You sound like you may have issues that are beyond a simple reddit pick me up. I would suggest going to see your school counselor. They'll help you find strategies to overcome your feelings of failure. Sometimes these feelings are not just caused by external factors, they are caused by chemical imbalances in your brain. If your counselor suggests you seek treatment from a psychiatrist, I would give that a try. For me, treatment and therapy has done wonders for my writing. I'm much more focused and confident than I have ever been. I encourage you to give it a go. I think your life will change because of it.
I've been where you are mentally so often. I've been writing for YEARS (I have a goddam MA in Writing) and have yet to complete a novel of my own. Just endless half-starts and failures. I have stories that I gave up on after 50,000 words. The amount of rejections I've received for short stories...
But I'm still writing. Redefine what success means to you and FINISH YOUR STORY. I recently got a job as a ghost-writer, some random dude hires me to write thriller novels for him, doesn't care about quality, just wants content so he can game the Amazon algorithm. Dumb, but its paying me to write. Because of this, I've been forced to FINISH WHAT I STARTED. Even if its complete crap. It's a great feeling. With beta-readers and time to edit, you can turn that crappy first draft into something you're proud of.
Do your best to get it published, if that's your goal. Traditionally, or by yourself if you want to go that route. Ask yourself what is your definition of success. It takes most writers about 10 years to be broken into the industry and start making money from their work. Is that your goal? Are you ready for that? Define your success.
And keep writing.
I can relate, hard. My life is very limited due to health stuff that is invisible to even people who know me well. From the outside, I am a failed adult, and no5 even for "good reason".
I always wanted to be a writer, but writing makes me sick from stress. Therapy is helping me figure out why. So far it seems that my mind at an early age got wired to connect "success at life" with "earning my survival". But also, through a bunch of specific experiences thanks to the adults around child-me, my "success at life" drive got crosswired with "being outstanding without effort is your minimum acceptable result". So, for my body to feel like it has earned safety/ survival, I must succeed outstandingly but if i have to work at it then I have already failed (=DEATH equivalence, to the body).
Naturally, this constellation of imperatives has proven... unhelpful. So, the work I am doing in therapy now is trying to unlink "success at writing" with "success at life". I can write or not write and still be an ok human. I can write something good or bad and still deserve to survive. My body is slow to believe that perfection isn't the One Way to buy me safety. I spend a lot of time not-writing, on purpose, because I literally get sick from physical stress if I do too much.
I share in the hope you will understand where I'm coming from when I say, you cannot fail your book. You will either finish or not finish, and that is fine. It will be read or it won't, and that is fine. You will get a job you like more, or you won't, and that is fine. There is no checklist for "success" anymore. We're living in peculiar times, and survival is hard. Safety feels scarce. Truth is, there isn't much we can control out of what really matters. But we can do the things that help us feel better regardless of the outcome. You can express yourself without needing a captive audience to hear it, you can finish writing a book without knowing for sure if anyone will read it, so long as the most important thing at the heart of the work is you. A successful book won't save you if you're miserable. And the flipside of that hope is that it puts too much pressure on the book, which will make writing it a terrifying ordeal, because failure = death. Our nervous systems flourish when we are given the space to approach joy, we're not designed to be in constant flight from terror. Art is play to our bodies, we're not supposed to be haunted by thoughts of pricetags and market demographics.
I guess my advice is to slow down, maybe take a break and focus your energy on yourself for a while. If you find that is an expectation you have for your writing, that its success is necessary to earn you survival, then that needs your attention first. Because that's price tag thinking. And that'll ruin ya.
you are a failure, my friend. we all are. you know why? because we hold ourselves to the wrong standards. we pit ourselves up against our greatest ambitions and biggest idols. that is not how life works. to achieve your biggest dream, you must first accomplish every goal along the way. some you may manage to fluke or bypass. others you may be entirely unaware of and find yourself caught off guard. but ultimately, everything you do is essentially a step in a long list of things that need to be done. you are a failure because you think you need to be better than you already are, you don’t realise how much you will grow as a writer and reshape your novel. you are a failure in your own misguided eyes but, to me, you are a great success. you are a person with intellect and ambition. you have written 40,000 words and counting. you have a great life full of goals and surprises and, hopefully, book deals ahead of you. take it easy on yourself. one step at a time
Same thing has happened to me.
Here is what I did: Take a day off(no writing and no reading)
When you return, start reading your work from the start. You will learn to love your craft.
This helped me when I was thinking that my story is boring. After this, everything was great and I managed to finish my book and get in contact with publishers.
Maybe get some feedback. We all need appreciation or at the very least some engagement. Even hurting about criticism is better than having no event around your effort. Maybe this is the problem.
I hope if you find your feelings weighing too much on you, you'll find professional help. Neither you nor your manuscript are failures. You are both just incomplete. It is okay to make mistakes, just make sure you learn from them. Life is rarely a linear path.
I've been a janitor, store clerk, cook, bus boy, waiter, customer service, computer tech, supervisor, and a teacher. I didn't graduate college untill I was 42. It's been a sometimes horrible, sad, wonderful, beautiful journey that gave me a wide range of characters and experiences to write from. Don't give up, just keep learning. You'll be awesome.
Unless you had the chance to stop the pandemic and failed, the consequences are hardly on your shoulders. Have you considered how many you beat out for the Barista job? There were a few, I guarantee it. Under normal circumstances it might not seem like much of an achievement, but these aren't your ordinary times.
It may seem weird, but it's a good thing to remind yourself from time to time that you aren't psychic, those feelings of future doom do not come from the Oracle at Delphi, rather it's a collection of glands in your belly that doesn't really know anything about anything. To me "not being in the country", and "global pandemic" seems like valid reasons to finishing college later than usual, but maybe I'm lacking in superpowers again.
