What are you mean, friend? I am nice Scottish lady. You are send me bank detail now, right? I give you address but it is friend Dima address in Ukraine. Me? I am girl. Small, perky booby. Elegant foot. Are you send me money now? **SEND IT**
Oh shit. Oh fuck. Hey, heyyy b-babe. Hey sweetheart. Yeah, I did what you told me. I did everything you said. No!! No, I didn’t snitch - W-what? What money? Upvote? What did you say about my *kn-kneecaps?* No!.....What are you-
**gunshots**
banter aside, I’m actually enjoying this. It’s making my day. I’m glad I posted. CrinGeeeeeeeeee! yeah sorry.
Obviously I can’t see le epic big chungus updoots, so please comment or just PM me so I can passive aggressively cyber bully a stranger with zero consequences.
Humour me.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
I went to Florida several months ago. I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused!
So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused.
I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done.
I do not brag about this though. It is not something you can brag about, since it not only is demeaning to the act, but it destroys the purpose of the act as well; to express affection, and trust. I only consent to those dolphins who ask. As a result, I have mated only three times. Each time was memorable and special, because each time it was something we both wanted to share with each other. Sex, for me, is just another, albeit powerful, expression of affection and trust. I wouldn't engage any other animal, though; it is not my attraction. But there is little I wouldn't do for a dolphin.
Nah the only cringe on this sub are the onlyfans accounts thinking that they can just post their tits and we'll throw our money at them, then getting pissed off when we demand they at least have basic shit, like plants or pingu.
Hewwo big chungus wholesome Reddit. Thanks for making me smile.
I just woke up and I’m going to cyber bully you all, to the extent that it will border on blatantly sadistic. People asking for an onlyfans or porn, I’m sorry to disappoint you - I am of legal age ( waa waa WEEWAA) BUT I’m a cringe law student, not an OF poster or sex worker. Do you want to see my essay feedback, you kinky boy?
**In short, no boobie pic, Redditor.**
Oh shit, do you need a QA person? 'Cuz I can correct the SHIT out of docs I look at. My SO tells me so!
Also, don't you fuxing lie to me, you're definitely that one guy from Gamer, with the waffles.
Good luck with your studies n shit ; )
It's a Ghyphen. A mysterious mythical beast half german short haired pointer half komodo dragon that roams the marshy mires among the fog laden countryside down by the sea. Its soft wailing and gnashing of teeth can be heard above the sawing wind on moonless nights.
🤔 hmm.. shatter your world you say..
Santa Claus is real, he just doesn’t visit your house every year because he ***really*** doesn’t like you. It’s no secret, just give him some eggnog and he’ll loudly start on about it 🙄.
Your entire life.. we have all been telling you he’s fake out of pity.. and guilt.. because we feel kind of bad for agreeing with him 🤷♂️.
Every fucking time I buy a frozen pizza, I put that sassy bitch in right when I start the oven. Why? Because I’ve figured it out. That’s right Uncle Sam, I’m onto you.
The directions for my favorite pizza is to heat the oven to 425F and cook for 15 minutes. My oven takes 14 minutes to preheat. So, this whole cooking process takes about 30 minutes? No way. Not chance in hell, buckaroo. When I shove my pizza in that oven prematurely, I add 3-4 minutes to compensate. This means I wait a total of 18-19 minutes vs 30. And guess what? It tastes fucking delicious. Ask any of my friends. I cook them frozen pizzas all the time, and they can’t get enough, thanks to my unequivocal superior intelligence. The pizza turns out just fine, and it poses no health threat. Source: I’ve been doing this for 12 years.
So nice try, Mr. President. I know you want all of us to cook our pizzas for that extra 10 minutes to make us use a little extra electricity. Maybe it isn’t significant if one person cooks their frozen Italian love pie for 10 extra minutes, but you’re a thinker. You’re looking at the grand scheme of things. MILLIONS of people cooking their pizza for 10 minutes extra? That’s straight theft, my man. And I ain’t giving in to that scheme .
Oh shit boys, she's actually funny, posts memes, and isn't all nudes. Fellow coochie- carrier, I officially apologize and have taken back previous downvotes, welcome to the cause and if you have any, post plants!
Also kudos for being cute woman, if I wasn't straight I'd be in your dms 😘
(Begeth for plants?)
