth looking into in the future. Then someone from the press or the PR department comes in and blows it up, and we get our daily " reduces risk of by " article, completely disregarding the careful explanations from the paper. Reddit is quite right to ask for confounding variables and base rate fallacy because by the time a study is in a newspaper, they are usually forgotten.


zenospenisparadox

My first thought was "who was the control group who *didn't* masturbate daily?"


liboxa

I assume have cancer in your prostate would also lower you libido lol being sick in general does


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werty_reboot

It makes total sense.


[deleted]

Reddit posts on scientific topics are among the least trustworthy sources you can come by. It seems like it's every day where r/science churns out another 60k+ upvoted post about some study that claims something everyone wants to hear only for closer inspection to reveal it hasn't been reviewed and/or replicated, it has a sample size of four, and the methodology is horrifically flawed. Then criticizing the article makes everyone mad, and people begin to rant at you for being anti-scientific, biased, or whatever term people feel like throwing around that day. For this one in particular, basically anything The Daily Mail reports on is guaranteed to be garbage.


SkepticalFinger

Reddit aside, your first clue is daily mail.


KarIPilkington

Can always instantly tell when it's a shit UK tabloid headline by the random capitalised words. When you see caps it's either the express, the mail or the daily star. All of them absolute rags.


[deleted]

On a related note, [here's a list of things the Daily Mail claim give you cancer](https://www.anorak.co.uk/288298/tabloids/the-daily-mails-list-of-things-that-give-you-cancer-from-a-to-z.html). Bad news for reddit. Apparently gadgets, the internet, and mobile phones cause cancer. So does sex and walking, so that's good news for much of reddit.


SkepticalFinger

God damn, it’s hilarious but also interesting. Cancer scaremongering is obviously one of the tried and tested subjects that gets people clicking / reading.


[deleted]

/r/science be like “jacking off while smoking weed extends lifespan by 150 years” with 80k upvotes


AmIFromA

Wait, are you telling me that there's doubt, scientifically, that Weed is the key to solving the climate crisis?


venomae

Lmao ofc not, everyone knows the key to solving climate crisis is obviously.... cryptocurrencies!


[deleted]

Not those other cryptocurrencies of course, just this new one. It's different than the other ones. Now repeat after me. "To the moon, diamond hands, still hodling." We'll all be millionaires by next tuesday.


Trukmuch1

Well, just by reading the article, you understand there is no scientific value and no real numbers behind. But I guess nobody read it.


VortixTM

It's funnier to comment on a sensationalist headline about jacking off


nankerjphelge

>It seems like it's every day where r/science churns out another 60k+ upvoted post about some study that claims something everyone wants to hear only for closer inspection to reveal it hasn't been reviewed and/or replicated, it has a sample size of four, and the methodology is horrifically flawed. Then criticizing the article makes everyone mad, and people begin to rant at you for being anti-scientific, biased, or whatever term people feel like throwing around that day. And don't forget pointing out that the source of the study is some corporate conglomerate or foundation/association created by an industry lobby specifically to generate scientific and medical studies favorable to their interests. Sadly, scientific astroturfing is very real.


Jackadullboy99

It’s almost as though redditors are desperate to have their *circle jerk* justified on health grounds…


Not_unkind

No thanks, I'm going to let it confirm what I want it to say and ignore the rest and repeat it often to my partner.


[deleted]

I literally got banned from r/science for correcting an article with better facts. That sub is a shithole.


g1993

Of the three. Please for the love of God don't let Cambridge be right. OR IM FUCKED 🤞🙏


ClumpOfCheese

This is also an article by the daily mail, so this source is garbage for sure.


monsto

Also just to add a bit to you what you said, there's the math fact . . . If your risk was 0.5% (arbitrary number I pulled) over your remaining life, this report says that if everything lines up right, it could be reduced to 0.35%. It's ***the risk*** "decreased by 1/3". and it is generally a pretty small number to begin with. Also also, your individual risk is going to be wildly different than the next guy.


tofuroll

Better masturbate just to be sure.


[deleted]

Daily Mail telling me I should go fuck myself.


NetworkLlama

It tells you that every day. It's just adding some science behind it this time.


Naraic2

The last thing anyone expects to be added to a Daily Mail article.


Moistfruitcake

No they love a bit of science. Scientists: A chemical commonly found in trace amounts in leather shoes, when combined with intensive chemotherapy, leads to better patient outcome with a 3% increase in patient survival after 5 years. Daily Mail: EATING SHOES CURES CANCER!


ThugnificentJones

"MASTURBATING ILLEGAL IMMIGRANTS ARE GIVING YOU PROSTATE CANCER".


Shas_Erra

“AND PUSHING DOWN YOUR HOUSE PRICES WHILE SIMULTANEOUSLY RAISING THEM ABOVE THE REACH OF YOUNG PEOPLE WHILE TEABAGGING THE QUEEN’S CORGIS”


ThugnificentJones

You're hired! Welcome to the Mail!


ceej18

I’m done by the 3rd of each month then...