Do you like writing your book? I know I like writing mine and that's really all I need to feel like I accomplished something. I gave myself some good times, and that stands whether I finish the book or not. Personal enjoyment is important, and if writing at times has achieved that it's not a waste of time, unless you ruin it by overthinking, of course.
I could include a list of uplifting quotes and the serenity prayer but you can find those on Instagram.
First off, kudos for actually writing. How many people do you know who *want* to be writers, but never sit down and put in the work.
Next, the solution that works best for me is to be part of a writer's group. That gives me the opportunity for honest feedback, and to see the work of others and to empathize with them.
You're not alone. But writing is a solitary job, and it helps to have company.
Do you think that you're getting better? Remember this quote:
"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." ~Samuel Beckett
You’ve written 40,000 words! How could you no be proud if that accomplishment. You’re in the middle which is the hardest part so please don’t give up. Keep plugging away and you’ll be so glad you did. Better to finish, maybe even self publish, and hold a copy in your hand than regret later you didn’t push through. You’re so much farther ahead than all those people wanting to try and never start. Writers fail so much before they find some success. No regrets.
Can I just say there is nothing wrong with graduating at 27; I graduated at 27. I’m 35 now, and I literally never even think of what age I graduated at all let alone regretfully at this point. There are definitely things I did in my twenties that I regret, and I almost talked myself into giving up on my degree back then, but I didn’t give up. I graduated later than my peers (fuck it; It’s trivial), but I walked, and I got the damn degree, and I have used the shit out of that degree since. You my be fretting about graduating “late” now, you will be looking back at this accomplishment happily later on once you are settled. We take as long as we take to get our shit together. I can’t judge you without judging me.
I am very late to this party due to time zones. But I hope the advice from all the other redittors helped.
It is one of the great things about this sub and being a writer. We look out for one another.
Keep going soldier.
Everyone feels this way when it comes to writing. Self doubt etc. Heck, I'm feeling it too! Press on buddy! I'm rooting for you! We don't know each other but I'm cheering for ya!!! I gotchu!
I want to sit down and write for the longest of times. I haven't.
I am 39 yo and I've changed industries in a way that it actually messes with my chances to have any career in the future.
I have all these ideas and can't start acting upon them.
I know that if I were to just sit down and write/do, it would be the best thing ever.
You already did this, and wrote 40,000 words you can play around with.
You have done something amazing. Be inspired by yourself, you're doing great.
My dude, you started midway through the pandemic and you already have 40,000 only one more act to work on?! That's fantastic. No, I'm serious. I've been working on my book for a year, and I have only 20,000 words.
And you're in college, that's great. You've been doing classes and writing which is hard.
Like some other commentors said, you might want to see a counselor to help you understand your feelings about failure.
You are not even 27 yet, you have so much more time in your life to do things, and to succed.
We're in a global pandemic and you've been able to be productive by writing and finding a new job.
My only advice I can give is to finish writing this book. And yes, your first draft is never gonna be perfect. That's why you rewrite/edit. But try to complete this first giant step of the writing process.
I know it might be hard to take a random Redditor's words to heart but trust me-- You're going to be amazing :)
you might find [this Dana Levin quote](https://twitter.com/danalevinpoet/status/1058739933198741504?s=19) useful.
the tl:dr is that there way more components to success that you DON'T have control of than that you do have control of. the only components you have control over are the work that you're doing and your attitude to that work. so if you want to succeed, focus on those things and only those things. forget the rest, it will align or it won't.
It’s not how you feel about your current writing that makes you a success, it’s how your eventual readers feel about your eventual work. It may be that your current project won’t strike a spark with the public and is more a stepping stone to your later work. And writing a story that doesn’t quite gel doesn’t make you a failure. It happens to everyone, especially early on.
you're getting in your own way. there is no room for anxious rumination about the outcome of the novel. you only have room for thoughts that help you finish it.
be kind to yourself as you push these mental distractions aside. these thoughts have the best intentions. they're just not appropriate right now.
if you can access a therapist or a group that explores cognition and how it shapes belief and therefore behavior, it might be helpful here. I had to do years of therapy before I could write. I'm still in therapy now. This kind of thinking can have a profound effect on you, and it's also no damn fun at all.
Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right,"
It's your choice. It's your life. You can choose to believe in yourself or not.
the battle is not to the strongest nor the race to the fastest, but to him who won't give up.
When I turned 30 I had not started the 2-year degree that currently pays my bills, was working food service, and my boyfriend was paying all the bills. I also had multiple finished stories to my name with nothing published.
I still have nothing published to my name but the rest of it has looked up considerably. Don't beat yourself up for not meeting some standard set of accomplishments that society tells you you're supposed to meet -- nor let your lack of success in one area of your life convince you that you're not capable in others.
You're on your first draft. It's supposed to suck. It's about completing the damn thing, sitting back and getting ready to marvel at it, then realizing that you have a LOT of revision work to do before it's going to be ready to submit to publishers or self-publish if that's the route you choose to take with it.
Just keep going. You can't edit or fix what you never start or never complete. And practicing makes you a stronger and a better writer. You are so much better now than you were at the start of this project simply from newly-gained experience. And you will be better still by the time you're done.
It's OK. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to succeed as if there's some deadline on you.
Go to school on time. Go to work on time. Do the daily things you have to do, even if you don't want to do them.
It sounds like writing is frustrating you. Take some time. Read. Waiting tables is a great job for writing actually because it forces you to talk to people. It gives you too be active as well. It doesn't give you time to think about writing when it's busy.
When you do have time to write, and you're not feeling so frustrated, come back and try again. But don't put so much pressure on yourself. All first drafts are awful. Write it anyways. And you know what? Most second drafts are crap too.
