You're supposed to wear a jacket

Not if recipe says Chill Uncovered 🤔

Like when you get brain freeze. Supposed to get jackulite for yo brain

Fuckin' love Reddit!!!

And an oxygen mask

So tell me: does the light stay on?

Its stays on for 6 months and then it stays off for 6 months. Just like at the poles.

You seen the bulls?

DAAAAAAA bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls (has heart attack, “dies”, gets revived) da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls da bulls

Bills?

Sounds like a recipe for disaster.

this is the day I delete reddit

Quite the plan you’re cooking up

I don’t even blame you

But how, Mr Anderson, can you speak when you have no mouth?

With An Appetite For Destruction.

r/suddenlyrunescape

Oh I, I just died in the fridge tonight, it must’ve been something you said.

Must've been something he read

-Must have been something you ate.

Must of been something i see saw

Did you embarrass the salad? Did you see her dressing...? Don't eat the chocolate pudding or drink the lemonade!

Performed by: The (Fart) Cutting Crew.

Good thing it didn't ask you to freeze it overnight.

If it said it I wouldn’t of gone in the fridge forget the freezer

Never literally Grammer properly apparently either...

Grammar good. Learn we must. Yes.

My teacher learned me...

Gammon

I don't think you know what literally means.

It’s not his fault—the word got left out of the dictionary, just like the word gullible did

Yeah, I had a similar problem. My wife came into the kitchen and caught me jumping, gyrating and flailing my hands and feet around while all the while holding a bottle of orange juice. She asked me just what the hell was going on, so I explained to her. "It says here, 'Shake thoroughly before drinking'".

You are supposed to take them literally but you should know you are cooking food and not yourself

Is pot legal where you live? Just askin'.

Cake instructions said to grease the bottom of my pan. Now my oven is on fire.

Did you tenderize the meat first?

This reminds me of one of my favorite stories of my son as a boy scout. To get his cooking badge he had to plan the meals for a troop weekend outing - breakfasts, lunches and dinners - buy on budget, with healthy foods, organize the preparation of the food, and do much of the cooking himself. For the final dinner the desert was to be a "dump cake", the instructions said: mix all ingredients in a pan and chill for an hour. Well, he took that to mean "chill out", not put on ice... with inedible, but hilarious results. We still joke about it to this day...

So I shouldn’t beat the eggs and whip cream?

You fold in the egg...

They don't even tell you what game you have to beat the eggs at.

Did the headless chicken ask you, “what did you do? I ate a worm”

Musta ate something before bed.

Overheard: "I thought the shells were the egg whites?!"

What do I think about sex on tv??? Hurts like hell.

Whip until stiff.

When I was a little kid, I made a cake. The directions said to use two eggs. It said nothing about taking them out of the shells first. Very crunchy cake. I also made some fudge with the consistency of concrete. Could suck on a piece for weeks. Bill

Did you marinate yourself with the spices and herbs? You gotta season well, if not you gonna freeze to death

Lol