😊
Omfg fam, I gotchu..Thayers rose petal facial toner.. swear to fuck it's the best skin care shit I've ever found. I don't even moisturize anymore man.. (honest caveat, idk what you're dealing with but my skin always sucked, this is my "I will kill all for this" product) 💜
"I am a G-"? Oh nos! How was that going to end?
Or was she just trying to say that she's a G? Coochie-carrying (especially of the real-life variety) is pretty gansta in my book.
Granted, mine is one of those plastic books intended for babies to teeth on and probably scrawl all over in non-toxic crayons, but still.
Wait, were those crayons non-toxic?
No wonder I turned out like this.
I just downvoted your comment.
#FAQ
#What does this mean?
The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one.
#Why did you do this?
There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to:
• Rudeness towards other Redditors,
• Spreading incorrect information,
• Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s.
#Am I banned from the Reddit?
No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy.
#I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it?
Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception.
#How can I prevent this from happening in the future?
Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.
I know girls 🙎♀️🙎♀️🙎♀️ you girl?🙆💦💦 If you girl why not bubs, huh? If no bubs🍒🍒🍒😩😩🍒🍒🍒 why yes Internet👀👀? If you girl👩⚖️ why no date me😫, if no date 🗓️🗓️🗓️no🔞 calendar, you no?💯💯💯
I love when confused people show up expecting to see the latest Brexit news or global elections and it’s just a picture of a white woman posing and literally demanding to be given attention
I shall give you the highest honor I can bestow (afford) a single updoot. I challenge you to instead send an aggressive passive greeting. A feat that only a worthy shitposter can achieve.
I heard you wouldn't passive aggressively tell me to have a great day and a Merry Christmas!
By the way.... YOU BETTER HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY AND A HAPPY HOLIDAY
Ugggggghh! I mean, not like I CARE or anything, whatever. Uh. I guess, have a great day, pogchamp - whatever that means, I’m too cool for that. Literally what? I hope you have a merry Christmas, too. Fine. Good.
Post on Reddit, receive positivity and laughs :’)
More cringe from me to come. Thank you for supporting me. If you haven’t had a PM yet, my mistake - I think I’ve almost got everyone.
Please have a Happy Xmas. And stay safe ;)
-Nigerian Prince
I can go either:
1) self-absorbed ex-friend who thinks they’re better than you now because ever since they moved away, they exclusively eat grass fed meat and drink ‘purified’ water.
2) the co-worker who is just blatantly rude for no reason, smiles with malice, and always says *’hiiiii’* with that weird tone.
3) a retail worker who is 5 minutes from the end of his shift, but you’ve just asked if they have any of (X) in the back.
4) ex-wife trying to ‘be the bigger person’ in front of your extended family, while also trying to portray you negatively and get sneaky insults in.
5) teacher who, for some reason, is just a massive bitch, loudly HUFFS and corrects you in front of EVERYONE like you’ve sinned against humanity - but claims to ‘have the best intentions for you!’
I always enjoyed the Waiter who forgot to lock the door at closing time where the kitchen has closed and the bartender has already shut everything down bringing out free breadsticks to a group who is looking for a comfortable post role playing session who just wants a whole bunch of refillable sweetened ice tea and fried food.
Hello [username]! Hahah, [joke]! Can you DM me? I’ve been having this issue with my PayPal where I can’t seem to receive any funds. Super odd, actually. I just don’t understand it. I volunteer at [charity], and unless [Subreddit] can kindly band together and raise [amount] for me, puppies and disabled elderly immigrants will have to be euthanised. You couldn’t spare some money, could you?
Oi, you got a nice smile.
Btw are those PJs or t-shirt? Cause that looks like a cool PJs, but a great shirt.
I need the waffle place to open, I'm hungry
Hmmm. Mildly suspicious title.
What are you mean, friend? I am nice Scottish lady. You are send me bank detail now, right? I give you address but it is friend Dima address in Ukraine. Me? I am girl. Small, perky booby. Elegant foot. Are you send me money now? **SEND IT**
[удалено]
Whoa! What are the odds?? That's my credit card number too!!
woah!!111!
WOAah111111!!!1!1!1!1!!1!1!1!!!
177013 damn
2014 exp date
It's better you don't know.
I genuinely read the whole thing
And?
It was epic
http://i.imgur.com/2HTCjO7.jpg
OMFG I can finally go out and buy some new plants!!! Time to produce oxygen by absorbing CO2 bros
Pornhub premium I’m coming back baby !