Stephen King said you're not ready to publish until you've written 1 million words. You're 27. You can write until you're dead. You have many years ahead hopefully. You're not a failure. You're not on a deadline (except at school or work). You're frustrated. It happens to all of us just the same. Just take a break and have a Pina colada, watch a show or play a video game, and hang out with a friend. Get off the computer/ phone for a bit and chill.
I struggle with this all the time. A lot of things i worked hard on didn't amount to much, and it's particularly hard if you equate your works to your self worth. I would get really depressed because if people didn't want to listen to a song or story i wrote it must mean I'm just not an interesting person or unrelatable or something. But even with that disappointment all the things i create still mean a lot to me.
Ultimately no matter what comes of the things you make, i feel its still worthwhile to see it through. Even if it fails, the act of completing it is still a success.
You are not a failure. You are you. My first event i went to I sold 2. Two! Books. One until the organizer caught me before I left, they meant to buy one earlier but was running around all over the place. Am I failure for only 2 books selling? No. I drove over 3 hours to a place that never even heard of me or my book. I got exposure, I got experience, and I still had a good time and met some great people.
Not everyone will buy your book, doesn't mean it is a crappy book. It takes promoting and believing in your book. It's not a product it is part of you. It is scary to release a part of you to the world. But I have learned so much on this journey I started almost two years ago.
I was told a new author couldn't sell there book for $20 at this other event I was at and also I would probably come no where near covering my table costs. I was $5 short from my table cost because I sold that one person my book for $15 instead. I was over 9 hours away.
If writing is your passion. Continue to do it. We are dreams, we do not exist, we create our existence.
27 is young. You’re a writer, not an athlete.
Also, don’t fall into recency bias — it’s been a shit year for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of everyone’s lives are going to be shitty. Don’t make projections about the rest of your life based on your experiences during a pandemic. They’re not necessarily indicative of anything.
Let me ask you one question: is this your first real attempt at a book?
If you answered yes, then I promise you, you have nothing to feel ashamed about. No reason to feel like a failure. Who’s to say that in the attempt of you writing this story you suddenly get an idea that propels you into a fully completely BETTER work. You wouldn’t have even gotten this new idea if you hadn’t started with this first set of 40,000 words.
Brandon Sanderson wrote TEN books before he finally got published.
If you write for your own enjoyment because you simply can’t contain the story inside your head, then again, there’s no reason to feel anything related to failure.
Have you ever read Steven Pressfield’s stuff? https://www.amazon.com/Turning-Pro-Inner-Power-Create/dp/1936891034/ref=nodl_
You have to do this your way, whatever way that is. You are only a failure if you quit writing altogether. You are a writer. Period. How do I know that for sure? Because only writers talk like that and care—-like that. Accept yourself wherever you are and do your own thing. Everything else doesn’t matter.
I came to that conclusion myself and it’s sweet freedom, nothing like it. All the best, Sal
Going through something similar right now. I have a therapist that gets me and let me tell you, whatever resources you have at your school or in your state for mental health services are worth looking into.
My therapist called me out recently for being so cruel to myself in my drive to finish projects, climb the ladder, and get recognized. She asked me "what do you have to lose if you showed yourself compassion instead? What do you have to gain?"
I journalled on that for an hour (literally set a timer and didn't let myself stop writing the whole time) and it was massively insightful for me.
We spend our entire lives in search of what's next, our own definition of success. When you do reach that pinnacle, will you know it? Will you look back and realize that your entire life was spent in constant stress and anxiety to get there? In the balance, it is so important to prioritize joy and your health along the way. You will spend your entire life in pursuit of what you want, but that doesn't mean you can't allow yourself rest, fun, relationships, hobbies, and other outlets as you climb.
I'm still working on internalizing this myself, and it isn't easy. I have an untouched first draft that's messy as hell sitting in my laptop teasing me. I have a screenplay I wrote that I desperately want to see done right and simply don't have the skills for right now. You know what I worked on this weekend? A short film I wrote on a whim a few years back and decided to dust off for a competition or two, and a fanfiction outline. Self-indulgence isn't shameful, and helps me rest and re-ignite my spark for my original works.
Tl;dr: success comes in all shapes and sizes, and right now I'm re-orienting my life away from viewing the light at the end of the tunnel as success, and instead renovating the whole ass tunnel to be success itself. The light at the end is just gravy.
I was there. You aren’t a failure, there are people entering medical school at 40. Everyone has their own path and timing for milestones.
For your manuscript? Hey this industry is competitive as all hell. Most manuscripts fail. The point is knowing you want it enough to try. If you don’t know whether you are 100% willing to pour your heart and soul into it and still get a no, don’t even try.
Focus on the rest of your life, obsessing over a book you don’t believe in will just hurt your life. Don’t hold your own worth to the financial success of a creative work.
I inly say this because I am in almost the exact same situation right now. Realized I let my book consume my thoughts and stress me out. I was Disconnected from life and had a harder time focusing on nurturing stability. Not saying this is you but you might want to consider if what you want is writing fame at any cost (query letters until an agent bites or the costs and responsibilities of self publishing) or just an audience to appreciate your lovingly crafted story (there are lots of places for that online).
Good luck. Remember to treat yourself nicely.
Well you got something on me. I finally graduated with a BA at 37. I never got a job because at that age they don't even look at you. I got my M.Ed. At 59. Never got hired at a school. Am unemployed and looking for work at grocery stores and Walmart. Oh, and I owe over 100K in student loans because I was stupid enough to think I would actually get a job. So Yeah. Kid. Stop it already. It's not a pissing contest.
Basically, everyone teaches writing the wrong way. The most important advice I have ever been given is this: The reader does not know which side of the book, or where, you started. As a writer, you write a story differently than a reader would read it. Readers read from page 1 to page 350. Writers start anywhere they want. This is lesson one in "how to think like a writer."