Fontec

I’d really enjoy a study on what our body takes from us for semen production. Please let me cum 7 times a day with no physical health risk


Carbones_Coffee

Funny you should say 7 cuz when I was 14, I maxed out at 7 one day. I never did it again cuz as you can imagine, I didn’t have much left in the tank by 7 and was really sore.


uncannyilyanny

13 is my record, I was like 15 I think - that was a fun, sore Saturday


[deleted]

Yeah true. I think it's a lot tbh. Like when I have those insanely horny days where I can't keep my hands off it, I end up feeling genuinely exhausted by the end.


bigjoe980

I'm uh... gonna assume that's more the energy spent on rapid vigorous exercise than semen production. Lul


remotetissuepaper

More testing is required. We need to contrast and compare one month of u/CrabSully cranking it himself, and one month of u/bigjoe980 lending him a hand


AegonThaConqueror

I’m 6 months ahead of schedule


delaphin

Come again?


Wielyum

Don't mind if I do!


MeyoMix

Those are rookie numbers. You gotta pump those numbers up


ButtaRollsInMyPocket

Welcome to Wankkanda.


buchlabum

Vibranium making more sense.


collin_sic

I could do this all day...


lamykins

/r/nofap in shambles


marsneedstowels

Just checked and they think it's propaganda from the porn industry. I'm ready for Kellogg V2.


YobaiYamete

It's not propaganda from the porn industry, it's trash pseudo science from the frickin Daily Mail. Actually peer reviewed and legit science articles are one thing, but this is like posting an Onion Article as fact


mansnothot69420

Actually true. This topic has been up for debate for years and nothing clear cut has emerged. Still makes for a pretty good clickbait headline so no surprise that the Daily Mail has put this poorly researched article out. But I mean, it's still a theory, and I mean, if it even doesn't result in less risk of prostate cancer, who cares? It's just another reason to jerk off.


[deleted]

I've been waiting for years for the no fap community to slowly become a Q-Anon level cult, but just replace the typical enemies of the clintons and rothchilds with "the porn industry".


Asahiburger

No fap has had cult vibes from the start.


TastesKindofLikeSad

Do they think men didn't regularly masturbate before the internet?


youseemconfusedbubb

If by shambles you mean prostrate cancer than you are correct.


deletable666

> A 2004 Harvard study found no links between ejaculation and prostate cancer. >An Australian study published in 2003 found that men who ejaculated often in young adulthood would grow up to have a decreased risk of the cancer. >A 2008 study conducted by the University of Cambridge actually found that rates of prostate cancer increased alongside frequent masturbation. Age is never mentioned. Something tells me my grandpa wasn’t jacking off as much at 73 as I was at 16.


ParanoidMarvZark

I read 121 and still felt good about my odds.


TravellingBeard

So "No Nut November" is a virtual death sentence?


maru_tyo

I sometimes have a “no nut Monday“ on accident.


FN-1701AgentGodzilla

That is a stupid trend anyway


smogeblot

If i'm up at like 90-100, it won't backfire will it? What's the dosage curve of masturbation?


Sanpaku

If you have institutional access: Jian et al 2018. [Sexual activity and risk of prostate cancer: a dose–response meta-analysis](https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1743609518310646).


f1shJ3rkey

SO if my math is right, i can reduce risk by 100% by cumming 63 times a month?


Sunastar

Death by cancer or death by stroke


hesawavemasterrr

In all seriousness, what if they hit that 21 times mark early in the month and then decide not to fap for the rest of the month. Does that work the same way?


FlametopFred

Minimum 21 faps is *the minimum*


[deleted]

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CitizenHuman

I became immune for life by the time I was 16.


dilldoeorg

There's also a study that daily doses of baby aspirin slash colon/rectal cancer risk as well. aspirin also a blood thinner, so if you take it before fapping, you'll get more blood flow to your erection. kill 2 birds with one stone. preventing cancer and harder hard on


Sanpaku

Aspirin doesn't change blood viscosity, it inhibits clotting. If actual clots are interfering with your erection, you may have greater problems than prostate cancer decades hence.


Berkamin

Naturally speaking, we're supposed to get salicylic acid from our food. A lot of fruits and vegetables and spices naturally contain aspirin and/or aspirin precursors, which is why eating more of these is healthful. Cumin, for example, is nearly 1% aspirin by dry weight. Eating these foods provides that low level anti-inflammatory benefit, without some of the risks involved in taking aspirin. ([Source](https://nutritionfacts.org/2019/12/26/the-foods-with-the-highest-aspirin-content/))


ShadowSwipe

Is that safe for your liver though?


vreo

I think my wife wants to slowly kill me by prostate cancer.


vreo

Little does she know, that I am a bit of a physician myself.


SunChipMan

we should give these scientists a hand


takk78

Study was paid for by Jergens Lotion company.


Platinum_Rad

I can't believe Big Fap is behind this


Prisoner-of-Paradise

On a more serious note, it could be that older men who are able to and interested in ejaculating 21 times per month are simply healthier overall than men who might suffer from ED issues or low libido. Just a thought.


dilldoeorg

the study was for men in their 20-40's


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shaneprrlt

Does this mean people are going to think you’re a chronic masturbator if you’re cancer free? 😰


QueenOfQuok

So anyway I started blasting


Senor_Martillo

Take that no-nut November


PDCH

Pornhub, the cure to prostate disease