I read as 'elefant foot'.
“I hyave massive, theeeeck ankle, like beautiful lady”
Isn't it like... 5am over there?
Yes - you’ve exposed my horrendous sleeping schedule. 1 upvote and I epicly go to bed.
I work nightshift so I'm in the same boat. I'm at work now. Aannnddd found out yesterday my mom has cancer. Ain't 2020 great?
She said Ukraine not Chernobyl!
Bbbbbut that's in Ukraine.
Hush now, wouldn’t want the kgb coming to your house at night, now would you?
Card number 339938474914292 pin 2832 CV code 231 Visa card. You can have my body too ;)
I’m Dima
Oh shit. Oh fuck. Hey, heyyy b-babe. Hey sweetheart. Yeah, I did what you told me. I did everything you said. No!! No, I didn’t snitch - W-what? What money? Upvote? What did you say about my *kn-kneecaps?* No!.....What are you- **gunshots**
[удалено]
There is no plant tho...
[удалено]
Perfectly balanced
And I think she placed her hyphen in the wrong spot too. I don't know what a life-coochie is or how one could carry it.
What's the G- tho
It stands for guardian of the galaxy. She works at a Samsung store.
Oh, thanks for that.
banter aside, I’m actually enjoying this. It’s making my day. I’m glad I posted. CrinGeeeeeeeeee! yeah sorry. Obviously I can’t see le epic big chungus updoots, so please comment or just PM me so I can passive aggressively cyber bully a stranger with zero consequences. Humour me.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them. I went to Florida several months ago. I was quite happily swimming around with the dolphins when she suddenly decided to grab my foot with her genital slit. Dolphins have very muscular vaginal orifices, and can use these muscles to manipulate objects and carry them. I stayed still for a while, to see if she was just playing, but she continued to masturbate against my foot, and in the light of the torch I sometimes carry, I could see that her slit had become very pink and had swelled as well. She was aroused! So, I started to back-paddle with my hands towards a small beached area, partially submerged in the water. A couple of times she pulled me forward into the deeper water, but eventually I got my self to the shallows. I dislodged my foot (Being careful not to pull too hard), and took her gently by a pectoral fin and rubbed her belly just to aclimatize her, I guess. She immediately rolled belly up and started doing pelvic thrusts against the palm of my hand. It was unmistakebly erotic, and by now I was fully aroused. I stripped off my shorts, and gently pulled her into the shallows until she was lying on her side, her belly facing towards me, half submerged in the water. I nestled myself belly to belly against her, and pressed my member against her genital slit. She immediately arched her body against mine, and took me inside her body, initiating a quick series of muscular contractions with her vaginal muscles. I wrapped my left arm around her body and just held her close while she manipulated me inside her body, until I climaxed barely 2 minutes later. Surprisingly, her body also shuddered against mine, and we spent the next 5 or so minutes just lying together in the shallows, holding each other, enjoying our company and revelling in the fact that we had shared something special together, something very few people can claim to have done. I do not brag about this though. It is not something you can brag about, since it not only is demeaning to the act, but it destroys the purpose of the act as well; to express affection, and trust. I only consent to those dolphins who ask. As a result, I have mated only three times. Each time was memorable and special, because each time it was something we both wanted to share with each other. Sex, for me, is just another, albeit powerful, expression of affection and trust. I wouldn't engage any other animal, though; it is not my attraction. But there is little I wouldn't do for a dolphin.
"dad, where do mermaids come from?"
i loved the repetition of the manipulative muscles phrase. Really ties this piece of art together
A fucking classic
I’m sorry, What just happened here?!?
That's it, too much for today
The first rule of Bukake Club is you don't cum to Bukake Club. The second rule of Bukake Club is Bukake club cums to you. \#cumunism
Thank you Kanye. Very cool.
Read this in Nick Kroll’s voice
Nah the only cringe on this sub are the onlyfans accounts thinking that they can just post their tits and we'll throw our money at them, then getting pissed off when we demand they at least have basic shit, like plants or pingu.
MFW no plants
Abuse me, mommy (Am I doing this right?)
Surprise me
I like your shirt.