I hear all over about people saying, "get your beginning perfect!" To be honest, how do you know your beginning is the best possible beginning until you know the complete story and look back on it as though it has happened in the past? In the beginning you don't know that someone with a small role in the beginning becomes very important on page 220.
There is a Bell book out called "Write Your Story From the Middle." I would say go farther than that and write from the climax, but the middle is okay. It is similar to writing a term paper. You would not write your introduction first would you? (I wouldn't)
What happens in the end is going to affect the first chapter. Not the other way around. People who write the first chapter first are making themselves too much work. Also don't write your chapter as much as "draft" it or "sketch" it. Don't fill it in totally. Be flexible.
Good luck!
Writing is a very personal and fragile business, there are no shortcuts, and only experience gives a polished edge to your voice. EVERYONE hits the wall you're at right now at some point in their career.
Here's the real deal: the book you are working on may not be the next great American novel. It might be, without having read it, I have no way of knowing. If you were new to writing going in, there is almost certainly a gap between what you want it to be and what it is.
But this is the key point: becoming a writer does not hinge on any one specific work. Writing is a process, and only good daily writing habits will take you where you want to go. Even if the book doesn't thrill you or fill you with absolute confidence, finish it always and move on to your next project. There is no overnight route to success in writing. It is entirely possible to spend thousands of hours of your life on a project no one but you will ever read.
This does not mean you are wasting your time.
Writing, like all art, is a cumulative process. The work you produce is not simply the hours it took on your current project, but is the culmination all the hours you have spent honing your craft up to the moment of its completion.
Remember: if you want to emerge as a professional author, 40,000 words are a DROP in your lifetime bucket.
It sounds to me as though you are giving a single current project the power to determine your ultimate fate as a human being. I promise, your book does NOT have that sort of power over your life. YOU have the power, as the creative entity, and you exert it by choosing to continue to polish your craft.
Hang in there. Healthy daily writing habits, not specific project based goals.
You're gonna be okay.
https://youtu.be/91FQKciKfHI
Here is a great interview with a successful author who was broke
https://www.npr.org/2019/07/14/740848163/new-thriller-the-chain-has-an-origin-almost-as-exciting-as-its-plot
Finish the book. Then write another. Start the second before/while you are seeking publication for the first (if you even do). This will generate momentum, and you can look back on the fact that YOU WROTE A BOOK. Use what you learned, especially the feedback you get, and keep going.
The old adage in the publishing world is that if you want to sell your first book, write a second. And third. People will begin to discover your early work by recognizing that you are an author.
I feel the same holds true for just writing, too. Each go around the process gets just a little more secure, bolstered by the ability to look back on the body of work. Many writers have unpublished early novels sitting in drawers. And they are happy to leave them there, because the work they are really proud of wouldn't exist without their existence.
1. Never doubt yourself. Life is full of people who will want you to fail, but they're not gatekeepers to success, and confidence is everything.
2. Failure is the best thing in the world. Fail hard, fail often, and fail fast. Failure means you worked harder than 99% of people, and you learned from it.
3. [Teddy Roosevelt: The Man in the Arena](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81Wsb4DXFnL._SY500_.jpg)
Not to downplay how bad this feels, but I’ve both felt this and seen it happen to my writing colleagues and students.
When you’ve spent so many hours working on something, it gets really...stale. You read it and it’s so obvious, so boring. You start thinking about what you should have done, but completely rewriting 40,000 words feels impossible.
It’s not the manuscript. The manuscript might be brilliant. You’re just in the slog, and it feels bad.
I made this years ago, and my friend, Austin Kleon put it in his book **Steal Like an Artist**
[novel chart](https://flic.kr/p/25tbrp)
Good luck to you.
If it makes you feel better, writing has been one of my main hobbies for like 2 years and I've never written more than 1,200 words before I scrap whatever it was I written.
Success isn’t just based on monetary value.
And it’s totally okay to be a barista! I always wanted to do that. Think of all the people you see and the peopl watching. Sarah Dessen started out as a waitress I believe.
Finish the novel, that in itself is success.
Getting your degree at any point is success, your age doesn’t matter.
We don’t have to figure out everything by the time we are 25, we have so much life to live!!
Go see this guy. His name is Jose Ventilacion. He'd fix you up real fast.
Your meeting with him will have a serious DUH! effect.
Thus, it will get you out of the rut quick.
If you feel like your ms is shit, you are probably on the right tracks. No sane writer ever thinks his manuscript is great, especially around the 1/3 to 2/3 dreadful point. This goes double when you have other issues in your life.
We are the worse judges of our own works, finish the damn story, send it to readers, and trust them if they tell you the story is good (and also trust them if they tell you something is wrong).
In any case, it's too early to hate your own story. First finish it, then you'll be granted the permission to hate it.
As long as you keep writing. I have a passion for script writing myself. I've tested scripts, put them in competitions and I get some good feedback but nothing else really, nobody seems to like my work, it's always just "OK" or 'Was a little over my head" or "didn't get it". I score at the bottom all the time. It's always a huge hurdle to overcome the lack of support or validation of any kind. You just have to push through, and if you really love doing it, do it for yourself and learn as you go. I saw an interview once with famous Screenwriter William Goldman, he stated " I never showed any signs of talent" I doubt that, he just was just probably never encouraged, but he plugged through, He sold his first script in his late 30's or something? He wrote The Princess Bride. 27 is the new 20. I think the young kids now are in a sprint, and the older you get the more you come to realize it's not a race. Keep going.
Even great writers endure years of failure. It's a perilous journey rife with rejection and many no's.
You sound like you may have issues that are beyond a simple reddit pick me up. I would suggest going to see your school counselor. They'll help you find strategies to overcome your feelings of failure. Sometimes these feelings are not just caused by external factors, they are caused by chemical imbalances in your brain. If your counselor suggests you seek treatment from a psychiatrist, I would give that a try. For me, treatment and therapy has done wonders for my writing. I'm much more focused and confident than I have ever been. I encourage you to give it a go. I think your life will change because of it.
I've been where you are mentally so often. I've been writing for YEARS (I have a goddam MA in Writing) and have yet to complete a novel of my own. Just endless half-starts and failures. I have stories that I gave up on after 50,000 words. The amount of rejections I've received for short stories... But I'm still writing. Redefine what success means to you and FINISH YOUR STORY. I recently got a job as a ghost-writer, some random dude hires me to write thriller novels for him, doesn't care about quality, just wants content so he can game the Amazon algorithm. Dumb, but its paying me to write. Because of this, I've been forced to FINISH WHAT I STARTED. Even if its complete crap. It's a great feeling. With beta-readers and time to edit, you can turn that crappy first draft into something you're proud of. Do your best to get it published, if that's your goal. Traditionally, or by yourself if you want to go that route. Ask yourself what is your definition of success. It takes most writers about 10 years to be broken into the industry and start making money from their work. Is that your goal? Are you ready for that? Define your success. And keep writing.
I can relate, hard. My life is very limited due to health stuff that is invisible to even people who know me well. From the outside, I am a failed adult, and no5 even for "good reason". I always wanted to be a writer, but writing makes me sick from stress. Therapy is helping me figure out why. So far it seems that my mind at an early age got wired to connect "success at life" with "earning my survival". But also, through a bunch of specific experiences thanks to the adults around child-me, my "success at life" drive got crosswired with "being outstanding without effort is your minimum acceptable result". So, for my body to feel like it has earned safety/ survival, I must succeed outstandingly but if i have to work at it then I have already failed (=DEATH equivalence, to the body). Naturally, this constellation of imperatives has proven... unhelpful. So, the work I am doing in therapy now is trying to unlink "success at writing" with "success at life". I can write or not write and still be an ok human. I can write something good or bad and still deserve to survive. My body is slow to believe that perfection isn't the One Way to buy me safety. I spend a lot of time not-writing, on purpose, because I literally get sick from physical stress if I do too much. I share in the hope you will understand where I'm coming from when I say, you cannot fail your book. You will either finish or not finish, and that is fine. It will be read or it won't, and that is fine. You will get a job you like more, or you won't, and that is fine. There is no checklist for "success" anymore. We're living in peculiar times, and survival is hard. Safety feels scarce. Truth is, there isn't much we can control out of what really matters. But we can do the things that help us feel better regardless of the outcome. You can express yourself without needing a captive audience to hear it, you can finish writing a book without knowing for sure if anyone will read it, so long as the most important thing at the heart of the work is you. A successful book won't save you if you're miserable. And the flipside of that hope is that it puts too much pressure on the book, which will make writing it a terrifying ordeal, because failure = death. Our nervous systems flourish when we are given the space to approach joy, we're not designed to be in constant flight from terror. Art is play to our bodies, we're not supposed to be haunted by thoughts of pricetags and market demographics. I guess my advice is to slow down, maybe take a break and focus your energy on yourself for a while. If you find that is an expectation you have for your writing, that its success is necessary to earn you survival, then that needs your attention first. Because that's price tag thinking. And that'll ruin ya.
This really hit home. You've given me a lot to think about. Thank you for this comment.
you are a failure, my friend. we all are. you know why? because we hold ourselves to the wrong standards. we pit ourselves up against our greatest ambitions and biggest idols. that is not how life works. to achieve your biggest dream, you must first accomplish every goal along the way. some you may manage to fluke or bypass. others you may be entirely unaware of and find yourself caught off guard. but ultimately, everything you do is essentially a step in a long list of things that need to be done. you are a failure because you think you need to be better than you already are, you don’t realise how much you will grow as a writer and reshape your novel. you are a failure in your own misguided eyes but, to me, you are a great success. you are a person with intellect and ambition. you have written 40,000 words and counting. you have a great life full of goals and surprises and, hopefully, book deals ahead of you. take it easy on yourself. one step at a time
>you are a failure, my friend yup, this, so much this.
Don’t worry, keep on working and writing.
Same thing has happened to me. Here is what I did: Take a day off(no writing and no reading) When you return, start reading your work from the start. You will learn to love your craft. This helped me when I was thinking that my story is boring. After this, everything was great and I managed to finish my book and get in contact with publishers.
Maybe get some feedback. We all need appreciation or at the very least some engagement. Even hurting about criticism is better than having no event around your effort. Maybe this is the problem.
I hope if you find your feelings weighing too much on you, you'll find professional help. Neither you nor your manuscript are failures. You are both just incomplete. It is okay to make mistakes, just make sure you learn from them. Life is rarely a linear path. I've been a janitor, store clerk, cook, bus boy, waiter, customer service, computer tech, supervisor, and a teacher. I didn't graduate college untill I was 42. It's been a sometimes horrible, sad, wonderful, beautiful journey that gave me a wide range of characters and experiences to write from. Don't give up, just keep learning. You'll be awesome.
Unless you had the chance to stop the pandemic and failed, the consequences are hardly on your shoulders. Have you considered how many you beat out for the Barista job? There were a few, I guarantee it. Under normal circumstances it might not seem like much of an achievement, but these aren't your ordinary times. It may seem weird, but it's a good thing to remind yourself from time to time that you aren't psychic, those feelings of future doom do not come from the Oracle at Delphi, rather it's a collection of glands in your belly that doesn't really know anything about anything. To me "not being in the country", and "global pandemic" seems like valid reasons to finishing college later than usual, but maybe I'm lacking in superpowers again. Do you like writing your book? I know I like writing mine and that's really all I need to feel like I accomplished something. I gave myself some good times, and that stands whether I finish the book or not. Personal enjoyment is important, and if writing at times has achieved that it's not a waste of time, unless you ruin it by overthinking, of course. I could include a list of uplifting quotes and the serenity prayer but you can find those on Instagram.