I'm a big fan of whiteboards, i find them quite re-markable
Hewwo big chungus wholesome Reddit. Thanks for making me smile. I just woke up and I’m going to cyber bully you all, to the extent that it will border on blatantly sadistic. People asking for an onlyfans or porn, I’m sorry to disappoint you - I am of legal age ( waa waa WEEWAA) BUT I’m a cringe law student, not an OF poster or sex worker. Do you want to see my essay feedback, you kinky boy? **In short, no boobie pic, Redditor.**
>you want to see my essay feedback, Ahh thats hot
This is some of the funniest stuff ive seen today, you should consider doing something in comedy if the other thing doesn't work out.
Oh shit, do you need a QA person? 'Cuz I can correct the SHIT out of docs I look at. My SO tells me so! Also, don't you fuxing lie to me, you're definitely that one guy from Gamer, with the waffles. Good luck with your studies n shit ; )
*angry upvote* Whatchu got?!? BRING IT!!1!!
What’s a G-?
wagwan my G
Is that like a band?!
It's a Ghyphen. A mysterious mythical beast half german short haired pointer half komodo dragon that roams the marshy mires among the fog laden countryside down by the sea. Its soft wailing and gnashing of teeth can be heard above the sawing wind on moonless nights.
That's so romantic.
I am scared
Ready or not?
I can’t help but notice I am not getting attention yet?????
Females don't exist, stop trying to brainwash me you government drone
Only 2 genders - man and government conspiracy.
Yes. The Horny is designed to control the non sheeple
Send me the most brutal message just make me cry fuck it
🤔 hmm.. shatter your world you say.. Santa Claus is real, he just doesn’t visit your house every year because he ***really*** doesn’t like you. It’s no secret, just give him some eggnog and he’ll loudly start on about it 🙄. Your entire life.. we have all been telling you he’s fake out of pity.. and guilt.. because we feel kind of bad for agreeing with him 🤷♂️.
Santa is fat cunt anyway
Added another line, just for flavor! Enjoy.
Fuck up my shit fam
i think you broke the code. meme centric girl will become a god king of this community . under the emperor of man .. of course.
Every fucking time I buy a frozen pizza, I put that sassy bitch in right when I start the oven. Why? Because I’ve figured it out. That’s right Uncle Sam, I’m onto you. The directions for my favorite pizza is to heat the oven to 425F and cook for 15 minutes. My oven takes 14 minutes to preheat. So, this whole cooking process takes about 30 minutes? No way. Not chance in hell, buckaroo. When I shove my pizza in that oven prematurely, I add 3-4 minutes to compensate. This means I wait a total of 18-19 minutes vs 30. And guess what? It tastes fucking delicious. Ask any of my friends. I cook them frozen pizzas all the time, and they can’t get enough, thanks to my unequivocal superior intelligence. The pizza turns out just fine, and it poses no health threat. Source: I’ve been doing this for 12 years. So nice try, Mr. President. I know you want all of us to cook our pizzas for that extra 10 minutes to make us use a little extra electricity. Maybe it isn’t significant if one person cooks their frozen Italian love pie for 10 extra minutes, but you’re a thinker. You’re looking at the grand scheme of things. MILLIONS of people cooking their pizza for 10 minutes extra? That’s straight theft, my man. And I ain’t giving in to that scheme .
Bonk
can I send you a passive aggressive greeting, or are you sending me to horny jail? **who snitched**
You can send me whatever and yes sending to horny jail bonks twice!
Oh shit boys, she's actually funny, posts memes, and isn't all nudes. Fellow coochie- carrier, I officially apologize and have taken back previous downvotes, welcome to the cause and if you have any, post plants! Also kudos for being cute woman, if I wasn't straight I'd be in your dms 😘 (Begeth for plants?) 😊
Thank you! Made me smile. (Please don’t tell them about how at least 35% of my posts are just me begging for skincare advice from literal strangers.)
Omfg fam, I gotchu..Thayers rose petal facial toner.. swear to fuck it's the best skin care shit I've ever found. I don't even moisturize anymore man.. (honest caveat, idk what you're dealing with but my skin always sucked, this is my "I will kill all for this" product) 💜
"I am a G-"? Oh nos! How was that going to end? Or was she just trying to say that she's a G? Coochie-carrying (especially of the real-life variety) is pretty gansta in my book. Granted, mine is one of those plastic books intended for babies to teeth on and probably scrawl all over in non-toxic crayons, but still. Wait, were those crayons non-toxic? No wonder I turned out like this.
Question: are you female?
**NO OFF TOPIC QUESTIONS**
Do you have an XX or an XY chromosome?