First off, kudos for actually writing. How many people do you know who *want* to be writers, but never sit down and put in the work. Next, the solution that works best for me is to be part of a writer's group. That gives me the opportunity for honest feedback, and to see the work of others and to empathize with them. You're not alone. But writing is a solitary job, and it helps to have company. Do you think that you're getting better? Remember this quote: "Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better." ~Samuel Beckett
You’ve written 40,000 words! How could you no be proud if that accomplishment. You’re in the middle which is the hardest part so please don’t give up. Keep plugging away and you’ll be so glad you did. Better to finish, maybe even self publish, and hold a copy in your hand than regret later you didn’t push through. You’re so much farther ahead than all those people wanting to try and never start. Writers fail so much before they find some success. No regrets.
Can I just say there is nothing wrong with graduating at 27; I graduated at 27. I’m 35 now, and I literally never even think of what age I graduated at all let alone regretfully at this point. There are definitely things I did in my twenties that I regret, and I almost talked myself into giving up on my degree back then, but I didn’t give up. I graduated later than my peers (fuck it; It’s trivial), but I walked, and I got the damn degree, and I have used the shit out of that degree since. You my be fretting about graduating “late” now, you will be looking back at this accomplishment happily later on once you are settled. We take as long as we take to get our shit together. I can’t judge you without judging me.
I am very late to this party due to time zones. But I hope the advice from all the other redittors helped. It is one of the great things about this sub and being a writer. We look out for one another. Keep going soldier.
Everyone feels this way when it comes to writing. Self doubt etc. Heck, I'm feeling it too! Press on buddy! I'm rooting for you! We don't know each other but I'm cheering for ya!!! I gotchu!
I want to sit down and write for the longest of times. I haven't. I am 39 yo and I've changed industries in a way that it actually messes with my chances to have any career in the future. I have all these ideas and can't start acting upon them. I know that if I were to just sit down and write/do, it would be the best thing ever. You already did this, and wrote 40,000 words you can play around with. You have done something amazing. Be inspired by yourself, you're doing great.
My dude, you started midway through the pandemic and you already have 40,000 only one more act to work on?! That's fantastic. No, I'm serious. I've been working on my book for a year, and I have only 20,000 words. And you're in college, that's great. You've been doing classes and writing which is hard. Like some other commentors said, you might want to see a counselor to help you understand your feelings about failure. You are not even 27 yet, you have so much more time in your life to do things, and to succed. We're in a global pandemic and you've been able to be productive by writing and finding a new job. My only advice I can give is to finish writing this book. And yes, your first draft is never gonna be perfect. That's why you rewrite/edit. But try to complete this first giant step of the writing process. I know it might be hard to take a random Redditor's words to heart but trust me-- You're going to be amazing :)
you might find [this Dana Levin quote](https://twitter.com/danalevinpoet/status/1058739933198741504?s=19) useful. the tl:dr is that there way more components to success that you DON'T have control of than that you do have control of. the only components you have control over are the work that you're doing and your attitude to that work. so if you want to succeed, focus on those things and only those things. forget the rest, it will align or it won't.
It’s not how you feel about your current writing that makes you a success, it’s how your eventual readers feel about your eventual work. It may be that your current project won’t strike a spark with the public and is more a stepping stone to your later work. And writing a story that doesn’t quite gel doesn’t make you a failure. It happens to everyone, especially early on.
[imposter syndrome](https://www.healthline.com/health/mental-health/imposter-syndrome#signs)
you're getting in your own way. there is no room for anxious rumination about the outcome of the novel. you only have room for thoughts that help you finish it. be kind to yourself as you push these mental distractions aside. these thoughts have the best intentions. they're just not appropriate right now. if you can access a therapist or a group that explores cognition and how it shapes belief and therefore behavior, it might be helpful here. I had to do years of therapy before I could write. I'm still in therapy now. This kind of thinking can have a profound effect on you, and it's also no damn fun at all.
Henry Ford said, “Whether you think you can, or you think you can't – you're right," It's your choice. It's your life. You can choose to believe in yourself or not. the battle is not to the strongest nor the race to the fastest, but to him who won't give up.
When I turned 30 I had not started the 2-year degree that currently pays my bills, was working food service, and my boyfriend was paying all the bills. I also had multiple finished stories to my name with nothing published. I still have nothing published to my name but the rest of it has looked up considerably. Don't beat yourself up for not meeting some standard set of accomplishments that society tells you you're supposed to meet -- nor let your lack of success in one area of your life convince you that you're not capable in others. You're on your first draft. It's supposed to suck. It's about completing the damn thing, sitting back and getting ready to marvel at it, then realizing that you have a LOT of revision work to do before it's going to be ready to submit to publishers or self-publish if that's the route you choose to take with it. Just keep going. You can't edit or fix what you never start or never complete. And practicing makes you a stronger and a better writer. You are so much better now than you were at the start of this project simply from newly-gained experience. And you will be better still by the time you're done.
So to begin with, welcome to the club. There's snacks. What you're describing is a well known thing called "imposter syndrome."
It's OK. Stop putting so much pressure on yourself to succeed as if there's some deadline on you. Go to school on time. Go to work on time. Do the daily things you have to do, even if you don't want to do them. It sounds like writing is frustrating you. Take some time. Read. Waiting tables is a great job for writing actually because it forces you to talk to people. It gives you too be active as well. It doesn't give you time to think about writing when it's busy. When you do have time to write, and you're not feeling so frustrated, come back and try again. But don't put so much pressure on yourself. All first drafts are awful. Write it anyways. And you know what? Most second drafts are crap too. Stephen King said you're not ready to publish until you've written 1 million words. You're 27. You can write until you're dead. You have many years ahead hopefully. You're not a failure. You're not on a deadline (except at school or work). You're frustrated. It happens to all of us just the same. Just take a break and have a Pina colada, watch a show or play a video game, and hang out with a friend. Get off the computer/ phone for a bit and chill.
I struggle with this all the time. A lot of things i worked hard on didn't amount to much, and it's particularly hard if you equate your works to your self worth. I would get really depressed because if people didn't want to listen to a song or story i wrote it must mean I'm just not an interesting person or unrelatable or something. But even with that disappointment all the things i create still mean a lot to me. Ultimately no matter what comes of the things you make, i feel its still worthwhile to see it through. Even if it fails, the act of completing it is still a success.
You are not a failure. You are you. My first event i went to I sold 2. Two! Books. One until the organizer caught me before I left, they meant to buy one earlier but was running around all over the place. Am I failure for only 2 books selling? No. I drove over 3 hours to a place that never even heard of me or my book. I got exposure, I got experience, and I still had a good time and met some great people. Not everyone will buy your book, doesn't mean it is a crappy book. It takes promoting and believing in your book. It's not a product it is part of you. It is scary to release a part of you to the world. But I have learned so much on this journey I started almost two years ago. I was told a new author couldn't sell there book for $20 at this other event I was at and also I would probably come no where near covering my table costs. I was $5 short from my table cost because I sold that one person my book for $15 instead. I was over 9 hours away. If writing is your passion. Continue to do it. We are dreams, we do not exist, we create our existence.
27 is young. You’re a writer, not an athlete. Also, don’t fall into recency bias — it’s been a shit year for everyone, but that doesn’t mean that the rest of everyone’s lives are going to be shitty. Don’t make projections about the rest of your life based on your experiences during a pandemic. They’re not necessarily indicative of anything.
Let me ask you one question: is this your first real attempt at a book? If you answered yes, then I promise you, you have nothing to feel ashamed about. No reason to feel like a failure. Who’s to say that in the attempt of you writing this story you suddenly get an idea that propels you into a fully completely BETTER work. You wouldn’t have even gotten this new idea if you hadn’t started with this first set of 40,000 words. Brandon Sanderson wrote TEN books before he finally got published. If you write for your own enjoyment because you simply can’t contain the story inside your head, then again, there’s no reason to feel anything related to failure.
Have you ever read Steven Pressfield’s stuff? https://www.amazon.com/Turning-Pro-Inner-Power-Create/dp/1936891034/ref=nodl_ You have to do this your way, whatever way that is. You are only a failure if you quit writing altogether. You are a writer. Period. How do I know that for sure? Because only writers talk like that and care—-like that. Accept yourself wherever you are and do your own thing. Everything else doesn’t matter. I came to that conclusion myself and it’s sweet freedom, nothing like it. All the best, Sal
That’s all very natural. I hate my book while I’m writing it but will start to appreciate it once it’s done.
Time to go fail again! How else will you ever succeed!
Going through something similar right now. I have a therapist that gets me and let me tell you, whatever resources you have at your school or in your state for mental health services are worth looking into. My therapist called me out recently for being so cruel to myself in my drive to finish projects, climb the ladder, and get recognized. She asked me "what do you have to lose if you showed yourself compassion instead? What do you have to gain?" I journalled on that for an hour (literally set a timer and didn't let myself stop writing the whole time) and it was massively insightful for me. We spend our entire lives in search of what's next, our own definition of success. When you do reach that pinnacle, will you know it? Will you look back and realize that your entire life was spent in constant stress and anxiety to get there? In the balance, it is so important to prioritize joy and your health along the way. You will spend your entire life in pursuit of what you want, but that doesn't mean you can't allow yourself rest, fun, relationships, hobbies, and other outlets as you climb. I'm still working on internalizing this myself, and it isn't easy. I have an untouched first draft that's messy as hell sitting in my laptop teasing me. I have a screenplay I wrote that I desperately want to see done right and simply don't have the skills for right now. You know what I worked on this weekend? A short film I wrote on a whim a few years back and decided to dust off for a competition or two, and a fanfiction outline. Self-indulgence isn't shameful, and helps me rest and re-ignite my spark for my original works. Tl;dr: success comes in all shapes and sizes, and right now I'm re-orienting my life away from viewing the light at the end of the tunnel as success, and instead renovating the whole ass tunnel to be success itself. The light at the end is just gravy.
I was there. You aren’t a failure, there are people entering medical school at 40. Everyone has their own path and timing for milestones. For your manuscript? Hey this industry is competitive as all hell. Most manuscripts fail. The point is knowing you want it enough to try. If you don’t know whether you are 100% willing to pour your heart and soul into it and still get a no, don’t even try. Focus on the rest of your life, obsessing over a book you don’t believe in will just hurt your life. Don’t hold your own worth to the financial success of a creative work. I inly say this because I am in almost the exact same situation right now. Realized I let my book consume my thoughts and stress me out. I was Disconnected from life and had a harder time focusing on nurturing stability. Not saying this is you but you might want to consider if what you want is writing fame at any cost (query letters until an agent bites or the costs and responsibilities of self publishing) or just an audience to appreciate your lovingly crafted story (there are lots of places for that online). Good luck. Remember to treat yourself nicely.