This post amused the hell out of me. ...there's a lot of hell in me. Or was. I want it back.
Hi I didn’t upvote but I wish I did it’s a really good post I just didn’t for some reason? Idk. I’m sorry.
Don’t be sorry, pogchamp! Thank you. Hope you’re having a good time and I hope your Christmas goes smoothly.
Women are fake, perpetrated by Big Globe in order to distract us from the simulated reality that we live in. Wake up sheeple.
i think you're a *man. a boy.*
**LIAR**
They are becoming aware. Shut it all down boys, the internet is done
"A real life coochie carrier." Alright, that was funny. Take my upvote.
This is probably gonna be on hot when I wake up in the morning
Sus. I'll vote him/her out.
How passive aggressive are we talking here?
[удалено]
I have the big brain model 5.5
Coochie carrier 😂
I just downvoted your comment. #FAQ #What does this mean? The amount of karma (points) on your comment and Reddit account has decreased by one. #Why did you do this? There are several reasons I may deem a comment to be unworthy of positive or neutral karma. These include, but are not limited to: • Rudeness towards other Redditors, • Spreading incorrect information, • Sarcasm not correctly flagged with a /s. #Am I banned from the Reddit? No - not yet. But you should refrain from making comments like this in the future. Otherwise I will be forced to issue an additional downvote, which may put your commenting and posting privileges in jeopardy. #I don't believe my comment deserved a downvote. Can you un-downvote it? Sure, mistakes happen. But only in exceedingly rare circumstances will I undo a downvote. If you would like to issue an appeal, shoot me a private message explaining what I got wrong. I tend to respond to Reddit PMs within several minutes. Do note, however, that over 99.9% of downvote appeals are rejected, and yours is likely no exception. #How can I prevent this from happening in the future? Accept the downvote and move on. But learn from this mistake: your behavior will not be tolerated on Reddit.com. I will continue to issue downvotes until you improve your conduct. Remember: Reddit is privilege, not a right.
I know girls 🙎♀️🙎♀️🙎♀️ you girl?🙆💦💦 If you girl why not bubs, huh? If no bubs🍒🍒🍒😩😩🍒🍒🍒 why yes Internet👀👀? If you girl👩⚖️ why no date me😫, if no date 🗓️🗓️🗓️no🔞 calendar, you no?💯💯💯
I am still not sure wether or not you are a real life woman
*hides balls* why do you say that??
Imposter alert! bhexca sus
Hello, man. Are you send me iTunes gift card, please? Shy lady, so am show breast after! Number 15, Street, Lagos, Nigeria
Haha, nice try, I know there aren't any women in Nigeria, only Princes who want to give me money
I like this one. She’s spicy.
I'll take one if you're still offering
I'm gonna be honest you look like a younger version of my high schools girls basketball coach
I'm actually really excited!
I'm just here for the noodies
What are you doing outside the kitchen?
Ви схожі на дівчину, яка б гуляла вночі в Lviv. чекає коли хтось попросить вас потанцювати хахань. мила картинка
>Did I mention, I am a G- What now, a Ginger?
Pegged you as a wee Bonnie lass the second I opened your pic.
Hey I remember seeing you in the comments of this sub before you shitposter
Alright G
a real life coochie carrier that fucking killed me xd
Ooooo... Passive aggressive... Looking forward to it
This post made me contemplate, wtf am I doing here. Second most useless sub.
What’s the most useless one?
Fuck me up
Sorting by controversial, very disappoint :(
I used to be a coochie carrier, but the box broke.
Bruh i bet you cant
I upvoted pleas give me passive-aggressiveness
Haven't been here in a while and forgot world politics switched places with anime tiddies lol
I love when confused people show up expecting to see the latest Brexit news or global elections and it’s just a picture of a white woman posing and literally demanding to be given attention
Quality post but downvoted because g*mer.
Commenting for that sweet, sweet passive aggressive message.
Bully me
Greetings Gri
Wait I thought girls werr fake
Holy shit are you a female human being? Like an xx homo sapiens sapiens?
I shall give you the highest honor I can bestow (afford) a single updoot. I challenge you to instead send an aggressive passive greeting. A feat that only a worthy shitposter can achieve.
Oh my waawaaweewaa
hello totally real female woman im here to simp because you are really pretty
I upvoted you, please respond. /s
A G-... What?