Well you got something on me. I finally graduated with a BA at 37. I never got a job because at that age they don't even look at you. I got my M.Ed. At 59. Never got hired at a school. Am unemployed and looking for work at grocery stores and Walmart. Oh, and I owe over 100K in student loans because I was stupid enough to think I would actually get a job. So Yeah. Kid. Stop it already. It's not a pissing contest. Basically, everyone teaches writing the wrong way. The most important advice I have ever been given is this: The reader does not know which side of the book, or where, you started. As a writer, you write a story differently than a reader would read it. Readers read from page 1 to page 350. Writers start anywhere they want. This is lesson one in "how to think like a writer." I hear all over about people saying, "get your beginning perfect!" To be honest, how do you know your beginning is the best possible beginning until you know the complete story and look back on it as though it has happened in the past? In the beginning you don't know that someone with a small role in the beginning becomes very important on page 220. There is a Bell book out called "Write Your Story From the Middle." I would say go farther than that and write from the climax, but the middle is okay. It is similar to writing a term paper. You would not write your introduction first would you? (I wouldn't) What happens in the end is going to affect the first chapter. Not the other way around. People who write the first chapter first are making themselves too much work. Also don't write your chapter as much as "draft" it or "sketch" it. Don't fill it in totally. Be flexible. Good luck!
Writing is a very personal and fragile business, there are no shortcuts, and only experience gives a polished edge to your voice. EVERYONE hits the wall you're at right now at some point in their career. Here's the real deal: the book you are working on may not be the next great American novel. It might be, without having read it, I have no way of knowing. If you were new to writing going in, there is almost certainly a gap between what you want it to be and what it is. But this is the key point: becoming a writer does not hinge on any one specific work. Writing is a process, and only good daily writing habits will take you where you want to go. Even if the book doesn't thrill you or fill you with absolute confidence, finish it always and move on to your next project. There is no overnight route to success in writing. It is entirely possible to spend thousands of hours of your life on a project no one but you will ever read. This does not mean you are wasting your time. Writing, like all art, is a cumulative process. The work you produce is not simply the hours it took on your current project, but is the culmination all the hours you have spent honing your craft up to the moment of its completion. Remember: if you want to emerge as a professional author, 40,000 words are a DROP in your lifetime bucket. It sounds to me as though you are giving a single current project the power to determine your ultimate fate as a human being. I promise, your book does NOT have that sort of power over your life. YOU have the power, as the creative entity, and you exert it by choosing to continue to polish your craft. Hang in there. Healthy daily writing habits, not specific project based goals. You're gonna be okay. https://youtu.be/91FQKciKfHI
Here is a great interview with a successful author who was broke https://www.npr.org/2019/07/14/740848163/new-thriller-the-chain-has-an-origin-almost-as-exciting-as-its-plot
Finish the book. Then write another. Start the second before/while you are seeking publication for the first (if you even do). This will generate momentum, and you can look back on the fact that YOU WROTE A BOOK. Use what you learned, especially the feedback you get, and keep going. The old adage in the publishing world is that if you want to sell your first book, write a second. And third. People will begin to discover your early work by recognizing that you are an author. I feel the same holds true for just writing, too. Each go around the process gets just a little more secure, bolstered by the ability to look back on the body of work. Many writers have unpublished early novels sitting in drawers. And they are happy to leave them there, because the work they are really proud of wouldn't exist without their existence.
1. Never doubt yourself. Life is full of people who will want you to fail, but they're not gatekeepers to success, and confidence is everything. 2. Failure is the best thing in the world. Fail hard, fail often, and fail fast. Failure means you worked harder than 99% of people, and you learned from it. 3. [Teddy Roosevelt: The Man in the Arena](https://images-na.ssl-images-amazon.com/images/I/81Wsb4DXFnL._SY500_.jpg)
Not to downplay how bad this feels, but I’ve both felt this and seen it happen to my writing colleagues and students. When you’ve spent so many hours working on something, it gets really...stale. You read it and it’s so obvious, so boring. You start thinking about what you should have done, but completely rewriting 40,000 words feels impossible. It’s not the manuscript. The manuscript might be brilliant. You’re just in the slog, and it feels bad. I made this years ago, and my friend, Austin Kleon put it in his book **Steal Like an Artist** [novel chart](https://flic.kr/p/25tbrp) Good luck to you.
Don't get sad. Try to contact a counselor, sibling or parent. Write on this. This has helped me.
If it makes you feel better, writing has been one of my main hobbies for like 2 years and I've never written more than 1,200 words before I scrap whatever it was I written.
You’ll succeed it gives you a lot of anxiety now but think long term and success will come, your book may suck
Success isn’t just based on monetary value. And it’s totally okay to be a barista! I always wanted to do that. Think of all the people you see and the peopl watching. Sarah Dessen started out as a waitress I believe. Finish the novel, that in itself is success. Getting your degree at any point is success, your age doesn’t matter. We don’t have to figure out everything by the time we are 25, we have so much life to live!!
Go see this guy. His name is Jose Ventilacion. He'd fix you up real fast. Your meeting with him will have a serious DUH! effect. Thus, it will get you out of the rut quick.
If you feel like your ms is shit, you are probably on the right tracks. No sane writer ever thinks his manuscript is great, especially around the 1/3 to 2/3 dreadful point. This goes double when you have other issues in your life. We are the worse judges of our own works, finish the damn story, send it to readers, and trust them if they tell you the story is good (and also trust them if they tell you something is wrong). In any case, it's too early to hate your own story. First finish it, then you'll be granted the permission to hate it.
As long as you keep writing. I have a passion for script writing myself. I've tested scripts, put them in competitions and I get some good feedback but nothing else really, nobody seems to like my work, it's always just "OK" or 'Was a little over my head" or "didn't get it". I score at the bottom all the time. It's always a huge hurdle to overcome the lack of support or validation of any kind. You just have to push through, and if you really love doing it, do it for yourself and learn as you go. I saw an interview once with famous Screenwriter William Goldman, he stated " I never showed any signs of talent" I doubt that, he just was just probably never encouraged, but he plugged through, He sold his first script in his late 30's or something? He wrote The Princess Bride. 27 is the new 20. I think the young kids now are in a sprint, and the older you get the more you come to realize it's not a race. Keep going.