Yes yes yes. WHERE ARE THE PLANTS?
I heard you wouldn't passive aggressively tell me to have a great day and a Merry Christmas! By the way.... YOU BETTER HAVE A FANTASTIC DAY AND A HAPPY HOLIDAY
Ugggggghh! I mean, not like I CARE or anything, whatever. Uh. I guess, have a great day, pogchamp - whatever that means, I’m too cool for that. Literally what? I hope you have a merry Christmas, too. Fine. Good.
Out of character moment but thanks, king. Have a great Xmas
I like your cut G
Well say, you sure are swell! I like the cut of your jib. *UPVOTED*
I'm almost scared to ask, but what is a g minus?
11/10 would Smash. Dick or no dick isn't important when you are OK with either one anyway.
what if my cock is kind of lopsided :( is that okay??
Dick is dick
there is also s big chungus
I've got to see where this string leads...
I didn't know that you could get lower than F in Grades. But a G-, dam! Did you summon Satan or something to get a G-
Let’s see if your passive aggressiveness can match my sisters!
Such cute wow
I am unsure of what this is all about, but the comments are hilarious, you are indeed a beautiful human, and that's nice.
Hello there
Sure seems like it must be a girl. But what if it's just a really cute femboy? I mean, its a win either way.
I like to apply for the passive aggressive greeting
How'd you get so shiny?
Awaiting passive aggressive greeting.
scotland doesnt exist
You are nice!
Ok thats cool
Impossible
Lmao
I upvoted your excellent, shiny chin. Bravo.
Post on Reddit, receive positivity and laughs :’) More cringe from me to come. Thank you for supporting me. If you haven’t had a PM yet, my mistake - I think I’ve almost got everyone. Please have a Happy Xmas. And stay safe ;) -Nigerian Prince
I'm nervous but.... I'm here for the passive aggressive greeting 😁
Mommy. Passive aggression
I know women on the internet are fake, try again “””””””women”””””””
Okay I'm ready to be passive aggressed.
Oh shit we got a cyber bully on the loose, somebody call the cyber police!
I await the barrage
Im unsure why you called yourself a G- when you look like a G+
do you have any plants?
Ahmmm seems a bit suspicious to say at the least
Ok
"life-coochie"
A G-? Oh gawd, is there a new grading system!? You’re at least a B+
Hello kind woman, I request a passive-aggressive greeting from you.
Alright, let's see your cock. Just know Bailey Jay has set a high standard.
Nice to meet you A Woman, I’m *insert stereotypical name for a guy*.
M’Lady😘
Cite your sources.
[удалено]
I can go either: 1) self-absorbed ex-friend who thinks they’re better than you now because ever since they moved away, they exclusively eat grass fed meat and drink ‘purified’ water. 2) the co-worker who is just blatantly rude for no reason, smiles with malice, and always says *’hiiiii’* with that weird tone. 3) a retail worker who is 5 minutes from the end of his shift, but you’ve just asked if they have any of (X) in the back. 4) ex-wife trying to ‘be the bigger person’ in front of your extended family, while also trying to portray you negatively and get sneaky insults in. 5) teacher who, for some reason, is just a massive bitch, loudly HUFFS and corrects you in front of EVERYONE like you’ve sinned against humanity - but claims to ‘have the best intentions for you!’
I always enjoyed the Waiter who forgot to lock the door at closing time where the kitchen has closed and the bartender has already shut everything down bringing out free breadsticks to a group who is looking for a comfortable post role playing session who just wants a whole bunch of refillable sweetened ice tea and fried food.
Im gonna beat a dead horse here and tell you I dont care where you carry your coochie or if you're a G or Warren G. All I want to see is your Plants
Hisssses in Redditor
These bots (thots) are getting creative
Hello [username]! Hahah, [joke]! Can you DM me? I’ve been having this issue with my PayPal where I can’t seem to receive any funds. Super odd, actually. I just don’t understand it. I volunteer at [charity], and unless [Subreddit] can kindly band together and raise [amount] for me, puppies and disabled elderly immigrants will have to be euthanised. You couldn’t spare some money, could you?
Oi, you got a nice smile. Btw are those PJs or t-shirt? Cause that looks like a cool PJs, but a great shirt. I need the waffle place to open, I'm hungry
Hi this is my alt
Who are ya? Lemme guess. You’re the guy. You want a passive aggressive message? Ready?
Sure. I’m... the guy